Saturday, November 6, 2010

Sociopath song: Papa was a rolling stone

287 comments:

  1. Just out of curiosity: how many of you people actually have gone to a psychiatrist who told them that their diagnosis is ASPD? How many? Which one of you?

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  2. How do sociopaths relate to this song? There are so many people that can relate to it.


    Grace

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  3. When I was in college, I went to a psychiatrist once to get ADHD meds because I wanted them to study with, and I didn't want to buy them from just anyone since I am careful to avoid illegal activity. I was hitting all the key ADHD talking points and doing a little fidgeting, when he pulled out the fad diagnosis of that month, which was bipolar disorder. I pretended to consider carefully, and said that he could be right, but then gave him mostly answers that pointed away from that dx. In the end, he said that he wasn't sure, but I could be ADHD, and the test would be for me to take ADHD drugs and then report back to him whether or not they seemed to work. Score.

    I can't think of a reason to go to a psychiatrist and tell them I have ASPD, whether I do or don't. What good can you get from that?

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  4. @Pythias: I did the exact same thing. :D

    My reasoning was mostly that it was cheaper to be prescribed than to buy from dealers.

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  5. why did you need the ADHD meds? what do they do?

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  6. Fred, I am undiagnosed and trust me I never will be.

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  7. notme: They're stimulants. They make you euphoric, focused, and awake. They're like cocaine or amphetamine.

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  8. heh, apathy erasers.

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  9. it's a bit confusing cos i thought ADHD meant you already have 'too much' energy and that it's treated by sedatives or something.
    unless ADHD is a symptom of under-stimulation which they rectify with stmulants?

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  10. ADHD meds calm people down who actually have ADHD, but spaz out people who don't.

    That's one way you can tell if you are actually ADHD, by taking the meds.

    I forget the specifics of why that is, though.

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  11. @notme: Wiki is your friend.

    Thanks for the tip, I might have to look into that down the line.

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  12. I knew a mom who took her kid's Ritalin all the time because it was like speed to her.

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  13. This thread makes me want to get some Ritalin. I want to know if my brain chemistry has changed since I was a kid.

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  14. It hasn't 2, and it never will. Stick to coke.

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  15. 2, just scope out some hyper kid whose mom is even more hyper and follow them home.

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  16. Question to other sociopaths: Did you have a parent similar to the 'papa' in this song? And if so, did it actually bother you, or bother you in hindsight?

    My mum was a bit of a rollin' stone herself, and frankly, it doesn't bug me much at all. I do wonder sometimes what it would have been like to have a mother, though.

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  17. My mum was a bit of a rollin' stone herself, and frankly, it doesn't bug me much at all. I do wonder sometimes what it would have been like to have a mother, though.

    Perhaps this is precisely a reason why it doesn't bother you.

    Mother/child bonding factors into future bonding, empathy, compassion, connection, etc.

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  18. What about Father/child bonding? My old man was fairly close to me, and not a gruff, hard-chinned manly man. I got hugs as a kid, and such.

    He's on his way out, and its not really bothering me either. I think my monthly bills stress me more than my old man keeling over.

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  19. Well, people don't usually suck on their father's teat or come out of their penises.

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  20. You're discounting the social element, somehow insisting spending a few months on a teat and coming out of an orifice correlates to emotional connect?

    Or was that just sarcasm without an actual answer?

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  21. I pray that your incredulity is sarcastic, Notable, else you're a bit of an idiot.

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  22. NTP, Wasn't sarcasm.

    It's hard to deny that a certain violence involved in the act of creation has a large effect.

    And think of how intimate sucking on a teat is, for babies as well as adults. Emotion aside, even.

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  23. Please, surpass Freudian approaches to subjects. I'm tired of Freud.

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  24. I wasn't being incredulous. Confused, yes.

    When I say I didn't have a mother, I mean growing up. I had to come from somewhere after all, and I wasn't direct to formula.

    I'm trying to understand a point you're trying to make, and although I can see the projected logic behind it, I fail to see the facts.

    Confusion from vagueness, not incredulity.

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  25. Notable: The abstract for this paper suggests that a few months (or years) on the teat is relevant to the development of empathy. Well, really it says "identification with the mother", but breastfeeding is a part of that process. Hell, Google "breastfeeding and empathy" and you'll find plenty of material.

    I certainly don't support the Freudian logic Medusa used, but the underlying concept is valid.

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  26. This shit came before Freud, dude.

    Nothing vague about it. It is what it is.

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  27. And why do you think Freud was obsessed with this stuff in the first place? Because he had a bizarre relationship with his own mother and he wanted to know why.

    He didn't create the phenomenon, he just attempted to describe it.

    Just because Freud had a few whacked out ideas doesn't mean all his ideas lack validity.

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  28. Certainly not, but most of the juicy ones have since been discredited and replaced.

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  29. Well, I did Google it, and didn't find many relevant articles pertaining to the link. I found one article, and it was a bit more provocative than scientific, if you will.

    Are you suggesting that a child that isn't raised by its mother, or maternal mother, is incapable of empathy due to a lack of bond? Also, this introduces the nature vs. nurture argument, one that seems to keep rolling back to the classic sociopath vs. psychopath argument.

    I certainly understand the importance of said bond, but to make it the crux of formulating empathy seems like a stretch.

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  30. I'm not suggesting it's any kind of crux, simply that it's as important as the social aspect you were touting as a tool to write off the effect of mothering.

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  31. Are you suggesting that a child that isn't raised by its mother, or maternal mother, is incapable of empathy due to a lack of bond?

    Not necessarily. Too many factors to just parse out one thing.

    But in terms of anti-empathy weapons, lack of maternal bonding is perhaps the atomic bomb.

    For example. Someone could have had wonderful maternal bonding, but was later raped 100 times or witnessed the murder of their father. Another person could have lacked maternal bonding, but found massive amounts of support elsewhere to somewhat balance the scales. A person's biological makeup and general environment could potentially effect how all of these things are internalized.

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  32. From a 4 year old to kindergarden teacher with double G breats:

    - your tits are so good! Let me hug them!

    *laughters from teacher*

    - let me hug them and lay my head on them.

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  33. Interesting. Well, I've had my daily lesson, of sorts. Good to know.

    I don't think I consciously tried to write off mothering, but in hindsight, there was probably a layer of resentment towards the institution within my comments. Maybe that's why you suspected me of being incredulous.

    Then again, I'm hardly one to discount it, ha! I'm not exactly Mr. Empathy, no matter how much my father loved me as a kid.

    I did however notice your lack of an answer to my question, though, Postmodern Sociopath. Were any of your parents a rollin' stone?

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  34. Depends on your definition.

    My father is a recovering alcoholic, probably a narcissist (or at least the son of one). He was in and out of rehab three times until it finally stuck. My mother was a sales representative in a small firm which sold high-end housewares to most of the large retailers in New England, so she travelled a lot.

    They separated when I was 7 and divorced when I was 10 or 11. From then until my father's final rehab stint, I lived in two separate houses in two separate states.

    So sure, perhaps both of them were. They were both absent in some fashion during my formative years.

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  35. Also, you say I didn't answer your question like it reflects some weakness in my personality, a chink in my armor, a sore spot. It's cute.

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  36. Actually, not. You've commented on your childhood in previous blog posts, alluding to a rough childhood.

    The theme of the comment was noticing that which I hadn't yet. It was only afterwards that I noticed a sociopath regular commenting yet not addressing my question, to my chagrin.

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  37. You indulging my chagrin probably shouldn't make me grin.

    Better than the alternative, I suppose.

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  38. Perhaps you envy me, dear Notable. Or could it be admiration? A desire to free yourself and engage in abject villainy as I do?

    The possibilities are endless.

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  39. You guys remind me of each other.



    (from me, not insinuating a gaymance)

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  40. Clearly Notable and I are caught in a rad bromance.~

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  41. 'Also, you say I didn't answer your question like it reflects some weakness in my personality, a chink in my armor, a sore spot. It's cute.'

    forever suspicious postmodern. that's cute.

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  42. Clearly.~

    I will admit to one thing, I do admire your and UKan's admittance and embrace of villainy. Indulging upon it openly completely contradicts my instinctual Impression Management. I wish I could, but call it a healthy paranoia in regards to data-mining.

    As far as other feelings and opinions of you, what is a man without his secrets?

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  43. @notme: The query could definitely be read as accusatory, and when dealing with the typical array of anonymous offenders, suspecting such is hardly 'cute'. If anything, I should have re-read it, realizing the reaction that it could have provoked (and I usually do).

    It does make me wonder though, why you (Postmodern Sociopath) would think I changed up my Sociopath World persona that I play. Interesting.

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  44. Better suspicious than sorry, as I always say.

    That said, you're not generally one to prod, so perhaps that's what tuned me into a perceived shift. It seemed out of the ordinary for you, so it threw up a flag.

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  45. Ah, this is true. I guess I can answer that. I've been avoiding self-indulgent walls of text lately, and trying to tidy up my own blog with my last two articles.

    But yes, constant vigilance and such. I usually assume the worst first when online, as it usually is the intention in the first place. People usually don't toy with the double/triple entendre, and can be quite blunt and predictable.

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  46. edit:
    *double/triple entendre in a clever way*

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  47. As I said elsewhere yesterday, triple entendres are highly arousing.

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  48. has anyone ever called either of you guys a 'freak' or 'nuts' by any chance?

    humour me

    also, does all this analysis of other people's motives ever exhaust you?

    what do you do to tune out?

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  49. btw the reason i brought up the ADHD question earlier is cos i was under the impression (possibly wrongly) that it has a link with sociopathy and so i thought you would know about it. but if i'm wrong, i'm happy to visit mr.wiki.

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  50. Yes, yes they have. For instance, my own mother has called me "emotionless" and similar which, coming from her, is equivalent to "freak" or "nuts".

    No, no it does not. I'm a mathematician. If analysis exhausted me, I wouldn't be very good.

    I tune out nothing, but I analyze selectively. Purposefully blinding myself to data doesn't sound like a good idea.

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  51. shit that was me, notme. haha.

    my head is in a vice and i half know what i'm doing.

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  52. Under what context, notme? I'm pretty sure everyone's been called a freak or nuts in one point in time during their life.

    As far as analysis goes, it's what gets me through to day. I don't think I've ever been exhausted by it, only stumped, and that doesn't happen very often.

    Playing tricks, sort of, confusing the tracks, that's pretty fun to do. But in general, here, I try to be straightforward. I don't come here to mess with people, usually, but to learn and advise.

    So I guess my answer would be, why would I want to tune it out?

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  53. Not me is the cute one.

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  54. lol medusa, i like being the actual cute one on a sociopath blog. in my element wouldn't you say?

    notable
    i just mean in general, like people can't fathom the way you are.

    cos i like you, i will respond to your answer that's posed as a question:

    cos your brain might explode. it happened to my neighbour's uncle, rumoured to be a sociopath.

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  56. When I lived in the vicinity of Cornell University, there was this Asian man who was in the physics PhD program.

    Something happened and he dropped out and spent his days clothed in "Cornell Mom" sweatshirts and baseball caps, dancing and smiling and singing to nobody in the center of town. All day, every day.

    His brain exploded. And/or he found God.

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  57. lol, Medusa. Also, lol, Notable, plugging his blog for the thousandth time. :P

    RSS is my friend.

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  58. In general, I'm not thought of as a freak or nuts. Yes to nuts when I was young, but I was graphically violent when I was young, and count my blessings that I'm not in prison because of it.

    When I realized that being noticed was something detrimental, be it by friends or family, I did my best to avoid being spotted and labeled as such. There's only one type of person whose radar I can never seem to avoid, and it is mutual recognition, therefore putting me both at an advantage and disadvantage.

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  59. Oh, shame. Tis a taste I have not suffered.

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  60. < nerd time out >

    PMS, what do you use as your RSS feeder?

    I use netvibes, but it lags on the updates, so I just go directly to the sites these days.

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  61. Medusa said, "His brain exploded. And/or he found God.

    Often the same thing, apparently.

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  62. I use my mail client as my RSS reader. I never liked web-based ones much, but Google Reader was pretty good.

    Most good mail clients have feed readers built in, so depending on your system I can make some recommendations, if you like.

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  63. Yeah, I don't use email clients anymore, as I have my POP/IMAP emails forwarded to my gmail.

    And I'm on Vista, so....

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  64. My brain exploding? Hmm.

    I think the frustration for being stumped is far more taxing than the act. People who I find to be puzzling, in either demeanor or comments, intrigue me, and I feel obligated to find out more about it. I guess if I was stuck on 'repeat', I can see the potential for snapping, but I try not to dwell on something I've realized is impossible.

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  65. Thunderbird's not bad, and most modern clients set up Gmail accounts with one click. I highly recommend a client over a web-based one. But I'm a techfiend, so maybe I'm biased.

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  66. Whoa, never realized that Google Reader was an entirely different thing than iGoogle.

    Yay. I will play with this.

    < /nerd >

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  67. I used to use Thunderbird, until I got annoyed with it.

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  68. i can't find the so-called sarcasm button. the squiggly line thing.

    i think i need it cos i am prone to talking a little bit of shite sometimes.

    :D

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  69. haha
    it's called changing it up. boredom's a bitch.

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  71. @PS: Oh yes, insurance even covered it!

    @Not Me: ADHD meds helped me stay up to study. My mother used to call me her little cyborg, and others have called me "quirky," whatever that means, and weird at times. (Probably no more than others that I know, though.) I'm a scientist, so like PM, I'm naturally and constantly analytical. I don't tire of it, because at this point it's just something I do...like avoiding opposing traffic on a sidewalk.

    @Notable: I didn't meet my father until I was 12, and we've never been close.

    @Notable/PS: Awwwww. Cute. Like puppies and kitties.

    @Medusa: I use google reader.

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  73. Eh, I just wasted a bunch of time. Still prefer netvibes.

    Anyway.

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  74. Even I knew Bert was evil back when I actually watched that show. Psssshhh ;)

    I'm sort of the odd one of the bunch, to the confusion of on of my professors. I'm skilled with both computer science and art, and when I took a test to map out of inclinations of one or the other, it was all over the place.

    We posted them up on the board, sort of a spectacle, and I, for some reason, had the only one that wasn't leaning towards one or the other (this being an elective class). No neat triangle, if you will, but a chaotic ink splotch.

    My engineering buddies seemed disappointed. *shrugs*

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  75. When I lived in the vicinity of Cornell University, there was this Asian man who was in the physics PhD program.

    Something happened and he dropped out and spent his days clothed in "Cornell Mom" sweatshirts and baseball caps, dancing and smiling and singing to nobody in the center of town. All day, every day.

    His brain exploded. And/or he found God.


    Schizophrenic maybe?

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  76. Interesting, TNP. I had this fly-by-night theory going for a little while that sociopaths generally suck at art.

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  77. Schizophrenic maybe?

    That would be the easy assumption.

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  78. I used to do sculpture, ceramics, drawing/painting, et cetera. Everyone in my immediate family is art/design inclined.

    Nowadays I mostly write fiction, and sometimes spend a few hours doing 2D and or 3D digital art.

    My 'path coworker composes music.

    I think the reason that both of us haven't earnestly tried to take the professional route is boredom. That might be why there aren't many prolific sociopath artists, as you hypothesized. It's very easy for me to become bored with something I once enjoyed.

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  79. One of my sociopath-type friends, who is really a scientist, is also an accomplished artist. (Oil,mostly, I think)

    As for me, my big artsy awards are for drama. I always had the lead and excelled at it, though I haven't done much in the past couple of years. I also play the piano and guitar, but frankly, I suck.

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  80. Oh, yes, I also write fiction, but I didn't really think of that as artsy.

    It's very easy for me to become bored with something I once enjoyed.

    I'm right there with you.

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  81. Writing is definitely an art form, the craft, that is. 'Artsy'? Not so much. I guess that depends on the writer.

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  82. I was talking with a friend yesterday for whom I was doing a voice-over job for about drama vs. improv vs. comedy.

    I was theorizing that you kind of need to have a sort of emptiness to be good at drama. At least, in order to inhabit a character fully.

    I come off as a very serious person, but I'm way better at comedy and improv than "acting".

    I grew to hate serious "acting" because I abhored having to pretend to being someone else.

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  83. Well, Medusa, there's at least four 'paths with artistic and scientific tendencies, too.

    I'm curious, how did you stumble upon said theory?

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  84. Oy, grammar.

    (My word verification was "shortho")

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  85. TNP, well, someone here (Peter Pan, maybe?) kept posting awful MS Paint drawings, and on another site the sociopaths had horrid drawing skills, so it made me think.

    I mean, without emotion, how can elicit emotion?

    But that theory has kind of gone out the window as I have become less dumb.

    It would make sense that since sociopaths can manipulate emotions out of others, why couldn't they do it with art? It might not ever be "genius" art, but it could still be very good.

    Also, I'd imagine many sociopaths and other observational/analytical types would be good at the craft and technical aspects of art, if not the genius of it.

    Also, maybe they'd be good at portraying some sort of "truths" (whatever the fuck that is) in a purely conceptual/logical way.

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  86. @Medusa: I think that you are absolutely right about acting and I think that may be part of why I was so good at it and enjoyed it. My drama coach was always shocked at how I could pull realistic anger, joy, and even tears as the stage directions called for them. For me it was like becoming another person as much as I become another person to blend in with my mother's church ladies, then yet another to blend in with my cousin's druggie friends. I think M.E. often brings posts back to the P/S type's flexible sense of self, and I think this is just another slice of that pie.

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  87. I think the issue at hand with your theory is the assumption that the 'path is trying to provoke emotional response from someone other than themselves.

    My art has always been very selfish, and because of that, I've striven for excellence, especially in regards to a piece that might be available to the public eye.

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  88. All art is selfish, or should be. The real stuff, anyway.

    But tell me, why would a sociopath want to provoke an emotional response in themselves?

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  89. Could you all form an online exhibit of your art works?

    :)

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  90. As for writing, I do it to entertain myself. It never reaches anyone else's eyes.

    As for acting, it was also for my amusement initially, but being a drama person explains away any "weird" that someone might pick up, so that was nice. Also, I like to be adored. :)

    As for the piano, my mother wanted me to play. I didn't resist, because all of the quietest, smartest, most well-behaved kids I knew played and I figured it would benefit me to be associated with that group.

    I learned to play the guitar to have a trick to pull out of my bag if I ever needed to bond with someone. Especially guys, who tend to think you're even hotter and "get them" when you can rock out with them. :)

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  91. I can indeed attest to the fact that being able to play piano and guitar is highly impressive to people, even if they've never heard you play.

    Especially if you are female and play electric guitar.

    People are dumb.

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  92. it's interesting what medusa said about acting and being able to inhabit a character.

    i believe this is connected to how socios don't always distinguish between their own lies and truths.
    they become that thing they convince themselves they are in the moment. unless, i am overstating it, i don't know.

    i'm trying to make the point that this is applicable to extremes.
    i inhabit my own emotions completely, that you could say i become the emotion. this is perfect for acting and slipping into characters. for me though, i used to be hit and miss with acting at school, i never believed i was actually good.

    when i picked up years of experience of emotional range in my own life, i now don't hesitate to think that i'd make a very good actress.

    i wouldn't be great at accents though, some i just can't do. but the emotional stuff i'm sorted on. i could play a serial killer or a nun.
    maybe being completely empty, or overflowing, are two great assets for acting.

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  93. What are we talking about?

    I don't think socios would have a talent for the arts.

    Waves.

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  94. Nothing in life is dogmatic. I still would like to see artworks from posters here...online please.

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  95. for clarity. i should mention i'm a strong empath, not socio.

    the boredom thing is something i have as well. it means i do things obsessively for periods of time, then disengage.

    btw my neighbours are having loud marathon sex right now and i'm getting damn annoyed.
    how should i remedy this?

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  96. I'm primarily a mathematician, but I've experimented (har har har) in all the sciences. I've also dabbled in various art forms, primarily music and film.

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  97. i like math

    @not me.... maybe have some loud marathon sex yourself ... or perhaps you should just **** them.. or.. maybe see if you can get into it and maybe masturbate to them or maybe just go for a walk

    you could also knock on their door and ask them to stop having loud marathon sex, explaining that this disturbs you etc.

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  98. I don't think socios are inquisitive by nature. The one diagnosed socio I met was oddly calm and untroubled. Blank to the core.

    I had a hard day today--spent it with my aunt who raised me and my sisters. Always gets me sad.

    Grace

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  99. the night is young, i will try all those options.

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  100. But tell me, why would a sociopath want to provoke an emotional response in themselves?

    Why not?

    I've found that art (especially music) can incite feelings that I rarely if ever experience, and sometimes they are feelings that I have never felt where naturally expected.

    Classical music seems to do this the most to me, sort, "fill" something in me, and the best way to describe the high of sorts would be akin to Alex in Clockwork Orange in regards to Beethoven.

    It makes me wonder whether or not I'm simply emotionally shallow as opposed to emotionally neutered.

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  101. Classical music seems to do this the most to me, sort, "fill" something in me, and the best way to describe the high of sorts would be akin to Alex in Clockwork Orange in regards to Beethoven.

    :)

    I always think of Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.

    But I completely understand. That's why I majored in it in school.

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  102. I feel the same way about art and music, esp classical. What if it means I'm so emotionally attuned that my bar in real life is higher than most people? Or that in real life I get overwhelmed and shut down because I'm so sensitive? I've often considered that as well. My tolerance for ambient distraction seems lower than most.

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  103. I think they can be "inquisitive" when something unusual happens... something they don't expect...but otherwise generally true imo, they are usually very calm and easy

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  104. More curious than inquisitive imo. Curious you want to know, inquisitive you want to know why. Big difference.

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  105. if the world had no music i would have killed myself aged 10.
    either that or i would have created it myself.

    it's in my blood and whenever someone tells me they don't like music my mind can't fathom it.

    i think i even talk musically. up and down etc. no wonder people think i'm weird.

    singing makes me feel singular, which is a relief for me, it isolates the physical experience and pushes out unwanted stimulation.

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  106. I don't think socios are inquisitive by nature.

    More curious than inquisitive imo. Curious you want to know, inquisitive you want to know why. Big difference.

    The reason we might seem more curious than inquisitive (based on your definition) is that we usually already know why, when it concerns people. There's only so many variables that can usually be the cause of some issue, and we've seen most of them.

    I think a general lack of knowing 'why' is the root of a lot of confusion, especially when it comes to human-to-human interactions. I could right pages of examples, but I'll save your eyes and general sanity from my soul destroying walls of text.

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  107. i feel things through music.. though i don't think i would off myself without it... survival is always first

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  108. socios to my mind, aren't really interested in changing anything. they may say something is nonsense but i think it's more about the fact that they can't get around it as easily as they'd like.
    it's very rational to realise that things just are and to simply understand it.

    it's sort of, stabilising.

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  109. I insist on change. I like to tear things down and remake them in a more pleasing image.

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  110. socios to my mind, aren't really interested in changing anything.

    I'd beg to differ. Stagnating is incredibly boring. I'm constantly reinventing myself and trying to look at life through different perspectives than ones I've already established. It's key to understanding life and the people in it, including yourself.

    When I run into something I don't understand, not from confusion but ignorance, I usually will be inquisitive.

    I'm a bit knowledge/perspective obsessed. Not sure if that is a socio thing, or just the type of person I am.

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  111. i mean change things as in revolutionising the way something is in society.

    from past comments i got the feeling that you just don't care enough about things. that things just are and the best we can do is work around them and use them to our own advantage in the here and now. as opposed to changing things for future generations etc.

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  112. btw notable i don't mean your past comments. i mean in general that's what i felt.

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  113. i mean change things as in revolutionising the way something is in society.

    I think that comment should be taken with a grain of reality.

    What motivates anyone to revolutionize the way something is in society? And why would a sociopath be exclusive from this?

    I'm actually a very driven individual and persuasive, too, when it comes to changing something other than myself.

    This is not to say that I would revolutionize something, just that if I had the assets available, why the hell not?

    Lest I be wasteful.~

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  114. Are we arguing for or against revolutionizing?

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  115. some are arguing for whatever they want

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  116. I am arguing for chaos, mayhem, madness, and giant frog.

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  117. I wasn't aware we were arguing for or against anything, just that I disagree with such a blanketed statement.

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  118. I found the revolution talk more persuasive.

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  119. And I find this irrelevant but entertaining.

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  120. I thought we respond better to incentives than punishments? At least at face value.

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  121. are you a sociopath anonymous?

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  122. that bug will probably hurt more and be slower than any laser beam likely

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  123. Do all you people do is come on here to attack each other? I'd find it so much more pleasant if I could tell when to believe y'all.

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  124. I'd find it more pleasant if you'd take on a name so I could differentiate you from the rest of the faceless masses, but we can't all get what we want, can we?

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  125. Are you asking me to leave? You guys were having an interesting conversation until I showed up and it took a turn for the incurious. Incentives--everyone likes them.

    Ylang

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  126. No. I was just asking you to differentiate yourself so I could see who was saying what. Now that's all set, my world is golden.

    Anyway, whether you choose to believe what we say is up to you and, ultimately, irrelevant. Just ask some questions and you'll get some answers. Some of it will be self-indulgent shit, poorly worded science, or worse things; some of it will be useful. That's the internet for you, Ylang.

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  127. What do you want PMS? No sarcasm, I'm genuinely asking.

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  128. You're right PMS. I had a tough day.

    Y

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  129. Hmm... that's a heavy question.

    I want to have fun. I want to burn the world down and frolic in the ashes. I want to stare into a man's eyes as the light leaves them. I want to smoke the perfect cigarette. I want to move to Iceland.

    I suppose some more specificity would help me narrow it down for you. I don't "want" in the existentialist sort of way, if that's what you mean, i.e., striving toward some greater meaning.

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  130. So you desire more than want PMS. Iceland sucks though. The rest sounds pretty good.

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  131. Yeah, that's a way of putting it.

    You're wrong about Iceland, though. :P

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  132. I want to do anything that I feel like doing, whenever I feel like doing it, and get away with it.

    That's part of the appeal of games. It gives me a chance to enact some of those wants in a consequence free environment.

    I've often felt the best game possible would be one of a multitude of options as opposed to a linear or branching narrative. It should be the player's story, not the designer's. *shrug*

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  133. Today was a friend of mine's birthday and another friend of mine posted this on her wall.

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  134. I want to have fun. I want to burn the world down and frolic in the ashes. I want to stare into a man's eyes as the light leaves them. I want to smoke the perfect cigarette. I want to move to Iceland.

    As I happened upon the "Bert is Evil" site last night it lead me to some Jim Jones research.

    Your words reminded me of this.

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  135. I was actually contemplating posting that on one of my friend's walls, but decided not to.

    Digressing to our earlier comments on music, there is one "band" that seems to hit me in the gut on a regular basis with their music. I don't even particularly like them past anything casual, but some of their songs seem to pull strings that most bands in said genre is incapable of.

    Muse.

    Strange.

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  136. This is my favorite from Perry Bible Fellowship. Every time I read the words "Go eat a dick, Truancy-bot", I chuckle heartily.

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  137. Aspie, I made an animation using teddy bears once and they were doing drugs and hanging out at brothels and kept getting put in jail and I used a Doors song as background music at the height of their tripping out.

    Unfortunately, YouTube took it down due to copyright violation. Fuckers.

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  138. Medusa: I don't know how to feel about the Jim Jones comment. I suppose it depends to what conclusions your research brought you.

    Notable: Ugh, people and Muse. I think they're neat, too, but I could never be a fan. Now give me some Einst├╝rzende Neubauten... that's a good time.

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  139. I've often felt the best game possible would be one of a multitude of options as opposed to a linear or branching narrative. It should be the player's story, not the designer's.

    I was a big fan of Choose Your Own Adventure novels as a kid.

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  140. Lol, I was just reading Wikipedia's account of Jim Jones's younger life. The parallels are freaky.

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  141. God damn why does everyone have such good fucking taste around here.

    Someone likened the newest song in my set to Muse. I haven't really actually sat down to listen to them on purpose.

    And also, three words, PMS.

    The Birthday Party.

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  142. Ugh, people and Muse. I think they're neat, too, but I could never be a fan.

    That's basically my predicament with them. I know they're not the dog's bollocks (in my book), but there's just something about their music does something to me on some subconscious level.

    Now, if I can run into a band that can be both, then I'm sold hook, line and sinker. It's just, besides classical, I can't think of any off the top of my head. Plenty of good music out there, just not much that affects me.

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  143. This is what I think of Jim Jones.

    I think he was very sincere in his motives. I think his downfall, though, was that at the end he confused his wisdom with his ego and started fucking too many people.

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  144. The Birthday Party

    I think I'm in love with you, Medusa.

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  145. I relate to Jim Jones younger life as well, although I don't know a hell of a lot about it yet, and I never felt the need to go as far as to stab small animals.

    I like animals, much more than people.

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  146. This can only end in tears.~

    This was a bit of a sobering strip for me. Funny, but not for the obvious reasons.

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  147. This is, hands down, my favoritest bassist performance of all time.

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  148. Designers design games with infinite iterations so that it is the player's game. Like simcity.

    I'm sick of hearing about lack of consequences and the pleasures of selfishness. It's all bullshit. If you're here debating as much then you're too far down the empathy/introspective axis to accept either.

    I got kicked in the gut every night by my alcoholic dad and my mom told me I was shit. The first time anyone was nice to me I ran away in terror, and the second and third time I terrorized them. So I'm going to keep spending my time never letting anyone be nice to me and terrorizing? It's letting the terrorists win imo. Am I smarter than them? YES. Could I fuck them up any way I want? YES. And then what? No one can get close enough to touch me. I lose. They don't lose. I lose. What am I running from? I can't remember anymore.

    I respect the anti-Freudians in the group, but this ain't Freud, it's simple PET.

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  149. i always avoid the mass transit at the witching hour... im superstitious in that way

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  150. Ha ha Anon, you sound like my douchebag ex.

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  151. Most Designers typically design games based on an image they want to create, and ultimately sell. Simulation games, not so much.

    It's their baby, and they get attached to every little detail, enthralled with their own creation. There's a few, robust games out there where player style actually has a significant influence on the direction and flow of the game, but not many.

    As I was saying before, selfish art.

    If your father beat you, and your mother told you that you were shit, maybe it was you after all, not them. Based off the little you've actually shared, your tone, and fact that you think your Anonymous opinion and respect is even worth the energy wasted hitting the keys, I'd say you had it coming.

    Normally I wouldn't prescribe it, especially since this is a sociopath site, but it sounds like someone needs a few hugs, a box of Kleenex and a goddamn shrink.

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  152. i think that bass player is not really playing...

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  153. That clip is actually pretty fucking good.

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  154. Nick Cave's drugged-out expression at the end when he notices what happened to the bass player is pretty awesome.

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  155. That's the best thing I've seen in ages. That's what my fantasies look like. Smashing into things. Awesome.

    I was just listening to him in the car today, but the VH1version.

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  156. Medusa: You mean that look of confusion and consternation, as if he's saying "Oy, what's happened to Terry?"

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  157. Lol it appears my bear video is back up somehow.

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  158. Actually LOL

    What bear?

    Iceland's a scam. Except for the mud and the salmon.

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  159. VH-1 Nick Cave is good, too.

    Especially O'Malley's Bar.

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  160. VH1 Cave can get too much like VH1 PJ Harvey. We mope but we put a little blood in it. Bloodless moping is so.. oy. Unlike, say, Harvey's demos. Screaming blood. Also awesome.

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  161. I've known him for a hundred years and I don't like him that way.

    Y

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  162. I get the PJ Harvey thing all the time.

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  163. Eh, you'll all be VH-1 Nick Caves when you turn 40.

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  164. Is that what happens to everyone? If Birthday Party Nick Cave turned into VH1 Nick Cave, what chance do any of us have?

    In the meantime, the kids don't mosh anymore. What a healthy way to beat the shit out of your friends. What do the kids do with themselves these days? I'm hoping for a revival.

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  165. I dunno, seems like I'm doing it the backwards way.

    Such is the benefit of not really being a sociopath.

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  166. All of us on the site are such weirdos.

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  167. I still mosh. It's the closest thing I get to letting loose the old ultraviolence without leaving in cuffs.

    Nowadays a lot of the kids do these odd... moves... like windmilling and such, like they have to act like they're being violent without hitting anyone. Amusing. I've no qualms about ribbing and tripping them. Grow a pair and get in the pit or get out. You're not fooling anyone.

    It's not just the 'kids' though. A lot of venues don't allow actual moshing to begin with, so we get away with what we can. It's always amusing spotting a fellow predator with the same thing in mind, and twisting horns can have hilarious results. Last show I went to, someone tried to smash me into the stage, and I ended up sending him over my head with his own momentum, and sent him crashing into one of the stage speakers. Poor guy had blood all over his new swag shirt :)

    Well, that's what you get for buying swag that isn't black.

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  168. Lol, that's a good story.

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  169. You strike me as a man who did a good job letting loose the old ultaviolence. I bet the predators with whom you've tangled remember your methods quite fondly.

    Y

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  170. On a related note, I really like this blog.

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  171. Look, I'm going back in time!

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  172. The wonders of the Internet.

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  173. Crap. I was wrapping up my three part series and missed my chance to time travel, too :(

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  174. Heh. I think I am purposefully not visiting your blog with an increasing stubbornness which is in inverse proportion to your increasingly sly plugs.

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  175. Medusa I apologize for neglecting you yesterday, but you can't really believe a sociopath wouldn't search for something they don't have/cannot obtain. I would choose to say things in this light: Innocence = territory unexplored, and self aware = self disabling. There was once a hypothesized curve that we would become so bored and overwhelmed with charades that we'd simply give up, stop our manipulations, and be more accepting. While I can't agree with everything I've just stated, I can surely say I'd find it easy to believe a challenge is had in searching for what you cannot find. It is the ultimate hunt. Last, I would also forge the question: Who wouldn't desire a counterpart? If you were able to craft one yourself would that not mean greater productivity? Imagine being able to trust said counterpart. Yes, you can imagine. No, you cannot possess.

    Did anyone enjoy me telling you "No, you cannot possess?"

    It's almost enough to make me laugh.

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  176. This shit is getting more and more funny. Sociopathic reasons for handing out change to the homeless? Predators=aggresive mosher? Ultraviolence = rough housing? You fucking carebears. It pains me sometimes to read these blatant attempts to fit into traits of a mental disorder that is so misunderstood. It fogs the truth and confuses people.
    I get it. You are trying to kill the stigma that sociopaths are wacky murderers, mooching boyfriends, cheaters, or your uncle that diddled with your what not. Honestly that is something already accomplished on this site.
    Notable I don't pick on you because you are british, your peoples inferiorty is already obvious enough. I pick on you because your naive and it bleeds through your words like a gaping wound. When you try to be coy or witty its like a elephant stalking a cat. You and a few others (you know who you are) spend your time wanking yourself with evil excuses on why you do right by people. It makes me laugh, because I go through great pains to make good excuses to do evil. What I don't understand is what the point is at all. Why do we care what thought process you go through when you do what everyone else does?
    I embrace my villiany, because I don't need to lie, for once, about myself. I freely admit sociopaths are sociopathic. They are up to no good most of the time. I'm not going to sugar coat it, and to do so discredits people who try to inform the public the sociopaths aren't AS bad as some make it out to be. It builds credit for the hysteria surrounding it, because nobody will believe sociopaths are some vigilante mavericks who go outside the box to save good people. Nobody will believe it because its ridiculous.

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  177. You fucking carebears.

    THANK YOU! FInally someone finds the word I've been looking for to accurately describe them.

    I don't get their insistence on "trying to be good" when in the same breath they'll say "I don't believe in good and evil". Hell, I do (morally) "good" things all the time. I don't have to rationalize it or attach some motive to it to remind the people reading my comment that "OH HEY DID I MENTION I'M A SOCIOPATH". I think that's what pisses me off most—you explain yourself with all this nonsense for the benefit of no one.

    I won't comment on the bit about Notable, because I'm still laughing.

    And my opinions on villainy are well-known. Come back and tell me about ultraviolence when you've beaten a debtor within an inch of his life and when your predators have guns instead of acne.

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