Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Like father, like daughter (part 1)

From a reader:


I emailed a couple years ago when I was still playing the victim and trying to change my husband. I still struggle with both, but less often. We were married almost a decade and recently divorced. I will email later in detail about my ongoing process of acceptance and a determination to be a good parent. I believe my empathy for my ex and honesty about who I am is vital, if we are to be good parents. I will not allow my anger to endanger what is important to both of us. My faults were many and destructive. I would not surrender. He does not pretend to think like many other people. He went from a life of addiction and behaviors that harmed others to now, with many years clean and sober and a PhD in counseling. He acknowledges being a sociopath and for many years was on disability for that reason, until he got through grad school. Trust me, I was the perfect toy, a whole lotta fun... until he was no longer having fun. The perfect match. It took me years to catch on. I have recently been diagnosed as Borderline at middle age. He taught me about me, though the outcome was not what he expected. I will not tell him he helped me of course. He still gets angry and threatens my life and then denies it, but today I know I am not, as he used to say, "psychotic, delusional, and hearing things." I just hang up and do not engage. Next phone call is civil of course. He really was good. I also exhibit many of his traits, though I feel guilt and remorse. I really tried.

I have had people say he will abuse our children. I do not agree. I have seen fear in him one time, when our daughter was born and was not breathing. I knew to be scared because he never showed fear before or since. He cried twice, both times about the kids and their safety.

Our children adore their daddy. They are with him 3 weekends a month and every time he gets time off work and holidays. Unless you can convince me otherwise, I believe he loves them fiercely. He has a great fear of their being mistreated at school. He was subjected to harsh punishment in elementary school. All he wanted to know was what he had done wrong. Our 5 yr old son seems to be an empath.  Our daughter is 7. Wow! Her dad and I can talk constructively about how to teach her. If she knows what is in it for her, she will adjust her own behavior. She is fearless and passionate and I love that about her. As long as I keep my word to her, she feels safe and trusts me. I do not believe that it is impossible for a sociopath to be a good loving parent. Will you tell what you know?

208 comments:

  1. like father like sone (1st)

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  2. Swetcheek's and I have been making out all night.

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  3. Sweetcheek's oops. She has the most incredible boobs.

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  4. Hola SW. I suppose the definition of love varies from person to person, so I wouldn't say its impossible; however, I believe what you see as love is far different than the fathers.

    I wonder what would lead anyone to worry about abuse with the children other than you blabbing about him being a sociopath.

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  5. Thanks vm.... sheesh is anything private?

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  6. for me love is obsesion the will to dominate + the feeling of being high on crack.verry much like me describes it. (i never feel annything that's perhaps why it's so intens than god i've only had that twice)

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  7. He has empathy, an indicator that he isn't a psychopath.

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  8. When will readers realize that we do not see others as human beings, but objects. For me to kick my daughter , or molest her would be no different than doing it to a stuffed animal (don't get any ideas)

    Your husband is displaying empathy which means he was probably pretending to be heartless all those years, he may have underlying issues, rather than actually being a heartless psychopath. He is the sort of person who could "improve" with counseling because there is a human element to him.

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    1. Are you saying the true psychopath never feels anything for anyone, ever?

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    2. Callous lack of empathy. What does that mean?

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    3. "He is the sort of person who could "improve" with counseling because there is a human element to him."

      I guess they're all different. I'd have written "He is the sort of person that COULD "improve" with couseling..."

      I don't go after men who need fixing or training anymore. I've never felt better in my life.

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  9. Here's to kicking daughters.

    Happy Valentines Day SW

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUG2SQK03tU

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  10. My DICK in a box. Best gift ever.

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    1. no no, my DICK is the best gift ever!

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    2. Yum anal warts. VerY atTraActivE.

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    3. Eat me, I'm good for HPV

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  11. "I just hang up and do not engage. Next phone call is civil of course. He really was good. I also exhibit many of his traits, though I feel guilt and remorse. I really tried."

    The first time I heard my antisocial ex scream at me, when we hung up the phone I texted him back: "I don't need this shit. Don't call me tomorrow unless you're in a better mood" The next time it happened I left for the weekend unexpectedly and told him he couldn't call past a certain hour, that I'd be turning off my phone. He thought I was cheating and I thought he deserved to feel out of control. I don't believe sociopaths really understand that when they treat people like shit they'll get the same in return. You play with shit and your hands get dirty. Any normal person will stop feeling guilt and remorse (with THEM) when they have a sociopath for a partner. You begin to compartmentalize and start using them right back. If you don't, you're fucked. Why stay?

    You never have a kid with a sociopath. Period.

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  12. If she knows what is in it for her, she will adjust her own behavior. She is fearless and passionate and I love that about her. As long as I keep my word to her, she feels safe and trusts me. I do not believe that it is impossible for a sociopath to be a good loving parent. Will you tell what you know?

    Here's what I think. A sociopath does see you suffer. A sociopath is also paranoid and may project that the world is the way he is. If he/she "owns" a child, he will want to protect her. He will train her to be like him and exploit. He will want her to be more powerful than you.

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  13. Bella, you sound like a bpd and as we all learned by now a perfect match for a socio.

    These vanishing acts of yours... To give him a feeling of being out of control... Yeah, as if he'd buy that a second time. The chances are you were playing this 'you are not in control' game since you were born with your parents. Were you the biggest cry baby in the house?

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  14. I did other things. I made it seem like I was lying. I know how to do that. He was loosing weight, as I was. But I was manic. Who knows? Maybe he was too? There are a lot of things about him that are still a mystery. But he was definitely a mal narc/antisocial.

    I wasn't a cry baby. I was stoic and had a mind of my own. I refused to be controlled. I was under a very controlling thumb. I had tantrums, sure. I cried after literally ripping the shirt off my back once. I was enraged more than sad and didn't return home after college, not for a day.

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  15. happy valentines day from frankfurt

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  16. Happy Valentines Day Frankfurt.

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  17. Thank you Bella. Did you see frankfurts picture? It is here, if you want.

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  18. Yes, I think that a sociopath may feel love differently, but they definitely feel ownership. His kids are HIS kids. He can do what he wants with and to them (including being a decent parent), but allowing anyone else to fuck with what belongs to him would not be acceptable.

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    1. I have been mulling over the ownership thing as one of my parents was a Malignant Narc. They DO want the "best" for you in terms of your education, health etc. However, they "own" you, as they own their own leg. Hence, if you do what is not in their best interest, they can crucify you, without a second though. I think this is the double edged sword to "owning"

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    2. One of the traits of psychopathy is the complete inability to feel love because every feeling is egocentric and enslaved by the ego. You are wrong. Why would a psychopath waste time and money on children he doesn't care about? A psychopath is only nice to people when he's looking for something from them.

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    3. By providing you with the best things they are increasing your inherent value, hence elevating the status of their investment.

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    4. Think of children as an investement in your future. Once they're old enough you have blood bound slaves to do your chores, cook your dinners, and clean your yard. If you're really a lazy fuck you can eventually make them get a job and pay their rent, thereby reducing your monthly bills.

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    5. There is also a difference between a psychopath and a sociopath.

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    6. Good points Haven.

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    7. "There is also a difference between a psychopath and a sociopath."

      There is no difference between a sociopath and a psychopath. Antisocial personality disorder is different though. ASPD'S can have loyalty and they aren't grossly narcissistic, they also tend to feel guilt.

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    8. "If he/she "owns" a child, he will want to protect her. He will train her to be like him and exploit. He will want her to be more powerful than you."

      Tell that to my Narc/Path dad. I'm poor and struggling, he is rich and doesnt give a fuck.

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    9. I'm not saying that's not a definite experience. Hell, it's probably the more common experience. This post was about the potential for a sociopath to be a functional parent. I can see the argument for it. That doesn't mean it's likely or valid for everyone.

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    10. Anon 822

      http://blogs.psychcentral.com/forensic-focus/2010/07/sociopathy-vs-psychopathy/

      Yes there is

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    11. Does he have a girlfriend or a person who requires his money in order for him to keep them? Do you give a fuck about him?

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    12. @Anon 833, who the fuck are you replying too ? There are 10 posts above yours. Loser

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    13. That version of a sociopath seems exactly like antisocial personality disorder.

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    14. Anon 8:24
      Were you the black sheep? Mal Narc's polarize children.

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    15. "A psychopath can be a good parent" Just about the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

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    16. black sheep only because my sister feed him lies about me.

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    17. With a sick parent, the Golden Child may not be as damaged as the Black sheep.

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    18. anon 8:35, I was replying to anon 8:24. I'll call myself Slow just for u.

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    19. I don't think my dad got the same Narc manual

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    20. Married 3 times now, 4 kids from 2 of the wives. One kid is BPD, other is a goth long haired weirdo, smart though. Two oldest fromthe first wife, are also fucked. One is a socio Narc, other is BPD and very delusional. Lies a lot, even to police. All wives are damaged.

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    21. Why do you keep breeding? Just stop.

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    22. He is to old to fuck anymore. And that is not HIM typing. That is me answering a question.

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  19. That's why you make your own money. If you want to start using someone for theirs you only solidify the ownership, the dependence. Once you aren't beholden to a one, they are free to crucify, but the beauty is that you can pick up and leave.

    I think some mal narcs are well aware of the risk they take that you'll abandon them. It scares them. That's why they often have a stable of dependents waiting in the wings and are ready to replace you if you act up. They can't be alone.

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    1. My father is like that. Has many kids, ping pongs between who deserves help or money. I've been on the shit list 10 years now. He can have it, I abandoned him. Don't need his crap or money.

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    2. Narcissists can go without relationships or sex for years, they enjoy themselves. Borderlines cannot.

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    3. Narcissists can not go without relationships because they need exterior validation to suppor their delusional thinking an sense of self.

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    4. Yes they can go for years without external validation, but they will be schizoid/reclusive and severely depressed. After suffering narcissistic injury they can withdraw from all contact.

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    5. I don't agree with you about borderlines, anon. We need stimulation and we need comfort. But that can be gotten from friends.

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    6. People are talking about me again **Covers ears** lalalalalalalala I am great you are shit lalalalalala....

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    7. I am pretty sure that is my ex's existence, anon 834. He is a major loner. I felt sorry for him.

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    8. "Yes they can go for years without external validation, but they will be schizoid/reclusive and severely depressed. After suffering narcissistic injury they can withdraw from all contact."

      This is precisely the picture of someone that can not deal well with being alone. It's very possible for me to be alone (I'm BPD) for very long periods of time, but I get progressively more depressed, etc.

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    9. That's what I mean. Nobody likes narcissists because of their brashness and utter lack of humility. It's impossible to have a relationship with one.

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    10. "People who are overly narcissistic commonly feel rejected, humiliated and threatened when criticised. To protect themselves from these dangers, they often react with disdain, rage, and/or defiance to any slight criticism, real or imagined. To avoid such situations, some narcissistic people withdraw socially and may feign modesty or humility. In cases where the narcissistic personality-disordered individual feels a lack of admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation, he/she may also manifest a desire to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply)."

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    11. Please describe what you mean by lack of humility.

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    12. Sam Vaknin, Ph.D is the leader in this field.

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    13. The doctors in the field think otherwise Haven.

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  20. the borderlines tend to be the neglected black sheep of the family. the narcissists or psychopaths are the overly indulged "golden child"

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    1. You must be a Narc, making your own special little post, away from the rest of the posts?

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    2. Oh look, I wonder what anon this is.

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  21. 845

    It is puffing up. It is false. I think many know they do it and try to stop.

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    1. Oh look, I wonder what Anon this is.

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  22. I like making my own post at the bottom. It's fresh and new. And I have limited brain power anyway, so I wouldn't be able to figure out how to post a reply here, because I'm a fucking idiot that was dropped on my head ad a child.

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    1. AS! dumber than I though eh ?

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    2. "was dropped on my head as a child"

      "was dropped on my head add a child"

      I hope you atleast work for McDonalds, if you couldn't figure out that typo.

      Dumb dumb dumb, you must be from the US.

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    3. HAHA
      That's very funny. I read the post as "as" . I didn't even see the typo. I was making a joke to say ADD, dipshit.

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    4. hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahah hahahahaahahahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahaha aahahahahahahahahahh!

      Not

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  23. I have a couple of thoughts about this post.

    The first regarding your ex's ability to love his children. Yes, I think sociopaths can exhibit something that looks like love. In reality, it is most likely a strong sense of loyalty and ownership. Since sociopaths are driven by outer forces (rather than internal cues), then it would greatly benefit him to have a close relationship with his children. However, never overestimate this. I would challenge that there would be certain conditions in which he could and would completely walk away - even from his own children. It would most likely be a situation where the benefit of walking away would be greater than having the relationship with his children.

    My personal experience in this is having a child with a sociopathic individual. This child was conceived in secrecy and while he has another child, he has yet to publicly acknowledge his other daughter. This man, also degreed in psychology and a well-respected man in his community is a wonderful, loyal, dedicated father to his other daughter. He is a leader in his community and everyone knows him to be a great husband, father, and family man.

    Meanwhile, there is this whole other child he completely ignores and has absolutely no desire to acknowledge, other than a weak facade with me by sending random gifts. If you were to ask him advice about fathers who abandon their children, he would whole-heartedly bash deadbeat uninvolved dads.

    This is the mask he wears. Does he really love and adore his other, older daughter? Only to the extent that he knows it is expected of him in order to be well respected within his social circles. He also enjoys the power he has in his community as a result of being so respected. To acknowledge my daughter, however, would mean he would have to admit to indiscretion, secrecy, and hypocracy. The benefit to my daughter having a father does not weigh on him at all (since he has no empathy), but rather the benefit of NOT having a relationship with her is more beneficial to him in order to maintain the facade. Does that make sense to you?

    It sounds like your ex would continue to be a good father since it is in his interest to do so. I wouldn't be surprised, however, if he abandoned them if (for example) he got a prominent job offer overseas, or married someone who was prestigious and didn't like children, etc.

    If there were no social or personal consequences to him letting the kids go, do not underestimate his ability to do so.

    The second point I'd like to bring up is the fact that it sounds like you are raising your daughter with the sensitivity that she deserves. I've said repeatedly here that children who are predisposed towards sociopathy require a different approach to discipline. Never use guilt tactics, and always try to utilize a natural consequences approach to behavioral issues. For example, if she deliberately breaks a toy, simply throw it away and explain that she will no longer have the toy to enjoy. She learns then that she has to take care of her toys if she wants to enjoy them for a while. To yell or make her feel guilty only teaches her to address your own emotional issues, which she will later resent & lose respect for you. When disciplining, remain as calm and impartial as possible. Validate her cleverness and charming personality as much as possible.

    In a nutshell, make her feel good about herself and fully understood. She will develop an alliance with you that she may have few of as she get older. But it sounds like you already know all of this, and are doing a great job.

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    1. This is a nicely thought out reply. I approve.

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    2. explain to me how you can teach empathy to a child without it? how can you explain to a child or adult lacking empathy that destroying/abusing/stealing etc, is "bad" or "wrong"

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    3. Nicely thought out and that is about it.

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    4. Anon @ 9:34

      First, ALL children are born with zero empathy. Infants and toddlers are just about the most self-absorbed, self-interested creatures on the planet. And for good reason. They are also the most dependent of all animals. Empathy is a learned, and natural behavior that the pleasure centers of the brain reward. Empathy is not fully developed in humans until age 7 - 9 years.

      Second, if you have a child who is predisposed toward being empathically challenged (I just made up that word, I think), then there may not be much you can do to "teach" them empathy.

      However, your choice of the words "bad" and "wrong" is interesting. These words are highly emotionally and morally charged. I never tell my daughter that something is bad or wrong. Instead, I show her that when she gets too rough with the kitty & hits the animal, that it hurts the animal & it then leaves her. She's only 3, and will cry for the kitty to come back. I only validate her sad feelings but remain calmly firm in not retrieving the cat.

      This interaction doesn't necessarily teach her empathy, though she will learn it if she is not sociopathic, but rather a cause and affect relationship.

      This is how you would address nearly every aspect of appropriate behavior to a possible sociopathic child. If they are not sociopathic, the empathy will eventually be learned and the internal compass will set in. If they are sociopathic, they learn through reinforced conditioning (absent emotional and moral tactics) that doing better is simply more advantageous to them personally.

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    5. Again you fail. Imagine the trouble a wife abuser would have if he didn't directly threaten the victim into submission. More idealistic drivel on your part. Do you think the abuser would have the privileges he holds, if he were fair and balanced? Of course not. So he batters the woman's esteem, breaks her will and creates a willing servant.

      If the controller didn't use fear and abuse to enslave, then his captors would begin to feel secure and confidant, in other words not fearful of him. The only way to establish COMPLETE control and dominance, is through oppression.

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    6. @ Anon 10:03

      You're a little off the subject of raising at-risk sociopathic children, but I'll indulge you for a bit.

      I would challenge your theory that a good sociopath would have ultimate control, not necessarily by the methods you state (oppression, dominance, etc.), but rather giving the victim the illusion of control, whereby, he systemically empowers her while simultaneously gaslighting and seducing.

      What more control could you have over someone when they have the illusion of safety? Fear, abuse, torture? Eh...overdone and not as effective. Be more insidious and covert if you want real control.

      But I suppose it boils down to whether you want an unwilling victim or a victim who surrenders willingly. Some sociopaths feed on the terror they inflict, while other sociopaths feed off of the slow decay of another's will to them.

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    7. BIZYLIZY = NIGGER JUNKIE

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    8. lol the crazies are out today.

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  24. Quit the "mal narc" crap thats retard Vaknin talk. There are people with npd and people with aspd. Vaknin's "mal narc" is just his name for psychopath. He's a fucking quack.

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    1. A quack that is better than you. Must suck huh ?

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    2. Let's be honest, Vaknin is wiser than you could ever aspire to be and he could grind you to dust at will.

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    3. @Bizy

      I would love to torture you to death you dumb junkie whore. You have no clue about psychopathy so please remain silent.

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    4. bizy, it sounds like you got your knowledge on psychopathy from a dexter novel, you idealistic junkie twit.

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    5. @Sarah, social psychologist 'Erich Fromm' first coined the term malignant narcissism in 1964.

      Do you like to make things up as you go ?

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    6. @ Anon @ 9:25 & 9:30

      The fact that you even respond to me with such unapologetic passion is flattering. Your soft underbelly is showing. :o)

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  25. Sarah
    HOW do you get that Mal Narc is a psychopath?

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    1. Both are the result of insecurity and both forms of narcissism inevitably hurt those around them. The main difference between the two is that the malignant narcissist must hurt you in order to alleviate his pain.

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    2. But a Mal Narc is NOT a psychopath, is he?

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    3. psychopathy is also termed "aggressive narcissism" what's yours is mine. sounds like malignant narcissism, does it not?

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    4. A mal narc is a mal narc. A psychopath is a psychopath. Is it really hard to understand ??

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  26. I've posted in the forum about what I believe is a malignant narcissist. I know several people on this site have experience with this kind of personality. Your comments are welcome.

    I'm gone again here, to hell with this dreadful layout! No wonder most of the regulars are gone.

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    1. It' a conspiracy to drive everyone in to the forums.

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    2. You belong in the forum nastycheeks he he

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    3. nastycheeks Blast from the past lmfao

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    4. hairycheeks, didn't your husband tell you not to come here?

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    5. She came here to score a new one. lmao

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    6. Don't be snotty, David. Come back :)

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    7. I don't blame him, the format takes up to much time, and you can't follow. You have to scroll up and down.

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    8. So what? stretch yourself

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  27. I love the fact that "Zhawq" comments on this blog daily, and no one even notices.

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  28. yes nastycheeks hairy cheeks smelly cheeks keep em coming

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    1. It's Valentines Day, there should be more love around here ;) I am giving out free hugs today

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    2. Not Valentines day here anymore. That nonsense ended hours ago...

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    3. Wait there a second while i grow a conscience.

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    4. Happy Valentine's Day Sweets! I'm all for increasing the love. I even gave some tips on my blog today haha.

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    5. Who needs tips on how to please a beeper on V Day?? They are so easy all you have to do is show up. Dumb bitch.

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    6. You're an idiot. And my post is mostly a joke.

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    7. Keep telling yourself that beeper whore. You'd get on your knees right now and suck my cock if I poured a little sugar on it.

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    8. LMFAO Anon 12:48

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    9. Please, sugar has way too many calories and I doubt your dick is big enough to hold a single gram.

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    10. Oh that's right, you have an eating disorder on top of your beeper disorder. What a catch you are. They say beepers rock in bed though. So you have that going for you.

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    11. Go listen to evenascence and quote marilyn monroe you borderline whores.

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  29. @sweetcheek

    i like grab my crotch as i drive by your house.

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  30. lol fucking love this place

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  31. i can't accept atheism because then i must accept the fact that i only a mere human.

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    1. If you accept that there is a god you have to accept the fact that there is a power greater than you, haha.

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    2. i haven't. i'm agnostic.

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    3. You do realize that whether you accept it or not it doesn't actually change anything right?

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    4. it's not part of my world. therefore it doesn't exist to me. it cares little for me and my feeling are mutual.

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  32. Nietzsche's evangel (master and slave morality)
    The cardinal instinct of man is not self-preservation, but the discharge of strength. The essence of life is will to power. Everything evil, terrible, tyrannical in man, everything that is kin to beasts of prey and serpents serves the enhancement of the species `man'.
    Good is the distinction, the determination of rank. Every enhancement of the type `man' has so far been the work of an aristocratic society. The noble soul lives as a leader who feels the compulsion to exploit his strength. Egoism is the nature of the noble soul. Exploitation belongs to the essence of what lives.
    The master creates his own morality, his own good and evil. He despises those who adopt a slave morality of pity and utility. He has only `contempt for the unfree, the common people, the humble, the doglike people who allow themselves to be maltreated

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  33. Beeper whore quotesFebruary 14, 2012 at 1:39 PM

    Dogs never bite me. Just humans.
    - Marilyn Monroe

    “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
    ― Marilyn Monroe

    “I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.”
    ― Marilyn Monroe

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    1. Nice work, Bwq. Happy V Day. Now go out there and smack a bitch.

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    2. Why the hostility toward borderlines? Someone despise sexual women because he doesnt ever get a yes? Because he has to rape to put his cock in a pussy? Because he is a little pussy boy? Hiding in mommy's basement saying "I will show them"?

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    3. It's easy to get pussy from a beeper. All you have to do is make them feel, "special".

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    4. Hey Genius
      That is how it works with all woman. I can tell you got no game

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    5. I don't mean just any kind of special. Beepers eat a special kind of "special". Do make sure it's the sugar-free kind of special though. Wouldn't want your beeper princess to feel subconscious about her bony ass.

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    6. If you’re dating, married, “special” friends, or stalking appreciative of the Borderline in your life you should know by now that it’s important to make her feel special pretty often. If you wait for only one day a year to provide her with the reassurance that she is meaningful to you, well, you probably experienced the melt down and received a lovely parting gift of emotional explosions. Frequent reassurance of love and caring are very important (To EVERYONE!) when you’re involved with a Borderline. Be careful not to be too reassuring though. You don’t want to cross the line into smothering and emotional suffocation.

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    7. Be continually appreciative.
      But for those of you that didn’t plan ahead and now are floundering about to make this one day a focal point of the year, here are some helpful tips for a smooth evening out with your Borderline.
      Tip #1: If your Borderline has an eating disorder, don’t get her chocolate. I know the corner drug store has those gigantic heart shaped boxes of chocolate all up in your face, but unless you want to encourage a binge filled evening laced with a hint of self-loathing, step away from the candy.

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    8. Tip #2: If your Borderline has a fear of commitment, don’t choose this day to propose. Getting engaged is stressful enough. Getting engaged on a day where the expectations of romance are a bajillion times higher, could make her heart crack into a thousand of those mini little chalk flavor heart candies with inspirational sayings like “WTF dude?” or “Are you serious?”.

      Delete
    9. Tip #3: Just because your Borderline says that she hates Valentine’s Day, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything. Remember when I said that you should treat her special every day? February 14th is still one of those days. I know it's a complete contradiction to say you hate Valentine's Day, and then want to do something on Valentine's Day, but it's also a message of, the holiday is stupid, then again, it's a day like any other that I want to see you, so I want to see you! Warning: This may get you laid instantly.

      Delete
    10. You know what? On second thought, you beepers sound like a lot of fucking maintenance. I take back my original statement of only needing to show up, and say to any who want to get with a beeper, to "RUN LIKE HELL!".

      Delete
  34. HavenFeb 14, 2012 09:00 AM
    Why do you keep breeding? Just stop.

    ReplyDelete
  35. BizyLizy, a woman having a child from a married man is the most selfish thing you could have done. You are worse than him in terms of negative impact on your child's life. She'll have you pay for it later, no matter how good a parenting you think you are doing. If anyone, you are the one driving her sociopathic. No sympathy for the likes of you. You eventually turn sadistic like some of the SW regulars, if not already. How often do you give your daughter the sense of your wish she didn't exist?

    ReplyDelete
  36. Haven is a sex godess - Happy Valentines day baby ;) xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you Eden ??

      Delete
    2. Turk is Eden. You people are dumb shits he he

      Delete
    3. No anon. You are the dumb shit. Seriously. Turk is not Eden. Seriously. Give it up. You sound like a nut case.

      Delete
    4. You can't stand to be wrong, can you? You are wrong though. Turk is not Eden.

      Delete
    5. LOL I am too busy and important to bother with this shit he he

      Delete
    6. So why are you then? Why do you keep chasing someone who isn't here? :)

      Delete
    7. ::smiles:: Happy Valentine's Day to you Turk ;) xoxo

      Delete
  37. Just dumped a beeper gf, not a sexual gf just gf. What a relief. She has been getting dumped by all her gf's and trying to give the impression that all these friends were socios or narcs.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Turk, are you fascinated by Turks? Are you a Turk? What's the deal?

    Yes, Haven is cool and deserves a Happy Valentine's shout out. Just don't stab her with your anon statements you often do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Anon. I hope you have a great day as well. Don't worry, I can handle the anons. They don't bother me.

      Delete
  39. Turk(ish) Trolololol!

    ReplyDelete
  40. In death bed people talk about their love (or lack thereof) in the family no matter how old they are...

    "Sometimes that love is not only imperfect, it seems to be missing entirely.  Monstrous things can happen in families.  Too often, more often than I want to believe possible, patients tell me what it feels like when the person you love beats you or rapes you.  They tell me what it feels like to know that you are utterly unwanted by your parents.  They tell me what it feels like to be the target of someone's rage.   They tell me what it feels like to know that you abandoned your children, or that your drinking destroyed your family, or that you failed to care for those who needed you."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And what do they say it feels like?

      I was physically abused by my father growing up, but I felt only rage, indignation, and just cause to withdraw my love and fight back.

      He's a burnt out psychopath, with no understanding of his true nature, or how much damage he caused in the lives of others. (Ironically, I consider myself to be one of the least afflicted. I inherited the lion's share of his nature, which protected me from him.)

      Delete
    2. Don't get me wrong, it *hurt*, but I never carried it with me. Out of sight, out of mind.

      Delete
    3. HOW did you not carry it with you?

      Delete
    4. By choosing to fight back instead of allowing myself to get whipped like a beaten dog.

      By shutting down emotionally, and choosing not to care or think too much about my plight.

      By developing conduct disorder (officially ODD) in my adolescence, and thereby exteriorizing all my anger.

      By forgiving the man completely. I carry no grudges, nor do I live with any regrets.

      By accepting God's love, and trying to see everything through His eyes. On good days, that is ;)

      Delete
    5. Alterego
      I became weak from abuse. I just wanted to be loved. I became a servile dog. I wanted love, an ounce, anything. I sold my heart, my soul, everything, for a drop of love.

      Delete
    6. I don't know what you thought you were purchasing, as true love cannot be sold or bought, just freely given. It is unwise to cast your pearls before swine, Erin.

      Delete
    7. I am not Erin, Alterego.

      Delete
    8. Yes you are, Erin.

      Delete
  41. I'm crazy about my hot beeper. Its been a fabulous Valentines Days far.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pics or it didnt happen.

      Delete
  42. Turk is gross Eden

    ReplyDelete
  43. I think its cute when sweetcheek's is biting the pillow.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Gross Eden? Like Raven? Why is she in need of introducing new characters? to think that she is a mother...

    ReplyDelete
  45. She is Anon 1 trying to be a total turd with Monica. Why does a turd act like a turd? Why is the Pope Catholic?

    ReplyDelete
  46. Would it really matter if I was Edan? We're all just Ukan anyway, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Turk, stop trying to be me. I am me. Only I can be me. You cannot be me. Stop trying to be me. I HATE WHEN YOU ARE ME SO STOP IT!!!!!

      Delete
    2. LOL I am done with this shit.

      Delete
  47. Me too! Leave me alone you heartless bullies!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love u Turkish. Whoever u R. :)

      Delete

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