Friday, June 5, 2009

Am I a sociopath? (part 1)

So wonders a reader:
Hello.

I think I might be a sociopath, but I'm not sure. I don't have a conscience per se, it's more like a logical guide for what is right and wrong. Nothing turns my stomach, no type of immoral behavior enrages me unless I'm on the receiving end. All of my responses, even my "emotional" responses, are calculated and performed.

I know I'm not the smartest person on the planet--VERY WELL, but I feel it. As far as my heart and soul are concerned, there is nobody smarter on this planet, even though the very mind in question knows that's not the case.

I use people when I can, so long as it doesn't hurt them in the process. I'm not sure if that's because I don't want to hurt people or because I'd like to believe I'm not manipulative. Generally speaking, I don't lie about anything except for my feelings.

But I don't go out of my way to hurt people. I actually go out of my way NOT to hurt people. Pretty much my entire life IS an act, and I don't really know who I am... but I'm definitely not normal, nor do I fit all of the negative aspects of the sociopath stereotype.

What does this sound like to you? I'm asking because as much as I'm able to make sense of the world around me, I cannot for the life of me make sense of myself. That is the one thing that my mind can't penetrate. I can state facts about what I do, what I don't do, my habits and tendencies, etc, but trying to form an opinion about myself is like walking through a minefield of self-deception and convenient stray thoughts.

338 comments:

  1. The Inquiring Soul wrote: “I cannot for the life of me make sense of myself.”

    If I was a betting man, I’d bet that the reason you can’t understand yourself is because you’re using faulty (i.e. inaccurate) concepts to do it. You’re possibly using concepts that are descriptive of “normals” to examine yourself and finding that it doesn’t add up. M.E.’s response to your inquiry was clear and incisive, partly because he’s pointing you towards a way of thinking about yourself that will prove more useful to you than the “neuro-typical” way has.

    You’re not normal. You never have been. You never will be. Accept it, embrace it and then use it to your advantage.

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    1. I may be a sociopath. Since i was a child i can remember how i coukdnt feel. I mean someone saying they loved me made me feel weird because i didnt feal the same. A hug would make me kringe. . Just to putt fealings into words sewmed impossible. Now that im an adult i have learned people are attractwd tome men and women most of the time i try to get something i need from them but all the while telling rhem i dont want anyrhing serius. And once they are tired of tryng to buy or possess my LOVe they leave or ibreak it off. Usually ends in tears and some enotional ride that they want to put me threw for hurting them. My only sense of this is you shiuldnt have thought i would love you for what materual things u gave me. I know im a horrible person most the time i have been alone because of this. Im not sure but i have had epilepsy my whole life and i think it shut off that part of my brain. I dobt intentionaly want to hurt abtone but not being abke to live someone in return must be a very painfull thingfor the person on the wrong end. I cry from being so lonely and eventry to be good w people. Im notsure whats wrong w me. Or if it can be fixed.

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    2. i am sorry u r wrong. if u had issues of emotional distance while at a young age. it is highly improbable that u r a sociopath. it would be more logical to say a form of depression. in many cases of depression there are disillusion of grandeur. in a remarkable overturn when people self diagnose they are wrong. seek a pro. for help.

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    3. I like when people are like "Seek a professional", when they seem to cost an arm and a leg to wind up probably giving you an inconclusive diagnosis. So nine times out of ten, anything anyone can find out, whether through a graduated psychologist or a Wikipedia article can pretty much be labeled bullshit.

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    4. People who think they are sociopaths don't want anyone else to be labeled that way too. They are just a little less special.

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  2. (George Cromwell III)

    Tears of a clown... Tears of a clown.

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    1. My ex of six years on and off constantly. Reason for i would break with him. We would be great then bamm alienate me in my own home. Then the blame game. Off course after i tried to have a talk about what was wrong or if i had done something again without realizing it. Usually never ended in any real arguments with emotion just how its my fault and how worthless i am. Then him walking out to leave medevistated in my own tears. Him nothing as if it disnt bother him one bit. Yet weeks later he calls usually for bpoty call. Or if the people that were helping him ran out of help. Then off course he missed me or canr live without me once again. My biggest fear is i have taken on some of these dociopathic trates and now use them to protect myself from other people even if there normal. I find that i cannot muster up fealings for people. I have always looked for the good in everyone but after him i find it hard to even try. Is this normal? Evven now he still checks on me geussn he seeing if i have my worth back for him to come suck out again. Only this time i have packed up and ledt the state. Maybe a bit extreme but for me it was the only way to keep him fro knocking on my door.

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  3. As I understand sociopathy, introspection is not even wthin the realm of possibility. You're far too introspective to be a sociopath. I grew up with a father who was a sociopath and have worried all my life that I would grow up to be one too. But a psychologist once told me that the very fact that I worried about it meant that I wasn't one. So I say the same thing to you. The way you're analyzing yourself, your thoughts, your feelings means you couldn't possibly be a sociopath. You have a conscience. It's based in logic perhaps more than emotion, but that doesn't matter in the slightest. It's logical to treat others in society with a certain measure of care and respect in order to keep the social order functioning. That is still a conscience. Sociopaths don't understand this on an emotional, logical, or any other level.

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    1. Actually you're wrong there because sociopaths like anyone else are capable of thinking on a logical but like most people most sociopaths choose not to. The thing here that I don't understand is why its necessary for me to preserve your boring social structure.

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    2. I'm a sociopath and self introspection is a huge part of it. We know we are different. I'm a man of science and reason with an IQ that's only found in 1 in 50,000 people and although I don't believe in God in anyway, I would not have been the least bit surprised if he showed up to me and said, "you are the second coming of Jesus." I would have said, "yeah, that makes sense."

      It took me 30 years of introspection and very acute knowledge of the self to figure out I wasn't part of a cosmic destiny. Through obsessive introspection and then comparing one's self with everyone else and the differences, you start to truly master the psyche of empaths. Empaths have feelings to act on, but also empaths feelings control them, so its impossible to know if there logic is ever 100% logical. At any rate... self-introspection is used even more so by sociopaths than empaths, especially those who aren't sure why they are different. We experience loneliness (it's a bit more like frustration), but it does motivate us to find a connection to anyone. I think sociopaths who haven't figured it out are on a constant journey of self-introspection.

      I get slightly raged when empaths tell people how we think, like they know us.

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    3. I'm a self-declared Psychonaut and an aspiring Shaman. Introspection is my past-time. I am also a sociopath.

      The most frustrating thing about being a sociopath is that we are alone in a way that neurotypicals could never even begin to fathom. Granted, I rarely feel "lonely" anymore, but in my heart I know that I am, and always will be, TRULY alone. I will NEVER know [again] what it feels like to long for another person's company, to miss them when they are not there, or to be excited to see them once more. I haven't felt any of that in many years. I can't even remember what it feels like. I will live and die alone, forced to watch every person around me chase that glorious high that only emotions can deliver... that I'll never be able to feel... but yet, I'm demonized as a heartless, soulless monster who exists only to tear down the lives of NTs.

      To any NTs reading, I want to offer up an opportunity for you to walk in my shoes for a moment.

      I've got a lot of friends. Well, acquaintances, rather. People like me, and not just because of some superficial charm. True, a good bit of my charm is superficial, and yeah, most of my social interactions feel forced or downright faked, but people like me for a different reason. Despite my less-than-human existence and my inability to form emotional connections, people are always drawn to me when they need help or advice. I even used to think I was an empath because of it, hahaha

      But no, people are drawn to me because I know how to listen (to be fair, I known how to pretend to listen extraordinarily well. People are just so damn boring). More than that, I know how to listen without judging. I'm not bogged down by all of these petty, trivial emotions, so I don't look at other people with the same silly emotion-based prejudices that everyone else does. If I like someone, I accept them for all of who they are, the good and the bad. Not to toot my own horn, but it is truly unconditional. I can be "friends" with anyone. Definitely part of my gift (I've never been one to rock the boat).

      Still with me? Good. Now think about all your friends. Think about how you feel about them. Hold on to that while you read this next part:

      I've got friends that I've known pretty much all of my life. I've got friends that should be closer than family. I've got friends that have been through hell and back with me, who would show up at my beckon if needed... and that bothers me... a lot... because I'll never be able to return that.

      It's very difficult to explain, but no matter how much I want to want other people, I never do. No matter how much I want to need to feel close to another human being, I never do. No matter how much I want to be human, I never am.

      I don't miss people when they walk away. Not anymore. Out of sight truly becomes out of mind. And I do feel bad about it from time to time, but it doesn't change. It never does. People walk out of my life and it feels as though nothing has changed.

      I had one of my supervisors at work die a few months ago. She was a very nice lady, very hardworking, very fair. I liked her very much. She was one of my favorite supervisors ever, for any job.

      But when I found out she died, I felt... nothing. Most of my coworkers were standing around fighting tears or shamelessly crying and I felt cold and empty.

      They say we don't feel guilt, but I do. I felt guilty that day. I felt guilty that this women I liked and came-as-close-to-respecting-as-I-could died and all I could do was think "wow, that's... sad".

      And a few moments later, it was as if nothing at all had happened.

      I know I'm a monster. But I also know that it's not my fault.

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    4. I feel the same way...

      But really? A shaman? Get real.

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    5. After reading your letter ands after having a long term relatioship with a "tru" sociophath I can see that you are very manipulative in your letter trying to swade the reader towards what you want them to belive. For isntance that you don't lie, or that you don't hurt people, you are unable to see yourself for who you are and you were so manupulative on that letter I amost felt for it BRAVO! You are a true sociopath.

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    6. I definitely can relate, and I also agree that introspection is a useful things. It is a strange thing however, that even though I share the same ideas and experiences with you, I know if we met I wouldn't have any more of an ability to value you over the next person. I have this chasm that exists in my relationships. I can see people as being more or less useful to my life, but switch them out with another person with the same resources and I don't ever miss them. Sure if there is not someone to replace them, I might say to myself, it's unfortunate to not have so and so around, I liked how he always drove me places, or I might miss the sex life of an ex, but never the person gone. And I do think it is unbalanced, and I often see people with emotions exchanging resources in a way that seems much more fulfilling to them both. I know that is something I will never have, no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to care or empathize with another human being. So what would you do, if you knew that you were unable to feel that fulfilling connection? Yet you knew that you needed connection to have any fulfillment. well I think you would logically do what every sociopath in one way or another does, and that is act it out, do your best to play the part...and what really is the difference for the person who doesn't know you are acting?

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    7. buncha winey loosers this site is useless and so are all of you

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    8. Sorry to person who posted the original question/ discussion.To the person who posted Anonymous April 4, 2012 5:33 PM I feel that I am experiencing the same waking state/walk of life that you are in.
      I am also a sociopath as well as a self declared psychonaut and an aspiring shaman. Just like you I have “friends” or people I keep around to entertain myself and this bothers me just like you because I know in my head as well that I can’t return the favor that is of being an actual GOOD FRIEND.Not only do I relate to you in this sense; I have also had almost the same kind of experience that you have had with that of a person dying as well.Wasn’t my co-worker but was somewhat of an acquaintance. But when that person overdosed on heroin with the intention of committing suicide and succeeded I automatically said to myself in my head while others were astonished in shock holding back tears and spewing them out moments later that his suicide made sense. That only life happens. People die. Oh, what a sad thought..but move on because it doesn’t apply to me let alone do anything for me anymore. I know I am a monster just like you. But all of this makes me very nervous frustrated and sad with myself.
      My question to you is..How they hell do you go on living day to day? Because I ultimately want to kill myself even though I know that I am a monster too and it's not my fault...?I am in no ways saying that you should be feeling the same as I am (just making that clear).I just really need some sort of motivation to keep keeping on with what is life(because my basic instinct is survival).

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    9. I think you are wonderful and honest! Keep up the good work

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  4. Hi,

    You're gifted, and have a conscience. Never stop asking who you are.

    Take care,

    Brandon

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  5. I think Introspection is what makes the difference between really bad sociopaths, and sociopaths who do what's practical for a long term. I think there are types of sociopaths, and I think no psychologist can tell you that because they're told not to treat you or study you after they figure out you're a sociopath. If you want to learn about yourself, you can't rely on what the psychology books say. They're taught not to study you and they want us to go by their definition. For example, "compulsive lying". Sociopaths don't lie compulsively. It's impractical. they manipulate. Compulsive lying is what the weak manipulatees call it. Some sociopaths may introspect. I for example, am an introvert, but sociopathic at heart. You sound at the very least to have tendancies, and you'll learn most from people who are different like you. A very small percentage, but easy to spot when you know yourself. Embrace the sociopath in you. It's ok.
    And as far as the trying not to hurt people. That's just smart. Not Karma wise, but good things come back to you. If you try to hurt people, you make enemies and they attack you and that's dumb. So you're just an intelligent sociopath. the dumb ones destroy things. There are guarentees in life. You don't have to worry about foul people because foul people are dumb... to be foul you hjave to be. It makes enemies.

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    1. I agree with you completely.

      I for example am a very cruel person when I need to be but I don't go out of my way to be cruel but rather act accordingly to the situation in a manner that would benefit me the most.

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    2. I believe that introspection is more common among us than we receive credit for. From what I've seen and read, a solid portion of Asocial/Antisocial people are highly intelligent. I hate to make cause-effect assertions on such little evidence, but it seems to me that there is a very direct correlation between high intelligence and issues with social adjustment. Can't imagine why that is... [/sarcasm]

      Intelligence is alienating.

      Especially when you can't help but look through the illusory veil at every turn... the one that no-one else seems to see...

      Ok, a few points I want to make before I'm fully derailed:

      1) The distinction between a sociopath and a compulsive liar needed to be made. Thank you. I am not a compulsive liar. I only lie when I need to, and I rarely enjoy it. It doesn't bother me too much, doing what I have to do to get by, as I've always done, but it's not like I get my kicks by manipulating people... probably because there is no sport in it. People are way too easy to deceive. I have no problem looking someone dead in the eye and lying to them. It absolutely crushed my ex to discover this, but to be fair, she shouldn't have tried to get me to stop smoking pot.

      2) I'm definitely an introvert. I love spending time alone in quiet reflection, just thinking... pondering the workings of the universe (mostly metaphysics)

      3) I may be a sociopath, but I do not go out of my way to hurt people. In fact, I go out of my way to avoid hurting people (though generally because I can't be arsed to deal with the fallout, but a lot of times it is because I actually care about the person and do not want to see them hurt).

      That being said, if you piss me off, I will destroy you. I will bite my tongue and swallow my pride until I receive just the right amount of provocation, and then all bets are off. I rationalize my outburts with "Well, I gave you several opportunities to shut the fuck up and walk away, but you pushed the issue."

      I feel like I'm more than fair when I passively let the person vent steam. If only they knew when to stop...

      I'm not a violent person, nor do I ever see myself using physical violence as a means to an end (mostly because of the legal ramifications), but that doesn't mean I can't rip you apart. I'm extraordinarily talented at reading body language and non-verbal or tonal cues. I can look someone in the eyes and feel like I know every intimate detail about them. I *understand* people, in a way that no-one else seems to. I see everything about you, even all that shit you bury deep so that no-one sees. People who piss me off get to live in the lime-light for a while.

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    3. I was diagnosed very early on in life with AsPD. I am not a compulsive liar either. I don't feel bad when I do lie, I just don't see a reason for it. There are other forms of manipulation other than lying.

      I thought that part of what you said deserved a reply.

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    4. My God you people are really really sick. Now i see why all the studies and conclusions have shown that when a normal human being, like myself, comes across one of you to get the hell out of the way fast and furious. i wouldn't be able to live on this earth if i was as selfish, unloving, unkind, manipulative, deceitful, and cruel as you abnormal unhuman things are! yea, i called you things. not animals (they deserve far more respect than you). how does it feel to be the one thing that a psychologist or psychiatrist will turn their backs on? thats pretty damn bad when they know that there is no hope for the hateful evil person that lurks inside! i feel for all of the helpless prey that have been abused by your kind. do the world a favor and lock yourselves inside of 4 walls, throw away the key, and close all blinds! Period!

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  6. Spot on jasnowflake. It all depends on who you are, which determines what you’ll want. If you want instant gratification, then you do the things that are supposedly typical of the sociopath. If you have a long term agenda however, you strategize, you act in a way that some might describe as Machiavellian. Intelligence and pragmatism become key in that circumstance. Either way, it’s all good. The “problem” is that people forget that just there are different kinds of normals or “empaths”, there are different kinds of sociopaths.

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    1. Machiavelli was a genius. He is my guiding light.

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  7. Your description actually sounds more like Aspberger's than APD. The sociopath in my life never would've questioned the way you seem to be doing. He was misdiagnosed, which I'm learning is not uncommon, with Aspbergers. There are a lot of similarities in emotional comprehension. Look into that as an option for yourself as well. Either way, seek professional help... maybe not to "get better" per se, but just to understand.
    -HB

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    1. No way! One of the key symptoms of Aspberger's- in fact, the BIGGEST and most immediately discernable is the fact that patients with Aspberger's have a VERY difficult time making sense of the outside world, PARTICULARLY the emotions of others. Many patients with Aspberger's can barely distinguish between rage, fear, or sorrow in the facial expressions of their fellow human beings. However, in order to pass for normal, a sociopath MUST understand these expressions- and be able to reproduce them when appropriate- in order to convince the rest of the world that they can feel emotions to the same extent as the rest of humanity does.

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  8. I am worried sometimes that I am a sociopath. I have a very hard time getting in touch with real emotions - even as far as my wife and children are concerned. It's like I intellectually know I love them but I don't really feel it. Of course, I wonder if that could be a side-effect of the severe depression I have suffered with my whole life (it runs in the family). A coping mechanism to handle my depression has been not let myself feel very much, because that tended to set off a depressive episode - and perhaps I have internalized that mechanism so much it has affected my ability to feel. I am very self-centered, but I wonder if it could be for the same reason. I have never been violent or cruel to animals. I was never a bed-wetter. On the other hand, I have been an insommniac for a very long time. My wife does not feel loved by me and I have trouble getting in touch with feelings of love for her. I show quite a bit of compassion, in particular, for the elderly. I do tend towards the grandiose and sometimes make myself out to be more than I am. I tend to keep to myself and do things like watch television and read.

    One last thing...and this is not about me per se. I have noticed out there that there is little to no compassion for people with sociopathic disorder. Do they not suffer? Did they choose to be as they are? Why do other diseases get so much sympathy but this one, which really prevents you from living a full life, does not?

    Thanks for reading.

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    1. Its because sociopaths actively study and attempt to understand human beings from a neutral perspective and are capable of seeing through them and that makes them feel vulnerable. People lash out against things that make them afraid.

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    2. You put that into words far better than I could have hoped to (and I had been trying for a while).

      I get a lot of curious or wary looks (I'm told I have very piercing eyes). I'm used to those.

      But it's the fear that throws me off. Every now and then, someone sees me for what I am, and I can read the fear etched all over their face like I read last night's dinner menu.

      And it's equally delicious and satisfying

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    3. I found this an interesting article:http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/display/article/10168/55051
      I find it interesting however, it does show a bit about human nature and how there is a strong desire, opposed to the one you spoke of, to empathize and make normal the things they don't understand. I see the same thing in my counselor, I will tell her things that I know are socially unacceptable, like how sometimes I hate how useless some people are, and that I get so tired of acting to get what I want. And she will turn it around to be an acceptable and understandable behavior. She is somewhat new to the field however. I really don't want sympathy, I don't really mind that people fear me, they are both aspects of emotions and judgement that I really don't agree with or understand.

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  9. To anonymous above's last statement regarding sympathy for the sociopath. I completely agree. I actually stumbled across this site because I have been looking for a source that is exactly that. Lastnight I spent hours scanning the shelves of Borders looking for books on the subject and all I found was a book telling people to beware of the sociopath that may be in their life and how to spot them. Not a single book that said you may or may not be a sociopath, but here’s a way to live a fulfilling life regardless. I’ve gotten the same old “If you care enough to ask yourself these questions, then you’re not a sociopath” by the one person I have confided in it to.” But I’m not curious because I want any kind of serial killer title… who would? I don’t want to be ostracized any more than I already do to myself. I also have never hurt small animals (well besides the whole ‘does the cat always land on its feet’ experiment that I think every kid did) and I was never a bed wetter. And I’m not asking anyone on this site to psychoanalyze me, I’m just saying that all the things you mentioned, you’re not alone. And I’ll offer a brief version of my personal take on it. I think you’re highly intelligent. Too intelligent. You see through façade and you can’t lie to yourself to take part in it. You go through life playing the role because you know that it’s best in the long run and you form relationships with people only based on the benefit it brings you, but who doesn’t? The difference is you know what lies at the heart of your motivations and I think that makes for a much more fulfilling relationship for the other person whether they know it or not. And here’s how I know you’ll never be a serial killer. Well, this is of course based on my own experiences solely, but I think the types of sociopaths that become serial killers are the ones that only learned violence when they were younger in some way or another while the sociopaths that seem to function competently, sometimes even more so than the average “sane” person learned something else. I personally, grew up only with my mother. While violence was one of her favorite persuasive techniques the manipulation I always found was much stronger. I watched how she always got what she wanted manipulating other people and for a long time succumbed when she used it on me (i.e. making my stuffed animals “talk” to me to tell me to go to the store and steal things for her.) I’m not like her to that extent and I have been very successful in life and am even married (to a very understanding man). This is obviously very oversimplified, but think about it, one thing they always say about serial killers is how smart they were, how high their IQ was. So I think we can conclude that we should abolish the word “sociopath” and embrace “supremely intelligent” instead. :)
    p.s. I just made a new livejournal and haven't figured out how to use it yet, but I'll include my username here so maybe someone could comment in it?
    It's lolaaaaah

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    1. umm...since when did anyone mention serial killers?
      ...just wondering...

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  10. Everyone is an individual! Whether you are suffering from APD NPD bipolar disorder or nothing at all. We don't all fit into the tight little box that the books state would should. It is because there is no one willing to take us seriously there is no real indepth literature on psychopathy from the point of view of one. There are high functioning sociopaths and there are low functioning sociopaths. There are sociopaths who don't resemble the extreme negative behaviors of some sociopaths and there are some that do. If every sociopath was a negative one who lives in pure reckless abandon the streets would be lined in bodies and the world covered in blood.

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    1. ur all freakin weird and scary as hell and should be quarantined from normal functioning society. i mean you refer to yourselves as "super intelligent". How intelligent is it to place yourselves, happily i might add, in a category with the likes of people who have tortured innocent animals and other helpless humans? i presume the only happiness you ever received (if thats possible)was watching silence of the lambs, or hannibal lecter. or perhaps it was keeping up with the exciting (to you) coverage of the terror and torment conveyed to others by jeffrey dahmer as he took a helpless child and performed a labotomy on his brain with acid. shame it wasn't done to him instead. and you call yourselve's super intelligent! super evil is what we call it!

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  11. lolololol, read quite a few wannabe sociopaths in these comments, which is beyond pathetic.
    Sociopaths leave a trail of human wreckage in their wake, there is nothing good to be said for them. A couple of people seem to be on a 'data' or 'spock' trip...fine, I stopped bothering when I was 10 but have fun with yourself.

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    1. You really are quite stupid. You wouldn't know a sociopath if he hit you in the face and the pathetic thing is that instead of trying to learn you attempt to label all "bad" people as sociopaths.

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    2. I agree with Closet_Sociopath.
      Sociopaths aren't monsters. We don't all just magically carve a swathe of destruction out of spontaneity. Regardless of how we process information or interact with other people, we are still human beings.
      You shouldn't confuse other people with your uneducated preconceptions.

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    3. While I do disagree with stealthy ninja on the idea of a sociopath leaving bodies everywhere, I can agree that there are too many wannabes here. If you take advantage of someone you shouldnt give two shits about how they feel, even though it usually bites you in the butt later on. It sucks when you lie blatantly and people still believe you, because it makes you feel like everyone really does deserve to be used.

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    4. Screw it; they do deserve to be used. After all, their fault for being idiotic.

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    5. you are an idiot. consider yourself lucky your dad talked your mom out of shoving that heated coat hangar up her infected sntch.

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  12. Just like any mental disorder everyone is different there are symptoms that help to identify them ..you could exzibit all of them or just a couple there isnt a text out there that states how you will feel or think ... you are still you the disorder doesnt defy you .. you on the other hand defy it in your own wayy.. you are yourself even if you dont knnow or understand who that is yet I knnow i sure as hell aint figured it out yet but it only comes with the first step knowing u dont know who your are then making another step to identifying yourself.....
    This is my philosophy from a sociopath herself =))... just because your a sociopath doesnt mean your a psycho-killer it just means you have issues with familiar human emotions it usually starts out with Insecure Attachment (look that up) you dont understand them unless it effects you but nothing really effects you because you dont neccessarily feel it you just know you should because thats the "norm" and it drives you crazy because you dont but you become to except it ...

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  13. Followup:
    Quite some time has gone by, and though I still don't know if I'm a sociopath, it's much easier to accept my sociopathic tendencies. I don't care so much about manipulating or hurting people. In quite a few ways, I've gone back to my roots, before I started questioning anything. I still do what I can to stay out of trouble, but I don't deny myself happiness just because I can't get it the "normal" way. I know I'll never be able to connect with anyone, so when I need intimacy, I make it happen, even if it means deception. I know that nobody would ever like me for the selfish and cold person I am deep down, so I culminate favor and cash in when I need it. Maybe this is Asperger's, and maybe it's sociopathy. I don't really care any more, as long as I can make it work for me, and I've been seeing real-world results for months.

    Thanks to all of you for helping make that possible. This blog has been an invaluable resource in my search for understanding, for honing my techniques, and for steeling my resolve.

    Kisses and hugs!
    xoxoxoxo

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  14. Hi, there seems to be a lot of misunderstanding going on here.

    Sociopaths are people who do not have a social conscious, they are individuals who specifically do not care about the impact their behavior has on other people.

    You are obviously not a sociopath, if you were one there is no current path for treatment available to you, because sociopaths do not believe there is anything wrong with them, and numerous case studies have shown that therapy does not work on sociopaths because they lie and manipulate to get through with it, or they learn from it new strategies to help them better disguise their selves.

    Not only bad people do bad things.

    The fact that you are voluntarily seeking help is indeed evidence that you are not a sociopath.

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    1. That's not the point. She doesn't care about society the thing is that even we cant don't care about society most of us recognize that society can be of use or amusement to us if we manipulate the naive people in it. Plus "bad" things? How naive can you get? I'm selfish and I know it and I don't give a fuck if my actions affect your life in a bad way as long as it doesn't consequences for me. Hell I might even do bad things to you intentionally if it benefited me enough.

      Delete
    2. This isn't a plea for help, it's a quest for understanding. Wanting to know more about yourself or to be able to put on what you're feeling (or not feeling) is a very human thing. And yes, sociopaths are human too.

      Also, this whole talk about 'bad things' makes me think of that song that goes, "I wanna do bad things to you."

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  15. Confusion is where?
    Confusion is there.
    I see, I see it in you.
    It's laced in your words,
    like loose corn in turds,
    polluting them through and through.
    You sound mightily certain,
    and so absolute!
    My word, you're really a hoot!
    But I must disagree,
    as these studies, you see,
    render your conclusions quite moot.
    Few sociopaths are helped,
    this is certainly true,
    but some certainly are,
    not certainly screwed.
    Some even seek help of their own accord,
    to lessen the risk in their quest for reward.
    I hope you enjoyed my fun little skit,
    but if you didn't, you can eat my shit.

    *bows*

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  16. I am..like you but...I am more aggressive..I..want to ask you more questions...i hope there is some way we can..talk online

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  17. Don't forget, friends, there are a number of other anti-social personality disorders. A person can have Obessive/Compulsive, Histrionic, Narcissitic, Paranoid or other ASPDs.
    That being said, from a diagnosed sociopath (and yes, that means I was a bed wetter, have tortured small animals, do like setting things on fire, lie when it serves my purposes and have an inability to connect with my closest family and friends on a deeper level), being introspective is not uncommon amongst sociopaths. We're not unfeeling monsters, we have a limited ability to grasp why society holds moral standards which seem...optional or are easily rationalized away by our needs. We also have a limited, at best, ability to have compassion for how our actions affect others. One of my best friends is constantly trying to get me to "look at it from the other person's viewpoint" when I've hurt someone.
    Not all sociopaths are smart, but a lot are. I never questioned being a sociopath, but was diagnosed as one at 18. This diagnosis has been confirmed by 2 other shrinks, one of which told me while he saw ground for the diagnosis, he refused to label me with it, because he'd no longer treat me if he did.
    Being a sociopath is a lonely, misunderstood road. While I do my best to ignore the urges to do very anti-social things on a daily basis, I still want to and sometimes do. But often I feel as though I am simply going through the motions of being socially acceptable. I have a sales job in which my manipulative skills, my ability to make people open up within minutes and tell me EVERYTHING, and my ability to incite trust where none is due make me very successful. But it's like a tease to my sociopathy.
    Sociopaths go through life being berated for who they are. Understand, please, that our distrust of people and dislike of society comes from years of rejection and being told we are bad. We find it easier to hide what we are instead of be rejected one more time. We lie often times, not to hurt you, but to protect ourselves from your reaction. When we're found out, we don't understand why you'd want to know the truth. It shatters the illusion you lived in about us. Because all our lives, we've been told, "You're such a disappointment." Bear that in mind the next time you judge us as bad people. Being a sociopath does not relieve of being human.

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  18. I was raised by a sociopath mother, and my biological father was one as well. She'd lie and find your weakness, and break it open just for fun. I pretty much fit that bill, there is a void inside of me, and I don't really feel. I've always been the smartest person I know, and the smartest person everyone I'v known has known. I have also always had a rage and drive to win and dominate for it's own sake, incredible greed and narcissism and thrill seeking. I've lied and manipulated, and I can tell the others who are like me, I think most of us can tell one another.

    I'm trying to be a good person, like you it isn't some emotional drive, but a logical one. Not lying or conning people is hard, expecially when it works. I was always able to get people to do things. I don't want to be that person and I fight it every day. When I see someone with something I want, I try and say, that they deserve it.

    The world needs people like us, we don't buckle, we can choose the easy route, like a coward, and give in to what we want. Or we can be strong, and moral, loyal friends. I do it by keeping a strict moral code, a set of rules, 120 of them. My temptation it to lie and say I've kept them all. I've yet to get to that point. I like to think being a good person isn't what we are made of, but what we do with it.

    The first step is not pretending we are something else, maybe not saying we are sociopaths by that label, if you do good by people, they accept you are good. It also helps when people know, because they can say, that isn't right or what ever. That is another problem about us, when we fool people, unlike normal people, we will never be told our faults, because we will never show them.

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    1. But the question you're avoiding here is: Why?

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    2. I suppose for the sake of "fulfillment"? Or to aspire to an emotional and moral state similar to that of a "neuro-typical" person, perhaps?
      I can understand questioning the reason for going through all that trouble to appear "normal".
      To be honest, for me as well it seems to be a pointless endeavor to met the requirements of neuro-typical individuals.

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    3. What are the 120 codes that you live by?

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    4. What are the 120 codes that you live by?

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    5. I would absolutely love to see closet_sociopath on a blog about religion. *laughs*

      Delete
  19. It's incredible to see what people have written on this site. For the longest time I have felt like I was set apart from people- smarter in a sense. It's like I instantly can see right through people and go through the motions of "caring" just so I can have a place in this world.

    Wildchildgirly said "my ability to make people open up within minutes and tell me EVERYTHING, and my ability to incite trust where none is due make me very successful. But it's like a tease to my sociopathy." that stood out to me for some reason. as did what you said of how you are able to state facts of what you do and don't do etc., but you have no idea why.

    I'm not really sure what i'm even trying to say. I'm honestly speechless at the fact that I found this site and found so many people that have been thinking the same way I do. I have been trying to make sense of myself for so long and just thought i was going insane. I guess I am?

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  20. I am pretty sucessfull.I use others to get to where i am or want to be.If i hadn`t,i wouldn`t BE where i am now,with a good economy,nice car and nice house.I`m perfectly aware that someone has to pay so that I can prosper.Does that make me a sociopath?No,it makes me a capitalist.It makes me a product of society.I`m a "have",not a "have not".Do i feel sorry for those i have "used"?Some times.But it`s a dog eat dog world.I can`t afford to loose sleep over it.And the only reason i`m here is coz my fiancee called me a sociopath,so i searced for an aswer to exactly WHAT constitutes a sociopath,and i stumbled over this site.But now i`m 100% sure i`m not.It seems like sociopaths like to ask others if they are sociopaths from what i`ve seen here.Would i like people feeling pity for me?Hell no.Well,thanks for letting me see what the fuss is all about.If it makes you feel better,i pity you all.Greetings from Scandinavia.

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    1. lol. This site is really not a good example for sociopathy. You should rather visit psychforums.com --> AsPD

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  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  22. Hahaha. In response to a comment I read here, YES, I see a lot of wanna be sociopaths as well! I see a lot of Borderlines too, like the original poster. "Am I a sociopath?", "I just don't know, and I'm soo scared that I am"' "I just don't want to hurt anyone". Just grow a pair already, flex nuts and live your life! What a miserable existence! Always questioning and doubting yourself because of how other ppl may percieve you! You think those same ppl who you're worried about hurting give a shit about you?? The sad reality is that nobody cares! Sorry, but it's true. Live your life by YOUR standards and quit crying already!! JEEEEEZZZZZUH

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    1. True enough bu the thing is I'm bored so i'll "care" temporarily of course until I find another something that amuses me even more.

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    2. I'm sorry you believe that to be true. @anonymous

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    3. Anon #1: You have a similar way of portraying thought as Lestat from "Interview with the Vampire" minus the "Hahaha & jeeze" crap etc.

      Have you ever read it? I know you would get extreme enjoyment out of the series. There is Louis (what is essentially an empathetic/pathetic vampire and Lestat who's ...fuckin great =])

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  23. Saying that to be introspective means your not a sociopath is like saying thinking you're crazy means you can't be. Alot of so-called "crazy" people, that is people with mental disorders are well aware of it.

    Here's how introspection works for the sociopath. Understandig yourself means that you can understand the motivations,and weaknesses of others, which in turn makes it easier to mimic them or manipulate them.

    An introspective sociopath is a successful one. The father that was described in one of the posts sounds like a psycopath. That is a person who is like a sociopath but more prone to cruelty and criminal behaviour. Alot of successful people are socio and psychopaths. Being ruthless advances many careers.

    You don't want to be a sociopath? Sorry can't help with that. But you can turn that "weakness" into a strength and "decide" to use it for good, sucess ect... It's all about choices. you may not "feel" them, but you can act like you do. No one will know, so what really is the difference?

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  24. Comment posters, some of you are clueless. You make blanket generalizations, and say 'no, you can't be a sociopath--if you were, you wouldn't understand yourself so well.'

    That is a load of crap. There is a continuum of mentally unwellness. This person is just at the higher end of things--able to see himself, but still unwilling to change.

    People seem to think that in no case can a psychopath be aware.

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  25. These wannabes are as terrible as those ridiculous "goths" who dress in black and pretend to be edgy. I'm glad i'm not like the masses and idiots who live ther life doubting every decision, thinking about things like right or wrong. Screw that, live your life like you feel like living it, no one is a saint.

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  26. everything you just mentioned indicated that you are a empath..not a sociopath...sorry to disapoint you because we all know that everyone wants to be one. if you really want to know if your one then go to a doctor or physiatrist to find out for sure dummy. or did the blogger write this...because i noticed that the "blogger" did not comment on the question. hmmm

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  27. I never really considered it... I used to kill wasps when I was young. When I was 18 I caught a hedgehog in my garden, stabbed it right through and poured boiling water over it, hahaha lol. So I stabbed it again...then I impaled it with a shard of wood and threw it into my neighbour's garden. It was squealing for like an hour. When I saw its little face it almost looked human.

    I used to get angry and kick my dogs. I really like them though.

    When I was 19 I was put into a mental hospital for telling a girl I was going to kill her. She pissed me off. I was never diagnosed though.

    Past 5 years I've been studying law at one of the top universities in the world. It was only meant to take 3. But I just disappeared for two of them and did drugs and fucked prostitutes.

    I've bled my parents dry. I get probably 1k dollars per week from my parents. They are idiots. I've spent it all on drugs and alcohol. I only just got internet cause I'm bored.

    I've been caught drink driving a few times...idk. I had a job for a few months but I just left randomly during the day without telling anyone. Lost that, my dad got me that job so he looks like a retard now lol.

    I don't have any real friendships. I cut everyone out when an important social circle dies. I've never been able to maintain a friendship.

    But I would never consider myself a sociopath because I can get very angry about girls. When I know they like me I assume they are 'mine' and if they do otherwise I rage, sometimes for months. I can be quite obsessive. I think I'm just fucked up...what do you think?

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    1. You are definitely fucked up. You should commit suicide.

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    2. Yeah sure you're fucked up alright but why should I give a shit if you're fucked up or not?

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    3. Animal abuse guy is clearly fuck and should kill himself.

      Lol'd at the replies.

      Guy is what a *real* sociopath is, makes the rest of us look empathetic. But seriously, someone stab and pour boiling water on that guy.

      I feel more empathy for animals than for humans.

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    4. I would love for you to cross my path. I could care less what you've done or who you are, from what I've read your just a wanna be punkass faker psychofuck. Id suggest knot tying 101 but you'd most likely fail at that. Id personally would enjoy watching you drink a bottle of draino. The art is blending in not sticking out.

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  28. Anonymous,
    Yes, you are a sociopath. Being a sociopath does not mean that you don't feel any emotions, it means that you don't feel any emotions that are not your own. For example, when you look at a person who has a painful cut, most people would cringe almost as though they feel the other person's pain, this makes it very hard for normals to hurt other people especially weaker ones, because by doing so they share the pain. The fact that you could injure an animal and listen to it squeal for hours shows that you do not share pain. You are capable of feeling your own emotions, especially rage and jealousy towards women, and the fact that you can't understand or feel why they would dare to leave you actually fuels your anger and obsession.

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    1. Well I don't know about that. It sounds like he could be closer to being a psychopath rather then a sociopath.

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  29. For the piece of crap that tortured an animal: how would you like it if I stabbed you and poured boiling water on you, then laughed like an idiot and listened to you dying for an hour? Don't think it can't happen to you. It's called karma, paybacks, what goes around comes around, maybe even Hell. It takes a serious lack of intelligence not to see that bad things do, in fact, happen to bad people.
    As for all the feeling people you call "sheep", figuring that empathy means you will allow yourself to be exploited: Got news for you: there are lots of people out there who aren't wolves OR sheep. We have big hearts, but we're not suckers. It's called being a real human being.

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    1. Nah you're a sheep because you'l get exploited even if you allow it or not.

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  30. Sounds like a permanent state of depersonalization rather than sociopathy. In fact, all that you wrote was pretty far from sociopathy. A sociopath doesn't give a damn if someone gets hurt. Nor would he question himself and dwell wondering "Am I a sociopath?". Now, as for lack of empathy, or lack of ability to relate to someone else's pain... well, as long as you try to do the right thing in any given situation, with or without emotion, you're as good a person as anyone. I think you'd make an excellent doctor or a surgeon, seeing that nothing would make your stomach churn. Some people are killing machines, but not that many are healing machines. Or maybe there are more than a few. (I have a theory that a lot of doctors are "sociopaths", or emotionally detached from everything, but that's another story)

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    1. The thing about the question: Am I a sociopath? is not that its made because you question yourself but rather because you're bored and curious about yourself and why you are superior to normal people and if there are other superiors out there.

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  31. The instant people learn about mental illnesses, they start thinking that they may have it. The usual answer is no.

    Sociopaths are not JUST emotionless and have fun tearing people apart. They're adaptable, smart, skilled and highly apt at socializing (though they hate it).

    People use 'sociopath' as a synonym for 'evil' or 'cruel.' It's very different. Sociopaths are extremely rare, it is HIGHLY unlikely any of the people commenting have encountered them.

    If you feel a "void" or are "empty," stop thinking about it. No, it's not depression or mental illness, it's you being a human being, get over it. Find yourself a hobby or a good partner and you'll start enjoying life more.

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  32. I find it more entertaining than television to read about all these people who are kept up late at night asking themselves, "Could I be a sociopath?!?!" Histrionic Personality Disorder. The need to draw attention to oneself through whatever means necessary, even illnesses one doesn't have. And yes, it is a valid disorder, and yes you SHOULD seek treatment from a licensed professional. I haven't EVER lost sleep regarding, "OMG... Am I a sociopath? I do bad things!!" Plotting how to manipulate you? I've pleasantly lost hours of sleep doing that. Figuring out how to cut corners and get out of the latest scrape I've found myself in? Sure.
    Anonymous who posted about there not being treatment options for sociopaths, pull your head out of the ASS of psychology. There are therapists who specialize in rehabilitating people with ASPD. And further, there are sociopaths who desire treatment (yes they are rare, they do exist however). Now getting them to PAY their therapist... That's a whole other story.
    Being a sociopath isn't as simple, as it's been brought out by actual sociopaths on here, as saying "I feel empty and without much emotion." It involves how one thinks, relates to other people, views the world around them, how one goes about finding success in life.
    I am in therapy, because I got sick of wanting to eat my roommate's ice cream because he put it on my shelf and it serves the fucker right for invading my space and being that stupid, as one very small example. Mostly though, I got to the point where the pseudo-legal business ventures I was exploiting to make money just weren't enough. When I didn't feel like a client kept their end of an agreement, I felt they needed to be punished for it. I realized it would be an easy transition (a very logical, rational and linear one in my mind) to make them pay on a deeper level. Whether that be through breaking their kneecaps or hitting their pocketbook in a less than desirable way. I don't desire to spend my life in prison. And I am more than a little sick of trying to convince the empaths around me I experience life like they do. And unless I at least try to find another way, that's where I'll be, because I really dig fucking people over for a profit. It's my passion.
    I wonder about people on here who talk of being raised by "sociopaths." Sociopaths don't typically raise their children, because children aren't useful. Children are a burden. They take, take, take. Sociopaths don't give unless there is a payoff. And being seen as a good parent isn't usually enough of a payoff. Sociopaths give up at one point or another and walk away. The children of ACTUAL sociopaths I know, including my own child, have the opportunity to spend time with their parents when it's convenient for us. And other than that, we're too busy to be bothered. What we want IS the most important thing, and raising a needy child takes away from that. So just because your parent is self-centered, controlling, hostile, abusive or manipulative, it doesn't mean you can call them a sociopath. My father beat the hell outta me and my mom allowed it. But my parents aren't sociopaths. Just screwed up people.
    My son got in way of me living the life I wanted to live, so he lives with my parents. He's part of the reason I'm in therapy, too. For once in my life I realized someone didn't deserve what I did to them.
    So for all of you who worry your pretty little heads about being sociopaths and actually want to be one, research Histrionic personality disorder. You most like have that. Or maybe schizophrenia. I recall belief of a terrible illness being a hallmark of that disorder as well. You don't want to be a sociopath. We don't do a lot of introspection because it brings pain and shame, emotions we like least of all. It's easier just not to feel them.

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    1. Why should feel I ashamed of anything? I know exactly what drives me and thats Greed&Boredom

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  33. "We don't do a lot of introspection because it brings pain and shame, emotions we like least of all. It's easier just not to feel them."

    Doesn't that pretty much invalidate everything you just said? Honestly, you just summed up everything the OP was going through. Pain and shame during introspection. The only difference between you and him is his willingness to endure it. By no stretch of the imagination does that categorize him as having HPD and you having ASPD. If anything, it would disqualify you from being a sociopath/psychopath as, to the best of my knowledge, they don't even understand the concept of shame. That's the narcissist's game, and it's why they shy away from introspection and live in a fairy tale land where everyone deserves what they do to them. Sounds like you, doesn't it? And leave it to a narcissist to start talking out of their ass before they've thought anything through. You nonchalantly equate a sufferer's fear of symptoms they don't understand with attention seeking behavior or a delusional state of mind. If you wouldn't mind, please tell me how that adds up. Logic should be cold, hard, and indisputable, like steel. Yours seems a bit mushy and full of holes, like swiss cheese. All that's needed to unravel your entire line of thought is one basic assumption: that his symptoms were real and significant. Pretty weak.

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  34. Wildchildgirly,the fact you are in therapy because you are aware your son doesn't deserve how you've treated him says you are not a sociopath. It expresses guilt or remorse. If you were truly a sociopath you would not be effected or even think of what you are doing to your son. Sociopaths don't focus at all on the past. They just move ahead to the future without looking back at what they've done. You have contradicted yourself.

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  35. Anonymous, I must say I people who don't think sociopaths capable of being rehabilitated make me laugh. Thank you for your feedback, though. I proves to me the therapy I'm going through is effective. I never got shit for being too "introspective" in my posts until recently. I've found a huge difference in how I interact with people now and I'm not even finished with the therapeutic process yet. And frankly, I don't really care if you think it's possible for a sociopath to be rehabilitated and no longer be a sociopath, because I know what I've experienced.
    But, I don't see much point in wasting much more of my time on someone who posts anonymously. Besides, I haven't seen your credentials. I have seen the credentials of the 4 psychologists/therapists who have confirmed my diagnosis. And my therapist has never suggested for a moment that it's an incorrect diagnosis. The only time he's said I'm full of shit is when I've tried to run a scam on him.

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    1. You are kind of getting boring Wildchild.......... Ooo hey there's a new guy here and he thinks sociopathy is a super power? Well now that is something im going to take a closer look at.

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  36. Excuse me, I fit nearly every description of a sociopath apparently. And after reading this, I can picture it only making the condition worse. This site gives power to me, saying things like, "You can never spot a sociopath.." If a few of these people got together they would be unstoppable to an average group of people. What happens when two of these people meet and create a bond? (friendship, relationship, etc.)

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  37. Also, I'd like to add that I do have an incredibly high IQ, 158. I abuse drugs, but I would never harm an animal or rape anyone. I don't find the thought of it disturbing, however. This seems almost like a super-power, I now wonder, Can this be used in a way that is beneficial to everyone involved? This is really only my first day focusing on this topic, and I'll admit now that I don't know all there is to know about it.

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  38. I'm here because I have slight doubt I am a sociopath but all signs point to it and I can't go see a therapist everytime I'm with one I start lying to the fuck out of a story and that makes unclear diagnosis.

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  39. PostmodernSociopathJuly 16, 2010 at 3:16 PM

    What signs? Elaborate. Preliminarily, if you have a doubt over such a triviality, you lack the pride that seems to come with sociopathy, and your doubt also suggests some major concern for the future which is, again, indicative of something other than sociopathy.

    Just because you lie to doctors doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It means you want there to be something wrong with you so you can delude yourself into believing that whatever weakness or what-have-you you're experiencing is either out of your hands (it's not) or gives you a cool backstory (it doesn't).

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  40. God dammit, the doubt is figurative, I just want someone to agree with me so I can rub it in the face of those who disagree with me. Ad why do I get mood swings when I read, hear, write, think or say sociopath

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  41. PostmodernSociopathJuly 17, 2010 at 10:18 AM

    On sentence one: No one here is going to just agree with you out of hand because you made some vague declaration in a comment. We're generally serious people when it comes to this subject, so forgive me if I find your claims dubious.

    On the second sentence:

    Because you're a lonely teenager. I *am* a sociopath, and I don't get "mood swings" when I read the word. Mood swings don't mean anything except that you're deluding yourself. Call yourself a sociopath all you want, but don't come crying to me the next time you're wracked with guilt over some pointless thing you did.

    On a different tack, being a sociopath isn't something to rub in people's faces. There's a tremendous stigma against us, and saying you are one gives you two options:

    1. Get put away because you're an untreatable cancer on society.

    2. Get laughed at and called a little emo bitch because you insist that normal hormonal nonsense must mean that you're broken.

    At least pick something acceptable like narcissism if you insist on rubbing a self-diagnosed condition in people's faces.

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    1. Hey there's nothing wrong having a healthy bit of narcissism. Mood swings are a puberty thing though and telling other people you're a sociopath is stupid.

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  42. I'm not an emo, not even close to it. And I'm french so I don't really know what I should use to say something about having a proof of something to show someone not believing you. I never would say that to anyone who actually can know me. Mostly people on the Internet to see how they react... The mood swings are pretty much gone, maybe I was just tired yesterday. Never had guilt over anything I ever did so why should it start now. I'm not lonely. I just couldn't care the less for everyone else. Plus ask me every question you want and I'll answer and then we'll see.

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  43. Also, another question. is it better to pass a little anger on people or just one big burst every once in a while. Cuz' me I kinda build up on hate even on people I like and sometimes the littlest thing they do and I get violent. Not related to socipathy but I still wonder.

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  44. PostmodernSociopathJuly 17, 2010 at 3:12 PM

    Asking you questions doesn't help anyone diagnose anything. It's not about your ability to fabricate answers, but about your conduct. If your behavior actually meets all the criteria laid out in the DSM-IV or the ICD-10, then perhaps you are a sociopath. But it's all or nothing.

    Fine, how about this. I'll link you to a series of images, and you describe to me what your first reaction to each one is.

    Image 1

    Image 2

    Image 3

    Image 4

    Image 5

    Image 6

    Image 7a

    Image 7b

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  45. I'll give you my toughts instead cuz' it caused no reactions
    1. Man,she's ugly
    2. What's that supposed to be
    3. I lol'd
    4. Where did that happen
    5. I lol'd again
    6. What are they supposed to be doing
    7a. Same as first
    7b. Same as fifth

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  46. Also don't come back to my first comments cuz' if you haven't red I somehow managed to get mood swings and I hate morons that does that

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  47. And third, don't think I wanted sociopathy.. I would have prefered by far psychopathy

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  48. PostmodernSociopathJuly 18, 2010 at 3:45 PM

    First, sociopathy and psychopathy are the same thing.

    Second, if you "would prefer" either one or you "don't want sociopathy", you think there's something wrong with you, so you're not a sociopath.

    Third, your reactions to the images are practically proof positive that you're nothing but a pathetic charlatan.

    Fourth, mood swings as you seem to be suggesting them are inconsistent with sociopathy.

    Finally, you came here asking someone to agree with you, and instead I've spent the last few days telling you all the reasons you're not a sociopath.

    If you want someone to validate your fantasy, go be a dick on lovefraud.com. They'll call anybody a sociopath. Don't expect to make any friends here with your idiocy, or at all.

    Now I've wasted enough energy on you. I thought it would be fun to tear you down, but it's proven to be little more than raging into the dark. I should've known.

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  49. First. Well, I have been misinformed... Ihave been told sociopath had no empathy and that kinda stuff and psychopaths had no feelings at all.

    Second. It must be crappy for you not to understand jokes...

    Third. I would like further explanations on that. What were your reactions ?

    Fourth. Told you not to come back on that.

    Finally. Same as fourth plus you didn't tell me anything, you vaguely answered like you would do to anyone you believed to be a scam and refused to go further after I told you that I had no particular reactions, just toughts.

    If you would stop believing anyone here is desperate for someone to tell them they are/are not a socipath, you would be ableto make clearer judgements.

    Now I've read everything that you wrote and for some reason believe that you are not having any knowledge over what you are talking about.

    P.S. Might have sounded like an angry, disappointed troll but it was not... It was just a plain review of what you said...

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  50. Can anyone else help me ?

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  51. That guy who is writing this postAugust 4, 2010 at 9:50 PM

    Hey, I'm new and I was wondering are there other symptoms then the one listed in PCL-R. Because I have been reading some threads here and I can refer to some except the fact that everybody here seems to be downers divided in insecure question askers and the psychology-fanatic answerers.

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  52. When I first read this, it seemed like quite a few people share whatever this is. This isn't Anti-Social Personality Disorder. I used to think this was just part of the spectrum of ASPD, but I seriously doubt that now.

    My sister is a school psychologist, and I've helped out at the school my sister works at. There I have met bona fide sociopaths. I have absolutely nothing in common with them. I like hurting others (not physically, but psychologically; physical pain seems cheap as it has never even bothered me, but psychological pain doesn't). I generally don't because I know it's wrong, but it's so easy, and I set it up so well sometimes, that I just have to take the plunge (but I always feel cheated that I can't share, what I have just done with other people). I easily make close friends, but even the closest friendship seems remarkably cheap to me. I've always felt as if I was in complete control of my emotions. If I need to I can feel real sadness or real anger or any one of those, but just as easily, if I don't want to feel them, I don't.

    Real ASPD (at least in my experience) aren't like that at all. If anything, they have a much harder time controlling their emotions, or at the very least, the actions based off those emotions. It's also almost impossible to treat, because they don't want to get "better". I catch myself wondering if I wouldn't like to be more normal sometimes, though most of the time, I enjoy the way I am.

    The reason, whatever this is, doesn't have a name is because it doesn't interfere with our or other people's lives (for the most part). I can't imagine being upfront with a therapist about how I feel. I don't even know why I would do that. ASPD is often times destructive to society (and far more often than that, constructive to society, but that's besides the point), and that is the only reason anyone has ever diagnosed it. Whatever I have, which I'd bet is the same thing you do, is not as obviously destructive to society meaning, it'd be impossible for anyone ever to diagnose this.

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  53. I'm a sociopath. first time i've ever written that but i guess its true. its kinda funny, this thread. a bunch of sociopaths in one calls for a funny thread.
    like, i see you ALL. thats all i keep thinking. i can recognize a sociopath from a mile away and i hate every last one of you. even if only because you act just like me. like yeah we know, we're disgraces to the human race. it just isn't really a big deal. nothing is most of the time.
    I can make you give EVERYTHING to me and take till you have nothing left then move on to my next play toy.
    you'd never even be able to tell if this post were genuine or not because right now, this is whats socially acceptable. trust no one in this thread.
    is this how you actually feel or are you looking for sympathy? i know a part of my sub conscience is looking, honestly.

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  54. This makes me curious because I relate to this. Allot of people seem to have a vary black and white view of what a sociopath is. This doesn't seem logical to me because its a mental state. When it comes to anything in nature there are no certainties. That being said who is to say what is and what isn't. I know its obvious and somewhat pointless to say but it brings up questions--just how sociopathic dose someone have to be before they are considered a sociopath or if it even matters. I too am quite capable of restraining myself. I go out of my way not to hurt people. To me it is connected to the way I was raised. It developed a sort-of built in code that I have struggled with since I decided religion was pointless. Being vary sheltered and isolated these ideas held rather tight and since I have fought to get past some of them. I see the benefit in other-ones but I would like to turn them on and off as I pleased. This has happened but only briefly and in moments of necessity. I feel allot like this person; Anytime I do have an emotion it is extremal shallow and I am well aware of my own selfish motives. For a long time I believed that all people felt like this and to some degree I still do. I am uncertain any of this, because in my mind all humans are just selfish creatures who may do stupid things out a need to satisfy some idea about what makes a good person and then call it love. There is nothing wrong with this. It nature. Animals display something like love but when food is gone the weak become food. Obviously there is a disconnect in a sociopath that prevents them from socially attaching to others in the traditional way but, again, how disconnected dose one have to be to earn the "title"? Doesn't matter, right. So what is it then. On a scale of one to sociopath I would suspect that there isn't a sole that doesn't rate somehow.I know I'm towards the top but there is no way I can know just how far until I'v been tested. Not by a doctor. I've brought it up to doctors and they seem to get scared and want to avoid the subject writing it off as depression or something stupid like that. I'm not depressed: irritated, angry, hateful-- sure, but not depressed. When I say tested, I mean by the vary thing that strikes at the sole of an empath, death. Until that happens who can know. I guess it has. I've had relatives die but non close. Then again how would they get close. I really feel nothing towards them. I go away for months and years and don't think about calling and talking unless my current situation sucks, then I just want to talk about me. This to me seem rather un-sociopathic. So looking at both sides and viewing the world in no certain terms leaves me wondering where I stand and what I am. If the word sociopath doesn't apply to me then what dose?

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  55. Why don't you just go see a doctor and gain some outside perspective????
    Otherwise your just hurting yourself and to be honest acting like an idiot. If anything it sounds like you have aspergers.

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  56. Angelberg made a really good point; small subtypes of our population become detached from society due to varying reasons; abusive homes, disorders(adhd,personality disorders, etc) or eccentric personalities. Those people regardless of their moral compass will spend their entire life looking for an explanation and feeling bad because they are unable to find anyone to connect. I see this all the time with individuals with aspergers.
    Alot of you may have something called "oral character" you should google it; due to separation from mother at birth they tend to stuck in the early stage of adult maturity and see life through a lens no-one else can understand or relate to.. It is very interesting and the fact you're all her posting and potentially exposing yourself to the entire world shows you probably don't have antisocial disorder.

    So google oral character

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  57. You're pathetic keep crying like a little child; if you are a sociopath then your a disgrace to them and the rest of society.

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  58. you know... some ppl just like to be miserable, some ppl like to just be happy, some ppl just like to think

    i think you just like to think to much about your problems when all you need to do is let it be

    try the following:
    1 go to a social event(party) with friends
    2 make sure you drink a beer or two
    3 make sure and i repeat MAKE SURE you dont talk about psychology, or philosophy (unless the person you are talking to brings it up)
    4 dont care what ppl think about you and dont let your ideas about ppl influence you either
    5 since you already know everyone is either: living a lie, knows the truth, or is just plain ignorant... then relax and just try to get a hug from someone... feel their energy and be happy you got to do it because it feels good

    your lost because you want to be lost, your examining life to closely, you should look at the big picture and realize you are connected to ppl like you, and those ppl are connected to someone else and your connected to someone else whos not like you... the farther back you look at it the more you see your not alone and we are all one

    idk in what way this can help your confusion but it should help in one way or another...
    some temporary sanity i guess you could say

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  59. The most interesting thing to me about this entire discussion is that any form of realistic diagnostic of sociopathy requires honesty on the part of the sociopath. Sociopaths are really bad at that, especially when you factor in the anonymity of the internet.

    Just to clarify, I'm not a sociopath. Sometimes I wonder if I am, because at times I do feel like emotion is missing when it should be present. Someone earlier mentioned that most mental disorders are of varying degrees, and this is very true. In honesty, the only real thing any of you should 'worry' about is whether or not you're a danger to society or to others. Those are the sociopaths which have the most to gain from finding help, though they tend to look inward for guidance, rather than seek therapy. Not all sociopaths (which is the exact same thing as a psychopath, just with less of a media instituted stigma) harm people. Bad people harm people. Bad sociopaths are very good at harming people because they have no holdups like 'emotion.'

    Those of you who say Wildchildgirly is not a sociopath solely because she sought therapy are wrong. You're missing the point of her posts.

    Postmodernsociopath, thank you for some of your diagnostic posts. Though they obviously didn't reach the targeted anonymous poster, they are actually quite helpful in understanding what being a sociopath 'feels' like.

    I'd like to bring up a very shitty movie: "The Invention of Lying." If you've ever seen it, I'm sorry, but it can give insight into what it means to be a sociopath. Imagine if people could not lie, but you could. They have no understanding of the concept, and the thought of it will never make sense. To nearly every person on this earth, not being able to lie and not lying are two very different things, and most can understand how it feels to not lie. Being able to lie in a world filled only with honest people is like being a sociopath. If you cannot feel emotions that others do, whether or not you can understand what an emotion is, then you are a sociopath. How you act on that determines whether you're a bad person or not.

    This is almost an unfair statement to a sociopath though, because the scale of what it means to be 'bad' is skewed to your average Joe. A sociopath has less holding them back from lying, cheating, and stealing for the sake of personal benefit. Most people would refrain because it would 'feel' wrong. What if it didn't 'feel' wrong though? What if wrong didn't exist? You'd lie, cheat, and steal, but only if it benefited you.

    This is where the varying of the disorder, as well as the combination of it and other disorders make sociopathy an issue in society.

    If you think in terms of evolution though, most great rulers from ancient times were sociopaths by our standards today. The way that they could lie, cheat, and kill for power is appalling to us if thought of in modern contexts, but in ancient times, there was personal benefit in it. Today, there is less personal benefit in these things, because if a sociopath gets caught doing them, they'll likely get punished for it.

    Sorry for the long post, but I hope it helped explain some things. In short, it can be thought of in terms of varying scales of emotion. We all have a little sociopathy in us, in my personal opinion. The question is: Where has our line been drawn?

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  60. The most interesting thing to me about this entire discussion is that any form of realistic diagnostic of sociopathy requires honesty on the part of the sociopath. Sociopaths are really bad at that, especially when you factor in the anonymity of the internet.

    Just to clarify, I'm not a sociopath. Sometimes I wonder if I am, because at times I do feel like emotion is missing when it should be present. Someone earlier mentioned that most mental disorders are of varying degrees, and this is very true. In honesty, the only real thing any of you should 'worry' about is whether or not you're a danger to society or to others. Those are the sociopaths which have the most to gain from finding help, though they tend to look inward for guidance, rather than seek therapy. Not all sociopaths (which is the exact same thing as a psychopath, just with less of a media instituted stigma) harm people. Bad people harm people. Bad sociopaths are very good at harming people because they have no holdups like 'emotion.'

    Those of you who say Wildchildgirly is not a sociopath solely because she sought therapy are wrong. You're missing the point of her posts.

    Postmodernsociopath, thank you for some of your diagnostic posts. Though they obviously didn't reach the targeted anonymous poster, they are actually quite helpful in understanding what being a sociopath 'feels' like.

    I'd like to bring up a very shitty movie: "The Invention of Lying." If you've ever seen it, I'm sorry, but it can give insight into what it means to be a sociopath. Imagine if people could not lie, but you could. They have no understanding of the concept, and the thought of it will never make sense. To nearly every person on this earth, not being able to lie and not lying are two very different things, and most can understand how it feels to not lie. Being able to lie in a world filled only with honest people is like being a sociopath. If you cannot feel emotions that others do, whether or not you can understand what an emotion is, then you are a sociopath. How you act on that determines whether you're a bad person or not.

    This is almost an unfair statement to a sociopath though, because the scale of what it means to be 'bad' is skewed to your average Joe. A sociopath has less holding them back from lying, cheating, and stealing for the sake of personal benefit. Most people would refrain because it would 'feel' wrong. What if it didn't 'feel' wrong though? What if wrong didn't exist? You'd lie, cheat, and steal, but only if it benefited you.

    This is where the varying of the disorder, as well as the combination of it and other disorders make sociopathy an issue in society.

    If you think in terms of evolution though, most great rulers from ancient times were sociopaths by our standards today. The way that they could lie, cheat, and kill for power is appalling to us if thought of in modern contexts, but in ancient times, there was personal benefit in it. Today, there is less personal benefit in these things, because if a sociopath gets caught doing them, they'll likely get punished for it.

    Sorry for the long post, but I hope it helped explain some things. In short, it can be thought of in terms of varying scales of emotion. We all have a little sociopathy in us, in my personal opinion. The question is: Where has our line been drawn?

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  61. The most interesting thing to me about this entire discussion is that any form of realistic diagnostic of sociopathy requires honesty on the part of the sociopath. Sociopaths are really bad at that, especially when you factor in the anonymity of the internet.

    Just to clarify, I'm not a sociopath. Sometimes I wonder if I am, because at times I do feel like emotion is missing when it should be present. Someone earlier mentioned that most mental disorders are of varying degrees, and this is very true. In honesty, the only real thing any of you should 'worry' about is whether or not you're a danger to society or to others. Those are the sociopaths which have the most to gain from finding help, though they tend to look inward for guidance, rather than seek therapy. Not all sociopaths (which is the exact same thing as a psychopath, just with less of a media instituted stigma) harm people. Bad people harm people. Bad sociopaths are very good at harming people because they have no holdups like 'emotion.'

    Those of you who say Wildchildgirly is not a sociopath solely because she sought therapy are wrong. You're missing the point of her posts.

    Postmodernsociopath, thank you for some of your diagnostic posts. Though they obviously didn't reach the targeted anonymous poster, they are actually quite helpful in understanding what being a sociopath 'feels' like.

    I'd like to bring up a very shitty movie: "The Invention of Lying." If you've ever seen it, I'm sorry, but it can give insight into what it means to be a sociopath. Imagine if people could not lie, but you could. They have no understanding of the concept, and the thought of it will never make sense. To nearly every person on this earth, not being able to lie and not lying are two very different things, and most can understand how it feels to not lie. Being able to lie in a world filled only with honest people is like being a sociopath. If you cannot feel emotions that others do, whether or not you can understand what an emotion is, then you are a sociopath. How you act on that determines whether you're a bad person or not.

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  62. (Continued...)

    This is almost an unfair statement to a sociopath though, because the scale of what it means to be 'bad' is skewed to your average Joe. A sociopath has less holding them back from lying, cheating, and stealing for the sake of personal benefit. Most people would refrain because it would 'feel' wrong. What if it didn't 'feel' wrong though? What if wrong didn't exist? You'd lie, cheat, and steal, but only if it benefited you.

    This is where the varying of the disorder, as well as the combination of it and other disorders make sociopathy an issue in society.

    If you think in terms of evolution though, most great rulers from ancient times were sociopaths by our standards today. The way that they could lie, cheat, and kill for power is appalling to us if thought of in modern contexts, but in ancient times, there was personal benefit in it. Today, there is less personal benefit in these things, because if a sociopath gets caught doing them, they'll likely get punished for it.

    Sorry for the long post, but I hope it helped explain some things. In short, it can be thought of in terms of varying scales of emotion. We all have a little sociopathy in us, in my personal opinion. The question is: Where has our line been drawn?

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  63. Hello Socialpaths. I am not one but marrie one and we are currently in a very nasty divorce. She lies constantly. Tell me how I beat her or tell me how I can establish dominance.

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  64. Beat her at her own game, not physically beat her.

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  65. @Anon above: Beat her physically, obvi.~

    @Sierra: Glad to be of service. I even have my own blog now, so my bitter, nihilistic opinions are available in stereo. :D

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  66. Ive been successfully able to counter all accusations and allegations in court. What is her next step if she is feeling like she in losing in court?

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  67. Probably making shit up. Jesus, are you just blind to human methods?

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  68. I started looking into psychopathy and sociopaths in general because a close acquaintance or two suggested separately that I may be one, and should seek help. I dismissed it immediately, assuring them that I am simply a pragmatist and a counter-culturalist, nothing more. When I started Googling (how disdainful, to use Google as a verb) 'sociopath' and reading the symptoms and behavioral characteristics of sociopaths, I began to see small patterns in my own life that would fit the profile. I've never thought of hurting animals or humans as productive or rewarding activities, but the facets of my life seem to fit the bill in other regards. It's okay if I AM a sociopath. I've learned (from this site) that sociopath does not automatically translate into axe murderer, which is good. My only question is this: If I AM a sociopath, or if I'm not a sociopath but I believe I can make a licensed professional believe otherwise through words and deeds, could I claim disability checks after receiving the diagnosis? That would be sweet. Any thoughts, comments, or psychoanalysis is welcome.

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  69. Unfortunately, no. I don't think you can get on disability for ASPD or related conditions. The best you'll get is committed. Feel free to shoot me or M.E. an email if you have any other questions, though. You could also try commenting on newer threads.

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  70. " one thing they always say about serial killers is how smart they were, how high their IQ was. So I think we can conclude that we should abolish the word “sociopath” and embrace “supremely intelligent” instead. :)"

    Some are actually borderline retarded, so no, not all serialkiller have high IQ's.

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  71. LOL, I have to say it was fun reading all this! Sociopath or not I can care less, but what a cry for attention?!... and the amount of people who get involved and fall for the bull shit!! HA HA HA Unbelievable!!I mean good job! It's funny! :))

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  72. I think its funny that a sociopath wannabe or for real would ask another sociopath if they think they are a sociopath.
    Hello dumb asses... if you don't see the world exactly as they do, they wont be able to understand your point of view and as far as they are concerned you don't qualify. That is what a lake of empathy is.

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  73. I had a good laugh actually playing out the OP's fantasies.

    They must think they really are a sociopath. Dumb-asses these days.

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  74. I agree with almost all of the responses posted on this site. I have been able to relate to and understand exactly where all of you are coming from. From a young age I was diagnosed as obsessive compulsive. I was always the kid who sat silently in the back of the room, observing other children. I would go home at night and practice facial expressions and mimmick personalities of other children in my school. I was always the kid that everyone called weird. I have always been the disconnected odd ball. As I grew older, the dark side of me flourished and I often enjoyed giving in to it. I was cruel to animals. I would get angry often. My anger was like a light switch, it could be instantly flipped on at any given point. Eventually, I grew out of that stage. In my early teenage years, I had adapted, and could fit in any social crowd. I began manipulating. At one point I had a few separate relationships going on with some girls that knew each other quite well, and none of them had even mentioned our relationships with each other. Was I that good? or were they just that oblivious? I never really had any feelings for anyone, keep in mind. I could have cared less. Around my early 20's, I had a strange turning point in my life. After developing social networks, I had a few close friends at that point. One of my friends had a father how was diagnosed with cancer. I thought it would be a socially appropriate thing, if I had gone with my friend to visit his father. I knew this man quite well, keep in mind. When we had arrived, I could see the father in pain, how he was suffering yet he was struggling to hang on. I had began to cry. I eventually had been asked to leave the room by my friend because I couldnt stop crying. I think I was asked to leave so they wouldnt become sad. It was the most amazing thing. I had never felt that before in my life. The last time I can recall crying was when I was 11 when i broke my leg in 3 places. A year or so later, the only time I felt sympathy, was when I saw animals being mistreated. It has been like this for several years now. It was until tonight, that the thought sparked in my mind, am I a sociopath? What sparked the idea was after watching the tv series Dexter. It has been so odd that I can relate to the character. I had then come to this site and I can relate completely. I want to say thank you to all of you for your contributions and testimonies. Its also a good thing to know I am not the only person who has lived like this.

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  75. I've speculated for awhile whether or not I may be one. For as long as I can remember, I've never truly felt remorse. I killed my pets as a child(fish/hamsters), though in idle play, it was a bit vicious(I love animals more than people these days). I could never act sad at the appropriate time, so i learned to make myself cry. Also never felt attached to significant others. Possessive yes, without question. Yet while I knew I should care about them in a real way, I couldn't. I've become masterful and displaying 'appropriate' emotions, even though often I don't feel in touch with them myself. Many of my emotional responses are calculated, far from natural. I've rarely sought out to intentionally 'mess' with someone. Although I would be lying if I didn't admit to frequently manipulating/playing head games. Well my bf is getting home, wish I could tell the poor bastard. There simply is no easy way to tell someone your incapable of loving them.

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  76. Haha, Brandon W and idiots. You are ridiculous. These comments are hilarious as you are all wrong completely about what a sociopath is. You can't claim disability checks...that was dumb of you to write. The fact you looked up this website indicates you are not a sociopath but more of an individual who idols the thought. There are few differences between a sociopath and someone who emotionally feels what most people feel. The main difference is empathy, for instance, I could steal money from my grandma and have a good laugh about it. You would think about stealing money from your grandma and talk about it online. Do you see now that you are not a sociopath but a wannabe. As for the last comment, I didn't want to waste all my time reading all the comments so i skipped to the bottom, I want you to know its a good thing to know you are not the only person who has lived like an idiot...and to anyone else who relates to how i feel about dumb bored people, just remember, it aint easy being cheesy.

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  77. Okay, people. Here is a link to site that actually lists real, tangible symptoms of sociopathic behavior.
    http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

    "Callousness/Lack of Empathy
    Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them."

    This just proves half of the people on this blog wrong. If you can feel ANYTHING AT ALL BESIDES FEEDING OFF PAIN THEN YOU ARE NOT A SOCIOPATH.

    "Shallow Emotions
    When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises."

    "Incapacity for Love"

    So you're all pretty much wrong. Also, a quick google search shows that psychopaths are not the same as sociopaths. "Research suggests that, “psychopaths are a stable proportion of any population, can be from any segment of society, may constitute a distinct taxonomical class forged by frequency-dependent natural selection, and that the muting of the social emotions is the proximate mechanism that enables psychopaths to pursue their self-centered goals without felling the pangs of guilt. Sociopaths are more the products of adverse environmental experiences that affect autonomic nervous system and neurological development that may lead to physiological responses similar to those of psychopaths. Antisocial personality disorder is a legal/clinical label that may be applied to both psychopaths and sociopaths” (Walsh & Wu, 2008)." (more here: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/forensic-focus/2010/07/sociopathy-vs-psychopathy/)

    And all you little sociopath wannabes on here...another important symptom is *cruelty to animals*. I dare you to kill an animal in a slow and painful manner just for the fun of it. Let's see you try.

    Bonus points if you can watch 2 guys 1 hammer without so much as a grimace. THAT would signify pure lack of empathy. I bet none of you would be able to. Stop being self absorbed idiots. The world is not black and white - your shade of gray is unique, but not unique enough for you to start thinking you're special in every way possible.

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    Replies
    1. Post the link, I love gore!

      Delete
  78. Other Related Qualities:

    Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
    Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
    Authoritarian
    Secretive
    Paranoid
    Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
    Conventional appearance
    Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
    Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
    Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
    Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
    Incapable of real human attachment to another
    Unable to feel remorse or guilt
    Extreme narcissism and grandiose
    May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

    Wait what is that in number ten? But you said sociopaths are incapable of feeling.

    "Psychopaths have only a shallow range of emotions and lack guilt, says Hare. They often see themselves as victims, and lack remorse or the ability to empathize with others. "Psychopaths play on the fact that most of us are trusting and forgiving people," adds Seto. The warning signs are always there; it's just difficult to see them because once we trust someone, the friendship becomes a blinder." For more you can see here. It always amazes me that people that otherwise understand the disorder always get that part wrong. The do express shallow range of emotions. They themselves do and only there emotions matter to them.

    http://chericola57.tripod.com/infinite.html

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  79. To the people quoting the websites like http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html with the checklists that ALWAYS portray ALL sociopaths to be heartless monsters at ALL times, let me say this:

    1. In almost all cases these lists *should* be prefixed with the line "X or more of the following, applicable", where X is a number usually between 1/3 and 2/3 of the total symptoms.

    It is entirely possible for two people, both professionally diagnosed as sociopaths to have a different set of applicable symptoms, but that doesn't change the fact that they're both sociopathic overall.

    Just because I fit only 8 of the bulletpoints doesn't change the fact that I'm still a sociopath, it just means that the other ones don't happen to be a part of MY sociopathic condition.

    2. Each bulletpoint is usually worded to give the impression that someone who matches that symptom does so at all times, this is just plain untrue, and likely driven by the writers bias to something which they cannot truly understand, having not experienced the symptoms from the perspective of an actual sociopath, instead having to make approximations and assumptions based on the "evidence" at hand.

    For pretty much every listed symptom, partial cases will always apply, wherein the sociopath in question will practically be capable of switching a given symptom on or off depending on how well that symptom will benefit them in a given situation.

    Just because I don't lie ALL THE TIME TO EVERYONE I MEET, doesn't mean that I won't lie without a moments hesitation if it suits my needs, and while I am capable of creating vastly detailed fabrications, which I can later re-tell with undeniable consistency, it doesn't mean that I'm not fully capable of differentiating from my internal fabricated reality (a mentally simulated world in which the lies i tell are true, simply for the purpose of expanding future lies so as to not create conflicts with existing ones) and the real world in which I know my lies to be falsehoods, and if confronted, easy to abandon.

    Same goes for things like callousness with regard to cruelty to other people/animals, in my case, I will show no mercy to any human I feel has wronged me, and I could quite happily devote a portion of my time to ruining someones life as payback, but I wouldn't even remotely consider the possibility of hurting either of my cats, because quite frankly while I do not consider them to be more important than myself, I certainly consider them to be more important that the vast majority of humanity.

    Specifically, I have the following ordered list of importance:
    1. myself, obviously!
    2. my partner (a spot currently vacant, but reserved non-the-less, for a potential girl/boyfriend)
    3. my close friends (a small group of people, some of whom know of my condition, but know that I mean THEM no harm)
    4. my pets - 2 cats as mentioned above
    5. people I work with (whom i treat with marginally more respect, solely for the purpose of maintaining a decent outer persona to ensure the longevity of my employment)
    6. EVERY OTHER FUCKER ON EARTH, regardless of creed, color, race, gender, social standing etc.

    Finally, which regards to the number 2 position of partner, it should be noted once and for all that not ALL sociopaths are incapable of love, far from it, I know that I have been in love before, granted when the relationship ended, I was able to overcome the sadness a "normal" would have felt with relative ease, but I hardly feel that should detract from the burning passion I know that I felt while it lasted. Whether or not that feeling could be attributed or likened to the desire to succeed in the "game" that is being in a relationship is a moot point, which makes absolutely no difference to what I consider to be my way of experiencing love, just because I experience it in a different way, doesn't make it all less important or real.

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  80. Caught in the middleJune 4, 2011 at 8:07 PM

    I came upon this site, while looking for some answers. Or, more accurately, some explanations. I have no idea what is "wrong" with me, and I'm really not interested in finding out on a clinical basis. Not looking to wave a flag for any team, either. No, I guess I'm just looking for some clarity.

    From what I have read, there seems to be many different variations and classifications and alternate diagnoses for sociopaths. Where do I rank? No clue. If I did rank, I would hardly care, but it would give me something to think about.

    I would never have even considered this particular avenue was a possibility until, quite recently, I had a gleaming moment....a blip on the radar, if you will....that made me think, "Take a look at what's in front of you, take a look at where you've been.....there's a lesson here. Time to learn it."

    Throughout the course of my life, I knew I was different. Didn't know how, didn't know why, but I knew. I didn't put myself on some self serving pedestal, thinking I was better than anyone else. It was quite the opposite. I stayed away, as often as possible. Still do. "Loner" might wind up on my grave stone, and I might be fine with it.

    I never understood the need for the "pack mentality" that most people have. Still don't. I drive around the city, watching people, trying to find a glimpse of understanding, but I just don't get it.

    I've never hurt anyone physically, and I don't think I will ever intend to. Again, quite the opposite. If an altercation ever came up, I've lived by the One Swing Rule: You drop me with one swing, good for you; If you try for two, I can't help what might happen to you.

    However, on an emotional level, it's been a comedy of errors. I'd try to fit in, even though I knew I didn't, and I could pull it off for a while. But, then, it would always hit a breaking point, and I would go my separate way.

    Now, this was the turning point....a woman(hold your surprise, please) got close. Past the walls I've spent most of my life trying to build. Get close.....but not TOO close. She got TOO close.

    For the first time in my life, I actually cared about another human being. Siblings, family members, co-workers, people on the street, they were just there somewhere in the background. But, this woman was someone I cared about, actually and truly cared about. That was a new feeling for me, and the vulnerability nearly destroyed me. I committed social suicide, and carpet bombed every personal relationship within reach. Subconsciously, a pre-emptive strike to avoid a repeat feeling? Who knows.

    I am not some kid with a bad case of Puppy Love. I am 32, the woman was five years ago, and I didn't realize everything until about six months ago. Sue me, I'm a slow learner. I'm guessing the switch flipped when my parents divorced when I was four.

    BTW, Canucks just took a 2-0 lead in the Stanley Cup finals.

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  81. Haahhaahaaa your not apart of the supior breed of life on the plant...if yu you can't accepts this deal.. I offer you $100,000,000 at the cost of 100,000,000 inocent ppls lifes haha if you even have to think your not... hahahaaa if I was offered that i d take the deal even if I had to kill the pittiful ppl myself burn the flesh of there bones hahahaaa.

    your playing a game the second yu meet me watchout I never loose its not a even playing field. I fully understand wht I do.. I can predict how ima mind fuck you the second I meet you I smell your thoughts sense your emotions leave you currupt or as cold as me might say how can I sense an emotion. Screw a doctors book they only tell you how a tipical sociopath operrates then there are the elite few who are able to master there gift.. I'm untouchable.

    Humas have such great minds its power is checked by emotion... checks an balences of human nature take that away imagin the power

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  82. Hello everyone! I am a sociopath. I really dont like people, boy howdy. Lets all go kill someone. It's fun, and easy too! I get away with it all the time. But, sometimes people get suspicious like when I crack up during the Texas Chainsaw Masacre, but I just tell them I am a Republican and they say somthing like "Oh, that explains it." Oh, BTW, about that MDMA challenge: I would like to try it because, well, who knows, maybe I'd like it. So um, please send me some. You can email it to RUSHFORPREZ@hotmail.com! Thanks a bunch. Although I don't realy mean it...

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  83. this is very interesting,, changes what i thought about sociopaths// but i still dont find you all particularly respectable , actually the opposite.. sorry for being an empath (although i dont really mean it)

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  84. Oh HAI guys!!! Joining the bandwagon here!!!! I'm a sociopath!!! Oooo look at me, I'm so cool! I kill people I kill little pets. I'm fucking awesome ooo or maybe I just have HPD or retarded narcissism I dunno!! Omg I'm so worried! What could it possibly MEAN?! I just want attention because sociopaths are SO COOL, but wait, really I'm just an attention seeking whore who feeds off people's encouragements. Oh, and let's just deny that and make it seem that I'm so innocently waiting to be diagnosed ON THE INTERNET where people don't know SHIT about my pussy heart and it's so much easier to cower away behind the screen!!!

    Andy Wandys xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  85. I believe that an important point needs to be made here before anything else goes on so a few more people think before speaking. First, It has been proven that part of ASPD is Biological in nature, meaning a defect in the brain interfering with development. That being said, environment plays a role as well as far as severity and symptom display are concerned and it is in this area that a point needs to be made. With ANY disorder this severe that would threaten the continued survival of the individual in question from childhood will cause a coping mechanism to be created in one form or another. In the case of a physical deformity you'll see over-development of other physical attributes to help compensate for the problem. In the case of disorders involving the mind, Mental coping mechanisms are created by the mind to help the person in question survive as best they can in the environment they're in at the time of the creation of the mechanism. This has been the case time and time again from everything between ADHD to Schizophrenia. These mechanisms vary widely and it must logically follow that those with ASPD from birth have developed a mechanism of some kind to increase their biological chances of survival in the society there in because humans are social animals. Whether this be an increased ability to read body language to make manipulation easier and more successful, or a forced development in the ability to logically process information (including introspection) at the expense of the artistic side of the brain it guarantees that EVERY SINGLE CASE will be different on not one but several levels. as such it means that not every person suffering from ASPD is going to leave broken lives and bodies in there wake as they pass through there lives and that some of them at least are going to be able to function based on whatever ability to cope they have without destroying everyone around them. Nothing is black and white in this world and any person of intelligence knows this. the world is shades of gray. Food for Thought

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  86. personally i think this is funny, yeah i went looking for things justifying if i am or if i am not, but after looking through these pathetic people trying to help you distinguish who you really are...then you are already know they are lying to you because they want you to believe what they want you to believe, personally i was going to go that route but after reading these blogs saying you are and are not. its pretty much pathetic. once i found out i pretty much looked up every blog i could in order to distinguish myself of not being one...but that is me personally and dont listen to anything i have to say because i am a lyer and i will decieve you. personally i dont even know if this is an act or not i am portraying to lure you into thinking what i want you to think. personally i dont care...but anyways have fun trying to figure that one out!!!

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  87. Even experts disagree on diagnostic criteria mainly because this stuff is all theory. Yes, theory. The commonly accepted theory also states that many other afflictions can produce these same symptoms to varying degrees. Lack of empathy can be a trait of all the personality disorders, etc. There's a lot of psuedo-science floating around the internet. This stuff has not been "proven" to be biological, or environmental, however correllations have been made to both. If you have mental distress that holds you back, or causes damage or chaos, these labels can help to understand whats going on, and how to deal with it. The one certainty is theres is no way to know with absolute precision whether you are a sociopath or not.

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  88. this sounds like borderline personality disorder !

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  89. I'm a sociopath. You are not. You are confused and normal.

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  90. Take it from one who is, you're not. Not even close.

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  91. Hey misanthrope, As a true empath; I actually get physically blasted by other peoples emotions. I was raised by a sadistic, narcissistic sociopath I have LEARNED. NOT ME ASSHOLE. NEVER, EVER AGAIN WILL ANYONE FUCK ME OVER I SEE & FEEL YOU COMING FROM A MILE AWAY. HAVE A SHIT LIFE.

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  92. Your clearlyy not a sociopath but there is something going on and i cant be sure exactly what but i can tell you this no ones normal normal is a fictional term (when used in reference to people when used scientifically it is not fictional) used to desribe people who think they lead a perfect life everyones different no ones normal no ones perfect so dont worry about it.

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  93. I am sort of confused as to whether or not I am a sociopath or not. I say this because I have the majority of the qualities of one. I associate the idea of being one as being bad or my mind keeps telling me reasons why I cannot be one. Here are some reasons why I think I might be one:

    1.) I care, but I don't. I genuinely care for others, but at the same time, I could stop if I wanted to. The connection to the person I care about is still there, but it would not affect me psychologically.

    2.) If someone I cared about died, it would make me very sad, but if it were anyone else, I don't care and I can't figure out why others do care at all. Almost as if I think they should not care because I do not.

    3.) I have an extreme intolerance to negativity or principles of others that are rooted in fundamental belief systems. When I see this happening, I wish I could take that person(s) and make them disappear. I don't wish them harm. I just don't feel that people who act that way should exist. I think they should never have structured beliefs. They should be ever-changing.

    4.) I hate all religions. Not the people that believe in them, just the beliefs. I believe there is a "God", but I believe that none of us know what he/she/it is. Pretending to do so sounds ridiculous to me. Especially since there is no real reason or proof to suggest that any religion is true.

    5.) My only source of entertainment is learning about computers. I don't watch TV. I don't listen to music. I don't pay any interest in anything else, except for my neighbor to whom I care very much for. I feel like I have to know more about this technology than anyone else--at whatever cost. Like it is the only thing that drives me through life.

    6.) When I see a small animal or insect that manages to linger around me, the thought that I could take its life crosses my mind. I know that I have the option, but I know it may make me feel bad. Still, acknowledging this, I know I would eventually get over it and I would remain unaffected. I know I would never kill an animal, but I know in my mind that I could. (Note: I love animals. Probably more than humans.)

    These are some of the things I feel (secretly). I would never let anyone close to me know that I feel these things, but I do. Does that make me a sociopath?

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    1. First, I'm very angry at this site for not allowing people to fully explore the other dramatic personality disorders. You need to do this. Sounds like HPD to me.

      The feeling of empathy (it is NOT an emotion) is genetically instilled into us. As we grow up, we develop the feeling of sympathy. The difference is that empathy is the understanding of another, while sympathy is concern for another. The difference between HPD and AsPD can largely be defined by the fact that although both an AsPD and an HPD can feel empathy, but not sympathy, the HPD will manipulate for nurturance, while the AsPD will manipulate for profit.

      Questions to consider: as a child, did you have any suicidal thoughts? If so, how did you feel about possible pain and why might you have committed suicide? Are your caregivers currently loving? Were they loving at birth? Why were you born? How about your school life, were you out-grouped or held at the lower end of the "grapevine"? Why you screw up, what do you disregard it, tell yourself this is the way you are, or act to fix it (a good test is to grab a pen and try doing some pen spinning trick)? What emotions in your life have been the most recurring? On your sleep habits, would you say you're a bit narcoleptic, normal, or insomniactic? When you're with others, would you say you feel more or less than they can feel? When you are around others, do you want to shy away or be the center of attention? Do you like performing or watching?

      Answer these, then do a huge amount of Cluster B Personality research. You'll find your answers pre-research will help in weeding out the bias. At least one in five people can't feel sympathy, but only one in a hundred people can't feel empathy (these are the psychopaths).

      Hope this helps,

      Ben A. Morgan
      HPD
      examiningdeception.com (still in construction)

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  94. Hi, this is my first post.

    Ok, here are features of my behavior. If I don't elaborate, it's because I don't need to.

    1) I have no feelings of guilt.

    2) I have never had a relationship with anyone for longer than 5 months. And that relationship was with someone 2x my age who I screwed the night after I got raped.

    3) About the rape, it was really weird. This random guy started talking to me on the street, and I followed him around for the day. I had no feelings for him, he was just placating boredom. He takes me into a hotel room (which I paid for willingly) and I guess he attempted to rape me. But I just was emotionless and didn't scream, and I actually felt I could relate to him a bit. Later I learned that he has a history of raping women and assaulting them with sharp objects. Yet I was unharmed.

    5) I have extreme repression. My dad was a sociopath (undiagnosed but really, he professed he wanted to rule the world, rage, etc.) and he instilled absolute fear in me. I was afraid to do anything or else I would face his wrath. Also I was teased terribly in school, I was THE loser. I was extremely paranoid (and still am) that people are against me. This led to depression which was medicated.

    6) I hate when people are happy. WHen I see people smiling, I think it is either because they are naive and dumb, or against me.

    7) I can't laugh at jokes, unless other people are laughing next to me. Except for teasing. That is hilarious.

    8) I have a fascination with small things like hamsters, with little hands. They have tiny fingernails that grip bed sheets like they're clinging to life. Also, small hairs on a bald head. I really want to look close and examine it. Spiders have little legs that are cute.

    9) I watch fucked up videos online, like people ripping their toenails out, disfigured children, and I laugh/feel sorry but curious

    10) I enjoy and fantasize about dental pain. I enjoy looking at pictures of fucked up teeth and I stab my own gums with toothpicks and smell them. (That probably has nothing to do with being a sociopath.)

    11) I "used" to think I have powers, but that was "suppressed" with anti-psychotic medications. I am currently diagnosed schizoaffective. I comply because I don't want a fucked up life.

    12) I have ALWAYS thought that there was something wrong with me, that I am evil. It is just a fact.

    13) I played sick to get out of school. A lot.

    14) I always lament about how I have no friends. I mean I have friends that care about me, but I feel very alone. Like no one knows me. And then there are the very few instances where I truly connect with someone, these people are usually very fucked up.

    15) I am constantly bored. I, a classically trained musician, have no interest in watching people play music. Unless it's a piece I know/have played. Then I will listen to it 100+ times in 1 day. Serious. I don't go to concerts unless I am playing. I stay to watch only to be nice and not look like an asshole.

    16) Expanding on 15), I am musical, but I am not moved by music. I only like the technical facets of playing music (moving fingers, etc.) Music was (probably still is) merely a way for me to be better than other people. I want to "beat people" at music.

    17) Expanding on 16) Professors constantly told me I was an emotionless musician. And I saw no need to "tell a fucking story" through music. You move your fucking fingers, end of story. Very often when the professor was feeling the music as I was playing, I played the music like they wanted to hear it and they praised me. But I could not replicate that expression by myself.

    Yeah that's enough. I'm going to express to my psych about my recent "angry thoughts" and just present straight up "I think I'm a sociopath." See what he says... but at the same time I should just be myself and see what happens.

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  95. Asked my psych if I'm sociopath. He said no.

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  96. Wow, half the comments here seem posted by retarded drama queens. To these ones, considering the anonymity don't feel obligated to drown us in your ego trip.

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  97. Hi "A Visitor,"

    Oh, I guess I should drown myself in a puddle of my own blood for questioning my mental state. Oh wait, since you're a sociopath, you'd do that for me. Thanks for slicing through the purpose of this forum, which I perceived as "to understand sociopathy." That includes within oneself.

    Anyway. I will continue with the drama.

    I am like two people. I laugh at dead animals, I watch gory surgery videos. I am selfish. yet at the same time I want love and attention and am appalled by selfish people. WTF is this. I am in a sociopath-empath relationship with myself. Maybe that is why I don't need a person telling me I'm drama. 3rd wheel is drama, bitch.

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  98. When I read through your post, I literally laughed out loud. You aren't a sociopath. I used to think I was one (I'm not), just because I see no problem saying or doing whatever I think will get me exactly what I want. You, on the other hand, are too afraid of your natural impulses to be a sociopath; I'm not even one, and I love mine. It's really useful, you know, to be an empath that can turn it all off at a moment's notice. Almost like flipping a switch. I go through most of my days taking everything in quite normally, I even feel genuine love for, and connection to others, but if I want to, I can get rid of all that idiotic nonsense. All you are is logical, full stop. Logical and emotionally detached; doesn't make you a sociopath. Your whole life is an act, because it's necessary to present a mask to the outer world; again, many people do that, doesn't make you a sociopath.

    Feeling smarter than everyone else around you doesn't make you a sociopath if everyone around you is an idiot. If you've never met someone smarter than you in person, why would you assume that anyone else would be? I've rarely ever met anyone as intelligent as I am; I'm usually disappointed when someone shows promise, but occasionally I'm rewarded with a person who actually has a brain. However, while I know I'm smart, I'll admit that I usually doubt just how smart I am; still, I do know that I can always get smarter, so it's worth it to test your limits. Being smart doesn't make you a sociopath; most sociopaths are idiots, actually.

    Of course you don't go out of your way to hurt people; a sociopath doesn't either, but not because he cares about the other people. It's because there's nothing to be gained from harming others. You, on the other hand, are doing it because you don't want to hurt anybody; definitely not a sociopath.

    All of my responses are calculated; I actually have an extremely high ability to empathize with others, but I can control it to suit my purposes. Sociopaths can't control it, they literally can't feel that empathy. You're better off being a clever empath than you are being a sociopath; just get rid of that weak, limiting moral system and take what you want out of life. I would construct my own moral system, instead of relying on a flawed, outdated method that does nothing to benefit me. Sociopaths don't care about morality at all; you do, more than you realize. If you are automatically differentiating between right and wrong, and your sense of right and wrong does not only extend to yourself, you are not a sociopath.

    Everyone uses people, even those who claim they don't; bunch of self-righteous hypocrites, lol. Society is built on people using each other for mutual benefit; there's also that love and genuine connection, too, but everyone is manipulative to some degree. Especially teenagers. Hell, I was more manipulative in elementary school (grade school, for you Americans out there) than I am right now; not because I've lost the knack for it, but because I've got enough charm that I don't need to consciously manipulate people to do what I want them to. It is fun, though. If you're feeling bad about manipulating others, and not like it's the most fun thing in the world to watch idiots dance around like puppets, you're not a sociopath.

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  99. TheEternal (continued)October 1, 2011 at 3:53 AM

    You're just a confused teenager; why you think sociopaths would be interested in helping you is beyond me. Most of the idiots commenting aren't sociopaths; I've seen maybe 3 or 4 genuine sociopaths responding to you, and you are not one. Drama is good, actually; the only reason they don't like your emo bullshit is because a) it is completely blown out of proportion, and b) sociopaths don't like anyone who has unwarranted self-importance, because they like to think they're the center of the universe. Nothing wrong with that, of course, except for the fact that they're limited by their lack of empathy. Haha, sucks to be you losers; I actually can form a genuine connection with anyone whom I choose. I'm just able to do what needs to be done for my own benefit, and empathy is just another tool to be controlled. I get the best of both worlds, and you get nothing.

    Of course you lie about your feelings; everyone lies about their feelings. It's not the fact that you're introspecting on being a sociopath, it's the fact that you think there's something wrong with being one that makes it clear that you aren't one. Morally wrong, I mean, not just non-beneficial.

    Sorry kid, you're completely normal. Emo, whiny, self-obsessed, but normal. I'm more of a sociopath than you are, and I'm not even a sociopath. Why on earth would you want to be one? Just do what you want in real life; cherish that which you actually care about, and forget about the rest, it's that simple.

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  100. This is hilarious. You should pitch a book of these comment threads to the publisher who prints the lolcat compilations.

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  101. @TheEternal

    Sweet Jesus, your comment was epic.

    Off-topic: why would sociopath(s) need a blog? It was my understanding "they" don't care/have the ability of introspection.

    Such a bunch of little whiny drama queens.

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  102. @PostmodernSociopath
    re: "Because you're a lonely teenager. I *am* a sociopath," (July 17, 2010 10:18 AM)
    Aren't you barely out of your teens? When, exactly, did a mental healthcare professional diagnose your disorder? Oh wait, you're "all alone in your web of lies".(http://postmodernsociopath.wordpress.com/2010/08/21/isolated-incident/)

    You're not memorable; you're a pseudo-intellectual emo bitch. Your arugments seems to be as stable as 3w587fuN^NO&*IULYBvilu£%b6viaby5i+++NO CARRIER+++

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  103. @TheEternal very well put.

    @JonSmith the fact that you asked "why would sociopath(s) need a blog?" proves that you have no level of understanding about sociopaths at all. I can think of a million reasons why I would've made this site if it didn't already exist. Most of them involving getting better at being a sociopath, and the bragging rights of going "that's me!" Because, well, we very much enjoy seeing that there are so many people like us, and so many more than want to be us.

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  104. Sweetheart, you're just an intelligent borderline. It's manageable, and you can feel love if you focus on what is loveable. First and foremost is loving yourself. The twenties get better. There are always going to be relapses, but realizing that you are only human can help ease your mind.

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  105. Previous comments have asked for sympathy for the sociopath. That's fine if they don't use their psychological deformity for evil. I dated a girl, just the cutest, sweetest little thing you ever saw, who was a sociopath and I would describe her as pure evil. She is significantly younger than me and I always thought she was so pretty, but never expected to date her. Well once she sensed my interest it was game on. An ongoing game of cat and mouse ensued, myself being the mouse. She would juxtapose progressing the relationship eg., 'we should be exclusive', 'I love you', 'Would you want to marry me', with blatant flirting and manipulative behavior and good Lord the lies that flowed easily from those lips. I literally felt like a toy mouse and she was the cat batting me around. Of course at the time I didn't realize all the lies I would later find out about. She finally ended it with a lie about her being raped by someone she had history of doing cocaine and having sex with.

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  106. I like how ppl are telling others, on a page about sociopaths/psychopaths to just live their lives how they want. When you live that way, you end up in jail, and in jail, no one lives how they want....lol

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  107. My brother is a sociopath and let me tell you, I have known of his ways all of his life. He's a pathological liar, YOU WILL NEVER GET THE TRUTH OUT OF HIM. He makes up stories (lies) for no reason other than to make himself look good. He has no feelings for anyone but himself. He's disrespectful of other's property, he cheats on his girlfriend all of the time, he's violent and has hurt me and tries to get me to fight him constantly (I'm his older sister, 28 y/o, w/ 3 kids.) I can't tell you how much he has hurt my family and I. Too many times to count. He doesn't hang around much anymore, though... I guess he got sick of us not believing his lies and calling him on them whenever we hear them.

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  108. Jesus Christ, did I actually write that? I'm starting to wonder if maybe I am a sociopath.

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  109. If sociopaths are truly bothered by the fact that they feel no empathy, why don't they just kill themselves?

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. any person who is bothered by the lack of empathy is not a sociopath

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  110. I'm the same way, and to one of the comments at the top, I'm similar in the fact that i was around only a mother (and well 2 brothers who are significantly older then me so weren't around much) who manipulated everyone, though she didn't try to do that to me much that I remember because she was in a odd relationship when I became old enough for her to do such things and had already realized what she was doing to other people at a young age. I don't think I was born this way, I think I learned over the years, I learned right from wrong at a very young age, well mostly I learned that harming people and animals was bad, i also learned how to lie at a young age, from my mom. over the years I've watched and learned and know how normal people act and i base my actions off what I've observed. But at the end of the day when I think about things I don't see the big deal. Why do people care so much about boyfriends and how they dress and everything else. I just can't wrap my mind around it and generally feel that way. I hate the numbness in my head. But I know how I must act to come off as societies normal. If I act cut off and completely non-caring it'll cause more trouble in the long run. So I act 'normal' when I'm around anyone and everyone. I tell the Occasional lies if necessary, though I don't see why it's bad, if they believe it it's their own fault. The people around me think I'm a horrible liar because I've led them to believe that. When really I know I can (and have before) lied to them and they didn't even suspect it. Some of this I know sounds contradictory but that's the life I live. Every day. When I'm alone I'm kind of blank, I try to keep busy by watching stupid tv shows or walking or anything to keep my mind distracted. I hate the blank feeling. I'm not sure if what you were describing fits what I've said at all but I do agree with basically everything you said.

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  111. I don't know if you'll read this, or if someone else has already said it. I know how it feels, wiki Asperger's syndrome and Autism Spectrum Disorders.

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  112. None of you are sociopaths. Sorry to disappoint you.

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    1. None of us are disappointed you come off as a fool, though I am hoping you are not. Your all-encompassing assumption completely exposes your effort of your feeble mind to express itself in one blanket summary, with no facts or opinions, no research or data, just a poorly thought-out remark. Sociopaths can get people like you to be and do whatever the hell they want. How do I know that? Your statement stems from insecurity and fear. Which is like a playground for many of us. Silly person.

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  113. I come from a family of sociopaths - beleive it or not. My father was a bold face liar, completely unaccountable, animal abuser, wife abuser and child abuser to myself and my brother. He manipulated family and friends and even his coworkers. He makes me sick. My brother is exactly like him, abusive and lies for the sake of his good. Both of them are in the medical profession and both have abused patients without any consequence. I am also a sociopath. I have also abused animals, people, told lies and showed no emtoion and have never tried to. Years ago I sought help, and I cannot even tell you what the game changer was but when I look back on what I did to people, it makes me sick. But, I still struggle every day to be perceived as normal. My initial responses and reactions are not like "normal" people. But now, at least I am aware and accountable which is the main thing for me.

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  114. Lusna

    There is many deinitions of Sociopaths and many different levels to it just like any thing else, me myself can hardly feel emotions for i find it easer to detatch my self from them. I will not tell you why for the reasons are not pretty. I have skipped 5 grades thow i am given medication for that I some times find myself questioning the very basics of the world and wishing for some people to die in very painful ways. I am not one of the worst cases of it but I some times am detatched and insane thow some say insanity means you well can't think well you can it only means you have know since of reality. what you are saying sounds like a lower case of Sociopaths but do not be alarmed not all of us find humer in violence for that is an sterio type. you willl find yourself thinking you are siperior to others for in a way you are for all of are brains are wired in a different way are way.

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  115. Hi, I totally know what your going through. Like you I also worry about if I'm a sociopath or not because if I was would that fit me into the spot of a killer? Just between you and me (and all the other viewers out there) I think sociopaths get a bad rap and people need to stop harping on it and just get smart and keep an eye out for any signs of manipulation. I don't necisserily use people like you do but I know I have them in the palm of my hand which I consider is just about the same thing. Anyways, I feel your pain and if you are a sociopath then you are a sociopath, try and see it as a gift you know? You could get into acting (which is essentially a societally acceptable form of lying) I think you would totally be a star. I don't know if you feel this way but frankly I'm scared of telling my parents of my suspicions because i asked them just the other day and WHOOOEE did I get an earful on how awful they (possibly we) are! They said the same thing they say about sociopaths as they did about Jews in the Holocaust or blacks before the civil rights movement though, and look where we are today so maybe eventually we can come out of the closet without being ashamed. Have you ever measured yourself against your peers to see if your a sociopath? I have a hard time making sense of myself too but this is not a sickness and I stress this is a GIFT!!! See ya and whatever you are, be proud.

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  116. Very few people have ever seen through me. I was first diagnosed by my first girlfriend's doctor who made me go to her doctor after drunkenly tearing up her apartment and breaking her windows in a rage. I wanted to get out of being drafted for the Vietnam War and at the draft board, in the toilet, I read the letter he had written. I laughed and was happy that he'd done such a good job at telling them how nuts I was.

    I learned to control my rages in order to not lose girlfriends, money and time going "for therapy." I also learned how to use Psychiatrists to get away with shit particularly during the years I worked as a civil servant abusing alcohol and drugs and needed to take a lot of unpaid leave in addition to all my regular leave time. One Psychiatrist I use to dictate letters for my job to joked how I should make up a series of printed ones we could just choose from for him to sign-- he called me a "master manipulator."

    Does anyone do anything other than for selfish reasons? I'll argue forever that they don't. But as to feelings? Others raised my daughter as I was never interested in doing that and I was never asked for or volunteered any child support. When people ask me what I do I proudly say "as little as possible." Recently I let my guard down a little when I said to my daughter that I'm "deficient in family stuff" and she said she knew and that's why she kept reminding me that she loves me. She and my four grandkids love me and I've never really done much of anything for them- as little as possible. My wife of 23 years, she had her own grown kids she had raised when we got together, use to wonder how "you always come up smelling like roses when you never do anything for anybody?" She too loved me and we had a good marriage as she never let me get away with manipulating her. She died suddenly from stomach cancer in 2004 and I took care of her right up to her last breath. Losing her was the worst thing that ever happened to me and it felt for months like a knife was in my heart. It sometimes still does.

    My wife was one of the few who ever saw through me and no one will ever know me like she did, and I don't want anyone else to ever know me that well. I do as little as possible and I'm amazed at how much others do for me. It is in the real quiet contemplative moments that I realize that I never really do anything for anybody and that I only feel from my own needs. I no longer laugh at my diagnoses of "Psychopathic Character Disorder" as I realize that that is the reason I always feel alone feeling nothing, or as little as possible. Most of the time I'm happily distracted by my many interests and people think I'm a wonderful person but beyond my rationalizing that "we're all ultimately alone" I know that I'm missing a lot. I feel nothing most of the time and misanthropically look down on human beings because they function on an emotional level rather than an intellectual level. The world of Spock does have it's advantages. I can view the world's horrors dispassionately. I live a nice quiet comfortable life filled with intellectual pursuits and great art does arouse me. But everything is me including you. I don't even feel sorry for you if you do suffer from your sociopathy or whatever. Get over it, everything has its plusses and minuses. It's not the cards you're dealt, it's how you play them that counts.

    Oneformeandallforme

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  117. I read on Wikipedia that:
    'Research has shown that bedwetting does not indicate a greater possibility of being a sociopath, as long as caregivers do not cause trauma by shaming or punishing a bedwetting child.'

    What do they mean by that? That if you are humiliated about it you might become a sociopath?

    My father was a sociopath and my mother used to write down anything 'weird' I ever did in a bid to get the family courts to rule that all contact I had with him must be supervised.

    She told the court welfare officer and psychiatrist that I had been wetting the bed (I think I was about 6 or 7)

    I had to see the psychiatrist with my dad one time and the psychiatrist humiliated me about it (I had no idea my mum had told him all the things I get up to and felt betrayed by her too)

    Whenever I see a therapist (I am 21 now) this story always comes up. The thing is I can clearly remember wetting the bed just to get my mum's attention - I'm pretty sure it wasn't because I couldn't control it, I just liked that it meant she would come upstairs and give me a hug and make a fuss over me.

    No therapist has ever managed to get me to recall what went on before the contact with my father became supervised, but the general consensus between them and my mum is that he abused me.

    I went from being top of the class to being the school idiot, I somehow managed to get into quite a good university on a science degree but to be honest I don't understand any of the lectures or the people here. I can'tt really explain it any better than that I just feel like a fraud when I'm talking to people, liek I'm pretending to be a human.

    My parents have both since really let me down - they used to fight over custody of me but now that I'm not living with either of them it's no longer a game x

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  118. You have your heads up your asses.

    Many people (sociopathic or not) try manipulate others. Many succeed. Many don't.
    Being manipulative does not mean you are a sociopath, psychopath, mentally ill, or any such term. It just means you're a lazy shit.
    Being any of those things does not mean you are the smartest person in the room. I cannot stress this enough.

    There are many very intelligent people out there who are good, feeling, ethical people who are a lot smarter than you will ever be.
    We don't have little blogs and little websites about our dramatic little label we like to carry around for ourselves.
    We're just decent people who aren't suckers.

    As someone running a very profitable welding business, i can tell you all that all kinds of people will try and fuck you, especially if you're making good money, but it happens very rarely (at least in this industry), and never more than once.

    Many have tried. Many have failed. Many, many more will fail later.

    Maybe i'm out of touch.
    Maybe its more rare in my industry, where there are very tangible, verifiable technical standards that are simply met or simply not.
    Maybe the sales, service and finance industries (because there are no fucking jobs or manufacturing left in this part of the world) attract all the grifters, swindlers, and snakes.
    Maybe that's why you're all crawling out of the woodwork with your little websites and your little labels for your little selves.

    Not that long ago, when people still actually made things in this part of the world besides boner pills and blankets with sleeves, we knew how to deal with you people (genuine sociopaths or not).
    We found out who fucked up the project (it was easy then because there was real industry with real tasks involving real materials ).
    We took them out back for a little chat.
    He was too ashamed and afraid to go to the hospital afterwards, so he did his own first aid at home.
    Word spread across town before he even got home, and he never worked in the industry again, let alone the sector, and certainly not in the region.
    We still cut him a cheque for every hour he worked, because we're not a bunch of banker snakes.


    You're all more than eager to talk about yourselves at length, and split hairs over your fucking baggage from childhood.
    But no one has mentioned the money yet.

    There's no fucking industry left here, people. There is no new money coming in. Its all money going out now. Of course there's a sudden wave of diagnosing and justifying your non-productive behaviour. We can't hold everyone accountable for not pulling their weight. Nearly EVERYONE would be at fault.


    So keep dreaming about your easy, lucrative (and importantly, labour-free) future just around the corner as an ad exec, or pop star, or investment guru. If it doesn't happen, don't worry, you can rationalize it away with another term, or better yet, another precious website.


    So enjoy selling each other services, insurance and horseshit scams for the rest of your lives, you self-absorbed, crooked, lazy little shits. Us few skilled workers that remain will comfortably laugh our way to relative security while the rest of you come begging for real paying work down the road.

    Fuck you all!

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  119. Hey fellow bedwetters ain't this place a pisser. Better than working for some fucker in a factory alright! Working hard to make somebody other then yourself rich is for fucking fools but getting others to work hard for you, for as little as possible, is one way to wealth. The easy way though is to scam via unpunished white collar crime, work for the government, or both. Besides, robots are doing more and more factory jobs better than humans.

    Oneforallandallforme
    Lazy Shit

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  120. WanderingWandererMarch 15, 2012 at 3:22 AM

    I am wondering if I have sociopathic tendencies. The person I am with seems to think so. I do believe in a sense of justice though, and do care somewhat about a perfected vision of the world. I will list signs why I think I am, and why I think I am not one.

    Why I think I am not a sociopath -

    I have a great sense of justice for the world, believe strongly in the rule of law, and think that the “greater good” is of extreme importance.

    I often feel sadness or depressive thoughts, sometimes suicidal.

    I believe Mother Theresa, MLK, and others were some of the greatest people in the world. i.e. I strongly believe in the servant leader

    I believe in equality, and significantly dislike persecution of minorities.

    I do feel gut reaction sadness at some time, but these are often fleeting.

    I often date people of lower economic or social status than me

    I once killed a dove with a BB gun and cried about it. I hate hunting, killing, etc.

    I do not commit crimes.

    I've always been fairly spiritual.

    Why I think I might be:

    I did not cry at my grandmothers funeral, and in fact was focused on something fairly trivilial and was more upset about a object I lost (I was over 10 years old). The crying of others did not move me, and I wanted the whole thing to be one with. Funerals are often just cold boring things to me.

    I have a bit of a messianic complex. I literally at one time believed I was some kind of leader or religious figure.
    I believe I am generally intellectually superior to others
    I rarely visit family.
    I have poor impulse control. I love to shop for luxury goods, and dine out.

    I am a habitual cheater in relationships and do lie about it though my relationships are usually long-term.
    I generally like sex with those cute as I feel it is an accomplishment.

    I often change clothes to suit the occasion, often dressing more humbly if for example helping out with community service to make myself look better or often dressing up for more formal occasions. I tend to also wear what is needed (such as a ribbon for causes among those who may be affected, etc.) specifically with the intent to build rapport.

    I intently read books on human psychology, how to manipulate people, how to gain power, and how to influence others.
    I often lie to look better, or to avoid situations.
    I worked in a customer service job once and often had extremely violent thoughts about hurting or killing customers, to the point I scared my coworker once on disclosing that.

    I believe the system is corrupt, and those who are manipulative get ahead. I believe the system is inherently unjust, and most are cheating.
    I often enter social situations such as meetings or parties in a calculated way. I at least want to speak to, and conversate with the highest ranking person in the room.
    Sometimes at events I place people in hierarchies of power according to their influence both visible, and invisible.
    I often strategically place information in conversations to make myself look better, or to charm the other person.
    I have a hard time making real friends, and drop my friends rather coldly. I tend to be rather isolated, but try to make strategic friendships to help move my career forward. Even then I can't help myself as it feels like it takes too much energy to conversate with people.
    I often feel foreign to the situations
    Words that often evoke feelings in others such as “rape” “assault” “death” do not in me. This is odd as it depends on the situation, sometimes I have complete unfeeling coldness and other times I do react with a gut sadness. I often joke about rape. Gruesome scenes of people starving, being killed, or war scenes do not evoke feelings in me other than the sense that it is a violation of greater justice.

    My family and friends sometimes say I only contact them when I need something.
    My significant other often complaints that I habitually lie, do not talk to them except when I want to talk to them, etc.

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  121. Hello. I am NOT a sociopath, but im fairly certain that my friend is. Im not his friend, but he is mine. Since he doesn't actually have friends. Just people he keeps around incase he needs them for something. I came across this blog while trying to find info on what he is. Yes, im a nosey person who thinks that she can fix her friend. lol After reading most of the posts on here...lol..im not seeing sociopathy. So, i decided to post, myself, and tell you what i believe a sociopath really is. (i will describe my friend)
    Imagine a person completely void of emotion. Every action, every smile, every gesture is fake. He doesn't see family, friends, loved ones. He sees annoyances, objects, things that he has to deal with in order to live in peace.
    For example, i've seen him start a conversation with a girl, work it up into a flirtacious laughter with big smiles and than go completely stone cold, look the girl right in the eyes and say "i'm done with you, go away". When i ask him why he does this he tells me that he wanted to practice something and than he had no more use for her.
    He doesn't hurt people on purpose or gain entertainment from manipulating people. He does everything for one reason: to live in society without problems. He doesn't care enough to enjoy what he does, nor does he care enough to boast about what he is. To him, it's normal to feel nothing. He doesn't get angry, he doesn't get sad, or happy. Actually he is bored all the time. and he would never waste his time blogging about sociopathy. Sorry, i had to add that...seriously...he would think it was boring.
    If you're wondering how i know this stuff about someone like him, it's simple, i asked him. I've known him for a long time and he knows that i wouldn't interfere in how he lives. and the fact that telling me was way easier for him to do than listening to me nag him until he talked to me lol.
    He's amazing at reading people and understanding what they are about. He's also very smart. He can pass a psych class without even opening his text books. (i hate him for that) Anyway, this is a small example of what i think a sociopath is and i hope you will be kind in your responses, if there are any.

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    1. That's kinda scary. For a moment I thought you were someone I know who was talking about me.
      Yes, I'll agree that your friend exhibits the "qualities" of a sociopath. Right now I'm only on this blog 'cause I'm bored out of my mind and I've got nothing better to do myself.
      However, I find it intriguing that your friend has as many similar characteristics as I do.
      I once dated a girl, completely aware of her feelings toward me, for the sake of testing my ability to fool her, and actively made the effort (for like 3 weeks) to keep up the facade.
      At work I rarely, if at all, genuinely care about the people that I serve, and continuously wear a fake smile and put on pleasantries because I need the money to get what I want, and good customer service is important in my line of business.
      At one point, I also used a (different) girl - also fully conscious of her feelings toward me - in order to escape the dull, pointless conversation of someone who may or may not have been clinically insane. I promptly left her after I became aware that he had left the area.
      I can honestly say that I had no intention of hurting these people (2 in this example, many more if I had the time or space). However, that is not to say that I wasn't aware of the fact that I was using them to my own ends. I was completely aware. Nor do I actually care if I did hurt them.
      It may seem cold, and it probably is (though I still don't care), but I used them for a purpose, they fulfilled that purpose, and then they became unnecessary.
      From what you've posted so far, I can guess that your friend also operates in this manner. I can also guess that he only engages in social events when it becomes beneficial to him or if it turns into necessary activity.
      I am also guessing that he has no general interest in the opposite sex, or more specifically, in dating (though he probably does have a slight interest in sex itself, as most guys do)(also, please do not mistake this for me calling him gay).
      He may understand what people expect of him, but fails to understand why (am i correct?).
      (This is by no means any accurate judgment, just an estimated analysis) On the opposite spectrum, you are outgoing and fun, and enjoy to spend time with people and engage in social activities. As such, you can't understand how he could live in such a way as to share no genuine interest in other people.
      In regard to his experiment, you probably had less of an interest in the effect it had on the girl in question (unless she was a close friend) and more of an interest in why he bothered to do it in the first place.
      Also, the fact that you're posting this about him and still referencing him as your friend even though he doesn't consider you to be his, indicates that you didn't post this with any sort of malign intentions and that you do indeed care about him - even though that caring is most likely one-sided.
      I am only basing this information on two other people with similar traits as you. I find that your type of personality is common especially in women.
      If you could post and let me know if my analysis is correct, I would appreciate it.

      (Or not. I already got bored of this 20 minutes ago, so I may or may not be back to check it sometime in the near future.)

      Delete
  122. I was diagnosed at age 14 by a clinical psychologist as being a “Principled High Functioning Sociopath”. At 14 I just blew him off. I figured he had it all wrong because mostly everything I told him was a lie. The lies were to keep my world I had created safe and untapped. Around 16 I got found out as to my addiction to needles with opiates and alcohol, my favorites. These needed secrecy at all cost in the early 70’s in High School. I masked the “love for my god” I had with heroine with social alcohol use and pot. I fell into recovery finally in my mid twenties. A program which introduced me to a bigger God and some principles to live by. I have successfully stayed away from opiates, needles and alcohol “my love”. I honestly do not know if I am truly a sociopath, however here I am 30 years later struggling because of having destroyed my life and those around me with "my real love”...my lies, my secrets, my behaviors and the self created world I live in which no one to this day knows about.

    You only know me as to what I present to you. I have deep principles I expect you to live by so my world will be a better place. Lies you tell are irritating to me because it forces me to work around you with my lies. I really detest when I have to lie better than you to keep my world safe and protected. I learned compassion and empathy through the principles of recovery. Basically I have used the recovery to look better than I ever did before. I have a very strong ability for love, lust and sex. Many say it is unrealistic to be madly in lust and sexual daily. That is when I become disenchanted with your inability to live in a fantasy. I then proceed to unravel things methodically and purposefully to get rid of the bad actors in my fantasy world who will not cooperate and see things my way. I really do not care what any of you think, but it does irritate me very much when you speak with others like a condescending bunch of pricks. I would like to take the one out who laughs at others in this group because he/she or it thinks they are the real deal and no one else is. I would like to hear some fact based comments from life. If you are one of the rude ones on this board...Fuck You in advance for your lack of manners.

    Sincerely,
    m

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  123. I know a sociopath very well, and to be honest she wouldn't waste her time feeling lonely about it, trying to find and connect with others, or trying to prove that she was one on an internet forum. She is too busy stealing, cheating, lying and then crying, exploiting that fact that her gran has cancer, and pretending to have feelings in order to get away with it.

    There are many different types of personality disorder. There is a difference between being disconnected and disenfranchised from society and others around you, and being an actual sociopath. Just because you don't care much about others' feelings, that doesn't make you a sociopath. It's highly possible you're actually just a bit of a bastard. Those who write on here seem to feel a need to "belong". A true sociopath doesn't care about belonging - they take pride in being unique. A true sociopath doesn't really love. Sorry, that's the truth. If you want to read a definition of a true sociopath, they are all over the internet, try Wikipedia. Here, a lot of people seem to be trying to redefine the term because they want to be a sociopath. In a nutshell - if you try to not hurt others, if you even think for a second about consequences - you're NOT a sociopath. You are probably just very self-centred and trying to justify that in some way. The short definition of a sociopath is "...a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood."

    These people who are scoffing and saying "you 'empaths' have no idea what you're talking about" - to those of us who know actual, real sociopaths, and the kind of emotional and financial devastation they cause, you sound pretty stupid, and desperate to be different and "better" than others. Being a sociopath is not really anything to be proud of. Yes they are survivors and they have a diminished sense of fear, they live in the moment and they are wild characters who seem to have a sort of amoral freedom from conscience that would sometimes seem attractive - but that doesn't make them superhuman. They are only as successful as the people around them are gullible. Their plans are unsustainable as they never think long-term. They eventually wear out one group of victims and have to find new ones. They don't respect the law. They don't respect societal rules. They don't consider the consequences of getting caught. They repeatedly do things that are grounds for arrest, whether the police actually get involved or not (as this would usually require that the victim presses charges, often they don't). It's all there, in the definition of a sociopath. That is what we're talking about, isn't it?

    It's bad to be a sociopath, but it's seriously pathetic to be a fake one. Those of you who are really need to grow up.

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    1. Pearls Before SwineMay 15, 2012 at 9:44 AM

      I have struggled with emotions for years due to experiences in childhood and later life. I originally came on this site to gain information in order to better and more quickly identify socios for my own protection. I agree with everything you said. I have repressed my emotions and emotional pain for so long and to such a degree, I no longer really care about what happens to anyone else. I learned in therapy that I apparently began repressing emotion and standing outside myself to observe at a very early age. I also learned how to manipulate people into doing things to make life easier for me. However, I have NEVER harmed anyone in my attempts to coerce them. The main thing I have learned from this site, (which I rarely visit anymore) is that sociopaths are just like every other human in that some are stupid and some are smart, and all degrees in between. Thanks for a great post.

      Delete
  124. you are a sociopath period.

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  125. Closet_Sociopath i am infatuated with your mind

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  126. hahahha! WTF is this, really??
    A bunch of emos sociopaths?? Sharing experiences, identifying with what others say about themself.. There's no need to repress what you think or want, except when you need manipulate someone. There's a basic desire, there are methods.. Simple as that, the rest is bullshit, human weakness and rationalization... You guys are schizos, despersonalized assholes. I still looking for a sociopath who considers himself as a sociopath, he in fact will laugh about this.. And why you want to be part of this group??? I's just DSM bullshit for weak people to become slaves of drugs and doctors.. Get real people, free yourself.

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  127. Okay. Guys. Seriously.

    Whats with all this talk about 'not being human' because you don't feel or function the same way as the majority of 'normal' human beings? Is there some list or book out there that defines what a human being is or how they should carry themselves in life? If you look human, you most likely are one.

    Or a hairless ape.

    Don't go tossing around the word monster as if you have any idea what it means or understand it.

    You. Are. Human.

    Nothing more. Nothing less.

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  128. I came across this site in efforts to find out solutions to stop my cravings. For the past 9 years as I'm 23 now I realized that I'm not normal or close to a social norm. I've always had troubles making friends and keeping them. I find them to get boring fast and lose interest. The same goes for relationships. I realize its not having friends its making them want to like me and I succeed but yet after that I go away. Its easy to get what I want and when it isn't I get angry. I feel nothing for people yet I have a 5 year old son. I love him as much as I can because I know hes me. Its hard for me not to get mad at him and its hard to show him affection. I don't know whats wrong with me. I can't find a therapist to diagnose me because I know I can say what ever I want to make it whatever I want. I can lie like I can write a book. I know that I will never kill anyone and I know I wouldn't hurt someone due to my fears of getting caught but yet I think thoughts of killing and eating them. Its been getting worse as I get older and my hate towards people grow more and more. I try to like people and to care but I can't when shit they do is their faults. I know I'm a sociopath but why can't anyone else figure me out. I hate feeling miserable and I hate feeling nothing. I like being alone yet I need someone around to do things for me. I can't understand myself. I want to know if I will get worse or can I even change it?

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  129. I think this thing goes to far... This looks like became a "lifestyle" it's crazy, searching on internet there is people that believe that is good to be a sociopath look for this website http://iamasociopath.tumblr.com is about how to be a sociopath...this person is completely crazy...I CAN'T BELIVE THAT...what you think about it?

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  130. after reading the comments i have drawn striking similarities between myself and things listed. for example: i have a "friend" named megan doss whom i hardly ever see anymore and i have known her for eleven years and not seeing does not bother me at all. another example: i have a sister who loves to talk to me about her issues, and how her day went, i normally zone because it is so boring, also i get bored extremly easily, but when she needs advice i always give her good usable advice but it really means nothing to me. also even if i am around a large group of people i always feel lonely, even around my family. i do still feel "stronger" emotions, like love, sadness, guilt, but not to length that they are supposed to be felt. i also went through alot of "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" (yes i was bi-sexual, i am a girl by the way) but it was all out of pity, i felt nothing for most of them. i am with somebody now, have been for four years, i do feel love for him, but whenever he is gone i don't miss all the time, only right as he is leaving and it's just because i don't want to be alone again. also when i am around my "friends" i feel detached and bored. i pretend to act happy, or whatever emotion the situation calls for but i'm really just bored. so any thoughts, could i be sociopathic?

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  131. I've also been questioning myself about it. But I found some contradictions. I think I feel emotions, but those emotions come and go quickly.

    --

    Example 1: Once I was talking to my partners grandpa and my eyes teared listening to his story (I felt true emotions). He died. In his funeral, I laughted (quietly) for no reason. No feeling, no angry, nothing...

    Example 2: Started working in a big company. In the beginning I was doing everything exceptionaly well. Some months passed, I started arriving at work in the afternoons, started attending meeting from home, etc...

    One day my manager called me for a meeting. Said I was doing a good job, etc... again... I could feel my eyes almost tearing of emotion while telling him that I loved what I was doing etc... (I really think I was feeling emotions at that exact moment), but the true is that I was in that job just to have a good position, money, etc... but I would never confess that (because I would never let people see any incoherences and gaps).

    --

    I'm able to feel deep emotions watching a movie for example, but if my mother is sick, or my girl is in pain for example, I don't pay much attention and I feel little (as usual), I found those casual problems people have as boring (I would like to pay more attention but I just can't keep this attention, this is not part of me).

    So, I really appretiate art (music) for example. But I don't give much attention to those problems that people around me have (like sickness, sadness, love, etc...).

    I feel emotions, but I'm always making some effort to be coherent and inducing things to fill any gap. Basically I'm able to agree with someone in one moment, and in another moment I'm able to have a different point about the same subject (like a form to be coherent and fill gaps). I don't see myself as manipulative, I just flow through the events. If I see some roadblock, I use "coherence" to pass trough it.

    --

    Also, I think I'm poisoned to create something really big. I think I have a mission as others also commented.

    I also believe in god, and I have some feelings about it too. I believe that we must be fair and correct (and I really try to help others in some way). Don't practice any religion though.

    Another crazy thing I did was to act completely different at university. My normal way is be more quiet, but I tried to use another character during one semester and it worked quite well. But I abandoned this character thing, this is crazy.

    Also, I like to experiment things with people and animals, nothing really bad, but I experiment them by doing something really not expected and see how they react (I'm actually addicted to that). I like to irritate people and animals, that alleviates me really.

    But really, I think I'm not a psycho... that's crazy ... don't know... because I'm intuitive and somehow sensitive to things.

    Sorry for my average english and thanks for letting me put some words here.

    Uff :p

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  132. Reading all these accounts gives me great identification. I am not alone in my thoughts and can give free rein to them here. As a child, I was an extreme loner. People seemed very stupid and ridiculous to me, especially my peers. The adult world seemed like some exclusive club I would never be a part of. I educated myself by reading encyclopedias from beginning to end, voracious for a complete picture of this finite world. My parents were very self-involved alcoholics who had little time for me. Just as well, life was much better on my own and that was my comfort zone.

    I began to exhibit socially unacceptable behavior early on. Killing cats and birds, stealing things from anyone, trespassing and observing others doing their stupid lives. Set some fires. Became interested in black arts, spells, voodoo dolls, thought control and the like. Hated my peers, who were impossibly petty and unlikeable. I didn't like anyone, really. The world made no sense to me. Everything seemed random, like some sick inside joke. I became very angry and withdrawn from most normal kid activities.

    However, I learned as a young man to control my outward persona to get through it all with a minimum of difficulty. I yessed people to death, was very polite and seemed like a "good kid" if a bit sensitive and "different." Actually, I was quite dead inside and wanted nothing more than to be alone. I faked most everything that required accountability or societal approval. Six different people, including my mother, molested me from age 5 to age 14. I felt powerless to do anything about it and that made me furious.

    So I acted out more and more and the kicker was I was rarely caught. It was as if I was invisible, which suited me just fine. Stealing, breaking valuable things, blowing things up with fireworks and gunpowder, grabbing girls breasts then acting totally innocent, all the while watching, watching and watching, looking for people's weaknesses and blind spots. By the time I got to high school, I had become a dangerous individual.

    I was given an IQ test and got a 155, genius level, but I couldn't care less. I knew I was smart anyway. So what. It gave me a big edge over the ignorant masses. That was all I cared about. If I did something "wrong" and was caught, I feigned surprise and exhibited the required level of remorse or guilt. I got over those feelings very quickly. I knew I was a bad seed and reveled in that knowledge. Drugs and alcohol were a revelation. I could act out even more and things began to escalate and get extreme.

    I wasn't comfortable with anyone except like-minded kids who lived on the edge. I didn't know how to relate to girls and I just wanted to use them. I molested several young girls and had exploratory sex with guys. I started collecting pornography and became hyper-sexual. I discovered amphetamines and they gave me the sexual extremism I sought. I would stay up all night masturbating and covered myself with lotions, butter, lard, eggs, mayonnaise or anything else slippery. I would squirm around in bed in the ooze and used big dildos to enhance my pleasure. I was in extreme ecstacy and it was the only time I really felt anything pleasurable in my life. My sick secret.

    Continued in next post

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  133. Part 2

    I got kicked out of high school and was sent to live with a woman and her two kids and go to another school, a faux prep school. Putting me into a home with an attractive 34 year old woman and her young boy and girl was a BIG mistake. It wasn't long before I was stealing money and antiques to pawn. I molested the girl while the boy watched. I was flunking out of school and spent my days wandering around the city high on booze and drugs. One day, I stole sixty pills of speed from a stranger and went on a sexual spree in the bedroom of my hostesses' house. I wandered between the bedrooms masturbating while I watched them sleep. Eventually my lust made me try to insert my fingers into the woman's vagina and she bolted awake and ran from the room. I continued my masturbating and she took her kids into her daughter's room and pleaded with me to stop.

    I was up all night, then as I came down, I realized what I had done and knew I'd have to flee everything and disappear so I wouldn't have to face the music. I packed up some things into a backpack and fled while my hostess said I'd have to move out. I didn't give a damn. I stuck out my thumb and headed across country, all the way to California from the east coast. I was seventeen, I had run away and I was finally free.

    Fast forward through the years. I have lived a crazy life and gotten away with many things which could have landed me in jail for a long time. I started several businesses, which all failed. I had "relationships" with various women but the only one I truly enjoyed was with a sex-crazed German woman who rarely talked. Just my kind of girl! She loved me despite my insanity - completely. She is the only woman I ever "loved." I held many different jobs for varying lengths of time. I borrowed big sums of money that I never paid back. Who cares, screw them I thought. I have an honest, trustworthy and handsome face and I am very convincing. I should have been a top white collar criminal.

    Over time, I began to develop a rich fantasy world in my mind in which I hurt people very badly. I am at a point in my life now where performing certain acts has become a distinct possibility. But I intend to stay free and never be apprehended, so they will have to be perfect crimes. I read scholarly works about criminal psychology and methodology to hone a skill set that will outshine all those who were caught, killed or committed suicide. I watch the most violent, depraved and sickening videos to stoke the fires within. I want to kill people - savagely. Torture, rape, disembowelment and all the rest.

    Do I feel anything as I write this? Yes - extreme excitement! This is who I am, what I have become. Is it wrong? Yes, but not to me. It is my birthright and the world deserves my wrath. But in the meantime, I play the game and play it well. No one would EVER suspect the horrors within me.

    Say what you will, I'm all ears. I don't seek any adulation. Or you can condemn me as a potential blight on society, but I don't really care. I am what I am and I will do what I will do. Simple as that.

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  134. Just because you have a metnal issue doesnt give you the right to violate someones rights, cause harm to others,damage property, instill fear by stalking, harrass others and be fake and calculated in your actions towards others. I'm a 40 something female and have been stalked, vandelized, harrassed and spent many hours in the police station or court system trying to be free from the mental torment of this girl stalker for over 12 years.. she was the girlfriend of my step-son. even though they have not been together for many many years, she still wants to play games like a 5 year old.. I have another court date coming up and have written yet another victim impact statement. Some people say why is this happening to me, however I would not wish this torment on anyone..so I would not say I wish it on anyone. If you know you have a mental illness, ...for christ sake go get help and leave us alone..

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  135. As I recently got caught cheating with another girl by my girlfriend, I reflect on my past and look at the previous instances where I desire something else than what I already have and how much I lie to obtain it. I've lied to get what I want since I was very young, be it playing video games and watching tv. Countless times, I seek the emotional torture of others by my words when I destroy them. I take until there is nothing left. I care for people, but I find myself often abusing their trust or using them. I calculate what i can gain from relationships and find it hard to empathize with death. I believe I have a fairly high intelligence and am fairly narcissistic. I value material things and my possession of expensive things only adds to my narcissism.

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  136. I have heard that it is impossible to "cure" a sociopath, which from what I understand, is not the same thing as a psychopath. The sociopath blends in better with the social scene and can even appear charming, although distant and reserved compared to the average person.
    Sociopaths adapt and act accordingly for their own gain.
    Psychopaths tend to act impulsively and openly with no fear of blowing their nonexistent cover.
    From what I understand, anyhow.
    I suppose I would know a bit about this, being that I have sociopathic tendencies and have been labelled this among other things (narcissistic, obsessive-compulsive, etc.)

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  137. I really don't know that much about the whole thing but i am very much like u well no the same i have just came to beleive im might be a sociopath the only difference between us is i like hugs, kissing, and attention from someone i think i love. i think and have a reason why i say what i say. i don't feel but make myself feel what i think i should be feelin. like i said i just started looking in to this. you my contact me thru email crystalbabypink@yahoo.com

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