Saturday, February 18, 2012

Why sociopaths seem more normal than normal

One of the reasons that the average person won't be able to identify a sociopath when she meets one is that sociopaths do a better job of acting normal than even neurotypical people do. Here's an illustration of what I mean: once I had a colleague review a resume I'd drafted using several different typefaces. The colleague, in an effort to make the document appear uniform, insisted that more space be put here, less there. I explained that the spacing was actually uniform, according to the program, and that the lack of uniformity was just the result of an optical illusion. She told me that it doesn't matter if the spacing is technically uniform, it doesn't matter if it is an optical illusion, the whole point of the endeavor is for the spacing to appear uniform, so if it doesn't appear uniform, we're not going to change the human perception of the document, we're just going to change the document.

Uber-empaths always feel like they need to be true to their feelings. If they feel something, it must be right. But sometimes these more emotional empaths have the equivalent of optical illusions -- maybe they are cranky and overly sensitive, maybe they are hormonal, maybe they are taking mood modifying drugs. Reality is different for everyone, but most empaths aren't daily confronted with that fact like sociopaths are. So empaths just go on their merry little way screaming in a coffee shop when their order is incorrect and generally being true to their feelings even if it makes them look like a crazy person.

Sociopaths, on the other hand, realize that emotions are at best shadows of truth and at worst complete fabrications. Sociopaths are not interested in being true to their feelings, but rather constantly projecting an image of normalcy. This ability to detach actual emotions felt with impressions conveyed is why some politicians and celebrities succeed and some don't. Nowadays everyone has an image consultant. The average person knows that. But does the average person realize to what extent the expression of emotions or convictions is being falsified in order to convey what the audience perceives?

Today I had an opportunity to do a little public speaking. By working with the uber-empath's predictable propensity to the emotional equivalent of optical illusions, I was successfully able to convey sincerity much better than if I had actually been feeling it. I think there may be a career in politics for me after all.

121 comments:

  1. But does the average person realize to what extent the expression of emotions or convictions is being falsified in order to convey what the audience perceives?

    Sheeple, no; People I hang with, yes.

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  2. Good Morning Everyone!

    I hope everyone is as happy today as I am.
    I feel the need to share this simple, yet touching song of praise. It tells us of how God works all things out for us, but in HIS time, not ours.

    I think many of us, myself included, want to put God on OUR schedule. But only God can know the plan he has for us, and HIS plan is more divine than what we want for ourselves. So it is only right that we should allow him to work his will on us, but on HIS schedule.

    I hope you like this pretty ditty! :)
    http://youtu.be/q9ajCFo5j9Q

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eden, at least this is better than Anon 1. Stay in this character, for awhile,and give us a break he he

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    2. Thank you Christian Sister.

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    3. We have another Christian Witness, Ladies. Praise the Lord

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    4. sister christian frankfurt f wants to give up geek orthodox.

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    5. You're welcome, Tik.
      I heard a little girl in our church sing that song.
      It sounds even prettier when children sing it, and I found some on Youtube that had children singing, but the pictures with the one I posted were best.

      @frankfurt You sound like such a sweetie. I just want to give you a big hug! :)

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    6. i hope you are not a fake. frankfurt does not like that.

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    7. I'm not a fake, frankfurt. I know how hard that is to believe on the internet, so all I can do ask you to trust me, and leave the rest up to you. I think you should know by now not to take too much here to heart. I'm not trying to sound like your mother, or maybe I'm just giving my own little old self a lecture.

      I was wrong to say what I did the other day, frankfurt. I took too much to heart and I shouldn't have. This place is free for all to be what they want, and I can respect that. Are you a fake frankfurt? Do you feel like you are right with God, or are you a non-believer?

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    8. i tried geek orthodox but girls who want a cool guy not a geek.

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    9. Praise Yahweh!

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  3. I liked this article I think most politicans are socio variants. Thatw why I don't vote

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    Replies
    1. And by being politically disengaged, you are allowing them to run the show uncontested.

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    2. martinlutherking of socipathsFebruary 18, 2012 at 1:15 PM

      And what if they were all very empath? I think everyone would have been dead long ago...

      Also, any politician would tell you that voting is completely pointless.

      Yo M.e.! set yourself up a super p.a.c., I heard it's an easy thing to do these days. Good thing you're anonymous on here, ay?

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    3. Voting is pointless, but so is being politically disengaged. Best way to work a system is from within. Manipulate from inside.

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    4. Most politicians ARE sociopaths. Those who aren't that by nature pretty soon learn to act like socios or find themselves out of the game.

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  4. Replies
    1. Amazing! That was so intuitive of you! God has us reaching out to each other with our hearts today. I was just thinking earlier, how I long to be with my Christian friends in Africa, as they do their Missionary work there.

      I have chills all down my arms from you posting this song. I told you guys! God is working his miracles, right here on SociopathWorld.

      I should write a letter to them today, and I'll tell them about your post to me. Thank you so much!

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    2. Someone please make it stop^^^

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    3. The Sister Christian character is quite obnoxious, but hella funny. Just go with it.

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    4. It is not funny because it is too blatant. To be funny, one must be subtle but Eden is too stooopid for that

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    5. Dumbass. Cant be too subtle here. It will get lost. Nature of the medium. No depth to communication. Makes it more difficult to construe irony or sarcasm.

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    6. Not so, Sir. Humor can come across in text. The problem is that the person has to be witty, which Eden is not lol

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    7. Give up the ghost anon. I'm sick to death of you trying to prove that every other poster here, is Eden. I'm sure I'm not the only one getting tired of hearing it.

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    8. WHAT other regular would make up such a lackluster fake character?

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    9. Who cares? Why do you care so much? Sounds like you're the only one it's eating at. Stop taking up the whole blog with your paranoia and move on.

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    10. Eden Christian is taking up the whole blog, Sister.

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    11. "Eden Christian is taking up the whole blog, Sister."

      No she isn't. You are. The same goes for yesterday. More time was spent obsessing on talking about Eden, than anything else. Today, I see that Sister Christian put up one post. Then she responded to the comments that were directed at her.
      You need to calm down and let it be. If it is an impostor, they will get bored with the character and move on.

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    12. Let's just drop it. If Eden is Sister Christian, who cares lol

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    13. Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden Eden

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  5. This is a nice "feel good" morning.

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  6. I wonder who these "uber-empaths" are that ME speaks of. Most empaths I meet seem barely empathic. Everyone is so wrapped up in themselves most of the time. Obviously, it is quite normal that most people are assholes, or we wouldnt have religions telling them to not be assholes and threatening eternal damnation as punishment for their natural assholishness.

    So who are the "uber-empaths"? Nuns? Missionaries?

    People who cry when the commercial comes on with the dogs in the pound and their big sad eyes?

    Sometimes the way ME writes is so oversimplified when it comes to "empaths". Like all people are just stupid and emotional and care about others all the time. I would love to meet these people. I would move one into my house to keep it clean. I would just give them a sob story about how a dirty house triggers anxiety issues for me and wouldnt they help? And they would.

    But this is the real world, where even most "empathic" people are totally self centered. Its nothing new, either, look at history. Socios arent the only assholes out there. Its just easier for them to be assholes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many people are empathic, but they have requirements for their empathy, it's not unconditional. If you're good looking, likable, clean etc, people will obviously be more willing to help you because there is relation.

      Have you questioned why you haven't been treated fairly anon? Are you an outcast in any way, perhaps overly friendly? Sociopaths get treated like kings because they know exactly what society expects, even subconsciously. Usually because they grew up in regular old families and they don't have to ACT normally, they simply are regular people. They can "play the game" if you will.

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    2. I havent been treated unfairly. My question is what the fuck is an uber empath, and if they are so common, why do we have war?

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    3. Uber empaths are generally patriotic. It's easy for ruthless leaders to swindle the idealistic empaths into dying, or murdering for their country.

      Convincing empaths that they are better than others and dehumanizing the "other" also makes them capable of anything. A sociopath doesn't need to dehumanize something to kill it.

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    4. Ok that sounds reasonable. These are the people that deliver the shock in the experiment. The easily swayed.

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    5. What a tool. ^ This place is full of brainless idiots. Goodbye.

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    6. Which anon are you referring to ?

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  7. Socios have emotions, contempt, anger, fear and envy, but have zero tender emotions like, caring and empathy.

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  8. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fqq051BU2MY

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  9. For a change of pace, not that I'm not enthralled with today's discussion...

    I got a summons at 1 AM last night for walking my dog after the park was closed. The cop wouldn't produce a badge or police ID, he opened up his personal wallet, tapped on some random card and quickly put it back in his pocket. I said it's not a badge he got offended took handcuffs out of his pocket and said "is this enough ID?" He was seriously a Steinbeck Lenny type. He did not like that I said "You're scaring me." He took me personally, got even closer. He was offended, made me stand in the light of the car. At some point I started walking away and said I'd meet him outside the park in a public area. His partner then got out and started walking quickly towards me. The partner indeed had a badge around his neck and produced another from his wallet. The partner said if I ever think a cop isn't as cop I should call 911, and ther'd be 8 police cars showing up, and do I really want THAT??...

    What the Fuck?

    When the first cop handed me the summons, he also told me how to get out of it. He wanted to shake my hand at the end. I'd asked him if he had kids, if he had female kids. He said yes, and that he also had a dog and he was going to let me go, but not after I gave him a hard time, and again told me how to get out of the charge.

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    Replies
    1. I love your stories, Bella. I wish you would tell us your craziest story. I bet its awesome!

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    2. Please, my stories aren't awesome. I wanted to know what people thought. I displayed fear with the cop. I wanted to run away from him and the more frightened I looked, the more he took my emotions personally. He moved forward at me with clenched fists and very angrily said "you're afraid of ME?" He was insulted and looked frighteningly fearful of me. I am a tiny person and he is burly. The more frightened I got, the more violent he looked. I believe we scared one another. It caused him to puff up and start bullying me. He wanted to punish me for being afraid of him.

      The story is about fight and flight. It is a subject that is brought up here sometimes. I wanted to hear what others thought.

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    3. I guess no one was interested

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    4. The moment was gone a while back. That's fine.

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  10. Anyway, to change the subject back to what the blog is about. I study ME's posts. I came up with my consolidated thoughts about what attracts certain woman to sociopaths. A sociopath is like a contortionist in that he can do something unique among men. He can be the perfect mirror. To some woman who had little mirroring, this is totally intoxicating, like heroin.

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  11. That is because they validate that you exist, Monica. They cheerlead you by saying Yes to your emotions. They pretend to feel them with you, or they do it by habit to the point a person wants to be around them. I don't even think it had to do with mirroring. People are all looking for someone to say they are "correct" to feel this way or that way. And that is politics. Your company is always right and you want your company to want to come back and be around you because they understand you so well. They make you feel good about yourself, about your plights -Politics.

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  12. Monika=Bella=Caroline

    Now you're no longer just talking to yourself again, there, Monika, you are having a debate too...

    You win the nut biscuit easily, in this place

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  13. I hear you, Bella, but I think it is much deeper than a "Yes" man.

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    Replies
    1. Learn to reply in the right place.

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  14. I think it is the NATURE of the sociopaths flexible self that makes him a unique seducer *Sigh*

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    Replies
    1. Are you addicted to the seduction? Too emotionally unavailable yourself to have a real relationship, so you seek out socios to play fantasy romance with from time to time? Too afraid of liking sex for sex so you have to build it into something elevated so you can get off? Do you have rape fantasies, too?

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    2. I just love being flooded with feeling when they look at me. I don't feel, numb. It is amazing to be made to feel so loved.

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    3. Anon 1:22
      I don't know the answers to your questions.

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    4. "I just love being flooded with feeling when they look at me. I don't feel, numb. It is amazing to be made to feel so loved."

      That's Ego talking. You don't care about the person, you only care about how they make you feel.

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    5. Perhaps, but that factor is there for every person, to a greater or lesser degree.

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    6. I did not write that above drivel. That is someone who dogs me, constantly.

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    7. Actually, to answer Anon's genuine question. It is not an intellectual thing. I think it is the mirroring thing.

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    8. Which means what?

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    9. All you are saying is that you like looking at yourself in the mirror.

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    10. You better not be Eden being a jack ass, again. I will assume you are not Did you READ what I wrote on Mirroring? Don't ask a new question until you have done the assignment.

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    11. If someone says something you do not like or does not fit into your rigid view of yourself, it must be Eden, eh?

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    12. Eden is your scapegoat for your own flaws.

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    13. That was totally unnecessary, Monica. I see no one being an ass to you. You are letting the prankster anons go to your head.

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    14. Eden just goes after people. Look how she went after Erin like a total train wreck. I think it is in very bad form to do that.

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    15. How does Eden going after Erin relate to this conversation? I don't see anyone going after you. Are you the one who keeps bringing Eden up under cover of anon?

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    16. I am just tired of Eden, in general. She is not my type of person.

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    17. If Anons are going after Eden, that is not my problem.

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    18. You must be bored, Monica. I think you're the one doing all of the trolling so you can hang it on Eden, and get sympathy for it. You need to get a life.

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  15. SW needs more of these kind of posts.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Richard :) are you a sociopath?

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    2. Because if you are, I want to cup your sack!

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    3. We're going to give away that we're not Monica because we are replying in the correct place. Bad on us.

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  16. It's funny when you're anon people always seem to assume you are male.

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  17. I think that sociopaths seem to forget that there are a lot of other people than just garden variety sheople. Others with pds. People who have taken psychedelics. People who are extremely introspective. Not everyone is a mindless zombie. Just because we arent sociopaths ourselves, doesnt mean we dont have some antisocial tendencies. Not everyone is on auto pilot all the time.

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    Replies
    1. You are all morons. If you aren't a psychopath, you are mentally handicapped.

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  18. What's this? A two person circus? Or is it turning into only one person?

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  19. Hi I'm Monica I pretend to forget to use the reply link but really I just want to make sure everyone sees my comments because I need to attention.

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  20. Psychopathic killers are not mad, according to accepted legal and psychiatric standards. Their acts result not from a deranged mind but from a cold, calculating rationality combined with a chilling inability to treat others as thinking, feeling human beings. Such morally incomprehensible behavior, exhibited by a seemingly normal person, leaves us feeling bewildered and helpless.
    Dr. Robert D. Hare

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  21. I did have that fake Anon 1 going after me, as a matter of fact.

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  22. Both anons. Possibly (but not for definite, although i do hope since it means there's one less imbecile in our midst) they are the same person having a conversation with themself and trying to validate themself in that way that only some insane schizo or attention starved person does on this site. A heads up, an uber empath, as ME puts it, does exist, and they most likely have the same antisocial, objective mindset as the type of people you are exalting, (and please don't exalt anyone you fool) and no, they are very unlikely to be 'patriots.' If you have limited life experience, and limited capacity to actually study human beings and human nature, then spare us your idiotic summations.
    So, in conclusion, you, are the sheep. You yourself. And for that, I envy you. Now go on your way and don't think that just cos you have a mouth and voice, you should be using it.

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  23. that was a reply to an above post. It didn't work...oh well au revoir.

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  24. monica, shut up. Just shut up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you repulse any woman here with any pride and dignity. If I insult you a thousand times you'll take it, you won't even argue back, that makes you endlessly pathetic and embaressing. Your trolliness has outstayed it's welcome.

      Delete
  25. what is your problem, notme? Are you drunk? I never had a problem with you. Most of the Monica's today are not me. People love to pretend to be me.

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    Replies
    1. If I am a troll, I am the only troll who cares about the subject matter lol

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  26. hardly no one posts here anymore ME, why do you think that is? I'd like to think it's the troll factor, people with different names, but they're the same person. You need consistency and honesty here ME, there's none of that and it makes this place a free for all, disingenuous...I genuinely think you should set up a system where people have to register to comment....it will get rid of all this hopeless, useless trolling which makes your blog so null and void. People don't come here because it's a joke now. Just saying. Don't listen to me...I just thought I'd give some advice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down. Just because the people you want to hear from don't comment, doesn't mean anything. It certainly doesn't make this place any more disingenuous than before. You want to watch a soap opera: Turn on the tele.

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    2. notme, have you considered the possibility that a lot of the regulars needed to take a break from each other? Change is probably very scary for you, but if things always stayed as they are, the world would be very dull indeed.

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    3. Too much of anything is off putting.

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  27. Explains sociopaths --

    “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

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    Replies
    1. Very eloquent. What is the source of the quote?

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    2. I'm in this state right now and it fucking sucks.

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  28. Dolly keeps a Secret
    Safer than a Friend
    Dolly's Silent Sympathy
    Lasts without end.
    Friends may betray us
    Love may Decay
    Dolly's Discretion
    Outlasts our Day.

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  29. What is so lovable about sociopaths is that they do not care about differences. If they see something in you, they'll hang on to you and be your friend. No matter how fat you are, no matter how much you look like an alien, no matter the clothes you wear. Empaths are sheeps and will mock you for being different and not a follower like them.

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  30. This is an intriguing post to me. The more I read and study Buddhism, the more I realize that this state of detaching from one's feelings is something that sociopaths do without even trying.

    Much of Buddhism trains emotional detachment through meditation. This type of detachment is not necessarily unhealthy, but rather, underscores the idea that the core of all human suffering comes from being attached. Attached to our emotions, people, outcomes, jobs, even our own perceived identities.

    Enlightenment, as defined by Buddha, is the pure state of consciousnesses where the self no longer identifies with the emotional attachments to anything or anyone.

    Apparently, it is within this space, this freedom that we are free to love this world and our existence in the purest way possible.

    Is it possible that the sociopath is closer to being enlightened than the average person?

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    Replies
    1. Brilliant Lizy. Thank God for someone who wants to talk about something more than inanities!!!!! If I could hone my problem to one word, it would be ego. Any reduction of it, takes tremendous struggle.I must bang my head against the proverbial wall until it hurts so badly that I realize I don't need to do it, anymore.

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    2. No. Wisdom and compassion are prereqs for enlightenment. Without empathy, no compassion.

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    3. No, not really. Buddhist enlightenment is (among other things)a triumph over the ego. A typical's sociopath world pretty much revolves around the ego.

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  31. @ Monica - Thanks. Since the new format, there seems to be better conversations. I've been more inclined to comment & actually used to comment quite regularly.

    A little insight for you, however...I have learned that even the "struggle" itself is an attachment. What if you allowed the struggle to exist? Meditate on it. Give it a face, and invite it into your proverbial home? Because you and I know that it is already inside. So, make it your guest, be hospitable. Then ask what the struggle wants from you. You might find that when you no longer fight it...it loses its importance. And then, you can observe the struggle through a lens of detachment.

    @ Anon - Yes...there is that. A shame really. The emotional detachment a sociopath has seems almost a gift. But you are correct. Within the space of detachment, there must exist the compassion from which enlightenment is possible. Thank you for reminding me of this.

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  32. "[wants to project normalcy]...I explained that the spacing was actually uniform, according to the program..."

    e.g. the other day you mention perfect lying in a shop witnessed by a friend who experiences shadow of doubt. The fact she experienced that shadow - unless you wanted that result for some reason - means that your lying was imperfect, because its very perfection should not have been the objective given the friend was standing there.

    ReplyDelete
  33. "These more emotional empaths have the equivalent of optical illusions -- maybe they are cranky and overly sensitive, maybe they are hormonal..."

    Wait, wait... can't sociopaths be hormonal? Surely a female sociopath is biologically affected by hormones as much as an empath? In which case, if that doesn't induce emotional moodswings, what DOES happen?

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  34. I agree, sociopaths don't need to go trough their feelings, like normal people do, that's why they can acting better too. (:

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  35. You sociopaths aren't as normal you seem.

    ReplyDelete
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