Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Aspie sex

This is a pretty funny article about aspie sex. It's worth reading in its entirety. There are some amusing commonalities between aspies and sociopaths in this area (as in most areas). Here is my favorite vignette:
I tried having lesbian sex. I answered an ad. Picture her: The professional ballet dancer who had just quit, and to celebrate, she got breast implants. And me, the aspiring professional beach volleyball player.

She spent the whole evening talking about how smart I am and how many books I’ve read and how strong I am.

I spent the whole evening talking about how hot she is.

I did not realize that this exchange meant that I had to be the aggressor in bed.

I said, “Are we going to kiss now? We can’t do this whole date and not kiss.”

She said, “I need you to seduce me.”

I said, “What? Are you kidding? Just take your clothes off. How are we going to have sex if we keep putting it off?”

She said, “It’s not like that. There has to be a game or something.”

I said, “Okay. You do the game. What should we do?”

She pouted. I did not realize it was part of the game.

I told her that we were really ineffective together and I thought we needed some guy there with us to run the show. We never did that. We never did anything.
Aspies, you are hilarious. Thanks for being you!

Lots of love,
m.e.

220 comments:

  1. Typical Aspie social grace.

    The question is, who was more damaged goods, the aspie, or the retired ballet dancer? :P I've got my money on the dancer.

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  2. This actually reminds me of one of my first girlfriends lol.

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  3. Yes, I've read this. It is pretty interesting, but I dated an aspie in college* for about a year, and he wasn't anything like that.

    *I actually just found out that he was an aspie, which totally ruins all of the mystery that existed in my head for them.

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  4. Good one M.E. I see why you find this lady entertaining.

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  5. He has way too much intrest in these retards to be a sociopath... First he claims he hates bullies now he is harping on about down syndromes. Can't believe you all are listening to him. They say aspies find a subject and delve deep into it and I think ME did that with sociopathy.

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  6. You think this blog has run its' course?

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  7. Where can I find a blog about sociopaths with the owner actually present for discussion?

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  8. Sam Vaknin replies to his readers, he also makes videos unlike this socially inept aspie masking as a psychopath.

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  9. haha, I was like that too before I started learning to mirror people. I still have trouble with that silly "game" they do.

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  10. First, good bye Bored Anon's, I hope one of you is the rapist. The pleasure has been all your's I'm sure.

    Second is playing games something the more dom socio's like to do while having sex or would being dominating just be part of the personality that exists more or less all the time?

    Are there Aspie's that like to dominate their partner.

    I love being submissive.

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  11. Vankin replies with form letters, culled from crap he already wrote.

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  12. Who else thinks M.E is an aspie?

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  13. None of us will ever really know, so does it really matter? As long as what he posts gives us something to talk about, who cares.

    It's nice when stuff branches out to related stuff anyway, beit aspie, socio, empath, BPD stuff... part and parcel.

    wv: criestom

    I shall assume anon's name is Tom.

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  14. i think it's bob, and i think he plays golf.

    it was funny. :) thanks, m.e.

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  15. For what its worth, compared to whats going on here, I do think this Penelope lady's persona is rather contrived to draw maximum attention and connection from the alluded Generation Y. Afterall, creative writing is also listed on her resume.

    I couldn't figure out what she does in her so called highly successful carreer in the company she co-founded. No real product to speak of. Another clever shpiel to personalise an internet business enterprise capitalising on voyeuristic curiousity and the vicarious need to feed off and connect with the wierd and quirky life of another. Totally Generation X stuff...I wonder how M.E. found this site.

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  16. I didn't find her article to be all that humorous. Somewhat informative, but nothing beyond typical apsie shtik. All her anecdotes served to do was make her look clueless this late in life. The only thing hilarious is the tragedy.

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  17. I don't really care wether M.E. is an aspie or not. Probably an expected response, but with the amount of borderlines here that admit they are a sociopath it's not possible for it to matter who's who. I'm not even saying it's bad or wrong for them to not know the difference, afterall how can they? But they can lie to you just the same :)

    I don't mind aspies either, they're more than worth the conversation. I even like them.

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  18. Borderline that admit they are a sociopath? What?

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  19. That's a funny story, M.E. - It's about aspies, I take it, lol.

    Yet, though I do recognize that initial uncertainty that you have when you date someone for the very first time ... and yeah, I guess a good many times after that with others ... I still don't think I'm generally as clueless as this describes.

    But oh well, I keep saying I'm not a sociopath, I guess this 'proves' it. Lol

    .....

    I've written a little article about some of my views on how psychiatrists - and commoners - see my so called 'grandiosity' and 'shallow affect'.

    ..... ..(Click name-> Zhawq).

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  20. I think M.E. is most likely on the S spectrum. He is a talented blogger in any case.

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  21. Borderline bordering Socio? There's an interesting thought, but I'm not sure how many 'personality disorders' a person can have at one time. Maybe if they have a Dissociative Identity disorder one of their personalities could be socio.

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  22. Zhawq, what is some examples of greatness that other's have achieved that you are capable of?

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  23. This aspie conversation is pretty much what goes on in my head with relationships. A game I don't understand that I'm forced to attempt to play out, generally with disastrous results. I'm utterly clueless, even though I vaguely know what I'm supposed to be doing. And I'm terrible at faking stuff (which is what playing by accepted rules feels like to me), it feels gross, and I don't quite understand the point.

    Why can't people just be? Oh, because communication and anything social requires mutually understood rules, the same way language does, or some shit. I guess.

    That's why I find this little snippet to be perhaps.... more honest, in a way. Kind of meta, even... referring tacitly to the rules in order to somehow play them out.

    Does honesty make one naive?

    My writing is disjointed lately, sorry. My regular computer died and I can't think straight on this one for some reason. Aspie routine or some shit, I get thrown off when something changes.

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  24. Regarding Borderline/Socio/Aspie confusion, I can see that happening, easily.

    Every day I'm something different, my sense of self is so dynamic and open (although my persona pretty much stays the same) that everything can be interpreted as something different at any given moment.

    My externals stay the same, but my internals are like... whoa. Especially this past year with all this mental purging and sorting that I've been going through.

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  25. to me this reads like a creative exaggeration, a contrived "honesty" ...the flow in the quoted passage doesn't ring true for me

    i have serious social problems, but i learned where the holes were and what is done with them at a very young age... how could you not learn that even if you were retarded... please, i don't buy it. fake.

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  26. The gestalt of social interactions for me is a patchwork of false starts, turns and twists, incompleteness, indecison, misses, trajectories that never crossed.

    And yeah, faking comprehesion or connection feels pretty alien. The only exception,...well having to be polite in some situations. Moments when I'm quietly gratefull to hollywood.

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  27. Heh, I do take a lot of cues from movies and television.

    And aspie, the exchange may seen contrived, I don't know and can't tell, but there is still something to be said about the underlying... 'theme' of it, for lack of a better word.

    I am quite skilled at faking/playing by the rules now, most of the time, because I finally see some utility in it, and I have some understanding that it really has nothing to do with personal integrity. I haven't dated in forever, but I think if I ever do again, I could probably keep up.

    Sounds boring, though. Not knowing what was going on at least made it interesting and intense.

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  28. The giveaway for me was when she couldn't hide her disappointment that many commentors felt sorry for her and tried to guide them back to the response she'd rather have.

    The new age of the damaged evangelist?

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  29. I interpreted it as them both being aspie-ish. Only difference was that she learned the rules previously and was attempting to follow them like yer supposed to, while he remained clueless.

    There is nothing spontaneous about the exchange.

    I guess, though, that could be extended and one could say that everyone is aspie-ish until the rulebook is read and internalized.

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  30. its like setup/punchline ha ha ok

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  31. "I don't really care wether M.E. is an aspie or not. Probably an expected response, but with the amount of borderlines here that admit they are a sociopath it's not possible for it to matter who's who. I'm not even saying it's bad or wrong for them to not know the difference, after all how can they? But they can lie to you just the same :)"

    What are you talking about?
    I'm not a sociopath and never claimed to be.

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  32. Anon doesn't know what the hell they say, Notme, and they don't care what the hell they say either. It's just anything to start a fucking argument and get the attention focused on them.

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  33. Anon doesn't know what the hell the are saying, nor do they care what the hell they are saying. It's anything to start an argument and get the attention focused on them.

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  34. Pardon the double post. A bit inpatient I suppose, but you get the idea.

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  35. Medusa, I think 'compassion' is pretty high there in the rules of the game. How much compassion does your non-socio make up allow you to fake before it becomes real?

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  36. I find for me that distractions can get in the way of and interfere with the experience of empathy and compassion. Problems (fear?), caffeine (dopamine rushes?) and the clock are general big ones. I know I can get pretty lost in stuff and I don't feel or connect much. But I find there is a part of me that notes hypocrisy in my behavior and thinking. Like I believe and feel that we should treat each other kindly and be "good" as it makes the most sense logically for me for the whole and resonates emotionally/feels right. When things are going well and I am at ease and feel good, empathic caring and kindness flow from me, it's easy. but this is rare. most times it feels like a numb struggle to be discussed

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  37. You could be smarter aspie, forget about connections and kindness, pursue you're goals and gratification, or pay the price later on in life.

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  38. hm, too many things to say, but i just can't be bothered today.

    See Nikita, told you. ;)

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  39. BTK = Born To Kill

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  40. thanks anon @ 6:20 pm, your advice is very sound imo and i appreciate it

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  41. Whats the title of the rule book and who's the author?

    Who's would you read first, Oprah's or Elizabeth Taylor's?
    Maybe Larry King, he has to have something he's learned.

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  42. aspie, don't concern yourself with what you feel is hypocricy, especially if your intentions are good. It's normal to feel various, apparently conflicting things. You can't judge yourself for it, and it's also problematic that we judge others too.

    Well, i'll never make a Court Judge, that's for sure. hehe.
    I wonder if i get called for Jury duty. I'll probably be like, aww, be he couldn't help himself!!!! haha!
    I'm such a ditz today it's not even funny.

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  43. I was called into jury duty a few years ago and I said something similar to that Notme. Then I told the judge some bullshit story that my son got very sick and he dismissed me. But what really bothered me was that there was very little evidence that this man killed someone but he was black and I could feel the racism in the air. I would have been a problem juror anyway.

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  44. aspie said: "i have serious social problems, but i learned where the holes were and what is done with them at a very young age... how could you not learn that even if you were retarded... please, i don't buy it. fake."

    My main gripe with the article. It seemed like it was trying too hard to be aspie-ish, and considering the woman's age, it just seems highly unlikely.

    Were she in her teens to very early twenties and lived under a rock for the first eighteen years of her life, I might have seen this as viable, but she made no such claim.

    The way she has painted it is that an aspie would be incapable of learning the proper cues, or at least not utilizing them. In the same way an aspie can obsess about certain subjects, I'm sure they can (and do) try to learn to be 'normal' the same way someone who is sociopathic has to. We weren't given the cheat sheet for the test. We have to study.

    I may joke from time to time about aspies, but I highly doubt they are incapable of learning such knowledge and utilizing it. It seems to me that her presentation was to draw light to stereotype for the sake of humor, and considering it's not a comedy hour blog, it was demeaning with no real point, other than possible self-indulgence.

    Maybe she didn't pick up on that cue. It can't be helped, apparently ;)

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  46. wow Grace, so I guess I'm not far off in my self-assessment then.

    Yeah, i can't see myself enjoying it much myself.

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  47. omg what is up with that last sentence i wrote??????
    I did say, i'm ditzy today.

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  48. thenotablepath has changed his name to robert?

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  50. aspie, don't you think that the lady in the story (the author) just needs a dominant partner? Is that not the case for aspies since they don't need to deal with the logistical issues that way?
    or am i completely off?

    what about two aspies together? isn't that extra hard work?

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  51. Two aspies doesn't sound terribly fun as a couple.

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  52. in the context of that story, maybe notme

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  54. Huh? Was that the deleted post or something?

    Interesting.

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  55. TheNotablePath's name is Robert? Hiya Rob, Bob, Bert, Bobby, Robbie, notme.

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  56. Robert Smith.

    It's sort of a classic.

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  57. For the record I didn't actually read the article, only the excerpt posted above.

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  58. ok

    i think a good topic for M.E. in the near future would be to ask his commenters/followers what initially attracted them to his blog and kept their interest etc

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  59. Robert Smith, I went over to your blogger profile and notice that the only blog your list as following is your own.

    That takes the Narcissistic Cake!

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  60. just got a heartfelt email from my mum. Oh Joy of joys.~

    Well, aspie, you keep my interest! :)

    hehe. anon, funny. Notable, what do you think? Am I your alter ego?

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  61. The first name I go by (and have been for well over half my life) is too obvious to even hint at. But not common.

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  62. Medusa, you changed your first name irl?

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  63. Yep. It's funny because when I changed it I had no idea how fitting the name really was until recently.

    My birth name just makes no sense at all.

    Thinking about changing my last name too, legally. Back to the version it was before my grandparents came to the states.

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  64. There are so many things about TheNotablePath/RobertSmith that point to genuine creepiness. He makes my skin crawl more than anybody that posts replies to this blog. He seems truly off balance.

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  65. Sometimes I wish it was, aspie, because it's very fitting as well.

    It was a childhood nickname, though, and that's why I use it as my screen name. The grade-school bullies gave it (amongst others) to me.

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  66. that's interesting. I wanted to change my surname offically too, and use my middle name as my new surname. When i told my family they just rolled their eyes, kinda like 'oh well, here's another wacky thing she wants to do.' One of my bros was kind of angry at me. I guess i was shedding an old skin, since my outlook had changed and i wanted a re-birth in a way. As ever, i never actually did it, but i was convinced i would, and i still might. Plus, i justified it to them by saying that so many people have my real surname, (huge family) that it's no loss to the family name. It's funny when i do something and my family give me this confused, bewildered look - i'm like, er, what's the problem?

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  67. Every single one of us here is creepy, anon.

    Why Notable especially? Elucidate, I'm interested.

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  68. I don't think you get a choice in the matter off the bat when you're the blog author, they just sort of put you in there as someone who has "joined" the blog. There is a way to remove it, though. Thanks for pointing it out.

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  69. Yep, my re-naming was an attempt at a re-birth, and/or a denial of my childhood.

    And simply sounded cooler.

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  70. is medusa that goddess with the snakes for hair? Did they call you that cos you scared them or were stand-offish or something?

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  71. I have special hair when it's not flat-ironed.

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  72. TheNotablePath comes across as too much of a hard sell and too concerned with trying to make sure everybody is buying.

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  73. It's in it's special Medusa state today, though :)

    I'm going bowling tonight with a bunch of metal heads and I don't feel like blending in (not that I ever could if I ever felt like trying).

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  74. Wuddup, Empath? How's your crusty vagoo?

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  75. The bizarro lovefraud Donna, perhaps?

    The yang to her yin.

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  76. i had some funny nicknames. can't give them away though.

    I wanted to rename myself Anais as in Anais Nin here once i got an account. But found it way too unoriginal.
    I find names weird, i attach too much value to them. Kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I guess that's my impressionable side or something. Why else do you think i settle for notme - its so non-descript and freeing. I'm SO weird.
    My grandma has the worst name ever - but i can't divulge it. Let's just say, her parents didn't hold high hopes for her. lol.

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  77. Anon, you're adorable.

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  78. I wonder if she turns to stone with a mirrored object. If anyone's a cursed gorgon, it's Donna. Sorry Medusa, you're just like, a poseur in comparison ;)

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  79. i remember in the past on this blog i was trying to remember a song that i had heard one time on the radio and zoe was trying to help me... i thought the chorus went "let it go"... we couldn't figure it out

    anyway, i was in a store a few days ago and they played the same song on the radio there and it turns out the name of the song was "dead and gone", a rap song with justin timberlake

    nothing great (though with a title that would have been perfectly apt at that time) but here it is:

    too long

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  80. I don't need to write stuff to be gorgony. Just catching my gaze seems to be generally enough.

    That's not part of the myth though, Medusa seeing her own reflection.

    I suppose in my version it is, though. My ex was the mirror (and that's all he really was) and it did paralyze me.

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  81. medusa you won't believe this but i just remembered that my school teacher called me Medusa too when he saw my hair out in a play i was in.
    I've wondered for a while if people's hair reflects their personality. Mine certainly reflects mine. If i was different, i'd straigten it and tame it, but i leave it natural. It's curly/wavy and thick. I have days i love it, days when i want to do a britney and shave it all off. It's too much sometimes.

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  82. why does anon pick her/his targets separately? do you have a list dear?

    jerk.
    I won't have anything said about people i like. So there.

    WV badio

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  83. nice song aspie. like the chorus

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  84. Have any sociopath on here got phobias? Fear of heights, maybe?

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  85. Looking into the mirror of my lover's eyes, I saw myself. Now that the mirror is broken, I am paralyzed.

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  86. I liek mirrors cause they are cool and they make me look like a good guy

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  87. Water.

    It's the only thing that freaks me out.

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  88. i'll only communicate with funny anons tonight. So you better up your game.

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  89. I like mirrors cos they make me look like a girl.

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  90. the sound of my cellphone battery dying. That gives me the heeby geebies.

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  91. does anyone ever feel lonely?

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  92. Why go for the witty comment? Now they are expecting from you dumb ass.

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  93. 8========D niggers out

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  94. I was in a Cure tribute band for a bit, totally against my own principles. Hated it. Don't even like the Cure, and I think tribute bands are the gayest thing ever. Helped me get where I needed to get, though.

    The Robert Smith in the band was a six and a half foot giant monster narcissist child. Annoying as fuck all.

    Anyhow, off to roll heavy balls around with a bunch of grunting Id cavemen.

    Laters.

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  95. There you go again, every bi polar asshole is a narcissist.

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  96. have fun Medusa!

    Aspie,

    yes. It's quite normal.
    I think i'm very good at occupying myself though. I can feel lonely in a relationship or when I'm single. It doesn't make much difference. I think discomfort is how i'd describe it.
    I can feel lonely in a group of people, and i can feel somewhat content on my own. But definately, loneliness is an important feeling to recognise, since it gets you out and about.

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  97. He wasn't bipolar, just obnoxious in his attempts for attention.

    He mowed his lawn with a machete, for fuck's sake, and looked around while doing it to make sure everyone was watching.

    Otherwise he was a pretty nice guy.

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  98. Aspie, people are treating you like the retarded stepchild on here. Im the only one with respect for you, I can actually tell you you're a bum.

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  99. i'm not treating him in any way. just answering the question. When someone asks, i answer.

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  100. Stfu, I can spot habitual liars like you from a mile away, you're different from a pathological liar, when you get caught in a lie, you crap yourself, when I get caught in a lie I say so?

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  101. i think the cure has some good songs

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  102. first time i've been called a habitual liar, but if you say so, it must be true. Interesting, another quirk to add to my list.

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  103. aspie, *I* adore that song. And the anons aren't even being clever, just rude and baiting. Predictable troll is still predictable.

    I'm not sure if your lonely comment was directed to everyone, but sure, I get lonely. Most of the time I get lonely for a specific person. the closest way I can describe it is if you are generally well-fed and you get hungry for something specific, not just regular-old hungry. For the most part I'm good, I have strong lengthy, healthy friendships with people I can depend on, a great job that fulfills my creative side and pays more than just a living wage....
    But there are people I miss desperately, or, perhaps more aptly, there are particular interactions that the exact style of was so unique and so wholly gratifying that I miss either the person that I had that kind of connection with, or the period of time with them where our connection reached that level. The scenario only seems to last so many moments in the grand scheme of things and no matter what I feed myself I still crave that particular thing.

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  104. aspie, do you enjoy The Smiths also?

    And does anyone want to do an armchair diagnosis of Morrissey? I wonder if people consider him to be the same kind of personality diagnosis whether they like, dislike or are indifferent to him.

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  105. I'd be inclined to say narcissist, but he doesn't seem to lack empathy. Histrionic? He's like a woman trapped in a mans body.

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  106. ooh, i love Morrisey. Hmm, i'm bad at diagnosing, so i'll leave it you.

    Morrissey

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  107. Stfu or I'll murder youJanuary 4, 2011 at 10:02 PM

    He's nothing special, faggots like him are a dime a dozen, Starbucks drinking, eating disordered pile of vomit.

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  108. Ha. a dime a dozen, but they didn't sell out MSG faster than the Beatles, did they? Plus a *real* sociopath wouldn't consider "faggot" to be derogatory. ;)

    Perhaps if you don't enjoy where the comment topics wander you should contribute something you think is more interesting that could be discussed.

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  109. aspie, my fave Smith song is "Rusholme Ruffians". I love the way it makes me think of Coney Island Summers and the 1950s.

    Is vegetarianism an eating disorder, anon? Because present-day Moz doesn't look underfed....

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  110. Stfu or I'll murder youJanuary 4, 2011 at 10:12 PM

    I'm here to berate you, whats to discuss? I'm not a psychopath, never said I was.

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  111. his music depresses me but i always love the unique melodies and the lyrics are always so upfront in a totally unpretencious way. He's like an introverted histrionic - is there such a thing? lol.
    i don't know. What do you think Amelia?

    He has that woe is me attitude, i know that.
    In an interview he basically said, 'what is there to laugh about?'

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  112. You're here to berate me? You only berated Morrissey, but I feel special that you tried(and failed). Thank you, please drive through.

    Notme- I always felt that "I Have Forgiven Jesus" was an audacious song. It makes me giggle.

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  113. Stfu or I'll murder youJanuary 4, 2011 at 10:18 PM

    I know where you live Amelia.

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  114. notme- I never thought about a personality diagnosis before. I think that he has changed somewhat in that he used to be very repressed sexually and seems to have embraced it since then. He seems to have empathy in his songs but not so much in real life. There is an excellent BBC documentary called "The Importance Of Being Morrissey" that is on YouTube in 6 parts.

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  115. It's only a matter of time before I track down which basement you're living in. I'm sure your parents won't know the difference for a few days as the body decay won't overwhelm over a decade of BO and cum too easily.

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  116. Panty Sniffing NarcJanuary 4, 2011 at 10:20 PM

    I'm going to rape you then steal a pair of you're panties as a trophy. Enjoy therapy.

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  117. Says a MAN who writes a blog. Do you have a diary too?

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  118. Wait, how much of this delightful attention is directed at me? Y'all are making me blush.

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  119. I love the lines, 'why did you give me so much desire, when there is no where i can turn to, to unlock this desire. Why did you stick me in, self-deprecating bones and skin, do you hate me, do you hate me, do you hate me, do you hate me, do you hate me????????' lols.

    Amazing lyrics in my book. I can see how it would be seen as funny too.
    Yeah, i think i saw that doc Amelia.

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  120. Lol, NotAble's an Internet Tough Guy and an Internet White Knight rolled into one.

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  121. Don't forget the Internet Anti-Hero with healthy doses of angst and remorse for deeds from a dark past :P

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  122. i think i got carried away with the 'do you hate me(s)' there.

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  123. I was thinking of going to therapy for fun, anyway.

    THIS is our angry anon, clearly ;)

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  125. i hope you guys appreciate that my internet history is packed full of links to gruesome things cos of you lot!!! I click on whatever you tell me to like a good little girl.

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  126. oh, shit, that was my first time making a link like that!

    Incidentally, TNP, I responded to you the other day after drunkenly writing "NPD" instead of "ASPD" and you informed me that my contributions were retarded (albeit not in so many words). But it was the next day and maybe you didn't read it.

    So as not to put you out I'll attempt a link HERE .

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  127. Drat. you have to scroll up a couple of inches. I literally just learned to link right this minute.

    notme- The Smiths do not make me sad at all. I find a refreshingly honest dark humor in the lyrics and a lot of jangly fun in the music.

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  128. TNP- research to "make sure" he is a sociopath, of course.

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  129. demons, the demons are back and now their going after Amelia!

    if something happens to me in the near future, the police are gonna have a hell of a riot connecting my death with all the gore and serial killer documentaries on my computer. aka. 'this girl had a death-wish - right, what's this sociopathworld all about - hm -' and then they'll be after all you lot!!!! haha

    just saying, don't say i didn't warn you!

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  130. Also, for fuck's sake, no one knows where I live. I've just accepted the offer of a new place today. And where I am now is not in my name in any way and I've only been here a week....
    neener-neener-neener.

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  131. Your real name wouldn't happen to start with an A, would it? ;)

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  132. Not me, when I say "funny" I mean....hmm, how do I mean it exactly? Not funny because I think it's funny like a joke, but hilarious at how relatable it is. I don't know. I have a weird sense of what is funny. My Netflix recommendations include hundreds of titles but none are "feel good" comedies. I think I prefer a "feel bad" comedy. if only that were a genre.

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  133. omg anon, that was terrible.

    that's it, i'm not clicking these links until someone i trust can tell me it's not disgusting/vile or pornographic.

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  134. oh, ok Amelia. i get you now. kind of. :)

    i thought you found it funny cos you found it overly self-important or something.

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  135. notme-Sorry. I have problems being properly descriptive when typing sometimes. I think I enjoy the overly-self-important qualities in general of Moz. I mean, isn't there a little part inside all of us that feels that way?

    For example, I recently rejected (in my head) a suitor. However, we were on a long road trip and as I didn't find him to be a terrible person or anything, just not for me I made nice until we got to our destination. I briefly fretted about how to break it to him gently. However, I have not needed to since I never heard from him again! (the NERVE! haha)

    Seriously, he was all up in this shizzle for a while and then *poof*. He disappeared right when I wanted him to. But I was still annoyed. Even though logically I have no right to be and I know I'd be more uncomfortable had I had to have "the talk" with him. (now that we are all bored to death). What is it that creates that sense of "how dare you?" when you don't really want that person anyway. I always joke "It's not about how much I like him, it's about how much HE is supposed to like ME." Which is half true.
    I think that it is this portion of my psyche that best "gets" Morrissey.

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  137. oh yeah, i see what you mean. The CHEEK of it, in my words. Hehe, you made me laugh.
    If you were a full blown narc you'd totally hate that guy and become totally intolerable towards him i expect.
    But, you don't stike me like that sort of person at all.

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  139. Try this again....Tonight I saw a guy do a cover of
    Up Jumped The Devil

    and I was reminded how much I love this song. The guy who covered it seemed like a totally delusions narc-y type. An old junkie who thinks he's brilliant, always name-dropping.

    The overwhelming neediness of narcissistic folks is exhausting.

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  140. notme- Oh, god, he was the polar opposite of my ex-socio and made me miss the socio all the more. he would sit there, cold or hungry or uncomfortable until I noticed and asked "are you hungry" and he'd look at me and say "Are *you* hungry?". It made me feel very stabby.
    He was constantly doing things for people and then getting resentful about all the selfless stuff he was doing. I was always like "then just say no! you cannot take care of people properly if you don't' take care of yourself first. And if you are doing enough to make yourself miserable and hateful then you need to cut that shit out."
    For fuck's sake, he's 33! Grow a pair of balls, for crying out loud. I'm the queen of getting too involved in helping people out, but, yanno, I make sure I'm well taken care of first. I definitely don't give anything I need or can't afford to give, including time.
    He really made me want to use him. Just his whole thing was like asking for it. No wonder he gets treated that way. That must be how many sociopaths feel about the majority of people.

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  141. i kinda like that song. Not heard much nick cave before.

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  142. notme- Nick Cave and his older band, The Birthday Party is awesome. I love his spooky minor chord murder ballads a LOT.

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  143. aspie- great Nirvana tune. I was too cool for school back in the day when they got popular and would only listen to bands that were nowhere near mainstream. But I developed quite an appreciation for them later when I (debatably) pulled my head out of my ass.

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  144. my older brother is a bit like that. Although, he doesn't at all complain god bless him, he just forgets to ask himself what he wants.

    i used to be like that, just a small smidgen. But i wouldn't voice it very often, just to myself. I'm sure i'm prone to being that way at any point in my life, (you know, the altruist who looks around and annoyedly feels like she's the only one). But i luckily have a selfish streak too - that self-important thing you were talking about, so it sort of helps i guess.

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  145. anyway, i should get some sleep.
    nice talking to you. :D

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  147. Cheers, dear! Sleep well!

    PS-Note if you are around, thanks for defending me to the big bad troll even if you consider me a pain int he ass! ;) (not that he/she/it could possible know where I live if he were the great and powerful Oz himself... still, thanks).

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  148. I wasn't defending you, but you're welcome :)

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  150. thanks Amelia, i changed my mind. I do that quite a bit.

    I just cleared my internet history. I've seriously seen more blood here than i have anywhere in my life. So, i'm somewhat cleansed now i suppose.

    Note, i wouldn't like to be on the wrong side of you i don't think. :)

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  151. Note- I know, it's a plague on all our houses, anyway, it is always annoying and always appreciated when anyone steps up. When I was a *really* young kid on the net and used newsgroups (haha, gothic newsgroups which were actually pretty great in the 90s) there was a team dubbed "alt.gothic-special forces" that would take out the trolls. It was pretty awesome. Even if it's just to kick 'tards out of your own sandbox, *I* couldn't do it, so I appreciate the efforts regardless of the motive.

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  152. notme- I think that there is a very big part of me that did that kind of thing for a long time. Then I truly realized that when you run yourself ragged for other people you not only feel like shit but you really don't have the capacity to take care of people properly. So instead of feeling guilty for taking care of myself I have turned my perspective into that if I keep myself sane, solvent and stable I have that much more reserve to do things for others when the situation arises. It just makes so much more sense and I'm happier, too, doing those things, never feeling used or resentful anymore. (ok, *rarely*)

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  153. i get harassed a lot on here and it's always nice when others chip in. I know they're usually not doing it to defend me but i pretend like they are and i'm all cheery again. hehe.
    Of course, if they are defending me specifically then that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside!

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  154. Ok, then, I'm completely clueless(prolly not a surprise to you!). I'd ask you to explain, but I just think that it wouldn't matter; you and I don't seem to mix well. The asshole anon seemed to sod off after that exchange, so I'm content enough in that.

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  155. inb4 pot calls kettle black

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  156. I totally agree Amelia. It's a lesson i learnt too.
    Selective empathy, in the same way high-functioning socios practise selective aggression (or whatever it is they dominate towards emotionally).

    It's not easy, i guess it's about being always conscious rather than being carried away.

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  157. there's a third option Amelia.
    Anon was being a prick to Note too. Unless Note can give a fourth option.

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  158. i thinks males are the more emotionally sensitive sex

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  159. Being a prick is fun, and Colonel Russel Williams can wear a bra like a champ.

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  161. You got me. I was looking for an excuse to use that pic for ages...

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  162. aspie- what makes you say that? I'm not sure one or the other sex is generally "more" emotionally sensitive, also, depending on what you mean by sensitive, you mean more touchy about things? Or more "in tune" with emotions? or something else?

    notme-if that anon was being a dick to Note then I guess it was either something here I must have missed or some ongoing thing. though...

    note-you said your intent was not de-trolling. So, unless you care to share with the class I will remain in the dark. Which is ok. I think my comprehension has deteriorated to almost nil at this point.

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  163. Every time I come in here there's useless banter exchanged amongst all of you.

    Why don't we discuss something productive? I mean I come over here when I'm bored but I'm never that bored.

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  164. yeah, it was before you got here Amelia

    I believe sensitivity is shared out equally among the sexes. It's less about gender and more about personality types. simple as that, from my awareness. For example, there are an equal number of men and women who are HSP.

    Perhaps it's one of those things where certain societies emphasise gender roles and so sensitive males are compromised in terms of expressing their sensitivity.

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  165. and are encouraged sometimes to be butch and arseholely.
    what fun.

    hey Loki! What's productive? - give us a topic.

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  166. Loki- most threads start out on-topin, i think, but when it gets late....well... after a certain hour sometimes people just get chatty.

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  167. Loki, it's about penetrating people's minds. You'd be amazed how much penetration happens here through chatter. teehee, i said penetration. You see, now you know i'm immature.

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  168. I'll ask a question of those who identify as sociopathish... I envy the ability of socios to look at things, even really intense things dispassionately. I tend to look *back* on things at a later date with chagrin or outright embarrassment at times due to being overwhelmed with my emotions; once i see them less emotionally I think about how I could have acted that would have been a better response. At the same time I wonder if this is the price I pay for not feeling that bone-melting boredom, restlessness and emptiness that seems to plague so many with ASPD-characteristics.

    Is there anything specific that you envy of empaths/neurotypicals?

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  169. Loki, maybe you should start your own blog? Would be nice to read stuff from another writer.

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  170. chronic restlessness and proneness to bone-melting boredom isn't exclusive to aspd, though i know you weren't saying that. I'm borderline and feel those things intensely.
    Empathy or lack thereof is not the issue.

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  171. i'm desperately trying to stay awake to pay my overdue rent.(it's early morning here). If i fall asleep now i won't wake up till after my landlord's gone home. So if the convo doesn't perk up i'm fucked.

    seems like the socios have gone to beddy byes Amelia.

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  172. @Amelia: I look back at situations and try to calculate where I could have improved the situation for future reference. I don't think there's anything odd about that. Possible emotions tied to such hindsight probably differ, but that's about it.

    Back on topic: Although people differ in certain things they expect/desire in the bedroom, there's a fair amount of commonalities between partners. Figuring out those differences isn't remotely challenging and can be easily accomplished and adapted on the fly. The Aspie did not so much seem incapable of doing such as much as she seemed unwilling to do so. In the bedroom, I aim to please and to control. The only time I get frustrated with someone is when they habitually do not want to engage in foreplay and only want intercourse. Foreplay is my favorite part, and if my needs are not met, the physical relationship holds no longstanding merit in my eyes.

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  173. reading the original story left me very cold.
    Of course, i suspect it's an exaggeration.

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  174. men are emotionally more complex

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