Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Civility

I'm back from vacation. I thought once of the cleverest lines of seduction I heard while traveling came from a street food stall vendor who asked me where one of my companions was from. I answered in the native language and got the following response, "there are lots of beautiful people there." I thought it was such a clever hidden compliment and that companion was beyond pleased.

I was also surprised at how little effort was put into trying to get me and my companions to do certain things. One brazen man, in a particular seedy part of the city, just walked up to us with his hand extended while he was crossing the street opposite us. What did he think the chances of us giving him money were?

I noticed that my empath travel companions responded almost equally well to vinegar as they did honey, but only at first. They quickly started feeling emotionally manipulated and then shut down almost completely against the natives, even going so far as to argue over small perceived slights in service and to count their change rudely in front of store owners, while I was handing my money over in both hands with a small bow of respect. Just for kicks, I guess. Or because I usually think that to be openly hostile is a tactic best reserved for a more narrow set of circumstances.

I'll write about the books I've been reading tomorrow.

259 comments:

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  2. say something interesting cunt.

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  4. Erin, I have a few questions.

    What did your mother exactly do to you?

    What do you plan to be instead of being a fake with a huge smiling mask ?

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  7. The subtlety in that vendors 'compliment' is very amusing to me. I use tactics like that often, especially when someone wants to be seen as a friend, but I don't consider them one. Often I think of it as just being tactful. If someone is ugly, you don't tell them they're ugly in public, you redirect the response to a similar topic while maintaining eye contact with the person you're engaging so they feel it's about them.

    Lie with your eyes, not with your lips.

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  8. Erin, if you had cancer, you would get it treated and when it's gone you would be a survivor. You wouldn't hold onto it and just let it grow.

    You need to get that poison from the past out before it kills anymore of your life. And I don't mean by telling it here you said all you need to, to people who would explot it.

    You were a victum now your a survivor. If you can't confront your mother with it, tell a close family member and if thats not possible or you already have done that, find a group for that on the internet.

    Making yourself into someone thats whole means finding enjoyable things that intrest you and doing them. Finding people who enjoy your company and you enjoy their's.

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  10. Well Erin, you say that you want to not be afraid of yourself and yet you are doubtful of telling us what your mother did to you. If you only tell what you have inside to some people that you choose, it means that you are expecting a certain reaction or answer to what you are. If you want to be everything you can be you must not avoid interactions with people who you think they might hurt you.

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  12. Erin, didn't you already tell in another post?

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  14. why is empaths so boring?

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  15. cause they don't use the verbs right.

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  16. Anonymous you have the subtlety of a oil rig crashing through a nitro glycerin plant.

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  17. you too ukan, you too.

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  18. L.

    O.

    L.


    @Erin
    True Anon
    I will tell you when I feel ready. Right now, I feel a little exposed --so to speak on THIS thread about M.E's trip lol

    July 12, 2011 7:46 AM

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  19. @Haven

    You seem to be putting a bit too much work into wearing a mask when you don't need one.

    I mean its not like you have no capacity to form attachments, there is no need for you to cover something that doesn't need covering.

    I am going to be completely honest, but you come across sometimes as wanting to believe you need to mask something evil, in order skirt the real problem.

    :)

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  20. ",virgin territory, you could say :)"

    I think your mother took that away. Did she at least video tape it? If she did can you upload it to motherless?

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  21. If wearing a mask to cover something evil or whatever makes a sociopath then 90 percent of the society is a sociopath. Everybody wears a mask. That's what morals is based on. Faking and mimicking pleasantries so that other people like you. Everybody does that.

    The sociopath masks feelings of anger and frustration. That's the difference.

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  22. @anon 8:38

    the sociopath masks the fact that he/she doesn't have a conscious.

    People mask anger frustration all the time.

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  24. @Erin

    You won't be in virgin territory unless you show some tits.

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  27. "If someone is ugly, you don't tell them they're ugly in public,"

    Like hell you don't. Afterwards you smile and look them straight in the eye as they feel that mixture of embarrassment and anger. Everyone else gets to feel that feeling of shock, internal laughter(Because they were thinking it too), and some embarrassment for that person. Good times good times.

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  28. @Erin

    I'm not sexually interested in 10 year old prepubescent girls.I have no desire to talk dirty to you.

    You just need to prove your virginity.

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  29. @Erin just be honest. You liked it when your mother rubbed your little bitty pink spot.

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  30. "I'm not sexually interested in 10 year old prepubescent girls.I have no desire to talk dirty to you."

    I am and I will talk dirty.

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  33. O no. So it isn't so. You won't be my friend? How did you know my weakness? I so need your friendship. Please accept me. ACCEPT ME YOU WHORE BEFORE I STUFF MORE OBJECTS THAN YOUR MOTHER DID INSIDE YOU! Please. I just want your love. I will truly be grateful.

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  36. @Erin

    We all know you get off to photos of your mom.

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  37. @Jason... I'm not really putting that much effort into things. I actually have a very difficult time forming attachments with my dissociative condition. My default setting is to want to tell people exactly what's on my mind regardless of their feelings and that is precisely the wrong way to go about attempting to form attachments. I don't have much compassion for the population at large, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea to be incredibly vocal about it.

    Kesu, heehee, some days. some days. Not generally if I want to keep my social circle in tact though.

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  39. I lurve my manias. So much fun to be had.

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  40. Have any of you tried memorizing things using associations?

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  42. Shut up Erin. You Like to be treated like a little slut. Slapped in the face and then forced onto all fours with a gag securely in place. Just remember you are to be seen not heard.

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  44. @Erin

    I can gag you on a higher level then you deserve you little slut

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  46. Am I woman enough? We all know after you face fucked your mother you have a lezzy streak.

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  48. @Erin

    you don't even deserve me.

    You are to just be fucked. Not heard

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  50. @kesu

    We don't exist. Everything we experience is just a subjective reality.

    We have a body, but we are not our bodies. Our bodies are our expression.

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  51. @Kesu, it's not a BPD trait but I get hypomanic on occasion. It's also possible to be BPD and BP co-morbid. My pdoc is treating me like I'm bipolar II - though I am not diagnosed as such - it's just my observation with his med treatments and such. So it's not unheard of.

    How often do you go manic?

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  52. You two's attempt to cause anguish is laughable at best. Not only are you ineffective, but you put her defenses up so she's not vulnerable anymore. Now nobody can have any fun. For once id like to see you so called sociopaths cause some REAL mental damage on someone instead of juvenielle jokes you hear from children on the playground.

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  53. ^How da fuck does that answer my question? Yes or no on the manias? You know what fuck it and fuck you. I'm asking google.

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  54. O shit that last comment was ment for jason.

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  55. WTF Kesu? Yes. Someone with BPD can have mania, but it's probably due to a different disorder like being also BPD and bipolar.

    Or a spaz =P

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  56. lmfao, Haven has a lover.

    Two Haven's with blogger accounts.

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  57. Personally not very often haven. My manias tend to come after sever pro-longed depressions. It's kinda like my brain was hoarding serotonin and dopamine during the depression than it says LET THE PEOPLE EAT CAKE! The flood gates open and I'm this destructive little fuck with no impulse control whose moving at the speed at light. I can feel it revving up for such an event. This is just the beginning.

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  58. 'Or a spaz'

    lol



    Hey Kesu, i detect a little mania in you right now.

    lol. good luck with that.

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  59. It's a fun ride. You should join me. There is a reason they say the sociopath traits have to be present when a person is not in a mania.

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  60. I'm totally blank right now which means I'm completely mutable. I'll play haha. I enjoy a good ride ;) What's first on the playlist?

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  62. why does sociapaths have stupid traits?

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  64. "There're so many beautiful people there!"

    I use it regularly, but I mean it when I say it. Maybe that's part of the reason it works so well?

    It's nice to hear from someone who is "from around here" that you like this line!... '^L^,

    I'll be looking forward to hear about the books you've read. Maybe you have some good suggestions?

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  65. So Kesu---do you have mania and depression?

    Jah. I'm bi-polar.

    @Haven the first part is as always to get completely and utterly wasted and high. After that who the hell knows. Who the hell cares? Everything will be on impulse. However if it is a good night I can assure you something will be caught on fire.

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  67. UKan Beco DependentJuly 12, 2011 at 10:54 AM

    Don't think I'm sticking up for you erin, there's few here I don't look at with distain and your not one of them. I just hate the fact I have to lurk here some more before someone comes in and puts their dark secrets on here for me to play games with.

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  70. Erin,
    "Talking like a 10 year old moron does not float my boat."

    Lol. Well said! ;)

    Welcome to. This is a good website with a lot of good info for normal people and sociopaths and psychopaths and borderliners and even aspergers folk, all kinds of minorities that aren't well of with monotonous mainstream life. You can learn a lot here.

    Funny that, many of the moronic 10 yr olds you'll have coming at your throat started out much in the same way. Most people are insecure when they arrive in new territory, and this place is one that sometimes attract badass wannabees.

    My advice to you is to ignore those who only have negative stuff to say with no real useful truth to it.

    There're those who can seem harsh but who have genuine stuff to share. I think you'll figure out who is what.

    Good luck ahead!... '^L^,


    UKan
    "Now nobody can have any fun."

    The grand work of the typical kid trolls. Ain't it grand? What would we do without them?

    We'd have fun, goddamit!

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  72. "I just hate the fact I have to lurk here some more before someone comes in and puts their dark secrets on here for me to play games with."

    I feel with ya. Really, I do. Ah well, life's so damn unfair! ;)

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  74. Kesu, Jason, so coarse with our new charge, don't gag the child, let her speak.  Erin dear, do you feel this this pain needs to be taken from you?  You seem afraid to surrender your damage; are you looking for someone to force  it from you, just as you claim your innocence was stripped?  Maybe that is why you are asking the anonymous, unwashed, uncut etc to wrestle you.

    I wonder if holding it for so all these years it has made you special, here you're using it to get attention.  You seem to feel that you're different, that your damage  has some novelty?  In the unlikely event that there is any honesty in your story--  We should find out how ordinary and empty you will be (or how much lighter) without the wound that has come to define you. 

    To review: you have stated rather unbelievably that your shrink mother molested you, your narc husband molested your son who later killed himself and that you feel with your CELLS that 'your' socio is your mother...you have also expressed a fear of abandonment, that you would be left like 'yesterday's news'.  What an interesting way to define yourself: as a headline, a fleeting grasp for attention.  Is Erin just a headline or is she real, does she have substance? Perhaps we should find out.

    Either you are a total liar or you will have to speak for  your truth and earn your deliverance.  If you do not tell, then you'll never be real and you know that I'm telling you the truth. You're a psychic. 

     After that, Jason & Kesu will take you for ice cream or have you, whatever they prefer. Lucky girl! 

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  75. Shutup zwaq, you fat fucking sausage. Hopefully you can stay on the wagon long enough to get skinny on the streets instead of in prison. You are natures mistake. A dope fiend. I wipe my feet on people like you so my house doesn't get dirty.

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  76. Ukans mom is not mep

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  79. @Kesu sounds like a good f-ing time to me. Let's burn the town down, er, paint it red, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. Hahaha.


    Heh, Erin you're a counselor? Looks like we're gonna have to throw down for resident Beeper here. I'm willing to bet I can take you.

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  81. Actually I would like credit for that. Well written. That's a great impression of me, and that's more of the approach I was looking for out of those monkies jason and kesu. You need to dig deep, not fling shit you chimps.

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  83. The way I figured it out. Well I was instituted for a little while so I was diagnosed with Bi-polar(Which I most certainly am). They also gave us a list of our traits. I have no empathy, grandiose sense of self, emotional manipulative, etc. Now I was young when I was diagnosed and I of course never told them about the things I had done. Just the things that had happened to me. I was also diagnosed with emotional detachment. So in all honesty I didn't care for the longest time. I was called evil, sociopath, cruel, malicious, and things of that general nature. In fact through out high school I was called Satan by a lot of people because of my incredible ability to make people do things that they would normally never do. I have a very strong toxic affect. Eventually curiosity took hold and I started investigating my traits. Which led me to my self diagnosis. I kept researching though. I came across another disorder which in all honesty I think I'm more likely to have. R.A.D(Reactive Attachment Disorder). The traits can come out and look like sociopathy. I also have the hyper-vigilance that goes with it and not the sociopathy. It also fits with my childhood (or should I say infancy?) perfectly.

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  86. @Ukan if I wanted to dig deep I would play nice first. The problem with making someone cry over the internet is the fact that you can't see it.

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  90. "I bet I could take you apart Astrologically Speaking ;)"

    This makes zero sense, but begging you certainly will be.

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  91. BAH! My antics are playful are worst. If you want to crush someone you have to get close to do that. I have no intention of getting close.

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  94. I think Erin's a socio playing beeper.

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  95. @Haven

    Erin is a troll pretending to be Erin Pavlina from the steve pavlina site.

    She already said it wasn't her.

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  98. Talk about a lot of effort. Hahahaha. Thanks.

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  99. @Haven

    Shortly before the Erin account was made, Erin Pavlina(the real one not associated with this one) got a hate filled email message.

    So this person I guess is trying to defame the real one, or gets some thrill off of pretending to be someone else on the internet, which is pathetic.

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  103. Take a comical approach with this one guys.

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  104. I'm just Bored Now. Oh well.

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  106. I think its the casual approach M.E is taking with his posts lately.

    Its more of him talking about things in general, then him opening the floor for discussion on an abstract part of Psychopathy/sociopathy.

    Might have to do with him being in vacation mode.

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  107. So there is nothing else to you Erin, no more honesty, nothing else to contribute.  As suspected.  Just keep licking that cone dear.

    I trust we won't hear from you unless you have something substantial to say?  hhhmmmmmm.  

    That's good.  Show mummy you care.      When mummy's finished, then  She'll change your nappie.

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  109. >.> I am currently eating a carrot... There might be some truth to what you say.

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  111. I am. I really am. Now gimme money!

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  113. @Jason sitcom basic cable comical. Jazz it up with some stars!

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  114. @Erin

    You are so full of shit. You come in here as if you were dangling a piece of raw meat in front of pack of wolves; hoping for a bite. I suppose I should congratulate you on that; they bit.

    You type like a twelve year old boy, playing at being a girl with a fake accent.

    Your story is weak at best. A clear attempt at fishing for attention. You make wide claims that are geared toward getting a rise.

    You are transparent. Step up your game.

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  117. @Erin

    Hmm, no. You aren't worth the effort to click a little circle. I'm not biting, you simply aren't worth it.

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  119. @Erin everyone is here to fuck with you.

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  121. You don't roll over or bite...hmmm Do you do anything other than bark, sit at least, or maybe play dead?

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  122. @kesu

    saying 'with' requires that its consensual and pleasurable.

    We are just fucking her.

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  124. Yes kesu & jason. we all remind her of mums. She likes it now, just as she did then.

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  126. @Animal Psychic;

    I'm pretty good at whipping my ass on the carpet.

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  127. @Erin

    If you just wanted to talk to someone, you may have come to the wrong place.

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  130. Sure Erin. I have a little bit of sand in my vagina currently. How do you get it out when you get sand in yours? Or can I safely assume that you haven't gotten it out?

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  131. @Erin

    What exactly do you want people here to talk about. This is what the discussion usually is.

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  132. @kesu

    Your mom is suppose to clean it out.

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  133. Awww. That explain what all that molesting was with Erin.

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  136. Bi-valve PsychicJuly 12, 2011 at 1:54 PM

    Live with it Kesu, it will one day become a pearl.

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  138. @Erin

    So then what did you expect. Some intelligent honest conversation from this. You started the comments in a style that painted a big bulls eye on you. In a since you get what you pay for.

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  139. why is all the conversation in me?

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  141. @parker

    Currently we are talking about how to get sand out of vaginas.

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  142. @Erin

    So you fell for a sociopath. You need to give up more information than that about the situation if you want a conversation.

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  143. @Jason

    I find my tongue works pretty well for that.

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  145. @Gutter.

    You must be a super spath cause my minds always in you.

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  146. MY PUSSY IS SO RED AND SWOLLEN RIGHT NOW!

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  147. My advice: Avoid the beach. Less chance of crabs too.

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  149. @Erin

    Have you tried using viagra

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  151. @Haven But they taste so good with butter.

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  154. Buttery and sandy vaginas.

    TASTY!

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  155. @Erin

    Okay so he was perfect. Then what.

    @Haven

    Lol

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  156. Is it ok for your penis to touch your vagina? Because some times mine touch.

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  158. Hey Erin, did you tell the story about your mother molesting you yet ? If so tell me at what time so I can read it. You're a doll.

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  159. Vaginas, sans crabs are tasty.

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  163. @Erin

    Use this to clean your vagina.

    ....................../´¯/)
    ....................,/¯../
    .................../..../
    ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
    ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
    ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
    .........\.................'...../
    ..........''...\.......... _.·´
    ............\..............(
    ..............\.............\...

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  164. @Erin

    So you want to be a sociopath?

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  166. Furthermore, if you felt so good around this guy why do you think he was a sociopath. Need I remind you of yesterday's post with this link

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  168. @Erin

    Okay first he was/is mirroring what you wanted. If you want to be more sociopathic you need to start by not caring what others think of you.

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  171. @Haven

    Lets brainstorm for your next post.

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  172. @Erin

    Do you know what the experience project is? If you have an account over there, my username is ParkerM. Real time instant messaging is easier than this crap.

    Not that I don't enjoy vaginas and their corresponding jokes. But you seem like you want a real coversation.

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  174. How can coldness and tenderness exist at the same time? Very easy. You can show/give a person exactly what they want when you have no emotional tie to them. If your emotions aren't getting in the way then you can show whatever emotion you need or want to show. Because I know how to make you feel good I know how to make you hurt. Pain is often just the absence of something that was a constant pleasure.

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  175. @Jason.. Oh? I'm down haha. It's gotta be about sex though. I'd been thinking about explaining Engulfment or talking about why I operate better in poly relationships. What do you think?

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  178. @Erin

    Its free and has an instant messenger. I'll checking for you on there. So we can continue this conversation.

    @Haven i'm a big fan of vaginas but this poly relationship things sounds like fun

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  180. @Erin

    We know what cues to use to make you think you have touched us. It's part of seduction.

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  181. Well engulfment is when you become fully attached in a relationship.

    It can be both a good thing, and a bad thing, depending on who gets engulfed.

    If you were to get engulfed, it would destroy your entire game. Given that you are prone to mania and mood-swings, becoming engulfed could be quite lethal.

    Now if the man becomes engulfed, you can suck the life out of him.

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  185. lol look i don't use my hotmail for anything but the messenger. revcml @ hotmail dot com

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  187. Engulfment with BPD is an unhealthy level of fully attached. If I become engulfed with someone it borders on obsession. This has only happened twice and it's utterly devastating.

    I think if someone where to be engulfed by us, with us, (not us being fully attached) it would drive someone with BPD away b/c they'd be incredibly smothered and feel like they were losing htemselves to the relationship. I know it sounds like a contradiction but it's the whole Push-Pull thing. We're a little wacky like that.

    I think understanding the nature of the obsessive tendency is interesting though.

    @Parker... the poly thing is fun... especially when you don't have ot feel guilty about lovin' and leavin' b/c you know they have another gf to take care of them. hahah

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  189. I had a threesome once with two other girls. ah good times. They both were all pissy later, and blamed me. Still don't know why. Might be part of that whole unable to feel guilt thing.

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