Friday, November 8, 2013

Datamining

People sometimes ask me what does it mean when sociopaths say they datamine. Basically they are collecting information about you in an effort to predict your future behavior and what might please or displease you. In this way, they are not much different than Google, Facebook, Orkut, or the other programs that kids are into these days. This was a good description of how these programs work, from Mind Hacks:

The Economist has an excellent article that discusses the increasingly diverse ways in which information from your social network – drawn from services like Facebook, or from telephone calls or payment patterns – are being used to obtain personal information about you.

This is not information which you have explicitly stated or included, but which can be found out or ‘mined’ from your patterns of behaviour and your connections to other people.

And from the Economist article mentioned, the fascinating way in which phone companies target trend-setting customers:

Telecoms operators naturally prize mobile-phone subscribers who spend a lot, but some thriftier customers, it turns out, are actually more valuable. Known as “influencers”, these subscribers frequently persuade their friends, family and colleagues to follow them when they switch to a rival operator. The trick, then, is to identify such trendsetting subscribers and keep them on board with special discounts and promotions. People at the top of the office or social pecking order often receive quick callbacks, do not worry about calling other people late at night and tend to get more calls at times when social events are most often organised, such as Friday afternoons. Influential customers also reveal their clout by making long calls, while the calls they receive are generally short.
Similarly, sociopaths watch your behavior to figure out who you are. It can be something as small as the way you grip a steering wheel when you drive or whether you break prolonged eye contact and when. The sociopath collects all of this information about you and mentally references it to the thousands of other people he has collected information from, coming up with a rough sketch of who you are. As marketers have known for centuries, people that like certain things will probably like other similar things.

It's not hard to collect this information, the sociopath is paying attention to these little behavioral responses anyway to make sure that he is remaining undetected. And it's hard not to notice certain very common human behavioral patterns, once you've been made aware of them.

After the sociopath has collected all of this information, he can use it in various ways. He can use it to better construct his own masks to stay hidden. He can use it to anticipate your every need and desire. Or he can use it to get into your mind and plant yet another type of mine. That's the mining that you really should be worried about, and the only way that the sociopath can set traps in your mind is if you have weaknesses or needs that you refuse to address yourself.

Apart from that, datamining of any type is relatively harmless. It's basically just catering to your expectations.


93 comments:

  1. So very quickly a point is reached where every individual behavioral trait, personality quirks, emotional gaps etc will be neatly catalogued and organised into a psychological database. Hopefully leading to greater awareness and consciousness about the causes of predictable and repetitive outcomes.

    God! I almost look forward if this was true the way things are going. All the Pointless/Endless repetition of personal and collective catastrophes for a large part of our documented history.

    Yet we still carry on generating our own disasters totally oblivious of previous/obvious patterns of decision making. Reacting with outrage and shock as if every situation is new and unique.

    Maybe we need to be punished for our bovine existence and superficial notions of uniquesness and power..

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  2. If a sociopath's mine is constructed crudely, of weak materials, it may collapse, especially under the weight of a mother lode. I have to wonder if anyone would care to try to rescue them.

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  3. The Lovefraud invasion continues.

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  4. Everyone data mines to some degree (unless you're autistic). The difference lies in what one plans to do with the information.

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  5. Why is it so important to stay hidden? Everyone wears masks to some degree but still have a desire to 'be known' (and liked/accetped regardless). I understand its different for sociopaths but I'm curious about 'staying hidden'.

    Regarding coming out to a family (previous thread topic) - who and why would you NOT want to come out to in your family?

    It seems trust is a big issue, has to be processed intellectually, no 'gut feeling' to fall back on. Is that accurate, or even close?

    -Sincerely interested

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  6. "maybe we need to be punished"

    Now that's where I expect a S/P to step up and take over, LOL.

    That's the part that get's me hooked to the twisted game of a relationship with one.

    Can you imagine the power they could have if they used it for good instead of destruction of other's?

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  7. Anon, what did I say to make you think the lovefrauders had invaded?

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  8. If you give people power, most people will abuse it. I don't understand how people are confused by this.

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  9. will there be an ethical shift after all has been mined, mapped exploited and depleted.

    What will be the cost/benefit analysis, game theory and whatever else it might be called then?

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  10. I guess with a name like "Anonymous", you could be an expert on fraud.

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  11. Not that "anon" Aerianne. Also not sure about "Lovefrauders" argument

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  12. I can't commit to a username/ID yet, wonder why the emphasis on staying hidden. irony?

    UKan - what do you mean by giving people power?

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  13. To specify, my comment was directed to Anon @ 7:44.

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  14. It is a choice to abuse power or not. Certain people are more inclined to abuse.

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  15. It was in response to Wish I Knew.

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  16. People who don't know how to wield power abuse it, though I'm sure we would disagree on what abusing power actually means.

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  17. So complex, it give's me a headach. Just when I think I'm grasping it, it slips away. Completly different motive's for what we do.

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  18. Believe me you empathetic people are a lot more complex

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  19. I could imagine we are because emotion's play so heavy with our decision making and reaction's. And that's where the power you have is so strong. You know how to manipulate it. How about you, do you ever feel manipulated?

    Sometime's I like it and play along, makes it new and more interesting. If both don't play it too far.

    I couldn't resist and asked if he felt he was a sociopath, he shruged. Later told me he's not a psycho. LOL

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  20. Also you said in an earlier post, you have times when. You let go verbally on your gfreind, he does that to me. Try's to verbally beat me down as low as he can. Why do you do this and how does she react?

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  21. No, my girlfriend is submissive. She doesn't believe in being manipulative or naggy. She believes it makes her unique, and she's right.

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  22. I'm submissive also. I want to know what do you expect from her when you verbally rake her?

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  23. I expect her to fight back, but she uses a more effective technique. She stays silent through the rage, and waits till later when I'm not angry to make her point. I didn't catch on till later that she did this. Silence can be mistaken for consent.

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  24. I verbally abuse everyone close to me. I verbally abuse the public in my own head, but mostly not out loud since I need to maintain a good reputation for being friendly. I do it for several reasons. I do it for frustration when people do the same predictive things over and over. I do it because I know if I destroy someones will, they will give me what I want. I do it to wake somebody up for their own good. I do it to completely break someone down. You need to destroy something in order to create something new.

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  25. I stay away till he contact's me. It usually happen's if I say I can't dosomething he want's.

    The thing's he say's when he's like that and the name's he call's are so extreme. Never does it in person but thru texting or phone. If anyone ever said those thing's before to me I would have never seen them again or talked to them.

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  26. I also play my role, if he call's me a fucking whore I tell him I'm his whore.

    Sometime's I can turn his anger into a smug smile, then I feel good and then it doesn't bother me.

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  27. PMS are you a Tech. Writer or just anal?

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  28. My girlfriends have said the same thing. You take the abuse, because its tainted truth. We target your insecurities. Insecurities is our main focus. Its how we find out how to play with your emotions. That terrible feeling we give you during our rages is so extreme, but the warmth we give you when you are under our wing is equally extreme. You have to decide realistically in a relationship with a sociopath, if its the right one for you. Sociopaths aren't just what's written in the DSM IV, there is a lot missing since psychology is such a new field. You have to love someone for who they are in any relationship, not who you want them to be. Being on here hopefully gave you a better picture of who he is so you can make that decision.
    Why do you let him disreguard your bounderies?

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  29. Though it's the content of the comments that matters, it's not anal at all for PMS to point it out your use of apostrophes as it is a bit out of control. Plural nouns do not require apostrophes.

    I also play my role, if he call's me a fucking whore I tell him I'm his whore.

    Oy. If I was him I would pity you. Too easy. Gotta have some dignity, lady.

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  30. You should wait till he back to being charming and tell him about how he acted. Otherwise he will get worse.

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  31. That sounds like good advise.

    Did you pick your gf because you saw the submissive qualities in her or found that out later UKAN?

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  32. I picked her because she's strong. Her submissive qualities came out later.
    You didn't answer my previous question. Why do you let him disregard your bounderies.

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  33. Try to answer that later, going out

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  34. @UKan,

    I obviously have no knowledge of your girlfriend, but I have a question regarding your description of her being both strong and submissive. I'm curious whether what appears to be submission isn't actually a behavioral manifestation of her inner strength. Could it be the case that she's strong enough, self-assured enough, to choose her battles and their timing more wisely than most? In that case, would it still be submissiveness, per se? Or would it more rightly be a very intelligent, very successful way for one dominant person to interact with another dominant person? As I said, this is curiosity, not any sort of challenge to how you describe her.

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  35. UKan's gf is obviously strong enough to put up with abuse, for how long though?
    Maybe one day she will decide she's had enough, and take his ass to the cleaners.

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  36. I would suppose that it all depends on what she considers abuse, and whether she gets enough in return to make it worthwhile to her.

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  37. Wonder if Amanda Knox is..?

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  38. No she is submissive, Gabriel. She told me from the beginning that she wanted me to be in charge, and that she's submissive. She is strong, because she knows her role and she does it well.
    Submission is not weak, nor is power strength. It's how you wield what's been given to you that makes up how strong you are.

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    Replies
    1. ""Submission is not weak, nor is power strength. It's how you wield what's been given to you that makes up how strong you are.""

      agreed. me and my SO play both roles out well in different circumstances that arise with us. we submit to oneanother, and both of us are in control of our roles with oneanother. funny, he always told me exactly same thing you stated. there are things he isn't capable of doing, so my role becomes superior, than it flips, he becomes superior and i submit. but it fits. he don't lord it over me, i dont lord it over him.

      Delete
  39. Willful and skillful submission is an art, not a weakness.

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  40. UK, what does it mean to be submissive in a relationship and yet be loved and respected, how does that work? What are you in charge of..sex? I'm not being funny I just don't understand. Whatever your experience of love is, do you have it for her?

    Grace

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  41. Grace, I wouldn't try to answer for UKan, but I will tell you that their are couples who practice lifestyle domination/submission, which carries through all of their interactions; then, there are people who don't carry their dominant and submissive roles outside of sexual acts.

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  42. Why would I return her submission with anything less than something honorable? Submission is a priviledge to both parties. If she was a fool and weak, then her submission would be worthless to me. The fact that she is strong and follows me makes me proud.

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  43. I'm not into the bondage stuff. FYI

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  44. I don't think I could be happy in a relationship being submissive..well maybe a little cause I like to be cared for..but I'm too much of a brat and need respect and the freedom to be silly and ridiculous without being criticized.

    Grace

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  45. I see UK. I didn't understand it like that. I wish the ex saw it that way. What am I saying? He would need to go to sociopath finishing school.

    Grace

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  46. She has the freedom to do what she wants. I'm not some jailer. She goes to school and I pay for everything. She does the domestic stuff, and a few other tasks. She is empathetic, so she is silly and ridiculous on a constant basis.

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  47. Sociopath Finishing School is a concept I like.

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  48. Learning to wield power is difficult. When people get power at first they tend to abuse it. They are clumsy. They let themselves get carried away by excersising it way to often, and in a crude manner. Power is subtle. Its a influence. Lasting power is one that's not forced. Its accepted.

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  49. Wow! You're putting her through school? I would adore you for that;)!! Cool.

    Yes, I'm very rediculous.

    Grace

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  50. ^Which ties back into the point you were trying to make at 10:43 a.m., UKan.

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  51. He abused whatever power I gave him for sure. My bad. He told me this too..he said “I need someone I can't get enough of”. I took it as a cliché, not literally. He made me feel like I could let go and relax..and I did. That's not who I really am though. Magic Man..I love that song.

    Grace

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  52. What did he really mean, Grace? Did he mean he needed someone he couldn't get all of? I mean that as in someone who's resources would never run dry.

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  53. I got some great advice. Put your life in the hands of a psychopath. Who believes in this dribble.

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  54. What happens when the person a sociopath devalues ends up being more successful than the sociopath? Or at least has risen to the same level and threatens to surpass? How does the sociopath feel/think/do about that?

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  55. Aerianne,

    I think he meant he needed a woman who kept him at bay and someone who played hard to get. But to tell you the truth I'm not sure what the hell he meant. He said this in the break up message..not to my face. I never got a chance to get clearity when we broke up. He did it through an email. When I asked him to meet me in person to talk he said ok but then didn't show up. CHICKEN!!


    Grace

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  56. What happens when the sociopath's girlfriend, who has become everything he wants her to be, gets what she wants out of him and finishes school?

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  57. Will the relationship change when she finishes school and gets a job?

    How are you with change?

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  58. I don't know why people are assuming that UKan's girlfriend will have a change of feelings toward their relationship after she completes school.
    Anon, you could state your question as "what would happen" instead of as "what will happen" like it's a definite or a given.
    I don't see a reason why her completing school would have to change the way she feels about the dynamics she prefers in a relationship she enjoys.

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  59. Anon

    She's probably loyal. What I wonder is if UK will stay with her long enough to get her through it.

    My ex wanted me to do well in school and that's the one thing he was consistent and supportive with everyday. Strange.

    Grace

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  60. How did my question get all usurped and fanangled.

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  61. Something got usurped and finagled, here??? I'm shocked :o

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  62. To answer medusa, I don't devalue her. If she becomes more successful than me, then I can only be happier, because we will have even more money. That's the point of her going to school.
    To answer wish I knew: What would change about her finishing school?

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  63. It jsut the whole idea of change I was wondering bout

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  64. Infact I don't think she will change because I see her loyalty to you in what you've said about her submissiveness. That takes alot of trust.
    I was wondering how you handle major changes.

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  65. UKan, I wasn't asking about your current relationship in particular.

    It was a hypothetical question about if there was someone you did devalue and discard.

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  66. I would imagine they would leave them the minute they get up their self esteem.
    I handle changes well. My life is constantly changing.

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  67. Yes but the question is of the effect on the socio.

    Pissed? Challenged? Re-valuation? Or couldn't give a shit?

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  68. I drive fast and don't break eye contact.

    Signed ,
    Empath

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  69. "After the sociopath has collected all of this information, he can use it in various ways".

    i'm really smart.

    "He can use it to better construct his own masks to stay hidden."

    you better watch out for me.

    "He can use it to anticipate your every need and desire."

    I can see who you are.

    "Or he can use it to get into your mind and plant yet another type of mine."

    and i can hurt you!

    "That's the mining that you really should be worried about, and the only way that the sociopath can set traps in your mind is if you have weaknesses or needs that you refuse to address yourself.

    you better watch out when youre around me!


    "Apart from that, datamining of any type is relatively harmless."

    but im not going to hurt you.

    "It's basically just catering to your expectations. "

    i just want to be friends...

    ReplyDelete
  70. Datamining is something I especially like to do. Learning what makes a person tick is incredibly interesting, no matter who the person is. However, the data you can mine out depends largerly on the person, and that is one of the biggest criteria for myself to continue a relationship, platonic or romantic.
    However, once I feel all the data has been mined out, the person becomes very uninteresting, even bland, and I usually withdraw myself from those persons that I've mined out to see if they develop further. Sadly, most don't, even one bit, which leaves me to discard them from my social circle.
    I might get in touch with those people I've discarded years later, but usually just to find that those people have not really developed at all.
    Once you've datamined enough people, discarded them and moved on to others, you begin to see patterns that ultimately repeat themselves. Initially interesting, but it gets old really fast and you begin to think if people really are that different from each other and you begin to question yourself: what's the point when you can see the patterns and outcomes outright?

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    Replies
    1. "Datamining is something I especially like to do."

      hey youre just like me!

      "Learning what makes a person tick is incredibly interesting, no matter who the person is."

      we're so cool.

      "However, the data you can mine out depends largerly on the person, and that is one of the biggest criteria for myself to continue a relationship, platonic or romantic."

      "However, the data you can mine out depends largerly on the person, and that is one of the biggest criteria for myself to continue a relationship, platonic or romantic."

      i tell myself im really picky when it comes to people.

      "However, once I feel all the data has been mined out, the person becomes very uninteresting, even bland, and I usually withdraw myself from those persons that I've mined out to see if they develop further. "

      but i really just get scared when i get too close, so i stop talking to them and hope theyll chase after me.

      "Sadly, most don't, even one bit, which leaves me to discard them from my social circle."

      but they never do.

      "I might get in touch with those people I've discarded years later, but usually just to find that those people have not really developed at all."

      once i tried to contact this person i used to be really close with... but they didnt like me anymore.

      "Once you've datamined enough people, discarded them and moved on to others, you begin to see patterns that ultimately repeat themselves. "

      this happens all the time.

      "Initially interesting, but it gets old really fast and you begin to think if people really are that different from each other and you begin to question yourself: what's the point when you can see the patterns and outcomes outright?"

      i didnt care at first but now its starting to hurt me. i just want to give up.

      Delete
  71. summary

    there are 2 kinds of people those who r dominant and those who r submissive

    submissive in this context does not mean meek or slave like it means most people want to have somebody to lead and tell them what to do most people r submissive

    what makes it weakness is a person who is submissive and who thinks other wise- like most people do this day & age

    happy person recognize and accept who they really r

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    Replies
    1. i can accept that im naturally submissive but ill never stop trying to depose anyone that is leading me, even if i recognize its for my own good. i guess ill never be happy.

      Delete
    2. a far greater concern (in my book), RK, is that there are too many people who are dominant by nature who do not possess the cognitive skills to make long term decisions. Why? On a certain level they understand that they are not so bright, and demand submission to soothe their own insecurities. These individuals make life a living hell for gentle people who think.

      Delete
  72. Sociopaths. when sucessfully pulling off a scam, look like "the cat that
    swolled the canary."
    When a Florida mobster was informed of the sucessful "hit" on J.F.K.,
    that is how he looked.

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  73. Isn't it noticeable that history likes to repeat itself, because the same characteristics in people lead to the same "inadverent" results, as generations clash with each other?
    Enough of my ramblings. Back to shaping the future with my faulty understanding the ontological ramifications.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hate correcting myself, but find it necessary.
      Back to shaping the future with my faulty understanding of the ontological ramifications.

      Delete
  74. I have 5 guys text before I wake up I then see who has money. Who's gonna give me a ride ect, ect, ect.... One of them actually told me I can't manipulate him today..... Well the adios motherfucker of course I didnt say that I said I can't believe he would think so little of me and how much that hurts and if he feels like that then maybe we shouldn't talk.... I guarantee I manipulate him tmrw or the next day (; rape that boys pockets

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    Replies
    1. agreed unburdened, biotch. ^^ don't bleepin stoop so low of yrself by using five men in the process. i don't care what diagnose (personality trait) that tags someone through life. have some fuckin respect for yrself and others for being human.i hope these 5 men see right through you and say adios to you.

      Delete
  75. They don't... I just think differently from you. I have enough self respect to know that its alright for each one of these men to have 5 women. They don't get ridiculed... I think I have more self respect than most women. I don't have such low self respect that I stay in a relationship I don't enjoy day after day allowing someone to bitch at me and I'm not the faithful girl thats waiting on him to return home while he does his dirt.... In which case I can honestly say if I we're getting something out of it it might be ok however once the chase is over men start to slack in keeping you happy. What constitutes your definition of self respect. I certainly respect myself, and don't give others the oppurtunity to disrespect me. I don't have a diagnosis to add.... I'm not empathetic nor sociopathic. I'm just obviously smarter than you.

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  76. I just don't allow people to waste my time. I respect myself enough to know my time is valuable. "Bitch" is an accurate diagnosis. I would rather it be "Bitch" than "Dumbass". I do these guys a favor. I'm not like other women and obviously this is what they appreciate and it's what keeps them interested. I don't call and bother them if they don't call me... I don't have to be kept. I'm not helpless if they don't have it I move onto the next and thats what they enjoy. It's not my problem what you think of me. It's a pity I can't explain it to you because I'm not married have a 3 kids and sit at home on my thumbs waiting for the scraps my husband throws me after he gets home from the strip club where hes spent money on another bitch because men are hunters and if you think any differently I feel sorry for you. Obviously we're different so let's agree to disagree.

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  77. And while I can't say I feel bad about calling him a dumbass because I keep him satisfied I feel I'am owed something in exchange for that because I don't get what they do outta the relationship. I hope that gives you a good view from my side. It's not like I can help it. If I felt for them what they did for me that would be benefit. Since I don't it aggrivated me that I'm expected too and if I cannot that people feel like I'm lying to them and infact I think the word self respect is an oxymoron. A concept they made up. If I'm doing what I believe to be right than I'm respecting myself, but since I'm not doing what the majority of women do I don't have self respect. Wrong I respect myself just fine. Its actually that you believe I just don't have any respect for others and that angers you. If I sleep with a man and I wake up and hes like "Sooooo I got like a bunch if errands and he hasn't took me out to eat, given me money or kept me in cigarettes than that is actually having no self respect. I could never do that because I wouldn't even enjoy his company. It's actually a burden.... However you might like this guy so much you may be willing to do this. So you believe this is normal. So worry about your self respect and I have now been deemed



    -bitch

    ReplyDelete

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    ReplyDelete

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