Friday, October 3, 2008

Interview with an Empath (part V)

Empath: By the way, I believe my friend still has a listserv on yahoo or somewhere. Would you like to talk a little with your peers? I could refer him to your blog and ask if he thinks the listerv is up your alley. Although they don't tend to talk that much about being sociopaths, specifically. He let me on the list at one time in the past, but I couldn't handle it when one of the more serial-killer-esque individuals on the list actually posted child porn and it came directly in my in-box. So I unsubscribed. The rest of them aren't like that, but a number of them are into conspiracy theories for some reason.

M.E.
: Definitely interested. I'm so lonely, really. Mainly I have to hang out with people on the autism spectrum who are also unempathetic, or the uber-empaths who are so empathetic they even empathize with the sociopaths. You might be one of those, btw. Particularly if your friend stole your girlfriend and you still sort of felt bad for him.

Empath
: That sounds right.

M.E.
: Uber-empaths and sociopaths actually make okay friends because the empath is constantly emoting all the time, like kryptonite killing off lesser things, but the sociopathis are unfazed, immune. And sociopaths rarely get to show off to people who really appreciate them. Uber-empaths can understand and appreciate. That said, I'd like to meet other sociopaths.

Empath
: Sure, but if you do get on the listserv, my friend sometimes refers to me on the list. Many things he has said about me are blantantly false or some shade of embellishment. I don't really care, because he doesn't use my real name, but if you read anything about me in the archives or whatever, assume it is not true. My friend periodically accuses me of being Lecter to his Starling. Which is almost flattering.

M.E.
: So you were on the listserv for a while? Did you ever think that you were a sociopath?

Empath
: No, I am definitely not one of your ilk, though at times I wish I were, because I recognize how base, disgusting, hypocritical, and virtually intolerable the world is but am stuck on that radio dial picking up the waves of empathy, unable to control. Compassion can be a handicap, I recognize. One of my favorite movies is American Psycho, because I appreciate the beauty and truth of the film's ending. Most people do deserve to die in horrible ways. I just know that I want to save them rather than than use or slaughter them. I am a crusader and semi-socialist, you know?

M.E.
: Yeah, I know.

9 comments:

  1. Wow, disapproval from a bourgeois professional? "Listen to the fool's rebuke! It is a kingly title!" Blake, PROVERBS OF HELL
    -Vigilius

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  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  3. Sociopaths are the most profound training programs for those with great empathic ability and sharp, clear minds.

    Having been in a close intimate relationship with an S for over two years, I am now able to see what he sees, perceive the world and other people the way he perceives them, and yet I have lost nothing of my ability to feel everything. Not only can I see and comprehend who and what he is as well as the world as he knows it, but I am able to truly experience it and understand his locus of awareness.

    However, although I have been able through my reserves of empathy found a way to enter and transfuse with his world, he will never be able to enter mine. He helped me very much to harness my extra-sensory perception and supernatural radar; he helped me become a stronger and more objective, detached channel - capable of filtering out so much emotional static so that I am now a kind of hybrid - truly the best of both worlds!

    Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now advances a theory that "ego" can be transcended; interestingly enough, my S helped me along that path - the S (unlike the dreaded N) is really without an ego. Unfortunately, he is also without the apparatus that makes transcending the ego an activity of becoming a Master - the ability to feel.

    As an empath who experiences a greater sensory bandwidth than the average human, my S actually helped me break ground into a great liberation from the “sheeple-hood” of the matrix-like programming of self and personality, while retaining an ability to converge and mingle with emotional nuances that will forever elude him.

    His mind can only infer the Platonic Forms beyond the dim shadows cast upon the dull cave wall; I, however, am now able to not only recognize them as he does, but I can transfuse completely with them.

    The true empath has the ability to take all unto themselves and yet, are strong enough retain a center, a core of being capable of great tensions - we are Towers that cannot crumble or fall because we do not oppose anything, we accept everything into ourselves and make it a part of us - our inherent unity of being can incorporate infinite multiplicity - and having now been schooled in the detachment and objectivity of the S. - I am feeling a freedom unknown to ordinary mortals.

    Unfortunately, I could not help him although I tried tirelessly - I could not take him with me on this journey to full actualization of human potential. It is no less tragic to me that he cannot see how ironic the one-sided nature of our relationship really was - the irony being that he served me, yet all along believing I was serving him - yet in truth, there was nothing ever that I could give him - despite how much I desired a reciprocity of true shared identity and being and despite how much he tried to exploit that desire to serve himself.

    There was nothing on his end to transfuse with, no foundation to the iceberg of his soul. As much as he tried, he was incapable of taking anything from me, and only left me great blessings…

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  4. I completely agree with the previous post about sociopaths being a profound training program for empaths. I am in an close friendship with an S. He has taught me how he sees the world - very objectively and purely. He is highly descriptive and has a beautiful agility with language and an incredible eye for detail. I have been able to improve my outer senses (sight, sounds, smell) and am able to use that way of seeing the world to makes sense of my more symbolic knowledge base. I have also learned how to manage my emotions and be less reactive.

    While I have been enjoying a great deal of dynamic growth and shift in my identity towards embracing a more empathic self, my S has not. Although there has been some change in him. Here's the thing: My S has honed an incredibly ability to receive the world. The difference between us is that he receives it very descriptively - using only his 5 senses and not attaching any emotion to it. In my presence, he receives me as well and he enjoys our talks because he likes receiving my "energy," -- and this is his language, not mine.

    I found myself wondering if sociopaths might actually be highly empathic mind-bodies whose psycho-cognitive response to the world is their way of dealing with the intensity of sensations they receive from the world. I say this because my S has an incredible way of seeing the world in all its detail and in all its abstraction. He takes everything in and is highly receptive but what he is receiving is pure Beta--pure descriptive analysis of what he sees, hears, smells, and touches. I found myself wondering if this was his particular coping mechanism. Senses assaulted by the world, perhaps his mind shut off the emotional centers at an early age.

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  5. Guys, Empaths (or what it is you call yourselves),

    This is from just another reader:

    I find your stories about what you've learned from those you call S - the less reactively emotional and highly perceptive, intelligent people - what you think about it, and how you describe it, very interesting.

    I would urge you all to share your experiences with us! I'm sure it can be helpful to a lot of people, so please, do continue your contributions, yes?

    Thank you in advance,

    Zhawq.

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  6. No Psychologist for me...March 3, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    I am a sociopath,

    Right away i would like to thank contributors to this post. Your thought provoking comments has dawned a new period of self evaluation, within moments of this I constructed a new theory. While I have discarded being a "uber-empath" that actually is mimicking sociopathic cognitive structure, I have discovered the possibility of me being one before my step into the dark side of human experience (which is fun and powerful btw). With dome deep introspection I have come to the conclusion that I can (hopefully, and not without immense effort) reactivate the emotional sector of my brain as my change was very recent (I'm 17 it happened at maybe 14-15) and I can remember having emotions, I simply don't use them anymore. Hopefully, with this new knowledge, I can become a hybrid, capable of switching on and off my emotions. It would definitely be a dream to have that power, to be both human and "not" human.

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    1. I ain't a sociopath but learned to turn off my emotions (naturally being extremely logic oriented), I am calm when people are panicking, don't feel bad when see death, etc. I turn on when I see the situation will give me strength, like on the first punch, or when I need to cry to influence another person the way I want it.

      Main difference is that I am not always self-centered (most situations both plays are the same tough), don't think I need trills on life or to be happy or that I need to do anything or behave in any way. Don't think Hitler or Jesus were right or wrong, don't believe in moral codes, I remain with some principles so I fell repulse from start doing things that would get me caught, but not so much when others do it.

      One exercise I did was go from crying a lot to felling great and laughing maniacally then back and forth for some minutes then back to off, the spectrum of emotions that make me fell good I let on most of time, sometimes I turn the sadness on, now and then it's refreshing, only do that when it don't negatively have an effect on me.

      There are some people that I don't cut emotional ties as they are comforting, if someone would to touch them I would find how to torture to the best of human knowledge, then wouldn't bother dying afterwards (as a kid my dream was to die saving someone).

      Right now I set as a goal to make a lot of money, more as a challenge, there are lot of easy ways I can get it quickly but I don't find it fun, more likely I put handicaps to achieve it. There isn't nothing I want that I can't buy now.

      Want to find some person that is rational and selfless and have a child and spend my life to make that kid a powerhouse.

      I do manipulate a lot person around me, pay attention to every detail and the outcomes and feel as I am the center and they are waves emanating from my actions. I manipulate them for their own good unless I lose my mind, which almost never happens, and even when It happens I stay rational.

      I can take a lot of damage without getting excited and do a lot of damage without felling any remorse.

      Will readily spend my life for another person sake if I decide. Have been doing that for years, don't think it is the right thing to do as is logically incorrect to believe that some arbitrary goal is better than another.

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    2. I'm a criminal lawyer now, but is bothersome to keep waiting the guys steal to pay me...

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  7. Anonymous Oct 9, 2009 01:55 PM -- you sound to me like a narcissist, not an empath

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