Friday, December 13, 2013

Making it work with a sociopath?

A reader has started a blog: Empath in a Socio World talking about how she relates to the sociopaths in her lives. It's pretty interesting, for instance, in one of her recent posts she talks about possibly having picked up an STD from the sociopath she is dating. Her reaction might surprise some:

Now, I have to admit, part of me wants to scream and yell at him and ask him why he would ever put me at risk. But as I have learned been trained by my S to do, I waited a couple of days until I was feeling better, both physically and mentally, and had a mature conversation with him. I told him that since I don't know either way what the issue is, I wouldn't dream of accusing him of anything. I then told him that I get it if he wants to have sex with other women, I know him and I know his sexual appetite. He was quick to deny that he has been with anyone since he and I first began dating and I stopped him from continuing.

I explained that I realize that we operate differently and that while I would never sleep with anyone else I don't expect him to uphold that on his end. My only three requests are:


  1. That he cannot be in relationships with any other women. Meaning that if it is sex only, then I get that, but that I don't want him investing into anyone else.
  2. That he wears a condom and gets checked for STDs on a regular basis for my health if not his own.
  3. That he never tells me about it. I do believe that what I don't know can't hurt me (especially if he adheres to rule #2.

I'm pretty sure that I shocked him. He said that he was really impressed by how I handled the situation and that if it was possible, he loved me even more because of it.

Maybe I'm crazy for being open enough to give him the ok on this, or maybe I am incredibly smart for giving my S the freedom he really craves while showing him that I am not worried about other women.

Bottom line: I know my wonderful, sexy S loves me. I really do. He knows that I am devoted to him entirely and that he is my world. Our little world works for us.

Thoughts?

153 comments:

  1. I would say her reaction is patheitc, weak, and exposes a deep-seeded insecurity. This sociopath has her conditioned well -- almost to the point of complete sympishness. I've seen this line of reasoning before from omega-type empaths: "if I only could please my significant other enough maybe (insert filling particular emotional need)".

    The truth is that she gave him the perfect "do whatever the fuck you want" card. Of course he was impressed with how she handled it. I would be downright gleeful over how well my manipulation had panned out. This gentleman has trained his woman well.

    The best part was her percieved "empowerment" from her own emotional abuse. It's almost too delicious to be true. This is precisely why quite a few empaths end up being nothing more than food to us. Their tendency to rationalize their own emotional states makes them very easy to control.

    If you cage a hamster, you win until he gnaws his way out. If you can get a hamster to build his own cage, you win until he dies of old age.

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  2. He definitely trained her well.

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    Replies
    1. I agree with Damaged. She is a nimrod.

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    2. Some guys can only dream of receiving this kind of loyalty from a woman.

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    3. They're the guys that care more about the relationship than she does.

      Whoever cares least, controls the relationship.

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    4. Who cares least, Bill or Hilary?

      How about the late John-John or Carolyn?

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    5. Hilary needs Bill to become president. Bill is probably still getting interns to blow him in his office. Bill cares least.

      I don't know anything about John-John and Carolyn's relationship.

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    6. Hilary STILL needs Bill to become president?
      Tho Ur probably right, "needs" might not be true.
      And youre talking about a marriage transactional. I think Bill would suffer without Hilary on a deeper level. I dont think you can make that call, alterego.

      So what if hes getting bjs in his office. Maybe Other needs trump his sexuual ones.

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    7. I know more people that want Bill back in the White House than Hilary.

      I'm not Alterego.

      Delete
    8. Oh I dont know why I said alterego. Whoops
      Sorry.

      Delete
  3. Letting someone step over you suggest low self-worth, low selfesteem. If she wants to join a swingers club, then OK, nuts in my opinion, but whatever works for them. Giving and not expecting to receive, or accepting to not receive back is terribly self-destructive. After all, all humans are here in for theyr own goals, not to be used as tools.

    Grow up, dump him, let it hurt as long as it takes and find another. The magic is better or just the same with another person if you are able to let go and be such a wuss about it.

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    Replies
    1. Getting over some one is just a matter of time. After a long period, their not even part of your consciousness any more. Nature is good to us in that regard. We can move on and eventually be completely over someone.

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  4. I read more of her posts. She sounds young and very foolish. Also, an emotional masochist.

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  5. This woman's picture could be in the dictionary beside the definition for 'co-dependent.' She's one step away from "he hits me because he loves me."

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    Replies
    1. That last line made me chuckle. He just needs a bell for when she is needed.

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    2. She can hang on from her ta-tas!

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    3. Co-dependents make great partners for anyone on Axis II.

      MelissaR

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  6. Poor woman was obviously abused by a psychopathic parent growing up - she doesn't know whether she's coming or going. She can offer herself up as a dooormat but she'll get dumped anyway when he's finished wiping his feet.

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  7. In a million years I would never have suspected that this woman would be shamed on SW. She is simply spelling out the tacit agreement the less powerful partner makes with the more powerful partner. You see this all the time in traditional marriages.
    I'm not saying it's the best arrangement out there, but it well may be the best arrangement for her.
    The fact is, certain people push our buttons. Certain behavior patterns keep love alive. Some individuals (be they male, female, gay or straight) get off on having the "most alpha" partner. Perhaps they have a strong need for a reflected sense of self and a deep fear of abandonment and that trumps their need to demand sexual exclusivity.

    The real question is: what is she prepared to do when he inevitably violates one of her rules? If she is prepared to coolly end the relationship and say "you fucked up. live with the consequences" then I think she's very empowered. If she accepts his excuses then she is a doormat. We all make our bargains. The real question is- do we hold the other side to this "bargain"?

    (for the record- a situation like this would NOT work for me, but I see it working right and left in upper middle class marriages where it is mutually advantageous to preserve a union for the sake of the kids)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Meanwhile, the children are being exposed to some warped idea of what marriage and relationships are about.

      Think of the children.

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    2. Well, I agree with your rationale here (in life as well as in theory because I divorced a man who engaged in this sort of behavior) but here's the reality check. Unless both parties get serious therapy there's a great likelihood all subsequent relationships will be less healthy (esp for the primary caretaker who has less dating freedom) and the children will be exposed to something worse. The second marriage divorce rate is higher. Kids are hurt by this sort of instability too. Plus, children's standards of living suffer from divorce. So it's not always as simple as it seems.
      An arrangement above is predicated on discretion. It serves the less powerful partner by protecting dignity. Once this arrangement becomes common knowledge it is very degrading to the low power partner who is forced to choose between family stability and self respect.

      As a divorced mom, I can tell you that it was the right decision for me. But I have friends who have made these sort of arrangements for the sake of their kids and I respect their motivations even if I don't agree with them.

      As for kids being exposed to warped ideas about marriage- that's inevitable. Every long term arrangement has a certain degree of dysfunction. The real question is- are both mom and dad happy with the state of their private relationship? If yes, it will have a trickle down effect. So who's to judge?

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    3. It's one thing a married mother making compromises for the sake of her children. It's quite another for a young woman with no ties to settle for so little. The world is her oyster but she's too damaged to see it.

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    4. Sometimes a person needs to be reminded when they are doing something extremely stupid. They should re-think the feedback and make the most out of it. You call it shaming, I call it truth. I guess most people are not very good at handling criticism.

      "I'm pretty sure that I shocked him. He said that he was really impressed by how I handled the situation and that if it was possible, he loved me even more because of it."

      This is terrible. He is rewarding her for letting him step all over her, making her think that she is doing the right thing. In a perfect world she should cut his dick off and watch him bleed out.

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    5. My experience is that people only change when there is sufficient internal motivation to do so. Having strangers tell you that you are acting like an idiot can have the perverse effect of reinforcing the behavior.

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    6. Machi. E, Most of the I see sense in what you say. This time you are way of base. Go read her full blog. She is a very weak woman.

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    7. Ano: she has a point this time too. Maybe she is weak, but she won't perceive your words as an advice to change behaviour(if that us what one wants), thus our opinions are pointless. In a way, we are just being assholes for no gain or point.

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  8. Who are we to judge?This arraingement usually works out well
    if the man is wealthy say, like one of the Kenneady males, Joe or
    Jack, or John Ramsey. The wife is compensated and she has at lest
    a million reasons to stay with the man.
    "It's as easy to marry a rich man as a poor one."

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    Replies
    1. His money is not going to keep you warm in bed at night when he's out with some other woman.

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    2. yes it is just turn up the heat
      (and ther's Always the poolboy)

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    3. How naïve. He will discard you when he has no longer any use for you. Their motivation is exploitation. Get out as soon as you can!

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  9. I suspect the author of this blog chose this one to elicit a strong reaction from others.

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  10. I'm having serious second hand embarrassment. "As I was trained by my sociopath"?? This chick was seriously abused growing up. She sounds pathetic.

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    Replies
    1. She just needs some help and some insight, she may be a lovely human being hiding behind a lot of pain.

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  11. Idiot. Ever heard of AIDS?

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  12. It is standard for high dominance females to seek higher dominance males-when in love one idealizes and to some extent worships the other half, sure this is not a common approach but, if it works...
    As for children, I was brought up in a fairly typical working class family in the 70s, yet I am a sociopath, maybe their kids will grow up wiser than most settled infants do.

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  13. Wonder if she's ever experienced what good self-esteem feels like? She needs some one to TRULY love her and care for her. Like our friend Daniel yesterday. This young lady is emotionally, mentally, spiritually, damaged. Anyone with a heart would want a better life for this young woman. (yeah, I said heart. some of us don't 'get that'.) Would you want this for your daughter?

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  14. She thinks she has no choices, what caused that? No one needs settle for so little. I tried to comment on her blog but Anon comments not allowed.

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  15. What a wonderful life. A STD, a cheater, and someone who will ultimately destroy her. She'll get to spend many years repairing her life and her dignity. Merry Christmas.

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  16. HI all, I am enjoying reading your comments. And thanks to M.E. for allowing me a spot on Sociopathworld.

    I have opened up anon posts for my blog (didn't know it wasn't enabled).

    To address a couple of concerns:
    * I do not have children.
    * Most men (sociopath or not) would cheat if the opportunity presented itself. Especially if they thought they wouldn't get caught, so I think that openly discussing this with my S is a step in the right direction for our relationship.
    * I do have my limits and I am a smart enough individual to know when my limits have been tested too much.

    You can either love the devil you know or love the devil you don't know. I know exactly what I'm getting with my S. Who is to say that the next guy wouldn't have more or worse issues than my S? It's a gamble either way. So I choose to love the one I do know to the best of my ability.

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    Replies
    1. Are you concerned he won't follow your rules? "Don't cheat" is an unspoken rule, and he broke it.

      Delete
    2. He may not. And that's a something I have come to terms with. Don't cheat is an unspoken rule for most couples, but what is the definition of cheating? A kiss? An emotional attachment? Sex? Many people define it differently. All I did was lay out what I felt I could be comfortable with in our specific relationship. May or may not work for others.

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    3. I never cheated in my marriage and I'm a sociopath. To me it makes the relationship a challenge and without fidelity (or the imitation of it), what's the point? To be able to talk to the same person everyday?

      For a second consider the mind of the sociopath: we are all antisocial to some extent -- we don't really need people around us. So when we keep someone around, it's many times because we enjoy the power-dynamic in that relationship. In this case, he enjoys completely dominating you and controlling your whims. If that's what you like, just admit it and be done. Don't try to pretend that you have an actual mutual "relationship". What you have is a master and slave relationship.

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    4. "we don't really need people around us"

      You can't generalise. Socio I know has a deep need for company. That he can't keep friends doesn't help.

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    5. "I know exactly what I'm getting with my S."

      I know exactly what you're not getting: love. He's just using you. I hope you're becoming wealthy out of the deal at least.

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    6. Most men (sociopath or not) would cheat if the opportunity presented itself.

      That's... not correct. Sorry. Most men form attachments to people they've had sex with over a period of time.

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    7. Empath Queen. I am wondering whether you are addicted to your sociopath. You seem to be very focussed on him to the extent of writing a blog about it. He would never have a blog called Sociopath king where he blogs about getting along with his sexy empath. With addiction comes the loss of objectivity, good decision making and rational thinking. Good luck to you dear.

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    8. Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught 74 %

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    9. Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught 68 %

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    10. http://www.statisticbrain.com/infidelity-statistics/

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    11. miss queen, you choose to subject yourself to this. only you know yourself what you should do, or not do..what you can handle, and what you should not handle. my advise: make sure you yourself get regular std testing. Men love going in bare. don't believe a man when he says he'll wear a condom everytime. he just might. maybe, maybe not. I have a friend who's partner tested positive for aids because of his other partners he slept with in the relationship; now he has to go for regular testing. Wearing a condom does not rule out genital herpes.f the outer labia is expose and of course around the man's cock, and also many other diseases. A condom is not full proof.
      Also sweetie, know when to have your heart open, but know when to have your heart in a cage, shut. let it be safe. concentrate on yourself. He is not your life. You have self-worth and dignity inside of you. He does not complete you. As you age, you'll gain the wisdom to see that this man is not the end all. You are the end all in your life. Be wise, play the cards in your hands well. Make sure your queen, and not always under his rule. You never know -- the roles just might switch -- or he'll be so into you, he might not see the justification in cheating. It might not be worth it for him. Good luck. If you want out in the future, make yourself as boring as possible, he'll leave you alone, and he'll be off to his next bait. Choose wisely. And be a step ahead ;)

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  17. been thinking about this a lot. a friend of mine i was starting to see scored high on pyychopathic deviate on mmpi. she told me this. i thought i might could do like alterego said her husband does on ME's blog and handle her the same way. i very much liked her. just found out that she is head over heels for somebody else, though she explained that sometimes her emotions work right or don't work at all or don't do the "normal" thing. just recently, she told me she is smitten by somebody she works around, that she needed to be honest. now she is posting on social media as if nothing ever happened, and for her it might well be that way. i wanna get mad or sad, but mostly i just feel badly for her. so it seems, from my experience lately, that this sort of thing is tricky.

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    Replies
    1. Ohioboy,
      I saw your comment and wanted to respond really quick. A high score on scale 4 on the mmpi can mean a couple of different things. It tends to represent rebelliousness, unconventionality, issues with authority, impulsiveness, etc. People with bpd and aspd will score high on scale 4. You had mentioned she said that her emotions don’t work right. This could be emotional disregulation which you find in people with bpd. Sometimes their emotions can be too intense, and sometimes there can be complete apathy. Where I would argue that many of the traits in personality disorders give individuals an advantage socially, unfortunately what gets compromised are effective interpersonal skills. There is a form of therapy called dialectical behavior therapy that has been well researched as a treatment for BPD. If a person has bpd, and hasn’t received treatment, they can be very difficult in intimate relationships.

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    2. Thanks, dr. Ging, she has a history of being fickle and dating guys I consider losers. after she did this, no need to bother with her. Only thing that bothers me is that every year, for the last few, I have gotten into the uncertainty stage with somebody in fall or winter. It has imploded by the holidays. Other than that, this is surely a blessing to me and tells me what I need to know as a man who will not beg and plead in any way, shape, size, form.

      Delete
  18. The defense mechanism hamster wheel is spinning in hyperdrive with this one - What a catch!

    I have thought about what would happen if a woman were to offer me such an arrangement. I would probably keep it for a while, though I find the use of condoms abhorrent.

    Currently, one of the girls I'm sleeping with has a boyfriend, and I greatly enjoy the fact that she lets me have her raw, whenever I want. She claims to make the boyfriend wear a condom.

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    Replies
    1. All fun and games til you pick up some nice STD and your dick falls off.

      Delete
    2. Have you ever researched the transmission rate of STDs from female to male through vaginal intercourse?

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    3. She's probably telling the other guy the same thing.

      You might as well be gay for each other.

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    4. lol Yes. When you are humping her Empathy-Free, you are rubbing into his swet, pheromones and bodily fluids. nice! :D but I guess you don't care..

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    5. She showed me a picture of him, to get a reaction, then proceeds to talk about how he's "bad ass" because of his cool hobbies and lifestyle. A few minutes later I'm pounding her doggy style on my couch.

      I've found women, in general, to be as empty, wicked, and impulsive as me.

      The dumb whore who wrote this article, is no exception. She will be used, abused, and discarded. He will literally use her until every last drop of value has been extracted. He will break her down until she is nothing.

      Then he will laugh.

      He will view her with scorn, she will validate his view of the world. He will relish in delight at the beautiful and utter destruction he has wrought on such a wretched and pathetic creature.

      I love this blog.

      Delete
    6. The sort of women who are attracted to callousness in you will run from you the moment you lose your edge. Your curse will be that you are unable to relate to a different sort that fits a different stage of life because you will alienate them. Suddenly the tables will be turned and the sort of merciless woman you currently dominate will delight in crushing what is left of you. It's unlikely that the same exact woman will do both- but it is the same sort of woman, approximately 12 years younger than the one you currently control who will wear the pants in the final relationship(?). After that there will only be impotence.
      Loss of youth/change in fortune tend to destroy men who can not relinquish the role of alpha male. In that moment you will understand that your dominance is fleeting. Rebels without a cause tend to die young because there is nothing but despair once the inevitable slide towards decay can no longer be denied.

      Your story doesn't have to end that way, Empathy Free. You don't have to become a sentimental fool. You just have to treat your human resources with more care. That's a learned skill that can benefit even the hardest heart. It's kind of like retirement planning...because that day will come for you too.

      Delete
    7. Emapthy-Free: She might view you, the way you view her. Right now you are noth getting what you want, thinking you are the chief of it all. What happens when you turn on each other? Who wins? Obviously, she has more to loose initially since she is in a relationship. But what does she know about you that she could use? Don't be too cocky. Or like they do in grappling; keep your punching arm to yourself until you know the time is right, unless you want your opponent to grab it and break it. Never tried grappling? Try it. You'll know what I'm trying to say.

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    8. @Emapthy-Free It's always doggie style with you guys isn't it. Get out of the closet!

      Delete
    9. @ME: The psychopathic personality is, if anything, adaptive. I can and do calibrate my treatment of both men and women based on various factors, including their perceived value, the sustainability of that value, their personality, strengths/weaknesses, self-esteem, known life history, etc.

      The author of this post conjures images of my most submissive and wretched sex supplies, the ones I view as "low value" and thus am indifferent to losing.

      Also, the girl I'm talking about is in her 20s, still has a fantastic tight body. I don't mess with anything older than that, and have given great thought to how I can continue to date women younger than me as I age.

      However, what you said has great merit. Aging narcissists (and by extension, psychopaths) are not a pretty sight. My self-awareness (which was quite hard won; I suspect that many psychopaths are still lost in a haze of misunderstood sensations and patterns of external blame) prods at me in moments where I've identified one of these miserable "past their prime" people - alone, friendless, bitter, hating every moment because life pales in comparison to the height of their power.

      I like to believe that I have enough intelligence, restraint, and awareness to build upon, rather than destroy, my highest value relationships. Lately I've been giving great thought to what it would feel like to be an old, broke, emotional void with no women, money, or authority to soothe my boredom.


      @SomeOne,

      I don't understand. I -am- getting what I want from her, sex. I have no desire to date her, or even take her out in public. She usually comes straight to my house.

      Eventually I know that the struggle will come to a head and she will disappear. She's already tried, but indifference usually brings them back for several more rounds. I've played this game many times.

      When she's gone for good, all I have to do is replace her with a fresh version; this is done easily. She's a good looking girl with a tight body, but very damaged and low class. Those are a dime a dozen and easily found.

      She knows very little about me. Typically in the time I spend talking with her, I'm asking her open ended questions and letting her roam free. She seems content to not know much about me, other than surface things like what I do or what I drive.

      She's the least of my worries.

      Delete
    10. @Anonymous,

      The more masculine and aggressive you are with a woman, the sluttier she will be with you. You will see a side of her that will shock you. The "classier" she is, the more profound the transformation can be.

      I could teach you much.

      Delete
    11. Ah yes and the missionaries could teach you a thing or two. Doggie all the way because you'd really prefer anal. Woof woof.

      Delete
    12. She comes to your house because she doesn't want to be seen out in public with the old guy.

      Stick with the 20 year-olds, anyone older will want something more nuanced than a 'pounding'.

      Delete
    13. You do realize you can act the same as me, right? Maybe you've tried and can't get away with it.

      Maybe you're short, fat, bald, ugly, low to middle class, or stupid. Maybe you're some combination of these traits. Sorry for your luck.

      Imitation is always more productive than envy, I've found.

      Or you're a woman, in which case you're even more fucked up than I am.

      Either way, you're homophobic, something I've always found to be present in those who subconsciously want to play catch.

      Delete
    14. Also, I'm mid thirties and in very good shape. Mid twenties girls (and sometimes younger) are a lock.

      Delete
    15. No doubt I could act the same but sexual incontinence doesn't interest me.

      Delete
    16. Empathy Free-
      Kindness seems irrelevant at this point but it is an important capacity to have even if you use it sparingly. The most perfect partner in the world will occasionally disappoint. You have to figure out how not to react with hostility when she has an "off" day. For now when everyone is young and child free the easy answer is to avoid her. But as time passes that excuse doesn't al;ways work.

      You have time. But it's worth thinking about how to learn patience for those one-off days, (or even weeks or months which certainly happen if she gets pregnant and you find yourself in a place where you'd like her to keep it. Then the "heartless" woman isn't a great choice....).

      Good luck. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. I hope you find a drama free relationship that is founded (at least partially) on mutual respect. It's better long term when you don't have to keep extricating yourself from nut jobs. Not a problem for you yet, but throw kids into the picture and it's a different ballgame.

      Delete
    17. "She's a good looking girl with a tight body, but very damaged and low class."

      Birds of a feather flock together.

      Delete
    18. @Anonymous,

      LOL. Are you concerned that the "classy" ones are just as easily manipulated? Allow me to confirm your darkest suspicions.


      @ME

      I almost had a kid with a girl one time. She said she was pregnant and wanted to start a family. She was a good girl, little crazy but deep in love and . Rather than try to "force" her to have an abortion, I simply told her that she was free to choose, but she would be raising the child as a single mother. She had the abortion.

      I did her a favor.

      Also, I totally agree with you that a "heartless" woman isn't mother material. They are good for just one thing.

      Delete
    19. A word of advice Empathy-Free: classy is not a classy word.

      You are the amatory equivalent of the all-you-can-eat buffet schlub.

      Delete
    20. @Anonymous

      Hence the quotes. In your rush to judgment, you ignore my obvious sarcasm.

      Great word - amatory. I can just see you at a romantic candlelight dinner with a beautiful, sophisticated, self-respecting, emotionally mature young lady with healthy boundaries (is that better?).

      You dream of life with her, a life of deep emotional fulfillment. Children, laughter, family, love. You gaze longingly into her eyes, and with all the courage you can muster, say "You are the amatory equivalent of the matsutake mushroom."

      Little do you know that she just gave me a blowjob in my car earlier today.


      If you're a woman:
      You were the one giving me the blowjob in the car.

      Delete
    21. I'm just surprised you haven't figured out how to give yourself a blowjob.

      Delete
    22. Litlte do you know, I have. And I give the best head in town. Ask anyone.

      Delete
    23. Empathy-free,

      You're that old?? I thought you were only like 23.

      Delete
    24. Age is just a number.

      Delete
    25. Imitation (or in this case, masquerading as someone else) is the highest form of flattery.

      My job here is done.

      Delete
    26. And now..
      So is mine.
      Whhhoooya

      Delete
    27. There used to be a commenter who would post theme songs for certain personalities. I suspect she would've found a good one for Empathy Free. Missing her posts...

      Delete
    28. The feminist's theme song no doubt.

      Delete
    29. So all-you-can-eat buffet guy has gone in search of meatballs. Oh well.

      Theme song? How about Ben Folds - All U Can Eat

      Son, look at all the people in this restaurant
      What d'you think they weigh?
      And out the window to the parking lot
      At their SUVs taking all of the space

      Yes, wonder where those commenters have gone. Remember Monica and Rich who faked his own death...

      Delete
    30. Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
      A: Feminists can't change anything.

      I love that one.


      Anonymous, if I wrote a blog would you masturbate to it? I simply cannot imagine what any normal, healthy person would be doing reading or commenting here. You're either like me, or, in the grips of someone like me, or wishing you were still good enough to capture our attention.

      Delete
    31. Yes, I am like you.

      You see, I too, go on random blogs telling strangers about my non existent sex life.

      Delete
    32. Feminists can't change anything..um yea that's why Philip zimbardo has a lecture called "The Demise of Guys" cuz the world is bein taken over by women.

      Delete
    33. A bit of projection going on here? Just because your sex life is non-existent doesn't mean your miserable condition is shared by everyone else.

      Sometimes a cigar really is a cigar.

      I'm sorry your psychopathic lover left you high and dry... maybe he will be back and you can find release again.

      @Anonymous #2: Astounding evidence for the growing supremacy of woman.

      I could wrote quite a bit about the "empowered" woman, but you aren't intelligent enough to receive it.

      "Do not cast your pearls before swine" type thing.

      Delete
    34. Don't cast your swines before pearls, more like.

      Delete
    35. "wishing you were still good enough to capture our attention."

      My how you contradict yourself. If a woman who is 'very damaged and low class' is good enough to capture your attention, I'm guessing the bar is not so high.

      Delete
    36. At last, a decent barb.

      I was beginning to think my peanut gallery's sophistication languished at the level of gay jokes and sex shaming.

      I choose various levels of women. My behavior does have to be tailored to the girl to a degree. I openly date "good" girls but I have a great fondness for damaged ones - they expect to see my sadism. Girls who weren't damage, maintain greater energy and I can show myself to her far less.

      In appreciation of your witty banter, I'd like to offer you my services. Tell me about the psychopathic lover you're clearly still attached to. I will help you win his (or her) fleeting interest.

      Delete
    37. oops.

      *damaged, require greater energy to maintain

      I need to stop posting during happy hours.

      Delete
    38. I smell fagala.

      Delete
    39. When men were drawn and quartered, there was an extra drawstring for the penis.

      Delete
    40. When I date a narcissist ...lets face it, easy to please... I fake weakness so they can shine like the ..king of the JUngLe! Sometimes i even wait on them hand and foot while Im routing through their bank statements.

      If there is, I fuck him with 2 condoms till hes comatose and then I get up to pee /leave him in the bed to snore and drool whilst I drain his accounts via his laptop with all his passwords being the same: imtheshit.

      Delete
    41. "Tell me about the psychopathic lover you're clearly still attached to."

      You must realize Empathy-Free that being attached to a psychopath would be akin to being attached to Bart Simpson i.e. a fictional character trotting out lines. That's why psychopaths are so knackered all the time. It must be hard having to be 'on' 24/7. Which is why, despite your awesome life out gobbling chicks, you come in here to be real.

      Delete
    42. Behold, the Narcissist Slayer!

      Unable to make her own money, she carefully selects her vulnerable target. She spreads her legs like the good little whore she is, she lets him have her in whatever way he desires.

      She hacks his bank accounts with the stealth and cunning of a covert intelligence operative... only to find that his cash on hand amounts to the rough equivalent of bus fare home.

      "Damnit, how do they always fool me? I can't believe I swallowed for this one."

      Dejected, she moves along.

      My tip to you is to find a psychopath, not a garden variety narcissist himbo. They will have more money.


      Also, I hope you're not inferring that sexual conquest should sate my appetite for dominance. How hard is it to dominate a stupid whore with a ticking biological clock?

      Women are the fun part, but not the most important part.

      Delete
    43. You really are dumb, arent you? The only reason I put out bait is to draw you out so the whole place here can see what an idiot you are. Youre outnumbered at the mo.

      Oh and I did date a psycho. He did have money. That was his selling point . It was a shame because he relied on it to catch women. He did alright, sure. But they took advantage of him. It was his self.fulfilling prophecy.

      You sound like a narcissist, the way you got riled up. Just sayin, dont get yer knickers in a knot over it. narcissism is part of your condition.

      Delete
    44. @Empathy-Free, why do you denigrate women for wanting children, for wanting to perpetuate the human race? If it weren't for some woman's ticking biological clock, you wouldn't be here.

      Maybe as Anon 9:41 PM says, you really are a few tools short of a shed.

      Delete
    45. As for psychopaths having more money, it makes no difference since they are tighter than a camel's arse and love to hoard it.

      Delete
    46. Yes, he's dumb as a bag of hammers.

      The evidence is here:

      "Also, the girl I'm talking about is in her 20s, still has a fantastic tight body. I don't mess with anything older than that . . ."

      And later:

      "Age is just a number."

      Go easy on the poor fellow, his mind is flaccid.

      Delete
    47. That he stereotypes that all women want to be mothers is a sign of low intellect.

      Sometimes they do feign low intellect to get a rise out of people, but in his case I think hes an angry woman hater who can only feel manly when with a younger woman who hasnt enough sexual experience to know how a real working penis functions...his mind probably isnt the only thing that's flacid.

      Delete
    48. "Youre outnumbered at the mo." I'm outnumbered every day, in real life, by sheep. Numbers don't always equal strength, as in this case, they usually just equal amplified stupidity.

      "It was a shame because he relied on it to catch women. He did alright, sure. But they took advantage of him." I'm sure he was heart broken to find that instead of sharing a loving emotional bond, they were only trading sex for money, like (shudder) a prostitute! I bet his favorite movie was The Notebook, and he still cries and writes you love letters. (As an alternative guess, I'd say he had another woman in his bed a few hours after you gave him the boot.)

      "why do you denigrate women for wanting children, for wanting to perpetuate the human race?" I did not denigrate women's biological clock, I merely stated that it is no great feat to manipulate a "dumb whore with a ticking biological clock." This doesn't mean that women are bad, or the clock is bad. It is merely the primary tool by which men can obtain leverage.

      Honestly, I am going to have to start using much shorter sentences and much shorter words, giving the reading comprehension of my faithful fans here.

      The larger point evaded you entirely. I would suggest reading more slowly. :)


      "As for psychopaths having more money, it makes no difference since they are tighter than a camel's arse and love to hoard it." This is true of some, quite untrue of others. Psychopaths come in all shapes and sizes, in fact, they are just as likely as a narcissist

      "Age is just a number." - This is true, for a man, and that is the context I said it in. A woman past her prime is useless from a sexual standpoint. She can still provide value in other ways, if you can get past the sagging skin and other signs of wear and tear.

      "That he stereotypes that all women want to be mothers is a sign of low intellect. " No, I am aware that there are women who either hate themselves or have poor genetics, who do not wish to breed. Also, some narcissistic and psychopathic women don't want children.

      As for me, I am narcissistic, and I own it. In you, on the other hand, I would be hesitant to suggest such a quality. Your tales of manipulation of narcissists and psychopaths (for money, no less) strike a chord with me that is somewhat hollow.

      What you are is more along the lines of a miserable, jealous, disbelieving victim of someone just like me. You cannot process the maddening feelings of ambivalence - "Did he really love me? Am I worth loving? How can something feel so good and not even be REAL?"

      You are mentally and emotionally compromised.

      The disbelief I encounter here is quite telling... your lives are full of failure, longing, and anxiety. "Surely, he must be fake, because my broken and victimized psyche cannot accept that he is real, or right."

      I am enjoying this conversation.

      Delete
    49. Oops!

      "As for psychopaths having more money, it makes no difference since they are tighter than a camel's arse and love to hoard it." This is true of some, quite untrue of others. Psychopaths come in all shapes and sizes, in fact, they are just as likely as a narcissist"

      Look at me, I got so excited about addressing the trolls that I forgot to finish a sentence! Mind in too many places at once, it seems.

      What I meant to say: "Psychopaths come in all shapes and sizes, in fact, they are just as likely as a narcissist to have money - or just as unlikely. It was necessary for me to lie in order to humorously address your fabricated story of seducing a 'narcissist', so I went with it. I knew you would swallow it, as all good girls swallow."

      Also, "given" not "giving", in my reference to the fan club's general level of reading comprehension.

      I'm giving you greatness, chew it slowly.

      Delete
    50. Blah blah blah...

      Delete
    51. Hey empathy free. I know, I know, youre a big bad psycho...lets face it: Youre a psycho and im not. -We dont speak the same language, and you have a limitation when it comes to humour. Thats cool, I respect that.

      But your use of exclamation points is telling. Youre pissed off, clearly, and you're swinging. It's a tell that I've pushed some buttons.

      It doesnt take a prostitute at all to learn the politics of sex. Sex is just another form of currency, depending on who you're dealing with. So you look down on women who use it to their advantage.

      So tell us: what woman from your past pissed you off with the power of her pussy?

      Delete
    52. I think u are missing the pont I was trying to make with the comment about his money also.

      It is an overcompensation to use something outside the selff in order to manipulate. ..it is the same as my example in my fictional story of my use of sexuality. (Happen to like sex but I digress) Using sthg like money or sex to secure attachment yields short term and shallow gains.

      While women ...and men for that matter " sag" people and psychos lose their fortunes. My ex did not believe he had enough to offer. He had fear. When he saw he was unable to keep me happy he moved on. He enjoyed the shortterm win. He was very uncomfortable around people with stable love relationships. He could not do them. He tried. He and I had in common our discomfort with our core selves. I can very easily go from man to man, replacing the last one with fresh kill. Very easy to do that. It is a sport I have been playing many years. He saw me the way I am sometimes... a cutesy little woman with ability to catch oposite sex just as easily, if not more easily than he.
      He decided he wanted to teach me a lesson ..by lxeaving me before I dumped him. It is a coward who is afraid of being left. Narcissists have the same insecurities as borderline women when it comes to abandonment. The fact that most are not in touch with their fears is sad.
      We will always have the upper hand because we are used to the fear and we are used to loss. He could see this. Maybe he was right to self protect. Probably. He is not stupid.

      He cannot live in the present. He is always thinking of the game. He is the loneliest person I have met and reads "the power of now" My heart does not bleed for him though. Not in the least. Hes a douchebag and wears his mask slipping sliding all over his face, sloppily.

      It bothered him that i had been married already and had seccrets to sustain long term relationship. It bothered him very much. He said so often.
      Do not presume to know what happened in the relationship I had with him. You sound foolish.

      Delete
    53. No no i did not wonder whether he loved me. I do research on pds. I was with him because I was having fun. Unfortunately, I am hope too much sometimes, so I lie to myself so I can stay involved. It is a phony trick I do to myself. Sometimes I forget I doing it, sometimes I think I am doing it when it is reeal love, sometimes I do really love , and then the next day I wake up and it is a mirage. But in the case with him I lied to myself well. LikeI always did before hhim. It does not matter what kind of personality they have. I do not expect I am lovable. But I am. I have been told truthfully, too many times;
      :)

      Delete
    54. @ Anon 11:59 PM - What's wrong with your ex reading The Power of Now, surely that's a good thing, a sign that he's searching for answers? That was one thing I respected about psychopath ex - he left no stone unturned in his search for answers. Ultimately it was futile but at least he wasn't one of those idiots insisting he's fine, nay, more evolved than the sheeple.

      "It doesnt take a prostitute at all to learn the politics of sex. Sex is just another form of currency, depending on who you're dealing with. So you look down on women who use it to their advantage."

      Interesting observation. How can it ever be to a woman's advantage to have a child with a psychopath? At best it means he has access to her life for 18 years or so. At worst, she's in danger of having a psychopathic child - if one accepts that there is a genetic component to the condition.

      Delete
    55. U misunderstand. I am not criticizimg my ex. I am saying that he is aware of his anxiety and paranoia, very similar to the way I am. It is a good thing. He is always searching tor new ways to be and think. He tries to get unstuck. Like I do. It was a good thing to see that.

      What is your line of thinking when you combine my observati8n about sexual currency and having children?

      Obviously, if I had chosen this psycho and he chose me, andd we had a child, we would not have been the ones who exposed it to this .line of thinking..They would have learned it because little girls are posting sexy photo shoots of themselves and posting them all over social media.

      Speaking of feminism, anon 250, There is a wonderful documentary called "sexy baby" . It shows the lives of 3 modern women including a 13 year old girl (with wonderul paremts if u ask me) living in the world post fe, minism movement. It is unfortunate that empathy free's point bout feminism rings true to a certain extent. regarding sexuality as currency, that is. The new feminists argue with their predecessors that all our ..twerking..is sexually empowering. Rriiight.

      You dont have to be a bonafide psycho to ruin a mind, believe me.

      Delete
    56. All parents with daughters should see that documentary.

      Delete
    57. Anonymous #1,

      I'm glad you opened up about your relationship. You are obviously missing him and still in pain. (The use of the word "douchebag" is a dead giveaway.

      At any rate, it can be difficult to let go.

      You said, "Using sthg like money or sex to secure attachment yields short term and shallow gains." I think you are looking at this the wrong way, at least in regards to a relationship with a psychopath. He is not ABLE to offer anything else. He isn't able to bond or love like (I'm assuming) you can. Thus he projects his mode of thinking onto every woman/relationship. This creates insecurity because he isn't capable of processing that you truly may love him NOT because of money or his manipulation tactics, but for genuine reasons.

      To some extent I feel this type of insecurity myself, though my awareness helps ameloriate it.

      "We will always have the upper hand because we are used to the fear and we are used to loss."

      Your vulnerability is your emotion, and your inability to regulate it. Don't be naive.

      My honest opinion is that you would be with him a heartbeat (assuming he would allow it) if he only did a better job of maintaining his mask. Borderlines love psychopaths, they feel safety in their detachment. Yet when they focus on the fear of abandonment, ambivalence sets in.



      @Anonymous #2,

      Just because there are disadvantages to having a psychopathic child (or husband/father) doesn't mean there aren't advantages.

      One comes to mind:
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexy_son_hypothesis

      Delete
    58. "Yet when they focus on the fear of abandonment, ambivalence sets in." should read, "Yet when he triggers their fear of abandonment, ambivalence sets in."

      Delete
    59. @ Anon 9:11 AM Sorry, my misunderstanding.

      Also, I wasn't really combining your observation about sexual currency with having children, they're separate issues really. The currency observation was an interesting one that got me thinking about power and how psychopathic parents rob their offspring of the ability to exercise their natural advantages.

      As for having children with a psychopath, that followed on from Empathy-Free's comment about leverage... I was thinking there's only leverage for the man if he's someone whose children the woman would consider having.

      Must check out the documentary you mention. Sinead O'Connor had some interesting comments on twerking recently and the fate of young women in the music business.

      Delete
    60. @ Empathy-Free The 'sexy son' theory doesn't wash from what I've seen of families where there's a psychopath parent. Too much damage is done and it takes years to recover from childhood in such cases. The offspring tend to have one child if they reproduce at all. Emotionally healthy families have big broods. Of course there are exceptions.

      Delete
    61. Like, the Bush family?

      Delete
    62. Empathy free:I have a very good memory, and I remember all the intricacies in all my relationships. I am not allowed to speak of him fondly and also remember him as a douchebag? Come on now. Havent you ever had a relationdhip you knew was unhealthy and enjoyed it anyway? I have to refer to him as the douchebag sometimes. I compartmentalize. It is for me i say douchebag. He is a person who represents fire to me. I need to remind myself. I need to remember that I cried a lot when I was with him. It is very easy for me to forget bad stuff. That is how I was able to be with him in the first place.
      ..i suppose i could miss someone and not give a fuck about them at the same time. It is that way with my ex friend, the narcissist who I dumped. I think about her, but I dont miss her on a whole.

      Delete
    63. Maybe you are right in that I would be temped to take him again. I suppose if he started on the viagra and the psych meds . Hes a cuckoo you know. He is not a nice person. He kerps a woman unfree. No, I did not like being caged. We would be at one anothers throats again. He would not have a woman so hell bent on freedom. He did not have a psychopath diagnosis. He has an antisocial diagnosis, and is highly narcissistic. I dont think he would appeal to me a second go around. His money and his humour appealled to me most. I am pretty sure that I would be tempted, and then our games would start up again. It was very exhausting, a waste of energy, if I went nack it would be some sort of need for drama,

      Delete
    64. What I meant about having the upper hand is for the garden variety narcissist, not the psycho or socio or antisocial. Unless I find myself in love, they do not stand a chance.
      I I find the regular narc very fragile, way more fragile emotionally than I am.

      Delete
    65. Yes, I was thinking of oconnor's open letter to miley cyrus when I wrote that comment.
      The new feminists in denial remind me of myself when I deny I am vulnerable, I really and truly hate not having power. I see so much red that I do not want to give anyone the satisfaction I am angry. Im so angry.

      Delete
    66. I don't know much about the Bush family but George W seems more village idiot than sexy boy. Maybe the Clintons, not that we can necessarily diagnose anyone without knowing them.

      Delete
    67. Look into the family. Prescott and HW Bush especially.

      W is a war criminal. That does not come easily.

      Delete
  19. As I was reading the excerpt from Queen Empath's blog post, at first I was thinking "OK, at least she's being somewhat realistic and pragmatic." She's not making the same mistake most empaths make, trying to use feelings (like shame) as leverage to shape the other person's behavior. Instead she is acknowledging his very real autonomy, and trying to make a deal that preserves both his autonomy and her own well being. Sure, many of us are questioning whether her well being is actually preserved by such a deal, but my point here is that she DIDN'T make Empath Mistake #1: assuming that everybody is like them and can be influenced through the same channels they are, i.e. feelings and social judgement (a la "How could you do this to me!?!").

    But then alarm bells started going off here: "He said that he was really impressed by how I handled the situation and that if it was possible, he loved me even more because of it." Hmm. Sounds like she walked right into Empath Mistake #2: putting way too much stock in what the socio says about YOU. (Along with taking what the socio says at face value.) "I did it right! He says he's impressed! He says he loves me more!" If those messages from Socio make Queen Empath feel good (and it sounds like they do), then she is not as empowered as she may think she is. She is drinking the empath kool-aid, accepting somebody else's validation of her, not even questioning whether her carousing-STD-giving-sociopath 'sexy devil' can legitimately validate her. (Answer: no. Only she can, but that's a lot harder than looking to others, so most people don't bother.)

    People like to think of themselves in certain ways -- "I'm good with kids!" "I'm good with animals!" "I'm good with computers!" or whatever. Some empaths definitely seem to want to think of themselves as being "good with sociopaths." Some people ARE good with sociopaths (e.g. ME's kryptonite friend, or Daniel's mom), but these are *NOT* the people who need to think of themselves as "good with sociopaths." Needing to think of yourself in a certain way like that provides a large, easy to manipulate lever that is catnip not only to socios but to anyone who enjoys seeing self-serving illusions deflated.

    Finally, people are saying Empath Queen sounds young; I hope so because maybe she'll be able to grow and open her eyes. In her post yesterday (sad situation with her dad, wishing her socio boyfriend was more supportive) she says "Oh, I know tomorrow, he will say he fell asleep and never heard the phone and I'll pretend to accept his half assed excuse and things will go on like normal. It sucks at times my dear E's. I'll admit it. It's times like this I wish I had a man who truly loves me and only me. Who cares when I am lonely or sad...or in pain. It's the life I have chosen to live but tonight I am wishing I had another choice." Dear Queen: You do have another choice. You're fooling yourself if you think you don't. It's not true that "Most men (sociopath or not) would cheat if the opportunity presented itself;" it's the ones who WOULD who want you to think that way, so you won't leave them for one who wouldn't. Also bogus: "Who is to say that the next guy wouldn't have more or worse issues than my S?" YOU are to say it. It's entirely up to you. You meet someone, you gradually learn about them and their issues, and you DECIDE whether you want to be with them or not. IT'S UP TO YOU. Nobody else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Saying that he was impressed was merely me stating the conversation as it took place. I'm not jumping for joy because he says he loves me more. That's simply the way it went down.

      As far as not having a choice, he IS my choice. I don't change my mind because everything doesn't go my way. My relationship with my S is actually very good.

      Delete
    2. The thing is that only the two people involved in a relationship really know how it is. I am doing my best to explain it and what works for us.

      Delete
    3. http://www.statisticbrain.com/infidelity-statistics/

      Delete
  20. Firstly, the 'Queen' bit suggests to me that the appearance of having an alpha dog by your side is more important to you than the reality of having a mutual loving relationship. I'm guessing you're the product of a narcissistic family.

    Secondly, a guy who won't pick up the phone when you're in pain is a waste of space. This is not an 'issue' as you put it, this is a fundamental. What happened that you feel you don't deserve love? All men - or women - do not cheat given the opportunity. Who told you that? Please stop deluding yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh dear, Empath Queen is stuck on an ex-con who visits prostitutes. What a catch!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, Didn't I date one of those??!! LOL

      Delete
    2. No narcs in my family tht I'm aware of. I was raised normally for the most part.

      Delete
  22. Empath in a socio world? More like idiot in the real world.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Thought #1: Middle of the night, handcuffs, knife, balls.
    Thought #2: Dick, inner thigh, superglue.

    ReplyDelete
  24. A great miracle has to me well my name are Lowry from, Canada i want you all to help me in thanking Dr. kizzekpe (kizzekpespells@outlook.com) who help me with my problems. My husband and i have been married for seven years now, we live happily as good couples until a friend of mine cast a spell on my husband. he abandoned me and the family, he didn’t even want to see me at all because he was under a spell. it was now getting to nine months since my husband abandoned me and i was frustrated and don’t know what to do until i meet this great spell caster on line, I tell him my problems and he give me just three days assurance that he will come back to me. He help me break the spell that was casted on my husband and to my greatest surprise the third day my husband came knocking on my door and beging me for forgiveness. once again thank you Dr.kizzekpe you can also contact him through his mail kizzekpespells@outlook.com;

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suspect that you are in fact "Dr." Kissekpe. Nice try to drum up some business but this is not deepest Africa and it is not 1100 a.d. and not a whole lot of people believe in spells and "casting" anymore. Plus, your attempts at English really suck. Nigerian, perhaps?

      Delete
  25. "Bottom line: I know my wonderful, sexy S loves me. I really do." Great, and how do you know this; perhaps because he told you so?

    "He knows that I am devoted to him entirely and that he is my world." And that's how he will continue to keep you, no matter what he does.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Empath queen. The relationship you perceive cannot possibly be the one he perceives. His perception is so
    Far different from yours. While I grant you there is some sort of attachment on his part and an addiction on your part that is not really a relationship. More precisely it is a relationship in your own mind. I know of what I speak. I have been in your glass slippers queen.

    ReplyDelete
  27. narcissistic/histronic women hits well with Sociopathic men. But it is only in her delusions that this relationship is normal. Both only takes what they want. The sociopathic male put on the perfect husband/mate front end to satisfy/props up the womans need for perfect self image in public.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Look, I have/had a bit of histriionic pd. Sure it is mild, and I do NOT speak for all of histrionic women. I am pretty self aware.
      There is no way I thought this was a normal relationship lol. It was the most bizarre charade. However, the comments like:
      "How come I didnt meet you 20 years ago"..yknow, that was nice. It was sweet and sad at the same time, and for a teeny weeny bit of time, we played house so nicely. There was nohing text book like you say, except for the fact my esteem is warped. And so is his. Its worse than mine lol

      Delete
  28. I can't even count the number of women I've known in life who have taken this approach with a man, and thought themselves so superior....and it DID work...right up until it didn't anymore. The only way this would work is if you were, indeed, a conniving, manipulative sociopath and didn't really give a damn about emotional connections, trust, and all those things most people find kind of important in a primary intimate relationship.......The man doesn't love you ENOUGH, you fool. But you'll find out, in time, just like everyone else does.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We learn. Thankfully :) unfortunately that word "Enough" is so appropriate. It tak3s q long time to undo ..sometimes recognize when we do not 3ven know that that is going on.
      If only we were more this way or that way, th3y will lov3 me. T isnt even hpd problem. Women want to be able to have it all and do it all, and make it all happen. That is the downside of hard won feminism. When we see a relationship we perceive needs to be "better" we see and do , because we strong enough to do the things that it will take,..the workl...because we are smart...
      Thats why women in power should rule the world, not mess with deadene relationships. Amyway, women dont need ta be wearing the balls for the 2 of you in your relationship,

      Thats a socio challenge. He sees you working so hard at making the 2 of you work, then blegh he needs ta go.

      Delete
    2. Should read bpd, not hpd.

      I think the healed bpds should all get together and rule the world. Atleast we know what perfection might look like one day. There is nothing like thriving in the power of survival, nothing like it.

      Delete
    3. Haha anon 400. I thought I saw you put "bpd" in your comment. Oh well.

      Delete
  29. The man can't love her
    No matter how much she conforms herself to
    His tastes. He never will love her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe all she cares about is the best love he has ever mustered. Idk what that is, that need to be person responsible for the most youll 3ver get out of them

      Some women like it to know they are the ones who will be considered THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY. 5here is some sort of ego boost in there.

      I have an ex 2ho enjoys it to know that his user girlfriends always come back to him se3ing what they should have appreciated...
      He likes it to be considered creme de la creme even though they would have only given him the crumbs compared to the whole pie he baked.

      I dont understand it, but imo it is kind of a narcissism.

      Delete
  30. Anyone here ever read Robert Greene's book `Art of Seduction'? If not, its worth a read as its explains a great deal behind why some people stay loyal to partners who never commit and fail to give them what they really want or need.

    In a nutshell, everyone is vulnerable to certain seducer types. You yourself might be vulnerable to charmers and nurturers, another person may be vulnerable to innocence or coquettish behaviors. Others are vulnerable to seducers who regress them back to their childhood emotions and trigger their unmet needs.

    Empath Queen's behaviour and attitude is perfectly understandable; her seducer type is clearly the partner who regresses her back to her childhood needs, and the associated coquettish abandoning behaviours she experienced . She is not attracted to the abuse exactly, but rather the abuse recreates an emotional climate that regresses her. This is a very powerful form of seduction, and can totally immobolise an unaware seducee. They call the mental -emotional state `the FOG' and only a complete cessation of contact can eventually clear it away.

    To me, Empath Queen's only error is that she doesn't see (yet) that she is trapped in a complex type of seduction, and that she is chasing a payoff that will never come. What she wants is to win the love of a person who cannot love her, or anybody. I'll be so bold as to suggest its what she wanted as a child too...the love her parent, who also lacked the capacity for love. She may have learned early to assign the word `love' to actions that were somewhat positive (but not loving), because it made her feel safe. More to the point, it enabled her to tolerate a reality that is too frightening for a dependent child to live with.

    BTW. Sociopaths are my main seducer type too, but they are not the only type that can seduce me, not by a long shot. I am also seduced by charmers and nurturers, and have waaaay longer and richer relationships with these types.

    I truly hope Empath Queen will eventually find her way out of this seduction trap, and realize that it will never payoff.

    Some people just never value other people, and get off on hurting people close to them. They can be seductive. But its a promise that leads to nothing at all.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Thats cool. Thanks. Maybe I will give it a read. What kind of personality do you have?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its funny, i think different seducer types bring out different sides to me. I'm more attracted to sociopaths, and pleasing them means a lot to me during a seduction. So a sociopath would regard me more of a charmer/natural type, and sometimes a siren.

      But when a more natural/sensitive type of man tries to seduce me, I'm less attracted to them initially, so they would see me as a coquette most likely.

      How about you, what type?

      Delete
    2. Like you:)

      you are gentle with yourself. That is a lovely trait.

      Delete
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  33. Be careful here nobody can help you here or even suggest how you can get your ex or love back,any testimonies of most spell caster here must be ignore.because most of them are scam i mean real scam which i was a victim and i got ripped of thousands of dollars because i was so anxious to get my wife back after she left me for over 2 years with my 7 years old son jerry,i have applied to 7 different spell caster here and all to no avail they all ask for same thing send your name your ex name address and picture phone number etc which i did over and over again and most of them were from west Africa until i saw a post about mama Anita spell and i decided to gave her my last trail.she ask me four things my real name,my ex and my ex mother name and $180 and said my ex will come back in 24hours, i have paid over $3000 on spell casting and courier and nothing have work for me after 3 days i was thinking about how much i have lost so far so i said let me give her a try so i called her again and send my real name,my ex and my ex mother name and the $180 because i swear it was my last try so i was waiting as she told me to wait till next day and i could not sleep that night because i really love my wife and want her back at 9pm that day i saw my wife on line on face book and she said hi at first i was shock because she never talk with me for the past a year and 9 month now i did not reply again she said are you there? i quickly reply yes and she said can we see tomorrow i said yes and she went off-line i was confused i try to chat her again but she was no more on line i could not sleep that night as i was wondering what she is going to say, by 7.am the next morning she gave me a miss call i decided not to call back as i was still on shock again she call and i pick she said can we see after work today i said yes so she end the call immediately i got off work she call me and we meet and now we are back again i call mama anita the next day thanking her for what she has done in fact i still call her and thank her as my life was not complete without my wife please be careful here i have been scam thousands of dollars if you want a true love spell then contact mama Anita (mama.anitatruelovespell@gmail.com)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Good Day,,, Mr name is Mrs Victoria Cole, Am from Florida, I had a serious quarrel with my husband due to my parent, my parent never like him to be my husband, but i love him so much that i will rather die to let him go off me, that was how i met this great man of voodoo online, he told me that everything will be fine that he can do a spell that will make my parent love him and allow me to marry him without any quarrel thoroughly it came to pass my mum and dad love him most than before we are now happy married family,please help me in thanking him for his help, here is the email esangopriest@gmail.com

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