Sunday, June 26, 2011

The art of massage

I am on vacation so posting may be light or intermittent for the next couple of weeks. While I was getting a massage, though, I was thinking what a good example of one-sided pleasure it is. There you are experiencing pleasure, or depending on the skill of the masseuse -- bliss, while the masseuse is hard at work. You are hardly aware of how hard the masseuse is working, what exactly they are up to, and with some of my best massages I almost forget that there is even a masseuse at all, I am just having an intense feeling of pleasure.

Seductions are like massages in these ways. Good seducers know just how to play their seducee. There is a skill and an art in granting pleasure to someone in a one-sided way. Like massage, most of the moves are rote, but based on years of experience and the feedback and visible pleasure of countless seducees, the seducer has learned what tends to work. Although everyone is different, most people are not really all that different and a stable of reliable techniques with a few tricks for variety are frequently sufficient for most tasks. Like a masseuse, the seducer starts gradually, attempting to acclimate the seducee to submission to a force outside themselves. The masseuse/seducer keeps escalating the intensity until the massage can become truly painful. Some recipients might balk at this pain and withdraw, but most will stay in the game because they trust the seducee/masseuse, they assume that whatever is being done to them is somehow necessary.

I say one-sided pleasure because the masseuse is presumably not getting pleasure. Some in a seduction might project their feelings on the seducee, assuming that the seducer is also in love, is also feeling the same or a similar connection/emotion. To do so is as wrong as to assume that your masseuse is also feeling a tingle down their spine as they shuffle their hands down your back. What pleasure does the seducer get then? Why go to all of the trouble? It's a good question without a good answer. The easy answer would be to say power and control, but it just begs the question -- what's so great about power and control?

But it's been a long time goal of mine to take some classes on massage, exactly because it gives the illusion of connectivity without needing actual connection.

65 comments:

  1. I hope you get a happy ending with little pleasure/pain. It's. GOOD. FOR you to have pleasure.

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  2. Cake -

    make -



    fun =

    sploshing

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  3. this sounds like empathy.

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  4. nusually, I find myself disagreeing with you.

    First, I would challenge your assumption that massage is a one-sided pleasure. While it may be true for a professional transaction, my experience is that a lot of people, particularly empathetic submissives, gain intrinsic pleasure from providing pleasure for dominants.

    In your example it is massage but it is very much the dynamic is most BDSM relationships. The submissives reward is the pleasure of their dominant partner(s). There is a virtuous feedback loop at play.

    secondly, you suggest that seduction is similar, with the suducee as the beneficiary? You ask, "what's so great about power and control?" well i just happends to be what turns my motor and makes it worth getting out of bed in the morning - or evening.

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  5. My Human Toys, I REALLY need to prep my abode for the help this gorgeous day. ...They're waiting on me, and I have little time for your --oh alright, I think i can squeeze in a read

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  6. The great thing about power and control, is that it is addictive, somehow when you think you have power over someone you feel like you can control them as well as you please, and they cant control you, they are not aware, an illusionary addiction, because you know you are better, you are superior, you're the one who controls destiny, until the infinite possibilities for things to go wrong happen, my sweet illusions...

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  7. You can read a lot about a person by laying your hands on them.

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  8. power = superman.

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  9. You want to drop this in our laps and then just leave. Damn you, M.E. Damn you all to hell. :)

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. Random . . .
    Feeling abandoned? Massage or vacation envy?

    Actually leaving with the scent of pleasure in one's mind is a clever temporary exist strategy.

    M.E. (thinking to himself or herself) "I really do deserve this vacation. What is power and control over others if I cannot enjoy the simple relaxing pleasures and joys of living." Fuck them. Fuck analyzing everything.
    Just touch me there and there and . . . ."

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  12. @My human toys
    You are a wicked talent!  How pleasant to follow this foray. 

    Now why would you get out of bed? Do let us know what we might fetch on your behalf. 

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  13. 'Actually leaving with the scent of pleasure in one's mind is a clever temporary exit strategy.'

    Exactly. :)

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  14. "this sounds like empathy."

    I have empathy like I have emotions. It is there it just shallow and highly limited. I've taken empathy test and even had psychiatrists tell me that I have extremely low empathy. I'm not a 0 on the empathy test. I know what people are going through. I just can't bring myself to care about it.

    Toys has it right. People with empathy enjoy seeing ones they like/love being pleasured. Think of it as the flip side of them not liking a loved one being in pain. Same operation, inverse stimuli.

    The only pleasure a person, such as I, can get from giving a massage is in the gaining. I do it to achieve a purpose. The more purposeful the purpose the more pleasure I gain from achieving it. All in all seduction/massaging/whatever the hell else you can think of is, for those with low empathy, simply a means to an end.

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  15. ME, stop playing your existential games. You're confusing the herd.

    Why does anything cause pleasure? It's all in your head. Literally. There is no philosophizing about it in abstract. It's simple science. Certain people are wired a certain way. That's why there is BDSM and other fetish sub-cultures, that's why there are sex criminals and that's why some people sexually get off on murder. Our very brains demand certain stimuli to feel a high that nothing else can give us.

    For some of us it's a need. For some of us it's just for fun. But much like MHT, it's what gets me through the day, the power and control games, the intrigue, the play. I spent enough of my life in the classroom of life, it's time for a good long summer vacation.

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  16. Apologies for all of the typos in my earlier comment but hope you got the drift.

    I find it difficult to type on a 'phone at the best of times but I am still at Glastonbury and seem to have consumed rather too many chemicals. "Normal service" should resume tomorrow.

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  17. "I've taken empathy test and even had psychiatrists tell me that I have extremely low empathy. I'm not a 0 on the empathy test."

    bullshit, anyone can be "whatever" they want to "prove" to themselves on those test.

    ie. i want to be "cool" without "empathy", let me answer how i "think" would give the result i want.

    see....i have no empathy, i am "cool".

    duh, you're a fuckin moron?

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  18. @ The Notable Toy, confusing the herd is a form of enjoyment for a sociopath. Newsflash.

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  19. societies neuroses clutters and contaminates consciousness.

    a free consciousness only follows a single premise:

    fight and elevate the universe.

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  20. Shut up, cunt. If you wish to teach a lesson without sounding like an redundant imbecile, at least know who your pupils are.

    I can call ME out on his manipulation if I please. If he is catering to a crowd of sociopaths, he damn well better step up his game.

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  21. I think it's fine (though i'm not a socio). I miss him already, and he's not even gone yet.

    Alright---so I'm a part of the herd then. Baa. Baa.

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  22. Actually, the above was quite Random. (Literally speaking.)

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  23. Ok, the true purpose of this blog, manipulating people into believing psychopaths are actually pretty cool guys. Tell the truth ME just this once!

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  24. "Ok, the true purpose of this blog, manipulating people into believing psychopaths are actually pretty cool guys."

    yup.

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  25. everyone here seems to think that psychopaths are simply really cool guys who believe in themselves, lol.

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  26. @Soulful, you are quite the gang.

    Speaking of wiring, The replicator is unable to produce cake, completely illogical.

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  27. Ok, your right. We are bad.

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  28. M.E. wrote....

    What pleasure does the seducer get then? Why go to all of the trouble? It's a good question without a good answer. The easy answer would be to say power and control, but it just begs the question -- what's so great about power and control?


    doesn't the seducer or massage therapist also get pleasure in the form of satisfaction (derived from power and control over another)? mental pleasure if you will. the seducee gets emotional pleasure and the massaged gets physical pleasure. perhaps a need for mental pleasure drives a sociopath in the way that a need for emotional pleasure drives an empath.

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  29. If you want something, you go and get it, if to obtain whatever you want you are going to need to make some massages than that's what you are going to do, why are we implying that the seducer will get pleasure here? maybe its just means to an end, and the pleasure might as well come after that end, maybe there's a bigger picture

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  30. M.E.,

    this is a great topic, and you've written it well. I've used this analogy on occasion, I really think it fits.

    I'll send you a mail with my thoughts on this.

    .....

    MyHumanToys,
    I would challenge your assumption that massage is a one-sided pleasure.

    I see what you mean and I had the same thought. But there's no doubt about 'more fun to receive than to give' is the more common experience also for neurotypicals.

    Your statement, 'giving can being just as pleasurable' is true, but it is not quite as common as the opposite.

    I think it depends a lot upon whether the involved parties have a strong ability to feel empathy. In fact, I think that in a long term basis, two people repeatedly interacting physically will have to develop some degree of love. Otherwise the pleasure at being the giver will not persist.

    And you'll not insist that most people love each other or someone they have sex with? I know that's a common assumption, but most people - once we look a little closer at things - know that love is fairly uncommon.

    secondly, you suggest that seduction is similar, with the suducee as the beneficiary?

    Personally I'd say it's a two-way pleasure in this kind of situation. There're other situations where the pleasure may be strictly on the side of the giver.

    "what's so great about power and control?" well i just happends to be what turns my motor and makes it worth getting out of bed in the morning - or evening.

    Lol. Indeed. I often ask people what they think is the driving factor that makes me get out of bed every morning. Strictly speaking I rarely get out of bed in the morning, but I do some time during the day, and your description of a motive is pretty much spot on.

    And it's a good kick starter, no? And the carrots one pick up along the way is certainly not the worst fuel you can give your expensive and high maintenance Class 1 quality super car either. ;)


    Kesu,
    I have empathy like I have emotions.

    Yeah. I've just decided I have empathy too. I realized it recently - I'm not going to tell you how, because I know it'll be scoffed at...

    Arh, what the hell, hre goes: I had a dream where I experienced empathy! Not like I couldn't stop crying or such. I didn't cry, and I didn't have difficulty thinking about something else afterward, nor did I feel physically bad. But I certainly did have a sting of, like "Man, that's sad!" for the person in the dream.

    Anyway, that was a side note, lol. But I had to brag a little to all the fanatics who think psychopaths can't feel empathy. Feels good to prove them wrong for once! Yay!


    Notable,
    ME, stop playing your existential games. You're confusing the herd.

    Hm, slightly pretentious line thrown in to impress?

    If the readers understand a few essential things, then a few 'confusing' existentialistic thoughts won't deter them.

    Why does anything cause pleasure? It's all in your head. Literally. There is no philosophizing about it in abstract. It's simple science.

    Perhaps you misunderstood the idea here. It is not about abstract philosophy, it's about understanding oneself.
    Another thing: How simple some field of science is can't be generalized like this. Especially not when it comes to the new techniques and neuro-psychology!
    You're generalizing, Notable.

    Certain people are wired a certain way.

    That's more like it. But are you content with knowing "I'm wired in a certain way, and other people are wired in an uncertain way, or in other certain ways!"?

    Somehow it doesn't fit with your intellectual profile. Do I sense a certain displeasure with not knowing these things anymore than M.E. and most others do, perhaps? ;)

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  31. Note I will forgive your dagger wit, for your intellect entertains. You can fight and elevate the universe by calling M.E. on anything you want. Imbecile I am not, a fool for the pleasure of blogging, yes.

    Redundant is another name for a "personality." You have one too, no matter how many masks you wear.

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  32. Seducing oneself into being interested in another person can be as much of a pleasure as the spoils received.

    Bon voyage, M.E.! May a devilishly handsome man stumble upon your secret lair and surrender fully to your carnal games when cornered.

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  33. Me reminds me of a nerdy Indian girls.

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  34. @zhawq

    p'path = "characterized by the inability to form human attachment"

    p'paths consciousness does != human consciousness.

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  35. Fight and elevate wtf?

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  36. Bored games for a 1000June 26, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    Self Seduction.  Care to offer a how-to, a little 1-oh-1?

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  37. Vedder

    Sorry is the fool who trades his soul for a corvette.
    Thinks he'll get the girl he'll only get the mechanic.
    What's missing? He's living a day he'll soon forget.

    That's one more time around. The sun is going down.
    The moon is out but he's drunk and shouting.
    Putting people down. He's pissing. He's living a day he'll soon forget.

    Counts his money every morning. The only thing that keeps him horny.
    Locked in a giant house that's alarming.
    The townsfolk they all laugh.

    Sorry is the fool who trades his love for hi-rise rent.
    Seem the more you make equals the loneliness you get.
    And it's fitting. He's barely living a day he'll soon forget.

    That's one more time around and there is not a sound.
    He's lying dead clutching Benjamins. Never put the money down.
    He's stiffening. We're all whistling a man we'll soon forget.

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  38. Pathetic. Please shoot this blog.

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  39. vedder

    Understand she’s a force of nature
    Contraband hiding deep inside her soul
    Exorcising her will to lose control
    She lets go
    A common man, he don’t stand a chance, no
    Wonderland pulling Alice in the hole
    No way to save someone who won't take the rope
    And just let’s go
    One man stands the edge of the ocean
    A beacon on dry land
    Eyes upon the horizon
    In the dark before the dawn
    Hurricane has the trade winds blowing
    A gale force shaking windows in the storm
    Shipwreck on the rock that he calls home
    With one light on
    Somewhere there’s a siren singing
    A song only he hears
    All the strength that you might think
    Would disappear,.. Resolving
    One man stands alone, Awaiting
    For her to come home
    Eyes upon the horizon
    In dark before the darkness meets the dawn.
    Makes me ache,... Makes me shake,...
    Is it so wrong to think that love can keep us safe?
    Last I saw, he was out there waiting
    A silhouette in the black light, full moon glow
    In the sand there he stands upon the shore
    Forevermore
    Somewhere there’s a siren singing
    A song only he hears
    All the strength that you might think
    Would disappear, resolving
    One man stands along, Awaiting
    For her to come home
    Eyes are closed,.. You cannot know
    But his heart don’t seem to roam.

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  40. My intellectual profile, my lack of knowledge, my pretentious line, my what?

    Don't project a corrupted image and expect me to think it's a mirror.

    As for your Soulfulpath, you come here to quote Buddha, Jesus, and Yoda, and yet your own original commentary and voice are about as vacuous as the void you had to fill with books. You're nothing more than a glorified sponge who will one day dry out and realize how fruitless the effort was.

    The path to enlightenment? The path to inner peace? Give me a fucking break. Life's about living, not figuring out who you are just before you die. You're just a waste of space who hides behind being a mother and a sage when you're just a hussy whose children can't stand her and the constant stream of bullshit that comes flying out of your mouth. I'm sure you're all the rage during the holidays.

    I've seen enough insects caught in your simple web, and it disappoints me greatly. The weakness, the idiocy, the blind worship. You know why I hate people so much? Because people like you don't even bother to innovate, you don't bother to go the extra mile, you're content with your simple ways for simple results, because playing it safe (usually) works.

    It's people like you who give us such a bad name, because you aren't hard at all to spot. You go from emotional paycheck to emotional paycheck, just working it enough to get by without really putting an effort towards the fun, towards the creativity, towards the subtlety. You're simple scum, and the bitch that everyone remembers oh so (not) fondly. How does it feel to be a perpetual bad memory? You're no puppet master. You're just a junkie.

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  41. "Life's about living, not figuring out who you are just before you die."

    truth.

    we are undefined so dont even fukin bother tryin to figure it out.

    yet the highest premise of conscious remains:

    fight and elevate the universe.

    and have fun doing it too.

    peace, faggots.

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  42. Note . . . just spunky . . . the daggers are coming from every angle. Most are false and have missed their mark. I guess my cactus needles under your skin are starting to irritate. Do you feel cornered?

    Duh, it's about living. You don't read between the lines. Duh, what's peace. Living fully is making peace with our individual makeup, even if that inner presence is a state of war. Your personal blog is an example of such an endeavor. I have my blind spots, it's part of my personality, so do you.

    I will address this statement . . .

    "You know why I hate people so much? Because people like you don't even bother to innovate, you don't bother to go the extra mile, you're content with your simple ways for simple results, because playing it safe (usually) works."

    Note, when you are interconnect with people, long term jobs, children and communities people make safe and smart choices which keep the social fabric in place. You have lived as a maverick. What? You want everyone to be you? This fabric allows your little cunning spider a sturdy web to cross upon.

    I do love pleasure, I am perhaps an obsessional junkie to that or whatever holds my interest.

    You have a fantasy that I am a hussy so I will seduce you, then you can reject me and pull me in again and go for the jugular. I know your type. You wrote it in your blog.

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  43. FFS, never mind my monologues, have you seen my mood-smoothing pills?

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  44. how to fight and elevate the universe:

    become self-aware by purifying your consciousness.

    1. throw out your perceptions that are based on societies lies/framework.

    2. then you will begin to see yourself through the fog, raw, and unrestrained.

    3. you will see you are more than you thought you were, in fact, you will see you are undefined.

    4. from this point of clarity, determine the best way your consciousness could ever feel.

    5. add overarching truthful premises to your consciousness so you feel this way all the time.

    6. risk it all to feel the way you have determined is the best.

    7. never maliciously harm other beings.

    just as neo-hitler always says: fight and elevate the universe.

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  45. over time neo-hiler has learned that he had been mistaken, and the jews were a sloppy target.

    neo-hitler is now more precise and has recalibrated his target to mal-consciousness.

    whosoever maliciously harms the well-being of other beings will be targeted, and laid to waste, regardless, of race, creed, ethnicity, color, religion, or economic status.

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  46. If I had to say one thing about today I would say. TL;DR.

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  47. The bad thing about not feeling strong emotions is you don't get rapped up in the drama of life, sometimes i wish i could be part of a group instead of just being at the top on my own.

    I see men my age arguing about their children and family matters and i wish i could do that, but if i did i'd feel as if these inferiors could think that they were possibly on the same level as i was.

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  48. *a challenger appears*

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  49. This post did more for my understanding of what's going on then any other.

    But it has happened that the more power and control that was aquired the less value the suducee has = failure, but who's really?
    I'm a complete empath and have put his pleasure first always, now I'm done before I am at the point where I disappear from his mind, no explainayion no good bye because the only thing that needs to disappear is him. ;P

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  50. Potens CogitatumJune 27, 2011 at 8:44 AM

    An amusing conflict, to be sure. However, it is annoying to read through the incoherent babble that breaks it up.

    In case I'm not being clear: Insects should not have the privilage to enter into conversation.

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  51. Amusing Cogitatum, my bad, I forgot how limited your brain is. But you made me smile.

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  52. Roman slave on holidayJune 27, 2011 at 9:27 AM

    @Potens 

    This web is social. (3.0 will incorporate discernment, AI drawn from the collective.)  If comments here could be ranked or viewed in a cluster, Then we would have a Coliseum.  Until then, do spar.

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  53. Notable,
    Don't project a corrupted image and expect me to think it's a mirror.

    Oh it's a mirror alright!... ;)

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  54. No, it's not a mirror, Zhawq. I'd say nice try, but it really wasn't.

    And dear God, no I do not want you to seduce me Soulfulpath. Middle-aged women who spend too much time at the pottery barn and the local Mystic store are not on the top of my menu.

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  55. Note, your misogyny is incorrigible. Which is interesting because of your own "yin" nature is really where your power resides. You are a highly creative male, much more than many in this spectrum. If you were all brute strength you would be imprisoned by now.

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  56. Like so many dim-witted women who think they know more about men than they really do, you mistake misanthropy for misogyny. You can't get over the fact that you aren't being singled out for your most defining feature, your sexuality. It's what makes you stick out in your own mind, which is why you are so obsessed with jamming full your head with wisdom you didn't naturally gain, as you've done little in life other than go through a divorce and sprout a few pups out of your crotch cradle.

    So you take the female empowerment so seriously as you think males look down upon your sex as opposed to your weakness and idiocy so that you have a bullshit barrier that protects for your barrages under the guise of sexism as opposed to the fact that some people just really don't like you that happen to be male.

    My personality/sexuality is androgynous and my misanthropy is all encompassing. It's nothing personal against your private parts.

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  57. You are such a handful these last two days, it's like you are ejaculating abundant persuasions in every direction, seeding the forums with your voice of pragmatic diarrhea. Your dynamic points play like Picasso's bulls shouting "lies that make us realize the truth!"

    I happen to like the other side of the gender divide. I am your complete opposite, call me a humanitarian, call me an optimist, call my wisdom simplistic yet it is my strength. I do not hold your androgynous nature against you. I actually commented in my previous post it's your secret weapon.

    I believe we all share a common goal here in the SW wild west, it's to own our deepest natures and to gain some advantage through that process. Kind of like coal mining for fuel to heat our hunger for power, understanding, pure aggression and relational complexity. In that regard, Note we are equals.

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  58. Banter with you again in a couple weeks . . . following along with our fearless leader perhaps I will have a massage too. ;-)

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  59. The more I read in this blog I keep having the idea, that you simply lack the ability with the need of connection and contribution.

    I love giving massages too, but because it is joy for me to see how someone else feels good when I touch them in certain ways. I believe you lack this ability to feel this kind of joy, do you?

    And you know what, I believe that with the intent to "seduce" (meaning: to manipulate / controll the other person through giving them pleasure) will actually make you a bad masseuse (or however this word is spelled). And why is that so? It is because you cannot be PRESENT with your touches. Intention (whatever it may be) takes away presence.

    Being seduced (in the way you would describe the act of seduction) actually does not make you feel good. You get drawn in and you enjoy on the emotional surface, but underneath there is an unpleasant tingly feeling that tells you that something is not right. But since most humans are so used to being used, they cannot sense the unpleasant tingly feeling and get drawn in. I had my good share of people on the sociopathic realm (im very drawn to them) and believe the tingling was always there.

    So your only chance being succesful as a masseuse (!) / seducer is that you meet the people who cannot distinguish between receiving freely vs. being manipulated.

    But dont worry - you will meet enough people of that kind.

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  60. As a massage therapist who is also quite out of touch with her emotional needs/reactions. I realized on aspect I like about being a therapist is the fact you are handed all this power. This person disrobes before you no questions asked, trusting you to have their best interests at heart, and this person does so thinking they're utilizing you. The feeling of potential, feels like power. If you do it right, you can utilize them. I'm not sure if ASPDs feel that electricity/magnetism that seems tied peoples emotions, what does it feel like when you touch someone? Anywho if you can, it's an chest opening feeling to play with. It's a delicate feeling and so many ways to challenge yourself to entice it and play with it, without having to deal with a person on the other end for the most part. When they're on my table they're tissue. Or the stress sweat people experience when you do something a little too hard. Someone you don't like being an asshole? Now you know all the nifty ways to make them hurt and think they're asking for it. And guess what, it actually feels good for me to massage. Do therapists run themselves down? Sure for money or desire to be great or liked or whatever. Oh and not to mention the generous room for bullshit with very little blowback.

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