Hey. I'm so glad that you responded. Last night we were out with friends and he got drunk and stoned like the night I described in my first email. He started acted very "sociopath-ish" again(i e in the cab he told me that he hated being in a taxi b/c he wasn't in control because he wasn't the one driving), things like that...
He tends to pick fights when he's had some drinks so we began arguing, He is relentless and seemingly never grows tired of it. When he gets like that it's as if he could talk AT me for hours. On the other hand, I'm emotionally drained after these encounters.
After some fighting, I eventually just came out and asked him if he thought he was capable of loving me. He actually got furious (which rarely happens). And a little choked up. And his response was "Aren't I giving you what I need? I try so hard to give you what I need. I give you everything I have." My response to that was that I knew that he tried (I feel like he REALLY does) but what if I wanted to be loved? He said that he had what it takes to love, that he was in the process of getting there, and that you have to "work" hard to get what you want sometimes. I almost started crying at that point b/c as an empath you know that you don't have to "try" to love someone, you just do. It just happens. I think he desperately wants to be loved, TO LOVE and to have all of it.
I am definitely going to watch the movie that you suggested. I've been reading everything I can get my hands on about sociopathy. I have no idea what I want from him, and I'm constantly questioning what it is he gains from me (I think it's the companionship, and also the sex). Part of me is telling me just to walk away, but as I said earlier, I think he is just too interesting, and I really do care about him.
You can absolutely publish this or my previous email. I would just prefer that you dont use my name...initials work or something. I would be happy to help since you've already helped me a ton. Thank you so much for responding. I was really happy to see a response today from you.