I have been thinking recently about what it means to be very smart. I always score in the 99th percentile of standardized tests. I have a job that is very prestige oriented, for which you have to be smart, brilliant even. And I'm actually very good at my job. Some of my friends that know about the blog and me being a sociopath wonder if maybe I'm not a sociopath at all, maybe I am just smart -- too smart to get caught up in the emotional muck that most people are mired in?
I don't know, it makes me wonder, and it sort of makes me anxious to think that my intelligence would have such a profound effect on the way I perceive the world, the way I move in the world.
I have mixed feelings about being so smart. It's sometimes hard to get out of my head and a lot of the time people don't really respect it, they look down on me for it unless they're prestige whores and then they're not the type of person I would even want to be impressed.