Thursday, November 7, 2013

How a psychopath is made

As a follow-up to its stories on Colonel Russell Williams, The Globe and Mail investigates "How a Psychopath is Made." There are the usual suspects trotted out to give their two cents, and these interesting insights into how sociopaths grow from child to adult.
The theory is that neglect, abuse and early trauma somehow desensitize children to the feelings of others, says Dr. Kiehl, but it still has not been proven. Not all psychopaths had horrible childhoods. Some come from stable families. Millions of children are abused he says, but don't become psychopaths.

In one of her studies, Dr. Gao found that children who lived apart from their parents in the first three years of life were more likely to have psychopathic personalities. This suggests that failure to bond may play a role, she says. She also found that adults who reported they were neglected by their mothers when they were children were also more likely to have difficulty with empathy, and other psychopathic traits.

But every child showing signs of callousness and fearlessness isn't a psychopath in the making – although it certainly increases the odds. It is rare for people to become callous and unfeeling as adults if they began life as caring, empathetic children, says Paul Frick, a psychologist at the University of New Orleans, who studies anti-social behaviour and develops therapies for anti-social children. These troubled kids learn to conform quickly, often even fooling researchers by posing as model citizens until the end of the day, when, denied a reward, they become nasty intimidators even with adults.

But one study that followed 12-year-olds with these traits into adulthood found that only about 20 per cent met the measurement for psychopathy. Genes may lay the foundation, but environment builds upon it. A fearless child with callous traits who lives in a stable, supportive home with a parents that can afford to send him skiing as an outlet for his risk-taking has better outcomes than one raised in a poor family where the parents have few resources.

In the past, it was argued that psychopaths could not be treated – therapy sessions appeared to have no impact on their recidivism rates, and they often emerged having learned new skills about human nature that made them better manipulators. Some new research, however, has shown progress in teaching empathy to young children, as well as the benefits of very intense therapy for adult criminals.
It's interesting thinking what might trigger sociopath genes in an otherwise relatively normal child. Yes, abuse or severe neglect, but they are neither necessary nor sufficient. I've already talked about some of the banal details of my childhood that may have triggered a predisposition to sociopathic traits, including possibly a particularly serious case of colic. Perhaps the colic interfered with normal maternal bonding, perhaps I sensed a more urgent need to compete for resources than normal people, but I understand how these explanations might fail to be convincing.

People always think there are going to be graphic, horror stories from my childhood, but there just aren't. I can imagine how frustrating that might be to those looking for an easy explanation, but disturbed or disordered people often have surprisingly normal backgrounds. For instance, when asked to discuss his own past, Col. Williams, perhaps anticipating the disappointment that his answers might elicit, responded almost apologetically, “it will be very boring.”


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156 comments:

  1. I may have had the cliche p/s upbringing- low income, bipolar mother ranging from neglectful to overbearing, absentee father, molestation, etc. I've met my father who is a picture of NPD, which seems to be a disorder on the same branch of the tree as ASPD. As my childhood progressed, we moved from lower-class to middle-class and my mother leveled out slightly, but I was already called "cyborg" because I never cried. Of course, eventually I learned to behave more appropriately. :)

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    1. This is orchestratated. Black ops culture wide by gods helpers ...nuts with drugs acting out their moral failures by striking down the children of ww2 winners

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  2. I was wondering about this the other day actually. While at this point I wouldn't label myself as anything, abuse and neglect was one main aspect of my childhood which has lead to a desensitization to many things present and might explain the bouts of occasional rage and inability to connect with people on an emotional level; not out of any sort of fear, but simply because I don't know how to(interestingly, a commonality on my father's side of the family).

    On the other hand, no committed felonies or indiscretions to speak of, unless you include emotional bullying and infidelity of which reminiscence entails no feelings of "remorse" or "guilt" in the classical sense.

    Admittedly, it's one of the reasons I found this blog, though the label really isn't all that attractive to me because of its foundations in institutionalized mental health-care for which my skepticism runs deep.

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  3. If you're reading this M.E., look up "CS Hyatt - The Psychopath's Bible"
    You should be able to read it on scribd. It's a book purportedly for psychopaths, by a psychopath

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  4. @Anon

    I got bored at page 45.

    What is it that you thought was so interesting?

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    1. The doc said I was a sociopath how do I know he is for real b.

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  5. Cliché upbringing here, too. Low income, broken (but fairly stable) family. Overbearing/absent mother, alcoholic father in and out of rehab (which finally stuck a few years ago). Never abused (depending on your perspective) by my parents, but definite psychological abuse at the hands of some of my father's ex-girlfriends. If the research is to be believed, I have all the makings of a serial killer.~

    ME's mention of colic made me think about the early life health issues I've had. All that comes to mind is when I became extremely dehydrated at 2 or 3 and had to be taken to the hospital with a 104 degree fever. Perhaps I boiled my brain.~

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    1. psykopath-I-logicalNovember 7, 2013 at 4:15 AM

      I too had some mysterious illness as a kid, had to have fans cooling me down, even now can recall some of the delirium-nearly died it seems, maybe my brain got boiled too!

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    2. I also had fever-induced delirium at some point in my childhood...and my memory of the hallucinations are still pretty clear after around 32 years now.

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  6. Anonymous about Hyatt's book: I saw Phil Hine and Peter Carroll commenting on the back cover and stopped right there. This is not a book about something interesting, it's a masturbatory "chaos magick" fantasy. Hell, I almost stopped when I saw the word "extreme" on the cover.

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  7. True, the book sucks. It's a bunch of nonsense. Obviously the guy doesn't know what he is talking about, it's only what he heard and thought it might be interesting. He's like a satanic fanatic making magic in the attic. Blows.

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  8. I had already given this subject some independent thought a while back. It was much like a VR session in my imagination exploring the realm of possibilities. I kept dead-ending at a Tiger Woods-like result lol. I am not labeling him as (anything), I just cannot seem to rule out the necessity for a mask at some point or another no matter how kind life is even when said kindness is constructed to cater toward anti-developement slightly. Then again, what the hell do I know?

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  9. On the topic of childhood illness, I had scarlet fever. Maybe I cooked my brain too.

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    1. I just commented above on this. ..thats what I had as a kid and was delirious and hallucinating. Interesting. But I ran away from home before this and one other act before this, sister died when i was 6, mom
      died age 9, dad at 16, abused, the whole bag of horrors. That was important to me for a while.

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  10. Went from low income to high income, back to low income via the bankruptcy road. Father was diagnosed as bipolar until recently where they diagnosed him with ASPD, older brother has autism, mother and brother are suspected empaths, never got abused sexually was beaten a couple of times.
    I did have glandular fever when I was young and it almost killed me twice due to a near liver failure, or so I am told.

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  11. i cant even be bothered arguing with you people. go back to trying to suck your own dicks.

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    1. On ones back head towards the neck of the floor and base of bowl legs up over under the bowel style or freeform sucker ?

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  12. Had a bit of an odd up-bringing myself. Mother took me and disappeared for a few years after I was born, and apparently my grandma on her side was raising me until my father found me. He took me away and I lived with him since (around three years old). He had low in-come, but was a tennis pro, and therefore, we were always around luxury that was out of reach. I had to play the part though, of someone who was privileged, and act accordingly. We moved around a lot, especially during summer and fall.

    When I was ten, my mum tried to kidnap me, so my father and I took off, and spent the next three years moving from state to state, doing tennis gig after tennis gig and evading the FBI due to custody breach or something along those lines. I had all sorts of names that I used. I don't think I used my real name until part-way through junior high when the legal business was settled.

    Pops also had PTSD, from something. He never talked about it, not even all these years later.

    I had to learn to quickly adapt to completely new settings, make friends and drop friends on a dime, and be who I wasn't for so long that I didn't even know who I was supposed to be.

    I guess there is the remote chance that I was born with this, but my upbringing definitely intensified it. From living all over the States, I have an uncanny knack for accents too.

    I only remember the name and face of one childhood friend, and for a sordid reason at that.

    I think I need a cig, now...

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    1. im listening, k im like an emotional super-empath pathetic emotional train wreck,lol, this touched my ....well ya know. :)

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    2. i loved tennis growing up, i can still hear the balls, pow, pow. god i love that sound. i saved all my money to get me the best rackets.

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  13. I can't even imagine what you've been through. do you realize that you we're come through an ordeal that would have crushed a lesser person? I love to read your posts, there insightful and really see the logic in what you have to say. No pretence.
    your much more then them and your unique. I would be interested inknowing what you've done with the knowledge and strength that you show after what you've been subjected to.

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  14. @this I know:
    Assuming that comment was directed at me, thank you.

    My father has a lot to do with the way I am today. For better and for worse. He is a man of immense pride, destructive pride, and I had to actually pull us out of his holes a few times when I was still a child. I'm not incapable of pride, but am often annoyed by it, even when I feel it. It makes me involuntarily humble in a lot of situations.

    I didn't realize there was anything wrong with me for ages, and sincerely thought I was just a normal person who simply hadn't learned how to act accordingly, and taught myself using a mirror or on strangers, and watching countless movies/tv/reading books. When I saw "The Talented Mr. Ripley" a while back, I did a double take. It was like looking back into my past. I was this lowbrow child of 'the help', spending time with trust-fund children and trying to be like them and fit in. Of course, I never murdered them and tried to steal their identities, but I'm remarking on the character's attempt at being a chameleon. I honestly didn't think there was anything bizarre about it until listening to the interviews from the cast on the character of Tom Ripley. After that, I looked into this little thing called a Sociopath...

    I looked back on past relationships with lovers, especially an ex-fiancée. I was never capable of putting them ahead of me. If this is some sort of involuntary thing that people with the normal array of emotions is capable of, I'm afraid I'm not. I tried to put her above me, made a conscious effort, but I was actually doing it to make me feel like I was doing what I was supposed to do. Don't get me wrong, I adored spending time with woman (usually), I just never had this 'connect' with her that I'm apparently supposed to.

    I almost always look at situations with analysis and logic. I'm always doing this. I'm constantly calculating and simulating situations in my head, non-stop, 24/7. I can't turn it off, and it rarely if ever exhausts me. If I came on this blog and spouted all the wicked acts that I have done and gotten off on, what have I contributed? How am I helping the Sociopath community in any capacity? It sure is tempting to share 'war stories', but I feel it would diminish and denigrate what I'm trying to do, purely for self indulgence to a crowd of the faceless.

    In the same way that we look at people from a detached, analytical point of view, I feel the same should be possible for an empath to view sociopaths. We're our own little brand in the human genus, with our own specialized attributes and outlooks. If I can help people understand them from a scientific and analytical perspective as opposed to a knee-jerk reaction to the sordid monologues that go through our heads sometimes, then I think I've helped in some capacity.

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    1. well said, don't change. empaths can co-exists with reasoned and logical minds just like you. funny thing is, do you realize, that you do care. fuck the neurotypical standard of societies and the critics. be you. thats all you were meant to be. ;)

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  15. As far as what I do with what I am and know, well, I help people with advice most of the time. I'm a horrible lazy bastard in a completely one-sided way. If you want me to come across the street and help move your couch, I probably wouldn't give a darn. If you knocked on my door at 2:00 in the morning, telling me your boyfriend had just left you, or something happened to your parents, or any other sort of such predicament, I'd probably warm you up a kettle and talk with you for a few hours, working through it and telling you exactly what you needed to hear and give you advice accordingly, not some guru babble-talk irrational nonsense that sounds like it came from a dollar store self help book.

    I know people very well, and they are the most intriguing and entertaining part of my life, bar none. It doesn't make me selfless in what I do, but then again, if I am helping you out, why does it need to be? I don't charge by the hour, and I'm usually the one buying you the pint, not the other way around.

    I feel as if our society puts empathy on this magical pedastal, and if you do not possess it, your actions are somehow denigrated, or even outright nullified. I find this very unfair, borderline criminal, actually.

    I've said it before, I'm no saint. I've just had the luck so to say of tasting human gratitude more than human flesh (suffering), and have grown a taste for it accordingly.

    Just remember, there's more than one item on the menu, and sometimes I change it up for a moment and revel in things I should probably be ashamed of. It isn't an excuse, it's an explanation and caveat.

    I wish if could tell you that deep down, I'm this genuine, wholesome person that overcame adversity and is spreading the good word of loving life for all to see. Maybe I try, but it isn't coming from some magical Empathy world inhabited by emotion faeries and beautiful virgins without a care in the world. It's more like trying to get a love letter to the woman you know id cheating on you while you're dug in a trench on the Western Front, smoking your last cigarette while watching your friends around you die from dysentery and exposure.

    It may be disillusioned and downright foolish, but it's the only time I'm allowed to be, for the sake of self-preservation of my own sanity. I refuse to be some cookie-cutter abusive monster simply because I am capable of it.

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    1. ok get the kettle on, get the different items on the menu. spice it up a little. im hungry. lol. and im listening, and its 2:44 am. i am 44 minutes late ;) i think this blog has helped me get out of a difficult situation. i do anything to be in a non-empaths world righta bout now. And not feel all these bleepin useless emotions that wont get me anywhere but laughed at. i need logical mind to kick in. help! i must sleep, but i drank so much coffee, it might be an all-nighter for me, so what the hell get the kettle on. you make sence to me. but then again, id do anything to think reasoned, controlled. im on the flippy side. it aint a bed of roses, id say thorns.

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  16. I am a stereotype. My entire childhood was violent. My mum always told me I was constantly thinking and acting violently. I was arrested numerous times as a juveneille. I spent more time in prison as a adult. I'm sure you can fill in the blanks as to how you can become desensitised and I think most people that I hang around are. The way a lot of them act can be mistaken as sociopathic, but its more like learned behaviour.

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  17. My 5 year old nephew had breathing problems when he was born. Was pumped with large amounts of antibiotics. He now has severe allergies and still has steroid treatments for his lungs. I think his frail health is a result of the antibiotic treatment more so than the lung problem he had when he was born.

    I believe that combination of my family's genes and such a manner of birth has definitely made him different. Extremely brilliant, definitely on the autism spectrum, and his psychologist says a good amount of OCD, and a strange relationship to kids his own age compared to his relationships with adults.

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  18. My mother was emotionally absent and physically abusive when I was growing up, my father emotionally mysterious. I have no resentment, though, as I love and respect them both dearly.

    I used to see myself as an HSP; not so much anymore.

    I think there is more of a relationship to sensitivity and it's opposite than is apparent on a surface level. In many ways they are the same, it's only the response that is different.

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  19. @Medusa: Ugh, emotionally mysterious father? You and me, both! Ha. The few times I saw my mother growing up, it seemed more like I was an annoyance to her to deal with. She never hit me but she had a bf for a while that yelled at me, a lot. I don't know if he ever hurt me, but he sure made me scared and feel useless.

    This whole respect business, I can't really level with you there. I think it is profound that my father pulled off all that he could for us, but know it was hardly selfless. But then, should I think ill of him not being so? I'm not selfless either, yet here I am taking care of him as he ages and is dying.

    Selfish is such a bad word. I don't think it should be.

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  20. suckers posted their whole insignificant life on the blog. lol.

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  21. you call yourself socios? waiting for the next post to rub yourselves to eachother once more. this makes me sick.

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  22. Why are you here Fred?

    And how many times do I have to ask people who here they have seen call themselves a sociopath?

    Christ.

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  23. And hello, this is like any other blog or forum where the regulars get to know each other over a period of time (in a limited internet sense) and yes, form a little bit of camaraderie. Nothing to do with being a sociopath or not.

    Why I keep feeding these trolls, I don't know. I guess I'm just hoping one of them has something new to say.

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  24. well, your friend there calls him a "notablepath". i believe that is a euphemism for sociopath, and he is not the only one. don't tell me you've seen nobody who calls himself a sociopath around here. i bet you think you're a smart gal. i've met your kind. you like forming bonds, i wonder why you choose this place to form bonds? is it cause you have some daddy issues that you need take on by abiding to what you perceive as callousness or authority? Guess that's why you keep "feeding" these trolls.

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  25. @Fred: The topic of this blog was how psychopaths/sociopaths are formed or triggered. We're contributing to the topic, as appropriate. Or, did you simply just skip to the comment section?

    I talked to my old man a few hours ago, he said that when I was quite young, I had a fairly bad fever once and had to go to the hospital. I wonder if this whole 'fried brain' issue is simply a common denominator, or a total red herring.

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  26. i also wonder how many children who had fever when they were young became priests. it would be nice to know, just for the record.

    yeah, i read the post but still find yours useless. and even more useless is that medusa chick rubbing so gently against you with that "protect me" kind of style. oh and yeah... notablepath... what did you hope to achieve by telling her the rest of the boring story?

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  27. Fred's a little wunderkind, isn't he?~

    My only piece of advice is that if you're going to just leap to ad hominem, you should make your attacks a bit more personal and invasive. Vague proclamations about regulars' weaknesses are sort of a bore. Put yourself a cut above the usual Anonymous rabble. You gave yourself a name, Fred... make sure they god damn remember it.

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  28. My father is far from callous and I wouldn't trade him for another father for all the money in the world. Him and I never had a problem.

    Nice try, iFreud.

    Rubbing up against who? And where?

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  29. oh, now you're getting all defensive on me. no wonder i thought there was something there. so what did he do? did he cheat on your mom and never got the chance to see you around playing with your stupid toys? why do you crave so much attention? don't worry, it's not like all of your friends know. did your mom do drugs while you grew up?
    what's your issue girl? i know it's eating you from the inside. you just convinced yourself never to talk about it cause it might show how weak you are. are you fat? it that it? are you obese? is that why you don't succeed getting attention in the real world? or are you just ugly? is that why they call you medusa? do people freeze when they look at you? why don't you post a picture of yourself so we can all see that i'm wrong.

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  30. Closer, Fred. Still a little heavy-handed, but you're getting there. The scattershot method serves you fairly well, at least. If you throw enough uncomfortable maybe-truths at them, one of them should stick.

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  31. In answer to you questions, Fred, as they are all good ones:

    Nothing egregious.

    Nope.

    I'm a narcissist who likes to write and has something to say.

    Nope. She drinks one margarita every 3 years or so, has never even seen a illicit drug in her life.

    Right now, you.

    Nope.

    Nope.

    Not even close.

    Oh, I get plenty.

    Not according to 99% of people.

    Actually, yes. It was one of my childhood nicknames.

    Sometimes they do, yes.

    Either you're a sad internet sexual predator, or you think I'm dumb enough to post a photo here.

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  32. @ Postmodern Sociopath: Dude, i'd rather not answer to your comments cause i'm not just trying to insult her. I'm talking to her. She already felt insulted by that thing with her father, otherwise she wouldn't have gotten defensive on it. It states that there is something going on with her father. Maybe it's just that she secretly doesn't like him. Maybe he is an ugly fag who embarrassed her when she went to school. Maybe some of her friends made fun of him of what a fat tub of lard he is. "My dad is great, i love him no matter what". That means there is something there that she wouldn't love him for. C'mon, i want to know what makes you tick medusa. please tell us.

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  33. You are sooo far off, Fred, though I appreciate your eagerness, effort, and passion.

    I see you are trying to paint me as the typical low self-esteem "victim" type.

    Next you'll be telling me I have Stockholm Syndrome.

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  34. Don't defend yourself to me, Right Said Fred. It's unbecoming.~ I'm not suggesting you should insult anyone, I'm just giving you pointers to get the reaction you're after. I generally prefer Medusa to the flash-in-the-pan posters, but I'm just drunk enough to be entertained by your antics. Carry on.~

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  35. @Medusa: Bork de bork de bork bork, if you catch my drift.~

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  36. Fred, this is at least the third time I've had this conversation with you, under at least as many usernames.

    Third time's acharm, right? You'd think so, but it's the same schtick over and over again.

    Do you not learn? Where's your creativity?

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  37. Speaking of muppets, this is fucking awesome. If you like Ricky Gervais.

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  38. Alright medusa, i give up. I will stop trying to probe you for something you might say so i could turn against you. i'm sorry.

    sorry postmodern, unless you have something to add, medusa is free to roam the web.

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  39. @Medusa: I think "Do you know what necrophilia is?" is what made it for me.

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  40. you got me wrong. this is the first time i ever talked to you. if i have had been talking to you before then i would probably know more about you don't you think?

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  41. Fred, now I see you being creative. But you are too obviously disingenuous.

    PMS (sorry, "PS" is PostScript and "PM" is...well, nighttime), I'm amused they even released these outtakes to the public.

    Sesame Street is getting pretty sassy lately, what with Katy Perry's boobs and all that.

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  42. I had heard they were changing the name of the show to just "The Street" or something like that. I guess Oscar the Grouch's existential angst just doesn't cut it with the edgier 1-8 demographic, anymore.~

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  43. lol disingenuous? i meant every thing i said. this is why i can't crack you open, i can't see your reactions. it's easy to look unbreakable in writing.

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  44. It's easy to look unbreakable in real life, too.

    PMS, that's too bad. The cool thing about the existence of the Grouch is it taught tolerance and acceptance of, well, sociopathic types.

    But this is interesting (wikipedia):

    According to Sesame Street Robert W. Morrow, Oscar was created to indirectly demonstrate racial and ethnic diversity. Since his manners and tastes were different than the other characters, his creators hoped to treat social issues by using his differences as a analogy to racial and ethnic differences. Some black viewers, however, saw Oscar as a "surrogate for poor, urban Americans" during the show's early seasons.

    Doesn't make much sense, but hey, it was the 60s.

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  45. I watch two episodes of 'The IT Crowd' and I missed all of this?

    Critiquing a troll... Good times, Postmodern Sociopath.

    I'd like to add, doing a cold read on someone isn't terribly effective online, though. It's a complete hit or miss, with the exception that you got Medusa to validate / invalidate your theories, and thus, she exposed certain apparent factors as to her person. I'd like to think this was intentional, but judging by your previous loathsome attempt at trolling, I'd wager that it wasn't, and you simply lucked out.

    In my opinion, you should have attacked her on the issue of her mother for effect, I mean come on, that was a dead giveaway as far as an open wound goes, but you went after pops instead, probably because you were more interested in what wasn't said than what was. Amateur troll move right there. You either probe for information, or go for the jugular, not a half-assed attempt at both unless you're keen enough to pull it off (which you clearly aren't).

    And giving up, followed by 'sorry'? I'm barely conscious after smoking near half a pack and the laughter near woke me up.

    @Medusa: The necrophilia thing had me in stitches. I actually knew a necrophiliac. He was a good drinking buddy. Needed a few brews in him to warm up, though.~

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  46. I just stumped onto this.
    "My mother was emotionally absent and physically abusive when I was growing up, my father emotionally mysterious. I have no resentment, though, as I love and respect them both dearly.

    I used to see myself as an HSP; not so much anymore.

    I think there is more of a relationship to sensitivity and it's opposite than is apparent on a surface level. In many ways they are the same, it's only the response that is different."


    lying bitch.there are issues with your father whether you would like to admit it or not. so how emotionally mysterious was he? did he touch you in inappropriate places? I bet they were both sick of you, that's why they didn't give you any attention. physically abusive mother? that's got to leave some scars. why would you still love them? i clinged rightfully on that aspect didn't i? you were abused by your parents. how can you live on just like that?

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  47. I know very well he's getting a lot of information from me. I don't much care, though. I could be lying about everything, how would you know?

    Anyway, to keep the game going:

    Emotionally mysterious, meaning I never knew what his inner life was all about. He wasn't prone to great displays of emotion. I'd think most people can say this about their fathers, though, unless their fathers were born after 1990 or so.

    No he never touched me. Good christ. The thought of that has never before crossed my mind until now. Thanks for that little gift. :'( Oh look, you got me!

    Why do I still love them? I don't hold grudges. That shit was a long long time ago and many things have changed over the years.

    Next?

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  48. c'mon... is that it ? won't you defend yourself ? are you somewhat ... hurt ? or was it that i called you a bitch ? don't cry, it would make my heart melt.

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  49. Damn... and he was so promising, too.~ Well, another troll falls flat. I suppose there's nothing to do now but go sleep off the vodka. Learn some subtlety in the meantime, Fred. Bork bork, Medusa.

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  50. yeah, emotionally mysterious. that must've made you feel abandoned a bit. i don't see you making an excuse for your mother abusing you. guess that must've hurt.

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  51. Are you reloading the page every 1.5 seconds or something? Waiting with bated breath my reply? "I'll get her this time! By George I will!"

    Though at times it may seem like it, this blog is not an instant messenger or a chat room. I actually doing other things as well right now.

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  52. well you seem to keep the pace. i would like to hear more about how your mother abused you if that's possible...

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  53. Why should I make an excuse for my mother? I don't need one, and neither does she. Even though she does have a pretty fucking good one if she was ever the type to lean on excuses.

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  54. @Fred: You don't understand why someone would love their parents when they were abused by them? You clearly don't know people very well...

    I understand the logic of your query, but when it comes to the emotional bond formed between a child and their parents, virtually nothing can completely sever it unless, you're like one of us, I guess, but then, there wasn't much of a bond to begin with.

    More troll-school here, I'm afraid. Insisting on something that has a possibility of not being true is sure to backfire, and denigrate your aim of attack, even if you had a valid point of assault, as what is erroneous stands out more than what is true. Unless of course your only goal is to irritate the person with false accusations, which if so, you're doing a decent job, even for a novice.

    However, if you want to strike a nerve with 'Daddy', molestation comments, talking about where he touched you is too common. Hinting that he did something to her that she mutually enjoyed would be more damaging, because it would imply that she wasn't only a victim, but that there was the potential for indulgence in acts of incest. Even if it is complete horse poky, you're 'crowd' now has the image of her doing nasty things to her pops, something they won't be able to unsee, regardless of the truth of the matter.

    I'm not trying to give him ammo against you Medusa, so much as I am bored by low level trolls trying to make their mark with sociopaths. It's morbidly entertaining, akin to a chihuahua trying to ankle-bite a mastiff.

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  55. Naw TNP. If I wasn't enjoying myself, I'd be watching Saturday Night Live or some shit instead. Make the challenge harder, good for everyone, and more fun. I invite it.

    Fred, you reveal more about yourself than about me with your questions.

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  56. Yeah, this is very educational for me. I never tried to harm someone emotionally on the web before. But i have to say, it'll help me in real life also. Not that i pick fights with someone that i don't have definite control over and risk getting my ass kicked by a boyfriend or something like that.
    It's been educational in that that i don't feel bad or something for doing this. Probing her to see if i reach something. I don't empathise with no one, i just see reactions. Maybe i didn't probe her well enough as you might say, but i made a pike and stuck it as deep as i could. I would've loved to see something like a squeak or something so that i might understand how it feels like.
    I tried to do this in real life with a maid my parents hired and still no answer, except i felt joy when i saw her affected. I don't know about medusa, for all i know now she is just another stupid bitch. I feel bad for not being able to touch her somehow.

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  57. I had no emotional response to your questions except amusement and the occasional laugh. I didn't "feel" anything in particular, nothing more than what I'd feel playing a game of checkers.

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  58. yeah, same for me. i laughed a couple of times at your responses. i wonder if it's the same in real life. i know it's harder for me to really bond with someone than in writing. i only see other people as aliens that i have to probe to get an answer. it's like being tossed in a whirlwind, with everything happening so fast around me. i am 20 and i come from a recent brainwash from drugs so i don't remember much of my childhood and reality is so new to me. the main issue seems to be that i don't seem to enter any real conversation in real world or have a response to other people's interactions with me unless i deliberately plan it and act it.

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  60. You smell post-menstrual syndrome ? ;))

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  61. lol @ fred

    why don't we swap details, we can meet up and i'll buy you an ice-cream. no conversation required.

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  62. Fred it seems you have more "feeling" than we do. When I say that I mean motivation to do.

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  63. @ anon: what the fuck is that supposed to mean ?

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  64. okay fred, this one's for you.

    i come from a family of narcissistic, obsessive-compulsive, intellectual types. i had an emotionally distant father and dominant mother. we were a fussy family of self-absored individuals, and very poor communicators.

    i was a skinny baby that cried endlessly and refused to eat. my parents suspected colic. when i was older, i would scream endlessly the minute they plopped me down in a playpen. i guess it could have been colic, as butter and cream still don't sit well with me, but i really think it was the boredom of lying there week after week, unable to talk or move, alternately being force fed and wiped down.

    when i was a toddler, i watched the nanny break a jar of jam and scoop the jam off the floor and into a new jar. she was young and maybe it was very expensive jam, or she was terrified of my mother, or both, but whichever the case, it was clear to me she wasn't about to tell anyone what happened to that jam. i still remember sitting there and thinking it was wrong what she did, and that i'd have to tell my parents or we'd all be eating that jam with bits of glass maybe in it. but also feeling that i'd never be able to make them understand me, and with that a familiar feeling of great frustration. i'm not sure how old i was but i remember being restrained in a chair and not being able to move around freely, and also not being able to talk clearly, that they didn't always understand what i was trying to say.

    when my mother came home later, i kept repeating that the nanny broke the jam, over and over again, and eventually she got it. she said she could see i was worked up over something, and that i just sat there saying the same thing over and over again, and wouldn't stop.

    for me, the feeling of frustration at not being understood started very early in life, and possibly came from having too much awareness too soon, and feeling trapped unable to communicate my thoughts and feelings. it's possible that with a different family environment the feeling of frustration may not have been as intense.

    so, i wonder if my chameleon skills came from that need to make myself understood? you can't after all, as an adult, go around repeating the same thing and again until you're understood (tempting as it is at times).

    very aware babies and children may have a greater need for communication and stimulation than other children. i wonder if it's having parents that can't provide that which creates problems for the kids, regardless of the problems the parents themselves have?

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  65. yeah, ok, but what does this have to do with me?

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  66. rather antisocial, but yeah, narcissistic also.

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  67. It means, Fred, I would wish to borrow your motivation for just one day. To see it, to know it, to use it.

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  68. I have known people who didn't like how they were/are treated by their parents, and yet they treat people exactly the same way.
    It's like they haven't got the balls to stand up to their parents, so they get their revenge by abusing others.

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  69. What is it with people who when you give them your opinion about something, a few days later they will tell you the same thing?
    It's like they have made it their own.
    They do it with books also, they read something then make it into part of their lives.

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  70. Karma, I thought all men did that, with the advice I give them, anyway.

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  71. Karma, what you describe is often called learning and being open-minded.

    Though people without opinions of their own do this at times to raise themselves up in the eyes of others....

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  72. Medusa said

    Karma, what you describe is often called learning and being open-minded.

    Though people without opinions of their own do this at times to raise themselves up in the eyes of others....

    I realise that, but it just doesn't seem like it is either one.

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  73. Well, I don't know what it is you are referring to.

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  74. When you tell someone something and then they turn around at some later date and are telling you the same thing, but in an "educational" tone. As if they are informing you of some great truth of which you were unaware. It's so unbelievably enraging to me.

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  75. Yeah. We get that. What Medusa and I fail to grasp at this juncture is the particular instance to which Karma refers.

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  76. Karma, is someone trying to take credit for your idea; thoughts; words?

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  77. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  78. ~clap clap~

    Go make up a better story you little emo shit.

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  79. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  80. No, I'm making fun of you because you're not worth serious commentary.

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  81. back to hiding, cant help but smile

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  82. Hitler is my hero, whaaaaaat!

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  83. I don't know if this is the appropriate thread to ask a question or this question but I'm going to ask. I won't go into my back story but my mother is truly a sociopath. I was wondering how many people on this thread have kids & if so are they capable of loving them? I'm not judging anyone, I just want some perspective since I can't discern the truth from my mother.

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    1. I am a mother of four, but I'm no sociopath. I have a similarly disordered mother. She's highly narcissistic and completely lacks empathy. Right now I am in her good graces but for many years I was not. I could never understand why I felt so bad until I watched how she relates to my younger sister (the new target). There is a malicious, deliberate cruelty and a complete lack of an awareness of a child as a separate person. My saving grace was an empathic father. I think sociopaths have children at the same rate other people do- they do it to be socially appropriate the same way they marry to be socially appropriate, but it tends to be a very shallow connection.

      Delete
    2. I think sociopaths have children at the same rate other people do- they do it to be socially appropriate the same way they marry to be socially appropriate, but it tends to be a very shallow connection.


      No we just fuck like rabbits and the little fuckers come popping out. Thank goodness for abortion.

      Delete
    3. you meant thank god for abortion

      Delete
  84. There ARE "bad seeds." How about the nightmere stories of
    well meaning American adoptive families who take in orphoned
    children from Eastern block countries? Many are forced to give them
    back because of their sociopathic behavior.
    I knew of another case of a family who took in an improvished Mexican
    American child, and were "repaid" by having their biological daughter
    sexually abused. Only, she didn't tell her folks she was abused. She
    endured it for years.

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  85. I feel very strongly that psychopaths are made when authority figures (both those in chaotic homes and in "upstanding" homes) feel the need to utterly dominate a strong willed child. From the outside it can be difficult for researchers to discern high functioning narcissistic parents.

    I do not believe in a "bad seed". I believe that some kids come out more vulnerable than others, but psychopathy/antisocial personality disorder has everything to do with psychological defenses a child creates to defend themselves from the incredible emotional pain of being dominated and humiliated. There's a reason this behavior often runs in families because antisocial traits in a parent interacting with a developing child is a recipe for a personality disorder.

    Different children respond differently to this sort of treatment. Meek kids become dependent, bright but gentle kids become schizoid, OCD and paranoid, highly emotional kids become borderline and histrionic. Creative kids become schizotypal. The kids who have the most potential to become heroic leaders if born into a healthier environment are most at risk for becoming antisocial. Antisocial kids are the only kids who learn how to resist the domination, but they do so at the cost of accessing their own empathy.

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    1. what about meek, AND bright but gentle, AND emotional ones? I mean isn't aren't all those qualities on a spectrum, too?

      I like your theories, machempath,ad they make great sense on paper, but idk, I like to think i am pretty ordinary and i would describe myself as having gone throuh all theses phases..

      sure sure, it is as if i am a chameleon....but maybe just adaptive. - -Dont most kids who grow up in environments they have to scramble for everything (narc households) become chameleonesque just to adapt time after time after time to unpredictable forces ?

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    2. yes. All children who were raised by an authoritarian power broker develop a more pronounced than average false self which usually presents as narcissism and also a more fluid identity. To survive constant assaults on your right to be a separate individual, you get really good at "playing the game".

      I don't think antisocial personality defenses have to exist separately from other personality disorders- most clinicians will tell you that patients are often a mixture. In fact, classifying narcissism as a trait as a personality disorder instead of a disorder and and of it self reflects the perspective that personality disorders are really just constellations of behavior that exist to greater or lesser degrees in individual patients.

      In my opinion, what makes the antisocial defense unique is that it is the only one where the child "wins". The self is preserved even if there is outer compliance. The authority figure's capacity to influence the inner personality is completely removed. That's why "win or die" is the central mindset going forward.

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    3. Authoritarian power broker? Do you know what a power broker is?

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    4. Different children respond differently to this sort of treatment. Meek kids become dependent, bright but gentle kids become schizoid, OCD and paranoid, highly emotional kids become borderline and histrionic. Creative kids become schizotypal. The kids who have the most potential to become heroic leaders if born into a healthier environment are most at risk for becoming antisocial. Antisocial kids are the only kids who learn how to resist the domination, but they do so at the cost of accessing their own empathy.

      Why do they even do research anymore. Machamuppet has it all figured out in this simple paragraph.

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    5. I say "authoritarian power broker" to designate a despotic authority figure (even a temporary one- doesn't have to be the primary caregiver) in a child's life who seeks to dominate/control the expression of emotions and wills of those within his/her household/sphere of influence. It is a slightly more scientific term than asshole.

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    6. Power broker is someone in politics that plays both sides, and uses their influence behind the scenes to influence policies. It has nothing to do with parenting.

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    7. Power brokers are obsessed with power. Narcissistic/sociopathic leaders play factions of their followers/subordinates against each other. There is no capacity for secure bonds to be formed because the power broker will seek to sabotage any alliance that is not under his/her control.

      In the workplace there is more of a secretive aspect to this toxic behavior, within a family system, acting like a despot is ok in an authoritarian family system. In some family systems it's more like a benevolent dictatorship- but when you combine authoritarian "my way or the high way" parenting with power broker moves (isolating the child from any supportive adults including a weakened nurturing figure- and making sure the siblings don't form alliances that could provide support for resisting domination- then you have an authoritarian power broker at work.

      my wording may've been clumsy but that was the sentiment I was trying to convey- apologies for being unclear.

      side note for Ukan. I'm guessing you were also a poli sci major to have made that observation- were you?

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    8. side note for Ukan. I'm guessing you were also a poli sci major to have made that observation- were you?

      No I just eavesdrop on hipsters at starbucks, and build my theories from there.

      There is no power to broker in a family. As a parent you have all the power and there is nobody to broker it to.

      Power brokers are obsessed with power. Narcissistic/sociopathic leaders play factions of their followers/subordinates against each other. There is no capacity for secure bonds to be formed because the power broker will seek to sabotage any alliance that is not under his/her control.

      You talk about this as if it's sinister. It's business. If you don't operate in this manner you will be nothing but a servant. I find it passing strange that you named yourself after someone who actually was a power broker, yet here you stand despising the practice.

      Delete
    9. I despise individuals who use the wrong means of achieving leverage for a given situation. Why? Because it's wasteful of a potential resource. And "sinister" is not exactly what I meant to convey. There's the world of business, and there is the practice of child rearing. What is effective in one world can prove problematic in a different setting. The sort of leadership that triggers personality disorders in children can be very effective with adults whose brains are fully formed and just need a metaphorical kick in the ass to achieve the ends the organization. But playing hardball with kindergartners is well, sort of pathetic. You wind up crippling your own resources.

      Dominating a dependent child is not a show of strength. It's a show of insecurity and ultimately becomes a high maintenance job because the second you stop controlling, your "powers" vanish. There are far more effective ways to influence behavior in a being who is biologically programmed to want to cooperate with you. Those methods range from coercion/manipulation to encouragement/empowerment. These methods are superior because you have done more than turn a child into a sycophant. You've developed loyalty that is not fear based so it's a far more versatile sort of loyalty.

      Delete
    10. UKan you usually make points I can't quibble with. But I am going to have to push back on your statement that there is no power to broker within a family. Theoretically the parents have all the power, but as children grow and learn to manipulate their parents the dynamics change. Plus there is the male/female dynamic if you have a traditional household. There are many forms of power that go beyond simple "might makes right" that an autocratic father figure might like to wield against his family.

      For example, his wife can manipulate him sexually if he still finds her attractive. If that doesn't work she can be passive aggressive or poison his kids against him. His children can learn to be sneaky to get around his supposedly godlike pronouncements. Those are just a few of the more obvious ways disempowered members of a dysfunctional family system use power to get their own needs met.

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  86. I can never understand why people have children other then the use of making a protégé. They cost so much and majority can be rather infuriating to be around. Much less actually speaking like a child to communicate, which adults look brain damaged when they do it.

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    1. There's no other reason to have children than to have proteges and if you talk to your kid like a retard the results will be obvious. So talk to your kid like he's an adult

      Delete
  87. pro·té·gé
    ˈprōtəˌZHā,ˌprōtəˈZHā/
    noun
    1.
    a person who is guided and supported by an older and more experienced or influential person.
    "he was an aide and protégé of the former Tennessee senator"
    synonyms: student, pupil, trainee, apprentice; More



    Ok
    so what would you teach? And why?

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    1. Have you seen the movie Hannah? As for why, simply because I would like another me.

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    2. I would hate another me/ I would hate looking at the faults and feeling sorry for the child. i know what that is.. Wish i had a tad of your kind of narcissism . i mean that sincerely.















      Delete
    3. havent seen Hannah.

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    4. Anon - I take no offence, I have also thought that when people have children they try to improve on what they never were or never had. Evading the possibility of making they same mistakes as they did. Just one of many possibilities I suppose.

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  88. Hello i am Sharon caparas ,I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how i got my ex love back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month,But when i meet a friend that introduce me to Dr sunshine the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to Dr sunshine about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Dr sunshine at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: doctorsunshinehope@yahoo.com. and get your problems solve like me..

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  89. This is ridiculous, M.E suffered serious emotional neglect as a child. She describes it in detail in her book. If she doesn't understand the abuse she suffered, that just shows how out of touch she is. Everyone tends to think their childhood was normal, even when their childhood is objectively missing normal emotional bonds.

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    1. What is funny is the fact that you read her book.

      Delete
    2. Why? It's not any different than reading this blog.

      Reading this response again, I have no idea why I'm so hostile. I suppose it's frustrating that some people don't recognize abuse.

      Delete
    3. It's the frog in the boiling water phenomenon. Children normalize horrific realities so they can bear existing within them in the role of powerless dependent.
      Denial is one of the most primitive and effective psychological defense mechanisms. If you can't have empathy for your own "inner child" it makes perfect sense you have no patience for anyone else's.

      Delete
    4. I read the book as well. I think she gee up with neglect and abuse. I had similar events in my life.
      You can not put abuse on a scale.

      IE. Sexually abused vs. neglected
      I think it depends on how a child copes and internalized personality traits. Some kids probably have a different internal inborn sensitivity based on neurological patterns.

      Delete
    5. Yet on the Dr Phil show she claims to have had a normal stable home. I found it funny you read her book, because it's obvious she's not a sociopath at all. Just a try hard who is trying to twist psychopathy into being a superpower with very little faults and then claiming that she has been diagnosed with it.

      There's not much difference in reading the bollocks on this blog and her book except that you actually bought the book, and sat down for hours reading someone's boring account of their boring life. I don't read this blog. I never have. I just come in and fuck with the users.

      Delete
    6. I didn't buy the book, I pirated it, out of laziness. It does not matter if I paid for it or not though. I'm not in a contest to determine who cares the least about everybody else's life.

      Delete
  90. If anyone wonders, this is what M.E looks like.

    http://puu.sh/5bYWg

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    1. that girl looks liike shes looking into her mirror doing that cute little smooth move to herself. its creepy

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  91. another great post m.e. I like the way you think. its reasoned, logical and informative. All angles of possibilities are approached fairly. i heard as high as 30% of the population falls into some sorta personality trait. why others are more inclined to one, and the other - another one, we'll.. we need to take all factors in. but, overall, it remains mysterious. I grew up where I believe my friends split off into different personality traits. I spit into bpd, and boy did it ever hurt, an emotional train. the other girl, narcissism. the other possibly psychopathic traits. Possibly though? who did my demons mingle well with. You named it. WE were only trying to survive our world inside of us, as best as we saw fit. I call it coping mechanisms. If not us, who else? We had to survive somehow.

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  92. and my area would be considered ghetto to sum growing up. the tougher areas where the nasties happen. its all relative though, how one looks at it.

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  93. I'm writing this a 7:36AM EST. Nov. 8, 2013. Ordinarly, M.E. has
    released her previous night's blog by now. I notice it's not there.
    This only happened one other time I can recall in the mounths I
    have been following the blog. She did release the blog later in the
    day. Just in case this IS the end, I want to say I wish everybody here
    good luck in thier lives, and recommend that you get in touch with
    "New Life Foundation" based in Arizona.

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  94. the best representation I have ever seen on film of the sort of environment where a high functioning psychopath is created is "Tree of Life" by Terence Malick. Researchers observing this family from the outside would declare it a very stable home. But the torment of a son who is raised by a father who must continually dominate each member of his family is demonstrated in a very palpable way.

    This movie is one anyone who prefers action movies would consider to be an annoying art film. It has its flaws. In fact, it's the sort of movie best watched if you have had a glass or two of wine and are simply open to it. The plot line is not typical- it is stream of consciousness.

    But for anyone who wonders if they were subjected to this particular variant of soul crushing it will seem very familiar. It will feel like going home. That's how you recognize it.

    Here's the trailer.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXRYA1dxP_0

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    1. thanks for the link, i will watch it later :-)

      Delete
  95. "It's interesting thinking what might trigger sociopath genes in an otherwise relatively normal child."

    its not my fault im like this.

    "Yes, abuse or severe neglect, but they are neither necessary nor sufficient."

    my parents sucked but i was probably born like this.

    "I've already talked about some of the banal details of my childhood that may have triggered a predisposition to sociopathic traits, "

    not that they tried to help me.

    "including possibly a particularly serious case of colic.Perhaps the colic interfered with normal maternal bonding,"

    even when i got sick, they still werent there for me!

    "perhaps I sensed a more urgent need to compete for resources than normal people,"

    so it's their fault im angry!

    "but I understand how these explanations might fail to be convincing."

    not that anyone cares or even listens to me...

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  96. very interesting, glad you shared. :-) thank you, im listening.

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  97. empaths are F***ing stupid!

    psychopath free website is full of losers having a pity party!

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  98. why don't empaths take responsibility for being so dumb???????????

    how do you let a sociopath man/woman let you abuse year after year??

    and i'm talking about stories that come from western countries where people DO have a choice to leave their sociopath...but they don't!!

    how dumb and irresponsible are empaths! and they just play blame game

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  99. Nothing wrong with empathy if it serves your purpose. Anyways, I don't know what caused it in me.. I used to be extremely empathetic. And it worked well for me. I know in reality empathy just means 'feeling my own feelings' because we are sharing this experience here. And so when I get the message that says "I feel sad".. I just have no clue what to do with the information. Its like a dead end.

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  100. I have no idea what to do when I am experiencing suffering, because I don't believe in compassion, since it cannot exist without self-pity. And I don't pity myself. So I just I guess I may never learn.

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  101. Geez, why people confuse psychopathy with so many other things... Psychopath isn't created, psychopath is born. Sociopathy is something completely different and the fact that someone's a serial killer or slt doesn't make him necessarily a psychopath..

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    ReplyDelete
  103. Be careful here nobody can help you here or even suggest how you can get your ex or love back,any testimonies of most spell caster here must be ignore.because most of them are scam i mean real scam which i was a victim and i got ripped of thousands of dollars because i was so anxious to get my wife back after she left me for over 2 years with my 7 years old son jerry,i have applied to 7 different spell caster here and all to no avail they all ask for same thing send your name your ex name address and picture phone number etc which i did over and over again and most of them were from west Africa until i saw a post about mama Anita spell and i decided to gave her my last trail.she ask me four things my real name,my ex and my ex mother name and $180 and said my ex will come back in 24hours, i have paid over $3000 on spell casting and courier and nothing have work for me after 3 days i was thinking about how much i have lost so far so i said let me give her a try so i called her again and send my real name,my ex and my ex mother name and the $180 because i swear it was my last try so i was waiting as she told me to wait till next day and i could not sleep that night because i really love my wife and want her back at 9pm that day i saw my wife on line on face book and she said hi at first i was shock because she never talk with me for the past a year and 9 month now i did not reply again she said are you there? i quickly reply yes and she said can we see tomorrow i said yes and she went off-line i was confused i try to chat her again but she was no more on line i could not sleep that night as i was wondering what she is going to say, by 7.am the next morning she gave me a miss call i decided not to call back as i was still on shock again she call and i pick she said can we see after work today i said yes so she end the call immediately i got off work she call me and we meet and now we are back again i call mama anita the next day thanking her for what she has done in fact i still call her and thank her as my life was not complete without my wife please be careful here i have been scam thousands of dollars if you want a true love spell then contact mama Anita (mama.anitatruelovespell@gmail.com)

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  104. An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is Olivia Phimzile,i live in Florida,USA,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{spiritualherbalisthealers@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same email spiritualherbalisthealers@gmail.com,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr ZUMA ZUK for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. {spiritualherbalisthealers@gmail.com}

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  105. My Father himself was a diagnosed Psychopath, and wanted to turn me into what he was. I never really felt anything though, and never formed bonds with anybody. He was violent and had tried to kill me at some point while laughing, but I never really cared. He had kept on abusing me until I was strong enough to fight back and proved it. I was pissed off and he was in my way, so I swung at him. He paused, before laughing and looking proud. "That's my boy, never take shit from anybody!"
    He trained me to kill, to fight and to die. He taught me how to wield a knife, a gun and nothing but my fists, and still win the fight. He taught me to have no hesitation or second thoughts about killing. He taught me everything I know, from my mask of a humorous humanitarian, to my skill at emotionally dissecting whomever I decided to play with that day. I hardly use these skills and tactics, but I had a few times. I guess the difference between me and my father is the fact that I am much more collected, and if I were to strike, it'd take a long time if they ever manage to pin it down on me. Sometimes it can become a fight for power between me and my father, though. He is very arrogant, while I size up my opponent nicely. He's very violent wile I refuse to hurt others. He's prone to alcoholic outbursts while I can handle my alcohol. He doesn't bother me anymore, and we do our own things now.

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    1. good to hear, your biggest enemy is yourelf, i mean if you feel hate towards someone that hasnt done aynthing that hate or fear comes from you so just let that go, let go of the past and just be the best version of yourself man, much love and i hope your life is alot better now! peacce!

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