Tuesday, June 28, 2011

More thoughts on the pleasure of power

I initially started thinking about power after talking to a friend about what I get out of a seduction. When I responded power, my friend asked me what is so great about power? As I started to explain, I realized that at a meta level, I actually didn't know what about power I find so appealing. I told my friend that I have to interact with people anyway, and so I would rather it always be on my terms. My friend wasn't satisfied with the answer and neither was I.

I could also say that my brain must be wired to reward power the same way that is is wire to reward eating, sleeping, and other "positive" bodily functions, but did it come that way? Or did I train it to have some sort of pavlovian response, the same way I could maybe train myself to especially crave gambling or other habitual thrills. But power is a special thrill, right? Take a straightforward thrill like riding in a speeding car. Isn't it more pleasurable to be the driver? And what is the difference there but power and control? I don't know. It's odd because I can blithely but truthfully say that I am most driven by the pursuit of power, but I still don't quite know why.

128 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. lol

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V5fOqZYdmE

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  3. Frank's just given up. lololol

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  4. In the end, her dx. didn't matter.

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  5. Interesting, i think that power is a feeling, pretty much like freedom, you feel it, but it doesnt really exist, its an illusion created by yourself, maybe it is not power that you get out of a seduction but something else...

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  6. Clarification: One Aspergerian demon can f@#$ some s@#$ up too. Just a little.

    Watch me. :)

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  7. ^FAGS^ suck this 8========D

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  8. It could be argued that all species are driven by the pursuit of power, for reasons of survival, the relevant parts of the brain having been hard-wired during a period spanning 75 to 0.5 millions years ago (Primates to Homo Sapiens respectively). Power is so strongly correlated to eating that the brain finds it almost indistinguishable.

    If this is true, it begs the question: why isn't everyone pursuing power? The answer might be that they do not have the wherewithal to do so. Those who are physically or intellectually superiour invariably exercise ther superiority in pursuit of power.

    Ordinary people pursue power when the opportunity presents itself. This is well illustrated by The Standford Prison Experiments (http://www.prisonexp.org/). But also, daily news reports continually yield crime stories where someone takes an opportunity to pursue power within a household or relationship. Just watch Jerry Springer to witness it, in al its theatricality.

    Power means eating first.

    ***

    As an afterthought, though slightly tangential, check out John Gray's book Straw Dogs which has some interesting things to say about humans as animals.

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  9. MHT/TNP Does one gain more power by hoarding and eating first or giving a banquet for one's enemies? Perhaps empathy is an energetic morsel shared from the spoils. God forbid we surround ourselves with hungry toys.

    Power is creative, erotic, competitive, follows laws and breaks them all. Power is invisible yet you know when its in a room or not. Infantile power drives based on deficiencies or need are not power, that compensation.

    It feels good.

    Love an empathy is a power. (Oh did I say a bad word)

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  10. when i have power it feels like things are the way they are meant to be. it's satisfying. even if at the end of the day it's only perception (as Jesus above more or less said) .

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  11. i meant power as in control over others. for me it's not about the need to control as much as the need not to be controlled. if i'm in control i'm not being controlled.

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  12. Zoe, so then power is an illusional alignment which one feels.
    Well stated. Perhaps that is why humans with low frequency feeling mechanisms strive for power. It's something they can actually feel.

    One trick which is very similar I will share is moving into "subtlety." Gratitude for the small moments. Like you said, the feeling of alignment being satisfying. We cannot change many things yet our perceptions always.

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  13. if it dun make money it dun mke snse

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  14. Guys, I've left a comment for ya at yesterday's article's comment thread.

    Potens, if you see this, there's one for you too. It won't stay though, I'm deleting it later.

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  15. THM,

    I don't think its so mysterious why people are driven to gain power.

    Power equals survival.

    What you witness at present: People having power fights within their own family, is merely a symptom of our time.
    When cultural structure begins to weaken and "meaning" largely has disappeared, it becomes a natural "fight" for survival, and it is natural that it comes to expression the way it does when the individual isn't aware of what drives them.

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  16. M.E., it isn't strange that you're driven by power!

    Power is the one most significant factor in survival. And you say it yourself: When things happen on your terms, you can influence events in your favor and in the favor of those who are good for you. Furthermore, you can use it to get others do what may be less healthy, more stressful, less fun and more tedious, you can get more pleasure easier, and you will be the first to survive (if you really do have power, that is).

    Don't you see, it's not strange at all!

    If your friend is still with you, try put my statement forth to them; could be fun to hear how they'll respond!... '^L^,

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  17. Rip( the guy that's dead but keeps commenting)June 28, 2011 at 7:01 PM

    I miss being Rip

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  18. God I hope summer ends quickly.

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  19. the statement that sociopaths are more charming than an average person is false. in truth they are no more charming than an average guy. the nice guy charm and a hidden life as a killer makes people remark "oh he seemed so nice" the sociopath i knew was not any desirable than you or i, but he seems very nice when you consider the fact that the same person that went out of his way to help a stranger with a flat tire is also the man who has been accused recently of a string of rapes.

    a monsters display of niceness seems more worth mentioning because it's harder to comprehend, plus people are dumb.

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  20. Anyone want to tell me what empathy is and what it feels like. I realized I have no idea what it is so I cant tell if it applies to me.

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  21. Why is power so great?
    The short version. Because power is power.

    The long version because we evolutionary geared to gain power so that our genes will have highest change to survive. The will to power is why we do what we do.

    Sociopaths are beyond good and evil. I do not waste my time with pity. I have the will to power both creatively to overcome nihilism. I rebel against morality and moral codes. I am Nietzsche's Ubermensch. I am the super man.

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  22. "Consciousness is the last and latest development of the organic and hence also what is most unfinished and unstrong. consciousness gives rise to countless errors that lead an animal or man to perish sooner than necessary..... Not mankind but superman is the goal. The very last thing a sensible man would undertake is to improve mankind, mankind does not improve and it does not exist, it is an abstraction and all that exists is an ant-hill of individuals."

    Nietzsche

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  23. I need power because I know I deserve it, I know I can wield it, and I know I can do it better than the people who currently have it. Complacency breeds laziness, which is why all who sit at the top one day fall to the ambitious below them, unless they're batshit nuts, paranoid, and put in enough safeguards.

    Do you see the connection?

    Top CEOs, tyrants, politicians, crime lords, and law enforcement, as well as all other seats of power are held the longest by the most ruthless and power hungry, the most capable of adaption, and those who will kill (literally and or figuratively) to keep that power.

    I see a need for change that has to start at the top, and I did everything in my power to get there. Now that I'm here, the view is dizzying, and the fall is steep, but I have no intention of falling. I only wish I could split into more full sentient bodies and into more seats of power to get more and more power and rule more and more facets of life than simply one. The greed and hunger never end. That's why conquerors don't stop once they've reclaimed their own land.

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  24. well i am not a sociapath and i am not intersted in power or topling power like a sociapath so whatever

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  25. I wish I could rule the world

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  26. mydeathspace.com

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  27. Sort of cool site about random people who died all sorts of deaths, you can even look at their myspace page.

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  28. Anon 7:14,

    interesting... I hope. I'll definitely take a look.

    Soulful,

    Thank you for your line to me yesterday! I appreciate it!... '^L^,


    Notable,
    law enforcement, as well as all other seats of power are held the longest by the most ruthless and power hungry

    Oh you better believe people can see a connection. It's part of the reason they hate us so!

    I only wish I could split into more full sentient bodies

    That's why you won't get real power. You wish too much and wishing never got anybody anything!... '^L^,

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  29. "That's why you won't get real power."

    note's in a much higher position than you, deadbeat.

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  30. @Zhawq but no one will play with me and I'm bored.

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  31. Splitting into sentienceJune 29, 2011 at 8:49 AM

    Check yes for organ donation. Now that I have resolved your regularly scheduled challenge, I am going to return to ruling the world.

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  32. 'Rip( the guy that's dead but keeps commenting) said...

    I miss being Rip'


    lol! I think i love u. :D


    Ugh, i'm having a bad day. People suck. No more else to add to that really. Have a nice day.

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  33. Does anyone ever think that maybe there is a mental defect in kindness?

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  34. @kesu: Kindness, as altruism, goes against gathering the resources required for one's own fit survival. Many people do get a positive kick from doing good; the kick they get from looking good is higher. I experience most altruists as narcissists hunting for image maintenance & supply (for their appearance has power). While there is something to be said for the utility of reciprocity, Self abnegating kindness is a far greater aberration than self interest. It is however what some would say distinguishes humanity from animals.


    I do on occasion find it a mental defect, the province of a limited sheep who is a person of some low station, content with their station and reliant on the generosity of others.

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  35. Kesu is having a bad day too.

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  36. @Kesu you had a virtuoso bit on seduction. Subjects are kept at arms length, and you move forward (to embrace) or back (allowing them a fall) predicated on your objective and Dominant will. Reductivist & Stunning. *Hugs Kesu*

    *wiping off*

    I find power an without a subject too broad. It is predicated on objective and will. Kesu any ideas on power so raw as your Oscar worthy bit on seduction?

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  37. @Soulful, what is in retrograde?

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  38. What is really striking in this conversational thread about sociopathic power is that the sociopath naturally assumes that he/she has the only right to power and only on his/her terms. Unfortunately, this type of narcissistic thinking is typically the pitfall of the sociopath. There are plenty of other ways to wield power, and plenty of people that have used such power to moderate the inclinations of the sociopath.

    -- Enlightenment

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  39. ^FAGS^ suck this 8========D

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  40. Ohhhhhh.... (slowly dying), what a powerful infliction of a mortal wound. :Q

    -- Enlightenment

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  41. I tend to choose friends that are amoral, in a sense we can feed off each others (or a group) negative energy. It's nice having a couple of guys as friends that don't care either. You can do some really fun shit that you couldn't do alone. Gang beat downs, coersion, robberies.

    I would advise every sociopath to associate yourself with a gang, even if you don't want to do serious crime (i don't) you get protection for nothing. It doens't matter if you don't care about the other members, i guarantee that all the others care about your safety, act like you care.

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  42. At least until you encounter the two other sociopaths in the gang that will con you into being an accessory to a robbery or murder and then leave you at the scene to take the rap.

    -- Enlightenment

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  43. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iJi5S89XxA

    hilarious

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  44. "Kesu any ideas on power so raw as your Oscar worthy bit on seduction?"

    No.

    Power is a transient thing. Yes it feels great to have it. It feels worse to lose it. The time when we lose it is usually when we think we have it in absolution.

    At least that is the way it has been for me. So over my life I've learned that you can never think it is a permanent state. You always have to be looking for the next usurper.

    Power, fame(infamy), acceptance. They are all linked. Closely. The most destructive force on people is acceptance. Sounds strange, no? With acceptance people are free to act the way they want. It isn't a good thing for people either. When someone gains to much acceptance they generally go ape shit. Look at Micheal Jackson. So many other artists go through the same thing. Why? Because we accept their behavior. So no one stops them from doing it. Socio natural go to these extremes but we are limited by the masks we wear. Though the end goal is to not have to wear the mask and thus be unlimited.

    Why are sociopath's attracted to power? Power is control. Control is safety. I personally think that sociopaths have an over active self preservation instinct. We have the me against the world attitude, the extremely high adaption rate, the willingness to do whatever we have to to live, a hatred of weakness, and we only care about our lives. Now that drive gets twisted and forms into our debaucheries but in it's pure state that is what I think it is. I know when I am not in control and it can affect me I'm nervous. Things don't feel right for me. I can't give myself over to someone's control. Everything in me rebels and goes frantic. I have the feeling of being a caged animal. So I'm focused on getting the keys to my cage and pushing someone else in it in my stead.

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  45. I need to fart.

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  46. ^EXTREME FAGGOT^

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  47. BTW I WAS TALKING TO THAT FAGGOT KESU HAHAHAHAHA FAGS LIKE THAT MADE THIS PLACE BORING LOL

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  48. @Kesu: I commented on something similar a few months before you came around, Kesu. It seems pretty sound to me. I think most learned and instinctual behavior is linked to survival needs.

    @Zhawq: You cheeky monkey! How dare you! ;) Yes, I have big aspirations, but I'm not just wishing. I am doing something about it. As far as splitting into other bodies, sadly I doubt I'll see something like that outside of science fiction :(

    The sad thing is, if it were possible, I can totally see my clones killing off each other to try and gain more power for themselves >.>

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  49. So I was searching around and I came across a little know disorder. Here are the symptoms:

    •Intense control battles, very bossy and argumentative; defiance and anger
    •Resists affection on parental terms
    •Lack of eye contact, especially with parents - will look into your eyes when lying
    •Manipulative - superficially charming and engaging
    •Indiscriminately affectionate with strangers
    •Poor peer relationships
    •Steals
    •Lies about the obvious
    •Lack of conscience - shows no remorse
    •Destructive to property, self and/or others
    •Lack of impulse control
    •Hypervigilant/Hyperactive
    •Learning lags/delays
    •Speech and language problems
    •Incessant chatter and/or questions
    •Inappropriately demanding and/or clingy
    •Food issues - hordes, gorges, refuses to eat, eats strange things, hides food
    •Fascinated with fire, blood, gore, weapons, evil
    •Very concerned about tiny hurts but brushes off big hurts
    •Parents appear hostile and angry
    •The child was neglected and/or physically abused in the first three years of life

    It is called attachment disorder. Hyperviligance is the state of having ones survival instinct kicked up into high gear.

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  50. We are power.

    We just want to activate it or deactivate it for some semblance of creative control. When we experience our own reflection (power) we want more.

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  51. Note, so many clones so little time . . .

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  52. RAD isn't so much little known as it is little researched. Also, most of the so-called traits you listed are not diagnostic traits. The ICD-10 and DSM-IV only have a very small handful each, and their broadness is probably why there is so little known about it.

    Narcissism, ASPD, and Sociopathy both have roots in childhood neglect as well, and some would argue Psychopathy does too. That's probably why you see some overlap. The brain handles neglect and abuse in early childhood by severing certain connections and augmenting others in order to adapt, the result would not be vastly different per disorder/ailment, if anything, you would see a lot of overlap.

    Soulfulpath, it's a damn shame. It really is. What I really want is something akin to clones that are in the Venture Brothers, this way whenever I'd get offed, or die of old age, I'd have a fresh meatbag waiting for me.

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  53. @Note Yeah. I just thought it was interesting all the overlap. Plus the hyperviligance was something I was just talking about.

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  54. why does malignant narcissism seem worse than psychopathy if it's meant to be lower down on the spectrum? in some articles it actually says 'evil is malignant narcissism'.

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  55. "It's nice having a couple of guys as friends that don't care either. You can do some really fun shit that you couldn't do alone."

    yeah, cuz as faggots you can dick each other.

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  56. Well, although I can see why you might think it is interesting, I don't find it at all that strange. A wound is a wound, however it was inflicted. Either way, the body is going to try to heal it in the most efficient way possible and it doesn't give a damn about the long-term damage that it causes because of it.

    Not very much is known about the Antisocial spectrum, mostly just surface level research and medical brain scans. Quite a bit less is known about RAD. I'd be wary about where you get your information on the subject. A lot of info out there on it are lists compiled from concerned parents who throw in every observation they have about their kid and throw empirical data to the wind.

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  57. @Note Yeah I am noticing that. It is hard to find any information that isn't from the mother of an adopted Romanian child.

    I find some on what it looks like it in adults on it is the same list(more or less) as S/P just broken up into 3 different categories. Avoidant, Ambiguous, and Disorganized.

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  58. If anything, it's a convenient disorder to flaunt if you're in a situation where it might be convenient to use, or a necessity. Plus, the acronym is fucking rad, I mean, seriously. Who wants to be an sociopath when you can be totally RAD instead?

    In my book, sociopathy and psychopathy require genetic proclivity towards their disorders, whereas I see narcissism and aspd as straight up damage, as well as RAD. RAD in my book is the pure form of neglect and abuse for a child with no other strings attached. In that essence, I don't see it as a pathology so much as I see it as a permanent reaction. There are no real damaging attributes of RAD that makes the person disruptive to society, simply, offbeat and hyper-vigilant. I don't see that as a disorder, I see that as a survivor.

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  59. "disruptive to society"

    these fukin' 'paths just got to go.

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  60. i largely hate people, and i think it's because of the 'paths we always hear about in the news, and the extreme atrocities they commit.

    neo-hitler wants to use surgical tactics to secretly waste 'paths.

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  61. 'neo-hitler wants to use surgical tactics to secretly waste 'paths.'

    Fine, we get it, stop ranting about it and get to work already you slacker.

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  62. Note, Kesu, Zhwag and Wet took their smart pills today. Imagine if you combined all that brain power into making money you could finance elevating the universe. Oh, excuse me, this is the altruistic think tank.

    M.E.:Hmm I think I will start a blog and while I'm on vacation my fan base will do all the research on my book contract. Ahhhh such power . . .

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  63. Email me your dealer's cellphone number. I'm clearly missing out on the good shit.

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  64. FAGGOT:

    Coined in the victorian era, this term comes from the practice in British Public Schools of making the students do menial tasks such as gathering the sticks to make Faggots, which were used instead of logs. These menial tasks became known as "Faggot-work", and it was the lowest of the low socially that typically were made to do these tasks. These boys were often physically weak as well, and were left open to sexual advances from other boys or teachers with little or recourse to refuse.

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  65. Is this child a sociopath? They make an excuse for her in the end and say that she had RAD, as she was trying to kill her parents and had killed some pets. I think she is a sociopath, there is something very evil about the girl. In the end of the video she learned that her behavior was unacceptable, still doesn't mean she thought it was wrong.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ME2wmFunCjU

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  66. I notice a lot of parents say their kids have RAD when they are displaying psychopathic symptoms.

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  67. 1-800-IM POWER. Ask for Guru Buddha Manifesto. He set you up real good.

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  68. She is lying about the abuse she suffered to justify the animal killings and trying to kill.

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  69. "She is lying about the abuse she suffered to justify the animal killings and trying to kill."

    She is 6 you ass hat. Trust me when you have trauma you can remember it. It really does play like an endless movie reel in your head.

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  70. Wow, it goes to show how idiotic empaths are, they believe they can change a monster with "treatment" did anyone ever tell them that every single serial murderer that went to prison was a model prisoner and well liked. The girl is has no conscience she is laughing at their sentiments inside.

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  71. So you don't think the girl is a psychopath? Lots of children get traumatized and they don't go on a rampage killing people and animals. You are the kind of person who would get duped by this master manipulator.

    Did you listen to part 3 when the woman says "in the past because she didn't have a conscience, she didn't feel anything when she did something bad, now she does feel bad and it shows in her face" HOLY FUCK! How fucking naive are people?

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  72. I was talking to the conspiracy theorist Anon, Soulful. Jeesh, someone didn't take her Smart Pills today. Check timestamps.

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  73. my mother is a monstrous bitch. I realize this more everyday. Fuck, i do feel for men...

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  74. What is your stance on that child notme, psychopath or troubled victim?

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  75. fuckin who cares why?

    just waste these malicious little fuks

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  76. my mother is a monstrous bitch. I realize this more everyday. Fuck, i do feel for men...


    you feel for us men who are even more monstrous bitches? Awwh ty.

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  77. i like people who have a noble respectability, those not bound by societies lies, and may have a totally crazy lifestyle, but carry a genuine noble respectability.

    'paths simply don't have this.

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  78. greetings my fello spaths

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  79. that's no S! it's haven when she was little lol

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  80. PersianThuggin45June 29, 2011 at 5:28 PM

    wen ah get mahh hands on tat fuker tat molested tat girl ima cut his nuts off mang

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  81. PersianThuggin45June 29, 2011 at 5:32 PM

    yo solful wat r u doin her i mean wat respect r u gettn her u have a socio fetish r sumin l o l

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  82. Noble Respectible ExamplesJune 29, 2011 at 5:40 PM

    Give us your list, anon.

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  83. Anon 5.04

    which child?

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  84. @ notme. type "child of rage" on youtube, then click the video with the little girl.

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  85. Good question to ask dear Persian one because I am leaving on a vacation tomorrow for a couple weeks. Starting with kind of a Zen boot camp. Emptying the mind is good mental floss. I also have some nature side trips planned with my offspring.

    Fetish? Perhaps. Depends on what defines fetish. I found this site looking for beneficial traits within the spectrum. And I enjoy the feisty nature of its inhabitants. I especially enjoy the levels of maturity, humor and strong desire to be understood and to understand. Any reflection on ignorance is sure to elevate suffering. Yet perhaps the suffering is as illusionary as the will to power.

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  86. "Give us your list, anon."

    reagan

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  87. why do people get obsessed with spats?

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  88. That little girl wasn't putting any pretenses up. She can lie most assuredly but she didn't even understand that what happened to her was really bad. She just knew it hurt and that she didn't like it. When it happens at the young of age it screws up your wiring because none of your wiring is even really in place yet. The mind has to find a way to cope. So it turns off the parts that would hinder survival and hurt her. Those who have never been tortured can't understand what it is like.

    Now excuse me. I have to go rub my vagniss. XD

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  89. oh yeh i saw that video a while ago. I think she was just very disturbed by her early experiences. I can't really say but i would lean in that direction more than the other. (Maybe with a genetic psychopathic component if it was her parent that abused her). was it, or was it a carer?
    can't remember.

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  90. It's still a psycho.

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  91. 'She can lie most assuredly but she didn't even understand that what happened to her was really bad'


    Why was it really bad?

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  92. she's not a psychopath and the treatment was successful. she's actually a pediatric nurse now.

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  93. why do people get obsessed with spats?

    Initially? Because they don't make sense to you. Then, because you know what they are, but you need to prove it to yourself. After, because they give good intrigue, and you can't resist a human puzzle.

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  94. Oh dear God, no! I will be forever surrounded in intrigue! HALP!

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  95. HaHa tHis B sum BIG time faggotyness u dum faggots lolololololololololololol

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  96. lol i thought that link might lead to something interesting, not able. my brain must be going soft from listening to your fag shit.

    hyperdynamicglobalwarmingsystem

    lol still got it.

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  97. "Those who have never been tortured can't understand what it is like."

    especially if physical changes from the torture remain.

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  98. i feel that the universe is "endowed" with great consciousness, not only because of the consciousness of the creature within it, but that the fabric of the universe itself has a "consciousness", that responds to "positive" energy, as documented in experiments where holding a piece of metal and thinking "positively" will energize the metal's ions. that being said, the universe is always "evolving" and that makes it a brutal place as well, but it would just suck if it wasn't always evolving, so that it just one part of it.

    evolution of consciousness is the most important aspect of the universe, and that can be see in the evolution of man, group survival depends on empathy.

    so, 'paths have a defective consciousness for whatever reason, some from environment, others from a brain structure malformation.

    just because there were 'paths before, such as stalin, there will be 'paths again.

    but the neo-hitler movement will out them and waste them before they can commit such atrocities again.

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  99. "as documented in experiments where holding a piece of metal and thinking "positively" will energize the metal's ions."

    What pseudo-science do you subscribe to?

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  100. Why does every damn woman have a cat?

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  101. Tell me about it.

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  102. The Field: The Quest for the Secret Force of the Universe

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  103. Cats are the only creatures who are enlightened sociopaths. Meow.

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  104. I am willing to join the neo-hitler movement.

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  105. I can't wait for neo hitler to come for me. TIME FOR SOME ASS WHOOPING

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  106. This Field is a quest of intrigue?

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  107. The Field: The Quest for the Secret Force of the Universe

    OMG I read this book like 6 years ago when it was not cutting edge. LOL. You are a little out dated brother. Time to actually read something up to date. I love these books though. They make people feel smart. When really they know nothing about the subject they just read. Wanna know something about it? Read the actual papers wrote on all those experiments and theories. However bring a dictionary, a calculator, and a mathematician. You will need all of them. XD

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  108. Guys,

    convo continued at yesterday's debate, so I've posted another comment for those of you who're interested!... '^L^,

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  109. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HKAPqHKDQI

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  110. Power is associated with a kind of security. By manipulating others in the world, you somehow place yourself out of the world. It's very cosy and safe outside of the world! Nothing can touch you there. Admit it. When you have some dumb sheep squirming on the end of your line, there is a feeling very much like sitting in front of a warm, cozy fire as a storm rages outside. You are insulated perfectly against the storm, so at home and at ease you can relax with the entire cosmos as if it was a warm room in a nice small hut. Somehow the act of exercising power an manipulating others brings this warm, deeply comforting at-home feeling.

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  111. "Somehow the act of exercising power an manipulating others brings this warm, deeply comforting at-home feeling."

    what happens when you get bitchslapped by them?

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  112. "what happens when you get bitchslapped by them?"

    What happens when the roof falls in on a man in his home in front of a cozy fire on a stormy day?

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  113. And the Oscar for set design goes toJuly 2, 2011 at 6:24 PM

    @PCL-R Factor 1


    (word verification: squal)

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  114. My sociopathic ex-lover once said to me: "You and me, we are very much alike, we both love to manipulate people." This is not true though - he did - I didnt. I do manipulate others - of course. Everybody does. But the difference is that I do not do it intentionally and when realizing what I am doing, I get an unpleasant feeling (shock, sadness).

    Still though I am fascinated with power. I couldnt abuse power myself, but I enjoy a lot to observe people. Being a social scientist it became very clear to me how fascinated with power I am. I am actually most stricken by how the so-called victims/vulnerable people manage to execute power.

    I know it is different from why you are drawn so much to power, but I am also asking myself, what needs of mine am I meeting by studying so obsessively how power works? Maybe it is about autonomy and aliveness. To see that there is nothing like a one-sided flow of power? That there is nothing like the oppressor and the oppressed - that we all chose the life we live? No-one can make you a victim - only you can make yourself a victim. Which if you think about it, makes you NOT a victim.

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  115. Ok, but now your question: What about power do you find so appalling?

    Well the only needs I can think of are security and self-appreciation.
    Something like that?

    But there must be more to it ... you know the pleasure you feel, when you see someone doing something and you think to yourself: "They are doing this, because I MADE them do this." ... ok of course self-appreciation/self-love as I already mentioned. But ... YES ... maybe it is also about the need for connection? You know, through controlling someone that you can get as close to them as you can. You can almost feel them, be them?

    I am imagining the scientist watching his rats in the cage. When the rat finally has learned that it has to touch a button to receive food. The joy he feels at that moment - what is this joy about?

    Security, orientation - sure. Those mice are predictable, they are very unlikely to do something that will give you an unpleasant feeling since you think that you can make them do what you want them to do.

    Self-appreciation - of course. You are THE GREATEST. You controll them. Youn understand them. They are JUST mice.

    self-love - yes. By thinking about how great you are you are distracted from thinking all the dark thoughts about how bad you are (even though this is typically a more narcissistic feature - it certainly is also true for the socios)

    connection, aliveness - I guess. Touch/connect with something alive outside the realm of your own disconnected, cold inner self.

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  116. James Redfield, in the Celestine Prophecy, explains this "energy" (power) in a way that makes sense to me. check it out.

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  117. oh, and i forgot to mention Mad Bear (author, Doug Boyd), an Indian Medicine Man who said we must learn to be one with nature and to take care of our fellow humans, that no one has a right to control another human being. it's called minding your own f*ing business, l o l

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  118. When a socio "wants" you what does he want? Power,only?

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