Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Contextualizing emotions

I was trying to describe to someone the other day what emotions feel like for me. It's not like I don't feel them.  I feel a lot of different emotions, but some of them I don't recognize or understand. By that I mean that sometimes (actually a lot of the time) it feels like my emotions lack context. They're not completely without context. It is sort of like I am watching a movie, but backwards. Not completely backwards--like I am watching 30-60 second increments, and then skipping back in time to the next increment. Or when you read an email chain, but start at the most recent email and read back in time. You can get an idea of what is happening, but because the conversation is not really linear -- does not progress organically (at least to your eyes) -- there will always be holes to your understanding. It's sort of like the character in the movie Memento trying to make sense of his surroundings when every seven minutes or so, he forgets what came before.

When I was younger I frequently gave into emotional impulses. I felt like if I was mad there must be a reason that I was mad so I was justified in lashing out in whatever manner I felt proper. In order to rid myself of that behavior I learned to second guess any emotions. I would ask myself: could I identify the type of emotion I was feeling? What was the source? What had prompted the emotion? If I didn't have the answer to these basic questions I would ignore the emotion, writing it off as being (at least probably) an emotional hallucination.

I'm sure that many emotions are "hallucinations" and I'm sure that everyone must experience this to a certain extent. But by ignoring any emotion that I could not explain to myself, I am sure I was also being over-inclusive, thereby excluding legitimate emotions from which I simply lack the ability to contextualize and extract any real meaning. I am unable to separate the wheat from the chaff. Consequently, I am forced to throw the baby out with the bathwater (pardon the mixed metaphor).

Sometimes I wonder if this is the core of what I generally perceive as being self-aware or not amongst the sociopathic population, i.e. the self-aware ones in my eyes are the ones who have realized that their emotions deceive them and vice versa.  It's also why I generally consider narcissists to be unaware, because in my eyes they are constantly acting on bastard emotions that they believe justify reprehensible behavior.

209 comments:

  1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxP0VnbHSxE

    Funny video guys.

    What would a sociopath have done?

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  2. "What would a sociopath have done?"

    Lmao. Joined in.

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  3. Yeah, but what if he was that asian kid?

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  4. Stuff like that doesn't happen to bad people, it happens to suckers.

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  5. Ever wonder why it's called a "sucker punch"

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  6. ICutMyWristsToFeelBetterJanuary 17, 2012 at 1:49 AM

    @Anonymous said...
    Stuff like that doesn't happen to bad people, it happens to suckers.

    That's retarded. I've been targeted many times by idiots like them because I betrayed them, stole their shit, stole their girlfriends or humiliated them. Those kinds of situations happen to anyone. But a sociopath would have fought back, he wouldn't just say "no, no, don't hurt me". And still, it's not even going to be the end of it. A sociopath will take revenge and find them when they're alone and hit them 100 times harder.

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  7. "That's retarded. I've been targeted many times by idiots like them because I betrayed them, stole their shit, stole their girlfriends or humiliated them. Those kinds of situations happen to anyone. But a sociopath would have fought back, he wouldn't just say "no, no, don't hurt me". And still, it's not even going to be the end of it. A sociopath will take revenge and find them when they're alone and hit them 100 times harder."

    If they had respect for him, or fear, then it wouldn't have happened. A very stupid sociopath would fight back when outnumbered by seven people. His beating would have been more severe.

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  8. And what makes them idiots?

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  9. ICutMyWristsToFeelBetterJanuary 17, 2012 at 2:06 AM

    "If they had respect for him, or fear, then it wouldn't have happened. A very stupid sociopath would fight back when outnumbered by seven people. His beating would have been more severe."

    Impulsiveness maybe? Whenever I get attacked, I do not stay calm without moving, I get angry and fight back. No matter how many they are. No sociopaths in the world would stay calm and let himself get kicked in the face.

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  10. "No sociopaths in the world would stay calm and let himself get kicked in the face."

    And you know this how? "ICutMyWristsToFeelBetter" is your name and you are a sociopath?

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  11. ICutMyWristsToFeelBetterJanuary 17, 2012 at 2:13 AM

    @Anonymous

    It was a joke. I made fun of people cutting their wrists to make themselves feel better, idiot.


    Back me off UKan.

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  12. It seems you imagined yourself as the victim in that video, says lots about you. i instantly imagined myself as one of the attackers.

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  13. ICutMyWristsToFeelBetterJanuary 17, 2012 at 2:25 AM

    @Anonymous said...
    It seems you imagined yourself as the victim in that video, says lots about you. i instantly imagined myself as one of the attackers.

    Stop looking so ridiculous, anon. Too stupid to understand why I made this nickname up. Too stupid to understand that I was answerring to that other anon, that's why I said that. Too stupid to understand that sociopaths get angry really fast and act on impulse, whether you like it or not.

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  14. you like to manipulate people into cutting their wrists?

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  15. ME
    You write so beautifully, with so much feeling. Last week,my friend played his guitar and sang for me. I had that same catch inside that I do when I read your words.

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  16. What do you think M.E. is trying to say, CT? How do you relate to this blog post? What would Anne of Green Gables say??!!

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  17. Theme Songs for SW Regulars "Event Series"January 17, 2012 at 7:41 AM

    The relationship between Eden and Missus and Haven


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGIBDD60r1A&feature=related

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  18. It was a joke. I made fun of people cutting their wrists to make themselves feel better, idiot.


    Back me off UKan.

    I don't use anonymous accounts to attack people. I take all the credit myself. You should know that by now.

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  19. Its helpful to define emotion. All emotion really is is a biological response. Our emotions consist of nerve and neuron responses. Our brain interprets these sensations and classifies them as having certain meanings.

    From what Ive read, the sociopath is not only poor at interpreting their biological response, but it is actually muted. If I were standing in an alley and I could sense a predator nearby, my body would react completely different than if a sociopath was standing in an alley and sensed a predator. They would not experience the same fear I would. Mine would be hightened because my heart would be pounding, my breath catching...

    The shallowness of emotion is an actual physiological phenomenon. A socio has these muted physiological responses to external stimuli. It is why there is a certain amount of quiet desperation to feel something. It is why people thrill seek, take drugs, fuck all night. Do something.

    Its funny, being borderline and having the mood swings (less) its weird. While I have extreme emotions, and I have to be analyzing my emotions as well. I have emotional hallucinations. Ive gotten better at being detached from them. Allowing myself to remember that it is a biological process and the meaning it has is assigned by me.

    I know you guys like to make fun of beepers, but beepers and socios share a dysfunction with impulsive response to emotional states. Socios tend more toward outward aggression, and borderlines in, but its not always the case.

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  20. ICutMyWristsToFeelBetterJanuary 17, 2012 at 9:20 AM

    @UKan A Peer said...

    I don't use anonymous accounts to attack people. I take all the credit myself. You should know that by now.

    I know, I was just asking you to agree with what I said. Because I thought I was right.

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  21. It's also why I generally consider narcissists to be unaware, because in my eyes they are constantly acting on bastard emotions that they believe justify reprehensible behavior.

    I don't think any sociopaths are absent from doing the same. In fact mixing poor behavioural control, impulsivity, pathological lying, and grandiose sense of self worth creates the exact effect you are speaking of. Those are sociopath traits. The main differences between a sociopath and a narcissist is that narcissists entire aim is to make themselves look good since inside they feel inferior, while a sociopath already genuinely thinks they are the best thing in the world, so they think they can do whatever they want. In fact the way that I think personally is that people out there playing by the rules are just a bunch of suckers and the reason I break all of them is because I'm smart enough to get away with it.

    Narcissists generally are not to chaotic, less impulsive, can form goals easier, and less likely to break the law. In all reality if you took the PCL-R and the traits of a narcissist side by side the narcissist will have an easier time succeeding in life than the sociopath because many of the traits of a sociopath have to do with not being able to control behaviour. You notice even when they say criminal behaviour it is criminal versatility. I will tell you from personal experience that is because of boredom. Once we figure out how to get away with one crime we get bored and try another. It's also because consequences are not really a factor and our impulsive nature makes us go from normal day to day crime into assaults, murders, on the fly robberies, and theft. I know some of you will call that a low functioning sociopath, but actually if you went into the PCL-R and removed all the traits you desired to make some 'high functioning sociopath' you would not have a sociopath at all.

    They call people like sociopaths and borderlines disordered exactly because they are not able to function in society. If they could, it would not be a disorder at all.

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  22. I know, I was just asking you to agree with what I said. Because I thought I was right.

    It's kind of a silly conversation. I don't know if every sociopath would do the same as I would, but I wouldn't care if there was twenty people. I wouldn't go down without swinging. I have pride. I've been jumped a lot of times and I learned to just go for one person and get as much as you can in before you hit the floor. Once your down there you are pretty much fucked.

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  23. I don't even understand the difference between low functioning and high functioning. I hear of it all the time in these sociopath sites I trolled, but I don't see the difference, more like the need to segregate. The way I see it as long as you ain't dead, in a way, you are functioning. Probably a very simple way of looking at it though.

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  24. PILES! You made a Blogger account. It's about mother fucking time!

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  25. Lol, yeah. Better late than never XD!

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  26. Like those drug addicts I guess. One of the girls that works for me is addicted to meth. I always had a policy against working with people like that because I've never seen one that is functional at all. She has somehow made it work for her. I have never even seen her on the stuff, but I've seen glass about her room and in her drawers when I had to grab money she left for me and wasn't there. She's worked for me for years no problem. She also holds down a job for a pretty big company.

    I'm guessing a sociopath that's in and out of prison every six months, beating the shite out of their girlfriend, slamming herion, and generally causing a scene would be what people consider low functioning, right? The thing is that every kid thats a nihilist seems to think they are some high functioning sociopath. Basically choosing traits for themselves and discarding others to where the personality they claim they have doesn't even make sense anymore. An actual sociopath is pretty outrageous. I can see myself perfectly but I can't change who I am anymore than anyone else can change their personality. I can only channel it. The difference between me and narcissists that I've met personally is that they seem to want to be someone besides themselves because they have a poor view of who they really are, while I think I'm above it all.

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  27. I'm not sure I understand. Me, are you saying that you had an emotion, but that it didn't match what was happening around you? Aren't most emotions like that? I thought most people have different reactions/responses to things that they can't always understand or explain. And don't the highest functioning among us separate what is going on in the interior (like, oh man, what is that feeling? huh) and not act on it? Doesn't make us sociopaths.

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  28. ^That comment was in regards to UKan's posts for the day.^

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  29. the only reason i could think of, in regards to a socio changing their behavior, would be that they feel empathic towards others and have chosen to stop hurting/conning these people. this is completely uncharacteristic of a sociopath, because they lack empathy and cannot feel the pain of another person. sociopaths also tend to blame the world for their shortcomings and fail at any sort of responsibility, in short they externalize emotions. imo it's unproductive for a socio to change their behavior, as most of the socios traits are highly valued in western culture, america especially.

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  30. UKan's posts today brings a lot of shit to the surface for me. I have a million things I could say right now, but I have a doctor's appointment in 30, and I just don't have the energy right now.

    I will just say that I agree. There is no high functioning vs. low functioning. The very thing that qualifies it a disorder in the first place, it's a thing that separates you from those who can function just fine, within the constructs of society, or at least change themselves enough to do so (conform).

    I can't fight who I am. I've tried. I function but barely. As a mother, citizen, mate, friend, and a nice long list of whatever else. I'm only not in jail right now because I haven't been pulled over.

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  31. "I will just say that I agree. There is no high functioning vs. low functioning. The very thing that qualifies it a disorder in the first place, it's a thing that separates you from those who can function just fine, within the constructs of society, or at least change themselves enough to do so (conform)."

    Agreed. It's what separates traits from a full blown pd at the extreme end.

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  32. IMO it all comes down to emotions. For everyone. I'm wondering if can be boiled down to acting on what makes us feel good that instant to what makes us feel good in the long run. Not eating the candy bar will be good in the long run. Not f*cking over a friend will be good in the long run, as do, not screwing up a marriage by hitting on a friend or blowing all your money by buying something worthless. I think we ALL have this problem. Socios and non-socios.

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  33. ME is high functioning. UKan is low functioning.

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  34. Many sociopaths have made careers from their poor behavior controls and arrogance. Bill Reilly comes to mind.

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  35. An expert needs to get involved to put this "high functioning vs low functioning sociopath" scuffle to an end. From my observation, the low functioning sociopaths seem to except the conventional idea of the sociopath and the "high functioning" ones try to create new definitions for reasons unknown. The higher functioning sociopaths don't behave like the conventional idea of a sociopath laid out there by hare and others. High functioning was created here, so it has little to no legitimacy.

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  36. A low functioning sociopath is a classic, big mouth asshole like UKan.

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  37. ME is high functioning. UKan is low functioning.

    Ok, now tell me what facts you base that off of. What determines a high functioning sociopath?

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  38. High functioning vs low is really about how well the individual is able to blend in. How they choose to manage their impulses. It has to do more with being self aware. There are high functioning and low functioning people in general. The higher functioning people tend to keep themselves out of jail.

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  39. I'm only not in jail right now because I haven't been pulled over.

    Ha ha ha. I like that.

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  40. High functioning vs low is really about how well the individual is able to blend in. How they choose to manage their impulses.

    Every sociopath can blend in and almost every factor on the PCL-R has to do with not being able to manage behaviour. In fact that is almost the entire reason it is considered a disorder. You would have to take off at least12 points just to get what you would call a high functioning sociopath on the PCL-R which would not make you a sociopath at all. Have you even looked at the test before?

    Nietzche contemplated immorality as a theory. Sociopaths do immoral things. There's a difference. Big difference.

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  41. The casual wife abuser, parasite, ruthless corporate bully and tyrannical teacher, all of these people would have what we call low impulse control, yet 99% of the time these people will never find themselves in prison. How do you explain that?

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  42. The casual wife abuser, parasite, ruthless corporate bully and tyrannical teacher, all of these people would have what we call low impulse control, yet 99% of the time these people will never find themselves in prison. How do you explain that?

    It's funny when people use a false statistic to change their opinion into something that resembles a fact.

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  43. Like I said, it is about managing impulses. Not that one is able to control them, but chosing how you indulge them. Which victims you chose. How you go about exploiting them. Someone robbing convenience stores is going to draw more attention than someone conning people as a fake financial advisor. Intelligence and financial means play a part. Creativity.

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  44. It's true though, when do those slick fuckers ever see the inside of a prison? Never! I'm saying that low impulse control barely ever means jail with sociopaths.

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  45. Oh, I thought you were stating that "high functioning" sociopaths DON'T infringe any law. We can agree that a sociopaths regular criminality is covert and goes undetected.

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  46. Hah. This is bringing up questions for me, too.

    "Agreed. It's what separates traits from a full blown pd at the extreme end."

    To some degree, I agree with this, and it is why I say I have socio traits, as opposed to a PD. But when I think about it carefully, I am not so sure. The only reason I am not in prison is because I have not been caught. I live my life according a code I believe in, and this has helped me function in relationships and staunch the worst of my impulses. Yet when I transgress in a manner that I arbitrarily define as minor, I feel absolutely no remorse. And when I have the impulse to do so, I do not usually have the self-control or desire to stop myself.

    If I indulge in an illegal activity, it is because I don't feel that it is a problem, regardless of what society may dictate. If I transgress the code in which I very much believe, I cannot care enough to feel anything more than a fleeting, intellectual acknowledgement of guilt. And yet, this code has permitted me to be a "better" person according to so many criteria, both personal and sociological.

    Yet I do feel empathy sometimes. I love my family. But I don't always know where my code and I diverge, as my sense of self is so wrapped up in what I believe. For me, this has proved immeasurably helpful, as it has allowed me to be functional when nothing else could. I have enough trouble remaining functional as it is. But it has also helped me to remain thoroughly dependent on God for any improvement, and this has truly cultivated humility in my character.

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  47. Take a distant relative. This young man has been expelled from school, has no desire to do find a job, but has told me truthfully that one day he hopes to be big in the political scene. One time I suggested he aim for a more realistic career which compares with his achievements, well he completely lost it and refused to speak to me for a week. This boy is a sociopath, he lives in a world in which he rules supreme. Our young man is perfectly fine sitting around and draining resources as his parents slave endlessly. Scary dude.

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  48. He was expelled for threatening to stab a teacher.

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  49. Yeah, but your code has to do with a religion you have chosen for yourself. You have morals, alterego. You don't even really have your own code, you have the Bible and the ten commandments. In fact your religion requires remorse for the things you do because you have to ask for forgiveness.

    Sociopaths have no code. If they use one it applies to everyone else but them. The bible in the hands of a sociopath would become a weapon to ordain what the sociopath tells people to do as coming from god himself making him/her infallible as usual.

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  50. We can agree that a sociopaths regular criminality is covert and goes undetected.

    Not really. The reason psychopathy became such large study is because psychopaths became such a nuisance. Sociopaths have a knack for getting away with more than they are punished for. That is also a well documented fact. They are more likely to get out early even though they are also more likely to recidivate.

    Keep in mind I'm not saying every psychopath is carasouling around in the prison system.

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  51. Although it wasn't this single incident which cemented his expulsion. He had a long line of assault on weaker students and disruption. His mother told me how he was the worse behaved student the school had seen in it's history. He was very proud of that badge. The teachers found him arrogant and manipulative. He's my relative, but he deserves to be in prison before he ruins lives. I fear the thought of him going into politics, he will push for wars.

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  52. Yeah, but your code has to do with a religion you have chosen for yourself. You have morals, alterego. You don't even really have your own code, you have the Bible and the ten commandments. In fact your religion requires remorse for the things you do because you have to ask for forgiveness."

    Yeah, this is all true. It is only my code because I have internalized it, and derive my morals from it. This is why I have said in the past that I *cannot* be a sociopath. But reading through some of M.E's posts, in which the focus is upon internal thought processes, as opposed to external actions, has caused me to wonder.

    I try to compensate for shallow affect and blunted empathy by showing my love by my deeds, and I express remorse by intellectually acknowledging transgressions.

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  53. Theres also the issue of people being referred to as sociopaths when they are actually not. Schizoid, narcissist, even borderline can exhibit empathy issues. Some people are sadists but not sociopaths. There is even issues with the labels psychopath, sociopath and antisocial personality. According to some they are synonymous. Others see psychopaths as being "born bad" and sociopaths become bad. Some see psychopathy as an extreme end of an antisocial spectrum.

    The fact is that the establishment is going to define criminal behavior (this is stuff for which you could be imprisoned, regardless of if you get caught) as a mental disorder, because it is antiauthoritarin to suggest that mental health might entail making up ones own mind regarding the nature of the law. We are told to follow them regardless, and if you deviate, you are a deviant.

    Reality is what you can get away with.

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  54. It is the *feelings* that often don't follow suit, for me.

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  55. But some psychopaths are perfectly happy to lay about beating their wives and dictating to their family, without getting involved in overtly criminal acts. Equality is alien in any relationship with a psychopath. It's about what you can do for them.

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  56. "Some see psychopathy as an extreme end of an antisocial spectrum."

    I'd bet this is where my cousin is on the spectrum. Some would say he was born without a soul.

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  57. I understand, Alter. I have to act too. I am half and half on remorse. I can be stubborn and not see what I did as wrong and hence no reason to feel apologetic. It is especially necessary to act if it was in conjunction with something I did under a delusional mindset. If I believed things to be true (irrationally) and I acted upon that, then I may have trouble seeing my wrong. I am getting better at identifying those delusions. They are tricky because they seem so logical.

    My brain plays nasty little games with itself and sometimes other people get hurt.

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  58. Who else thinks Obama will try to get dictator status, if reelected?

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  59. Maybe it is a spectrum. And perhaps where one falls upon it depends on more than mere heredity or environmental influence. An individual's free will- and all of the choices this encompasses- has an influence upon the kind of person he or she is, and wishes to become. Even a person with a severe impulse control issues is capable of making choices.

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  60. For me, a lot of my impulse control comes from being present. Being mindful. Trying not to function on autopilot. If I do, I tend towards manipulating people. I have to be mindful of how I manipulate and try to use my powers for good lol. Instead of tearing down peoples self esteem, which is what comes naturally, I make an effort to be polite and enjoy making people feel good about themselves. I find that my day is a lot easier with coworkers and subordinates when they associate me with a positive feeling. I can get by with a lot less actual work.

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  61. Lacking empathy is bad enough, but when you pair it with grandiosity it's a recipe for disaster, but a disaster for others, not the individual.

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  62. Yes, but everyone has thoughts of something off the wall. Not many people can say they haven't thought of stealing, using violence on someone, even murder. In fact there is this guy we went dirtbiking with that is very peaceful. He was a vegan. He never even got in a fight. This douchebag showed up to camp that likes to say disrespectful stuff to people who he doesn't even know (I put a stop to that early), and the vegan told me: Everytime I see that guy I want to punch him in the face.

    In riots you see people who usually never break the law out burning, looting, stealing, raping, and killing. The law broke down and they are out there having fun. Are they all sociopaths? No. The law is absent so they are taking advantage of the opportunity. Getting caught is not as likely as it usually is.

    Sociopath's impulse control is so low that it is a riot on a constant basis. They don't care about laws in society or rules in a company. They routinely violate laws and even people's personal rights.

    What fucks people up is that sociopaths are so personable. That's the mask people like to talk about all the time. Sociopaths are very good at manipulation and it is always a game to them. The lack of impulse control leads them to not having fear that most do when asking for something or about something. It makes them fun to hang out with. Generally they are outrageous, and people love that. It's a breath of fresh air. It's not till you hang out with a sociopath day to day that something seems strange.

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  63. People are naive to think that Obama wouldn't massacre any opposition if he could get away with it.

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  64. Imo, what differentiates the P from average criminals, is that everyone is a target to the P. If the P is a dictator, he will massacre his own people and a psychopathic conman could easily swindle his family. There's no honor among thieves sentiments with psychopaths.

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  65. People are naive to think that Obama wouldn't massacre any opposition if he could get away with it

    Conservitive Americans are retarded. In reality your last president was closer to Hitler than any other in history. Obama just pulled you out of a war and frankly made your country look a little better to the rest of the world. With Bush most Europeans thought we might be getting sucked into WWIII given the fact he started two wars and suspended a lot of liberties for American people. You need to get your facts straight mate.

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  66. Ukan said: A sociopath's impulse control is so low that it is a riot on a constant basis. They don't care about laws in society or rules in a company. They routinely violate laws and even people's personal rights.

    Ultimately, I agree with this. It is the extreme nature of the traits in question which characterize a full blown PD. This is, of course, my unprofessional opinion. I am not a shrink, but this is just logical.

    @Sarah: I completely relate to your last comment. You are so right: the key is being mindful. This is particularly difficult when you struggle with poor impulse control, lol!

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  67. Lol. Do you think Obama cares about the lives of US marines? Obviously Bush didn't and Obama surely does not. Pulling out of the war was a ploy to gain popularity, nothing more.

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  68. You want to see a nightmare just watch a drunk sociopath. You are talking about no impulse control whatsoever. Anything can happen.

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  69. "You want to see a nightmare just watch a drunk sociopath. You are talking about no impulse control whatsoever. Anything can happen."

    This

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  70. Lol. Do you think Obama cares about the lives of US marines? Obviously Bush didn't and Obama surely does not. Pulling out of the war was a ploy to gain popularity, nothing more.

    Welcome to politics mate. Obama is so far from a sociopath it doesn't warrant discussion. The only people that believe that are right wing nutters who are closer to that definition than anyone that served as your president. He's a populist leader. They gain popular support in countries by pushing the will of the labor class. In other countries we have a thing called the Labor Party and others in a parliament who do the same. In comparison your democrats would look like conservitives in europe and your republicans would look like the fascist party. I keep seeing anti-Obama rubbish when you look up narcissism on google. What's funny is when you read it you can tell the people who wrote it are actually the real narcissists.

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  71. Yeah that video would pretty much sum it all up ha ha ha.

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  72. MOAR He fits the definition UKan. He's an ass sober too.

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  73. Not likely. If someone gets close to me when they are aggressive like that I hit them. I don't do all that talking and posturing. I like to sucker punch people when they are still running their mouth that way I have a better chance at winning. All that pushing back and forth and blabbing is for kids in primary school....... Or rich american kids on TV.

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  74. The huge nigg could destroy him.

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  75. I generally avoid fights. I like to be the person in the background stirring the pot, without being held accountable. I'm not a fan of being part of the drama and bitchiness.

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  76. I miss the randomness of TCO. Is he in jail ? Dead? bored of us ? Maybe he is ME???!

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  78. I cried when my Mummy spanked my arse! She always had her middle finger bent when spanking me, that is why I am loose today.

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  79. UKAN
    if, as a child, you were taken by aliens to a deserted planet and you grew up there to have the same thought processes you have now even though you were the only person there with no laws and noone to hurt would you still be a psychopath?

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  80. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  81. Welcome back, David. Save us from Ukans inanities ha ha

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  82. actually my name is joe nietzshe i'm nothing to do with the philosophy dude. so suck on them apples david and why would you bother with such a banal comment, do you point out minor flaws in others because you need to justify you inflated ego to yourself?

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  83. My mum considers me a go getter. She told me one time that someone called to ask her questions about me. Someone from law enforcement in a branch specific to my country. They called my ex wife too. They told her that she had no idea what I was involved in and she went off on them. She told she knew her son more than anyone. I was innocent of that one, but in a way they were right. She is delusional, and I let her have her delusions.

    How bout you david. What do your parents thibk about you being a prostitute?

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  84. UKantanswerthequestionJanuary 17, 2012 at 4:00 PM

    i talk shit

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  85. LMAO joe nietzsche No place but SW

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  87. aw Joe scared him offJanuary 17, 2012 at 4:12 PM

    UKan answer Joe's question! I think you don't like your own inevitable answer. Chicken!

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  88. Frank, hows your pilgrimage?

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  89. if your actually a lonely guy in his parents house fantasising about running a niteclub and being a badass but actually being a tubby bitch with enogh time to be on this site ALL the fucking time

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  90. anyone here ok with taking off the mask for almost anyone who asks the right question? Am thinking about it, and I think people might be ok with it, so long as I don't admit to any criminal etc. acts.

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  91. I don't get drunk anymore. I have a high tolerance for alcohol but I avoid the hard shite because I know how it affects me, and I really dislike being out of control. A mild buzz is all I ever want these days.

    The last time I got really drunk was when I was a teenager. Now I am a good looking woman and I am rather accustomed to guys hitting on me; this was especially true as an adolescent.

    I had this overweight "friend" who had a crush on some guy and one night, we all went out to party together. I don't even remember the guy's name. Back then I didn't know or respect my limits, so I drank whisky until I nearly passed out. I vaguely remember sexually assaulting (lol!) the guy who was partying with us because he was partial to my fat friend. I didn't get it: I had *never* been rejected before and it shocked me that he could choose someone like her over me! He protested because he genuinely liked my friend, but I could not wrap my mind around this in my drunken stupor: she was overweight and gross, in my mind! It didn't even occur to me that he might choose her over me, lol! Talk about narcissism!

    When he started demonstrating a distinct preference for her (she may have been fat, but she was a lot nicer than me) I flirted shamelessly with him. Soon, I threw him down on the ground and shamelessly had my way with him, even though I didn't like him much. Eventually he responded.

    My "friend" was furious with me; I had all of the attention I could possibly want from the opposite sex and she never even got a second glance in my presence. This guy actually had a bit of depth and saw me for the cruel bitch I was at the time. In my adolescent, drunken haze, I simply could not fathom or accept that.

    Pathetic, eh? I would never behave in this fashion now, even if I were totally smashed. But I know better now than to douse myself with so much whisky that I cannot be held accountable for my actions.

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  92. Wow Alter, what a fun story! Your friend get over it or was that it for your friendship?

    I think it must be hard for a dude to resist sex. Even if he really wants to, it must be near impossible to resist a cute chick writhing on top of him. Was he shellshocked during the act or did he get into it?

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  93. @ukan frankfurt is pleased to see another seeker of deep religious integrity. where do you buy your turbans?

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  94. weird how socios never bring sex into the conversation. it's always the beeps lol.

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  95. @Themes! You're a riot. So much love for you.

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  96. A lot of my impulse control comes from a desire to not be a controlling bitch like my mom. She makes me cringe and I truly hate that I can make people feel like that. In this case, it is direct empathy. I know first hand what it feels like to be on the receiving end, so I dont want to be on the giving end, either. I am working on my empathy, being more conscious of peoples actual emotional states and not focusing on how I want them to feel. Trying to be a bit more zen, detached, but not full on dissociated.

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  97. He was saying "no...no..."... At first. :) But I ignored his protests: he was an object as far as I was concerned at the time.

    My friend sort of got over it but she never forgot it. I always treated her like crap, but she craved my presence because I was blunt and excellent at correctly interpreting the hidden motives behind people's actions, including her own. This both attracted and repelled her. Nevertheless, she could be "real" with me because I unfailingly fettered out the truth in her statements from the bullshit. Also, I was cool and popular. :)

    I didn't maintain my friendship with her over the years. I rarely take the time required to maintain friendships; it is too much work, and I don't have a deep need for intimacy that my husband is not fully capable of meeting. People are high maintenance and I get by very well on superficial I friendships that do not require me to invest very much emotionally.

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  98. I had a high maintenance husband and now that he is gone, I mostly have superficial friendships. I have one high maintenance friend who I have drifted from. I have a totally low maintenance lover and life is good. I am really enjoying not having anyone be dependent on me.

    Alter isnt a beeper, btw. Well, she doesnt think she is anyway lol ;) shes the one that brought up raping a man lol

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  99. A person needs a little empathy to cultivate more of it. If you're a socio and the empathy was never there previously, well how can you install empathy from nothing? Empathy and guilt to a socio is alien.

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  100. @ukan are you willing to be sacrifices for siek. is that how you spell it?

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  101. Themes for SW RegularsJanuary 17, 2012 at 5:08 PM

    I love you, too, Sweet Haven :)

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  102. It's a bourbon Tuesday. I watered it down a little, but not as much as I should. What's up Haven?

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  103. Hi there Raven =) Not too much. I'm dead exhausted today. Woke up in the middle of the night, couldn't fall back to sleep, super busy day at work + presentations. I'm in collapse and relax mode.

    How're you?

    wv: bridess (hint hint)

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  104. frankfurt's passport photo



    http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/art/news/lifestyles/links/turban_sikh.jpg

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  106. Guess who broke it, david wuhahahaha

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  107. Trauma? You're such a flamer, Dave. What a fucking pussy you are.

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  108. I've had a great evening. Drinks are on me!

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  109. I think it must be hard for a dude to resist sex.

    Not in the slightest, in actual fact over the past 20 years I've found it quite the reverse. I frequently am the one to decline sex, and often times if it's someone new am catagorised immediatlely.. "Oh, your one of them" etc.

    On the other hand when I don't feel like fucking one of my g/fs they tend to just get all huffy. They get over it soon enough because they soon remember that when I do it blows their mind so it's worth the attempt at trying.

    I suggest you try and get some genuine men in your life who "have brains" shall we say; those that don't just like down like a dog to societal expectations that they should hump everything that moves.

    The men you speak of should be shot, and so should those women who think all men are like that. They are quite clearly defective and missing a fair amount of brain matter.

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  110. raping a man lol

    This sort of hypocrisy is utterly astounding.

    Do you laugh when a women gets raped? If so then your comment is fair enough, otherwise learn how to be intellectual instead of emotional.

    It's as bad as women who demand "the right to choose" whether to work or stay at home with the kids. What about the males "right to choose"? what if he wants to look after the kids? What about his choice? don't hear about the much huh!

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  111. Touchy touchy. Someones got their boxers in a bunch.

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  112. I never said that my conduct within the context of this incident was defensible; quite the contrary, it was reprehensible behavior on my behalf. But that is just the kind of person I was as a teenager.

    That Sarah should chuckle about it might demonstrate a lack of empathy, but this a blog called "sociopathworld", lol! Finding humour in inappropriate situations has nothing to do with emotion vs. intellect.

    For the record, I think it is perfectly acceptable for a man to stay home with his children if the husband and wife agree to this arrangement. What does that have to do with anything?

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  113. My boxers always end up bunching. It's a bad trait of mine.

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  114. "boxers in a bunch" indeed, hehe

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  115. Tonight I'm watching: In the Line of Fire
    Old school shit. You younguns should give it a whirl...

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  116. how do you rate frankfurt, looks wise?

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  117. The concept of raping a man is what I found amusing. Especially the notion that a teenage boy could really say no (which he did but obviously he relented). Its not like she hogtied him and sodomized him with a broom handle. The situation she described was coercive, but not necessarily rape.

    I also see nothing wrong with reversing the roles. And no woman had to "fight" to be a stay at home mom, thats the defunct position. Only reason it is hard nowadays is the economy.

    Ive also noted before that I have blunted empathy, and I work hard to be more empathetic day to day, but irl. I really could give a flying fuck if some anon gets their boxers in a twist.

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  118. cute
    very cute
    gorgeous
    ugly
    a little ugly
    rank

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  119. Old school shit. You younguns should give it a whirl...

    You know your old when what's classified as old seems young. Saw it at the movies and it really doesn't seem that long ago.

    Red Dwarf reruns for me!

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  120. Why do you work to be more empathic? What's the payoff?

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  121. "Saw it at the movies"

    So did I. And yeah... it was long enough ago.

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  122. The payoff for empathy is a sense of belonging and connection.

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  123. Yeah what MK said.

    It is easier for me to not be a total bitch and enjoy life if I cultivate my empathy. I tend toward less destructive (inward or out) impulses as a result.

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  124. Connection and a sense of belonging... must be a miserable thing. Empathic people seem more miserable than not.

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  125. And yeah... it was long enough ago.

    Sometimes time compresses and sometimes it expands. I might recall something that happened when I was 18 yet it only seems like a few years ago. The reverse is also true in that an event that took place a few years ago seems like a decade ago.

    Shits me no end. Especially in conversation where I'll use the phrase "a few weeks ago" when it was a few months ago or visa-versa.

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  126. My first thought after posting would be that someone would say that. But no, I'm not unfortunately.

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  127. Can someone describe empathy. It seems vague from what I've read.

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  128. LOL I wouldn't know. I come from a long line of cold mother fuckers!

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  129. y dos socia hav 9000 alias's?

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  130. I think it is just being able to flip inside the head of someone or the heart, more so, and to feel what they are feeling. That is it. I don't think it is anything more than that, no morality, values etc

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  131. Empathy:
    the unnecessary desire to feel for someone else when in reality you are only feeling for the other person so others can feel for you whenst the time is right. A.K.A., dick stroking.

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  132. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

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  133. I think it is just being able to flip inside the head of someone or the heart, more so, and to feel what they are feeling.

    This will no doubt sound like a ridiculous question, but I'm confused as to why this is meant to be a good thing. From a societal point of view I mean. Why should I have to feel what other people are feeling.. I'm not them, so why is not doing so considered a fault?

    I think this place is prone to making ones brain hurt.

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  134. I'm thinking about taking a trip to New Orleans. Eat some nasty crawfish by the buckets, and pickle my brain in liquor sun up, to sun down.

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  135. @boxers
    The upside is that you can trust yourself to be "like" others i.e. you can trust that what you feel is felt by the majority of others. That is a peace, as you do not have to "fake" as if you feel something you don't.

    The "mask" is a faking of what the person with empathy feels, naturally.

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  136. You're up WAY past your bedtime, aren't you Caroline? Hemorrhoids flaring up?

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  137. @ Raven I got the perfect man for you? Frankfurt

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  138. I actually think I may have found my man. For the time being anyway.

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  139. The upside is that you can trust yourself to be "like" others i.e. you can trust that what you feel is felt by the majority of others.

    Ya know, I think of myself as intelligent on the whole but I still don't see it.

    I'm sure it's a simple concept so call me retarded or another equally apt name but how can anyone trust they know what the majority of others feel unless they are within that persons head? For example, no-one knows what I'm not feeling so how can anyone be sure they know what others are/are not feeling. Fuck me dead I'll try and stop going around in circles now.

    Damn that 'next blog' button and damn trying to prolong procrastinating an attempt at study by actually using said 'next blog' button.

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  140. That's how I found this cesspool of magnificence!

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  141. boxersinabunch said...
    I'm sure it's a simple concept so call me retarded or another equally apt name but how can anyone trust they know what the majority of others feel unless they are within that persons head?


    umm mirror neurons?

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  142. Can a sociopath be scared of watching a horror movie and then be scared of irrational things after the movie for a couple of days?

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  143. Always working the graveyard shift, eh Zoe?

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  144. My wife said you can feel the emotions of someone else by looking at them. Sounds creepy. Like a bunch of bees

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  145. Ukan : Can a sociopath be scared of watching a horror movie and then be scared of irrational things after the movie for a couple of days?

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  146. That's how I found this cesspool of magnificence!

    Cheeky bastards aren't they.

    umm mirror neurons?

    Thanks. Whether it is - or your just taking the piss and it isn't - at least it's something to research and as such the procrastination can continue. Thankgod for that otherwise I might have actually had to do some work.

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  147. Please, don't ignore me fellas.

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  148. It sounds like this one time... at band camp...

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  149. I dunno. I can't speak for the sociopaths. Not many movies scare me unless it has a lot of surprises. I don't think on it after. Its a good little jolt. Same for most people I'm sure.

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  150. UKan : Thank you, brother!

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  151. Scary movies don't scare me... Though the sixth sense was creepy, but i was young when I saw it. Usually they just annoy me.

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  152. But what about movies like paranormal activity or REC? The ones with cams when you really don't know what is going to happen. And it looks real too.

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  153. Damn. The more I drink, the more sober I feel. WTF?

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  154. I was there when jesus saved me

    Saved my soul

    The very moment he forgave me

    Made me whole

    Yes I was there when it happened, so i guess i oughta know

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  155. @Anon: I don't self-identify as a sociopath. Speaking as a person who inherited a truckload of antisocial traits, I can honestly say that horror movies don't scare me. I tend to prefer thrillers as a genre; I love dark movies. I avoid the really gory or flagrantly satanic crap, for ideological reasons, but if a movie can make me jump, so much the better. I like getting scared. :)

    "Strangers" was an excellent thriller. "Descent" made me jump a couple of times, ha! "White Noise" compelled my husband and I to listen to a bunch of it, lol!

    I saw the movies you mentioned and they didn't have much of an impact on me. But that's just me.

    There is only one movie that creeped me out for a day or two afterward, and it is one that is totally lame-ass by most people's standards: "The Blair Witch Project", LOL!! For some reason, that shite totally creeped me out. I even had a nightmare about it- something that had never happened before on account of anything I'd ever watched or read. (I don't really have nightmares.)

    I also thought the movie was very innovative -it begat a whole new genre- and for these reasons, I count it among my favourites. :)

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  156. narcissists will use anything to boast, even a pd. "my personality disorder is better than yours"

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  157. God. Even on the wee subject of scary movies, you write a script half a mile long, Jack. I bet you can talk any gal under the table in your sleep!

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  158. Maybe I write so prolifically to compensate for the fact that I don't talk all that much, hah!

    I don't really talk about this stuff with my friends. We'll talk shop a lot. If it gets personal, I'll usually steer the conversation toward their interests and issues, and I'll listen to them, occasionally offering my advice.

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  159. Alter, you're not a sociopath, you're just a rational.

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  160. Do you think you just like the way all your pretty words look on the screen? You give me cotton mouth just looking at it.

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  161. I do have to wonder at your considering 5 paragraphs to be so very prolific.

    ADD much? (No offense, btw. I'm pretty sure I have ADHD, lol!)

    I probably just irk you because I'm Christian. :)

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  162. You went back and counted? How typical...

    You can't read me, Jack. So many people here think they can, and you are one. But none of them can and neither can you.

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  163. I think prolific was your own claim.most of us don't even read your essays on yourself. It's way too many words about one person. But whatever makes you feel special and smart. I bet people told you you were special your whole life.

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  164. @MK: Well thank you for that interesting opinion, hehe. :)

    As far as I'm concerned, I'm just me, although I have never been so transparent in my entire life. Mirroring myself against a group of others who share similar traits has proved very interesting and informative.

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  165. Jeepers, alter, has it really? I just don't know how you opened up to all these little ole sociopaths. You must be so darn proud. And feel so darn smart. All those monologues taught you so much, surely you should give self help seminars and speeches so you can spread your gift for self discovery! At the very least you should obviously start your memoirs.

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  166. @Kanney: Some people told me I was special, others consistently reinforced that I was quite the opposite. I don't really feel like a special little snowflake, LOL

    Some people do read them, although probably not the people you give a hoot about, MK. And that's all that matters to you, right? :)

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  167. Nice try.
    So you're saying you care what caroline gives a hoot about? Have you cs sidereal narcissism over sociopaths?

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  168. "Proud of opening up to a bunch of little ole sociopaths?!"

    LMAO! Mk, where do you get this stuff? Why on earth would that make me proud?

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  169. Perhaps you missed the condescension and sarcasm.

    I haven't read too many of your self centered monologues (for that reason) but having anactual dialog with you is starting to make me see the natural narcissism underlying everything that you say. Was the religious card an ego boost?

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  170. MK, I don't really care about what anyone here thinks/reads/does, etc, LOL

    I may have slight narcissistic tendencies, but I don't fit the profile of someone with narcissism as a personality disorder at all. :)

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  171. Lol. OK :) I'm sure your diagnosis is super right on. :D

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  172. You are just a silly-head, Kanney. :)

    I am sorry, but you remind me one one of those flighty little caged birds that chirps a lot. But you're vicious, always peck, peck, pecking away, LOL

    I do not lend one iota of credence to a single word that you say. :)

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  173. Your feminine aggression is endearing. Like even when you're trying to be mean it plays into your sense of superiority with a theatrical performance like tonality. Please, play another one.

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  174. It's almost like your constantly smiling for a camera.

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  175. "You can't read me, Jack. So many people here think they can, and you are one. But none of them can and neither can you"

    I don't think I can quite read you, Raven. But you have told me openly that you are hostile toward Christianity; I get it.

    And you can't read me either.

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  176. Oh come on, alter. You're an open book.

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  177. And you are just wrong... about so much that it is almost endearingly comical! :)

    I do smile a lot, though. You are right about that. But it's because I don't take myself or others especially seriously most of the time, hehe.

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  178. Tehe. I'm just so darn cute. A right southern belle you are, lassie.

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  179. Actually, I'm a displaced Nordic Scot, with a bit of Irish blood in thrown in for good measure. LOL!!

    But thank-you. I'll choose to take that as a compliment, m'lady. :)

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  180. You play your female card thick. I can hear how batty your lashes are. Do you find it to be disarming when you become increasingly cute under pressure?

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  181. Batty eyelashes, LOL

    I'm more of a tomboy than a flirt. But you may have something concerning the "increasingly cute under pressure". I hadn't ever noticed that, but I do like it, so maybe I'll keep it, try to work it. :)

    You should ask my husband if he finds me increasingly "cute under pressure", LOL! I'm not sure what he'd say in response to that, hehe.

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  182. In all seriousness, when I am under *real* pressure (i.e: physical danger) I tend to go emotionally numb and get down to freaking business, fast.

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  183. Seriously the excessive lols are getting silly. And please, tell us more about yourself and how great you are.

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  184. But those thoughts strike me as particularly amusing! :)

    Wish I could stay and shoot the shite some more, Kanney, but I have a big day tomorrow and I have to go to bed now.

    But I'll chat with you anytime in the future.

    Night SW!

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  185. You go to bed at 7 in the morning when you have a big day?

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  186. @Kanney: Argh! You caught me checking one last time... for your response, he he.

    I said I was a *displaced* Scot. But thank you for confirming your nationality... Ciara? :)

    Now G'night, for real this time! :P

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  187. Ciara, ha ha. You reduced her to amis level. Nice job kanney. Or am I kanney........

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  188. Oh for Heaven's sake I was teasing her, Kannit. You have not made a secret of your nationality. It it *is* honourable that you should step in to defend your wife. I like that in a man.

    That said, she didn't reduce me to anything. She just made a bunch of amusing, inaccurate assessments about my character, revealing her youthful naïveté and an over-inflated estimation of her own perspicacity. :)

    Good morning, SW!



    wv: bless (I swear, lol!)

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