Monday, November 29, 2010

Sociopaths in the news: DecorMyEyes

I love this story of cyber bullying between the owner of online retailer "DecorMyEyes" and his complaining customers. It reminds me of the stories empaths sometimes tell of trying to get even with their oppressors. It's a long article, worth reading, but here are the excerpts that lead me to think sociopath:


Dozens of people over the last three years, she found, had nearly identical tales about DecorMyEyes: a purchase gone wrong, followed by phone calls, e-mails and threats, sometimes lasting for months or years.

“Hello, My name is Stanley with DecorMyEyes.com,” the post began. “I just wanted to let you guys know that the more replies you people post, the more business and the more hits and sales I get. My goal is NEGATIVE advertisement.”

It’s all part of a sales strategy, he said. Online chatter about DecorMyEyes, even furious online chatter, pushed the site higher in Google search results, which led to greater sales. He closed with a sardonic expression of gratitude: “I never had the amount of traffic I have now since my 1st complaint. I am in heaven.”

“I’ve exploited this opportunity because it works. No matter where they post their negative comments, it helps my return on investment. So I decided, why not use that negativity to my advantage?”

“When I fly to Las Vegas I look down and see all these houses,” he starts. “If someone in one of those houses buys from DecorMyEyes and ends up hating the company, it doesn’t matter. All those other houses are filled with people, too, and they will come knocking.”

Selling on the Internet, Mr. Borker says, attracts a new horde of potential customers every day. For the most part, they don’t know anything about DecorMyEyes, and the ones who bother to research the company — well, he doesn’t want their money. If you’re the type of person who reads consumer reviews, Mr. Borker would rather you shop elsewhere.

It’s almost painful to say, but Mr. Borker is amusing company. He is sharp and entertaining, although much of the entertainment comes from the way he flouts the conventions of courtesy, which he does with such a perverse flair that it can seem like a kind of performance art.

Despite the fear he has inspired, Mr. Borker doesn’t regard himself as a terror. He prefers to think of himself as the Howard Stern of online commerce — an outsize character prone to shocking utterances.

Except that Howard Stern doesn’t issue threats, I say.

“People overreact,” he pshaws, often because they’re unaccustomed to plain speaking, New York-style. Anyway, he adds, if somebody messes with you, and you mess back, “how is that a threat?”
And the victim's failed attempt of a comeuppance:

Ms. Rodriguez [a victim] has a meticulous record of all things Russo. Sitting at a table with a laptop, she reads some of his e-mails and plays several saved messages left by him on her phone. It is unmistakably Mr. Borker.

“I’m stubborn,” she says when asked about her persistence in the last few months. “I wasn’t going to let this guy push me around.”

I contacted T-Mobile to let them know I was being harassed,” she says, “but they said there was nothing they could do because it was coming from a blocked number.”

FOR months, Mr. Borker and Ms. Rodriguez were essentially working opposite sides of the Internet. He operated in the seams and cracks of the Web’s underbelly, while she was pleading for help with what is supposed to be the Web’s protective layer: a variety of corporations and law enforcement entities that could have intervened.

None did.
Moral of the story is don't bother trying to get back at them. Even I don't mess with people like this if I can avoid it. If they get you, learn a lesson and be more careful next time. Trying to get even is like throwing good money after bad. But I understand that for some people it is difficult to make coldly rational decisions, even for what is essentially a business transaction.

71 comments:

  1. "Moral of the story is don't bother trying to get back at them. Even I don't mess with people like this if I can avoid it. If they get you, learn a lesson and be more careful next time. Trying to get even is like throwing good money after bad."

    Thats pathetic. Theres always a way to get back at people who've wronged you and you can't let anything slide, otherwise people are going to use you as a doormat for the rest of your life. I've never understood cyber bullying. If somebody's fucking you about online, you turn the computer off, and go deal with them directly.

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  2. And they say the world was round and revolves around the sun! What were they thinking of??? LOL!!!

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  3. Various and sundry Anonomi have asked, "How do I get back at my socio?" and they never get that making the effort to get back at them is what their socio wants. They can't seem to understand that this is just one more way their socio can pull them into something they don't want to be part of. i agree with M.E., walking away is always the best answer if dealing with someone like this.

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  4. Various and sundry Anonomi have asked, "How do I get back at my socio?" and they never get that making the effort to get back at them is what their socio wants. They can't seem to understand that this is just one more way their socio can pull them into something they don't want to be part of.

    Which is why I usually tell them to try and just forget and move on from the whole ordeal.

    Although I agree that the behavior displayed in the article could be seen as sociopathic, I think the brazen disrespect and revelry being so open contradicts self-preservation, especially for a businessman. Then again, it doesn't look like anyone is bothering to intervene.

    Cue evil gloating.

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  5. Misanthrope:

    That's the problem with people stupid enough to leave negative feedback online who believe their words will change the world and some of how it works. They will keep buying from the online store that's screwed them over because it's popular and it's what other people do. It's not even about getting back at a business person believed to be a sociopath, it is the fact that people are too stupid to do so. Why do you think sociopaths have their power? lol.

    This is what's going to happen, just so you can have the advantage of knowing the future before it occurs:

    That idiot business person is going to close his pathetic store. The morons who bought from him and left feedback are going to boggle their minds as to why someone making so much money would erase themselves from the internet and not try to do "better business", which instead of said person's death is what they're stupid enough to REALLY want. The same idiot business person will become less stupid, change his/her name and simply open another business along the lines of the same scheme, and guess what? They'll have the same morons buying their goods and history will repeat itself.

    Maybe now that you know the future there's some money in it for you.

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  6. You know what i would like? I would like a place where some people fuck with other people and we get to see their reaction. No fake shit. The real deal, they wouldn't even know that they were filmed. Something like focus groups, people fucked with on camera to see all of their emotions and all that crap, just for experiment.

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  7. candid camera. it's been done.

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  8. i wonder if he would sell me his doormat? it would be the perfect christmas gift for a friend.

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  9. Misanthrope said...
    Theres always a way to get back at people who've wronged you and you can't let anything slide, otherwise people are going to use you as a doormat for the rest of your life.


    i agree with M.E.. you have to know when to cut your losses and not get emotional about being taken advantage of. people like the guy in the article are a dime a dozen. it works for him because most people will walk away, not out of fear but because it's just not worth it. so how much is your time worth? to these guys you're just a number. you're a doormat only in your mind.

    i ordered items online once that never arrived. it was for about $150.00 and through paypal. the guy tricked me into cancelling the dispute (with Paypal you can initiate only one dispute per transaction). my credit card company then went after paypal. i had the charge reversed within three weeks of the sales transaction and i spent maybe one hour of my time at most, including all emails with the seller, and all telephone calls. you have to be smart about it. if the credit card company had not reversed it i would have walked away.

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  10. Yeah I thought sociopath too while reading that. I had a feeling this article was going to make the blog and here it is. Anyway, if you read the whole article, and it's 8 pages long, the lady does get her money back and the guy loses his hosting, his ebay and other accounts are cancelled and he is going to court. I'd say he lost and it's just getting worse with all this extra publicity.

    Moral of the story is never be intimidated and never give up. And for the S's, think it through man. The consequences are real.

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  11. Good to know aspie.

    You see how far a little persistence can get you?

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  12. Aspie, sounds to me like you could scam Zoe, if you wanted to...

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  13. haha, funny guy. but if it's under $200 and you make me want it, yeah probably you'd get away with it. but can you make me want it and will my credit card company leave you alone?

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  14. Make it fair and tell me what you like.

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  15. i see you're still talking about stupid shit

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  16. why don't you contribute something fred.

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  17. you will have to work for it anonymous. let's see how far a little persistence will get you.

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  18. i just fell asleep and dreamt for literally hours. dreams are always fascinating to me.

    fred, that one's for you.

    btw, if anyone here has a hard time dreaming or remembering dreams, eat cheese before going to bed.

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  19. is it supposed to be good or bad, for me?

    oh, yeah, to contribute:

    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

    and that's my expert opinion.

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  20. cheese? that's interesting. i wonder why.

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  21. On Sunday 28th Novembre 2010, Wikileaks began publishing 251,287 leaked United States embassy cables, the largest set of confidential documents ever to be released into the public domain. The documents will give people around the world an unprecedented insight into the US Government's foreign activities.

    Quit complaining, we're never gonna be short of sociopath blog articles for quite a while.

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  22. cheese contains certain chemicals that induce sleep and REM sleep.

    different cheeses will give you different types of dreams.

    cheddar makes me dream of famous people.
    some cheeses may give you trippy dreams etc.

    how it affects your dreams does also depend on your natural brain chemistry.

    but give it a go. scoff loads and loads of it before bed if you normally hardly recall your dreams.

    google it to see what cheese works for you.

    oh yeah, and, cats.~

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  23. notme said...
    cheese contains certain chemicals that induce sleep and REM sleep.

    different cheeses will give you different types of dreams.


    interesting. what cheese is supposed to work for lucid dreaming?

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  24. So long as I wrap it well enough you'll accept communism huh? Fred can't help himself, you know that.

    Hi Notme :)

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  25. i don't know about that Zoe.
    you can have low-level lucid dreaming experiences, which i presume many of mine are. (where you are partially aware it's a dream).

    as far as cheeses, i don't know.

    also, i think you need to be leading a non-busy life to dream lots and remember them.

    there are tips on google on how to have lucid dreams.

    Hi back Anon 11.49.

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  26. i'm thinking gorgonzola.. :)

    i totally agree with your comment about non-busy life and dreaming. i think you dream as much, but are more focused on what's going on during the day so it's harder to remember. i often start to remember what i dreamed the night before as i fall asleep again.

    definitely there are different levels of awareness. i've had dreams where i think about flying or know i can, but am not really lucid. knowing that it's a dream is somewhere at the back of my mind, just this partial awareness.

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  27. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

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  28. Smartest thing Ive heard you say fred

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  29. Anonymous said...
    So long as I wrap it well enough you'll accept communism huh?


    don't forget a pretty bow and curly ribbons. details, anonymous.

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  30. Communism is brilliant on paper. In reality it would only work if I was the head of the party.

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  31. Yes, Gag, I've been following the story of the leaks.

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  32. Zoe = the stickler for details. You now have my respect.

    Ukan, you also have my respect today. It's rather odd for me to feel like that too... But, you ARE correct.

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  33. i am a sucker for respect. anonymous, you are good.

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  34. It is odd since the only thing I've said is that the people should thrust me into power. Ah, even my critics are ready for me to rule. How do I proceed next I wonder.

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  35. Aspie said...
    Anyway, if you read the whole article, and it's 8 pages long, the lady does get her money back and the guy loses his hosting, his ebay and other accounts are cancelled and he is going to court.


    there are ten guys probably already lining up to take that guy's place. but her credit card company/bank really dropped the ball there. that's the only red flag i got from that story.

    it's good to use different pins and different answers to verification questions for financial institutions. i wonder if the guy have a website where you sign up with a user id? ..where it asks for birth day and the usual verification questions?

    all someone needs to impersonate you over the pone and access your bank or credit accounts is your name, address, credit card info (including security pin), date of birth and verification questions. umm guess who gets all that when you make an online purchase? the verification questions are always the same. if you register online where you enter your birthday, name, credit card info, address and the same answers to the same verification questions as you use for your banking, the seller will have all the information necessary to impersonate you. something to think about when shopping online.

    paypal sucks, but this is where it at least provides an added security layer when you have no idea who you are dealing with.

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  36. Chairman UKan said...
    It is odd since the only thing I've said is that the people should thrust me into power. Ah, even my critics are ready for me to rule. How do I proceed next I wonder.


    we thrust you into power to serve us, ruler UKan.

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  37. hey i lost my big long post that i posted or thought i posted. is that the sign that it's time to stop? :(

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  38. Zoe: My respect isn't free, you said the magic word "details".

    UKan: Stop debating and take shit over for us. That's what you need to do as your next move. I'd have done it ten years ago but I'm much too lazy for such things. Perhaps you can prescribe me some speed when you're the ruler and in return I will entertain you with my brilliance and of course handle your science devision.

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  39. you are lazy? Look around, you are not the only one, everyone here is.

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  40. No shit. I'm still in my robe as we speak.

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  41. Feeding you drugs to work for me? That's how I already operate. Start packing your bags anon. You are starting a career in UKanation.

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  42. haha. i'm either super productive or totally useless.

    consistency? i hate that word.

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  43. Perhaps its time for a new post. This one seems a scrunch passe and somehow turned into a slew of compliments on your elegant leader. Czar-kans loyal subjects doting in wait for the next best victim. Not quite enough personal information yet. Though justice could've been fu. Keen on details but when it comes to her vengefilled retribution. What exactly happened there? You're mad at uncle diddles, let guys rape you because its how you understand sex, and got back at guys by mysteriously ruining them emotionally. So you what told their family. Sigh. Blah blah blah is right. Lying in wait for a post for predators.

    And forwarding your pain refers to replaying on the world to better understand or cope with it... as in forwarding a spam email.

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  44. i am detailed and productive.

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  45. Ukan you can be the figurehead in a robe, and i will run things.

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  46. Now this could get interesting.

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  47. Oh man, this is awesome! I think I was called out!

    Someone correct me if I'm wrong. Were you referring to me Snuggle Pol?

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  48. Alright entertainment!

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  49. Fellini's La Dolce Vita. The degenerate party scene. The curtain comes down with accolades.

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  50. (Cue music from Final "Jeopardy".)

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  51. Where's snuggle pol, or bear, or snuggle whatever?

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  52. Every time I see that name I get an image of the fabric softener bear in my head.

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  53. Lol, me too. Then the image of it gettin destroyed by a cotton picking machine.

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  54. Okay, I'm going to respond anyway because I'm impatient and have homework to do.

    I wasn't raped, never have been raped, that was fabricated, I thought I stated that. I WISH it were my uncle that abused me. I would have enjoyed it more. He was better looking. As far as my revengeful retribution goes, all you have to do is ask what happened hun, what I did, how I got my revenge. I'll be glad to tell you. I killed them, all of them~

    There was no point in my novel of a comment other than to talk about my "pain" and "misery". It's hard having my life, and being a victim/survivor, and having to deal with interpersonal demons that eat at my soul everyday. I just HAD to let others know that they can make it, will survive, and can get revenge so long as they are willing to wait for it. We rape, incest, child abuse victims are survivors.

    On a serious note, I stand by UKan being on point yesterday with a female sociopath's reaction. Couldn't be more correct.

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  55. Why answer someone who's life shows to be meaningless.

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  56. Zoe: You are goal oriented! I am proud. I still respect you.

    UKan: I don't fancy a change in scenery at the moment, but I'm not the one who works for you, remember? I'm the one who you give money to so that you can watch the video recording of your competition being killed by someone unaffiliated. For the right price I could deal with a little "vacation".

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  57. I'm really bummed I missed my cue. Damn. Next time. This new you makes a lot more sense, justice. I won't say what I would've said because then ill just sound like unable jumping on the reasonable bandwagon of 20/20 hindsight. But I will say the snuggle commercials are what popped in my head when thinking of a name, and nowe I think I like the sound of snuggie grizzle.
    So now what, we sit in a circle and play bs?
    The theatrics on the rape topic have gotten so passe too fast.

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  58. You know what's going on here? We all have more thoughts in our heads than can comfortably fit.

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  59. Than clean out all the bullshit

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  60. some people can light up a room just by entering it...

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  61. and as if by magic, here i am... ;)

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  62. which anon are you? i can't keep tabs very well.

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  63. You're absolutely radiant, notme.

    You really should take it easy on the baby oil.

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  64. oh darling, i can't help myself.

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  65. Anonymous said...
    Zoe: You are goal oriented! I am proud. I still respect you.


    respectful and proud. now i'm yours, anonymous.

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  66. How about arresting the Google bosses? Many online businesses already went bankrupt because the Google management keeps on changing the search engine's algorithms. Let's not forget that Google is actually liable for these bankruptcies. And the company is also liable for not protecting searchers/consumers against bad businesses, a goal that can easily be achieved as you can read in http://best-inexpensive-web-hosting.com/bad-hosts-rank-high
    The above link is a blog about inexpensive web hosting, but the article on the blog is about Google's liability towards consumers and any companies in general and not only towards web hosting providers. The solution provided in the link above would benefit both reputable online businesses and consumers. I highly recommend to read the article, because it's a perfect solution that is much better than the dangerous new Google algorithm. Just wondering when will the right Internet lawyers start suing Google?

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