Friday, July 22, 2011

Married to a sociopath (part 2)

I replied:

I think it's really interesting that him being able to see you to your core is a plus in your eyes. Do you think that is atypical for empaths? Don't they like to hide certain parts of them. Isn't that what I sometimes hear marriage self-help types preach? That there should be mystery in marriages? I have sometimes wondered whether that ended some of my relationships. I am always fine seeing people in all their imperfection, but sometimes I think the people I was with were not fine -- did not feel comfortable being laid bare like that.

The reader:
i guess for me, having an addictive personality, i happen to love the intensity that is involved in the constant mind games he can play with me...this is absolute intrigue and mystery...the other aspect i love is that i tend to have a pretty strong personality, a high pressure career that i thrive on and like most modern women, have many balls in the air...I have always been the one in control in relationships. i then tend to resent the shit out of these men that i can control...my husband on the other hand is completely in control and fuck the feminists....this is as it should be...he is dominant sexually, emotionally and pretty much in all aspects of our relationship...i am not exactly a doormat but ultimately, if his logic is sound, i can see his perspective. if it's not sound, and mine is, he will come around to my point of view..slowly, but he will...especially when it comes to how we raise our kids..but he won't admit it for months later,..he is my drug and i love being exposed to him...that to me is what true intimacy is..what a dichotomy...the one person i feel truly intimate with is not capable of feeling true intimacy back...dysfunctional? sure...but it works for us...he knows me and it keeps me on my toes..there is no getting complacent with him...i know if he needs my attention, i damn well better give it to him...i'm sure even my peers would find this shocking but wtf...if you can find a way to get some happiness out of this fucked up world and it just so happens to be a sociopath, i say go for it...there is a reason empaths are attracted to these men or women is that they can make you feel alive...i would rather feel alive and a bit exposed and vulnerable than safe and semi-comatose, which is rampant and what i had with my ex-husband...give me a little emotional danger and you'll have my heart forever...

feel free to publish this..just as an aside, my husband did an interview on aftermath radio talking about his sociopathy...worth a listen...

http://aftermath-surviving-psychopathy.org/radio/?p=297

274 comments:

  1. I think that a lot of relationships that people consider dysfunctional ultimately crash and burn, because it doesn't fit with their fairy-tale image of 'twue wove' (misspelled intentionally). Actually, probably a majority of people who don't have a dysfunctional relationship think the same about theirs. A lot of people are unhappily married because their expectations are too high. They expect to feel 'in love' every single day of their marriage, which is physiologically impossible, because entirely different hormones cause 'being in love with someone' (attraction) and 'wanting to settle down with someone' (attachement). If you're interested, look up "Thr chemical basis of love" on wikipedia.

    (me trying to keep the conversation away from *puke* astrology)

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  2. @Reader:

    You don't sound very sure of yourself. It almost sounds like you've given up on what you really want, and settled for less. Like you know there is something out there that is better, but you're tired of looking, and that your current partner, as difficult as he can be, sticks out from the other men in a way in which they cannot hope to measure up to.

    You've basically traded your dreamy knight in shining armor for a shady black knight. Well, a knight is a knight at least, right?

    Thanks for the link, btw. I thought the interview was pretty shitty and short, but I imagine that calling a Psychopath Recovery show comes with some added pressure.

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  3. @ukan

    Last night went into my scrapbook.

    How did it feel to be force fed your own vomit.

    You talk about others being weak, but you are the weakest of them all. You are the town dunce that thinks he is a king.

    Please make yourself look more stupid.

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  4. Question everything. Learn something. Answer nothing.

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  6. proud of my wife for writing this stuff to M.E.
    maybe it can start a real discussion

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  8. Jason, you fuckwit, you're polluting the comments section with your garbage- will you and Ukan or whoever the fuck else please go and jerk eachother off somewhere else? No one wants to see this constant fuckery between losers comparing their dick sizes, OK? for starters, it might actually help if you pathetic nerds actually GREW a dick first.

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  9. "they can make you feel alive"

    This is what hooked me on my narc-ex. As a product of my disorder, numbness and an intolerable boredom suffuses my life. I'd rather feel something than nothing, and he was good at that. Was it worth it? On occasion. But the cummulative effect was not.

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  11. Emptiness and an intolerance to boredom are products of BPD. I fill my life with hobbies and friends and it helps to an extent but never so much as the rush that comes with something truly turbulent.

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  12. there is a reason empaths are attracted to these men or women is that they can make you feel alive.

    LOL......drama addiction much?

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  13. My ex made me want to rip his balls off and shove them down his throat.

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  14. erin..... dont give me too much praise here.


    my wife is the only person i feel this way about, past relationships always had a tinge of me getting what i needed..... this one, she gets me, and ive found value in that.

    i get bored easily, i drive fast cars.... but i keep the same one till it dies...

    i am faulty and fucked up as a human being ive learned that. it took a long time, that said if there was a cure for sociopathy i wouldnt come near it. i love my mind.


    my relationship is solid cause i get more out of it than ive ever been able to get out of another.... i love her cause ive wanted her for years. and still do, and she is just crazy enough to keep me entertained lol.

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  16. I don't want to set the world on fire...
    I just want to start a flame in your heart...
    In my heart I have but one desire
    And that one is you no other will do.

    I've lost all ambition for wordly acclaim
    I just want to be the one you'd love
    And with your admission that you'd feel the same
    I'll have reach the goal I'm dreaming of believe me!

    I don't want to set the world on fire...

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  18. erin..... i hate drama.... dont like it at all.... she has a love hate relationship with it.... but most of it comes once a month.

    and i dont feed it when she bleeds, not from cuts.

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  20. RADIO POST SUMMARIZED PART 1July 22, 2011 at 6:16 AM

    RADIO POST SUMMARIZED PART 1


    William believes he is a high functioning sociopath, let's try to get inside his head.
    William defines high functioning as intelligent enough to see negative consequences of actions and staying out of trouble, and low functioning as a serial killer, robber, someone who does not see things as not being in their best interest.

    There was not just one moment of realization that he was a sociopath, instead starting at six, attempting suicide, thinking everything messed up. Taken to a psychologist, did not speak to others, little interest in having friends, involved in violence, always a bit different. At eight stabbed a kid in the hand using a scalpel, not thinking anything of it, or thinking 'why wouldn't I?'

    Given increased risk taking, substance abuse (he was an heroin addict), over-worker, etc. did that cause any health problems? No, only because good genetics, and luck, he says. Was self-medicating with heroin, grew up in the drug culture, reading, the ability to quit was directly related to my ability to disconnect due to my being a sociopath, I realized it is not in my best interest, he says.

    Did very poorly in structured school, was obsessed with learning, but did not do well. I have a very narrow focus and anything outside that is irrelevant to me, he says.

    Left home at a very early age. Told mom and step father that it was time to leave, at the age of 13, they laughed with disbelief but he left, and feels close to mom only because (she may not exactly be a sociopath but) she is the closest. Not that he calls her every week. They are out of sight, out of mind, not burdened with the emotion, 'if they are not OK, I'd hear about them, why bother calling often' he says.

    He is a business owner, has a compulsion to be the best he can be, refuses to be compared to other people, to prevent that he induces stuff so there is no way to even compare. He may be over-charging but that is ok; he is in the segment that is the top of the top and there is a challenge there and he charges accordingly, he is exceptionally good at it. 'I'd hire nothing but a sociopath,' he says. He does not worry about getting screwed, 'the only reason I'd worry is ego, because they'd be competing with mine,' he says.

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  21. Erin, to distinguish a lie from the truth, you must first understand that there is no truth.
    This is just the way i think, my nihilist thinking tells me it works like this, and this works for me.
    Find whatever works for you.

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  22. RADIO POST SUMMARIZED PART 2July 22, 2011 at 6:17 AM

    RADIO POST SUMMARIZED PART 2


    Ten and a half years in prison. A nonviolent crime that should have let him out in 18 months but he misbehaved in the prison. Was thrown in with the ultraviolent. Four of these years he kept fighting these guys. Then was considered a security threat, put in 4.5 years of isolated fashion. He learned to thrive in that environment, controlled an area of the prison and he was not even a gang member.

    He has two children that he says he loves. The psychologist says one difficulty the children of sociopaths may have is being neglectful or not giving the child autonomy. He is far more the care giver in the sense that he provides, there is a roof and food and micro-management, he says. A little bit micro-managing, engrained in him because he grew up on his own. Not give autonomy to anyone. His wife helps with arguing about things, stressful but helpful. The psychologist suggests that he figures out what would be the benefit to him in giving the children their autonomy? He says he does love his partner, was honest with her about his condition, he is doing his best in regards to understanding but 'as someone missing empathy my attitude is to fix problems rather than listen to them,' he says.

    Yes, sociopaths can kill, murder, rob, but they have to want to. There are sociopaths who just want to be left alone to run their life, they don't have violent desires.

    'William is bounced from all my theories,' the psychologist says. 'Social drive to prey on others is more important than lack of empathy or conscience. He does not have that prey instinct. This disorder is such a spectrum. People ask me 'Should I divorce my partner who has this condition?' That is not a question we can answer for you. How much damage is being done to you is what should really determine more than the diagnosis of your partner as a sociopath. This could be the best case for you, don't leave just because everyone else is saying you should.'

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  23. @RadioPostSummarized
    Thank you for that


    Anon 6:17
    I am a Born Again Christian with a real relationship with Jesus not the Sunday morning, pie baking and sewing circle stuff.
    This is life or death for me.
    I take it very seriously . Any strength I have is from that.

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  24. So adorable...
    Then you are dead already. I hope you enjoy paradise.

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  25. I posted the interviews as a gift to the young unwed socios and old unwed socio-lovers. Enjoy the hope that comes with it.

    @justabadpeny...
    Given socios don't like drama I find giving yourself the title of Just a Bad Penny quite dramatic.

    What is questionable also is your first take of killing yourself because you were different, that also is more dramatic than wanting to kill others.

    Why do you suppose you felt you should be the one punished? Or, did you feel the world was not a good/fun/interesting enough place for you to bother?

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  27. @Radio guy

    This is the mistake I think most people make with sociopaths.

    They think that all of them are the same. They all are broken in the same exact way. They fail to see that all sociopaths are unique. All of them are broken in a different way, and some are worse then others.

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  28. "There are sociopaths who just want to be left alone to run their life, they don't have violent desires"

    Lol complete bullshit. When you can't internalize blame there will always be violence.

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  29. Erin, i do not believe in the existence of an afterlife.

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  30. "High functioning sociopaths" providing they even exist, don't get anywhere.

    Violence and callousness are the very means of control.

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  31. @anonymous 6:37

    Not really, it's not solely about internalizing blame, that is a complete misrepresentation of the spectrum.

    It's about the absence or miniature presence of empathy.

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  32. You can't conquer a nation with peace.

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  33. Humans and humanity broken, not just usJuly 22, 2011 at 6:41 AM

    I am under the impression that not only sociopaths, not only humans, but humanity in general is broken.

    Humanity has become narcissist because what is on paper and what is in reality is totally different. There is that narcissistic gap all around us. Top and bottom are too far apart, we need to learn to lift everyone up slowly but surely as opposed to exciting the bottom with the hope of reaching the top overnight while intoxicating/drugging them to make sure they can't function well. The school system is failing the sociopath who has a lot of potential. Need a different curriculum for every segment of every country.

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  35. If you have a girlfriend/wife or children or even a friend that won't do your bidding what is the easiest thing to do? Physically punish them, of course.

    Don't give me that nonsense that you will get a reputation of being a bully, how can you, when the very basis of your family life is secrecy and fear?

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  36. Violence and callousness are the very means of control.



    Only a low functioning idiot would think that....lol

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  37. A person who uses violence is an idiot? It goes to show you illogical you are, the only reason you fail to use violence is because you have empathy, but you would call it something else wouldn't you? Like high functioning lol

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  38. "You can't conquer a nation with peace."

    Because we only make peace with the enemy.
    If there was no enemy, there would be no need to make peace.

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  39. so tnp is erin. not a surprise.

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  40. Profile of a high functionerJuly 22, 2011 at 6:55 AM

    Has empathy, but is still a psychopath.

    Never uses violence.

    Feels bad when he slaps his girlfriend.

    Prefers the philosophies of mother Teresa over Stalin.

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  41. the only reason you fail to use violence is because you have empathy.




    Empathy has nothing to do with it.
    Your just a retard...lol

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  42. Erin: I don’t feel like I’m about to fall off the world, though occasionally I want to fling myself from it. With my narc-ex there was a sense of panic that my world would fall back to the maddening numbness without him, that the world would no longer be worthwhile without him. I always knew my world would continue to revolve but there was a sense of the anxious unknown and I couldn’t conceptualize of feeling whole or happy without this one thing that I wanted so bad or felt completed me. I may have been seconds away from annhiliation but it was dependent on him. Those were the times I wanted to escape or change or make things better. They spun me out and spun me down, and oh yes, I felt alive, but in a way that a drowning victim gasps for air and clings to the frantic feeling of living life as the currents are about to pull you under. I was never prone to hiding but I do tend to hermit and he pulled me out into the world.

    I learned my lessons. I’ll never be in that situation again. I am much stronger for having been through and surviving such a thing. Looking back I want nothing more than to snap his neck and spit on his grave.

    I’ve had theories of that yin/yang before as well.

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  43. I find the use of physical violence as a way to control others, not efficient.
    Using psychological violence, fear, terror will make people also more aware in your presence, driving attentions to you.
    But i guess we all have our own ways and methods to reach whatever end we want.

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  44. "Empathy has nothing to do with it."

    What is the reason then? Sociopaths use violence to control, it has nothing to do with some personal defect.

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  45. "I find the use of physical violence as a way to control others, not efficient.
    Using psychological violence, fear, terror will make people also more aware in your presence, driving attentions to you.
    But i guess we all have our own ways and methods to reach whatever end we want."

    A question for you, how much authority do you have in your household? I bet you have barely any. How do you manipulate your environment?

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  46. I don't know what this is about sociopaths not loving drama. I love dram and upset. I thrive on it and It gives me a rush. I kick up shitstorms for fun.

    I Do think that some sociopaths function at a higher level than others. But alot of the people here or who have been here, call themselves high functioning sociopaths because of the way they feel instead of the way they act. Being unemotional doesn't mean you're a sociopath. Some people make up their own version of sociopathy and then use the high functioning label to justify why they don't act much different than a normal person. Not everyone who uses violence is an idiot either.

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  47. In a household that is equal, you take and you give. If you can put fear into your partner, you have the gift of being able to take without giving.

    What good does it do to give back to others? It's a waste of time and money.

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  48. Well i live alone so.

    "How do you manipulate your environment?"

    It depends on the situation, i like the "good-hearted" people, i show kindness and am a giver, till they are so absorbed into thinking i wouldn't do anything wrong or bad, then i have got the advantage, and when i do, i take all i give back.
    Works pretty much like a busyness first you invest, then if you can run the busyness, you make profit.
    Of course i also use violence, it is just not my first option.

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  49. Not everyone who uses violence is an idiot either.



    Did you have violent parents,Mis?

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  50. CORRECTION: 7:13
    and when i do, i take it all back.

    Still learning English.

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  52. "Of course i also use violence, it is just not my first option."

    I never said it was my first option, I just claimed it's the most powerful tool. Violence and emotional abuse can turn a woman into a wreck pretty fast.

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  53. My dad was violent towards me until grew bigger than him and eventually I got back at him.

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  54. I bet you obeyed him for a long time Misanthrope, right?

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  56. Your mother never stood up for you?

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  57. It takes a big man to beat up a woman.

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  58. It takes a sentimental man to have sentiments.

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  59. "I never said it was my first option, I just claimed it's the most powerful tool. Violence and emotional abuse can turn a woman into a wreck pretty fast."

    Yes, excuse for assuming it was, i think we all have our favourite technics being those the ones we use most, anyway i totally agree with you for obvious reasons.

    Erin,i told many times before, i know you Erin.
    Oh Erin you are just adorable, always were.

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  60. "It takes a big man to beat up a woman."

    Are you one of those super tough guys that only fight people your own size?

    I bet you were that idiot in school that helped the bullied kids fight back, your sentiments are pathetic.

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  62. I never obeyed him and that's what pissed him off so much. I was always out getting into trouble and the beatings never stopped me. When I was 14 he couldn't beat me anymore. When I was 16 I turned the tables and beat the shit of him. Then I took control over the household until I had to leave when I was 17. My mother was mostly a useless woman who went along with whatever my dad said.

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  64. Do you now have qualms about not beating up your children, Misanthrope?

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  65. I don't have children.

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  66. If you did? I know normal people that have been abused would think "I'm going to treat my children good because what happened me blah blah" but a sociopath would think "I don't really care, if i abuse them i abuse them"

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  67. I bet you were that idiot in school that helped the bullied kids fight back, your sentiments are pathetic.




    How many socio's were bullied at school?

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  68. Not able you already stuck your finger in the blender don't deny it. The only person who believes you is jason who already called someone a total idiot for believing erins real. This is the second attempt you've made a creating a fake person to trump your name and been caught. Its truely pathetic.

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  69. "How many socio's were bullied at school?"

    Not many, maybe teased. Sociopaths don't take abuse.

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  70. "How many socio's were bullied at school?"

    Only once.

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  71. Are you one of those super tough guys that only fight people your own size?


    lol....you have no idea.

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  72. People using violence doesn't make them low functioning. Stalin killed millions and he was no fool. He ran a country that went from fedualsim to becoming neck to neck as the greatest superpower in the world. What you are suggesting is hippy idealism at best, kindergarted teacher idealogy at worse.

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  73. How many socio's were bullied by parents?

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  74. "People using violence doesn't make them low functioning. Stalin killed millions and he was no fool. He ran a country that went from fedualsim to becoming neck to neck as the greatest superpower in the world. What you are suggesting is hippy idealism at best, kindergarted teacher idealogy at worse."

    I agree.

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  75. Stalin personally killed millions?

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  76. "Stalin personally killed millions?"

    Obviously not you dummy, but he endorsed violence.

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  77. I don't know how I'd rais my children. If I had one and he screwd up I might give him a smack. I doubt I'd abuse my child just for the sake of it though. I'd try to make him just like me.

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  78. suk this fat 1 faggots.

    8======D

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  79. this is the author of the post..it seems the anons that post don't know shit about sociopathy. socios don't connect even at a young age. they can be ostracized, teased, bullied and they don't understand what is different about them that they aren't like others...they can retreat further into their heads, their fantasy life, their outlet...whatever that is..clearly, socios are not one size fits all ...socios can have kids and yes, even care for them ..and socios that survive into adulthood can develop tools to not bring their worlds crashing down around them...not because they can't stand drama but because they have a vested interest in keeping things together...after rebuilding over and over, it gets tired and another trip back from zero gets harder and harder... i think the older a socio gets, a more adept they can become at using techniques they develop to have some stability.. they have been around long enough to know they are not impervious to serious consequences. if there is anything a socio is is a survivor, it is just stupid to keep creating drama cuz that chaos affects the socio, not just those anyone around them..it is in their own self-interest, it is calculated, it is smart.

    to soulfulpath..thanks for the kind works yesterday..

    to noteable...i haven't settled, not wistful...i finally feel like i'm home...and post on your blog more often..

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  80. suk this fat 1 faggots.

    8======D



    You would like that, wouldn't you?
    Hmmmmmm

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  82. thanks...i feel very lucky..

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  83. "they don't understand what is different about them that they aren't like others"

    So your husbands not a sociopath?

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  84. ..it seems the anons that post don't know shit about sociopathy.




    Socio anons don't know shit about sociopathy.

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  85. Not all violence is smart.

    It depends on the type of violence. There is controlled purposeful violence, and then there is uncontrolled impulsive violence.

    Controlled violence can make people bend over backwards for you. Unrestrained temper tantrums make you look like an idiot that needs to be thrown behind a cell with the key stashed away in some dudes pocket.

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  86. mis..that was in response to some idiot anon saying that socios can't be bullied at school...as kids, no they don't understand why they are different...i think these are lonely kids, not robots..they may respond with violence, they may retreat inwardly..or both..but yes, they can and do get bullied...

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  87. Some socio's are bullied and some are the bullies, go figure.

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  88. I agree with you Jason. Not all violence is created equal.

    I've had to become something of a master of my temper in RL because unrestrained violence only works to destroy the goals I set out to accomplish.

    Some purposefully directed rage every now and again can be a greaet release though.

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  89. The word which is best for dissection from today's post is INTIMACY. Why do people assume intimacy is a feeling? How do those with skewed empathy systems experience intimacy? To this spectrum intimacy is a verb; an action. Think about it, any interaction with a close associate fits this description. Intimacy is not about kindness, it's about engagement.

    EVEN WARFARE. Especially sparing. Even fucking with people. Remember its done in association with others. Yesterday's antics was one big intimacy dance. Think about it . . .

    Smart people just know that there is a status quo which needs to be maintained at a certain level or the game is just a house of burning cards with you burning along inside it. The payoff for kind acts of intimacy is more enduring. And sometimes resting in pleasure is just more restorative than constant combat.

    And both pain and pleasure are just we call a relationship.

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  90. Rage of TV who can't connectJuly 22, 2011 at 8:54 AM

    @haven

    The cost of that great release is the bunch who saw you in it and made up their minds accordingly.

    I know one brilliant gal who occasionally goes into a rage, who also gets startled very easily and screams out loud in public. Guess what... She needs to keep finding people who don't know her or retreat. Luckily a husband who does not give a damn and is focused in his own world can still put up with her bs.

    COntrol that stupid rage. Watch some chimpanzees go in rage to get a feel for how others see you when you are in rage. DOn't trust what you think you see on their faces when you go into a rage. It is not fear of you what hey have on their face it is that shock of seeing a human act like a chimpanzee and fear for where the humanity is headed.

    All the info access, all the free education, nothing can reach when you are born with mal-functioning reception, I suppose.

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  91. soulful...that was beautifully written but i don;t necessarily agree. yesterday was just a game..no one being real, slinging bullshit that really have nothing to do with what i would call intimacy. intimacy is a verb, your;e right but is is not engaging based on posturing and one-upsmanship. it is to me, feeling vulnerable to be real in the presence of another and know that to your core, you are accepted and loved.. no posing, no masks...it comes in moments...certainly we have to put masks on to deal with the world..but true intimacy is sharing your deepest darkest secrets, fears, fantasies and moments (or weeks) of crazy and someone accepting that as just part of the package...actually, not just accepting it, but embracing it..that is the action of true intimacy

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  92. BETTE BLU, yes fuck the feminists. Once they are taken into emotional depths with a dominate lover, they would change their tune. Ever read the repetitive plot lines of romance novels. Bingo.

    JUST A BAD PENNY, listening to your wife regarding your children is not a loss of power, just slow ears to logic which you did not invent yourself. I praise your courage to be honest and uncover your blind spots. I think you have discovered you gain more power in this flexibility which is what you are seeking in the first place. And thriving, well adjusted children.

    And to the both of you. Keep the faith. Your living on uncharted waters. And at the same time you both embody a timeless story of love, survival and surrender.

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  93. Bette Blue "but true intimacy is sharing your deepest darkest secrets, fears, fantasies and moments . . . actually, not just accepting it, but embracing it..that is the action of true intimacy"

    TRUE. But this motley crew has to practice somewhere.
    Why do you think they keep coming back here.

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  96. Sociopaths don't retreat inwardly. They externalize. If sociopaths are bullied they will respond violently. The lack of impulse control and the need for power gives them no choice. If they have a violent childhood they will be extremely prone to impulsive violence because that is what they've learned to use to obtain power over others.
    This is the main kicker here. There is no normal sociopath who is 'high functioning' walking around with edgey views and sarcastic speech. Sociopaths manipulate, have low impulse control, and their main focus is obtaining power over others. Those are inescapable traits.

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  97. Justabadpenny, I have an ex-lover who claims he is lacks empathy. He also says he is a sex addict.

    He once told me that the crazier a woman is (psycho, think he put it ..hardee har har) the more attracted he is to her.

    I was "in love" with him, so I think. He told me years earlier he didn't want to hurt me when his boredom would eventually set in. Yep, an honest one.

    Now he says he should have married me because I have such low expectations from relationships, in general. Oh well.

    I've been round the block with lots of "selfish" men. I like them. I know how I am. I'm selfish too. I also need lots of space.

    Erin, you might consider using less commas when you write. It makes you sound like an imbecile. No offence.

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  100. How would Ukan ,Jason and TNP, etc respond to the concept they are doing a little intimacy dance with each other?

    Ukan: Fist in wall.
    Jason: Becomes aroused.
    TNP: Smirks.
    Kesu: Palm to forehead.
    Misanthrope: Profanity followed by deep thought.

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  101. soulful, that was great...

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  102. having said that, I change my name like yours

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  103. Anyone care to ruin someone in real life?

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  104. Soulful i hope a serial killer murders you.

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  105. Soulful you are quite wonderful.

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  106. Rip( no one kicks me out of my house)July 22, 2011 at 10:45 AM

    Anyone wanna hang out in my basement. My house is being fumigated but the exterminators don't know I'm down here. I have a pool table

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  107. Interesting thread when it isn't being derailed. I am new to this blog but devouring it voraciously (no predator reference intended), as I am in a strange relationship with a sociopath.

    I am 20+ years older than him, but there was an initial physical attraction that has morphed into something more. Once I figured out what his issues were, the ebb and flow of the relationship all made sense. (I live in a Latin American country, and he is Latino, which I suspect made the seduction phase easier for him and more difficult for me, an empath, to spot--perhaps a topic for a separate post.)

    The fact that I'm onto him and can "spar" with him now, I think makes him more intrigued but sort of paralyzed too. He's not threatened by me, but he has told me he's never met a woman like me. I keep him on his toes, and he keeps me interested--a symbiotic (if a fucked up) relationship, but one I sense he trusts.

    At first, I was just attracted to him for casual sex, and him to me for... whatever his game was (I think relief from boredom, maybe sex and ego, too). I don't think either of us expected to discover what we did about each other. Only time will tell if it's interesting enough to him and satisfying enough to me to keep it going. I guess if winning is his overriding goal, he will move on to someone he can conquer. Frankly, I think he is contemplating how to up the ante with me.

    Anyway, that's the long version of saying I can relate to the topic and appreciate the honesty of the OP and her mate. Virtually every other source out there on the Internet paints sociopaths with one broad brush. Traits in common? Yes, many, but why is there such ignorance about the spectrum of disorder and its interplay with individual personality? Too much emphasis on B/W thinking and a desire to define "normal?"

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  108. anyone watching the whales on national geographic now? 3 m long, skinniest d.ck with 2000 pounds of b.lls, short hind legs hidden in the back....

    anyone moved?

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  110. see, an uber empath can be funny too

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  111. Thebitch, I would be honored.

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  113. Well I have one dear friend I want to call child services on so they take her daughter away. I have another lovely friend who I want to lose her boyfriend, home, job, and expose her to everyone she knows. Doesn't it sound fun?

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  115. It sure does. What is it exactly you want help with? Do you need ideas?

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  116. Beepers can be pretty funny, narcissists are just boring. Who wants to be around someone that can only talk about themselves?

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  117. ukan = thebitch

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  118. this is justabadpenny....

    i picked my name after my favorite song.....

    my wife hasnt settled, its an immense amount of work to be my partner....

    i was uber violent as a child.... i tried suicide for alot of reasons..... i was six, thought like a 20 year old and hated everthing around me.

    i think all of you can learn alot by me and my wifes lives now. we deal with major issues daily.... we dont coast....

    violent actions are still part of me. i just know when i can get away with them and when i cant now.there are so many ways to control a situation.

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  119. "i think all of you can learn alot by me and my wifes lives now"

    stfu faggot

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  120. in fact i'll bust a cap in your dumbass face if you don't shut up. stupid motherfucker, fuck what you think. next will be some other stupid fucking remark from some other dickhead who thinks he's smart.

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  121. Yeah. I had someone hang out with the second one to then later sleep him him. After a few weeks my lovely friend found out and her boyfriend cut it with the girl.(Mayor fucking piss off) So now Im doing a fake profile on a social network to see if I can convince her with time to send me naked pictures of herself to then send to her boyfriend.

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  122. cool it erin you post too much.

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  123. yeah its fucking boring for a uberslut

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  124. I dont understand what you need help with, thebitch.
    Jason stop making guesses on who I personify in here. You lack understanding of what my motives are, so you can not precipitate my moves. You are not even a pawn. You are a spectator watching the game.

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  125. On what else to do if that fails or takes too long.

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  126. Tell me about the targets. As much as you can.

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  127. The William guy sounds like a borderline personality, trying to commit suicide at 6? Addicted to heroin? He sounds like a nerd.

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  128. He's also a terrible speaker, which isn't normal for sociopaths.

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  129. UKan you should call into that show, the will guy gave us a bad name.

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  130. I bet the radio hosts are thinking at the end "no way is this loser a psychopath"

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  131. Okay the one with the kid had her young and collects foodstamps. She lives with her babys father and both spend atleast $100 on pot with her husband every other week.(got the information from a close friend of hers) She works at a factory and recently found out she's going back to school. She gained alot of weight and has low selfesteem. She's really shy, dark skin, about 5'6. I know where she lives and her landlord is her father's boss. The other is light, about 5'2, loud, immature. A huge slut but loves to play the good girl role. She started going back to school and I'm currently trying to find where she works at. She tries to embarrass people but is really insecure. Her family moved away and she stayed living with a family member. Now she lives with her boyfriend at her boyfriend mom's house due to some issues with the family member. She was really ugly when younger now she lost the glasses and thinks she can get anyone. I did notice her envy towards me and call her my shadow. She tries to do everything I do. So to get under her skin I would brag about anything and everything I could to make her feel like the worthless trash she is. Now I'm bored and need to do some real damage. e lives with her babys father and both spend atleast $100 on pot with her husband every other week.(got the information from a close friend of hers) She works at a factory and recently found out she's going back to school. She gained alot of weight and has low selfesteem. She's really shy, dark skin, about 5'6. I know where she lives and her landlord is her father's boss. The other is light, about 5'2, loud, immature. A huge slut but loves to play the good girl role. She started going back to school and I'm currently trying to find where she works at. She tries to embarrass people but is really insecure. Her family moved away and she stayed living with a family member. Now she lives with her boyfriend at her boyfriend mom's house due to some issues with the family member. She was really ugly when younger now she lost the glasses and thinks she can get anyone. I did notice her envy towards me and call her my shadow. She tries to do everything I do. So to get under her skin I would brag about anything and everything I could to make her feel like the worthless trash she is. Now I'm bored and need to do some real damage.

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  132. My stupid phone fucked the post up wtf?

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  133. im not a psychopath, i am a sociopath, and i think arguing over who is and who isnt is unentertaining. you have no clue of my history or thought process, ive been just like ukan, ive been silly in my threats, serious but ultimately silly. do the time in prison, see the horrors, then decide where you want to go, i now make lots of money, have a decent life where i can afford to act how i please, i live in a controlled environment where i get what i want out out of it.


    the whole point of this entire exchange was to give hope to the few socio's that want more than the norm for us, i have by my own code and control created my ideal. plain and simple. im not a 18 year old confused internet warrior, i am a sociopath looking to deal with the outside world on my terms but not doing harm to MYSELF ergo i do my best not to harm others cause i know better now after 30 years of practice

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  134. What does harming others have to do with not harming yourself.

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  135. You aren't a sociopath you moron. You were nervous as fuck through the hole interview and you have the charisma of a wet sock. Wannabes like you are disgusting. You treat your kids and wife good because you are an empath trying to be a bad man.

    Through the whole interview you kept spewing pathetic terms that we hear constantly on this blog.

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  136. what goes around comes around.

    those who live by the sword.

    all that lark.

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  137. So he is saying it is some type of Karmic retribution? Seems silly.

    Though I do share his ability to just quit things.

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  138. kesu.... harming others in any serious way lands you in prison..... i would say that is harmful to the self....

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  139. So it isn't harming others that is the problem. It is getting caught. So I would say just don't get caught.

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  140. as i stated above.... if i can get away with it i do..... if it doesnt risk my goals. used to be i would never consider the end game goal.... id just stab you

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  141. u stabbed a dude in the hand with a scalpel when you were 8......stfu nobody cares.

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  142. ive stabbed lots of people.... but that isnt the point is it.


    the point of this entire event was to show a socio relationship that has found a way to work.

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  143. See that sounds so much better. Why not just say that?

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  144. You aren't a sociopath, you are so bad that Robert hare would dominate you in a conversation.

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  146. kesu.... why not just say that....well i run a business, have a family and i try hard to now walk around talking about stabbing people..... seems stupid... and i dont have to stab anyone anymore, i can generaly make someone piss themselves by looking 'off'

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  147. I guarantee you if you were evaluated by a psychologist he would find that you weren't a sociopath, that is a guarantee.

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  148. if you were evaluated by a psychiatric they would find that you're a faggot.

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  149. I fail to see your point. You came on as an anon. Why not just let it fly for fun and shock value. We all get a kick out shock value. Put on a show. Drama is fun. Sure we all like different levels of it but nonetheless we all love the stuff.

    I also liked the section how you would hire nothing but sociopaths. That made me laugh. I mean come on. If you had all socios you would have constant back stabbing and pissing matches all the time. They would all fuck with the numbers and try to take more. There is no way to have a group function if it is just sociopaths. We all want control of that group and are willing to fight for it. So you just have endless fighting.

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  150. imagine if ukan, misanthrope, kesu, tnp, and badpenny all worked at the same company.....

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  151. To whoever said that sociopaths externalize and are violent:

    What about the white collar ones spoke about in 'snakes in suits'.

    I mean come on, one outburst in a corporate setting would be devastating to the socio.

    Imagine a worker came up to the corporate socio and disrespected him severely. How would he respond. We have to imagine that he has low impulse control.

    Would his natural affinity toward externalizing lead him to strike the worker? Think in terms of the biggest disrespect done to you.

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  152. That's why most sociopaths don't make it in business.

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  153. How and why would you ruin people who have already ruined their lives? Sounds like somebodys boyfriend has been out sampling the local womenfolk.
    The details I need are the relationships they have with the people you want to divide them from.

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  154. Hardly. You just find a way to fuck with the person constantly. Make their life hell. You get revenge and you didn't make a scene. It happens all the time. It is called being under handed.

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  155. This is a better interview about psychopathy @ 25:00 minutes in.

    http://aftermath-surviving-psychopathy.org/radio/?p=268

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  156. "I know where she lives and her landlord is her father's boss."

    There is your in. Don't go straight at her. Go for the father.

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  157. @Person kesu responded to

    I hope you know what you are signing up for. You have to dedicate time to gathering intel on the father and possibly landlord, which may involve some form of stalking.

    Are you sure you don't want to take the empath route and 'live and forget', hold hands, and kumbaya?

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  158. ugggh....shut up jason.

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  159. why?
    Fun. I enjoy it.

    relationships

    Well they are both friends.(many years) I want to separate them from echother. Then separate them from their boyfriends who they 'adore'. Also ruining their image to their families and friends.

    how?

    The first girl's parents don't know she smokes. They are very old fashion and close to her. Them being dissapointed and eventually cutting communication with her will crush her.

    Second girl being exposed to her boyfriend will get her dumped and homeless. Then her boyfriend(or most likely myself) will fwd the pictures to a few of her close friends. Causing embarrassement to the point of isolating herself completely or even moving. Then I'll take whatever in her bank account and ruin her credit.

    btw I'm currently in the prosses of ruining a guy for trying to mess with me. Got a few thousands out of him already. Will cancel his stupid gym membership(completely obssesed about). Everyone thinks he's a great kid with good morals but I found a few dirty secrets. The beauty of it I bumped into him at the beach last Sunday ha.

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  160. Kesu continue. What do you suggest I do to her father?

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  161. Here is the entire thing. You can fuck over both the girl and the dad if you go for the boss. I'm guessing the boss is an older man. I'm hoping for you about 50. That would be ideal. Basically you just need to get him under your thumb. The best way of course is sex. I'm guessing you are attractive and if he is older he will jump at a younger woman. I'm also assuming you are in your 20s. If you can start a romantic relationship with him you should be able to blackmail(I'm guessing he is probably married). You can get him to fuck with the daddy. That will be painful for the girl. If she is close. Of course you get him fired and her thrown on the street. Getting her kicked out will take some vandalism from you probably. Break a window put a hole in a wall. That way he can have reason to kick them out. Just an idea for yah.

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  162. waste her dad, then waste her. simple.

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  163. Thank you for your idea Kesu. And yes I am attractive but I usually get someone else to do the sex job for me. I can't afford my name to get a bad rep around here ;) I do find the 'offer money then take money away when you do the job' pretty effective.

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  165. @Bitch but honestly it is so hard to work through proxy. In this scenario you are working through 2 proxies very safe for you. Hell you can play the supportive friend. Which is fucking ridiculously fun. That way you can be right there as they cry about their life going to shit and they don't know why.

    Also with the boss you can always just use a fake name. Getting someone to do something that goes against their very nature specially in older men has to do with a lot of accuracy. Also some gas lighting. If you do do it please keep me updated. I do so love story time.

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  166. I'm learning to just go straight to the comment section now. I'm actually a little surprised you people haven't gotten completely bored with yourselves already.

    When I'm done with my day, I try to sift through all this bullshit, hoping to find a few decent comments about the blog, and all I get is the same 'ol rattle.
    Moving on....

    @Reader
    I'm glad you and your husband decided to come forward with this. And despite the fact that there are many who only come here to spear their egos all over a public forum; I believe you picked the right place to tell your story.

    You have given me something to really think about, and possibly hope for myself. Coming from someone who has tried to deny my own diagnosis from the age of 16, when I felt I was too young for them to know for sure what I was.

    I've come a long way since then, but it's been a roller coaster of blind rage, and as one person who knows me well said: "Living life synthetically". I realize now that, as much as it kills my pride to admit it, the doctors of my youth, may have been right about me all along. And if I had listened to them sooner, and realized what made me tick; I may have tried to get my life under control before now. Maybe even understood what kind of partner I should have been looking for.

    I think you are truly a remarkable pair, and I solute you both for tailoring your life to get your needs met, on your own terms.
    Know that what you have will not be something we can all hope for... too much ignorance about disorders in general. But it does give a burning ember of could be.

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  167. fuck off then eden.

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  169. M.E. & Reader,

    in my experience most empaths want exactly that: For you to know them to the core.

    There're many levels in why it is so, some has to do with how they see love (or how love really is), some has to do with there being a special kind of safety or sense of security when you know your spouse always know what you feel and think.

    For me this has always been a central aspect of how empaths love me, and I like it that way too, of course. It's what I do, after all, it's part of gaining control.

    There is security in being controlled. That's why we often attract 'co-dependents'. I think they can be lovely!... '^L^,

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  170. hey zhawq! you're a faggot!

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  171. @Zwhaq

    Its why so many teenage girls love twilight.

    The ones who I find love twilight are the weakest ones.

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  172. @Jason

    Yes.

    Unlike you I don't get tossed around.

    @Erin

    You can say both, but the 2nd tried and failed. Two applies more though. The first girl didn't do anything to me the other just annoys me.
    Now, now you dont know me astro girl. Don't judge me. ;)

    @Kesu

    I have for some time. I got both to talk about each other and tell me things about each. I cut complete communication for some time. Ive been going out with some other friends. So when I do what I do they wont suspect anything.

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  173. Misanthrope 7:09

    Well said! So much people overlook conveniently. ;)

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  174. Anon 6:49

    "so tnp is erin. not a surprise."

    Come again? LMAO
    That's a very funny idea, but I don't buy it.

    ... haha.

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  177. justabadpenny,

    ignore those idiots. As you can tell they donj't know what they're trying to discuss with you, so why bother?

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  178. Erin

    "@Zhawq
    TNP is not me. Man, you guys are so conspiracy hungry :)"

    Why thank you for re-stating my statement.
    We're really conspiracy hungry? Just talk to me, I'm one person! ;)


    TheBitch,

    You can't be genuine. What you're talking about here doesn't need any advice.
    If you can't figure this out without asking for advice then I'm afraid I'll have to say your future as a people ruining expert looks grim. haha

    But sure, have fun, and good luck with it!... xD

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  179. Ah like paynutbutta!

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  180. As there are extroverts and introverts, there could be extrovert sociopaths, and introvert sociopaths?

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  181. @Zhawq I asked for other ideas not advise. I know most here are older and experienced sweetheart.

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  182. What do you guys think about cannabis?

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  183. Use it to much it makes you stupid. Other than that. It's what ever. Good for a fun time.

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  184. I can't read all this, but hello and you stupid intelligent lonely confused robot fuckers.

    Good to see TNP and UKan going at it again, though I have no idea what the issue is this time. I assume it's the same as always.

    Soulful is right. Intimidation is an action, not a feeling.

    Same with love.

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  185. Uh, I meant intimacy. WTF was that slip.

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  187. @Erin

    you contribute a lot to this blog :).

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  189. I'm thinking of starting my own blog.

    Any ideas?

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  190. Medusa welcome back.
    Thebitch. Don't really understand what advice you need. If you are really following through with that you're saying and have done what you say you've done than its pretty much in the bag.

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