Sociopath advise on how to deal with sociopaths, part II
Reading these comments from sociopaths, you may be asking yourself, why does anyone put up with sociopaths in the first place? Can sociopaths love? Can they be in a relationship?
"In the beginning, what people are attracted to in psychopaths is they seem to know what you want, what you need, what makes you laugh, and feel good. They are mirroring what is inside you back at you, and throwing in what they've learned. In return, they absorb part of who you are psychologically. They become what you want as much as they can. The relationship feels good because it seems you've found your soul mate."
"I can't comment on what will be enough to have a specific person leave you alone. I can comment on what his motivation might be in continuing to contact you, assuming he is a psychopath. He might be after something you provide, such as money, sex, comfort/normalcy, a fear or fight fix. You might be considered part of who he is. He has absorbed part of your personality by mirroring and he wants to continue or have that back."
"Co-dependant people are attracted to us because we provide a complete immersion of attention and focus. But co-dependant people are not inherently strong enough of personality. The experiment fails and we begin to despise. If she begins to show weakness, such as eventually seeking our guidance or not maintaining discipline and surety of purpose, we begin to despise. We seek to give in a relationship, but we cannot give love, compassion, or empathy. We seek to give what we have."
"From my point of view a boundary is: "Either don't do this or I will do this unpleasant thing to you" and, "If you do this, I will do this nice thing for you." A psychopath will push you to find out how concrete those boundaries are. Willpower and discipline must be maintained in order to keep the psychopath in line until a natural order is established and a direction given (if the psychopath wants a relationship)."
"As an N, I also memorize other people's emotions. It's the easiest way to seem human because I have no idea how to feel them myself!! I'd be very easy to spot if I didn't know how to pretend to have emotions like everyone else."
"Normal people may sense or feel the presence of 'evil'. It permeates from the P. We react with nauseau, fear, and we often say "Oh, he doesn't mean that". It is often intangible and something we can't really define."
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Reading these comments from sociopaths, you may be asking yourself, why does anyone put up with sociopaths in the first place? Can sociopaths love? Can they be in a relationship?
Does no one comment? I see the psycopath as a mutant being , an accident or freak of nature then a combination of nuture but not allways just mostly in the poorer classes. God can heal you people but you have to become self aware enough to choose the right or the good rather than self! May His hand touch you all and heal your pain and fill your hearts with His Grace!
ReplyDeleteThere is no god. The world is the Will To Power, and nothing besides.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's NOT the "sociopath" who is codependent. Exactly on the contrary. It is only the "sociopath" who has become free.
This is why he is universally "feared." What do the people FEAR more than anything else? The possibility of human freedom. This is what the free and unique individual represents.
-Vigilius
The sociopath still needs the sheep to fool the sheep; needs the sheep to learn to act like the sheep. Why do sociopaths seek to act like sheep, if they are so "free"? And, the freedom of sociopaths means the oppression of sheep, unless sociopaths choose to govern themselves. Perhaps we should be asking ourselves what a world full of sociopaths would look like.
ReplyDeleteYou obviously have no idea wtf you're talking about. The sociopath doesn't need the sheep at all. In fact, the only reason s/he might EVER try to "act like the sheep" is so that the sheep wouldn't force him to drink the hemlock.
ReplyDeleteThe "sociopath" represents the possibility of human freedom, which the sheep fear the most.
The freedom of sociopaths has nothing to do with the sheep. This is perhaps the biggest thing dumbass sheep don't get.
The "sociopaths" aren't out there trying to "control" the sheep. The sheep are the ones with the mania for "control." They are the neurotics, and the ones who are driven by perverse secondary drives.
A world full of "sociopaths" would be a world where everyone loves freedom. We would have no need to crucify others, merely because we fear the freedom they represent.
It is the "sheep" who are afflicted with "The Emotional Plague," which Reich discusses in the end part of CHARACTER ANALYSIS.
And he talks about what we call "sociopaths" in THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION: TOWARD A SELF REGULATING CHARACTER STRUCTURE.
Quit feeling sorry for yourself, sheep.
-Vigilius
Here's a quote for you, sheep:
ReplyDelete"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted in a sick society."
-Krishnamurti
It is the condition of being "controlled" that makes sheep the sheep. They need to break on through to the other side. But we both know they never will, because they are terrified at the possibility of human freedom.
It is NOT the sociopath that keeps the sheep "fooled," or "irrational," or "mindcontrolled." It is the lack of personal integrity on the part of the individual sheep themselves.
Instead of becoming free or facing reality, they sit around projecting their Jungian shadows onto the free people, who they call "sociopaths."
Allegory of the Cave, anyone?
-Vigilius
honestly, its a comfort to be able to see someone else be able to communicate such an untouchable partition of who i am.
ReplyDeletethank you for posting these.
what are your sources? I'd like to read more.
Ok Geraldine, I can give you the "Mind Control" Curriculum we developed at the Institute if you want.
ReplyDeleteBut in general, I think you should read CHARACTER ANALYSIS, THE FUNCTION OF THE ORGASM and THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION: TOWARD A SELF REGULATING CHARACTER STRUCTURE by Wilhelm Reich. Good shit. Oh yeah, also Reich's THE MASS PSYCHOLOGY OF FASCISM.
Read THE GRAND INQUISITOR by Fyodor Dosteovsky.
THUS SPAKE ZARATHUSTRA by Nietzsche, THE DEATH OF EMPEDOCLES by Friedrich Holderlin, which is an unfinished tragedy in five fragments, translated in Micheal Hamburger's version.
As far as the Mind Control Material, that's a pretty good start right there. Also throw in THE EGO AND IT'S MECHANISMS OF DEFENSE by Anna Freud, with special attention to "Identification with the Aggressor," ESSENTIAL PAPERS ON OBJECT RELATIONS, ESSENTIAL PAPERS ON NARCISSISM, ESSENTIAL PAPERS ON CHARACTER NEUROSIS AND TREATMENT, from the "Essential Papers in Psychoanalysis" series.
LOL. Don't get me started.
-Vigilius
Oh yeah, get some Jung, too. Get MEETING THE SHADOW. Good shit.
ReplyDelete"Enlightenment doesn't result from sitting around visualizing images of light, but from integrating the darker aspects of the self into the conscious personality."
-C.G. Jung
Synchronicity as the result of unconscious forces is the biggest thing in mindcontrol.
-Vigilius
THE EGO AND IT'S OWN by Max Stirner.
ReplyDeleteI feel terrible for you. Going through life not truly knowing how to have emotions, what it feels like to love, or be loved. But you are still a person, even though you are flawed. God is your ONLY hope. No medicine or therapy can ever heal you completely. Please seek HIM. It cannot hurt.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how self-deluded some of you sociopaths are. (Yes, I am an empath and damned proud of it.) I actually really feel sorry for you guys, at least in a certain way.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, the argument about "sheep" vs. sociopaths is incredibly base and unproductive. It could just as easily be argued that since the higher up the ladder you go in terms of "success", the more likely you are to find sociopaths, then obviously THEY are the ones who are "well adjusted in a sick society", not us "codependent underachievers". You guys may be a fairly small minority, but with your ruthless power and 'ambition', you are the ones who mould people into sheep in the first place. Essentially, you don't like the product of your own doing, therefore you are failures by your own definition.
Altruism is more observed among the higher primates and humans than among the less-evolved/complicated life forms on this planet. What does THAT tell you? What about the mammalian instinct to provide a lot of nurturance to their young that other segments of the animal kingdom just don't seem to have in as much abundance? Although perhaps it's true that sociopaths are born, it cannot be denied that environmental factors contribute significantly to the production of sociopaths (absent mothers, etc.), and the absence of those factors is the absence of the better aspects of behaviour of the most evolved/intelligent species on this planet, as we know it, saving perhaps dolphins and certain species of whales that, unfortunately, did not develop opposable thumbs.
The GOOD news is that you guys CAN change. I'm not a Bible-thumping Christian, so I won't introduce "God" into this, but I truly KNOW that it is possible to amplify one's emotions and do emotional work, resulting in a better, more emotive, more empathic, more truly powerful individual.
Thank you
hmmmm....I have no idea what you people are talking about half the time, but I do know this. There absolutely IS a GOD and I know this personally. When I asked Him at the age of 22 to show me if He is really there......boy did He ever! And I have not been the same since. Perfect? No. But definitely not the same. I have been overcome physically by His presence to the point that I could not stand upright. It is better than any drug or experience or anything in this world. When you say there is no God, it gives me chills. Chills of fear. For you. You may want to re-think that.
ReplyDeleteYou handle a parasite like any other. Leeches get the hammer.
ReplyDeleteMy "god" I just love a damned theist. I think it's time for you to lay out some empirical evidence to substantiate your god. Otherwise take your pathetic faulty logic and conjecture back to sunday school.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Milo, I can't believe how self deluded some sociopaths are. I also cannot believe how self deluded some empathical people are. Stupidity is an equal opportunity employer.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I don't create sheep. I allow logic and facts to break them off. Am I a sociopath? Yes, to the core. It may come as a surprise to you that I am a veteran combat medic as well. Many sociopaths find a balance in society because they understand they preform better in certain posistions and careers and follow through. I support people who find their niche and create a better society. This is purely selfish of me indeed. It's also a mutual perpetuation of a tipping point. If you aren't familiar with the term then look into epidemiology. Malcom Gladwell has some excellent material on the subject.
Now...since that is out of the way I noticed you just had to assert yourself as a superior emotional human and you'll now receive equal rebuttal. I truly enjoy how you compare yourself with an ape. Sure, apes nurture their young, but apes differ in humans in that they have lesser prefrontal development. The same prefrontal development in the brains of sociopaths that you feely-touchy humans don't carry equally. Can you possibly not beat your chest anymore?
This is the part where you can take a deep breath and end your emotional torrent. The conclusion is that we are two different types of people. You excel at one area while we excel in another. Find your niche.
Back when I was in college, I got played by a sociopath. He seduced me, cheated on me with my friends, then dumped me, but managed to keep me around by alternating between being a complete jerk (the way one would expect a sociopathic ex-boyfriend to act) and then being very tender and loving. Somehow he ended up having complete power over me-- I work for him for free, I cannot break off ties with him, and it has even gotten to the point where he has me doing dangerous stunts to entertain him and his friends (including new girlfriends). Every time I think I am getting better at ignoring him, he acts really nice and confuses me. I feel like a trained puppy, that keeps coming back to its master after being kicked--any advice on how to grow a backbone and stop being his slave?
ReplyDeleteAnon:
ReplyDeleteYou have two options. The first is to set rules of conduct for yourself which you aren't allowed to violate for any reason. i.e. if a puppy was about to die and you could save it by violating the rule, you watch the puppy die and applaud your self control. I don't see this happening.
The second is to cut him out of your life entirely. Move if you have to. Your freedom is at stake, and you're obviously too weak to handle him. Whatever you choose to do, do not deviate. Do not speak to him for any reason. If a puppy was about to die, and you could save it just by saying "hi" to him, you watch the puppy die and applaud yourself for your self control.
And I'm serious about that puppy thing. If he can't play on your emotions in one way, he may very well put a knife to a puppy's throat and tell you to say 'hi' to him. Your only option is to separate yourself from any emotions he may try to evoke in you, especially guilt.
Sociopaths and religion are largely incompatible. You can't use irrationality to convince a rational man of your ideals. Of course, a sociopath is more than apt to start a religion or cult. Jesus Christ may well have been a sociopath, if he even existed.
ReplyDeleteThese comments really show what people will do for their flimsy emotions.
ReplyDelete"Jesus Christ may well have been a sociopath, if he even existed."
ReplyDeleteLOL! I love it! That would explain quite a bit!
(riq)
ReplyDeleteOh Daniel, don't tell me you've never considered that before. I've often imagined myself in his shoes, trying to achieve a sort of pseudo-immortality by becoming Judaism's messiah, creating a viral system of beliefs, and keeping myself at the center of it all.
It's too bad we'll never know, eh?
Riq:
ReplyDeleteLOL. Tis true. When contemplating what to do with my life, starting a religion with me playing messiah was one of the options. It would be all too easy. I figured that keeping up the pretense would in the end become tedious, so I dropped that idea.
But Jebus, on the other hand… Well if he planned an elaborate suicide by state, he’d only have had to keep the act going for a few years. Who knows? Maybe Jebus was nothing less than a great, if bizarrely masochistic, con artist. It is too bad that we’ll never know.
Wow, this may be the most senseless discussion I have ever stumbled across on the web. You are all so very ill-informed. All of you should hold up a mirror to yourselves if you want to understand the motives of a sociopath.
ReplyDeleteThere are some great points on here about human freedom vs conditioned sheep. But one aspect that seems to be missing is the idea that this universe operates on every level as a dynamic balance of opposites and containing a paradox. This was expressed as the yin-yang graph by the Chinese. In other words, maybe the sheep and the wolf NEED each other to grow beyond their inherent limitations. Like each half of the yin-yang contains the paradoxical potential of it's opposite which allows for Dynamic, not static balance. Religion always overlooks this too with their narrow minded,one way only approach. This is seeking a state of Static Balance and is therefore out of synch with universal law. BTW,the word 'Religion' comes from Re meaning "to do again" as in Repeat and ligion from the Latin Ligare meaning "to Bind" as in Ligature. So religion is BONDAGE by it's very definition.
ReplyDeleteTo the one who keeps getting played: WTF? Take back your power from this creep. I used to see this with domestic violence 'victims' I worked with. It's one thing to be physically trapped in a situation and quite another to repeatedly give your power over to another. "Fool me once..." right? Free the 'Wolf' within the socially conditioned sheep and get the hell out of the situation. Make "Du Hast" your theme song };) Cultivate your hatred for them, trust me, in this case it's appropriate & healthy. Anger is a Gift - Use it! All emotions are just energy, neither 'good' nor 'bad' they simply are. Like any tool, it's all in how you use it. You can use a hammer to kill or to build a house. To quote Rumi - "Out beyond notions of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there." You decide what outcome You want, Your Will is your own and you are a sovereign being if You Choose to be. Here's to your freedom! Cheers!
ReplyDeleteI lived with a female S for two years. I resisted control and finally booted her out. She left with a number of my belongings and jumped into bed with a wealthy old man.
ReplyDeleteThrough a campaign of manipulation, she promotes herself as an innocent wounded monogamist and me as a child-molesting, stalking, perverted monster. She dealt with my complaints immediately and ruthlessly, summoning the police to my house, issuing threats, lying, tampering with my motorbike and smashing my belongings.
In contrast to reports I've read about male S's she's made no genuine effort to "woo" me back. Is a female S less likely to do this or has she realised it's a dead-end? She's good looking, charming and has an endless supply of men wanting to jump into bed with her.
I've cut all contact but sometimes receive messages accusing me of opening her forwarded mail. She also recently issued a vile and savage verbal attack on my new girlfriend. Following text-book advice, I never respond to any goading. This has worked very well generally.
Cheers
Dude
Reading these sociopaths' opinions is hilariously entertaining.
ReplyDeleteLet me get my bowl of popcorn while I watch them try to justify their failure via internet comments.
Co-dependant people are attracted to us because we provide a complete immersion of attention and focus. But co-dependant people are not inherently strong enough of personality. The experiment fails and we begin to despise. If she begins to show weakness, such as eventually seeking our guidance or not maintaining discipline and surety of purpose, we begin to despise.
ReplyDeleteHow very true. But if you happen to have a brilliant sadistic streak accompanying your sociopathic predisposition, then co-dependent people make the best victims as they try so incredibly hard to keep you. Once you get a great cycle of degradation and appeasement going you can reduce co-dependent people to depths much lower than your average empath and they'll thank you for doing so until you cast them aside.
The sociopath in my life cannot be excised because she controls every family member. Within a few years, I will be breaking ties with all of them, for other reasons.
ReplyDeleteUntil then, I have to wonder if my strategy for dealing with her might be dangerous. Reading these comments gives me pause. Is a sociopath really someone you want to be consistently challenging?
It would be really great if she were just a Narcissist.
This entire story is quite intriguing. I've found that yes, a sociopath is fully capable of love. Well, passion anyway. I find myself constantly infatuated with psychology, the actions and reactions to situations, philosophy in general - all wisdom, for that matter. What do I love as a sociopath? Independence upon this constant journey to acquire the mysteries that the weak choose not to see. As far as loving another? A simple and elegant 'no' is in order. We are quite able to provide the illusion of it, and thus are able to maintain successful relationships given we keep our self preservation in line and only take as much as they're willing to give. Out of the people I've found, that seems to be a lot. Evil? Of course not... self righteous.
ReplyDeleteWow, This explains so much to me about the guy I have been dating for over a year. Thank you for sharing all of this and for everyone's input on here that knows all of the answers and posting it.
ReplyDeleteI cannot explain how much I appreciate this site and how much it has helped me. Maybe it will help my relationship a bit as well since I know what to expect now.
He has always said I was like a delicate and breakable object that he had to be careful with and yet at times he wanted to devour me and my soul. I thought he was kidding, now I know to take it seriously.
Where everyone seems to see two conflicting sides; the majority of normal people and the evil, parasitic sociopaths, I try to see two approaches to human survival. I am a teenager and a sociopath (technically it's called Conduct Disorder until I turn 18). I expect most of you do denounce what I say from now on, but for the open-minded few... I have spent a lot of time studying the evolution of human biology and culture. It seems to me that most members of the gene pool survive by supporting one another in a seemingly altruistic, yet ultimately self serving way. Sociopaths on the other hand seem to serve themselves more directly, and be more solitary, which is why they can only occupy a tiny fraction of the gene pool. I love to see this kind of diversity in any species. Diversity, not monotony, is normal. So to all who think that sociopaths should reform and be like everyone else, or who think it would be better if everyone was a sociopath, consider this issue of diversity. Try to accept sociopaths, even if you see us as monsters, for without us, and all the other mutants, humanity's progress is impossible.
ReplyDeleteI love my sociopaths! I go in strong with the dazzling co-dependency and when they start treating me like shit I storm away like a broken-hearted bird and ignore them for months. Then I show up in their line of sight and magically introduce myself back into their life with "new rules of conduct"...
ReplyDelete...until I get them back into bed. Then I demand more than they're willing to give and storm out again. Really - socios are only good for one thing, so it doesn't really matter.
If they get too close and try to hurt me...I mentally fuck them up. Once, I got one to shit blood (from stress). Got another to move out of state.
Did I mention I'm a co-dep with socio tendencies? And yea, I love myself...more than I could ever begin to express. I also put myself last fairly often.
It's a hot life.
BTW, Jesus was a pawn. He was used as a symbol by a small group of socios that didn't want to take the heat for their work.
so i read the comments and it really does aggravate me to see all these bible toting ignorant fools who think that a character in the largest fiction is going to save me and the fact that they call us "flawed" couldn't be farther from the truth sociopaths are the people that are needed in order for there to be balance in the world and as the number of sociopaths is growing soon we will be the dominant people in the world and then people will understand what a world full of sociopaths is truly like, wonderful with less restrictions on life and more self fulfillment and gratification for everyone
ReplyDeleteI wonder if sociopaths can have long term relationships with other sociopaths? It seems unlikely, because I generally stay far, far away from anyone whose qualaties remind me of myself. Just general self intrest in my own well being. I tend toward taking the path of least resistance especially because at this stage in my life I strugle how exactly to fit in with the least effort possible, and my whole image could be ruined by such a relationship.
ReplyDeleteI want help from a sociopath please. What would make a sociopath father say please leave and take your kids and here's some money and don't ever call me again?
ReplyDeleteim in serious need of help i dated a sociopath for 8 years from 7th grade until 20 years old now its over nd he is in jail for brreaking into my house nd kidnapping me we have a long history of abuse and he is coming out of jail soon i would just like to speak to someone with his perspective so i can sleep at night. Thanks
ReplyDeleteThank 'god' I'm not a Sociopath! I love experiencing the pulls of emotion in tragedy or ecstasy. I love being empathetic and engaging in interactions that increase kindness in myself and others. I was with a Sociopath for a few years and it was all about his ego. It's a sickness and the word 'sick' implies an imbalance.
ReplyDeleteGone, POOF... just like that, without explanation or regard. All my attempts to make contact, completely ignored. I just want to know why, get some closure.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what gave me the thought, but i'm so glad i looked up the term sociopath.
I thought i was dealing with the cowardly lion, in need of some courage... turns out, he's the tin man, devoid of a heart.
For the past six months I have been dating a guy who I now know fits this profile. Today he once again tried to have control of me and became angry when I told him I had errands to do. He commented that he did not like me leaving. I had already spent 4 hours with him today and most of the time he kept me in the bed for sex. Now I am debating whether or not to contact him any time again today. He has a habit of always wanting to know where I am when not with him and right now he does not know this info. I will probably receive a call from him. How should I react?
ReplyDeleteI think that your hold on to sociopaths is
ReplyDeletebecause you allow them to have a hold on you. It is perhaps because you are lacking or have poor self esteem. Your dependence and neediness gives them power. One way to deal with them is while being civil, detach yourselves from them not needing their power over you. In order to do that, you have to ask yourself why is it that you rely on them and for what. They are after all fulfilling some need of yours. If you can fulfill that need without being dependent on such persons, then you can free yourself from their clutches.
Try developing your self esteem for one, then ask why is it that you hold on to them, we are all selfish individuals, so you must be holding on to them because you are deriving some benefit from them. The question is: are the benefits being derived from the sociopath more than the problems that accompany those benefits ? are they really beneficial to us in the long run?
That decision whether such a person is worth it is to observe the benefits and the downfalls or more so the consequences of being attached to such persons. Find ways to make yourself happy thereby replacing their involvement, and transitionally eradicate them, you will be happier.
Another thought... If they love playing others, then give them a taste of their own medicine and see if they would like it !!! I don't think they will then you then they will rid themselves from you and save you the trouble !!!!
The best way to protect yourself from a sociopath is to avoid him, to refuse any kind of contact or communication.
DeletePsychologists do not usually like to recommend avoidance, but in this case, I make a very deliberate exception. The only truly effective method for dealing with a sociopath you have identified is to disallow him or her from your life altogether. Sociopaths live completely outside of the social contract, and therefore to include them in relationships or other social arrangements is perilous. Begin this exclusion of them in the context of your own relationships and social life. You will not hurt anyone's feelings. Strange as it seems, and though they may try to pretend otherwise, sociopaths do not have any such feelings to hurt.
You may never be able to make your family and friends understand why you are avoiding a particular individual. Sociopathy is surprisingly difficult to see, and harder to explain. Avoid hi/her anyway.
If total avoidance is impossible, make plans to come as close as you can to the goal of total avoidance.
Do not try to redeem the unredeemable.
DeleteSecond (third, fourth, and fifth) chances are for people who possess conscience. If you are dealing with a person who has no conscience, know how to swallow hard and cut your losses.
At some point, most of us need to learn the important if disappointing life lesson that, no matter how good our intentions, we cannot control the behavior-- let alone the character structures-- of other people. Learn this fact of human life, and avoid the irony of getting caught up in the same ambition he has-- to control.
If you do not desire control, but instead want to help people, then help only those who truly want to be helped. I think you will find this does not include the person who has no conscience.
The sociopath's behavior is not your fault, not in any way whatsoever. It is also not your mission. Your mission is your own life.