Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Sociopaths and impulsive helpfulness

At Narcissistworld, they featured this video about helping people.


And this quote about how there might be situations in which sociopaths are most likely to help:

Normal people get too bothered witnessing suffering to keep seeing it. Narcissists don’t care – they are too focused on their own story, judging the losers in a way that makes them feel good about themselves, etc. But sociopaths can really see the suffering and keep going.

64 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. the original 1st

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    2. there's only one word to describe me : devastating

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  2. And the suffering we see is beautiful.

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  3. You can see how there is always truth in humor. People get inured to suffering. It is within the human defense mechanisms, for survival purposes.

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  4. :) Good Morning Sociopathworld!!!!!

    LMAO! I never knew there was a "Narcissistworld"!!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Lol we dont talk about that place often, and never in front of the children

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    2. 1st rule of Narcissistworld
      you do not talk about Narcissistworld

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    3. The sociopath I live with fell in love. It has been interesting to watch, because despite this guy being fearless, callous, manipulative and parasitic, his love relationship hasn’t gone “by the book”. That is, he isn’t running simultaneous affairs. He really does seem to be in love with the woman. And having been rejected by her, he’s flailing.

      good stuff

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    4. I have fallen into my own version of love before. It just never lasts long. Booooooring!

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    5. ...A common symptom of AIDS. Better get that checked.

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    6. Anon 11.10AM

      Of course your version of love was boring. If you have not experienced the real thing then your washed-down version of love certainly will bore the hell out of you. Are you not clueless as to what real love is? You are not wired for love in a significant way. Entertainment. Yes!

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  5. I have some new episodes on yesterdays thread.

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  6. Suggestions for the nature of business of the establishment where the characters in Sofa's story are working.

    1) Hollywood talent management and casting agency.
    2) Sociopath World Wrestling Entertainment Inc or SWWE

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  7. First 2 Things:

    1. I am excited to know of NarcissistWorld! I haven't found many decent narc blogs, which is really quite shocking if you think about it.

    2. Human neglect clumps - ::dies laughing::


    There are a lot of reasons a sociopath would help someone in my opinion. Most of those are reasons that ultimately benefit them like; potential for future favors, to ease their life/occupation, to look good in the eyes of others, etc.

    You can also just help people without having any particular reason. I don't think everything always has to be about motivation. Even sociopaths can just go with the moment and events that surround them. Just because you don't empathize with people doesn't mean you can't recognize a situation that you could assist in and go with it.

    Then there's an interesting experience that I have fairly often. I help people out all the time. I tend to help other people more than I help myself. Putting a lot of time, effort, and energy into them. And yanno what? It can get pretty damn annoying. Helping can be annoying. Even when I volunteer, willingly volunteer, I can be annoyed by it. Does this happen to anyone else?

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    1. Don't forget, being entertained/distracted. Well, at least that's why I've done a lot of "good" and helpful stuff. Then again, I'm not a sociopath...

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    2. Yes... my length of charitable volunteer work is always short because it will start to become annoying rather quickly. It gets to be work!

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    3. so you're basically sending the message that everyone else is more valuable than you. learn to say no. time is precious.

      people need to do things for themselves anyway. they'll only resent you back at the end of the day.

      and you know, there's helping and there's filling a need to show how smart or competent you are. i mean i would hate to be the one being helped and having to feel all grateful about it. better way to fill it is by helping yourself.

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    4. Point, Zoe...

      However, with a lack of impulse control sometimes I find myself helping out before I know what the fuck I am doing... then I think, "What the fuck am I doing? This is WORK!" and I am a naturally lazy person.

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    5. is it lack of impulse control or just habit/reflex? it sounds like you're trained to help. .

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  8. Replies
    1. AIDS... Spread the love.

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  9. I have to set rules up for these kind of things. Oh, if I see a beggar then I will give them some money. If I see a person faint, I will get closer and check if he/she ok. If I see someone upset or about to cry, I approach and lighten up his/her mood. I have to appear sympathetic while doing the task to not let anyone know that I actually don't have any feeling in the moment. So tiresome.

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  10. Haven 12:16 PM – JS 4:55 PM

    You and the others who posted after show much similarity in terms of kindness. It was just yesterday I had a long discussion with my sociopath buddy and had the chance to ask many questions. Kindness was one of the topics. I think he is naturally kind and helpful. At one point I thought that he allows people to use him because he willingly helps and show kindness. It just does not make sense to me at times and I am a kind empath. As his buddy he will do anything for me and I treat him well. If he realize that a person takes his kindness for granted then it can be offensive to him. I do believe that after a while he gets tired of being kind or let me say annoyance sets in if a person keeps coming back to him every time for help. But he does help people in a significant way.

    I asked him if he uses kindness as a means of control and power and he said no. I accepted the “no” because I have know him for a long time and his kindness is consistent. I also asked if he feels anything special when he shows kindness and “no” was the response. Personally I have seen where at times he uses kindness to his advantage. He used it to impress others at times for whatever reason. (Females or important people). The level of kindness he shows to some people actually makes such persons return the favour to him in a big way. For example. My friend has some of the nicest piece of clothing and jacket suits, yet he did not buy any. He has more clothes than he is able to wear. Dress clothes, casual wear, formal wear. People who travel brought them back for him but to me he has earned it because he was kind to them. I don’t know if he targets particular family members, friends and such to be kind to for his own benefit. He does help the less fortunate if in a position to do so. One thing though. Although he is kind he does not ask for anything but the kindness is done in a way which prompt you to return it. “The big irony is that he is very kind but quite ungrateful.” In the sense that he doesn’t say “thank you” much but it depends. My kindness to him is such that he now takes it for granted and doesn’t express thanks or gratitude anymore. During the earlier days of the friendship he would always say thanks or show gratitude. I know now that I was been mirrored. Anyway we just laughed when I told him that he is kind but ungrateful.

    From my experience with my buddy I do believe that some sociopaths are naturally kind and helpful. My buddy will feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and such.

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  11. Can you relate? Would you hurt a person if he/she makes you feel embarrassed or small.

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    Replies
    1. No. You sock that info away and pull out a duplicate of their shenanigans when you absolutely need control. IOW you pick your battles selectively.

      If they complain about the above maneuver, you can give them example after example after example of when they did the same and you'd let it go. Trust me, they don't do it again.

      Because they know if you said something you mean it. Ultimately people don't want to displease you if they've been hanging with you for so long. If they stop. you can keep them. If they don't, they're off your list of the ones worthy of ur time.

      Nine times out of ten they come back and kiss your feet.

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    2. *when they'd done the same

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    3. Thanks, good Sir.

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  12. Christmas was coming and our regulars wanted someone to kiss under the mistletoe.

    Monica asked LA about the bulge in his pocket i.e paperback book. He was reluctant to talk, but Monica had such a friendly manner that it reminded him that he WAS lonely. She seemed very approachable and not like a girl who makes a man play a million damn games.

    One day, she brought home made blueberry muffins and put them in the staff room, next to the coffee. She asked him if he would like one, when he walked in to get his bottled water.

    A momentary burst of courage made him ask her if she wanted to meet at Barnes and Noble, this Saturday. She said she loved B and N, and that was that.

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    Replies
    1. Awww, how sweet!

      The writing's great, but this is going to turn into the world's mushiest cuddle fest, isn't it? They aren't going to call each other "Schmoopie" I hope.

      Might make good candidates for some kinky sex. Those calm waters can mask a rip current ;)

      L.A.

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    2. Exactly ^^

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  13. Raven watched Elicit bend over to pick up a crumpled piece of paper which missed the wastebasket. Damn, her body was good. Raven knew she had what it took to attract, but did she have what it took to make it stick. Sex was fine. Sex was great. Sex was the mountain come to Mohammed, but Raven did not need another thrill She had racked up at dozens and dozens. Damn, she was good, but numbers are just that.

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  14. Zoe had what it took to make M.E take a second look. Most woman were in the fuckable category. M.E. liked a fine looking woman, with a fine body, but these were a dime a dozen to a man like him. Intelligence was what he craved, that and wit. He, also, liked a certain vulnerability which was rare in the hard bitten woman of today. M.E was a romantic, even though he would never admit it and his friends would laugh. He was tired of the game. Any game gets old, when you play it enough.

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  15. Haven would get drunk at night and call Franklin. Franklin told her that it must stop because Mary would find out.

    Rich plopped down at his desk at 9 AM on Thursday morning. He pulled up the Bluebird files on the computer and jotted down her phone number.

    Edvard greeted the patients, as they filed in on Wed. morning at 9 AM. If there was an old lady who needed an arm, Edvard would give it. If there was coffee to make for Monica or Zoe, Edvard would remember the proper number of sugars.

    Every morning, Edvard picked up homemade banana or zucchini bread at the natural food bakery. Each morning, the staff found one of Edvard's treats in their staff room, paid for with Edvards own money.

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    Replies
    1. OMG I'm such a nice guy! :D

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  16. Which Regular wants to volunteer for really kinky stuff? I don't want to use someone who doesn't want it :P

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    Replies
    1. I don't even think most of these that you've so conveniently included here actually 'want it', some may consider it offensive even.

      A shame, really, you should at least have the decency to make certain who does and who does not want to play a role in this novel of yours.

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    2. This is getting too complicated. I will write it, as I want. If anyone wants to be taken out, tell me. Geez, You guys are a tough bunch.

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    3. Surely you see how it may save us all the embarrassment, as in Alia's case...

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    4. Sure, this is just for fun. So, if someone does not like it, I respect that, of course.

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    5. Alia doesn't follow the comment section so that's why it took longer until she said something, but other regulars can say they want out sooner.

      And the characters have nothing to be embarrassed about, it's the author's sick fantasies that are being told here. Now we know how Monica was fingerbanged by her mother in the bathtub and how she would suck a man off, for example.

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    6. Establishment B advertised for a Girl Friday. Edvard found a comfortable niche. Medusa was Medusa. They needed someone to do what needed to be done, from cleaning toilets to taking little old ladies to their cars with a kind word or two.
      A classically looking gay man walked in. He moved his hips with a flourish. His high pitched voice sounded like that of a young girl. His name was UKan and he was perfect for the job.

      He was given a short black skirt and white blouse and told that he should put these on, with sensible black shoes, so he would not slip when doing bathroom chores. UKan could start today, as someone had had an accident in the toilet.

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    7. Whatever happened to
      respect, hm?

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    8. LMAO at UKan character!

      Please don't pair me with him haha! I think no one on the site deserves to be paired with him... A new, disgusting character should be used just for that!

      Delete
    9. UKan meets a Mongoloid gay lover named Mongo. Then, we will have Gay sex with a Dom and a Sub. UKan can be the Sub.

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    10. I am not up for male gay sex. We will put that on the back burner ~

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    11. So much for sanity.

      No surprise there...

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    12. Whoever is bad has UKan give him fellatio in the toilet.

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    13. Sofa, that was fucking hilarious!
      You are really coming into your own with these stories.

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    14. How long will this continue.

      I'm curious, how long have you been trying to reason with her?

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    15. Thank you, Literary Anon :) :)

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    16. Ukan in french maid outfit lololol

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  17. How about TNP :D

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    Replies
    1. TNP will never willingly participate. You should know better than that by now.

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  18. Rich found himself pulling up the Bluebird files when no one was around. Rich had a highly tuned conscience and it was screaming at him. "You were hired for your integrity. You were hired to protect and serve these people. They have been good to you. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???????" Rich listened, but continued to look up Bluebird, first once a day, then twice, then whenever he could. One day, he made up his mind, he would call her. The next day, he made up his mind he would go to her house.

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  19. Someone needs to burn that fucking sofa.

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