Sunday, March 24, 2013

Schizoid (part 2)

From a reader (cont):


Anyway, along the same line, I think sociopaths who operate this way are the intelligent ones, and the ones who act immorally are simply irrational or less intelligent people, regardless of their sociopathy. If this is accurate, I think this is what creates a problem with normal peoples' perceptions of sociopaths. They only hear stories about ones who act irrationally, because these are the only ones who appear abnormal. Then it is attributed to sociopathy, even though I really doubt this is the reason for how they act. It's more the same for "empaths" than it might appear. Let's say someone gets really jealous because they're in love and their romantic partner cheats on them. Someone with very vivid feelings that affect their actions could decide to kill the third partner. They might really want to kill that person because of their strong feelings, and this would probably be seen as normal. But most of the time they won't, because it's irrational and overall it would not benefit them. But there are some instances where stuff like this happens. If normal people were to be consistent, they would say: "Empaths are evil, look at what their emotions make them do" and point to those exceptional cases. Unfortunately people are really inconsistent and also probably don't want to relate to themselves, and simply want to fit into a group and try to make that group seem superior. I could go on longer, but this is getting kind of long.

I don't think I am a sociopath but I'm really not normal at all. I think I'm schizoid. I wanted to mention some things about it. It sometimes seems in a way like an inverse of the sociopath. I feel things that "empaths" feel but I can't display them. I also rarely ever derive motivation from feelings. My emotions almost never drive me to do anything. And especially things relating to relationships. I rarely derive motivation from anything really, but when I do it is usually from rationality, not how I'm feeling. And also by not being able to "display" how I'm feeling, I mean that I might go to someone's funeral and not cry and not want to stay and not understand why people even have funerals. That doesn't mean I wouldn't feel sad about it, but I just don't have the physical reactions that normal people have. It seems like somehow, we have some strange similarity? But still, it sounds like an inverse is because it seems as though sociopaths are often lacking in inner feeling but have more ability to mimic normal physical  responses, yet schizoids have a lot of inner feeling, but lack any ability to mimic normal physical responses. It seems like if normal people have two halves of full emotions, we are each missing the opposite half. I don't know.

Lastly,  even though I said I am probably schizoid, I would prefer not to work with categories. I was somewhat interested in your opinion on this. You wrote one post about "sociopathic spectrum", and really I feel like everything is a spectrum. Categories don't make sense when each person is slightly different.

Well, my writing is really disorganized. Sorry. Maybe it will at least interest you in some way.

My response:

This was was very interesting and I wasn't surprised to read at the end that you identify as schizoid. I agree with almost everything you said. The one thing that I sort of disagree with is your characterization of antisocial behavior as being something that less intelligent sociopaths engage in. I used to believe this as well, now I think it's really more a matter of preference. I live in an over-priced, crowded, noisy, and often inconvenient city. There are studies that suggest that being raised in a city predisposes you to mental illness. Am I an idiot? I think it's just a matter of trade offs and knowing what you are willing to accept in exchange for what. For me, I have a great and supportive family so I would never defraud them. It would me like cutting down a lucrative fruit orchard to farm marijuana illegally. But if my family was not great and supportive, the economics of it would be different.

62 comments:

  1. "I live in an over-priced, crowded, noisy, and often inconvenient city. There are studies that suggest that being raised in a city predisposes you to mental illness."

    I'd say living in a city requires a lot more imagination..what does that do to your mind in the extreme?

    ReplyDelete
  2. what he's saying is me 's a schizoid2

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    Replies
    1. No, that is not true. If you knew anything about PDs, you would know that many if the symptoms overlap.

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  3. intelligence"s got nothing to do with impuls controle (just ask narc borderlines and even neurotypicals)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. why are you trying to make yourself feel better about your lack of intelligence

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    2. i'm to stupid to know if i am
      wish i was as smart as you

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    3. turning on the charm and pittyplay now that's a sociopath
      good game

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    4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SazBzvQ0ZAM

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  4. I think this post is misguided. There is no socio-path unless there is some sort of path-ology in the picture. Antisocial in some ways does not mean that one is a non-empath or a sociopath. A person who kills someone else is showing some type of pathology because if s/he is an empath she'll live through a life of remorse after that (irrational, impulsive behavior), if s/he is not feeling any remorse then she is either a sociopath or an NPD (a pathologically narcissistic empath or sociopath). In short 'empaths' unless pathological don't kill people.

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  5. I agree that intelligence has nothing to do with impulse control. Sometimes, I actually have a lot of difficulty controlling my impulses.

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    Replies
    1. What impulses do you have a hard time controlling, M Brig?

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    2. Impulses to be destructive

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    3. How would you be destructive, specifically, if you had no repercussions?

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    4. Sceli have you been keeping up with the jodi arias trial??

      check out her performance for the cameras:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6c3-Lwj-kg


      and the defense is temporary ptsd.
      But she has the gloating smiles on the stand, and works that jury for their sympathies,


      Not only that, she totally gets off rattling the lawyers on the stand.

      Diagnosis : ? ? ?

      she brutally, brutally murdered her abusive lover - a mormon preacher, who baptized her, or something!

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    5. @Monica:

      There is someone who I care about and I will sometimes be manipulative and dishonest. But there is no point in doing it with this particular person, so I need to learn to control myself.

      Delete
    6. And don't forget to mention that this person knows the tricks of the trade too.

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    7. M Brig
      What do you get from treating her this? What is the payoff to you? Power? Control?

      Delete
    8. Who said it was a her? And what do I get from this? Something I have never gotten or experienced before

      Delete
  6. Interesting that ME is pretending to be a chick for his book. I guess outing ME become an interesting part of the show come release. It'll benefit him the way I see it...generate publicity

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    Replies
    1. bad move ppl want a sociopath to be a badboy
      and deadly charming like me)

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    2. Charm me, you bad, bad boy!

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  7. Are you guys serious?

    Do you really think, an empath would fight down his need to kill someone out of deep anger, sadness and hate, by being rational? wtf.

    The disfunctional empath brain isn't even able to solve a simple mathematical term while under the full control of emotions.
    Empaths have the most stupid, rediculous and irrational reasons for killing, and if they would be in any kind able to think "rational" before/while/after killing someone, 90% of the homicides wouldn't get solved, because then they would do it the right way.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly. Empaths lives are driven by their emotions. It prevents them from thinking clearly and logically which is why I think that socios are more functional in matters of the mind.

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    2. lawyers are on the cusp.

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    3. Flawed logic no offense. Most violent crimes are commited by people who are either psychopathic and sociopathic and grew up in a poor area where crime is a really easy way to prosper. Rarely are murders caused by emotional outbursts and when they are, a study has shown that half the time they are done by psychopaths. And there are plenty of empaths who are able to control their emotions. I'd even go so far as to say the majority

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    4. Um no, anon 10:23.. Psychopaths only make up about 20% of the prison population. Most of us are too intelligent to get caught. Not able to have our judgement clouded by emotions or to be motivated by he most pointless things.

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    5. Brig, I have noticed that you are very deluded about yourself and seem to understand very little about humans.

      I think that someone hurt you very badly once and now you are in a self-made prison which you have labeled "psychopath".

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    6. That is hilariously incorrect

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    7. M. Brig, psychopaths are 3-4% of the population and you said that they're 20% of the prison population. Do the math and it doesn't look good for "intelligent psychopaths". Speaking of which, many studies have concluded that there is absolutely no correlation between psychopathy and intelligence and that that popular belief is merely a reflection off the media's representation of psychopath's being Hannibal Lecter-esque.

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    8. I was implying that the psychopaths in the 20% are unintelligent because they got caught. And clearly, seeing as psychos/socios have no conscience or desire to abide by predetermined rules of society, they are going to commit crimes.. So that is why the ratio is so disproportionate.

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  8. Yeah, good idea, advertise minecraft on a socio website.

    Fucking idiot.

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  9. anon 9:13, yes, indeed I have been watching jodi arias perform. It is amazing how she deals with questions that are showing her to be the liar. Total no effect, no facial or body expression of shame, just internal processing. Why that trial is taking that long beats me, lousy prosecution is all I can come up with. The woman is enjoying the spotlight.

    Must have been one hell of a shower in there, I wish she came clean and detailed the detailing she has done, lol... Taking down that guy by surprise must have been worth it for her. More Jodi's are needed to equalize the field out there and give guys a sense of not taking their physical power for granted. Two lost souls fighting, who does not want to watch that show...

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  10. This bright, blindingly white background is very distracting, so much in fact, that it renders me completely incapable of contributing my otherwise immensely helpful commentary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nooooooo!!!
      Look what you've done, ME.

      Delete
  11. who will buy more sociopath books girles or boys?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm guessing that middle-aged women would show the most interest.

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    2. The book would be a must read for every special snowflake that chased after assholes, then cried about them being a sociopath when they figured out their asshole just didn't give a fuck about them :)

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    3. For some reason lollipop-face-mask makes me think deep thoughts on Capitalism.

      Delete
  12. I am sorry if I am a drag. I am really struggling.

    I have been really struggling with self destructive urges. I don't know if I am just more aware of them or if they are worse.

    I am hoping that you have one huge onslaught of your PD before you may have it relent on you.

    I think of the recent events. I told my mother where to go, with huge strength. I stood up to the decorator in a strong, mature way. Then, we lost Rich.

    If anyone has any thoughts, I sure would appreciate it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Monica, you've been doing awesome. I was so impressed that you stood up to your mom. Honestly, that was great.

      It's not too surprising that you're having an upswing of urges. That happens when you have stress, even good stress and this is a lot of stress. It doesn't mean you aren't doing well.

      But that anger and destructiveness isn't going to help you much directed at yourself. It takes your power, defeats you and encourages other people to disrespect and abuse you. Did you read what I wrote yesterday to Intimacy about shame and inner demons? That's kind of for you too.

      The good news is this may be the biggest struggle you ever have with your PD. The bad news is that you won't win this victory and forever be cured but you know that. So fight and keep fighting. Rich would want you to...
      QM

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    2. Thank you QM <3
      I need to study what you wrote yesterday. I read it fast but I knew it was very good. I really appreciate your taking the time to respond. I feel better after reading your post.

      Delete
    3. Monica, I think you would feel better of you didn't let other people hurt you or take advantage of you. It's a huge disadvantage to you, trust me.

      Delete
  13. l o l Sceli !!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Twitter Tweets:
    "Payback; I send a letter in his name to newly jailed gang members telling the suspect what a low life they are - using his return address."

    Then we go to that address and find out their most recent enemies and call on YOU!
    signed: Gang Members (do you really think we're that stupid?)

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    Replies
    1. Love everything about!

      Delete
    2. * it
      Stupid phone

      Delete
  15. Monica, sorry I missed the post you wrote about how you stood up to your mom. I am so glad you finally did it. If you don't mind briefly summarizing I'd appreciate it.

    You will see her change attitude soon, I'm pretty sure of it. Stay your ground, let her try to speak to you. I'd call home and if she answers say you want to speak to your dad, calling him by his name, and giving no recognition to your mom. Just to piss her off. Don't show any weakness.

    I don't recall if you ever brought this up but do you have other siblings? I assumed you were her only child for some reason.

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    Replies
    1. I stood up in a blow out way. I said everything I ever wanted to say and figured I would never speak to her again, but now I am doubting myself. I am wondering if I should try to compromise to HAVE a mother or stand my ground to have myself.

      I think I just answered my question. I have to be true to myself. Who wants a continual gaslighter? It is worse than nothing. I have 2 younger brothers.I am the oldest and only girl.

      Thanks Sceli <3

      I really, really appreciate everyone's feedback. I don't feel so alone and crazy, in my own skin.

      Delete
  16. You will have her back. Like I said act like the rest of the family is there except you are not talking to her for a while. Don't withdraw from the others, act like you belong in the family and it is totally cool that you don't need to talk to her. She will want to talk after a while, especially after she does not hear from you on Mother's Day. One day your dad will say 'life is too short, Monica, your mother wants to talk to you.' Then you'll be cool and say 'oh, sure, I'll talk to her.' and you'll keep it cool and calm and only talk as much as the woman needs to, not more, and you will not let the power structre switch back to how it used to be. You will talk when she wants to walk, you'll show no need to initiate any conversation with her. Not easy, but you already have done the most important part, finally. Don't lose the ground you gained.

    As for the brothers. Good chance her relationship with them is totally different. So be it. Don't try to gain anyone's approval for what you have done, don't even discuss with them, talk to them about other things, not your mother.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Sceli. I will do as you say!

      Delete
  17. schizoids have a lot of inner feeling

    Wrong. This person does not sound schizoid.

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    Replies
    1. What's your take on this guy, Ellicit?

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    2. why are you so frustrated Ellicit?

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    3. Don't know. There's not much to go on from the two posts by him. Both posts are full of examples relating to others, so this is a focus and issue that's mportant to him. That isn't schizoid. He talks about experiencing emotion, just unable to express it. That isn't schizoid.

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    4. I don't think there's any agreement among psychologists that schizoids don't feel emotions for others, just look the "covert" column in the "Akhtar's phenomological profile" section of the wikipedia article on schizoid personality disorder, it says that though they are overtly withdrawn and seemingly indifferent, often underneath this is a lot of emotional sensitivity and desire to connect with at least a few others. I think this is also often true of people on the "high-functioning" end of the autism spectrum.

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  18. How could I have come to be this age and not touched hate ? I mean hate in it's maggot infested, blood pustule, kill you until you die and then some hate. It was was supposed to be nice or I thought I would explode like food that is not to be heated beyond a certain temperature or it triggers nuclear war, or some unforeseen shit.

    I believed some manner of lies to see myself so vanilla. If it could have worked, it would have been nice, but when it doesn't work, YOU are the carnage you are trying to walk over or walk around like those tip toeing through through mine fields.

    ReplyDelete
  19. http://pierfrancesconatale.blogspot.it/2014/06/schizoid-girl.html

    ReplyDelete

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