Sunday, January 8, 2012

Perfect prey (part 2)

(cont.):


From the beginning of high school she was extremely charming to the people that she wanted to be; she quickly made friends in the highest places, and this continued until she was eventually elected school captain. She is currently in a relationship with the school dux, and her scores were not much lower. Everyone knew her, and they either loved or hated her. Her relationships with teachers were generally not negative (they deemed her to be a 'know-it-all' and too combative for the classroom, later moving on to describe her as "manipulative, sitting in the back of the classroom orchestrating dramas..."), and the only teacher that she has ever really hit it off with was one that I consider to be dangerously needy, unprofessional and interfering in student lives. <-  Not that I consider that to be terribly relevant, but it does link with something else quite apparent in a number of her relationships over the years: 

She often became very close with students and teachers in vulnerable positions. It began by building a rapport of trust, having them confide in her, and her making them feel that she could 'carry' them. She is seen as fiercely protective by most, and she seemed to be magnetically drawn to people in this position - I myself went through an eating disorder, clinical depression, substance abuse and residential treatment during my friendship with her, in which our dynamics would completely mimic the ones that I am about to describe to you... After building the vulnerable's dependence on her she tends to pull back, and leave them with a little less of what they would like from her. Depending on the circumstances, there can be a bit of an effort on the vulnerable's behalf (in which they can become possibly more emotionally fragile - they wouldn't blame her though, they'd 'realise' that the solution lies with her and therefore want her back even more) until she finally gets sick of them and moves on to someone else. This has happened countless times. Similarly, while I also don't blame her for the problems I had, from the eating disorder onwards (when she and I first became close), the ups and downs in my situation were always, in some way, related to her.

Until now, I think, I seem to be either the weakest or the 'strangest' of all of her playthings. Either she has not completely abandoned me until this point because I have engaged in the cat and mouse for so long, or she still finds me interesting. She has described me as 'addictive' and a giant 'contradiction' (in contrast to the pill-popping and self harm, I tend to be regarded as the grounded, well groomed, 'pretty' drama captain - and drama is cool in Australia, hah), which is, of course, exactly as I would describe her.

M.E.: Ah, this is interesting.  I think a lot of people could relate to what you said of a sociopath being attracted to the vulnerability in you.  I don't know what it is about that.  I have experienced that before.  I like to say that I am attracted to people who have a certain susceptibility to my charms, which generally means people who are damaged.  I guess it's because I can become so important to them so quickly?  Also I tend not to worry as much about them outting me--because they are already so messed up, people tend to not credit much of what they say.  It's interesting that your socio friend is female.  I wonder if female sociopaths tend to be even more "nurturing" in the way they seek out their targets/intimates.

378 comments:

  1. This has nothing to do with the above post...

    But I went to a dance the other day and heard this song, and your blog came to mind. It seems to fit, so I figured I'd give it to you. Maybe you'll enjoy it. (Or appreciate, or whatever the appropriate verb is here.) ^_^

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvrTSZ-x_Pk

    -Jen, a curious empath

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  2. If you don't consider it relavent, why the arrow pointing to it?

    I strongly question the diagnoses of infatuated males.

    The closest I've come to dating a woman like me was when I tried to form a relationship with a girl who was abused by her father. She shirked back from touch, just like I do. She wanted cool, impersonal relationships, just like I do. But she wasn't like me. She was damaged by trauma, not inherently different.

    This guy "sounds" like a wussy to me. Who knows if this extraordinary college girl he met is a sociopath or not. The only thing that's certain is: He is a victim.

    M.E.'s comment about seeking partners who won't out him rings true. I can't trust anyone who follows a conventional (empathic) moral code. Such people are guided by emotion and therefore irrational, untrustworthy. I can at least trust criminal women to take what they want and be honest.

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  3. " I can at least trust criminal women to take what they want and be honest."


    hilarious

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  4. You think honesty is hilarious?

    How can you trust someone whose moral code is a) borrowed or b) irrationally motivated? I only trust those who build their beliefs from the ground up, free from societal command and emotional dictation.

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  5. no i think the statement is funny standing alone.

    I do trust honesty, more than anything in the world.

    People who are strictly guided by their emotions are fickle and can be more shallow than what you hear about so-called sociopaths.

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  6. Jen, I'd rather date a self aware asshole who tells me upfront they're bound to break my heart than some jerk who doesn't know what their patterns are.

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  7. @Post: This ties into the comment you made yesterday.

    For some reason, I am not surprised that you were not abused. You do not appear to be typical in any way, if I am to base myself on the way in which you project yourself on this forum.

    You appear incredibly cerebral. Might your emotional detachment be due to an unusually pronounced tendency to immerse yourself within your own mind, resulting in a profound attachment to intellectual constructs, as expressed within your chosen philosophical paradigm?

    You say that you are “locked” into a system that renders all existential inquiry irrelevant. This fascinates me. Do you ever feel that such pure, logical rigour constrains your mind, or are you simply liberated by the freedom it gives you to act as you see fit, because it provides a compelling means through which to rationalize antisocial actions?

    Are you gifted, perchance?

    Do you struggle with impulse control?

    And why on earth would you think applied mathematicians are lame? lol!

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  8. For me, honestly, I cannot see myself getting involved with a female sociopath because the sexual element would not be there. With my dear friend, I adore you. She has changed my life, perhaps, more than any single friend, ever. However, I cannot see myself getting hooked on her the way I have on male sociopaths, and I have, and badly. I noticed that she was busy over Christmas and I was, too. I did not feel that panic I have felt with men I have "loved". I would have a terrible void, if she dumped me, but not an obsessive void and there is a difference, as anyone who has been obsessed with a sociopath knows.

    The male sociopaths seem to hook you sexually, IF you are able to be hooked and I was.

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  9. Socios only hook you at the beginning. They repulse and scare, once they reveal their real views and personality. By this time they have decimated your confidence and made you dependent on them.

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  10. @Post: For some reason, I am not surprised that you were not abused. You do not appear to be typical in any way, if I am to base myself on the way in which you project yourself on this forum.

    You appear incredibly cerebral. Might your emotional detachment be rooted in an unusually pronounced tendency to live within your own mind, as expressed by a profound attachment to intellectual constructs, as they exist within your philosophical paradigm of choice? Have you consciously replaced affective biases with intellectual ones, because you feel they are superior?

    You say that you are “locked” into a system that renders all existential inquiry irrelevant. This fascinates me. Do you ever feel that such pure, logical rigour constrains your mind, or are you simply liberated by the freedom it gives you to act as you see fit, because it provides a compelling means through which to rationalize antisocial actions?

    Are you gifted, perchance?

    Do you struggle with impulse control?

    And why on earth would you think applied mathematicians are lame?

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  11. There's a deep psychological reason why sociopaths repulse and scare. I may not be able to explain in sufficient detail right now, but it has to do with the fundamental cosmological view of the empath.

    I'll try to explain:

    1. Everything that happens, happens within the mind. There is no distinct difference between real and imagined experience; sensory input stimulates the brain, which creates conscious awareness; but imaginary stimulus can also stimulate (we all know this via the imagined realism of dreams).

    2. We do not, nor can we ever, know that other human beings are conscious. Other human beings may be imaginary zombies.

    3. Yet, logic dictates, other beings like ourselves must experience life similarly.

    4. A solipsistic view of reality becomes feasible, despite an innate urge to imagine others exist.

    5. Therefore, if our own experiences AND those of others cannot be known to be real, we can at best conclude such information to be irrelevant. What, then, is real?

    6. Only the interrelationships BETWEEN conscious beings can be real.

    7. Therefore: Empathy.

    8. Because empathy is a human being's only solid grasp on reality, the creature incapable of empathy is a monster that threatens reality itself. This is a danger even for introspective sociopaths who realize the nature and meaninglessness of their own existence, because they may then decide life is not worth living and engage in destructive behaviors.

    I hope this makes sense. I've tried to make sense of it for years, but it's hard to put into words.

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  12. empaths take life too seriously. socios find the macabre funny, because they have no attachment to the victim.

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  13. the borderline has a consistent voice that tells her, you are a failure. the socio has a voice that says, you are a winner, you deserve everything.

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  14. martinlutherking of socipathsJanuary 8, 2012 at 2:38 AM

    Hell, I find the macabre funny sometimes even when I am attached to the victim. When my sister died in a car wreck her body was real messed up, nearly every bone broken. I imagined how the undertaker must have had to maneuver the broken pieces into the awful pantsuit they put her in, and I couldn't help but laugh. It's funny. Come on people.... Comic gold in my opinion

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  15. On Sunday, May 23, 1982, Michele Maday, 20, heard a knock at her Houston apartment door. When she opened it, a suspicious-looking man stood before her. Suddenly, the stranger attacked, beat and choked her into unconsciousness. While she lay on the floor, the man went to her bathroom, filled her tub with water, and then drowned her before running away.

    The stranger later said that he felt no emotions about taking the life of an innocent woman. His only fear was being caught.

    The attacker threatened to slash Melinda’s throat if she screamed. He then choked her until her body went limp. The man had no idea that she was just pretending to be unconscious.

    He took some hangers and wrapped Melinda’s hands behind her back and placed her on the bed. Then he wrapped Lori’s hands and feet with hangers. Hewitt, Stewart and Cosgriff claimed the man was so ecstatic that he had control over the two women that he jumped up and down clapping his hands.

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  16. Psychiatrists found that Coral lacked remorse for his actions and was impulsive, reckless and emotionally detached. However, they did not think he suffered from any kind of psychosis and believed that he was able to distinguish right from wrong. They eventually diagnosed him with anti-social personality disorder.

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  17. Anon 1:28 said: How can you trust someone whose moral code is a) borrowed or b) irrationally motivated? I only trust those who build their beliefs from the ground up, free from societal command and emotional dictation.

    Why do you "deify" rationality, and by consequence mistrust all concepts which may be inferred intuitively? Does this not unnecessarily restrict your deductive scope?

    Why do you think that your belief system must be free from societal command if, from an evolutionary perspective, we are purportedly moving toward a more unified, global consciousness?

    Why must this particular requirement be met?

    Is it not more rational to evaluate concepts on the basis of their respective merits and shortcomings, than pigeon-hole them into pre-existing intellectual constructs, if you wish to base your philosophy on pure logic?

    Have you ever heard of quantum entanglement?

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  18. Most of my attraction to the "broken" women always starts as interest. I've seen men who have what I can only describe as martyring themselves for a broken woman.

    Me? I find the broken women too interesting to observe and play with for me to want to fix them.

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  19. If you view yourself as a monster, you must also prop yourself up as a winner.

    If the borderline always says I'm a failure, he/she must always flip the coin to say "sure, but it's not 'real', I'm being seduced by my delusional thinking patterns." You must. It is completely wrong.

    If it is your wish to addict someone and have power over all things out of your hands, without a basic human connection you become adept at controlling yourself, adept at limiting interaction with people who can potentially harm you, adept at magical thinking. You always matter to come out ok this way. Your mind won't allow destructive people to affect your daily life, and the only real responsibility of self destruction lies within your self, your own mind.


    I think a borderline can flip into "normal" once in a while, or even obtain the occasional superiority complex.

    Doesn't a sociopath flip into distress? Shit happens to everyone. There is great strength in ferocity, but when someone is so aware they control, don't they wish to lose it? And isn't that one explanation for thrill seeking?

    Or is this all just a bunch of bullshit?

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  20. *They must

    Please feel free

    wv gramiri

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  21. :)))
    goody goody for me

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  22. *for self destruction

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  23. *coughs up hairball* @

    martyring themself for a broken woman


    *bigger hairball @
    a broken man.

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  24. shmingle. go on wicha assumptions.

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  25. Thank god I don't find men who need fixing fascinating, that's all I can say.

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  26. What the hell makes you think someone like *I* would need to be fixed ??


    Go find yourself some other weakling haha.


    *slams his bare knuckle in the door jam laughing like hyena behind said door*

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  27. 223

    How does that happen? Because in death, they are more an object than ever, or because skin, blood, guts, and bones are simply matter?

    How does this happen? Please explain. Is existentialism something one is born with?

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  28. Idk

    I've kissed the marbled foreheads of corpses of humans I didn't care for just to impress "the family"

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  29. ......................... /´¯/)
    ......................,/¯ ..//
    ...................../... ./ /
    ............./´¯/'...'/´¯/ ¯`·¸
    ........../'/.../..../.../ ..../¨¯\
    ........('(...´(..´...... ,~/'...')
    .........\............... ..\/..../
    ..........''...\......... . _.·´
    ............\............ ..(
    ..............\.......... ...\

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  30. am i the only person that laughs at these people who post condolences on facebooks of victims?

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  31. The female doesn't hook You sexually, Monica... because you aren't bi or gay, you daft cow.

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  32. @Raven My point it that the female sociopath could not hook me with a power trip etc, as did the girl in this article Moo

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  33. Today, I've decided that if I should feel the need to make a comment here, I will do so only through the quotation of the greatest song lyrics known to man.

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  34. Make a quote to me using a song, Raven :)

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  35. Just read the post. Sounds like a weakling who needs a lot of attention is blaming it all on a more powerful person. No need for this person to be a sociopath, it's all written from the point of a weak personality.

    I make friends easily, but then if the person starts acting weak beyond my ability or desire to nurture I'd slowly withdraw, and there it is the person would feel just like this person. I am an empath, not a socio, but I refuse to spend my time dealing with a baby who wants to be sucking all the time.

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  36. Monica this is you:

    "So here is my confesion
    It's an obsession
    I'm a firm believer
    And a warm receiver
    And I've made my decision
    This is religion
    There's no doubt
    I'm one of the devout
    Trying to sell the story
    Of love's eternal glory"

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  37. with some people, do them a favour once and you owe them forever

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  38. Thanks Raven That seems nice, unless I missed something.

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  39. And... this is what I would say to you, Monica, if I were your male socio lover:


    "Is simplicity best
    Or simply the easiest
    The narrowest path
    Is always the holiest
    So walk on barefoot for me
    Suffer some misery
    If you want my love
    If you want my love

    Man will survive
    The harshest conditions
    And stay alive
    Through difficult decisions
    So make up your mind for me
    Walk the line for me
    If you want my love
    If you want my love

    Idle talk
    And hollow promises
    Cheating Judases
    Doubting Thomases
    Don't just stand there and shout it
    Do something about it

    You can fulfill
    Your wildest ambitions
    And I'm sure you will
    Lose your inhibitions
    So open yourself for me
    Risk your health for me
    If you want my love
    If you want my love"

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  40. @Raven, THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL. Maybe, you even like me :)

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  41. @The Chosen One
    What are you puking about?

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  42. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

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  43. "I wanna have your babies
    Get serious like crazy
    I wanna have your babies
    I see 'em springing up like daisies"

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  44. I just want to say what SW has meant to me. If people laugh, so be it. I want to thank ME and most of you ~
    I woke up last night, and realized I had achieved some of my dream. My dream is to have an integrated self. I got fragmented, from life events. I knew I was fragmented, but had no earthly idea how to remedy it.


    I tried everything and then gave up. SW is unique in that you can say what is on your mind. It is a free for all, in that way, and that is the best of ways.

    I am coming together, with the nucleus of self that I used to have.


    Thank you ME for providing SW. I admire many of the people, here, such as Haven, Tik, The Chosen One ,Daniel, Raven, Nothing Man Daniel, Missus, David and Alterego. If I have left someone out, I am sorry.

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  45. Cheers Monica: I Dreamed a Dream


    [Fantine is left alone, unemployed and destitute]

    [FANTINE]
    There was a time when men were kind
    When their voices were soft
    And their words inviting
    There was a time when love was blind
    And the world was a song
    And the song was exciting
    There was a time
    Then it all went wrong

    I dreamed a dream in time gone by
    When hope was high
    And life worth living
    I dreamed that love would never die
    I dreamed that God would be forgiving
    Then I was young and unafraid
    And dreams were made and used and wasted
    There was no ransom to be paid
    No song unsung, no wine untasted

    But the tigers come at night
    With their voices soft as thunder
    As they tear your hope apart
    As they turn your dream to shame

    He slept a summer by my side
    He filled my days with endless wonder
    He took my childhood in his stride
    But he was gone when autumn came

    And still I dream he'll come to me
    That we will live the years together
    But there are dreams that cannot be
    And there are storms we cannot weather

    I had a dream my life would be
    So different from this hell I'm living
    So different now from what it seemed
    Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

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  46. Sarah 431 wasnt me I was asleep. I do like men who need fixing. Only the unavailable ones tho. The codependent needy fuckers who cant live without a woman drive me nuts. The socios and schizoids are fare more fun. Especially since I admitted my own emotional unavailability. I see nothing wrong with being honest with myself and just enjoying a relationship for what it is and not putting pressure to morph it into an unrealistic fairy tale romance.

    I think it is heternormatively presumptuous to assume the poster is a male because he is infatuated by a female (who may/may not be socio, its hard to trust the diagnosis of a teenager). The poster sounds like a female with bpd.

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  47. Ring the bells that still can ring
    Forget your perfect offering
    There is a crack in everything
    That's how the light gets in.

    Anthem

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  48. @Anon 2:17 AM: That is the best thought I've read all day. Bravo.

    @Alter: It wouldn't be inaccurate to say that I live primarily within my own mind. I enjoy thinking, analyzing, deconstructing. I find interactions between objects fascinating. Whether those objects are mathematical or human is irrelevant. These are the only things which manage to be utterly predictable to a fault but which also remain exciting.

    I wouldn't say I've consciously decided to do anything. The illusion of free will is just a cascade of chemical reactions in the brain (just like everything else). If you feel that this assertion suggests contradiction in my thought process, recall that my axiomatic system is inconsistent and thus allows contradictory theorems to exist simultaneously.

    Logical rigor is not a constraint, it is a method. If I can prove (to my own satisfaction) that an action is logical, I'll go ahead and do it. If I can't, it is illogical, and I'll still probably do it if I really want to. I'm not a robot, after all. I don't need to rationalize my actions, antisocial or otherwise. I do what feels good to me, or what is in my interest. If it neither benefits me nor makes me feel good, why would I do it, you know? I figure everyone operates that way.

    I suppose it depends how you define gifted. My tested IQ is high enough (or I'm just educated enough) for me to write it off as imprecise. Most of those systems aren't very accurate past the second or third standard deviation.

    Impulse control is difficult, I suppose. For me it usually manifests as difficulty adhering to external structure. Schedules, social obligations, laws, whatever. For example, I don't normally work until the last minute, but the work I produce is good, so I never learned to associate that behavior with failure.

    As for the last part, it's just pure math bigotry. :D

    @Monica: Ouch.~

    wv: barbwa

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  49. How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
    Leading you down into my core where I’ve become so numb
    Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
    until you find it there and lead it back home

    Bring me to life

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  50. I am sorry, Post. My thankfulness goes out to you, Sarah and Zoe, as well :)

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  51. Lol Postmodern, who knew you had such the fragile ego? ;)

    Thanks, Monica. Glad to be of whatever service I can be.

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  52. don't be sorry. just...

    Keep On With The Force Don't Stop
    Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

    don't stop til you get enough

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  53. Thanks for the music, Zoe. Leonard Cohen I adore.

    And say what you want about beepers, but we make great lyricists. Evanescence is a good example.

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  54. Is the girl in Evanescence a Beeper?

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  55. i love it when the lyrics reflect back the music

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  56. No she's a socio.

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  57. @Sarah: Sooo fragile.~ Also, Leonard Cohen's the best. Though all the acid I was on the first time I heard him may have helped. Hallelujah.~

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  58. Well I dont know her personally, so its conjecture based on her lyrical content across all the albums. Bpd is a "dramatic" disorder according to the current classifications, and many of us are drawn to music and theater and slam poetry lol.

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  59. yes she is anon. can this video be anymore beeper? whiny bitch needs a kick.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhC1pI76Rqo&ob

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  60. "and many of us are drawn to music and theater and slam poetry lol."

    You don't need a disorder to deeply appreciate the best that life has to offer. You don't even have to have all five of your senses.

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  61. famous bpd's:

    courtney love
    johnny depp
    angelina jolie
    lindsay lohan
    kurt cobain

    famous psycho/sociopaths:

    donald trump
    bill o reilly
    the situation (jersey shore)
    charlie sheen

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  62. Who said Angelinia was a BPD?

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  63. famous totally competent doctors:

    margaret bean-bayog
    kenneth olson
    donald dudley
    anon 10:44

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  64. "I want to be the girl with the most cake"

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  65. I appreciate the man who needs fixing. No one's perfect. But I will never force my ability to fix on any man or woman unless I'm being paid or getting laid.

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  66. Den spread you icin on -and thick

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  67. Did anyone see The Situation on one of those roasts? Fucking painful!

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  68. ^ I am never going to be able to erase that image from my mind. Holy fuck.

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  69. what is the (foreign?) movie where their is an epic love affair, the woman gets off on having the guy to tell her how much his new wife is innocent and pleases him while they fuck (a shit load-- the woman is addicted to his dick), she coerces him to hit her while fucking, she keeps coming back into the guy's life, and this is all being related to an old woman in flashbacks. The old woman is completely enthralled with the man's story. There is a scene at an opera where the woman observes the guy on a date with his future sweet bride.... anyone?

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  70. How are you feeling, today, Haven?

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  71. Anon lol what a movie review

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  72. It's a great movie. She's a dark beauty, he is lithe with delicate features, and the young bride is fare and supple. I can't remember the name of the film. I need to know NOW lol.

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  73. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  74. Post said: I wouldn't say I've consciously decided to do anything. The illusion of free will is just a cascade of chemical reactions in the brain (just like everything else). If you feel that this assertion suggests contradiction in my thought process, recall that my axiomatic system is inconsistent and thus allows contradictory theorems to exist simultaneously.

    I do not think this suggests a contradiction: you have adopted an axiomatic system in which incongruities may co-exist harmoniously. I am not a nihilist, but I find this approach to be refreshingly honest in the face of dogmatic worldviews which operate solely on the basis of subjective perception and “blind” emotional connection.

    My faith is completely irrational, but this does not diminish its veracity or value- for *me*, as I have a deep-seated emotional connection to its object, which has helped me to operate in a functional manner, in spite of a dysfunctional upbringing. Hence, I have no desire to dissociate myself from it.

    I asked this question because I am curious about the underpinnings of your sociopathy. Since it is not rooted in early trauma or abuse, I thought perhaps you deliberately cultivated this mindset because you made a conscious choice to forgo emotional reactions for logical rigor.

    When I wish to detach myself from an emotion, I undergo a process which always involves the systematic deconstruction and careful analysis of the thought-form in question, though it is not “informed” by a particular set of axioms. The process of intellectualizing my feelings helps me to detach from them: it is my defense mechanism of choice.

    Logical rigor is not a constraint, it is a method.

    Indeed. I cannot comment meaningfully on this statement, because my knowledge in this area is limited at best, but I do understand that it is not a constraint in principle: I was wondering whether it ever constrained *you*. (Yes, I was shamelessly probing for assberger’s, he he.)

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  75. so conning is an addiction, I'm guessing.

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  76. Post said: I wouldn't say I've consciously decided to do anything. The illusion of free will is just a cascade of chemical reactions in the brain (just like everything else). If you feel that this assertion suggests contradiction in my thought process, recall that my axiomatic system is inconsistent and thus allows contradictory theorems to exist simultaneously.

    No, I do not think this suggests a contradiction: you have adopted an axiomatic system in which incongruities may co-exist harmoniously. I am not a nihilist, but I find this approach to be refreshingly honest in the face of dogmatic systems which operate solely on the basis of subjective perception and “blind” emotional connection.

    According to your philosophical paradigm of choice, my faith is completely irrational, but this does not diminish its veracity or value for *me*, as I have a deep-seated emotional connection to its object, which has helped me to operate in a functional manner, in spite of a dysfunctional upbringing. Thus, I have no desire to dissociate myself from it.

    I asked this question because I am curious about the underpinnings of your sociopathy. If it is not rooted in early trauma or abuse, I thought perhaps you deliberately cultivated this mindset because you made a conscious choice to forgo emotional reactions for logical rigor. When I wish to detach myself from an emotion, I undergo a similar process, and it always involves the systematic deconstruction and careful analysis of the thought-form in question, though it is not “informed” by a particular set of axioms. The process of intellectualizing my feelings helps me to detach from them: it is my defence mechanism of choice.

    Logical rigor is not a constraint, it is a method.

    Indeed. I cannot comment meaningfully on this statement, because my knowledge in this domain is very limited, but I do understand that it is not a constraint in principle- I was just wondering whether it ever constrained *you*. (Yes, I was shamelessly probing for assberger’s, he he.)

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  77. The process of intellectualizing my feelings helps me to detach from them: it is my defence mechanism of choice.

    Why I have given up talk-psych doctors, atleast temporarily :)

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  78. Post said: If I can prove (to my own satisfaction) that an action is logical, I'll go ahead and do it. If I can't, it is illogical, and I'll still probably do it if I really want to. I'm not a robot, after all. I don't need to rationalize my actions, antisocial or otherwise. I do what feels good to me, or what is in my interest. If it neither benefits me nor makes me feel good, why would I do it, you know? I figure everyone operates that way.

    It is true that you do not need to rationalize your actions, but one of the core components of sociopathy is the tendency to do so. Thus, I was curious as to whether there might be a connection there, for you.

    I often do selfless things, but it makes me feel good, so my motivations are not wholly altruistic. I like assisting others: it is deeply satisfying to me, and this I attribute entirely to my faith in God. Otherwise, I am sorry to say, I wouldn’t a shit. I do not have a deep emotional connection to humanity, but I do- to God.

    I suppose it depends how you define gifted. My tested IQ is high enough (or I'm just educated enough) for me to write it off as imprecise. Most of those systems aren't very accurate past the second or third standard deviation.

    I do think that IQ tests measure anything, other than a capacity for success within the hallowed halls of conventional academia- and within a very limited scope, at that. Frankly, in light of what we now understand about the brain, I think such tests are outdated: irrelevant at best, harmful at worst. My measured IQ is quite high too, straddling the border of gifted and highly gifted, but my intellectual performance in some areas is pitiably average: I never even took calculus, lol!

    Impulse control is difficult, I suppose. For me it usually manifests as difficulty adhering to external structure. Schedules, social obligations, laws, whatever. For example, I don't normally work until the last minute, but the work I produce is good, so I never learned to associate that behavior with failure.

    Interesting. I couldn’t stick to a schedule if my life depended upon it. I *always* work until the very last minute, but I consistently generate my best work under pressure. Stress invigorates me. I operate particularly well in demanding situations: my capacity to focus becomes unparalleled, because I am being forced by an external constraint (i.e: a deadline) to produce. I understand the inherent weakness of this approach, but it is a deeply entrenched habit, and I have never failed on account of it, so I persist in it, illogically. :)

    As for the last part, it's just pure math bigotry. :D

    Ah. Now I understand. :)

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  79. Hi Caroline. I'm alright. A bit down. Trying to keep busy. How are you doll?

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  80. constrained?

    Causes a feeling of resignation, numbing, even mild melancholia, and reinforces *me* to sit in stagnation.

    Sitting is just unbearable.

    Dry, deadening, life-sucking, constraining. To intellectualize only gets you so far.

    So is asking:

    "so what are you going to DO about it?"

    Fuck you, fuck if I know, and get off my fucking back. If I knew that, why would I be here, asshole?

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  81. asshole = talk therapist

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  82. Talk therapy is like poop therapy i.e. talking out of ass.

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  83. Blessed are the cracked for they shall let in the light.

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  84. It is in this realm that the psychopath comes closest to the psychotic. While seemingly in full possession of his reasoning ability, by all the means of clinical psychology to test and assess them, the psychopath demonstrates an inability to comprehend the meaning and significance of his behavior for other people, and to judge their probable reactions to his behavior. He is often astounded to find that people are upset by his exploits. Although he knows intellectually what punishment is decreed for certain crimes, when caught, he puts up elaborate rationalizations and defenses, and seems surprised when he is actually punished.

    While the psychopath has likes and dislikes and fondness for the pleasures that human company can bring, analysis shows that he is completely egocentric, valuing others only for their enhancement of his own pleasure or status. While he gives no real love, he is quite capable of inspiring love of sometimes fanatical degree in others. He is generally superficially charming and often makes a striking impression as possessed of the noblest of human qualities. He makes friends easily, and is very manipulative, using his ability with words to talk his way out of trouble. Many psychopaths love to be admired and bask in the adulation of others. With the lack of love, there is also a lack of empathy. The psychopath is unable to feel sorry for others in unfortunate situations or put himself in another's place, whether or not they have been harmed by him.

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  85. Manipulation is another tool of the psychopath often used by Alex. He lies to his parents and to his truant officer in order to manipulate them. When Alex is caught and charged with murder, he typically tries to shift blame to his droogs and to deny responsibility. Once he is imprisoned, he adopts the role of model prisoner, "sucking up" to the chaplain by pretending to study the Bible (secretly finding more material for his sadist and sexual fantasies therein). During his conditioning he attempts to manipulate the scientists. Once in a position of dominance, his manipulation takes on a bullying tone, as exemplified by his behavior following the suicide attempt when, despite having lost the use of all four limbs, simply by opening his mouth, and demanding food as if he were a baby bird, he asserts his dominance over the government minister as the minister feeds Alex.

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  86. So you're only something when you're sucking a cock, David?

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  88. Aw, Haven, I am doing really well, adjusting to my new position and trying to get stronger boundaries and more of my own power.

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  89. Shut up, TNP. Go suck on a grape.

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  90. So you're only something when you're putting others down, TNP?

    That was not a disingenuous question.

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  91. Raven, I never intended to imply that one has to have a disorder to enjoy dramatic arts, only that because of the emotional dynamism of the bpd, there seem to be many people along those lines in the arts. Clearly even "normative" types enjoy entertainment, but not as much create it.

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  92. I'm not the one making quotes about cons, in which David says sucking dicks is a con.

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  94. Tell me why so many feel the need to defend David? From what I can tell, he enjoys being verbally attacked. I suppose since he doesn't enjoy sex... it could be some misguided form of masturbation.

    I obviously am missing something in my line of vision, that would help me see what good qualities he actually has.

    So hows about someone help me out, yeah? Tell me what's so great about him that I should care about his quarrels here.

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  95. He quarrels for sport. It is better than sex for him.

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  96. @David: Quelle illusion pitiable.

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  98. Jesus, why do we keep talking about David?

    The second episode of Sherlock is probably online somewhere, TNP. Thought you'd like to know.

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  99. lol

    Actually I'm already bored with the question. I was just looking for something to piss about. But I've found something more interesting to occupy my time now...

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  100. what does an old, loner do but bicker?

    He said he has the libido of a 7o yr old woman, but I know lots of 70 yr old women who have great sex lives.

    David, at 34, there are so many possibilities which have nothing to do with sex or quarrels. '

    You are too young to be old. But you know that.

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  101. Lol David, you seem like you have a stick up your ass. You dont seem like you would be the least bit fun.

    As far as fun people here, I would take Haven, Raven, Postmodern and Alterego (as long as she doesnt try to convert me).

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  103. Alterego and I feel the same way about David. That he is very special. I think it is fair to say that our spirits feel that, if I may presume to speak for her.

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  104. @Raven: I wasn't defending David, I was challenging TNP- who is David's intellectual superior, by a long shot. David can't put up much of a fight in here.

    As far as I'm concerned, all human beings are endowed with the same intrinsic value. All are precious.

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  106. @Bible Anon: I like you, and I love Whom you represent, but you may not presume to speak for me.

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  107. Aaand there goes my self-confidence out of the window. Well then, I'm off to bed.

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  108. Bien sur, ce'est moi!

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  110. David, why don't you just kill yourself already.

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  111. @Wheatley: I just started watching Sherlock on account of some of the things being said about it here. What a great show!

    @BibleAnon: No disrespect intended.

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  112. What exactly was the point of that attack David? Srsly.

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  113. OK, Alter. I thought you said that as I read your French, in a very non fluent way as I speak a language which is somewhat close. At any rate, I hear you and won't do that, again.

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  115. I agree with only one part of your statement. TNP Is his intellectual superior. 7 fold.

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  116. @David: You should leave Wheatley out of your feeble insults. He's 17 and has his entire life ahead of him. You're not even 40, and you've already ruined yours.

    Men living in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

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  117. and Thanks Sarah. You're a peach.

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  118. What are all your worthless games for? David, if you live a good life and have lots of money, that's good for you, no need to brag about it. Unless it makes you feel really happy, but that'd make you pathetic. We (all of us, no exception) don't give a shit.

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  119. Wheatley is a cutie patootie. Maybe a homicidal, antisocial aggressive one, but by bubblegum cough drops I do so decree that even on the worst of days nothing will keep down our Wheatley.

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  120. Hmmm, no one seems to be enjoying your company at the moment, David. :D

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  122. David has to make appointments for those.

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  124. It doesn't make him happy, anon. He is searching, whining, begging for you to respond to him, thus filling his gaping need for answers to "what is happiness"

    Find it at your own expense, David.

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  126. My two cents is that Wheatley is a little instigator and age or no age, that makes one want to strangle her.

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  128. I am finding my version of happiness, Anon!

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  129. Monica, calm your spirit, my child. Let the peace inside of you heart, so that it my expel the evil in your belly.

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  130. Do you like Riddles riding in your lake, David?

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  131. Sure Monica. Wheatley Really shakes the shit up in here. A right scandalous little piss, with a million hidden agendas.

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  132. hmm cream of wheatley or david puffs? so hard to choose. can i have you both?

    :)

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  133. @ evil in your belly

    consume my bile, for it is your sustenance, tnp

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  135. Wheatley is a little instigator? Monica, I don't know if you've noticed, but you're posting in a place called SociopathWorld.

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  136. Wheatley has already admitted to use the cover of Anonymous for her nefarious deeds, like asking a question to ME!

    She/he/it/something almost legal to bone, has been behind ever anontember the 11th Anerrorist attacks.

    Also, the Twinkie shortage in the Ukraine.

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  137. I have noticed and my lake is calm, washing over my naked body.

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  139. Damn. I was sure the Ruskies has something to with the shortage in Ukraine. Bravo Wheatley. Bravo.

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  140. NO I DO NOT, DAVID.

    I do not, I do not
    like riddles in my lake
    i do not, i do not
    Access my cabin for a bake
    I do not, I do


    You know what fuck this Im too highj to be Dr Seuss

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  141. @ Haven I do not subscribe to external standards. If I am at SW or at a tea party, I strive to treat people with the same respect, at both places.

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  142. Bitch, you wouldn't survive two minutes at a tea party.

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  143. Post, I had a friend who said she was always smart enough to do the least amount of work possible. I'm the same way. I did that with my devoirs. I'd do them in class when they were due, so now I have the worst work ethic. But i get it done. We have a similar mindset and philosophy I think.

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  144. If you were truly interested in tea party etiquette you'd speak only when spoken too.


    Bitch.

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  145. My philosophy is fucking awesome.

    Fucking Awesome is such a fucking awesome philosophy. Seriously, fucking awesome.

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  146. @TNP LOL I am a flight attendant, so I survive in a lot of places.

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  147. Have you ever been to a tea party before? I went to a few and Orleans... Half of us never returned.

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  148. @SW: Posting under the cover of "anon" is cowardly and weak. It only proves that you're insecure and easily intimidated. If you have something to say- say it, and own it.

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  149. @ TNP Since you spoke to me, does that mean that we are on speaking terms?

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  150. That's why we is anons.



    I love haven! I really do.

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  151. Is is true what they say about flight attendants?

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  152. ::laughs:: TNP you're so funny right now. And you remind me of NPH. "When I get sad, I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead. True Story."

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  153. @Monica

    You wouldn't survive me.

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  154. You already know who I am, but I will say

    It is I, Bella.

    I am shy and sometimes not.

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  155. Alterego stfu. You smell like old books and poor people.

    Monica, we're on speaking terms in a sense that, when you speak, I might slap you with golf club. So do not abuse this power. With great power comes great possibilities of grievous bodily harm.

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  157. @TNP LOL You can be so insightful and write so intelligently, and then you explode in to a baby throwing mud.

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  158. NPH doesn't have shit on me. Plus he's a blonde man, and you just can't take a blonde man serious.

    Was it the nazis? Nah.
    Was it the stereotypes? Nah.
    Was it the fact they're too close to their soulless Gingers? Probably.

    There's your answer folks. David is a descendent of blondes. It explains his hatred of sex and his obsession with keeping the top of his hair at a 189 degree angle.

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  159. Monica, I want to father your babies. Like a lot. Just fill your stomach with a million babies. Then I can fill them with helium and use you and our children as a giant balloon so we can fly across the ocean and see where british people come from.

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  160. I'm a fucking blonde goddammit! That's JUST IT! I've had it with this place!
    I want to break free
    I want to break free from your lies
    You're so self satisfied I don't need you
    I've got to break free
    God knows, God knows I want to break free
    !

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  162. i think you ought to chop off all the hairson your dollie's heads, Raven.

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  163. Raven, I may have to hold you down... and dye your hair ;) You'd probably look phenomenal in mahogany with a touch of auburn.

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  164. @Monica: That's the hallmark of a sociopath.

    @TNP: How characteristically unperceptive of you. I am reasonably young, and almost certainly wealthier than you.

    You, on the other hand, smell of designer knock-offs and cheap cologne, but I am afraid not even these can mask the vacancy in your soul.

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  165. low lights! Mi piache

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  166. Why do you suck at this game so much alterego? WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB?

    Is that what average is like? Omfg, to be average, man that must be like a special hell on earth. Not being able to understand you're an idiot, it must get you in trouble all the time.

    And what's with the soul comments? Broheim, you don't know shit 'bout my horcruxes, BITCH

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  167. But I do love old books! Ya got me there, tiger. :D

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  168. Tiger? What are you 60, beaver cleaver? Maybe we can go get some pop and stop for a malt, gee willikers!

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  169. what is a horse crutch?

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  170. TNP said...
    NO I DO NOT, DAVID.

    I do not, I do not
    like riddles in my lake
    i do not, i do not
    Access my cabin for a bake
    I do not, I do


    You know what fuck this Im too highj to be Dr Seuss


    one fish two fish
    riddle my lake
    black fish blue fish
    i will bake

    this one has a little car
    this one has a little star
    Say what a lot of fish there are!
    Some are red. And some are blue.
    Some are old. And some are new.
    Those would make a fine fish stew

    Some are sad. And some are glad.
    And some are very, very bad.
    Why are they sad and glad and bad?
    Why do they twist and jump and shake?

    I do not know. Go ask your dad.
    I do not like riddles in my lake

    Oh me! Oh my! Oh me! Oh my!
    You know what fuck this I'm too high.

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  171. Hello to you all!

    Can a sociopath/psychopath enjoy isolation? Or do they always enjoy social interactions?

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  172. what is a horse crutch?

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  173. @Haven

    Is that so? Well in that case I'm definitely keeping my blonde hair.

    Take me as I am or let me go
    White lilies never grow on stalks of clover

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  175. Look at that creeper with his 189 degree cut.

    CREEPER ALERT!

    My father always told me to be wary of men that suck dick for a living. He said they're real cocksuckers, and they'll take you for everything you have. Maybe my dad just got conned by david back in the day. He does seem to have a penchant for fucking old guys.

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  176. ::laughs:: Raven, well maybe I"ll just hold you down and do other things instead ;)

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