Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Interview with a cannibal

A reader shared with me this very interesting video about a cannibal and asks: "in the video he mentions that he doesn't feel guilt around these events but he feels the shock of his parent's death. i was wondering if you think he's a sociopath or not. i recall reading that for sociopaths its not necessarily that they don't have empathy or those types of feelings, but rather that it comes with a voluntary switch."


 I really like the beginning when he says "I believe I come from another planet or dimension. I fell to earth. Disguised as an infant, laying helpless, my mother walked by and took pitty on me. I must have come from a place of cannibals, and im the only one of my kind." Sometimes I have had similar feelings of not being from here. One time someone I dated said I was not human, an alien. Someone else said that I vibrate on a different frequency than everyone else. Of course those things are not at all true, but they're interesting ways of describing something that we don't quite have the words for, like a child's understanding of a concept too far beyond his ken.


156 comments:

  1. This guy sounds pretty crazy.

    "One time someone I dated said I was not human, an alien"
    Me too!

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    1. Ummm, where's the actual video?

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    2. youtube. that's where the video is.

      -Dumbass

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    3. Lol. I'm lazy. Was hoping for a link.

      This Issei Sagawa is really something. Picked the girl for her health and beauty so he could absorb her energy by eating her flesh. Then walks free to become a celebrity.
      Even inspired a Rolling Stones song Too Much Blood:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW9czZfH_EM
      Unbelievable.

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    4. yes there's too much blood. You must hang a fresh kill from a meat hook and slit the neck like the rabbis do to kosher meat first.

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    5. I have heard about those cannibal rabbis.

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    6. Wow, thanks. I'll keep that in mind in case I ever want some kosher style human meat ;)

      How weird is this? A creepy looking middle aged Japanese guy just poked me on facebook today. He's not even a friend. Yikes! I think he wants to eat me.

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    7. lol. You cannot trust the japanese either.

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    8. http://www.skoften.net/index/babe/taira

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    9. No thanks. Too tawdry for my liking.
      I like my women with class and at least a hint of self respect.

      Delete
  2. He's obviously not alone. If you google it you'll find interviews with several cannibals. There's a lot more than one.

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    Replies
    1. ;)

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAen_16QLPw

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  3. I am wondering if many factors come together and we "choose" our PD.

    It would be unconscious, as is the nature of defense mechanisms.

    I am not talking about the few cases where people are born with PDs, as I think it is rare but I could be wrong.

    I am talking about PDs that are formed by abuse.

    I wonder if there is a moment when you "choose" and you "fall" into it, by necessity of self protection.

    I think I had that moment where I had conscious choice to give myself up to a PD. I think many factors were at play in that moment such as basic nature, any support systems that were available, any good relationships which I wanted to maintain etc

    I feel I shut down as a teen because I did not want to lose my humanity and I could have.

    Does this make sense to anyone?

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    1. If you're in physical pain you can scream and twist to take the edge off, and you can grasp the idea that the pain must stop eventually. With mental trauma, there is no such guarantee. Sometimes the only way to stop that sort of pain is to become the type of person who is not bothered by it. You can sacrafice a part of your humanity in order to bring relief to what's left.

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    2. Can you explain more, EA?

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    3. I can do that. I can feel the trauma fast intense and well. Then I am "not be bothered by it." It is like the discussion on meditation and feeling pain well and then it going away. i like that because I can go back to normal quickly.

      "You can sacrafice a part of your humanity in order to bring relief to what's left."

      Please explain this to me if you can give me examples. Do you have experience or do you just observe this in others?

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    4. I have been feeling really self destructive, lately. I have been eating too much for 4-5 days and today I feel really sick.

      I ask myself why I do this? It is the murderous orgy level of rage I have against my mother. It is a blind fury rage.

      If unleashed, it could kill a crowd~

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    5. Monica, Dear...

      Let it go;-]

      I mean really... take out a crowd if you have to~

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    6. Yep. If it takes her killing a crowd to shut her up, then so be it. Sacrifices must be made~

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    7. eating too much is for filling a void or to punish yourself. I usually sabotaging myself. I punish myself for everything including success because i fear it will be too much to bear if I fail after a bit of success. It is a cycle of punishing from succeeding OR failing. I binge eat. Then I feel I have a goal and a distraction and something to do and control to take the weight off. It's fucked UP!

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    8. actually i do not know all the reasons but it is eating to stuff down feelings and also punish. It is self hate.

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    9. I do not like to feel my feelings so I get rid of them right away. I do not linger in them because i am afraid they will swallow me and i do not want any part of them. They are destructive. Even if they are "me" they are poison. And they don't go away. THey do not, no matter if I eat or get rid of them in the moment quickly. I'm sick and tired of it and i am sick and tired of me. So i distract the best way i can.

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    10. Rather than binging and whinging, why don't you go volunteer at a homeless shelter or something? That way you get distracted and you do some good.

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    11. that is a good idea. I have thought about that kind of thing. I actually help others to distract me. Not volunteering at homeless shelter though.

      I am being asked to whinge here by Monica, the wallower. She is contagious and I deliver. I don't do it irl. But I am Monica;s slave and she is mine.

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    12. Frankly, I will not have dialogue with her.

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    13. I think we all have these issues. I just bring them up :D

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    14. I have a nice job which makes me feel good, too. It isn't charity but it is giving.

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    15. why will you have a dialog with me?

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    16. Break free! Don't let her pull you into one of her self pitying monologues. She will keep going and going, no matter how much you try to help her.

      She will tell you that you have helped her a lot, that she can see clearer now, that she has begun healing thanks to you. Then she will be right back tomorrow to whinge some more. It never ends!!!

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    17. Or cut your throat if she's jealous

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    18. More like get put on a passive-aggressive sock puppet theater with Themes, HTHaPD, CEO, Fomentile brothers, Bible Anon, Miss Sharp and a whole cast of "different" anon extras.
      Am I missing anybody here, Monica?

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    19. CEO is his own person.

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    20. Sure he is.
      So are the rest of them. They are all individuals that frequent SW and just happen to support all Monica's views at convenient times.
      I believe you~

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    21. CEO is not Monica, but that is between you and him.

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    22. I suffered greatly from Monica's abuse, tbh. I'm still going through therapy.

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    23. I know. Many of us have. We even had a support group for the survivors of the Chorus Monicarum.
      Until she found out about us. It was brutal, man!
      I need a virtual hug.

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    24. Replying to Monica's original post, I'd have to disagree. One does not choose a personality disorder any more than one chooses to be born. I ascribe to cold, hard logic, so forgive me if it isn't easy to grasp the concept I consider to be true. The idea I refer to is determinism. Determinism states that we only think we have choice, but our every action is really predictable through causality. When it comes down to it, your personality is really just the result of your neurons responding to stimuli. You don't control your stimuli, ergo, you don't control what you do. It is nice to live in the illusion of choice, though. It makes us feel empowered and strong. It is because of this unnecessary need, along with self-entitlement, that very few people will really accept that they have no control over anything.

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  4. I feel I'm special too.

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  5. Monica, you're getting far too obvious with your self-dialogues (as in with EA). Are you getting delusional?

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    1. I am not EA. I don't talk to myself. I am looking for answers ~

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    2. shut up and have some respect for people who talk to themselves, Delusional Much.

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    3. I think part of this is because I am starting to get successful.

      Can anyone relate to success and feeling more self destructive?

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    4. SDCEO SociopathworldNovember 20, 2012 at 8:51 AM

      Proceed EA.

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    5. Yes. You feel you don't deserve it or you're fulfilling your parent's desires for you to fail. If you get better at life than they are you disappoint them. They killed you, blah blah blah.

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    6. If you get better at life than they are you disappoint them. They killed you, blah blah blah.


      Yes, this rings true. Can you explain more?

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    7. my father, the failure, said this to me. He said he is not letting his mother down by stayig a failure.

      People who tell you over and over you stink will make you feel you stink if you are beholden to them. They brainwash you. No matter what , they will put you small and powerless where they can see and control you.

      One has to grow up and say no to that once and for all.

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    8. Thank you. I appreciate your help, Friends.

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  6. Okay, since I won't go to YouTube now, maybe someone who watched those videos can tell: do canibals eat people because they taste good or it has something to do with total dominance or something? =\

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  7. Yesterday in the forum one guy declared that there's no need to hide one's identity in here and he stated that nothing bad can happen.
    I wonder how lonely that fellow must be... Seriously, if someone from your environment would find it out, it would definitely change the way s/he views you. And according to majority being a psychopath is bad, so outing yourself can only bring trouble if you have people that care about you, unless you're UKan and have Kany, of course :)
    So what do you (all of you, Monica included) think about it? Should one be concerned to not reveal himself?

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    1. LOL! Hey mee... what's my name? And when are you going to bring me those cookies?

      When you hide here, what are you hiding from? Just saying....

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    2. people dont remember who you are . they remember how you made them feel.

      Maya Angelou is a self-outed psychopath.

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    3. "people dont remember who you are . they remember how you made them feel"

      Not being a smart ass, can you expound upon this?

      I had an interesting converstion with someone from my past recently and was given a complete different vision of who they thought me to be.

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    4. That conversation you had sounds interesting. Care to share, Virus?

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    5. well, i know that is the sociopath gift, and that is why it is relevant here. They make you feel like you are the only person in the room. As a borderline I do it too.

      Me too. People remember me from HS as strong and secure. It feels like a lie inside me. I mean I know there are parts of me extremely strong that i do not pay attention to.

      You know , when you are a leader, people will feel disappointed and insecure if you don't continue the front. I am a leader-type in real life. i want people to feel secure.

      I do not like to show insecurity. It makes you vulnerable to prey.

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    6. Also, they leave you when they don't need you anymore.

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    7. I don't hide, I sometimes am here, sometimes there. I doubt I'll be able to bring them for ya. Travel expanses are way to big for a short visit. Although I might be interested in visiting you in summer for a week or two I don't know if I can ever trust you, I still remember our little misunderstandings...

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    8. Thanks for sharing, that quote is pretty good, Tom, what you wrote reminded me how in one interview James Fallon claimed to be surprised after hearing other people honest opinion about himself, so I'd love to hear your story!
      Borderline anonymous, I assume that people only saw what you revealed, all the emotional stuff you hid (?) made you have a different image.

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  8. Crazies for you, be careful when postingNovember 20, 2012 at 10:00 AM

    You should not give out who you are if you are a psychopath, and by the same token you should realize that if for any reason when you grow up one day you get into trouble with law or government these postings of yours could be made public.

    WHat you post here may have nothing to do with your true self, they may be just some of your bad ideas about yourself or others, but the public would hold it agianst you. Did you know that Newton, the man who brought us the knowledge of gravity also believed in ghosts and was really working on that one? Had public heard that at the time he was gaining credibility with his theories he could have failed in pushing the gravity theory out there. Imagine someone believing everything that falls down is brought down by a ghost, that it's ghosts' job to make sure things fall down, lol...

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  9. Let the crazy begin!!!

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  10. Thomas sat facing Dr Monica Moo. She asked him why he was here.

    He told her he was addicted to gambling. Now, he had a gambling debt and a goon and his wife on his ass.


    Thomas had achieved everything he ever wanted. He was was successful in his gynecology practice. He had dated models and beautiful woman of all shapes and stripes but he was addicted to gambling.

    He gambled like it was going out of style.

    Now, he had the goon of all goons, UKan, coming to pick up a gambling debt in 3 weeks. Woe to Thomans if he did not have the 10,000 dollars.

    Thomas, to his great surprise started to tear up.

    Monica looked like she understood pain. Thomas relaxed a bit as Monica told him to go on.




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    1. it had to be gynecology. lol






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    3. thomas should use his sociopathic charm to pimp out his wife and any other women in his life to get that $10,000. easy peasy.

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    4. Or tell Monica he'd be willing to go on a dirty weekend away with her- if only he could pay off this debt. Get to third base as a gesture of goodwill.
      Then collect the money from her and M.E. and go to Vegas ;)

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    5. Thomas told Monica about his longest relationship, a Victoria's Secret model who was the envy of all his friends.

      One day, he got as bored of her as he did of his car and traded her in.

      She plotted revenge by coming to his office with drunk and disorderly conduct.

      The ladies in the office did not appreciate the show, but such was Thomas' life.

      Thomas was the man who had everything he ever wanted and still was driven.

      The gambling started as a way for him to relax from the stress of the day.

      The casinos were open all day and all night.

      Sometimes, he would stay up all night and come into the office looking ragged.

      He made minor mistakes. His co-workers covered for him. They told him to get some rest, but their eyes were hard.

      In 3 weeks, UKan would pay a visit.

      He would try to make some of the famous Thomas moves in his next appointment with Monica.

      He looked in the mirror. The penetrating brown eyes were looking back at him. He had dimples, the better to disarm you with.

      He was thin and muscular with the body of a tennis player.

      The mirror told him that he would be fine. Just look at you, it said.

      Thomas smiled. Yes, I am going to be fine.





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    6. Lol at the story.

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  11. Well, I only check this in the morning and not while I'm at work, but I'll answer regardless.

    "You can sacrafice a part of your humanity in order to bring relief to what's left."

    I think fairness is pretty universal, as everyone develops some concept of it and it dictates many responses to violations of social rules. I'll provide a modified anecdote to explain my personal experience with this statement.

    A family member and I went 50/50 on a lottery ticket, with the understanding that if we won, the winnings would also be split 50/50. We won, and it was about $20,000. We're poor, so this is a rather substantial sum. My family member cashed in the ticket, and with money in hand decided to keep all of it. As compensation, they bought me a nice new T.V. for about $1000.

    This went strongly against my concept of fairness, but the family member was in a position where I could not contest the decision. The issue ate at me deeply, to the point that it became a consuming obsession. I could not let the issue go, neither could I do anything about it. Consciously or not, I solved my internal conflict. I considered the events surrounding the unfair exchange, and rather than feel anger or frustration, I forced emptiness upon it. If you throw enough dead, empty feelings at something, eventually the void becomes more substantial than what occupies it.

    So, while I understand the concept of fairness, it no longer touches me. I've been cheated since (though not to a similar magnitude) but it doesn't phase me at all. Also, I don't really care whether I'm fair to others.

    I'll admit I'm a selfish person and this particular unfair instance is trivial, but it still bothered me. Whatever is bothering you is probably substantially more terrible, but my solution could work for you. Go over the events in your mind, and make yourself dead to them. It may take some time, but eventually it won't bother you anymore. I consider it a loss of humanity because whatever troubles you probably SHOULD be obsessed over, something SHOULD be done about it. Letting it be goes against how you're wired. So, rewire yourself, remove the festering limb to save your life. It will change you, but you'll survive.

    *disclaimer* I am completely full of shit and probably always wrong about everything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like the disclaimer, you were fully expecting to get attacked and told you're an idiot, weren't you?

      You sound like you are advocating martyrdom. Quietly accepting anything they do to you.
      You are essentially telling them that it's OK to fuck you up. You will not fight back. Who wouldn't abuse you more?

      Burying your emotions doesn't really work for a lot of people. You will feel better, or number anyway, for a while. But all that buried anger, shame and hurt will surface eventually. You essentially become a walking time bomb. Something, and it could be a very trivial thing, will make you implode or explode. Either way, it will not be pretty.

      Better to deal with the situation as it arises. If you feel angry at them for cheating you, but can't get the money by asking nicely or then insisting, go to plan B. Make them hurt. Take out that anger on them. Do as much damage as you think you will be able to live with. Don't punish yourself further for something they did wrong.

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    2. You both have good points. I think it is all about making best friends with our personal power.

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    3. So says SW's biggest powder keg.
      Unleash the beast already. First it was a stern talking to with your mother, then claw hammers, now taking out crowds. And all you do about it is bitch every day. How long till you explode, Monica? And who will bear the brunt of it when it happens?

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    4. You. Where do you live?

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    5. Lol!
      Oh please, what are you going to do? Bitch to me about your abuse, anger issues and numbness till I go crazy from boredom? Give me a really scary horoscope prediction? Talk to me about Jesus till I jump out of a window?
      Oh no!! Surely even you are not that cruel.

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    6. Who are you Anon 6:18?

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    7. Why do you want to know?

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    8. Because you insulted me someday. At least do it using your name.

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    9. Lol! Monica I presume?
      I insulted plenty of people someday. What insult did you take the most offense to?
      Be very, very honest and I just might reward you.

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    10. You did it a long time ago, and it was one time. But I remember it clearly, because it hurts when people you appreciate do it, you know?

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    11. I have made a great effort not to be an Anon.

      I am once in a while with a lol, but I am not, for the most part, as Kany was right and I need to stand up for what I say.

      That was not me. When did I insult you?

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    12. Who is it that you think I am?
      And what was this insult?
      We can either speak in riddles or you can come to the chase. Send me an email.

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    13. I don't understand who is talking to whom.

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    14. You never understood much, Monica. So that's nothing new.

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    15. Well, it was about 10 years ago, and I've neither exploded nor imploded. It's not just buried, it's dead. I didn't get what I wanted, and while I remember the events clearly, I didn't intend to give you the impression that I still care. Monica was sufficiently vague that I have no idea what her actual problem is, but if it's not something still occurring, then killing the feelings surrounding the event (not burying) is effective.

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    16. Where's my reward?

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    17. What was the insult? That I said you sounded like a martyr?
      Was it that one time that you made yourself bury it all? Were there times that you did go to plan B?

      A small hint then. I am a regular here.

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    18. What was plan B?

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    19. Plan A is to be nice, get kicked around and bury all those juicy emotions, hoping they will never surface.
      Not my favorite.

      Plan B is to try being nice first, then use all that anger, all that hurt to get back at them. Hurt them back as badly as you dare and can still sleep at night.
      No, I'm not saying murder or baseball bats here, there are other ways. I want to know if you ever took this plan of action.
      More a fan of this one.

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    20. I never take plan A, that's not the kind of person I am. There were a lot of B's in my life.

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    21. What do you enjoy doing the most in life, Anon 8:30? What's your dream?

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    22. Well done then.
      But your post really did sound the opposite of that to me. I read it twice and it reeks of plan A.

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    23. Do you know who I am?

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    24. That would give too much away. I have shared too much on here before as is.
      But I can tell you that my dream is to be happy. Has been my only real wish for as long as I can remember.
      Why don't you tell me about yourself?

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    25. Because you already know about myself.

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    26. You speak to me in riddles, you speak to me in rhymes...

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    27. I already sent you a mail.

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    28. Then you have a case of mistaken identity on your hands, I'm afraid. No emails here.
      Who did you think I was?

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    29. Then I'm afraid I was wrong.

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    30. Let me guess. Are you Extremity?

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    31. What makes you think I am?

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    32. Wild guess.
      Tell you what, you guess who I am and I might even tell you the truth. Three guesses.

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    33. Tell me the first letter of your email instead.

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    34. Don't think so, that would give the whole game away.
      And I like games.

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    35. You love games.

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    36. I already won, give me my reward.

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    37. I already gave you your reward ;)
      So take your guesses if you want to play.

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    38. I might even tell you the truth.

      I don't like your might, it stands in the way.

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    39. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSU9rYTq0hs

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    40. Well done. Now you know my favorite song.
      You could send an email to who you think I am, with your name, in the next 15 minutes. If I get it, I will reply. How's that for truth?

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    41. I am a plan B er, too.

      You like to willingly dissociate to keep cool. You are Zoe.

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    42. Absolutely not Zoe. Not even close.
      Tell you what, I hear CEO knows who's who around here, even the anons.
      Ask him nicely who I am. Maybe he will tell you ;)

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    43. And how does THE ceo know who's who?

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    44. What did you think exactly?

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    45. Expand on the 145 post. Is that hard for you to comprehend?

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    46. This anonymity thing is such fun!
      Not Zoe. Definitely not Monica if that is what you are implying. I doubt even Monica is crazy enough to talk to herself that way.

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    47. Monica has been talking to herself for many months, now. Your blanket statement or gaslighting is just that

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    48. Lol!

      No, I can tell you that I am most definitely not Monica (or a member of her puppet theater). I have nothing but contempt for her.

      She claimed CEO was not her, so that was a little bait for her ;)
      If CEO was real and knew who's who as was claimed before, then he would be able to out me.

      Also, I said I was a regular who could be reached by email. Monica apparently cannot.

      This was a very fun game to play I must say.

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    49. Uhmm..A piece of advice ladies... Do NOT ask CEO. Don't even knock on his door.

      He'll make your head spin around, spit split pea all over yourself and cream in your jeans at the same time.

      Just ...wow.
      Age is just a number, my friends, just a number.

      Delete
    50. He sounds delicious.
      How do you know this, Medusa?

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    51. I came in to the office because he summoned me. Said my entire wardrobe wreaked of the stupid stuff. Said I was too obvious, and an embarrassment to outsiders looking for business with us.

      He was threatening to write my ass up. Whatever. He came over to my chair to give me some shit to sign, some agreement stating we had words, whatever.

      He stepped over to me to give me his pen and I couldn't believe it. -His dick was making contact with my knee. He didn't even notice. Well, I mean to this day I haven't a clue.

      But he saw me blushing. Asked me why.

      Fuck, I couldn't control my smirk.

      He knew I was hot for him. He had to have known. But he didn't say anything. He just stood there expressionless, waiting for an answer.

      I crossed and uncrossed my legs two or three times.
      I could barely breathe. He said if I didn't tell him what was on my mind he'd have to let me go right then.

      ...I'm in no position to start looking for another job. So I did.

      I slid my fingers between his thighs and I looked him in the eye and told him the truth. I told him if he kept me in that chair one second longer I'd have to give into my impulses.

      He unzipped slowly. Fucking no underwear. It was goddamned beautiful.

      I was about to put my mouth over it, and then he put my face in his hands gently and backed up real slow, again, expressionless. Then he turned away, put his junk back in and zipped up.

      THEN he sat down in his chair, shuffled a few papers and pretended I'd already left the room!

      WTF? Heh. Damn he's good.

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    52. WOWSER
      Just saw this! @@@@@

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    53. Lol. I've read way better fanfiction.
      It's not as bad as what Upon The Couch writes, so I must give you some credit.

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    54. LOL you've read way better fan fiction? S'at right?

      First time out muthafuckere. Take your snobbery to the pros.

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    55. She tried to deflate you and you took her bait?

      It's because she went anon. You wouldn't have if she used her name.

      I think she was insulted or something you used her name to write something "sub par". Why did you do that anyway?

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    56. No, she wasn't insulted. She's a trickster and a poker. Everyone who's been here a while has gotten used to her. She went anon because she knows her game is old. I mean wouldn't you?

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    57. Lol. You did take my bait! Nice.
      For a first timer you're not too bad. Keep at it, Shakespeare.

      And by the way, I'm not Medusa.
      Not a fan of Medusa either. I'm the one that likes to play games ;)

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    58. It's both. You poked her and she poked back. plus she's a bitch and you're just ..idk man. Why don't you get a name? Why are you so chicken? why do you pretend you are HER? Of all people.

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    59. Birdick! Well now I'm flattered. But no. I'm a female. It is such fun playing as anon, I might keep this up.

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    60. I thought Birdick was the token tranny, no?

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    61. Oh. You are Grey.

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    62. You sound like someone I may have had emails with.

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    63. Anyway, thank you for the compliment on my writing.

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    64. Are you a philosopher ?

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    65. @ Medusa

      I am B minus talent next to that but we average people have to exist in a world of beauties, but I do appreciate good writing :D

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    66. It is not Medusa. I am neither a beauty nor a good writer. I am average. You are trying to pick me up because you know i have confidence problems. Thank you for the gesture.

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    67. Your writing makes me laugh so hard.

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    68. What ever happened to Grey? I liked her.

      Nobody still had any idea who the fake Medusa or I am. Playing the Anonymous game rules!

      Upon The Sofa, that was a nice try at getting her to reveal herself. Feeding the narcissism.

      Fake Medusa, you sound like a mess. You were given a compliment and you started putting yourself down. Want to talk about those insecurities? Also are you EA?

      Delete
    69. It was not flattery. I don't flatter.

      Your writing is amazing. It is natural talent and effortless.

      I think I know who you are, but I am not going to say but you are as sexy as your writing :D

      Delete
    70. Up From the Sofa, are you also the one who wrote the riff about Ukan being vague with a bad haircut? Or is that another regular?

      Delete
    71. I am not EA. I thought EA was Monica.

      I did not have healthy encouragement. I am too much seeking approval, way too sensitive to disapproving looks, so i cut off at the pass. I have failed before the ruling/start. It is a terrible self- destructive habit.

      Also I am angry with myself that I like the approval because I rely too much on outside forces for self esteem and that reminds me of people I hate.

      I have to force myself to accept compliments without grumbling. I realize that I am basically telling others their opinions are worth shit too, so i tell myself I had better be graceful and confident. And I am aware I have talent. So this is a bizarre affliction.


      It is my brain so I am trying to change it but I cannot fast enough. It is very painful for me.


      Well I am a sexual person. I guess it comes across? lol.

      And yes, I see that every single thing I wrote up there is me hitting me over and over.

      Delete
    72. No one gives a crap or knows how I think of myself and I'm not ashamed people know my esteem is fucked up. Not here atleast. Well, not for a while anyway. Lots of people's esteem is fucked up. They just don't admit it or know it.

      No one knows to what extent I have bad feelings.
      I am pretty depressed now.

      Delete
    73. You sound like somebody I know.
      One question, have you been in regular contact with one of us regulars by email for a while now?
      Just a yes or no will do, no names.

      Delete
    74. ^ Too sexy? ^




      I guess no one is too sexy ^^

      Delete
    75. Why do you want to know?

      Delete
    76. I have to go now.

      Delete
  12. i can't see the video. in any case my vegan self is very grossed out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Issei Sagawa video:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BosZxa1bYcE

      Delete
    2. really gross, thanks

      Delete
    3. aside from the gross-out factor, he's a boring fetishist

      Delete

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