Saturday, March 23, 2013

Schizoid (part 1)

From a reader:


I just found your blog today and while I probably won't come back, I read a lot of what you wrote for several hours and found it really interesting. I just wanted to send you a message of appreciation or something? I don't know, I just found that you seem really intelligent and what you write seems really logical.

I find human interaction to typically be pretty weird and bad. And I can relate in a small way to a lot of things you wrote. Anyway, I really think people misunderstand sociopaths. And actually really misunderstand many things about humans and life, but I'll try not to talk about something irrelevant.

I mean for example, I see tons of people talking about how sociopaths are automatically acting purely in self-interest, and that self-interest is intrinsically evil, and that because one is acting in self-interest without appealing to emotion, that they are always inclined to being evil. I think this is a huge misunderstanding of motivation, what is right/wrong, and how people in general operate.

Everyone acts in their self-interest. "Neurotypicals" do it all the time. They do things that hurt other people all the time. Their emotions drive them to do irrational things. They try to control others all the time. Look at how normal romantic relationships end up, each person is so high from their emotions that they viciously require the other person to do what they want (i.e. don't have sex with other people! don't go out with friends more than me! tell me you love me every day!). They also appeal to emotion for what is "right" to do. And objectively, this is unjustified. Anyone who has learned about philosophy knows this.

I have an intuitive approach to what is right/wrong to do and what to do. Obviously what is right to do is what seems like it will produce the best outcome. It doesn't take empathy to understand what the best outcome is. I'm sure most people who have high empathy don't even consider the outcome when they do something they think is "right". Isn't that equally selfish to not feeling any? They do what they think is right because it makes them feel good. How is that a good thing?

It seems somewhat coincidental that some of the things that people empathize about are the logical things to do. This makes sense I guess, because what is logical to do is to work for a "better" state of affairs overall, and I'm sure people don't think being dead / suffering is a better state of affairs. Although, in addition to being coincidental, it's probably also because what is simply better for people aligns with them having the ability to reproduce (unfortunately), and so... this is a favored trait.


I sort of wanted to ask if I'm correct in a particular perception of sociopaths which I think most people are way off about: Is it really more beneficial for someone to act in a way that does "good" things for others, and do most sociopaths understand this? I currently believe that to be the case. I mean, it's obviously not an absolute rule, it's just a general rule that even when acting in total self-interest, it's better overall to do what is also optimal for everyone else, because one has to live with them anyway, and each person's reactions to action of someone else affects (can affect?) their life. I.e. if someone decides that they want to steal from their family, this is, overall, probably bad for them because eventually the results of this will be worse for them than if they had not done so. I think the only reason it wouldn't work is for people who are essentially "co-dependent", for lack of better words? But for example if I keep allowing someone to do something to me that I really don't want them to do (like living in my house without paying), and then I blame them for taking advantage of me, is it really their fault? I don't think so, I think I would be providing them with the ability to do this behavior.

So what I am trying to say is that effectively, I think sociopaths should be able to operate fine in a society where there is freedom, because of how the interests of all agents would interact with each other. And I think that typically people "defend themselves" enough that it's not optimal for oneself to take advantage of others. I mean it's the same kind of thing that should allow capitalism to work in theory. A company -can- take advantage of its customers if it wants to, but this is not optimal for the company, because the customers (if they aren't stupid) will stop coming back and the company won't have any money/ability to do anything more.


129 comments:

  1. The owner of this web page is a total hypocrite and writes about things which in effect the person doesn't practice.

    We can all write about things, ie the right and wrongs, and the perfect little world we live in, but is that reality, I think not. Delusional, we can all be that, the bottom line is a Sociopath cares not about other people, if they pretend to it is because they see some benefit in doing so.

    The posts can be misleading, but just my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. do what i say not what i do
      (sorry dad that type of parenting don't work you are a sociopath and so am i)

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    2. Oh, and what a joy these self proclaimed 'Psychopaths' are.

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    3. Whatever. Screw you.

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    4. What's in a label?

      Your sense of identity?

      Is that where your devotion truly lies?

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    5. Anonymous at 3:15
      Absolutely agree with you, and I am a licensed clinical psychologist.

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    6. The Fomentiles?

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    7. @6:10 and i'm the new pope

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    8. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEdPOn0HmdQ
      here's the new pope

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    9. I'm with Alter on this one.


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    10. lol did it again started a trend shiting on ME

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  2. @Anon 3:15
    You are missing the whole point. Stick around :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What's your point in putting people on hold? Control?

      Delete
    2. @Anon 6:17
      Are you talking to me?

      Delete
    3. the point is i have a hard on

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    4. yeah fix that monica

      Delete
  3. This is why sociopaths are so successful. I mean, they will ofen practically tell folks straight up that they are not good people, that they enjoy hurting others and breaking hearts and that they look at people as objects to be used; to be valued only for what they can provide, to be easily discarded once what they can provide is used up (often by them) or no longer available. Books and psychology text illustrate with in depth examples the behavior and mindset of these people. But people still buy into their slick presentations. Probably because the S sublty encourages the N to feel special. To feel good and that they "get" something.

    A comparison is made between sociopaths and "neurotypicals" (often by sociopaths). S's and N's couldn't be more different for the most part. Yes, N's do use people and commit horrific acts from time to time. But the reasons they do this are very different. A sociopaths is always using someone. They don't look at others as humans with rights, but as objects to be used and providers of entertainment. They don't feel guilt because they got nothing to be guilty of. They don't have a conscience and don't feel allegiance to other humans or to a benvolent god. They don't think anything is wrong with them, but quite the opposite. For them it is the N who is delusional (extending beyond denial of truths, but including having a conscience and empathy), and so stupid as to require nothing but contempt. It's the N's fault they got used or destroyed. Sometimes, that is true.

    A neurotypical who kills lets say out of anger or sometimes even out of justifiable defense will usually feel guilt and remorse later after the emotions and hormones settle. A sociopath who kills for the most part doesn't feel any of that and may have no more reason to do it than for kicks. And they may do it again because its fun. The N that killed is unlikely to do it again, and the behaviour and act might be looked at as anomaly based on a very specific situation. An N that uses another for something makes that person an asshole, someone exhibiting bad behavior, something to recognize and something to aspire out of. The difference here is that a sociopath is always using someone, sometimes for terrible ends, often doing it in multiple threads. The N can learn to stop the behavior. The S can learn how to do it better.

    With relationships, mature people are honest with each other and discuss what they expect from each other. If there is no agreement then that is what is. There is no real consistent honesty with Sociopaths. For more on this grab a psychology book, one that includes a chapter on cluster b personality disorders.

    Sociopaths are pretty good at eliciting pity. They can be quite charming as well. Logic, especially appearing untwisted, can lend a sublte honest and humble feel to its purveyor. Logic is truth and can be relaxing and beautiful, and logic can be twisted. Sometimes it's not easy to see where that is happening.

    N's can exhibit what we call bad behavior, but this usually happens for a reason. It could be anything from a lack of maturity (improvement possible) to a rare specific situation which likely won't happen again (couple with remorse, connection to other humans). Sociopaths are different animals and comparing the two in a way that suggests great similarity only benefits the wolf.

    That said, great blog (lol).

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  4. Hi Fomentiles and sw regular psychology experts!

    My friend's father told him never get attached to anything. He advises him never to like a job so much, never to need people, and to never rely on another because if he does then he is setting himself up to get hurt.

    The father must have had disappointment earlier in life. I'm pretty sure the dad is a narcissist.

    Is this a typical lesson for a narc to be teaching their kid?

    what kind of person is he grooming the kid to be?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. usualy borderline or npd

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    2. thanks.

      Makes sense. Actually it is about me and it is my mom who put that in my head.

      Delete
    3. so then what would that borderline or an npd kid tell their kids?

      or would they not be likely to be having any.

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    4. Sounds totally like my mother, i'd say NPD.

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    5. MyMind, you are NPD ?

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    6. @Intimacy Anon
      I had some things I wanted to discuss with you. I was feeling really self destructive, yesterday. I sat with it and tried to figure it out, as I see M.E do with her inner struggles.

      I came to some insights that may help you and will help me to discuss it. I have huge, huge hatred inside of me for my mother being sadistic to me and enjoying it. It is in my stomach. I push it down because it is a volcano of anger and I am afraid of it. Lately, I have been trying to show anger to the people who treat me badly and we all have them, as humans violate each others boundaries to lesser or greater degrees.

      Yesterday, I ripped the decorator a new one when she got nasty at me for buying only one of her items and not more. I told her she had 3 choices. She could show me her items and I would pick what I liked. She could not show me her items and not get my business. I will either find someone else, do it myself or not do it. She shut up.

      I felt kind of guilty, but that is natural after stuffing anger for so long. I think one key out of self destruction is to feel anger and show it to people when they violate you. My stomach still hurts and I have just made a dent in it, but wanted to see what you thought.

      Delete
    7. Related article about borderline moms and their affect on their kids:

      http://www.bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a108.htm

      Delete
    8. @7:58

      Yeah, they would.

      The thing is that especially NPDs are likely to have kids, first of all because they think they're normal, so why shouldn't they have kids? the second thing is, kids provide them with a constant amount of NS and/or power(kinda the same, but i like to differenciate).

      Delete
    9. No, i am not.

      I'd refer to myself as a socio.

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    10. I didnt know that it makes one feel guilty to show anger when you are not used to it.

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    11. when *one is not used to it.

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    12. thank you, Aspie. Thank you, MyMind.

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    13. Monica, that sounds like the time i felt like i got loud with my super for trying to tell me my toilet was acting funny because i put cat litter down it. She wanted to blame me for a problem that has nothing to do with that.

      It was an odd thing. I did not like getting loud with her. In fact, i dont think i did, but i did curse, She smiled because she knew that i was right, and that she always will blame the tenant before she has to commit to doing any real work.

      Delete
    14. the only people i might show my rage to are my immediate family. Also, my narcissist friend who i dumped.... the one who had me for a side kick.

      She puts me to rage and she likes it, i think.

      Delete
    15. Monica, you think it is guilt, that glitch in your stomach?? Do you think the saleswoman was annoyed at you for expressing anger?? or do you think it is you who just feel it is shameful to get angry.

      I have shame of expressing anger, so that's why i ask.

      Delete
    16. Anon 8:58
      I feel great, great shame at expressing anger. Thanks for putting it that clearly. It helps!

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    17. Ur welcome, Monica.

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    18. monica ~
      Did it ever occur to to you that your mother, while pleasuring herself was a very indeed act of HER craziness that had nothing to do with you?

      But your continued act of nursing these memories is YOUR craziness that has nothing to do with her.

      You claim to be an intelligent person - in fact work very hard at trying to impress others. My only surmise is that you inherited your mother's DNA and your going to milk it and pleasure yourself for all it's worth.

      You are a "con."

      Delete
    19. con? she was victim, and is now trying to escape her own mind. She puts her mind to ttak herself as a habit because she was brainwashed as a child. "con" is overreaching.

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    20. I have some property that I would like to see you? LOL

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    21. you are talking to me @1027.

      i know she isnt real. nobody is real here. it's like one or 2 people playing with themselves.

      Delete
    22. Anon 10:36

      Whatever you say, Monica

      Delete
    23. Anon 10:27
      Sorry, you didn't prove your case of over reaching. Blanket stupid remark.

      Delete
    24. I'm not really that good at proving things. I can feel it.

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    25. do you think it is possible for some people to be cons and not readily know they are cons??

      With my crying narcissist friend i r l, i called her out on crying. I honestly don't think she sees herself as a con.

      I came to terms with some "pulling out of tears" i r l

      ( never hear, mind you *crosses heart* )

      There is a very very fine line!

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    26. Anon 10:11
      That is obvious. The problem is that the victim builds up complex defenses to keep form going crazy. The person is fighting his own defenses. Psych 101 ~

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    27. Monica, I know someone put this up before, but i'm going to do it again

      http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/daughters-of-narcissistic-mothers.html

      Delete
    28. they literally have sucked out your core from a tiny age, and depending on what else has gone on, life is one big puzzle.

      And the worst thing, is that they are inside you, like a fucking parasite you have to keep poisoning every fucking day.

      I mean how do you nurture yourself and poison the parasite still inside you at the same time? And you are supposed to love yourslf with all this ugly inside you?

      Delete
    29. you are supposed to love yourself with all the ugly.

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    30. @ 3:49 Intimacy? I think that's you. Anyway, the answer is you don't. Nurturing yourself and poisoning the parasite are mutually exclusive and only one will help you survive.

      It sounds like you know what your mom taught you is wrong, so use that information. You have to search for healthy attachments and lean in toward the people you feel safe needing. Find a job you love. Tie yourself to the good things in life. That will strengthen your core.

      And the parasite? It's not your mom; it's you, so you will never drown it out. Actually you have to lean in to it. This is sort of a guerilla tactic, but it's basically what a shrink would do with you: You have to let your demons out, whatever they are for you. Unleash your anger (at the right targets). That's probably scary, but you have to go with it. Maybe you'll be the person who sucks the air out of the room for a while, as you feed yourself what you've needed. Rude? Embarrassing? So what. Fuck that shame. This is how you actually heal and you won't be fully functioning until you do. You'll be splitting your power in half and really vulnerable. And no one worth anything will begrudge you doing what you need, so be selfish! (Caveat: with adults, not kids.) If you're an empath you have a good chance of finding your way back and reestablishing balance.

      And when you're done, the parasite won't be a parasite anymore, but something that makes you incredibly strong. And you'll actually have more to give to others because you yourself are fulfilled. Don't be scarred. You can do this. It's actually the easy bit after everything you've been through. QM

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    31. Thank you QM.

      Delete
  5. I'd like to share a song for Rich's death, too.
    I always liked and understood that song, that's why it's kinda special to me. I Liked him.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVTJuepNAAc

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I liked him too, Mymind.

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    2. Monica killed him.

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    3. I know you guys say stuff like that to mess with her, but if you guys would be in any way able to think rational, you would realize that all the stuff you accuse her of, would make her pretty damn awesome, i mean in the way, what amount of different stuff she accomplishes.
      So what you're doing is 1st pretty dumb and 2nd the opposite of what you're intending to do.

      Delete
    4. I am upset rich is gone, and i know monica makes up characters. So i'd just assume stab in the dark at any person capable of doing that kind of meanness.

      If Rich was really a person and is really gone, then i am sad. His persona was invented for sw. By someone here. And i am going to suss that person out.

      Delete
    5. . . . and I will tell them very angrily that I am very angry at them for taking him away.

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    6. ^^ blustery lie.

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    7. That's sad if really true. He seemed very happy interacting here.

      If true, RIP Rich, god bless.

      dream suite

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    8. He did.

      that was nice, aspie.

      :) Goodbye Rich!!! ..if you are gone!!!

      If not , then you can know that all these people liked you!!!!!

      You lit up the room and took the doldrums right out of this mortuary ! ! ! ! !

      Delete
    9. Funny you should say that, suspicious anon. I used to suspect it was a particular regular assuming another persona to relate his true life story. Nobody could have that intimate an understanding of drug abuse without having experienced it.

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    10. I suspected that "Rich" was Monica to "show" us how beneficial it was to have a laughing, unassuming personality.

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    11. i know which regular it is. It is Medusa.

      Delete


    12. Oh. That was a very good tactic 1:28

      He made me feel like it was ok to say vulnerable things abt myself. I was glad about that.

      Cheers to Rich in Heaven

      Delete
    13. Anon 1:41
      "That was a very good tactic."

      How about "Spot On?"

      Delete
    14. I remember recently one poster had remarked to him that as an addict it is all his own fault and that he chooses it and it is different than say an inborn or largely genetically derived personality disorder like BPD or ASPD. I was going to remark at that time, but decided not to, that many addicts are born with a different brain biochemistry and neurotransmitter sensitivity and balance that makes them vulnerable to the effects of drugs and alcohol in terms of addiction potential and that this sometimes coupled say with an abusive or difficult childhood can create a problem as hard to deal with/overcome and as disabling if not more so than any PD. It can also be part of a PD.

      I don't think Rich responded to the commenter. I think medusa would have responded. But you never know. He did seem to be very friendly with the two newest I believe S's here and they were nice back pretty consistenly.

      Delete
    15. @Aspie
      Are Monica and Medusa great friends?

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    16. I haven't followed the drama that closely but I don't think so.

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    17. I remember that and i remember who it was.

      I don't think it was a typical day for them

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    18. yes, they are best friends.

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    19. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


      biotch.

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    20. The only other scenario is "which I suspected" that Rich was Monica's son and she is working thru her "stuff" and remembrance of him.

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    21. so maybe she let him go?

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    22. Monica was that you playing your son, Rich?

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    23. Yeah you guys got me, I'm a huge drug addict in real life and love exclamation points.

      Delete
  6. Monica do you have any of this??

    Some characteristics of adults shamed in childhood

    1. Adults shamed as children are afraid of vulnerability and fear of exposure of the self.

    2. Adults shamed as children may suffer extreme shyness, embarrassment and feelings of being inferior to others. They don't believe they make mistakes. Instead they believe they are mistakes.

    3. Adults shamed as children fear intimacy and tend to avoid real commitment in relationships. These adults frequently express the feeling that one foot is out of the door prepared to run.

    4. Adults shamed as children may appear either grandiose and self-centered or seem selfless.

    5. Adults shamed as children feel that, "No matter what I do, it won't make a difference; I am and always will be worthless and unlovable."

    6. Adults shamed as children frequently feel defensive when even a minor negative feedback is given. They suffer feelings of severe humiliation if forced to look at mistakes or imperfections.

    7. Adults shamed as children frequently blame others before they can be blamed.

    8. Adults shamed as children may suffer from debilitating guilt These individuals apologize constantly. They assume responsibility for the behavior of those around them.

    9. Adults shamed as children feel like outsiders. They feel a pervasive sense of loneliness throughout their lives, even when surrounded with those who love and care.

    10. Adults shamed as children project their beliefs about themselves onto others. They engage in mind-reading that is not in their favor, consistently feeling judged by others.

    11. Adults shamed as children often feel ugly, flawed and imperfect. These feelings regarding self may lead to focus on clothing and make-up in an attempt to hide flaws in personal appearance and self.

    12. Adults shamed as children often feel angry and judgmental towards the qualities in others that they feel ashamed of in themselves. This can lead to shaming others.

    13. Adults shamed as children often feel controlled from the outside as well as from within. Normal spontaneous expression is blocked.

    14. Adults shamed as children feel they must do things perfectly or not at all. This internalized belief frequently leads to performance anxiety and procrastination.

    15. Adults shamed as children experience depression.

    16. Adults shamed as children block their feelings of shame through compulsive behaviors like workaholis, eating disorders, shopping, substance abuse, list-making or gambling.

    17. Adults shamed as children lie to themselves and others.

    18. Adults shamed as children often have caseloads rather than friendships.

    19. Adults shamed as children often involve themselves in compulsive processing of past interactions and events and intellectualization as a defense against pain.

    20. Adults shamed as children have little sense of emotional boundaries. They feel constantly violated by others. They frequently build false boundaries through walls, rage, pleasing or isolation.

    21. Adults shamed as children are stuck in dependency or counter-dependency.

    Jane Middleton-Moz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will have to study it, Thanks. Your name sounds like a real shrink~

      Delete
    2. that name at the bottom there? no that is not me, monica.

      that list was on the side of the page from the link Aspie put up. I copied and pasted the section.

      I am intimacy anon. I am not a shrink, Monica.

      I was brought up to think i am stupid and everything i do is wrong. DUMB. And i am smart and talented. And I am very angry about it.

      Delete
    3. 10. Adults shamed as children project their beliefs about themselves onto others. They engage in mind-reading that is not in their favor, consistently feeling judged by others.

      This is the borderline projective identification thing, isn't it?

      Delete
    4. Anon 1:36

      I will have to study this and get back to you.

      Delete
    5. that wasn't me @136 loling

      Delete
    6. Anon 10:01
      I'm curious, why is it that people of importance or title always addresses, Monica? Isn't this obvious to others?

      Delete
    7. I dont understand the question.

      you are asking why some people speak to Monica and some don't? And you are saying that the people who do talk to her are people "of importance" or peolpe who have names?

      is what obvious to others?

      Delete
    8. is it really that funny?

      Delete
    9. Anon 3:11
      "Is it really that funny?"

      To think that I would respond to the 2:55 bullshit: Yes, it was laughable!

      Delete
    10. Ok lol


      so i guess 241 question must also be a joke.

      Delete
    11. Not to the regulars

      Delete
    12. Theme for Intimacy Anon
      With Love and Appreciation

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    13. thanks, themes.

      Delete
    14. @Intimacy Anon
      I have most of those shame qualities. Urrggh

      Delete
    15. I have a lot of them, too.

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    16. You know, I was thinking that the only difference between us and someone with high self esteem is just the programming. In a way, it is that simple. Are you the person who was a ballerina?

      Delete
    17. It is the programming, sure. The only difference?
      I was not a ballerina, Monica, but i do know the mindset well.

      Delete
    18. There was another woman I was talking to who was a ballerina and a lawyer but could never feel like she was worth anything. I had a horrible day, yesterday, very low, but a friend helped me to see that I have value. She lifted me up when I could not really do it myself. People on here were so kind, too.

      We need each other. My mother used to scorn people who needed people, but we do need a lift up. Everyone does. I would put myself down for it and think I was too needy and dependent. I probably am, but the fact remains that we all need each other.

      Delete
    19. Yes.

      :)

      Happy Messianic Jewish Passover, Monica.

      Delete
  7. This issue seems like the one of the key issues of our times. Specifically does empathy offer any demonstrable benefit for optimal human functioning and flourishing of civilization? Are empaths less likely to say "fuck it- I'm getting mine fuck everyone else"? I say no- as a neurotypical I have a inner compass (empathy) that I can turn on and off but usually leads me to feel bad hurting others if I pay attention to it. But that's the thing, I can consciously or unconsciously ignore it. So feeling bad because of empathy is a bit of a choice.

    Empathy a subtle sense for most and is subject completely to conditioning such as tribalism and socialization. So my guys- the empaths are the ones who will see a definite difference in the guys who torture, rape and murder for the government and serial killers who admit doing it because they like it. We are the ones who call some murdering and torturing rapists heroes and give them medals while claiming to not be able to understand the inhumanity, sadism and brutality of a Bob the Butcher Berdella..

    However, the conversation above is the one that should be happening politically between the so called left and right.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://www.democracynow.org/2013/3/22/new_expos_links_torture_centers_in

      versus

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rmUqF4rskg

      Delete
  8. IT NEVER FAILS TO SURPISE ME THAT WHEN I GET MAD PEOPLE GET SCARED CAN'T THEY SEE I'M NOT REAL?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It doesnt matter whether you are real or not.

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    2. "MAD," is the correct word.

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    3. "SCARED?" LMAF... :D

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    4. humor is a great quality in a manipulator (or indeed annyone)

      Delete
    5. Anon 11:43
      Yeah, proves sadistic quality of life

      Delete
    6. you sound like someone who got spanked my your mom

      Delete
    7. humor is a great quality in a manipulator (or indeed annyone)

      can you say why?

      Delete
    8. Anon 12:46

      I'm sure Monica will answer her own question to further teach us her insights

      Delete
    9. Where has she gone?

      Delete
    10. Good sense of humour.


      Delete
  9. Hi everybody. Can someone please tell me how parents shame their children? I mean this could be in different ways, and I am nt sure what the literature means. Is it as simplistic as putting the child down for physical or mental gap from the parents' expectations? Or, does it also include cases such as a child is ashamed because he feels his dad is not man enough, or her mom is not worldly enough?

    Also, I have not been reading lately, has Rich been at large for a while that you think he's gone gone?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A child ashamed of his father is a child ashamed of his father.

      A shamed child is a cruely treated and humiliated child. It damages the core identity. Could be through the parents, could occur through bullying etc. An example would be to publicly announce to your sons friends that your son still wets his bed because he is a lame-ass.

      Someone posted in the forum that Rich OD'd. Who knows if true.

      Delete
    2. Meant to begin all of that with .. hi sceli.

      Delete
    3. Hi, aspie. Thank you for the clarification on the shaming issue.

      I felt really sad when I read your Rich may have OD'ed news. I hope that is not true. Rich drew a very sad picture for me, led me to watch Traffic and all episodes of Breaking Bad I could get on Netflix. I hated that chemistry teacher character, and inadvertently sure came to dislike the actual actor as well. He was looking snaky in Argo as well.

      Delete
    4. Hi Aspie. I hope you don't mind, I have a question on a completely different topic.

      Is listening to a song over and over again ever associated with the autism spectrum? What about sensitivity to sound or problems with facial recognition? I think people have identified lots of commonalities that aren't part of the diagnostic criterion, like executive function problems, but I don't know all the folk wisdom, only what Penelope Trunk has discussed.

      Thank you. QM

      Delete
    5. Hi Scelli. It sounds like you knew him better than most here. I'm sorry. QM

      Delete
  10. Rich could have been UKan or Missus. For all practical purposes they are the in-house drug experts. It just would surprise me that they'd be able to stay in character for so long.

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  11. A long time ago, when things were not so complicated or painful, there was me. The you of you remains. It just gets buried so far down that you despair of ever finding it, and rightly so. It is there in the stirrings of wants and needs. It never stops calling, but the trick is to trust it more than the humiliations, which are trying to change you into a from that is consumable to the non thinking public like a Big Mac. Be a super sprout raw burger on a whole grain bun.

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    Replies
    1. I like this a lot, Sofa.

      Felt like I was burying the real me for many years. Trying so hard to be who I'm not, to convince myself that I really am the way everyone wants me to be. It was more by trapping me than humiliation, but I know what you're saying. Was miserable, empty. And occasionally violent. Problem is, I tried to bury my demons and my angels hid too.

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  12. Thanks so much for writing Anon 6:39

    I know my writing is not always the best and has platitudes but my heart touching yours is what heals.

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