Sunday, January 2, 2011

Sociopath song: Runnin' out of fools

216 comments:

  1. The song reminds me of a few girls I've dated and a few others I talked to and almost dated. I say "few" because I'm singling out the ones specifically who closed me off. I always thought that maybe I had said something that offended them. Because of this I would become angry at them for no reason. It was their fault.

    I didn't realize until much later that I had manipulated them. Not just things, but their emotions. It made them feel foolish.

    I remember when my friend asked me if I felt bad for all of the people I'd used without even consciously thinking about it. All the people I had made "fools". I did, strangely enough, but only because I knew that I lost. It was a game that I couldn't play anymore. Attention I liked having that I could never have. I felt bad for making them leave, but not for the means that brought the end.

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  2. This song really brought out my neurotic side, but then I realised I could simply stop focusing on my neurotic side LOL this psychopathy thing isn't so bad after all

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  3. So, what you're saying Loki, is that you don't feel bad for what you did to them, just angry that you screwed up, no? Just want to clarify.

    Good song today.

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  4. Cool song man.

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  5. That's exactly what I'm saying.

    I used to deny that conclusion altogether because it made me sound like a terrible person. It still does, but I'm just more accepting. It's so funny because I remember knowing how different I was even as an adolescent. And I don't mean "Oh-Muh-Gosh-Teenage-Angst" different, but everything. It all fit. My thought patterns, behaviors, learning methods, it goes on and on.

    I remember watching shows like Criminal Minds and seeing my parents call the serial killers evil. I felt like my parents called me evil. Then I would do a mental double-take and be like, "Wait, what?". Lol

    I was diagnosed so recently, I have quite a bit to say since I've found this place. I imagine that will fade over the week, however.

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  6. Do you consider yourself having good or rich imaginations? I like to write and consider myself having a pretty good imagination.

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  7. I write short stories constantly. My imagination is what creates a steady resting potential between myself and reality (sounds ironic when I say it out loud). But yeah, I consider myself to have a very good one.

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  8. My posts keep showing up about an hour or so after I post them. But only when I sign in and use my name (hence the green bold). Annoying but I suppose they'll show up eventually.

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  9. I have a good imagination but I have problems expressing it. I write in a journal almost every day and I like to write poems but those ideas are fleeting and I don't work at it at all.

    I think people who experience different mental situations are by nature artistic and imaginative. I can think of the world in ways I would never express to my family or friends because I know they'll just roll their eyes and tell me to stay in reality. So I'm not really myself around them. I should be around more intelligent people even if I'm not on the same plane. That's why I like coming here because even though I don't relate to the sociopathic thinking or behavior, I admire their ability to express themselves. Plus I’m not over the ex socio boyfriend yet. I mean it’s taking forever!!! I hate it.

    Loki, that used to happen to me but now I refresh the page and my post will show right away.

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  10. Admire our ability to express ourselves? Are you serious? We are the most secretive of people, we don't trust others, so why the heck would we tell them a thing? When people tell me about their abnormal thinking i usually roll my eyes too.

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  11. Anon 8:48, you may be that special case where you stay secretive for all enternity, but there are a few that express themselves honestly. It is up to the reader whether or not to take it personally, literally, figuratively, or as fabricated entertainment. Either way, however it is interpreted to the reader is all that matters, whether what was written was a lie or not.

    Grace, I usually like to hear what you have to say, as well as the other females with sociopathic exes. Hearing from your end helps me understand what may have went on in my ex's head.

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  12. A sociopaths mind isn't as dark and mysterious as it's made put to be, once you get to know us you'll realise how dull and repetitive we are. Personally i think normal people are bigger freaks than sociopaths are.

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  14. once you get to know us you'll realise how dull and repetitive we are.

    (i.e. the rote retelling of their "epic" adventures.)

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  15. I've always liked listening to stories. The, what do you call it, oral tradition? I could listen to other people's stories all day. I like going to bars, especially with older patrons that like to share their fading gems.

    @Loki: Really long posts, or posts with links get sent to the spam filter pretty often. Sometimes you have to break them up into separate sections. That, or you're having some browser cache issues.

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  16. Didn't want to chat about your literary career, Note? :P

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  17. Well I'll just repost it then.

    TheNotablePath
    So, what you're saying Loki, is that you don't feel bad for what you did to them, just angry that you screwed up, no? Just want to clarify.

    That's exactly what I meant. I've just accepted that now. It's what I do when I meet people. Unless I find their personalities to represent a part of myself which I value highly (like my best friend). Then they become an extension of myself.

    I remember knowing I was different from adolescence and that fact was a big reason. No one else seemed to treat friendship or companionship the same way I did (which was very poorly as I now know). I think I always knew, once I began examining and comparing my thought patterns, learning methods, and so on.

    It brought up a funny memory. I used to watch Criminal Minds in high school, and my parents would complain about how evil the serial killers were. Any time they did I felt attacked and rationalized the killer's behavior. I had to make a mental double-take once and was like, "Wait, What?". Lol

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  18. Depends on the killer, if he killed like 50 victims and was an interesting character, I'd defend them. If he was your average 4 prostitute psychopath i wouldn't defend them.

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  19. I know what you mean, Loki. Not specifically with Criminal Minds (only seen 2-3 episodes) but the "villain" in general.

    I found this article somewhat entertaining, especially #6, #4 and #1.

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  20. I don't like to read the violent pieces here. I mean the dramatic ones anyway. Some are fake and stupid. Some are interesting in a way that I can see the mechanics of the thinking behind them. That's what interests me with that. I don't see sociopaths as secretive as much as I see them mysterious. I don't mean that in a flattering way as much as a lack of understanding on my part. I have secrets too and their common and boring, any mysterious elements I have are seen just not understood.

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  21. Yeah, I mean I rationalized all of it just because I understood. Where someone would say, "How could he strangle 4 women to death?" I would say, "They made him angry. You walk around hoping people don't notice you or talk to you. Imagine if the only thought that managed to burrow out of your skull and into the shallow conscious was the urge to pick up a blunt object and smash someone in the face over and over and over. Now imagine feeling that for 26 years." They still didn't get it.

    Another funny thing is how my friends told me to watch "House" for about a year. They said he was just like me. I rationalized his behavior too (although I realize one could more easily play devil's advocate here). My fraternity brothers call me House too. That one stuck because of a different reason though.

    Notable, the article was cool. Although #1 brings up a point I've wanted to address. They lump sociopath in with "...impaired ability to tell the difference of right from wrong."

    I myself can differentiate right from wrong, but I do have habits and behaviors that I do impulsively or without notice. Some of these are deemed within the "immoral" area of the ethics community. But after the fact (or during on some occasions) I do know what is right and wrong. But most of the time even when I see it, I still choose what to do, whether it is considered right or wrong. I can do it without wavering.

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  22. Eww! you are like house? I come off as a tom cruise sociable type of dude. But of course I'm more of a BTK in private.

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  23. High functioning 101 - hide the inner prick. That's all for today class! You can all go now, Sharon you stay behind for a moment.

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  24. They were my friends from high school. I was 16 and let my guard down around friends. I know better now. Hence why my fraternity brothers know me as House, but not because of my personality.

    I'd have to say my personality matches him in everyday situations unless I want something. Even when you act like an asshole, no one expects you to have no conscience.

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  25. Yes... But it's from a surgery I had lol. That's actually why my fraternity calls me House. I needed a cane for about two months. It's lost in my apartment somewhere now.

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  26. Loki, i used to think people looked up to me when i acted like an asshole, how wrong i was! Nobody in their right mind likes to be around someone like that unless they invite punishment or they are a complete imbecile.

    I woke up when a brave companion told me that people hate being around me because i drain them with my negativity and hate. House might be nice to watch but people with that attitude don't last very long in a business setting. I've never watched the show or followed it but i assume he is a major A hole.

    I didn't want to change my behavior to suit them, it was more from a learning experience.

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  27. Lol, i didn't read you're comment properly.

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  28. Aww, that's too bad. I thought you might be someone I knew/half-dated in college.

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  29. That's just my usual disposition. Those who tolerate it I hang around, and for those who don't I alter my behavior. I'm sure as hell not going to change the way I think for anyone, but I understand that my behavior brings with it a certain vibe. I learned this years ago. Working in sales actually helped me work on that. Good lessons.

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  30. Agreed, i am way too impulsive to ingrain respect into my self.

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  31. "I found this article somewhat entertaining, especially #6, #4 and #1."

    The author of this article, do you think s/he is a socio?

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  32. Sorry (no not really) to be off topic, but this is the current discussion.

    I am unsure whether I am a sociopath or BPD, or whatever. I certainly take risks, no respect for law, am bored easily, parasitic, feel no remorse for stealing, etc. all except hurting pets...well *mine* at least.

    Just wanted to know if most of you socios have any paranoia? If you enjoy your own pets?

    I have a decent amount of paranoia even though Im a impulsive risk taker. Not sure if it's in addition to my possible sociopathy or part of it.

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  33. I have paranoia to the point of it being a personality disorder, i always think people are bashing my image. I'm a malignant narcissist, so yes i abuse my pets on occasion.

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  34. this guy I suspect to be a socio actually makes it a point to rescue/fix sick cats. he even keeps one blind (one big hole in one eye), one no back leg, one no front leg as pets at home. his caring for these animals... is that caring or is that enjoying being around the sick and feeling like doing something to impress others, especially his mom? yes, he is parasitic, and yes totally in love with his mom who has NPD traits

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  35. Why would that make you think he is a sociopath? Most of the ones i know don't get along with their parents, they control and degrade them. Family means nothing to a sociopath.

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  36. Loki/PostModernSocio/TNP/The Question, are you fe/male? gay? bi? Sorry, new here.

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  37. he hates dad. but mom seems special. you mean that can't happen to a socio?

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  38. Not that i have witnessed, i knew one and i seen him with my own eyes abusing his father and laughing, sickening.

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  39. When people like you I find they will do an extraordinary amount of things for you and often without even being asked!

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  40. Mood/temperament. The core diagnostic feature of the characteristic mood and temperament of Dominant individuals is irritability; they have an excitable temper that they may at times find difficult to control. More exaggerated variants of the Dominant pattern tend to be cold and unfriendly; they are disinclined to experience and express tender feelings, and have a volatile temper that flares readily into contentious argument and physical belligerence. The most extreme variants of this pattern evince pervasive hostility and anger; they are fractious, mean-spirited, and malicious, with callous disregard for the rights of others. Their volcanic temper seems perpetually primed to erupt, sometimes into physical belligerence. More than any other personality type, people with this extreme variant of the Dominant pattern are willing to do harm and persecute others if necessary to have their way. All variants of this pattern are prone to anger and to a greater or lesser extent deficient in the capacity to share warm or tender feelings, to experience genuine affection and love for another, or to empathize with the needs of others. (Millon, 1996, p. 486; Millon & Everly, 1985, p. 32)

    ^ That's a sociopath.

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  41. i was hoping to get some explanation to owning sickly pets..

    killing a robin:
    http://www.alteredfocus.net/robin-redbreast/#more-2500

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  42. Paranoia is not a sociopathic trait, though many sociopaths have a reason to be paranoid.
    I love my mother, don't listen to GRK (anonymous). He doesn't know any sociopaths, and he loves his dogs (we saw pictures).
    There is no explanation for owning sickly pets. Honestly, sociopaths are human beings. Not every single act they do is tied into a symptom of his/her personality disorder.

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  43. Honestly, sociopaths are human beings. Not every single act they do is tied into a symptom of his/her personality disorder.

    THIS. So much this.

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  44. "THIS. So much this."
    ???

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  45. The Question
    Sorry (no not really) to be off topic, but this is the current discussion.

    I am unsure whether I am a sociopath or BPD, or whatever. I certainly take risks, no respect for law, am bored easily, parasitic, feel no remorse for stealing, etc. all except hurting pets...well *mine* at least.

    Just wanted to know if most of you socios have any paranoia? If you enjoy your own pets?

    I have a decent amount of paranoia even though Im a impulsive risk taker. Not sure if it's in addition to my possible sociopathy or part of it.


    Try it. I had to. Once I got the diagnosis I got back to my apartment a little awe struck. I decided to have some experiments over the week. I killed a cat, purposefully manipulated people to pay for things for me, and so on.

    Keep it in check, but try it.

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  46. I hate sounding like such a kiss ass, but once again I agree with your last comment UKan.

    Anon 1:06, what do you not get?

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  47. I'd say I'm more cautious than paranoid, but I don't think that has a lick to do with my personality, and more with personal experience. I certainly wasn't that way when I was young, and I've been sociopathic for as long as I can remember.

    @Anon: Male, prefer women.

    I also care deeply for my father. He's always been there for me but was stern enough to not let me get into too much trouble, a pretty stern guy. I didn't really know my mother much, except when I was quite young. Didn't form any bonds, probably because I didn't have a chance to.

    Oh, and good to see you out of the woodwork, Justice :)

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  48. My socio said he likes his food cold. Is that a sociopath thing? Do you like your food cold, because your cold blooded?

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  49. I only eat ice cubes.

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  50. Actually I pour nails into a bowl of gasoline every morning and eat them like cornflakes.

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  51. I eat posers for breakfast.

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  52. Hah it's been said.

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  53. mosquito loves my cold blood

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  54. TNP is paranoid.

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  55. Who is mosquito?

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  56. I'm pretty sure that the real notme knows how to spell cock.

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  57. I'm a hermaphrodite and I'll fuck anybody, plus animals.

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  58. Isn't it poseur?

    I prefer poseurs with supper's dessert, actually. Breakfast? I guess I don't have the sweet tooth I used to.

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  59. "I'm a hermaphrodite and I'll fuck anybody, plus animals."

    ........Call me.

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  60. Anon 1:06, what do you not get?

    I don't get the english, being my second language.

    THIS. So much this. ????

    İs that how a constipated bi says 'I agree with what's said?' Or, am I way off?

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  61. Who's constipated? Or bi, for that matter?

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  62. generally whoever asks

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  63. "I don't get the english, being my second language."

    You said that like somebody made it your second language. Who is your Dom?Daddy?

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  64. Whoever is the fudge-packee, may be constipated. That's why people do erotic enema's, but you need to do it before you're impacted.

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  65. I fart feathers. My grandmother feeds me a lot of chicken because it's cheap and we are dirt poor potato farmers.

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  66. punctuation: is all i understand?

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  67. Anon. How many men do you think i've slept with?! Interesting...not.
    Anyway, i'm clearly a lesbian.

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  68. had been curious about that

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  69. Ok, it's obvious to even me that none of this is notme. And I have a terrible time spotting impostor comments.

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  70. Duh, of course it's not you.

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  71. No, not "not me". But not the regular poster "notme". But you knew that already, didn't you?

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  72. Anyone else have anything to add on the bit about imagination?

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  73. since there's no socios answering, i'll say something. I think there are different kinds of imagination. I have a strong imagination but it comes purely from my emotions, from a visceral place first.

    I don't really make up stories. I don't dig deep enough into other people's lives/minds to care about writing stories about fictional characters.

    I can write fiction, but it has to relate to me and my own experiences somehow, otherwise, i get bored. I'm so self-absorbed it's criminal. ;)

    So, i'd say i have a hyperactive emotional imagination, if that makes sense. But not your kind of imagination Note. Am i making sense? i don't know.
    Maybe what i'm describing is not even what you'd call 'imagination'?

    Amelia, the only real notme was at 2.47 FYI.
    and this one.

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  74. notme- Thanks for clearing that up! ;)

    I've got some imagination, some creativity, but I generally need some kind of outside catalyst to provoke it. I lack a vision or a muse, I suppose. I can take a suggestion, an assignment or an idea and run with it, but I have very little ability to conjure such thing up on my own.

    As for the comment about sociopaths being humans and that not everything is derived specifically from sociopathy, I think I needed to hear that. It's too easy to get caught up in analyzing the minutiae with a socioscope when some actions are just what they are.

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  75. As an empath I see a lack of imagination with the socio's, thats not to say that thier stories aren't interesting but they are one dementional.
    Writing it out might have something to do with it.

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  76. My imagination is grand, i see myself on top of the mountain, looking down on you monkeys, none of you are in my imagination.

    word - somalies HAHAHAHAHHAA

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  77. I think Notable is a pretty cool guy because hes a cool guy and doesnt afraid of anyone

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  78. Hey, newfag above. It's "I think NotAble is a pretty cool guy. Eh makes walls o' text and doesnt afraid of anything."

    Lurk more.

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  79. I wouldn't spend my time researching that dumb shit, so i guess the jokes on you.

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  80. Go back to your furry forum and learn to troll.

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  81. Imposter notme, sparkles, anons, you all deserve medals just for figuring out how to work a computer.

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  82. I must admit. I love "DidHeDiedGuy".

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  83. haahahahhahhahahahaaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!turtles

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  84. KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL

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  85. Redundancy in trolling...

    YOU BASTARDS

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  86. i've had a gigantic breakthrough about my life! It's called taking a gamble!!

    kerching! :DDD

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  87. Is that actually you, Aerianne? Your account was hacked the other day...

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  88. are you frigging kidding me? what's the point in me setting up an account if people can hack into it!!

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  89. do you socios ever feel two emotions at the same time?

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  90. i wanna blow gary ridgeway

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  91. you're disgusting and who is gary ridegway?

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  92. My account hasn't been hacked. I don't know what Note is talking about.

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  93. Your link took me to a spam site, and your blogs are gone. Explain.

    (don't copy the link listed in that post unless you have NoScript)

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  94. Yesterday you posted a link to a spam site and all your blog posts are gone. Explain.

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  95. My blog posts are gone because I took them down.
    I don't know what you're talking about when you say I posted a link to a spam site. What was the link?

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  96. Notable fails at getting the joke. Sad, really.~

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  97. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  98. Yeah, he does, Post.

    I have replied, but since it contains an actual link we will have to wait until the spam filter decides to spit it out.

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  99. While we are waiting for my reply to make it through, I will say that I wouldn't post a link to a spam site, Note.

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  100. I'll try to post my reply to Note, again.

    If you are talking about me saying "I like it here at mpdworld.com (Multiple Personality Disorder) that was a joke referencing all the troll personalities and not a link.

    This is a link

    Links are highlighted and actually link to something if you click on them.

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  101. Okay, my reply with the link in it has vaporized twice. When they appear I will take down the duplications.
    In the meantime, Note, I didn't post a link yesterday. Links are highlighted and clickable.
    What's with your suspicious and condescending attitude anyway?

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  102. well, i don't know what anyone is going on about! and frankly my dears, i don't give a damn :D


    WV shiet

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  103. I have a random question for anyone who's willing to answer.

    I just got back from a party and noticed something which has come to my attention many times before (except now it stuck for longer than 5 minutes).

    I can interact well in groups, but too many faces and people to read gives me a new persona. One on one I can become anybody's best friend. This was an easy skill to master. However, if more than three or four people group up along with me for some random activity or conversation, I can't stick. I can't keep one mask. I take all of them and form them together, meshing portions of their personality with a love for attention and throw it back at them.

    I have to say, and not proudly, that this is the one thing I cannot control. I cannot filter so many personas. They just become a poorly molded "life-of-the-party" type. Not too many people in said parties take notice to it. Especially because we're all drinking.

    Any of you guys have this issue? I'd like to fix this, or at least find a way around it. It's frustrating because, like I said, it's the only thing I can't control.

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  104. I was being condescending? I think you're reading too much into that text.

    Next time I'll say website address, you goddamn net-nazi. No rest...

    As far as MPD goes, no, I did not get it (though I do now, thanks). I copied the address and saw whatever site that was, and then clicked on your now currently blank blog. I was dismayed by the lack of my drunken proposals that once were housed at your blog, and assumed you were consumed by e-grues as I put on my tin foil hat and cut the power to my flat.

    I was terrified that night and not being able to use my heater was annoying. When I woke up and found out the Russians were in fact, not in America and Glenn Beck was not the new King of America, I took a sigh of relief.

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  105. Note, you never sent any drunken proposals to my blog. Maybe you've confused me with someone else.

    I have no idea what the hell you're rambling about with Glenn Beck and Russians, except that you did call me "communist scum" here on Friday night, which still makes no sense in my mind.

    I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you're drunk now.

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  106. Aerianne - has Notable been making drunken proposals to you?
    Lordy Note, you bigamist.

    I do get the MPD thing actually. Note threw me off. Classic gaslighting.

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  107. Were you not the one proposing we have a toast or something? I proposed I would toast any day, any time (within reason)

    It seems you were the one who didn't 'get the joke' this time.

    Oh, but that wasn't being condescending though. I was just being cheeky. Just so there's no further confusion. ;)

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  108. Yes, Note, I recall the vote I opened my blog for. I asked what was a good day to have a cyber toast among the members here and I asked for votes via replies to my blog. You voted for any time and notme voted for any time. You calling that one vote your "drunken proposals" was what made me think you were confused about what you'd sent to whom.

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  109. when someone uses the word 'cheeky' it instantly makes them sound all innocent.

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  110. Loki, you're legitimate discussion shouldn't be overlooked.

    I can't answer. I don't have that happen to me.

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  111. Loki, i can't answer you either since i'm not a socio. But i do know that a few socios here have talked about finding large groups of people difficult to process for one reason or another. Perhaps a nice altruistic socio will come around in a sec to offer some advice. ;)

    Is that good enough for you? sheesh.

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  112. a cigarette is calling me...
    notme, notme, take me baby, take me!

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  113. @Loki: I know what you mean.

    In large crowds though (8+) I typically don't talk much. In smaller crowds I'll be more choosy about what I say.

    My socio co-worker did however point out during a smoke break how I'd flip from one persona to another, just turning my back to talk to someone else, and he thought it was amusing. I've been working on that.

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  114. Can any of the sociopaths that are currently online shed some light on their relationships with their siblings. M.e. gave me an interesting perspective via email but I need a few more examples to give in my paper.

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  115. to clarify. I am in a masters program and I am writing a paper on this subject.

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  116. I feel excluded. Pardon me while I cry in the corner until I get my way.

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  117. Anonymous
    Can any of the sociopaths that are currently online shed some light on their relationships with their siblings. M.e. gave me an interesting perspective via email but I need a few more examples to give in my paper.

    Yeah, I have a sister. I tortured her when we were kids. And I don't mean your normal sibling rivalry. I pushed my sister down the stairs, attached jumper cables to her back, shoved her into lakes before she learned how to swim. I remember shouting right after I'd do it, "Don't tell mom and dad! I'm sorry, don't tell them!" Lol. I also ridiculed her until she cried. Just because I was having a bad day, or even sometimes for no reason.

    Now though, I'm better. My family knows how I am so any time I try to ridicule my sister she laughs. Any time I hit her, she hits me back. I find it amusing. We're a bit closer because she understands our parents as much as I do. [Narcissistic father and such.] She turned out being the exact opposite of me though. My sister is incredibly sensitive. I think we started to become closer when she came to seek my guidance on how to numb her "heart". Again, amusing.

    That should help.

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  118. Narc daddys seem to be a recurring theme here.

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  119. what you on about TNP?




    WV: slent (that should so be a word - as in, i slyly lent some money...)

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  120. Can I ask what shitty online university gives one the ability to gather data for any paper on anonymous blogs? In a Master's program, no less?

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  121. narc daddys are the scourge of the earth. and they beget more narcs.

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  122. I'm not exactly sure where I want to go with it. The subject of my paper has been approved but I haven't had to narrow it down yet. Do you feel any connection to your siblings, loyalty, closeness of any sort. Also, (if this applies to anyone) do you notice a difference in your relationship with a sociopathic sibling vs. a non-sociopathic sibling?

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  123. Lmao. I just realized my posts are huge. My apologies. I write short stories and brainstorm ideas all the time. The few times a day that I come on here I'm still in the writing mode.

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  124. My younger brother and I talk about math, chemistry, physics, and so on. What do you mean "closeness"?

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  125. Anonymous
    I'm not exactly sure where I want to go with it. The subject of my paper has been approved but I haven't had to narrow it down yet. Do you feel any connection to your siblings, loyalty, closeness of any sort. Also, (if this applies to anyone) do you notice a difference in your relationship with a sociopathic sibling vs. a non-sociopathic sibling?

    Connection? Yes. We lived through the same family experiences from almost the same perspective viewpoint.

    Loyalty? No.

    Closeness? The value I measure it on is most likely different from yours. I'm not close with anyone. Even my sister doesn't know what activities I participate in or what I do during the day. Only what I tell her. But compared to everyone else, she is one of the closest.

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  126. I obviously can't use this as a credible source since everything here needs to be taken with a grain of salt, but I am allowed to incorporate a little bit of material from here just to keep the paper interesting and to give me a little direction when I do further research.

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  127. Loki, are you my arsehole brother?
    My brother was a shite to me - but we were always close and he says I'm his favorite girl in the world.
    Loki, my bro was not that bad at all, but it didn't matter since i was so hyper sensitive that what he did do really upset me. He almost killed me once, by accident, as he thought he was helping me! lol. It's basically that he didn't perceive where he was crossing the line. He doesn't have that sensitive ability to pick up on people's pain.

    He'd trap me in a room and i'd start crying cos i didn't want to talk to him. It would give me mild panic attacks but he'd keep going. The little fucker. But seriously, now we're older, he's the brother i turn to for advice since he's very patient and unemotional. I can't turn to my other bro cos he's too sensitive and reactive sometimes.

    It's a special bond i guess. I've always been my brother's number one supporter and i think now we're older, he really appreciates that.

    He's not a socio, i don't think - but i think he has tendencies in that direction most definately. Btw, my dad's probably a narc too and my mum is a strong empath.

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  128. Good enough. Only prodding. :D

    Define this "connection" you're asking about. I don't really get it. Don't be shy with the technical terms, if necessary.

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  129. Just email us or something. I can tell you that while this source is useful, it would almost be like wikipedia. Use it to gain a background knowledge of, but never the facts. Unfortunately without walking into a prison and interviewing diagnosed sociopaths, we're the best source you've got.

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  130. I think the only reason I was close to my father is because we moved so much and I've known him longer than anyone else. I didn't live in one place for longer than a few years, had no 'life long' friends or family otherwise that I knew very well. As I alluded to earlier, no siblings.

    I wasn't really close to my dad though until several years after I graduated college. I was pretty much a complete dick to him up until then. When I became his caregiver and he let his shell of pride down, things changed.

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  131. Thank you, actually what I am getting from your responses is that I need to rephrase my questions. Closeness is clearly not the right word to use when asking about a sociopaths relationship with a family member.

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  132. @notme

    Same with my parents. Dad is a narcissist and Mom is a heavy empath, although with some of her actions I almost perceive compensatory narcissist.

    The only way I can describe the way I was towards my sister was pure boredom. I would never kill her or seriously injure her, our connection (as stated earlier) is enough to more than prevent that. But as a child we were always together. If I wasn't playing video games, I was torturing her. I found it funny, but didn't like when she got mad at me.

    Eventually, that feeling stopped altogether. I didn't care if I hurt her. [Although I still would never majorly injure her of any kind.]

    I'd have to say that my mom and dad had a lot to do with the way I am. As far back as I can remember I had sociopathic tendencies, but my Dad's attitude, behavior, and the way he treated me only made it worse.

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  133. actually thinking more about my bro it's striking how different we are in terms of empathy. We really, really are very far apart on the empathy scale. The only thing that stops short of me calling him a socio is that he's not violent, or impulsive or anything. He's just a 'typical' guy who's very low and selective with his empathy. It's that which makes me wonder. But, like i said, i hesitate to label him and i won't.

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  134. My sister thought the same of me until I told my family about the diagnosis from the psychologist. Then everything seemed to piece together for them. I was never "violent" per say. And the things I did to my sister she always assumed were just typical brother-sister behavior. At least now she had a label. Funny, the first thing she said to me was, "Do you want to talk about it?".

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  135. Going to sleep. Shoot me an email, researcher. Click my name, click the email link.

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  136. Loki, was he abusive to you?
    My dad was physically abusive to my mum whenever he was around (only once or twice a year, thank heavens), but never, ever to his kids. I actually feel sorry for the guy, (though i fucking shouldn't). He has such a need to be in control of everyone, which is impossible to actually achieve.
    The abuse to his kids was unconcious and far more insidious at the end of the day.

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  137. He was stressed about work when he came home. That made it worse. It was actually the opposite. All of my father's anger was directed at me. I always saw that he held a deep fear of my mother leaving him, so he didn't touch her. My sister was his "little girl", and she got some yelling but not much else.

    I got the worst. It started as physical abuse, but not typical. He didn't punch me or anything. He would come home from work stressed out, so his fuse was short. When I did something wrong he yelled at me until his entire face was red, no matter what the issue, and poked me. It sounds really stupid when you read it (pokes o' death), but when you're 4-8 years old and your father's pokes on your face or chest put you against the wall/ground and leave major bruises or stop you from breathing, it's a big deal.

    When I was 11 I started to use it to my advantage though. I made sure my mom watched. She would yell at him, and I got to watch him cower in fear of rejection.

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  138. lol, and did you wanna talk about it?

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  139. i mean when your sister asked you

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  140. She knows. She saw it happen on occasion. Whenever she's asked me I've told her. I have never hidden my feelings towards my father. In fact, in his age the only thing he craves is love from his family. The lengths he goes through just to hear me say, "I love you, Dad." It's disgusting. I use it for leverage lol.

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  141. i'm closer to my siblings than my parents. As in, i've lost respect for my parents and from a survival aspect it makes sense. Your siblings are gonna be around for a lot longer than your parents. So, sticking by them helps me.

    And i'm very loyal to them as they are to me. Just in different ways i suppose. There are different ways to be loyal. The way i am to them, is not the way they are to me, but it sort of balances out in the long-run i guess. It's never perfect and anyone can let you down, family or not. But, it's as good as it gets for now.

    I don't like to generalise, it's just that that is my family dynamic. I presume it's different for everyone.

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  142. my dad definately has that tendency to want us to pay attention to his ailments etc. He always remembers and recounts to me the times i've shown care towards him, with satisfied joy all over his face. Shame he has to be such a combustible, control-freak the rest of the time. Lol.

    I seem to have inherited a lot from him. ouch. But, he is extremely charming when he wants to be. ;)

    bedtime.

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  143. Honestly, sociopaths are human beings.

    What wouldn't be representative of a "human being" to a person who consciously and constantly assembles themselves to be relevant for whoever or whatever the focus is on?

    Anyone without;
    Love of christmas and presents?Obedient girlfriends/husbands/children/employees? Obsession to have a personal legacy and "tips for people buttons to press" guidebook? More than 1000 facebook friends? ;-)

    Could this pedantic attention about being "human" be a kind of xenophobia? A censored variant of "the dress young thugs in brown uniforms and arm bands kind?"

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  144. Lot of questions, let me see if I can answer them all and ask one more (if this discussion is even still going...)

    I'm male, straight.

    Loki, when I kill some small animal does it have to be a cat? Do I need to torture it? I've been looking for a sure fire method of deciding if I'm a sociopath or just very similar. Reason I ask about cats is I like my pets, cat being one of them. They're useful to me. Don't know if its affection or not but there ya go.

    When I was young I semi tortured my sister. Not as bad as Loki, but I'd feed on her phobias and fears. (such as bugs) and I didn't know when to stop. I had an emotionally abusive father, don't think he was narcissistic though.

    Loki- I have the exact same problem with crowds. I can charm almost anyone to do anything given the time and opportunity one on one or two on one. But anything 3+ I can't keep my masks/manipulations straight. However, there is some light (hehe) I've been developing a general mask to use as a backup. Just look at someone charming in large crowds and build toward that. Its pretty simple really.

    Umm other than that I generally hate my extended family and try to subtley torture them when I can (I'm all about subtle).

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  145. What is this ridiculous "test if I'm a sociopath" bullshit? You either are or you aren't. How does killing a cat prove anything other than that, surprise, you're higher on the food chain? If you have to prove it to yourself, that seems like as good an indication as any that you actually suffer from Special Snowflake Syndrome.

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  146. I could write a 100 volume tome about my family dynamic. Never seen anything like it (yes my family is a special snowflake).

    We are like if you took all of America and it's history and compacted it down into a family of six. Each of us a different representation of something larger.

    Can't say much more as I still only have phone access right now, but I will say I was the emotional and physical punching bag/garbage bag for everyone in my family, except my father.

    And now my life is about recycling all the trash that might be of use.

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  147. postmod-

    well how are we supposed to tell? I'd imagine most of us don't trust fucking shrinks.

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  148. Before I answer that, explain to me how "killing a cat" equates to "sociopath".

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  149. Because what non-socio would go out and kill a cat for fun/self-discovery?

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  150. And that flawed logic has led you to the conclusion that killing a cat will somehow prove that you're a sociopath?

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  151. Although it may not be entirely sociopathy related, I'm still interested if you're interested. Particularly if you are able to articulate possible historical connections to what you are.

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  152. Furthermore, Anon, consider sport hunters. They kill all sorts of animals for fun, rather than food, so the motive is the same. Are all these people sociopaths? Or are you suggesting that the fact that the animal in question is a cat somehow makes it special?

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  153. Then how could one tell? How do you know you are one?

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  154. Posmo you're really hung up on about that anon killing a cat. Is that your new year's resolution? Anyhow Happy New Year.

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  155. I don't. I haven't seen a psychiatrist, so I don't know. I've done a lot of research on the subject (books, interviews, blah blah blah), so I'm fairly certain, but I'm not a doctor. I might just be a regular old heartless bastard.

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  156. I am America's garbage dump!

    And for some reason that translates into a persona that makes me appear uber-cool in the eyes of others, to the point of being iconic and untouchable.

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  157. @Medusa: It's the snake hair, I'm sure of it.~

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  158. How do you *know* though? It bugs me. I've hunt and killed plenty of things. Never pets though. I'm an oddball. I have principles. I think all the nazis should burn for eternity. If I had a chance I'd torture each one. But I have no sad/sympathy feeling for the jews either. Ya know?

    I don't get what I am.

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  159. You read my mind about what I was just typing, Post:

    "Unwittingly turning 'em to stone since 19__."

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  160. Ouch! Fatalistic with a tinge of reppressed superiority. Hancock syndrome?

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  161. If you're really that concerned then go see a psychologist. You'll know if he/she thinks you have ASPD or something related. And if you don't, then he/she will actually help you.

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  162. Medusa: Hehe. "Reading minds since 19__".

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  163. I do have a really obnoxious signature, Gag.

    Generally takes up the whole receipt. The sig line is always too limiting.

    So, yeah.

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  164. Um won't the psych report me as being a danger to others? I'm pretty sure I remember that from psych 101.

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  165. Not if you aren't a danger to others.

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  166. Being a sociopath doesn't make you a danger to others. Being a violent asshole does. Just keep your trap shut about your desire to do violence and I'm sure you'll be fine.

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  167. I was about to say something about "Cowboys" when American History comes to mind. Now I'm thinking "Skunk". I'm guessing the the wild country is pretty vast so take your time.

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  168. So post, you aren't hypersensitive to sleights? And you are not impulsive?

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  169. I can separate fiction from reality. A slight on a comment thread is worth about as much attention as the evening news. In the real world, I am vengeful. As for impulsivity, yes, I suppose I'm impulsive.

    Did I say I wasn't either of those things?

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  170. If being the America that America denies is superiority, okay I'll take that and add it to my maze of mirrors.

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  171. Is it all that bad? At least the sources of your "comtemporary history" isn't limited to only a few perpectives.

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  172. Can you give examples of you're acted our vengeance? In the real world.

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  173. Anonymous, they would include feeling wronged (in whatever way, shape or form) and executing a punishment that does not fit the crime. This can be best shown in an example.

    This girl I knew in high school was dating my best friend, whom I have already stated is someone I'm close with. He is the closest to my personality minus the "dead inside" portion.

    She hung out with all of us, and I started to like her. I knew I could never do anything because she was dating my best friend but that didn't stop me from having fun with her (harmless flirting). One day, for some reason, we were talking and she brought up how she could never go out with someone like me. Her reasons, in hindsight, were valid. But I didn't care.

    I systematically ruined her life. I found out about her past and used it. I made my best friend dump her and hate her. I made sure all of her friends knew about her past and hated her. I completely isolated her from the ideal adolescent environment she once had. She was a straight A student with issues ranging from "annoyance with parents" to "minor drug experimentation". I recently found out she dropped out of college after one year and went into the porn industry while jumping from different rehab stations in her futile attempt to clean her narcotics addiction. I know I did this and I am proud.

    That's an act of twisted vengeance.

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  174. Was it rage? How long did you hold on to it?

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  175. Three years. Over time I spent less effort on it, but any opportunity that presented itself was taken to ensure her ruined life.

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