Monday, June 27, 2016

The nature of who you are

From a reader:

I felt it appropriate to pass some praise your way about your book. I must admit I haven't finished the book, but have found the sections I've read so far explain more about the way I think than any discussion with another human I've ever had.

I'm a student at University and don't have many years of history to draw on but upon reading your book I found myself internally matching my experiences to yours and looking for any obvious connections, and I have to say I don't think any other person has quite achieved being able to explain what it's like in my mind. The egocentric writing style exactly how I would approach a book explaining my experiences that could be considered dark or disconnected from normal human emotion.

Your mention of the gaze of a sociopath was an interesting point to me. I've had numerous individuals inform me about the creepy, cold and intriguing nature of my stare during conversation. And then when you mentioned boredom I totally understood what was meant. I find myself avoiding boredom because boredom is my idea of hell. I make it my life goal to do things that allow me to avoid boredom. I find being bored only leads me to want to be more deceitful and underhanded in nature, which risks my social standing with people. A thing that has benefits for me!

The discussion of games, and the use of manipulation because it is merely a tool are things I've said and used many a time to aid my success in different endeavours. I was recently called callous and cold for informing my friends that a friendship is defined by how useful someone is to me and how useful I am to them, a lack of use on either part indicates the termination of a friendship. Throughout relationships I've found it hard to relate to the other person's feelings, and have turned to infidelity numerous times and haven't experienced guilt from the act. I always felt my desire is my priority, and that if one person isn't interested then I must solve the problem myself.

Violence has been a part of my history that I hideaway the most, for it's the section I feel that normal people will be the most disgusted and terrified of. Not all because of things I've done, but also because of the ideas of things I wanted to do to someone in anger. But stopped myself because it would hinder me more than benefit me. I don't recall ever stopping myself because of a thought about the other person. For the life and existence of the other person is of little interest to me. And your early discussion of morality where you highlight the line 'survival of the fittest'. This is a line I use commonly to describe the nature of how humans should live their lives. I'm of the firm idea in my mind that survival of the fittest is how we got here, and if it manages to allow for the evolution of humans it can damn well allow for the further evolution into greater successes. And there within your book, I could see someone understanding my argument.

These few things are what cause me to have to mask my inner self around everyone. But it is your book that made me realise specifically the nature of the person I am. I spend my days passing off lies about my personal life and experiences to remain grounded with in a group, constantly keeping a watchful eye on the others around me to see if their term of use has expired. But within this email to you I feel I've been more unshielded than I've been to close friends. It is because you have opened my eyes that I must thank you. I wish there was more of a community where discussion of these experiences could be held, my curiosity is now piqued. There is so much more I could say but I feel it matters not to the message of this email.

61 comments:

  1. FIRST!!!

    WOO-HOO!!!

    ~Vegas

    ReplyDelete
  2. I enjoy these posts; gaining a glimpse of the world through a different paradigm is a worthwhile exploration for me.

    Honestly, I think relationships are about utility. It's simply that neurotypicals have a very different set of criteria around value. There's a saying that a friend can become a stranger in a matter of moments - that stuff happens. Alliances are often fleeting... but they often re-form too.

    I think it's a happy person who can flow through such flux without taking it personally yet still give and receive value where it works to do so. Communicating clearly and taking responsibility for our own selves both seem key.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The word "vacuous" comes to mind.

      Delete
    2. As blank as a fart

      Delete
    3. Smells like a fart.

      Delete
    4. **_* does not like farts.

      Delete
    5. Let me know when you get bored.

      Delete
    6. **_* does not like ice.

      Delete
    7. Enjoy talking to yourself much?

      Delete
    8. I'm sure your strange narrative makes just as much sense to you as mine does to me.

      There's no sign you're actually here to communicate.

      Much.

      Delete
    9. North I'm afraid I wrote the quote as blank as a fart. Its from fire walk with me. Its one of my favorite lines. It had been running through my head. It so perfectly sums up-so many things. But I can't take credit for the other anon....

      Delete
  3. This conent is simply exciting and creative. I have been deciding on a institutional move and this has helped me with one aspect. Cheers!

    Suicide Squad Stream Online | Ice Age Collision Course Stream Online | Warcraft Stream Online | Alice Through the Looking Glass Stream Online

    ReplyDelete
  4. i wonder if of day personality test or bran scans will necessary in order to have a job higher than a trash collector? Plus I wonder if it is possible to make sociopaths rat out other sociopaths

    ReplyDelete
  5. "The Cirkle" is an invite-only community for "successful" sociopaths to meet other "successful" sociopaths, educate each other and discuss the alien world we were all born into and have to navigate like a chameleon.. a world which is dominantly occupied by creatures who outwardly look exactly like us, but internally operate on hardware which is wired completely different compared to our hardware.

    "We Are, Thát's The Question." Send an email to cirk [at] protonmail [dot] com with a short motivation to request an invite.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The app will enable you to download HD videos, latest songs and even watch Live TV on your Android phone: vidmateapp

    ReplyDelete
  7. Speaking of the "nature of who you are," read this article:

    http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20160627-i-am-gay-but-i-wasnt-born-this-way

    The confusion regarding who or what is a sociopath and what constitutes sociopathy is similar to the confusion regarding homosexuality. The fact that the author doesn't seem to accept the fact that at least SOME gay people really don't choose to be gay and have an exclusively homosexual orientation would have surprised me a year ago, but not now. He's obviously on the psychopathy spectrum and has an inability to believe that others are being genuine when they share their stories.

    If you choose to identify yourself first & foremost as a sociopath, than you inevitably must take responsibility for ALL sociopaths and any variation thereof OR you must carefully define what it is you mean by the term. I used to find it almost offensive when someone with a bisexual or heterosexual orientation claimed to be "gay." In doing so, they're deliberating causing confusion. It is a world of a difference to be in the closet because you're incapable of being with the opposite gender, even if coerced, than being denied your "preference." It is an ENTIRELY different argument, and entirely different issue altogether.

    Those of us with an exclusively homosexual orientation find the idea of sex with the opposite gender as repulsive. To us, the primary concern was that we are being condemned for being something we neither chose or necessarily approve of or alter. It was NOT about whether homosexuality is good or not, acceptable or not, moral or not. It was simply about the facts.

    The straight guy who engages in gay sex is NOT like the gay guy who only desires the same gender and would never experiment with a woman. This straight guy would never love another guy. His desire is purely sexual and an abnormal one at that since it's sociopathic in nature. The gay guy can live his whole life without sex but still yearn only for the same gender for love & fulfillment.

    Likewise, there are "sociopaths" who have inherited it, or learned it at an early age, and don't consciously choose to behave in deceptive or destructive ways always. Then there are sociopaths who have no such history or predispositions but CHOOSE to stunt their empathy, to aggrandize themselves, and sell their integrity & souls to attain temporal pleasures.

    So once you find out HOW you became what you are, and whose victim you truly are, how then can you go on defending it? If you must, then at the very least, clearly distinguish yourself from that which IS without doubt evil & immoral instead of confusing yourself and others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "don't consciously choose to behave in deceptive or destructive ways always."

      I should clarify: they don't consciously choose to choose to be sociopathic. Of course they know they're lying when they're lying or cheating when they're cheating but there wasn't ever a time when clearly weren't sociopathic at all and then suddenly decided to try it out.

      Delete
    2. I might just be being stupid here, but I've not quite understood what you're saying. I've read over your post a few times and it hasn't clicked. What are you discussing here?

      Delete
    3. I keep reading posts & tweets about how sociopaths just lack xyz or can't relate to "normal" people & their expectations. It makes sociopathy sound like a "condition" - a disorder - just like autism. I attempted to make a comparison with homosexuality to highlight how there's at least two completely different phenomenon at work here using the same word.

      I know for a fact that a certain psychopath exists; someone who is a perfectly normal, empathy-capable, healthy mind who chooses to go down the wrong road and eventually becomes a psychopath. This is akin to the author of the article I posted (not a moral comparison) who chooses to be gay.

      Then there appears to be a sociopath who's just predisposed to psychopathic behavior to some extent. This person never made a conscious choice to become selfish, deceitful and manipulative...they just grew up to be who they are. This can be compared to a gay person who's "born that way."

      There is a massive difference between the two and it has to be made clear. Using the same word to incorporate both sides is bound to lead to confusion and misunderstanding.

      Did that help? You're not being stupid I realize I don't always make my point as clear as can be. Don't hesitate to ask about anything that's still confusing.

      Delete
    4. Also, don't hesitate to tell Jinny to fuck off. You're a sociopath seeking sociopathic advice and insight, he'll just try and convince you its all in your head and that you should see his light and embrace a god which is all in his head.
      I'm not the best one to give answers because I have none and just enjoy reading people's shit and blaspheming Jinnys god, but take note of such bloggers as Superchick, PuppyBasket, Notth...though North does over complicate stuff with intellectual philosophy...oh, and of course, the over weight spasticated male powerhouse that is A [love you really ;)]
      Do it your way, fuck being told you shouldn't do it, if you're sociopathic, you know what's right for you

      Delete
    5. "The only thing more dangerous than ignorance is applied ignorance."

      Delete
    6. "Ignorance is bliss"

      Keep 'em coming Jinny, an original thought not a quo'te must be in there somewhere

      Delete
    7. Originality is overrated.

      Ironic I know.

      Delete
    8. Irony can be so ironic

      But see Jinny...isn't this exactly where the sociopath comes in to play, and just why they are so detrimental to society and more singularly, you?
      Sociopaths are the free thinkers, non conformists, outside of the box speculators...original.
      If it weren't for the sociopaths taking ideas into their own hands and running with them, creating something new, something original, then we'd all live by quo'ting ancient texts and long irrelevant religious mumbo jumbo no?
      You need us Jinny, the world needs sociopaths to keep moving forward, or we all, like your good self, become...unoriginal

      Delete
    9. Yes I hear sociopaths saying this all the time. I never heard anything more unsubstantiated and self-affirming. It's okay I imagine it makes you feel special thinking it to be true.

      The truth is these same "sociopaths" would be of far greater benefit to themselves and society if their brains were spared the facade and delusional thinking. They've diminished their true potential and bought a lie which makes them think the opposite.

      Delete
    10. Unsubstantiated? Jinny my friend, how does it go.."people in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones"? Please, substantiate your god, what you believe in. You can quo'te a book yes, but that's not substance. You believe in what makes you feel good about yourself...unsubstantiated.
      You've bought the lie, the delusion, yet judge sociopaths for embracing theirs.

      Hi kettle, it's me, pot...you're black

      Delete
    11. I told you I've seen undeniable signs of God. Miracles (literally) over the past few months. I know now what "guidance" means. The Book came after God, not vice versa.

      I can't use my experience as evidence for anyone else. It doesn't matter I'm not debating with atheists here. My God-talk is for people who already believe in His existence, whether they acknowledge it openly or not.

      Now I think it's a good time to ignore you until you learn to get over playground name-calling. It's not "original," or impressive or befitting of an adult, be they sociopathic or not.

      Buenos Noches.

      Delete
    12. Aw Jinny, play with me. Read back, I think you'll find I haven't called you any playground names whatsoever (unless Jinny is bothering you?). In fact, all I've done is what I see you doing all the fucking time. Bothering people and trying to push on them that their choices in life are the wrong ones.
      Be a devout believer, but you don't see any of us on some Islamic nonsense fest spouting off scripture at your lot telling them to change their ways and be better people now do you?
      As I'm being accused of name calling, I may as well fit the bill...hypocrite.
      And, again as I've seen you do so much, once you start getting rattled, you end the talk with some foreign au revoir or other. If you don't like the truth being pushed in your over opinionated face, take the hint that none of us do either and, well, basically fuck off and save your time and ours.

      Keep the faith brother. (Blazing Saddles)

      Delete
    13. Let's all lighten the mood now

      http://my-wife-is-a-slut.tumblr.com/

      Delete
  8. I always struggle with the boredom aspect. It runs so much deeper then most give credit. Sure temporary relief is fine and dandy but the long term impact of a generalized boredom is what usually results in me doing something sloppy just to see if I'm caught. Sure this is always a thing dropping hints toward the truend nature of your thoughts to those tertiary "friends" Who you could discredit at a moments need, but I mean sloppy in a sense that is more impact full. To leave evidence behind in one's misgivings just so theyou can lie about it and damage control the situation later to reaffirm their power and geye a kick out of their day.

    Oh, the monotony of life keeps dragging on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's called motivation deficit. Sociopathy is a delusional state so naturally there's no real, solid source of constant motivation.

      I lived most of my life without much motivation. It was strong up until High school. I did well in college but I still consider it a waste of my time since I could have done WAY better.

      Business was the only thing which got me focused and driven. I could put myself aside and become the company. Then I had head-on collision with psychopathy and had my awakening.

      The "monotony of life" will indeed drag on so long as you remain spiritually blind. This is a side effect of our "enlightened" material world. Try asking God for direction and see how things go. It will only benefit, not harm you.

      Peace.

      Delete
    2. Anon 10:15 you're so fucking right I'm struggeling with the same exact issue. I share too much of my wonderfull thoughts, with "friends", due to boredom. Have you figured out yet any methods for how to stop from exposing yourself?

      Delete
  9. I'm not a huge reader but one book I can't believe I've never read is the catcher in the rye. I'm about half way through it and it isn't what I expected at all. Its a little hard to read but strangely fascinating. If Holden isn't a sociopath I don't know who is. His character is not exactly likable but there is something endearing about him. His strange grammer immediately reminded me of myself. Some if the things he says are laugh out loud funny. It makes me wonder about myself a bit. And so concludes my summer book report.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Holden doesn't display a lot of characteristics of a sociopath. I think it's more probable that he's suffering from PTSD. But anyway, great book, yes.

      Delete
    2. As usual I didn't finish the book before I wrote my book report. Now that I have I agree with you anon 9:09 that he is not truly a sociopath. And it is a really good book. I can see why many people can relate with his character.

      Delete
  10. I think sociopaths tend to think everyone-including nons- have the same contempt for everyone that they have. But as for myself-not being a sociopath-that contempt is very striking. Very unnecessary. That is sort of the sociopaths calling card in my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I just saw a bumper sticker, that made me smile.:)

    It read:

    Wag More
    Bark Less

    ~Vegas

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Speaking of which, here is the "Song of the Day":

      Pharrell Williams

      Happy

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    2. Mr. Hyde-

      This song came to mind, when you said you were "hopping around", after selling your article to a magazine.:)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    3. Jonaid-

      There are "Minions" in this video.:)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    4. M.E.-

      Regarding your tweet:

      "having a sociopath around to kick you into thinking more rationally isn't bad..."

      I agree.:)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    5. Vegas. ME tweeted my stuff again. And i am happy you like it.

      OldAndWiseJune 21, 2016 at 6:39 PM

      ME, thank you. I am glad my thinking still resonates with you.

      And I am still enjoying this strange relationship with the only sociopath I am ever aware of having met.

      Vegas, you are it. Hugs.

      Delete
    6. Also, vegas and north, please reconcile?

      You have much more in common than you might think you do. Just different ways of dealing with it.

      Vegas parties sings and dances.
      North analyzes and phylosophises.

      But all 3 of us are dealing a similar experience in different ways. You 2 have had much more difficult stuff to ingrate/get over than I ever do.

      If you feel like it, kick your brains into thinking more rationally. You might have much to share. Vegas i dont read everything om this site, but i beliebe we still don't know your story. Do you care to share?

      Delete
    7. Integrate..

      Delete
    8. It's funny to watch people dance.:)

      When I watch the "Happy" video, and it shows "The Minions" dancing, I crack up laughing and I can't stop...

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    9. OldAndWise-

      That's cool that M.E. tweeted your stuff, and I do like it-M.E. tweets good stuff!!!

      Did you share your story before I was here? If you did, I could attempt to locate it, in the archives...

      Thanks for the "hugs"!!! Hugs to you, too.:)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    10. Vegas,

      Thanks for the song. It gave me that added jolt to finish the rewrite for the article -- the editor is happy. Though I don't imagine she was quite as 'happy' as those dancing in your song for the day.

      Now it's back to work on my legal case. Got a song for social justice? ;)

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    11. "Just different ways of dealing with it."

      Very true. Introverted intuition (Ni) is my dominant function, which they say becomes the "hero". My Ni was energised to make sense of everything, and through that energy I have a strong experience of growing into my own potential.

      Vegas said she was ISTJ, which means her dominant/hero function is introverted sensing. That fits with the singing and dancing.

      They say Fi is deeply connected to Se for INTJs - I dance a lot too, and this draws out my feelings from their hiding places.

      Do you know your MBTI type, OldAndWise?

      Delete
    12. Mr. Hyde-

      You are more than welcome for the song, and THAT'S SPECTACULAR it gave you the jolt you needed to finish the re-write of your article, and that your editor is happy.:)

      MUSIC IS AWESOME!!!

      I'll try to think of a song for social justice, for you.:)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
  12. Thanks for sharing, i have just searched something on the net and found vidmate app, awesome for video downloading>>> http://vidmatefree.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. Nuestra naturaleza es llegar a ser su puta. Bebemos la delicadeza que nos proporcionen ya que proporcionamos agradable la miel que gotea de lamer .

    ReplyDelete

Comments on posts over 14 days are SPAM filtered and may not show up right away or at all.

Join Amazon Prime - Watch Over 40,000 Movies

.

Comments are unmoderated. Blog owner is not responsible for third party content. By leaving comments on the blog, commenters give license to the blog owner to reprint attributed comments in any form.