Monday, January 30, 2012

Crying

This is going to date me (and possibly make me sound like I have terrible taste in movies), but I remember watching City of Angels when it came out.  (Actually I had seen the sequel to the original first, and was very confused.  Film depictions of fallen angels always remind me of sociopaths, a la the Meet Joe Black angel of death -- to complete the bad 90s romantic comedies references.)  But in the City of Angels version, the fallen angel asks the Meg Ryan character about crying:

Seth: Why do people cry? 
Maggie: What do you mean? 
Seth: I mean, what happens physically? 
Maggie: Well... umm... tear ducts operate on a normal basis to lubricate and protect the eye and when you have an emotion they overact and create tears. 
Seth: Why? Why do they overact? 
Maggie: [pause] I don't know. 
Seth: Maybe... maybe emotion becomes so intense your body just can't contain it. Your mind and your feelings become too powerful, and your body weeps.  

Here's what a sociopath reader wrote about it:


I think I can recognize it, but I do honestly get confused when a person cries. My sister is always crying during a movie called animal farm. I assume she is sad because I personally know she loves animals, and in that movie a lot of animals are tortured, killed. If I was not aware of her liking animals, I would be a little confused to her crying, because people cry when they laugh, and when they are angry. I always figured she was pissed at the movie, and thus cried. If she did not love animals as obsessively as she did (as in I didn't know her on a personal level), that would be my first conclusion. That makes more sense to me, to be so frustrated or angry, that she would cry. I've seen people so pissed that they cry. I was so frustrated once that I cried, part of it was forced, but I cried nonetheless. Vanessa cried all the time, but I'm not exactly sure why now that I think about it. It may have been anger. People cry due to pain right? Sadness is a form of pain? I think that's what you were saying.

When I watched Passion of the Christ (hilarious movie, also tedious and somewhat redundant), I chuckled, and smiled, and wanted to laugh. Those around me were crying. I heard the sniffles, saw the wiping at their eyes, and naturally I knew they were upset. It did confuse me, I didn't know specifically why they were crying, but they were. It grew annoying very quickly. One time in church when I was visiting family in the east coast the preacher was preaching his bull, and people around me started to convulse, and cry. This confused me more than any other experience of people crying (I was a child btw when this happened). I still can't come to a rational explanation of their crying other than it was fake, and these people didn't want to be the out casts. That's why I did it. I did cry that day, but only after everyone else was at it for a while. I watched my mother, who was crying, I watched those fainting around me, I watched my sister, who was crying. Then I studied her, hard, and tried to think of something that could make me cry. I tried to think of a time that I cried, and all I was able to come up with was when I was in physical pain. So I hurt myself. When no one was paying attention I used the bottom of my palm and pushed harshly upward right underneath my nose, which caused me to tear up. Then I thought of how my sister looks when she cries, looked at everyone else's expression when they were crying, and did that, mixed with the tears I produced because I hit myself. Once everyone stopped, and settled down, I put off the act, and once we left, I was confused, disturbed. I just, in general, don't like church scenarios. The fact that a mass of people can use mob mentality and conform to emotions that I don't think any are actually feeling is beyond me. I remember asking my mother why everyone was crying, and she told me they were feeling the spirit. How? How can you feel something that isn't there? A spirit meant nothing to me because it was not a solid physicality, existing (as in I can see it) thing, so how can you feel for something that isn't there?

214 comments:

  1. This is a really lovely post. The reader's description of his/her thought process is actually kind of moving somehow, and I can certainly relate to a lot of it.

    Me, I think crying is not so much about sadness as it is an expression of and a reaction to (and perhaps even an acceptance of) powerlessness. So yes, I think being really angry or frustrated or not in control can make someone cry. All that probably is the cause of sadness, anyway, for those that are capable of it.

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  2. People cry at a lot of things. Sometimes they don't even know why they're crying because so much shit has piled up they stopped keeping tabs.

    I wouldn't say I was abnormal with my crying. Recognizing why people were crying isn't a big mystery, but can I emotionally intuit why? No.

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  3. Not a sociopath, and actually a devout Christian, but I can totally sympathize with the reader on the whole crying in church deal. I've never felt 'moved by the Spirit' (even though I believe it does exist) and have always felt deep inside that most people that cry in church or raise their hands or whatever are only doing it to keep up appearances. I don't doubt their faith or the legitimacy of their emotions otherwise; I've just never understood how so many people could feel moved in such a way so consistently.

    Medusa: Powerlessness? ...Yeah, that could definitely be it. I'm trying to think of a time that I've cried that couldn't be interpreted as a feeling of powerlessness and I'm drawing a blank. And I cry ALL the time.

    I think it's also a release. There's something very relaxing and satisfying about finally losing control and crying your eyes out. I wonder if there is an evolutionary explanation for that, like how most positive bodily functions have a pleasurable sensation associated with them (I believe ME wrote on that subject once). That would certainly explain why some people enjoy watching sad movies.

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  4. Crying demonstrates certain emotions. It's a signal we send to people to inform them of an internal state, like any other facial expression. The exact purpose of it is most likely to illicit sympathy and aid, or at least attention.

    Sad and cry, triggers the empathetic response of others to help.
    Happy and cry, triggers others to come look at whatever is so great and also reap it's benefits.

    Either way increases chances of survival and therefore chances of reproduction.

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  5. "christian"

    Why do we need to know you are a christian ? Is that suppose to matter to anyone other than you ?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Is the reader ocd? They repeat themselves to an obsessive degree. Is this by David or something?

    Moving? Did I miss something? I was particularly amused by the disdain and adherence to conformity. This person sounds uniquely oppressed, and probably damaged by the failed indoctrination process. Something about this whole post seems bizarre and unnatural to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because they sound like an aspie.

      Delete
    2. I agree. With both of you.

      Delete
  7. It qualifies my opinion as not being from someone who finds the whole religion odd. You might as well ask why I mentioned not being a sociopath. The point was that unlike the reader I'm an insider and it doesn't make sense to me, either.

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    1. The only thing you did was presuppose the existence of god, specifically yours. And I know you are not a sociopath. It's as evident as the lack of evidence for your god claim.

      Now go away, you are boring.

      Delete
    2. Religion qualifies you as a nut job, nothing more.

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    3. The point, idiot straw man anon, is that even a Christian can find some Christian behavior to be odd and sometimes inauthentic, even if they don't think the religion itself is odd.

      Did you even read the blog post?

      Delete
    4. No? Why would I read a blog post that is of no interest to me ? Much like your comment, uninteresting, as are you. Like, how many profiles does one person need before they understand they are idiots themself. Defending your own Anon post is pathetic at best.

      Delete
    5. Good christ you are a failure.

      Delete
    6. Haha, I was kind of wondering when someone would pull the 'alt' card.

      Delete
  8. Crying is a type of physical loss of control. Not powerlessness but emotional overwhelm. Like when extreme fear causes one to urinate. It's a vulnerability thing. People feel emotionally overwhelmed and it destabillizes them. That's why intimacy is achieved with long term partners you trust enough to open up to about your emotional instabilities and overwhelming thoughts. It's safer. Crying is a loss of control from an emotional. Similar to laughing. Or yelling when you hit someone. It's a manneristic form of expression.

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    Replies
    1. I don't think crying is a loss of control, I think it's a reaction to a loss of control.

      And what is the difference really between loss of control, powerlessness, and emotional overwhelm?

      Delete
  9. For most people, crying has very little to do with eliciting sympathy, when they are being genuine. Everyone probably does do that sometimes in their lives, but crying for sympathy is merely acting, even if it's being done subconsciouly. I wouldn't even call it crying, I would call it 'forcing water out of your eyes'. Otherwise, why would so much crying happen when a person is alone, especially the most painful sort?

    Besides, there has to be a reason why crying in front of another person would elicit their sympathy in the first place, because it sure does look and sound freaky and scary and makes people look literally retarded and ugly if you look at it completely objectively.

    Perhaps it's the body's attempt to desperately (and all at once) adjust to and accept reality, as I stated above. The same way phlegm is purged when you have a cold. The phlegm itself is not the virus or the disease, but is rather a sign of the body's attempt to remove said virus, by adjusting to it's presence/reality (by forming a white blood cell army) with the goal of removing it. One could say that crying is the physical manifestation of a psychological phlegm, with the goal of removing the disease/virus of powerlessness.

    Or, maybe it's a sort of a Blue Screen of Death reaction, as a person's psyche often cannot easily process a feeling of complete powerlessness, as it is antithetical to basic survival. Crying is a state of high alert, a state of shock, a reaction to what could be perceived as a complete and total psychological ambush.

    Maybe crying is the body's version of a psychological rebellion, because complete powerlessness equals death, according to our base instincts. An army of tears.

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    1. I never cry for sympathy. I never cry in front of people at all if I can avoid it. The only time I release like this is if I'm alone. The only way someone actually sees me cry is if I'm already crying and they intrude on the experience.

      Even if I'm alone I hate to cry. I was raised to suppress my emotions and believe this was an unnecessary and unproductive response. It's probably why my eventual break downs are so bad, because I suppress, suppress, suppress, until I can't anymore so the resulting explosion has so much more built up behind it.

      I feel like it's a weakness. I believe it is. But I also think this may be faulty thinking.

      Delete
  10. Fuck this new layout!

    There's a trick to it. The captcha bar doesn't usually pull up my keyboard, but if I'm lucky and it does then I have to fill it in, go back to edit and then hit publish. The most frustrating part though is the fact that clicking on the text bar doesn't do anything... Sometimes. And I can't move or navigate or refresh without it keeping my text, so I can't do anything about it but get frustrated and hit the thing a million times until it pulls it up. I'm over it!

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    1. Yeah, on my phone I've found you can't jump around in the text box to edit your comment while you are typing it without leaving the text box and going back to it every time, making sure to click on the exact spot where you want to edit when going back to it, because otherwise the cursor stops doing anything and it won't even allow you to continue typing.

      Delete
  11. Medusa: Why smile when nobody is looking, why laugh is nobody is looking? Like most emotional displays it's an evolved signal that emerges, not a learned mannerism. All evidence about "normies" suggests for them it can be managed but not controlled.

    Smiling evolved most likely as a way of demonstrating ones harmlessness, brandishing your pathetic teeth to show you aren't a threat. That's why most animals that smile do so as a threat. Snarls on the other hand typically don't reveal how big your teeth are, which is why they are a threat: It's an evolutionary bluff of "I could bite you and do harm".

    So tears could easily have evolved as a way of attracting sympathy. Doesn't mean it's the conscious desire, it's just what the body does when in certain emotional states.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You may be right, I don't know, I'm mostly just throwing theories around but I'm not really attached to any of them.

      In all cases I do stick by my powerlessness theory, though. Which doesn't preclude your hypothesis. If you feel/are powerless, then you may need help from others.

      Delete
    2. ...and the more I think about it, the more your explanation is the Occam's Razor to mine.

      Delete
  12. I don't think crying is powerlessness.

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    Replies
    1. I responded to this on your previous comment above.

      Delete
    2. I was thinking of any time I've cried and I cannot think of a time I felt powerlessness when crying. I think perhaps that's your personal trigger or something. I've cried when I was misunderstood. Which I think must be my trigger with how much I value understanding.

      Delete
    3. I've cried when I was misunderstood.

      But here you prove my point. You are powerless to be understood, so you cry. If you thought you had other options, you'd be doing them instead of crying. And as I said, it's a temporary state of feeling powerless.

      I'm not saying you are incorrect, and I don't think you are, I'm just trying to get to the foundation upon which one's foundation is built, if that makes sense.

      Delete
    4. I think it's also possible to feel powerless, even if you know logically that you are not. Might have something to do with fear of the options that are available.

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    5. I think that isn't the right foundational stone. I was misunderstood. Saying that powerlessness is what caused me being misunderstood seems like a stretch to me. Crying is an act of submission, but not to powerlessness, because if that were the case people would always react one of two ways when crying. It'd evoke a fight or flight response every time you cry. Maybe I just don't cry enough. And honestly I don't care about the philosophical underpinnings as to why we cry. Maybe I just haven't thought enough about it to see the underlying powerlessness, but either way it seems far fetched. I consider crying to be the same as laughing. An emotional response manifested physically at a threshold of emotions.

      Delete
  13. I am a empath and a Christian. This is one man's opinion on crying and on obnoxious behavior in church.

    I think crying was put into the human as a release valve for pain. It is akin to the pressure cooker valve which releases steam, so the whole pan will not blow to Kingdom Come, pardon the pun. In a similar vein, I think laughing was put in the human because life does not make sense, and laughter allows us some coping mechanism for that.


    I do not go to church. The worse and most inauthentic people will be found in the church walls.
    Church, to me, is one or two close friends who share my faith and the talks I have with them. I hate herd mentality, whether it be in a church or on SW.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. "I do not go to church. The worse and most inauthentic people will be found in the church walls.
      Church, to me, is one or two close friends who share my faith and the talks I have with them."

      Monica this may be one of the most intelligent things I think you've ever said here. I'm not x-tian but I think this is probably the proper way to practice. Living the lessons, not just showing others in a group that you believe.

      Delete
    2. Thank you Haven. That means a lot to me!

      Delete
  14. i can't remember the last time i cried, nothing affects me tbh. also, when i was a baby i rarely cried.

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  15. Falling angel thing is more like the borderline, because they actually suffer, sociopaths don't and sociopaths never had empathy, so how can we say they were once good? Good turned evil would make a heartwarming nice story for the empaths, but the truth is sociopaths never had empathy. That's why it's incurable, because they have always been that way.

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    Replies
    1. Perhaps it's the Lucifer connection, which is what people usually think of with regards to fallen angels. He was thrown out of heaven because he was a sociopathic angel and was trying to make himself more powerful than God as he wasn't content to be merely an angel.

      Delete
    2. Fallen Angels are nothing like Borderlines.

      Angels are a pretty vindictive lot to begin with. People think they're all the cute little chubby cherubim floating around.

      Fail. Most of the Angels are assholes or really freaking bizarre.

      Seraphim, Dominions, Thrones, Powers, Principalities, and Archangels aren't beings I'd want to play around with.

      Delete
    3. Yeah angels are pretty sociopathic to begin with in a weird way. Theres no right and wrong theres only gods word. They have no free will. So whatever their domain, they defend it fiercely and relentlessly. No remorse. No mercy.

      Delete
    4. Sociopaths don't defend anything, you corny idiot. A sociopath would get out of a burning house first without even thinking of risking his life for his children.

      Delete
    5. Leprechauns and fairies bring a whole new meaning to the word "Sociopath"

      Delete
    6. Anon 8:30, according to scripture, angels were made perfect, but with complete free will and free moral agency.

      Delete
  16. Alterego WAS a sociopath and she is not, now. Where would she fit, if one has such rigid categories?

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    1. Was? Says who and with what evidence?

      Delete
    2. Alterego said she has psychopathic traits, plus I don't believe her, I'm not an idiot who believes everything that's said, like so many on here. I judge from experience.

      Delete
    3. Has she really STOPPED being a sociopath? Can someone stop? I get the impression that she is actively working to change her behavior, but she still thinks like one. But that's a little bit presumptuous of me to say, because I can't possibly know what truly goes on inside her head.

      Would you mind elaborating a little on why you believe you're no longer a sociopath, Alterego?

      Delete
    4. I like how you come in with random Anon's and ask a question, so you can come in with your "alterego" and appear cool with your preplained reply. How pathetic!!!

      Delete
    5. It is Alter's place to label and unlabel herself as she chooses.

      Delete
    6. And then there's the fact that she's a narcissistic.

      Delete
    7. Oooooooook.. I said I wouldn't comment for a few days and mean to extend my hiatus, so I will not comment meaningfully on this post, other than to say I don't cry much. (To the point where the person who is purportedly my best friend has asked me if I *ever* do. I do, but not often.)

      I will keep up with whatever discussions interest me, but I must not allow sw to consume too much time at this particular juncture in my life. I have some serious shite going down. Good stuff, requiring my full and unadulterated attention.

      However, I will not come in and post anything as "anon"- ever. It would defeat the purpose of my transparency experiment here altogether. So believe whatever you want, but I think anon posters are cowardly. I have no inhibitions whatsoever concerning anything I post and will always choose to own my words here. I am personally impervious to anything written about me on this forum; I just don't care.

      As for the "why I think I have socio traits", I can't and won't rehash it all now. I have something very important going on and I don't want to get distracted. I was diagnosed at 15 with odd and have always struggled with antisocial tendencies. 'Nuff said; it's all in the archives. If you have enough interest or time to waste, go look it up, or something.

      Good day sw! When I choose to post again, I will own my pixels, as always.

      Delete
    8. Yep. Sure is a lot of 1st person pronouns in that comment. That's the sorta shit your are supposed to write in your diary, or on your own self-indulgent blog. That's what they are there for.

      I am this. I am that. Can't really take anyone seriously who feels the need to tell people who they are, let alone assume that everyone is waiting with bated breath to hear it.

      Delete
  17. Before it was annoying with the word verification thing. Now... it doesn't come up until you attempt a post. I don't like the reply to each comment thing, because it was easier to just refresh and see the next comment, or the '@whoever' reply. It's just one more thing that causes me to not follow as much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why do you really care so much about it ? Why don't you do something with your life rather than comment on a stupid web site for retards.

      Delete
    2. ...so says the non replying to every comment who has nothing better to do than to fail at trolling.

      Delete
    3. ...a failure when you are replying to each one ? lol.

      Epic

      Delete
    4. Yes, a failure at trolling and projection.

      Delete
  18. My jeans is a sociopath it's choking my balls to death.

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    Replies
    1. So your boyfriend "Jean" is choking your balls to death? Sweet... pictures or it didn't happen.

      Delete
  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  20. o.... I'm looking looking around at some of the newer SocioFreemason twitter followers, and apparently Zwang is now a female going by the name "Numby" and has a new blog called "Fuck, I think I'm a Psychopath. Seriously."

    Now she's saying she thinks she is a psychopath but is not sure, and also admits to having been raped. And references World of Warcraft several times.

    She's married all of her imaginary personalities into one!

    Amazing.

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    Replies
    1. The story socio or psychopath, seems written from parts of videos I have watched on the subject. And at a time where his/her other blog site has died.

      Delete
    2. Comments have to be approved as well. LOL

      Delete
    3. LOL Comments have to be approved. Thank God for that

      Delete
    4. When Zwahq first started the Psychopathic Writing blog I believe he/she/it was trying to deny the psychopath diagnosis by failing to refute all points that pointed towards the diagnosis.

      To be a psychopath you must be "A".
      Z, "Clearly I'm not a psychopath because here is how I am not "A". {Explaination} Just because I do "A" 95% of the time doesn't mean that I'm a psychopath".

      Delete
    5. Doesn't matter, someone can just smear Zwangs crap all over SW instead which has a hell of a lot more visibility anyway. Anyone visiting that blog will certain show up here at some point, if they haven't already.

      Delete
    6. Obviously, he/she is struggling with his identity. More power to him.

      Delete
    7. No that was actually me. I have two e-mail accounts for my blog. One for research and one to receive mail from Readers. I keep them seperate to help myself organize better. Sometimes I just forget to log off of the one if I'm answering letters at the time.

      Delete
    8. I like the PCLR right away, must get that out of the way, so the reader KNOWS Zhawq.... I mean "Numby" scored over 30 on a self test over a few bags of bon bons.

      Zhawq, really lol.

      Delete
    9. Oh Monica, you can force yourself to see the good side of everybody, can't you? Your fantasies may make everything seem more beautiful, but it's also a trap you set for yourself. Once you move past that, if ever, you may find a beauty that is much more profound.

      Zwang is more than just struggling with her identity. She is completely denying it. She is trying every way possible to make the square peg of who she is fit into the round hole that is psychopathy, because she's deeply traumatized for some reason and has abysmally low self-esteem. The longer she denies herself by "struggling with her identity" in this way, the sicker she will get, although I'm sure she believes otherwise.

      Hell is a place on Earth, my dear, and sometimes it comes in the form of other people, depending on who you are combined with who they are. Heaven and Hell sometimes can look almost exactly the same.

      Delete
    10. I really think you guys should take a moment to reflect on the progress and accomplishments you've made with such a seemingly hopeless case. Congratulations everyone, on such a surprising success.

      Delete
    11. Don't think I don't know it. Just humor my mania today. It'll pass.

      Delete
    12. progress and accomplishments on what?

      Delete
  21. Regarding crying, Numbys says:

    Until I figured out what I was I used to cry all the time, over stupid things, just tears would spring up. But never at a funeral. When there is death I can't seem to call up enough of whatever fuels tears.. but if someone said something mean to me or I got fired I would just start crying... and I couldn't stop the tears. In fact, I am still unsure if its even possible for anyone to feel the tears start to well up and then suppress them, because I've never once been able to do that.

    As I mentioned in my first post, I cry all the fucking time.

    Not when I hurt myself, never then. But any time a situation isn't going favorably the tears seem to spring up. I can't stop them from happening. Trust me, I've tried. It's not really connected to emotion though. I don't feel sad when I cry.. I feel like I want to look sad, and I feel angry sometimes. My current man, Danny, is confused by them a lot. They start and stop without effecting me at all. Me and him will have a fight, I'll start crying because I always do, we yell at each other, or he yells at me while I'm crying, then I get "too upset" and leave or my arguments frustrate him too much and he leaves. He started to notice that when I leave the room I don't keep crying. I stop immediately and get distracted by something else.

    When something upsets me it only upsets me while I'm crying, then I stop crying and logic my way through it, and all the bad feeling simply disappears. There is never lingering guilt, sadness.. I thought throughout my whole life that maybe I'm just really laid back. I thought I simply love everything so much that nothing much effects me. In reality.. while crying I'm putting on a show, convincing myself along with the person I'm crying in front of that I'm sincere. YAY NARCISSISM!

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    Replies
    1. I did that a few times in my life. Just a few. But the tears are real. Shit, having public sympathy in your corner is nice in a room with your arch nemesis waiting to take another bite. UFck THaT everyone here loves me very much. I am cLLLLLeearly freakn crrrying here.. we'll all go have dessert and talk about this later (..not lol)

      Delete
    2. A movie has never made me cry. Maybe I'm a robot, or something.

      Delete
    3. stop watching porno's then.

      Delete
    4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUMXJSOIksU

      Delete
  22. I've always found church amusing, but I have only been four or five times in my life. It is where I learned people actually believe in religion, and every time I am there it's like I am in an alien world. People do strange things there, and they believe things no rational human being would. And once it's all said and done, they come out of it feeling good and brag about having gone. They use it to label others as well. To somehow make the implication that sitting there makes you a good person.

    I really don't get it.

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    Replies
    1. I grew up completely nonreligious so I relate. Been to church maybe 3 times and synagogue maybe once.

      It's a really bizarre experience. Often made me break out in laughter, not so much because it's ha-ha funny, but just that it's so absurd.

      Beautiful at times, though. I wouldn't mind going to church every once in a while just for that austure Catholic beauty. But also the manic energy of a black Baptist church is something to behold as well; there's nothing else like it. The 'spirit' craziness tends to come from a more genuine place, I think, because of the role the church has played in the community and American history during and after slavery. Same reason da blacks tend to be known for having more 'soul' musically speaking. Same idea.

      I don't think it's necessary for the 'spirit' thing and the 'soul' thing to be a spiritual, metaphysical, or religious thing as it's commonly perceived, even within the confined of the church. It can be the manifestation of something more immediately real, only filtered through ritual and religion as a way to process it together, as a community, through a common language.

      Delete
  23. I know what you mean, MHM.

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  24. @Missus K
    No this post wasn't mine. The new format doesn't work for me, my browser almost shuts down because 'the script is running slow'. And it's not because I use old stuff, all my hardware and software are 1,5y old at max.

    So I won't be around much anymore. I'm sure some will love that.

    Tata

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    1. LOL ME's killing off the regulars.

      Delete
  25. lol, this is my new blog site everyone! Dr hare is closely watching !! He has me secretly under his wing, and studying me so he can figure how a REAL psychopaths mind works!

    Don't question me!!! I am a psychopath man!! Do you know what I can do to you ?????????? I'm scary!! And mean!

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  26. ::laughs:: Emo quote of the day “The rain falls because the sky can no longer handle its weight. Tears fall because the heart can no longer handle the pain.”

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    Replies
    1. DONT ARGUE WITH ME HAVEN!!!!!!! I AM A REAL PSYCHOPATH!!!!!! FEAR ME!!!!!!!!

      Delete
    2. Oh no mr. scary psychopath. don't use all caps on me! Not that!

      Delete
    3. I have ALL READY cold read you. I'm a psychopath and I am a PRO!!!! I know you better than you know yourself.

      I USE CAPS!!!! because when I do, I am YELLING! I get angry, it's in my traits.

      Delete
    4. OMG LYK WHY CANT I UZ SHIFT TO LYK PROPERLY CAPITALIZE MY SENTNCES?!?!? CAPS LOCK IS JUST LYK SOOOOO COOOOL THAT I MUST TYP EVRYTINK I EVR THINK OF WIT IT???!?!

      Delete
    5. Oh no! Don't cold read me! You might find out all my secrets and vulnerabilities that I spill all over my public blog willingly! Oh the horror of the psychopath!

      Delete
    6. @TCO... the Shift key is so overrated. You have to depress a whole extra key. Multiple times! We can't be having that amongst inane babbling.

      Delete
    7. Its ok, I don't think I am REALLY a psychopath. But still fear me! Because I got 33 on da PCLR

      Delete
  27. I'm all about the nature, in nature Vs nurture. I am the real deal ! And if it hadn't been for Sam Vakin, I would have never pretended to be a psychopath in the first place.

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    1. Hah. I had the same thought. Like she's trying to be the post-modern version of Vaknin, taking his whole stick one step further into Gaga territory.

      Delete
    2. Some of the "stories" he/she/it tells on the new page are clearly ripped off in parts from videos I have watched on youtube re: psychopathy. I guess if you are delusional enough, you might not notice how see through you actually are. Patterns of speech, he/she/it has slipped up a number of times, more recently with the "Rape" part.

      Delete
  28. i gots raped, and i didn even cry....... sigh

    ReplyDelete
  29. I think I mainly cry as one of four responses.
    Pain/strain/exertion - tears flow, but its just tears, not really crying
    Despair - sometimes simple crying, sometimes full on weeping - happens less since I got divorced lol
    Happiness/Joy - again just tears, not really crying
    Frustration - just tears or simple crying

    When I was younger, I was far more emotionally labile and histrionic. Since growing into who I am, notsomuch.

    ReplyDelete
  30. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMIQNz9Vsd8

    ReplyDelete
  31. Something is off with the site today. Keeps freezing. I think changes are a good thing when the change makes things easier. Not so much in this case.

    ReplyDelete
  32. One thing I like about this format is that you can look and respond to what interests you, as it is divided.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You then miss out on other comments up top, unless you go scrolling around looking. Pain in the ass, no time for that. And the word verify crap, what is the point if you already have a blog account. Making matter worse, this one doesn't even show until you try to send a post. More pain in the ass. Man, my ass is sore now. Not as sore as this Zhawq/Numby's is though.

      Delete
    2. dus socia moves like jagger?

      Delete
    3. yes just like jagger.

      Delete
  33. i really really really miss the old layout brah

    ReplyDelete
  34. Haven made a good point that this kind of layout is great for the type of blog where the blog owner likes to reply individually to commenters, but awful when a blog is used as a chat room like it is here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe ME doesnt like us using it as a chat room?

      Delete
    2. Maybe so. Well, this would keep down fighting which is good.

      Delete
  35. maybe she's sick of enabling us and is bored of the dynamic

    ReplyDelete
  36. Or maybe she just likes to watch us squirm.

    ReplyDelete
  37. For me, crying is super weird. I don't do it that often, because i am not sad or emotional. However, i do feel like i "cry" at some of the most odd times. I use the word "cry" in quotation marks because i dont even know if you can call it crying. Like... I'll just give examples. I'll lay on my side, and sometimes tear after tear will slowly escape my eye... like accidental tears, wondering where to go or when to be released. I cry the most when i am happiest- a funny situation, or comical scenarios on tv. Sometimes ill be having a typical conversation when a lone tear will stream down out of my eye. Wtf right? Its almost as though sometimes my body physically needs to cry, even though it is completely unattached to my emotional state.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like you're holding in your emotions. Are you bitter?

      Delete
  38. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VVukSCL0EE

    ReplyDelete
  39. What I have learned about being human from a sociopath?

    1. Never give advice. People already know every platitude. It is a cheap answer to someone's pain.Only give "advice", if asked directly.

    2.Let the person show who they are. Let them cry, emote, be angry, scream, whatever. All you need to do is be there.


    You know how many empaths can do this? Virtually NONE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know how many empaths can do this? Virtually NONE.

      Uh, then you are not really talking about empaths. You are projecting narcissism onto empaths, which is just... like huh? Do you really hate empaths that much that you project things that are the opposite of empathy onto them, against all logic?

      When you say you learned this from a sociopath, do you mean they told you this? Or you came to this conclusion yourself by conversing with them and observing them?

      Every wise man, smart grandmother, self-help book, emotionally mature person, and even Jesus, already knows #1 and #2. In fact, those are platitudes, too. You are talking about platitudes in the form of a platitude (#1), and then you offer them up here as veiled advice (#2). Irony, no?

      Yet, even as a Christian, you have to hear them from a sociopath in order to believe? Jesus isn't good enough for you?

      Delete
    2. Well, Medusa. One needs humans. So, no God is not enough for me.

      This is what I think, Medusa. It is not hard to heal. It is simple. However, 99% of empaths are afraid of their emotions. As such, they want to shut you down. It is subconscious, but this has been my experience, even with therapists. I put my opinions out for anyone who sees value in them.


      If you don't, that is your right. I have no problem with it.

      Delete
    3. Monica you do realize that platitudes are not actually advice, right? If you're giving out platitudes you're not listening very well. True advice never comes in the form of a platitude. It's constructive and informative.

      Let the person show you who you are. You needed a sociopath to show you this? Anyone that is even mildly self-aware could figure this one out.

      Delete
    4. So Monica, when are you going to admit that you are Erin?

      Delete
    5. Well, Haven, if your way is working for you, that is very good. That is all that matters.

      Delete
    6. Well, Medusa. One needs humans. So, no God is not enough for me.

      I can understand that. I can even understand if maybe someone felt that Jesus can come in many forms, and manifest himself in everyday life, and perhaps that is the way he operates in the world.

      It is not hard to heal. It is simple.

      Simple, maybe, but 'not hard'? Really? If that was true in your case, I'd doubt you'd still be here, repeating many things many many times, and you would instead be seeking out people who you can respect who will respect you back, the empaths who aren't afraid of their emotions, because they do exist, you know.

      However, 99% of empaths are afraid of their emotions.

      You must have only ever been surrounded by assholes, because that is a huge generalization, and based on what? 99%, really? Where did you get that statistic from? From what I know of you, you are afraid to leave the house, so how would you even know? There are 7 billion people in the world. And why 'empaths'? Why not just 'people'? I think you are basing your conclusions on one or two people who have mind-fucked you at some point in your life, and you think they represent 99% of mankind.

      Also, emotions mature, too, if you let them. Perhaps some bit of being afraid of your emotions is healthy, as long as you can reflect on your fear in order to let them mature and grow. Otherwise you will stay stuck if you stay true to your emotions 100% of the time. You become a slave to a stunted version of yourself and your existence stays static and frozen in time forever.

      As such, they want to shut you down.

      You can't knowingly come to a place where people will shut you down, and then complain about it.

      That just means you love being shut down. That's okay; apparently I love dead horses.

      Delete
    7. Everyone is entitled to her opinion and we all gave ours. See you all, later :)

      Delete
    8. I've never known anyone who is more afraid of their emotions than you are.

      And that is my unsolicited opinion.

      Cheers.

      Delete
    9. You Do love dead horses, Medusa. But I'm sure it's justifiable somehow.
      And now that I've made some of the new, so hyper-aware of her... I think I'll just sit back and watch everyone else get annoyed by her from now on.

      Delete
    10. It's useful, but not necessarily justifiable.

      Delete
    11. I was being sarcastic.
      Here... ~
      Better? :p

      Delete
    12. My response was in response to your sarcasm.

      No tilde necessary.

      Delete
    13. I wonder if she's like a crying machine...
      Addiction to emotion. Her socio gf thinks her emotions are beautiful. I say... fascinating even.

      Delete
    14. What do you mean by afraid of their emotions? Could you give me an exemple?

      Delete
    15. @Haven Alice Miller brought the concept of the Enlightened Witness to the fore. I am talking about that concept, in my posts. It seems like nonsense to you, I know. If you are interested, Alice Miller's classic book is "Drama of the Gifted Child". She has a wonderful website, too. If you are not interested, perhaps you could have a modicum of respect for one of the foremost experts in healing childhood abuse. Perhaps, not. In any case, here is the info.

      Delete
  40. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  41. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Themes for SW Reg's "Event Series"January 30, 2012 at 5:15 PM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0wcZxX6kq0

    Theme Song for "Who is Monica?"

    ReplyDelete
  43. @Blog

    My whole personal world has to be burning down before I cry. A fuck load of shit has to be going wrong, and all at once. Even then it will be tears of absolute rage.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Who is Zhawq ? You people keep commenting on my blog, and saying hurtful things. Do I know you ? Say away from my web site you losers!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poor baby! No one hurt the "psychopath"s feelings or she'll pretend to cry!

      Delete
  45. Numby's Dark PassengerJanuary 30, 2012 at 5:55 PM

    Yeah! Or I'll behead my own penis!!!

    ReplyDelete
  46. chill, examine your navel. universal consciousness is where it it all ends. hare krishna. from frankfurt f

    ReplyDelete
  47. you fall in love with a person, not a 'thing' monica. You are so questionable? lol. You are an annoying sychophant on this blog, i'm sorry, but that's how it comes across. Please, e-mail me, i'm not joking....E-mail me so i can actually take you seriously. Delilamiller2@gmail.com.

    Let's settle this crap once and for all.

    ReplyDelete
  48. lol notme I don't suck up. I say what I think.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ok, babe, as long as it's truly genuine, then ok.

      Delete
    2. notme I like you very much. You are the real deal and I have a lot of respect for the real deal :) :)

      Delete
  49. "One day I'll fly away
    Leave all this to yesterday
    Why live life from dream to dream?
    And dread the day when dreaming ends"

    ReplyDelete
  50. ME PLEASE, IF YOU WANT US TO KEEP COMMENTING THEN PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, CHANGE THE FORMAT BACK SINCE 99% OF PEOPLE HERE CANNOT STAND THE NEW FORMAT. I BEG YOU. IT'S HIDEOUS AND ONLY WORKS FOR A SMALLER READERSHIP AND WHEN THE BLOG OWNER RESPONDS TO COMMENTERS, WHICH YOU DON'T. PLEASE............IT'S BEYOND AWFUL. if you don't change it, then i'll take that as a sign....:P

    ReplyDelete
  51. notme. this is your one true god speaking, M.E.
    i wish i could change the format. i really do. but i enjoy taking a shit on my flock of sheep too much to consider it.
    do go on worshiping me with reckless abandone

    ReplyDelete
  52. that'd be *reckless abandon* then

    M.E.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Going to buy a pie with sweetcheeks.

    ReplyDelete
  54. I can comment again, but now I don't want to.

    ReplyDelete
  55. I'm so fucking cool.

    ReplyDelete
  56. With a name like that, I'm sure you were a big hit on the playground.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Emotional tears are truly fascinating. There has been much research involving the chemical composition of the different types of tears our bodies produce. Reflex tears and emotional (psychic tears) are chemically different. Emotional tears have different proteins, and are higher in free radicals and unwanted toxic substances.

    So to cry emotionally, whether from sheer joy or deep sadness, benefits the body's overall health. People who are uninhibited criers show to have enhanced immune systems.

    So both figuratively and literally, emotional tears purge the body of toxicity, and cleanses the mind, body, and soul.

    After a good cry, I often have an overwhelming sense of peace and clarity.

    ReplyDelete
  58. This is what I have been talking about, Bizy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cool. Wasn't sure if someone had brought up the unique difference of the chemical composition of emotional vs reflexive tears.

      Glad you already brought it up. I was a little too lazy to sift through the 150 some odd comments & always tend to comment a bit late in the game.

      But I truly love the research on the subject. This research has also led me to other amazing, physiological facts about the human body as well. Good stuff!

      Delete
  59. Finally, someone who wants to talk about something more than stupid fighting :) Cure By Crying by Thomas Stone is a layman's version of the subject, imo.

    ReplyDelete
  60. TNP you there? have you cried about your cancer?

    ReplyDelete
  61. I don't how people can cry over a movie or a book. Especially a book. They are just words. Something I had always found odd is that I cry only if something really isn't going my way or if I have suppressed my anger or violent urges too long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's interesting to me. You express how you don't know how people can cry over a book that is made up of only words.

      And I wonder how people *don't.* Especially a very good book.

      I have a personal love of literature, and even a well written poem can move me to tears. If you can imagine that some people process thoughts more visually, and become more engaged with the work, then perhaps you can understand. I suppose being empathetic helps, also. When I read, the words literally leap from the page and pull images and fragments of my experiences. It is an engagement that feels like an intimate dance between myself and the words, and where I begin and the work ends becomes a blurry line.

      Does this require empathy? I don't know. Music can move me the same way, and much of what I've read about M.E. and the other socio's is that they have a unique and intimate relationship with music. But I'm not sure what the difference is, other than one work uses the medium of words, the other of melody.

      Delete
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