Friday, November 19, 2010

Controlling violent urges

A reader talks about "change" from a violent child, to a relatively in-control adult:
When I was young (Up until about Twelve years old) I had very little self-control with violent outbursts. I almost murdered a few of my peers, and was so alienated from this that no amount of charm or good deeds could win favor back into the affected parties. This greatly bothered me. I had been in fights all my life, yet I had never been in a situation where I was beyond social redemption. I noted this, and although I would still get angry, and still Want to maim them, I would not let myself cross the line of letting my instincts take over. The risk was just too great, and I was thankful that I had moved to another area where my slate was clean as far as the locals were concerned. This conscious choice to repress my violence evolved when I reached High School. The specific High School I went to would arrest all parties involved in violent activities (fights, usually) regardless of who the initiator was, and this could lead to time spent in a correctional facility and a juvenile criminal record. At this point, I had no desire to be seen off in a patrol car, as I had seen some of my peers arrested. Being a known criminal is crippling for your reputation, which is something I would kill for if needed to maintain. I made a conscious effort to alleviate tension before it could start, and managed to avoid physical altercations in High School almost completely, save one incident which thankfully was not brought to the attention of the authorities. I spread myself throughout the school, thanks to the segregation of various quads, and had a large network of 'friends' in multiple cliques. From years of experience, I had no problem quickly befriending dozens of classmates and was able to keep my list of so called enemies to an almost non-existent figure. If you will, I embraced the philosophy of 'Burn No Bridges', but not out of a notion of good, but practicality. Is this sort of behavior common? This, evolution from a violent sociopath to a non-violent one? It is easy to enrage me if done properly to this day, but I leave little opportunity for someone to even entertain the notion of it, and my intimidating physical features also discourage people from angering me.
I responded: One of my friends thinks socios can only go one way -- bad to worse. The idea is that once corrupted, we will always have that particular weakness or penchant for corruption. For instance, I talked recently about the potential for training myself to enjoy bloodlust. I wouldn't do that, though, because I'd be worried that it would become an addiction. But your transition from violence to peacefulness suggests otherwise, unless you just have a great deal of self-control or the violence never had a strong pull for you. What do you think?
In regards to your comment on violence, I find the explanation simple and sobering (for me). I am not an addict, I do not have an addictive personality, and never have. I have an extremely indulgent and obsessive one, though. Violence to me is not an involuntary reaction. I don't think it ever has been. I like it. I enjoy inflicting pain and seeing the terror, pain and or anger in the eyes of my enemy. It gets me off. But so does smoking, drinking, and seduction. It's different, of course, but it is one of several ways for me to derive pleasure. It never had its own little pedestal all to itself.
A simple example, minus the human element is this. Bugs, I really, really dislike them. If they get in my house, it annoys me. I don't always kill them. It's not that I don't respect them, I just don't need to kill them. There's no irrational fear behind an act of violence. If they're crawling on me, sure I'll probably squish them out of reflex, but virtually every person I've met seems to consider them Kill On Sight targets, even outdoors. If the spider is in a corner near my overhead light, he'll probably kill the moths that sneak their way in. If a silverfish crawled up the drain, I'll pour him back down with water (and maybe a little soap for shenanigans sake). If an ant finds his way in and I'm not busy, I'll watch his path and sees where he goes, in hopes of blocking their entry point, preventing my annoyance and their genocide.
I apply similar logic to People. If there is no need to be violent, then why be so? A broken reputation, trust, or image is is far more devastating than my fists will ever be. I don't really consider it channeling, so much as diverting my anger from the emotional dam. It either goes away soon, or has to be dealt with depending on the severity of the situation. I might plot someone's downfall, or blow steam killing people in a videogame. Thankfully, it rarely comes to that being a necessity.
I understand the lust for blood all too well. Hunting human prey is intoxicating, and I found sports such as Paintball and Airsoft to be extremely satisfying. Quick reflexes, stealth, and wit combine to let you hunt the most dangerous game, with virtually none of the consequences.
In terms of being peaceful, in an abstract way I am. All the anger is still there, but I know how to manipulate it before it gets out of hand. With childlike naivety gone, a sociopath can accomplish a great many things, especially in regards to our own so-called downfalls. Violence is but one of them.

156 comments:

  1. Psychopath Says He Wouldn't Hurt A Fly

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  2. I totally relate to that.

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  3. psychopath wouldn't hurt a fly.... very very funny, can't stop laughing here.

    nothing is funnier than the truth, but on a serious note, I am so glad I am not one of his friends.

    this is a great example of how to reach a sociopath, meaning tell what the incentives are, tell the rules, let him govern himself accordingly, and pray hard (figuratively speaking) that things won't break apart.

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  4. I prefer to think of it as "channeling" violent urges. Why kill today what you can kill tomorrow? If you plan really well, you might not get caught!

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  5. Non-socios get violent urges too! However, guilt and the desire to stay out of trouble is a great motivator. Guilt more than anything.
    Socios lack remorse though, if I am correct in saying so.

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  6. The only thing that stays in the way of me beating up the next dude with a cocky smug on his face is the stupid rules of society and his friends who probably back him.

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  7. I spread myself throughout the school, thanks to the segregation of various quads, and had a large network of 'friends' in multiple cliques.

    I did the exact same thing.

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  8. There's nothing stopping me.

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  9. Yeah, I really hate that guilt...

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  10. I was at a woman's house recently wondering how long it would take for her body to be found... scratched that thought. Her little dog was insane and I felt my body heating up. Wondered if the dog would be one of those that hates a person and warns its owner. Wondered if the heat could be smelled by the dog. Wondered if the imperceptible smell would be confused for fear by this dog. I looked dispassionately at it and concentrated on the thought that if this dog were to scratch or jump on me once more, I would gladly have a "reflex" and throw it full force against the wall to its death.

    The dog shut up and sat on its owner's lap.

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  11. Dreamer: Pet the dog. Purchase the dog's trust with a treat. Get to know the dog. Kill the woman. Do not let the dog sit on your lap.

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  12. I read in the news today that 1 in 5 americans have a mental illness.

    Not Me: Provided you show up today, perhaps it's now time for us to discuss the blind leading the blind, as we've covered the other two scenarios already.

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  13. 'I read in the news today that 1 in 5 americans have a mental illness.'

    wonderful. i mean it. that's fabulous.

    i'm having a truly shit day. I know that no one here cares but I just realised that my diagnosis means i'm sickeningly doomed. cluster b disorders are all blurred. I realised i'm more histrionic than borderline. i just didn't know what HPD was. fuck.

    apparently, it's typical for HPD women to have an NPD father. fits me to a t.

    'perhaps it's now time for us to discuss the blind leading the blind, as we've covered the other two scenarios already.'

    go ahead.

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  14. Well I can pretend to care, and you can pretend to accept it. Sorry your day is covered in shit disguised as chocolate topping on your diagnosis.

    You're not doomed though, you're just proof blind people can lead too when not kept in check. And to think I had more to say on that... (My infamous: Everyone's a psychopath statement)

    Last, I'm glad you showed up. Certainly you can agree more than 1 in 5 have a "mental illness", I mean consider the view from this side of the fence and what we've now only slightly discussed.

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  15. i would like to get a clear ASPD diagnosis. maybe you people can help.

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  16. Sorry your day is so bad. You honestly make (a lot) of sence on here, you can lead me any day.

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  17. thanks anon. your pretend caring melts my little heart. :)

    'you're not doomed though.' hmm, i'll get back to you on that, say, in five years?

    if i've understood you correctly,
    i would love to whole-heartedly agree with what you are suggesting. that it's all an illuuuusssion! but this is life. right? if you're different, even just a little, it's a difference too far. but we can't fight reality, there's a reason why people find us interesting/dangerous. and this is how it shall remain...

    i will say this and make you happy. i was told to stay in therapy for one year minimum. i left after four sessions. yeah, that's right. fuck the system! lol.

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  18. @ this i know.

    aww, so much fucking love today, what's going on here! the empaths have taken over. move over socios.

    :D

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  19. Blessed are the cracked for they shall let in the light !

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  20. Notme: who says sociopaths/psychopaths can't love? Certainly not M.E..

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  21. hey that's actually my favorite quote.
    except i know leonard cohen's take.

    'there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.'

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  22. @this i know

    hehe i prefer your version actually. and yes, it is true. *said with heavy heart*

    no one

    Oh I can love! boy can i love. or can I? hmm. yes. i am love for christ's sake! ;)

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  23. nice one Postmod

    I saw cohen in concert. he sang for about five hours! great stuff.

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  24. My ex said to me once that I didn't know all the stuff he has to hold back and I didn't ask for details because I knew what he was referring to. It must be very difficult to deal with these thoughts without any understanding of what they mean and what causes them. I would imagine anger would cause them or fear...or maybe they can be just intrusive thoughts..don't know but I can't imagine feeling this way without any concern that I might need help even to just talk about it with a psychologist. But I don't even know how that converstaion would go or how it would end.

    It's good to know that most of time people don't act on their thoughts.

    Grace

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  25. lolol the dog sat on her lap, not mine, anon 937! anyway, i couldn't possibly follow your cheeky advice; phone records would have placed me there. i should be so humored =)

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  26. Notme: My pretend caring ends at your explaining of that five year leap into the future. I've probably created a paradox of my own once or twice in my day, but this is not to say that I am brilliant nor that it was intentional. However, you may have a "fuck the system" from me as well. At least you have honesty.

    Dreamer: Patience, for it will all work out if it's meant to be.

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  27. @ no one 1.23

    sorry, i didn't realise what you were referring to there the first time. yes, i shall slap the back of my hand for that. i really should try harder to sometimes avoid skipping the rational stage in the feeling to speech process!

    @ anon 6.40

    I'm not usually one to concern myself with the past or the future. I think it's just my bullshit filter is not impeccable, and i'm impressionable to the moment, whether that entails pleasure or anxiety. that's natural for me.

    I do find your attitude a useful reminder though when i get a little caught up in the world's 'expectations' of me.
    i hope you can tell that with me, that's always very fleeting anyway. let's thank 'maladaptiveness' for that. lol i've done it again. ;)
    i'm in the fucking matrix. argh.

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  28. Apropos of nothing, I submit this. Though, to be fair, it is appropriate to use fiancé (with one "e") when referring to a male. So take that, internet video.

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  29. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  30. Hmm... I was eight when I broke a kids nose for the first time. How old were you others for your first serious attack on another?

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  31. Medusa is looking forward to heating up some crab rangoons, which she just discovered at the grocery.

    Is also speaking in 3rd person.

    Is not sure whether to bring the fur coat, or the other fur coat, and/or the rat/possum thing she got out of the claw machine.

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  32. Oh, wait... this isn't Facebook?

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  33. Probably when I was 8 and nearly wrecked a kid's arm (well, forearm... don't wanna give myself too much credit) with a claw hammer. Good times, good times. I think we were playing "builders" or whatever the hell kids call construction workers. As I recall, he tried to take something from my side of the pile and I didn't take too kindly to his presumptuousness.

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  34. Funny the roleplaying kids choose to do. Construction workers? Policemen? Housewives?

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  35. It just occurred to me how terrible I am at estimating my own age at any moment in my life. This was 2nd grade, so I was probably 6 or had just turned 7 (I was always the young kid in class). Irrelevant difference, perhaps, but you know how I am about those.~

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  36. Medusa: Would it surprise you to learn that my answer to "What do you want to be when you grow up?" was "Exterminator" until I was about 8 or 9?

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  37. I recall saying I wanted to be a hitman or a comedian when I was pretty young (in school, under ten).

    Those answers didn't go too well with my teacher, apparently.

    Everyone's gonna die some time, what's wrong with me making a buck off it? ;) Gotta love kiddy psycho logic.

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  38. PMS, mine was Queen in kindergarten, then later it was Wonder Woman, and by high school it was King.

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  39. you stupid fucks, you are nowhere near a psychopath, you are just fuckheads thinking high about themselves. you know nothing bout what really happens inside the head of a psychopath you are fucking frauds.

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  40. Anon - even were that true, why are you angry about it?

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  41. because they all act like life is such a wonderful thing and they are so ignorant in deceiving themselves. they think that they're so special and they act like they run this blog. their stupid little conversations flooding the comment area thinking they're entitled to opinions that are wrong about what they think they are.

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  42. Tell me your story or part of it, get some of that poison out Anon. Good place to do it just skip over the comments you don't want to acknowledge.

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  43. dude there's nothing to say. people posting shit round here are just fucking stupid. fuck them. wish i could chop them up. give them a little taste of suffering. they fucking chit chat around here like it's a fucking highschool reunion. smiling and exchanging pleasantries is not how a psychopath without a mask is, that's what i'm trying to avoid, stupid chit chat. they think about mind games and think that that's what they're doing. fucking rubbing against eachother. a mind game is when you take pleasure in someone suffering right next to you and they don't know that you can end it right away if you wanted to. that's what i get a high from. making my friends struggle getting out of shit that i put them in. fucking idiots.

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  44. lol anon. you're brilliant. let it all hang out why don't you. quit sitting on the fence.

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  45. these fucking idiots are fucking happy

    how could they be psychopaths if they get thrills from fucking small talk. they don't struggle they don't get frustrated. i fucking hate having to pose for society. if the motherfuckers i smile at and smile back at me would even know what goes on in my head, they would fucking start a riot chasing me with torches. i don't pretend cause it's fun. i pretend because it's the only way for me to not get in prison or get killed. i pretend to share their smiles and happy lives when in fact i only live frustration cause i can't stick a knife in their jugular artery and watch them bleed to death. now that would put a smile on my face. get it?

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  46. Because a sociopath would really care about other people falsely believing they are too, right?

    And...getting your friends into bad situations doesn't really count as a mind game. Anyone can do that and people do all the time.

    Grow up, dear.
    And maybe get your little anger problem sorted, too.

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  47. I think what you get left with is so temporary. Like smoke, when all you do is mess with and fuck other people's lives up. Have they ever caught on? I get disgusted with the chit chat also most of the time and have decided to leave a few piles but all and all it helps others wind down.

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  48. i knew i would get these kind of answers, cause you people don't fucking get it. it's not pleasure i'm after, it's fulfilment, it's relief. and for fucks sake, i only know what kind of fulfilment i get when someone dies or suffers. you think i'm not a psychopath? stupid fucks low life brain fucked assholes. i'm not angry, i'm frustrated. you don't know what it's like to live such a life. i bet you have loved ones. haha. loved ones.

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  49. Lol.

    Are you 12?

    No bonefied psychopath would come on here and feel the need to say shit like this. It's just stupidity.

    I smell inferiority complex and fear and lack of control.

    You ain't the first, love.

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  50. i'm with you anon 5.08.

    do you wanna stick a knife in my jugular artery?

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  51. i'm frustrated cause of people like you that think that their lives are so meaningful. you all deserve to die. :)

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  52. jeez. who here has said they think their lives are meaningful?

    i don't think you'll find that sort of talk here, if you look closely.

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  53. Stupid fucks maybe but ones that have learned how to channel out the frustration so they don't live in such a tight twisted place. Your in fucking pain yourself and don't say that no one else knows what it's like or lived that way ask how the hell to get past it because that's exactly what they have done.

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  54. Dude you need an rx. Try to learn how to control your thoughts...that's what sociopaths have to do. Who would want to go around and feel or think that way? Expecially when you can't execute those thoughts. You must be more than frustrated at this point. There is more to life than being angry and full of rage...you just have to get with that and GET HAPPY!!


    Grace

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  55. yeah, like put it all behind right? start new, go live or do something right? that's your advice.
    my answer is this: no. i like the power. what, you expect me to go out there and live a fucking meaningless life like you people do ? no fucking way, i'm not cut out for that. i'll just wait till the place and time comes when i will be free to channel all my anger into ruining into the ground people like you.

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  56. Well, you sure are pretty good at demonstrating that you have no power or feeling of control over your life whatsoever.

    i'm frustrated cause of people like you that think that their lives are so meaningful.

    +

    what, you expect me to go out there and live a fucking meaningless life like you people do ?

    =

    FAIL.


    Math is fun.

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  57. medusa, you're just plain stupid. shut up.

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  58. So your telling me your life is meaningful because you want to have the power of taking someone elses life. And........ then when you do you have brought meaning into this dismal existance ..... how?

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  59. ok anon. i feel ya. i do.

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  60. Heh. I smell inferiority complexes everywhere. Not compared to anyone in particular, just compared to the world. Sad.

    Infantile insults.. really effective.

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  61. You want to kill someone, just anyone?
    Not like someone who did something so vile to you that they deserve to suffer?
    Sounds like you just want to feel that you ended a life. You can and I can that's a fact but what does it accomplish? You make it sound like that would make your life meaningful. How the fuck is that the conclusion you come to?

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  62. my life is not meaningful. i don't even get that illusion. if i thought i had meaning i would probably do something useful. i don't see any meaning hence the frustration. i don't have something to explain to you so you could understand why i am doing the stuff i am doing. it just gives me a high doing it. i get frustration when i see meaningless lives acting all meaningful.

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  63. Have you thought that maybe you're just a normal person suffering from depression?

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  64. Have you thought that maybe you're just a normal person suffering from depression?

    no but that sounds interesting. fill me in.

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  65. quote:
    "Heh. I smell inferiority complexes everywhere. Not compared to anyone in particular, just compared to the world. Sad."

    Yeah, there's and inferiority complex right here.

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  66. ahem. i shall prescribe you some daniel birdick, postmodern and a notablepath. the rest of the gaggle wiil come around soon. ;)

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  67. We do, its survival.
    Your not here to do that, what or who twisted you into thinking that your meaningless?
    Smoke a blunt, does that do anything for you?
    God you sound like your in a self made prison already.

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  68. it's called dysphoria. a constant state of unease. you'll have it till you die or thereabouts, like me.

    am i helping? thought not.

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  69. We do, its survival.
    Your not here to do that, what or who twisted you into thinking that your meaningless?
    Smoke a blunt, does that do anything for you?
    God you sound like your in a self made prison already.


    I don't get what you're saying. Please be more explicit.

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  70. i don't have something to explain to you so you could understand why i am doing the stuff i am doing.

    Then why have you been doing just that since you appeared here?

    Seems to me like you are trying to convince everyone of the meaningfulness of your meaninglessness.

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  71. he needs some existentialist exorcism.

    where's birdick?!

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  72. And depression is treatable, I know.
    You sound like you have self hate and that can cause depression.
    Depression can come from the chemicals in your brain getting screwed up to the point your in physical pain to the point where it feels like your bodies ripping apart.

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  73. Well, I'm assuming you're male. Maybe you're not though. If so, males generally show depression through anger rather than sitting around crying.
    I really doubt you're a sociopath, you sound nothing like one. You want to kill, that's human instinct. You want power, that's human too. Everyone does. It's not just a sociopathic trait. But depression brings such instincts to the fore, I think.
    You hate that other people are happy - and of course you will, if you're depressed. You hate how other people are able to think life has some sort of purpose. Yes, the ignorance is definitely something to envy, when you can't deal with knowing, yourself.

    Oh, and once you suffer enough psychological pain you just stop feeling. That'd be a sign of depression too, if you often experience it.

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  74. i don't experience physical pain unless i cause it, which i do sometimes, cause i like it.

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  75. You either hate yourself immensely and/or you are a regular user who is feeling a lack of control for whatever reason.

    You too, Fred. That is, if you and anon are not the same person.

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  76. at anon 6:12

    ok, let's go on that lead. what do you advise?

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  77. We find meaning even if it's taking care of a cat. Something else to focus on. Sounds to simple but it works.
    Need a high find one. Runners high, smoke pot (don't drink)
    If you were made to feel worthless and meaningless you believing a LIE.
    Your worth every bit of strength you have to prove them wrong.

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  78. Pot is generally not a good recommendation for depression.

    Also, I do not buy the whole "depression is just a chemical imbalance" stuff people like to spout these days. It's mostly a cop-out and an easy way not to have to take responsibility.

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  79. Well, I'd go to a doctor and ask for anti-depressives of some sort. But I would avoid saying you'd quite like to kill someone - people get detained as soon as they're considered a danger, I think.
    Or there's counselling.

    Up to you, though. But it is best you get some form of help.

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  80. well, my two cents:

    i found meaning by rectifying/reversing (with the resources i have) the mistakes of my parents that caused me to struggle to find meaning in the first place.

    meaning = life goes on, that's all it means.

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  81. alright, got the most of it. i'll see you soon.

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  82. Yay, a pill for every emotion and frustration. Solved!

    Yay, world.

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  83. Finally, someone with sense (notme).

    Funny, I just read this Robert Frost quote today:

    "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life — It goes on."

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  84. Well, I did say 'or counselling', Medusa. I'm not saying I think he should get them and stay on them - he needs to learn to deal with it, of course; but if you're suffering that much, you need something temporary to make it stop.

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  85. If your gonna kill someone please start with Medusa the Queen of verbal vomit and alleviate our pain.

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  86. Well, you said pills OR counselling.

    When given the choice, most people will take the easy one.

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  87. i'll elaborate.
    for me, my meaning is in improving on my parent's state and experience of life.

    that motivates me. i will never be divorced from them, but i will learn and be aware that my success in life is determined by how i improve on what they provided for me.

    otherwise, nothing thrives and i may as well die now. that's the meaning i can muster, and it's enough, sometimes, even more than enough if i'm lucky.

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  88. Oh...you do have a point. But if you only tell someone to see a counsellor, they probably won't, will they? He needs SOMETHING. Pills are better than nothing.

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  89. If he's bordering on suicide, sure.

    I dunno. People can do what they want.

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  90. what pills? antidepressants? or something else?

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  91. yeah take the pills. depression, my kind, is pretty inherent. mine is not so-much circumstance-based. i've had it for ten years. i don't remember ever not having it. it's a part of me.
    ironically, i only started taking pills for it this year. i'm sooo tempted to come off them, but, there's no point right now.

    it's not a cop-out medusa, it sucks. pure and simple.

    by all means, get counselling, it's often highly illuminating, but it doesn't change your basic brain chemistry with all its vulnerabilities. just saying.

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  92. They're not smoking pot due to depression, they want to be "cool" and accepted because having a place exist for them to function would be therapy for them. For my lack of posting yesterday I'll just go ahead and say it. I absolutely love it when I find someone who needs pot to survive, I have only indulged while in suit. I also absolutely love it when I find someone with scars, they're tons more fun. Both mutilation and drugs alike are forms of compensation, the REAL borderlines are fluent in both usually and I find they often want to relate to me more than any personality on the planet.

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  93. then i'm not a REAL borderline, i just take the drugs, whatever i can handle, so not much.

    are you a socio? well then yes, it's a great partnership.

    i'd also say they do smoke for depression, to get the fuck away from their heads, but maybe for companionship too, obviously. that's the best part.

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  94. notme, I've dealt with near constant depression pretty much since I was born. Way longer than 10 years. But this is not a depression competition, just saying that I know what it's like. Crippling, comatose, completely non-functional type of depression. A living death.

    I was really close to taking them myself several months ago. Very very close, despite my thoughts on them, which have always been the same.

    Most I did was take some over-the-counter 5-HTP.

    But as Robert Frost also said:

    "The best way out is always through."

    But, as I said, people can do whatever they want or need.

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    1. Hahaha, depression competition. I like it.

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  95. I controlded a violent impulse once. I sawded a spider, and it was mean and ugly. But I didn't squishded it. I lickded it, and we was both happy as lawyers at the scene of an industrial accident. Eye r teh suck-sex-full sociopath.

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  96. Anon I was almost impressed but then your words turned into a wishing well. Your calling these people meaningless, but your comment has become meaningless to me. In one paragraph you excited me, only to dissappoint me. You should name yourself Peter Pan since the other is absent. You can climb up in trees and wish that tinkerbelle will take you to never never land where you can finally face the risks you were to cowardly to take in actual reality. You play mind games with your friends and laugh while they try to figure it out. No wonder your angry. You have no ambition and you blame everyone else for holding you back. You hold yourself back. You are like that wingnut kid that told all his classmates he was going to be the 'worlds greatest sociopath' and blow the school up. He didn't do shit. He ended up with no power at all, instead he ended up powerless in prison where real soldiers would eat people like you and him for breakfast.

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  97. That should take some more points from your human chart Ukan

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  98. I controlded a violent impulse once. I sawded a spider, and it was mean and ugly. But I didn't squishded it. I lickded it, and we was both happy as lawyers at the scene of an industrial accident. Eye r teh suck-sex-full sociopath.

    The lols in this are out of control.

    I vote this be the next featured comment.

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  99. It looks like the transcript for another A.D.D. Youtube video

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  100. Anon, if you're in good physical health go running everyday for a few weeks. You will see a difference. Not so much in your personality but on the rage o meter. Try it...seek help and if you need meds for a period of time or to talk then deal with it. You don't have to tell them what you have said here just that you're angry and irritated. Chances are it will just help you get it together but not change your desire to mess with people...doubt anything will change that. It's the rage that will do you in..for sure...cause no matter what path you decide to stroll on you still need self control. I’m sure you don’t want to ruin your own life.

    Grace

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  101. do you guys have some kind of test that i can perform on my mother and record what i feel that can tell me if i am a socio or not ?

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  102. What are you, fifteen? I haven't seen so much wangst since... well, the last teenage "sociopath" that wandered in and started spewing the class favorite, "No True Sociopath" fallacy.

    Okay, how about this? Life is devoid of meaning, right? And you want to make your parents' lives better, right? Why not free them from the grind of meaningless nothing? Just kill your parents. It's that simple, really.

    At least then you'd have some legitimate control over your life instead of blaming everyone else for your tremendous failings. Where's your vision? Your drive? Where's anything that makes you more than a skin bag full of water and meat?

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  103. This is a good article for me to read. Thank you for posting it. I am trying to play nice at school now, so they won't call me a psychopath again and won't look for me to do something bad. I do not think that I would like to live in an institution. I still want to set this shed in the woods near the library on fire, but I will wait for a while. How long should I wait? It has paint cans in it and should be good to watch.

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  104. For those in the know, mentally append a tilde at just about every point in that middle bit.

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  105. mt, you did not have a good enough youth. You're of lacking paint can explosions is too large of a void to treat. Suggest you get on with it, because you're going to fuck up down the road anyway. What's it all worth? Surely you can calculate that, at least.

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  106. Inexperienced Silliman: "if the motherfuckers i smile at and smile back at me would even know what goes on in my head, they would fucking start a riot chasing me with torches."

    Oh get the fuck off your bigbadman persona. They most likely would just recognize you're nuts and ignore you. You are not a big, bad, monstrous entity that will be chased out of a village as though you're Chupacabra.

    ISM: " i don't pretend cause it's fun. i pretend because it's the only way for me to not get in prison or get killed."

    Really? You'd get put in prison for your thoughts? Bahaha, you amuse me. No, like I said before, you'd just get ignored and distanced from others. Again, you're assuming you're important or threatening enough to be killed or put in prison. I highly doubt you've done anything extremely sinister, aside from masturbate mentally to your false grandeur.

    ISM: "i pretend to share their smiles and happy lives when in fact i only live frustration cause i can't stick a knife in their jugular artery and watch them bleed to death. now that would put a smile on my face. get it?"

    HOW DID I KNOW

    "I highly doubt you've done anything extremely sinister, aside from masturbate mentally to your false grandeur."

    Oh, you sad little kid, you.

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  107. 2: I'm not sinister :)

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  108. I highly doubt you've done anything extremely sinister, aside from masturbate mentally to your false grandeur.

    Dude, that really hurts. It makes me actually want to do something to prove you wrong. Nice going.

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  109. Haha Anon, you got sociopath'd. You go prove them wrong now.

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  110. I still want to set this shed in the woods near the library on fire, but I will wait for a while. How long should I wait? It has paint cans in it and should be good to watch.

    Brilliant. Maybe the shed is on the library property. Arson of government property should score big points and award big time. Genius.~

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  111. Finally, someone with sense (notme)

    Taken out of context, I laughed. Heartily.

    It doesn't matter if violent Anon is a kid, a psycho, depressed, or what not. His label isn't important. Console is.

    The abrasive language and outbursts are a bit obnoxious, but nothing I haven't dealt with before.

    You want a motivation in life? Posterity.

    You're going to die. You'll be a worthless pile of gore, serving no purpose (unless an organ donor) and you'll have nothing left but your reputation, and life's work.

    So go out there and do something. Be remembered. Divert that anger, or swallow it up and use it. Don't come here shitting over everyone and then begging for help.

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  112. Notable: "It doesn't matter if violent Anon is a kid, a psycho, depressed, or what not. His label isn't important. Console is.

    The abrasive language and outbursts are a bit obnoxious, but nothing I haven't dealt with before.

    You want a motivation in life? Posterity.

    You're going to die. You'll be a worthless pile of gore, serving no purpose (unless an organ donor) and you'll have nothing left but your reputation, and life's work.

    So go out there and do something. Be remembered. Divert that anger, or swallow it up and use it. Don't come here shitting over everyone and then begging for help."


    Why do you believe that being remembered is so important? It's a narcissistic lull to human self-importance, if you ask me. "Oh, my legacy, my importance, my materialistic accomplishments and mental devastations, it will all be concrete in stone. I will become immortal from this legacy of human suffering and advancement. I have successfully overcome death."

    (Oh... This sounds familiar. Oh right, Jigsaw made a lecture to this extent, epitomizing the silliness and absurdity in the idea that legacy matters.)

    I hate to divulge into a "personal attack", but the fact you put weight on being remembered is a bit telling of your narcissism, Mr. "Path".

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  113. i want to hear more about licking spiders. is it for the spider high?

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  114. You should already be building a legacy not talking about doing it.

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  115. Funny. I didn't realize being narcissistic was mutually exclusive from being sociopathic. I guess I missed that day in class.

    And UKan, I'd rather work on a legacy that means something. Not being a two-bit, cartoon criminal with a warped sense of pride. If anyone remembers you, it will be a loathsome man with a loathsome mouth and a loathsome mughshot.

    Pathetic. Your entire existence is a hollow lie. Go work on your human points scoreboard to appease your submissive girlfriend. You'll never be the man that she needs, as you're barely a man at all. You'll wander through life without aim, capitalizing on the weak for the bottom line and pride among villains. Hilarious.

    Go steal tomatoes from tramps and complain about racism. Mr. Internet Tough Guy.

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  116. Hi Aerianne,

    The shed is not on the library's property. And I need to burn something. I can wait, but I really want to. I feel good when things are on fire. It makes me sleep really good.

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  117. Ha not able. You are nothing. You sit here and tell us your pathetic stories of your boring life that three quarters of the readers skip, its desperate. You advertise your retarded trite blog on here that if anyone is dumb enough to read is surely dissappointed. What have you done in your life but contemplate, and wonder. The sole action and devious deed you have done to leave a legacy is beat some kid in a racial beating to fit in with the rest of the cowards you wished you could hang out with.
    What of your family life. Your mother was a slut and your father didn't care. I could see why because just reading two of your very first comments I knew you were a mark. I knew and I targeted you, because that's how I am. I am a vulture. I chew on the dead corpses of people like you who will fake to be anything just so they can be accepted. You fraud.
    Your family doesn't care about you because your nothing. You can't contemplate leaving a legacy because people wouldn't even show up to your funeral to pay their respects. Why should they? What impact have you made? Maybe your family read the writing on the wall and cut their losses.
    Keep your imaginary morals, and sociopathic conduct you sucker. People like you come up to me every week in my life trying to prove that they are hard. I look I their eyes and all I see is apple sauce. I fire them on missions until they destroy themselves. How far into the fire will you walk for me until you beg me to scrape your ashes from the furnace?

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  118. Oh god, UKan, leave him be. All you ever seem to do is go on about how much better you are than everyone else...

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  119. mt said...
    Hi Aerianne,

    The shed is not on the library's property. And I need to burn something. I can wait, but I really want to. I feel good when things are on fire. It makes me sleep really good.


    mt, leave the shed alone. if you must play with fire, build a bonfire, somewhere safe. use that need or whatever it is that's driving you to make something out of yourself. burn it in your mind.

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  120. @mt

    You shouldn't set the shed on fire. Find an acceptable venue in which to burn things if controlling your impulses isn't an option right now. You say there are woods- are you in the country? Maybe you can organize a bon fire with some neighbors or burn some trash or leaves to help your parents out. Get permission first, because that isn't legal everywhere. I know this is really lame, but you will certainly land yourself in jail if you don't find another way to get your pyro fix. Good luck.

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  121. @Zoe

    :) I had totally just began the same suggestion.

    @mt

    Twice the advice against shed burning and for something more acceptable- take heed.

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  122. Wow this is compelling! Socio nurturing ;-)

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  123. @Gag

    Nurturing might be a strong word ;) I like to tell people what to do.

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  124. Sounds more like your own autobiography.

    Poor old UKan and his stereotype broken home.

    It's nice having a family that loves you. And you'll never know what that's like.

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  125. As always, I sleep through all the most fun bits. Sigh.~

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  126. Oh, Jesus, Notable. Was that the best you could come up with? "Your parents don't love you"? How very 6th grade.

    Now tell him he's adopted.~

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  127. @Pythias et.al.
    ..and why would you tell this person what you did? Does it matter to you what this kid does?

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  128. One less person with ASPD not in prison.

    After all, we have a pristine rep to maintain.~

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  129. I say burn the fucker down. Hell, burn your school down, too.~

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  130. Talk about vicarious junkies. Well guess you heard it. Good luck Kid! See you in some future topic header here.

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  131. Why assume he's telling the truth?

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  132. Act normal, live the way you want. If you feel like you want to watch something burn, by all means let it cook. Nobody can tell you what to do.
    Notables response summed up: "I know you are but what am I."

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  133. @Gag
    See you in some future topic header here.
    Oh boy, another "Sociopath in the News" article in the making.

    ..and why would you tell this person what you did?
    Am I telling someone about something I did? I told mt what to do to avoid going to prison. Because I like to waste my time. Here. With people who claim to be sociopaths.

    Does it matter to you what this kid does?
    Why would it? Now he's a big time offender, but I remember when he was just some sweet kid with arson tendencies. *sentimental tear*~

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  134. There was a rabid dog running and snapping at my heels when I was out cycling the other day, but I just assumed it wasn't being truthful.

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  135. 7 billion opinions already, should there be any thoughts for children?

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  136. Thoughts "for" children? Of course, as long as the general thought "on" children is that they remain as delicious as they've always been.

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  137. Pythias said...
    @Gag
    See you in some future topic header here.
    Oh boy, another "Sociopath in the News" article in the making.

    ..and why would you tell this person what you did?
    Am I telling someone about something I did? I told mt what to do to avoid going to prison. Because I like to waste my time. Here. With people who claim to be sociopaths.


    i too want mt to avoid going to prison. i have no idea where mt lives and don't want my home one day burned down by him.

    if you need to be around fire, become a fire fighter, mt. women love them. :)

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  138. Darlings, do you feel the love in the air?

    How about you and Ukan shack up, since his submissive girlfriend is way beyond his league? You obviously like to play dominatrix.~

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  139. Yall have no lives

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  140. As someone like you, I'm curious what in specific have you done my manipulate your anger. I'm a bit younger then you most likely so my current method isn't the best fix as it's conditional and the condition hasn't happened for like 3 weeks. Hence an issue presenting itself.

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