Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Ask a sociopath: high-functioning

This blog has been a good outlet for me -- in the past couple years that I have been writing it, I have had a more stable life. I've answered questions and had questions answered, I've seduced and been seduced, I've lived vicariously through you and you through me. It's been a very unique experience -- fascinating to see the breadth and depth of humanity and to be forced to contribute regularly to that type of dialogue, particularly since I would never do so otherwise (I get very bored with purely philosophical discussions). Anyway, I thought I would share just a few recent questions and answers.

I asked a socio reader what it was like to be in a relationship with another sociopath: "What we were able to share was more than manipulation and sexual mind games. It was a simultaneous hollow connection that would eventually come to an end due to lack of further interest, or one of us ultimately winning."

One socio reader who describes herself as low-functioning but high-functioning enough to recognize it asked me, "How is my perspective interesting to you?" I answered:
I think everyone that has their feet in two different worlds (e.g. you being both high/low functioning) is interesting. For instance I am interested in someone who is transgendered, or black but light enough to pass for white, or poor but very educated. They are about the only people I trust to speak honestly about their own circumstances because they have a rare objectivity about what it really means to be a certain gender, or a certain race, or a certain social class. It's an objectivity about one's own personal circumstances that I think I lack in a lot of ways.
Another question, "How functional are you? like in maintaining an image?"
I'm single, so do poorly at relationships, but haven't really wanted to be in a committed relationship yet either (not enough). I've never been to prison, but have been "officially disciplined" several times, discharged from my employment a couple times, progressed from career path to career path while still managing to "climb" rather than slide in terms of prestige and money. Right now I have a relatively stable life in which I basically do what I want within reason in a field where micromanaging is frowned upon as stifling of creativity.
"Have you ever been this low in your life?"
No, but yes in some ways. I have made mistakes before and had my bad actions revealed to everyone that mattered, lost my good reputation and had to start over from scratch. Does that count?
"How did you manage to change yourself?"
I had a problem with self-deception, believing my own lies, which got me into trouble because I was blinded to the real risks inherent in my actions. Recognizing self-deception as being the root of my problems, I went on a dishonesty fast for about a year until I could trust myself to lie to others while still maintaining a knowledge of the truth for myself. Sometimes I fear that I have again strayed too far into self-deception, but I don't have the luxury of another complete fast from being dishonest at my current stage in life. Instead, I try to be as honest as I can and only lie if it is necessary.

193 comments:

  1. You're the first to comment dude, not the first to read.

    Everything that M.E. says is relatable.

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    1. He does not specify, *bro.*

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  2. This site must be a form of being out and it must be compeling to the regulars to not always hide and be able to get feedback from others that go through similar experiences. But do most of you have someone in your life that you are out to that is not a sociopath and what is the beniifits of that relationship?
    If not is that something you feel you would benifit from?

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    1. The only person I have yet to trust with this bit of information responded with this:

      Backstory:[our friendship took a nasty turn during the summer when she was easily manipulated and I was enjoying the manipulating too much to keep a grip on it, and was eventually so annoied with her not catching on that I snapped at her calmly and asked her why she never did anything about it. It turns out she was so much an empath that she had yet to notice even once when she had been manipulated]

      "I thought we could be friends. I thought that we could rebuild from this summer. Now, I can see that I can't really trust anything you say or do, and we can never truly be friends."

      Ironically, this relationship was the last thing for me that I held on to, my last thought that maybe I could force away my sociopathic tendancies and at least manipulate and convince myself and the world that I was an empath enough to act like one. Now, I see no reason to do so. So, if I ever were to contact this person again, I'd have to say "thank you [something I don't say often]."

      __________________________________

      _L_

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  3. @this i know

    Although I’m not a fan of the ‘out of the closet’ verbiage and I don’t claim the sociopath label, I did speak frankly with a very close friend about what it is really like inside my head a few months ago. She told me that it was a big ‘aha’ moment for her as certain anomalies about me finally made sense. She also cried. They were not tears of joy either. I asked her about the tears but she dodged the question and I left it alone. She said my revelation made her question everything about our friendship. I assured her that I cared about her, as much as I could anyway. She wondered if our friendship had all been a lie. I told her it hadn’t and that was the truth. She wondered if I had used her as a beard. I told her that I hadn’t. There was no reason to do that when I met her or now. I think she is back to believing in me.

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  4. I have a empathetic girlfriend. I would never date a sociopath again. I don't know how you girls do it, and look back with nostalgia. We literally almost killed each other. I had another sociopath as a fuck buddy. Its weird dating a sociopath. Its like trying to be homosexual when your hetrosexual. It doesn't work at all. I naturally act in a relationship. I'm great at it, and I know all the right things to do and say. Try it with another sociopath and they just laugh at you. You really just have to be the fucked up person you really are. Its really a stalemate and all there is to do is have sex is the most demented ways or in one case try to plot each others death.
    There's nothing worse for a sociopath than believing their own bullshit. This is what really sets them apart from each other. The ability to decipher reality from fantasy. I ran into a pathological liar once. This guy was fantastic. He had the greatest lies. He told me he was busted by the special operations group for jet skiing drunk through a military dam. He was giving a special dui that you could only get if you were a foreign spy and intoxicated. He said his girlfriend was a stripper and the hottest girl I know. He said he was a rock star with connection in the state, and had a mansion.
    I went to his 'mansion', which was smaller than my house. His car was not registered to him. Some drunk guy half asleep on the couch grumbled at the new visitors. His 'girlfriend' was the ugliest bird I've seen in a while. She had oversized tits that sagged like GRKs grannys and her nose was gigantic. She was no stripper. She told me she met him on the internet a week ago. It turned out from the drunk guy he moved in two weeks ago, and his friend he had with him also only knew him a week.
    The funny thing was after I uncovered it all he still believed it all. He could not face reality.

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  5. I believe thier are empaths like UKan's girlfriend that will except the truth, maybe in steps but have enough self strength to see what value even if it's opposite ends of the spectrum.

    I want to know if this is of value to have someone like this in your life.

    You obviouse have value to them.

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  6. My husband and best friend occasionally say, "That's because you are a psychopath." And my mom calls me a cyborg, but that isn't anything that is discussed in depth. My husband and I had one talk about it (he initiated), but I don't think he really understood what he was saying, so all is well. Besides, I'm not anything as I don't have a diagnosis. :)

    Its weird dating a sociopath... Its really a stalemate

    Agreed. It was actually kind of boring in the end.

    I ran into a pathological liar once.
    One of my students was one! I'd never seen anything like it. It wasn't just the volume of lies, or the way she moved from one to another like hopscotch, but they were gigantic and completely unbelievable. It was so funny!

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  7. Its of great value. She shows me how much is missing and where I need to tighten up the show. Everyone accepts sociopaths, despite all the things they do to people. I do most things to people simply because I'm careless about what they have to go through.
    In the two years I've dated her I have changed more than in my lifetime. I am twice as strong. I have a whole new look. I even went out and bought a bunch of italian suits instead of the urban wear I usually dress in (you were right, hip hop music does play in the backround). I have been meeting all these legitimate contacts that would have called the police on me last year. Now they love me.

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  8. I admire your girlfriend Ukan and that you have created a truely solid relationship with her.
    It speaks a great deal about your intellect and your abilities asa leader.

    I'm sure that it's fun to manipulate people and mess with them but if you destroy every person or use up thier humanity you end up alone.
    (This was not to UKan Daniel or Pythias)

    I think you have something that is rare from the other's on here and it shows, so there will be jealousy that and a need for them to tear it down.

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  9. It’s funny Pythias, but I think my friend is kind of in the same boat as you say your husband is. I told my friend for instance, that I don’t have a functioning conscience. She is driven by hers (her exact words), so I don’t think she really gets what I mean when I say that guilt never plays a factor in any of my decisions, that it literally can’t. I make more honest statements about what I think now and she responds by kind of brushing over them or agreeing, only not really.

    this i know, I don’t know if I have found any value in being honest with my friend. I do not feel happier or lighter. Lies do not weigh heavily on me. They don’t weigh anything at all, so I can’t say that honesty feels better than lies. I might feel differently if I were in a romantic relationship with someone who is an empath.

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  10. Daniel, she's still there.
    To me that says alot. Not being controled by guilt and doing things that are considered fair or not for selfish gain is much more of an accomplishment really then to the ones it comes naturally to and an honor.

    We all have our place on this earth but know one is going o find it out if we have to put on a mask or a show and never be ourself.

    Pythias, I have worked with someone for almost 8 years and she is a constant liar. No one believes a word she says either and it would be intertaining if she didn't have to create drama all the time at other's expence. Now that everyone knows she is just a big joke.

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  11. Pythias, UKan and Daniel, I think the working relationships you have mentioned are golden.

    I have this same sort of understanding with my socio. Even though we have been mostly physically separated for 15 months, we are still in contact several times a week and still have deep feelings for each other.

    It's a challenge. Sure, there are some downsides to being in a close relationship with a socio, but there are upsides, too. It's not your run of the mill vanilla relationship for sure, but I'm the kind of person who is not satisfied with vanilla.

    I believe that socios can be relationship worthy and if they are, then they deserve someone caring in their lives as much as anyone else does.

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  12. I generally fail in relationships for two reasons -

    1) I am aloof and indifferent.If my partner is having a rough patch it's up to her to fix it.I might even add to the pile and mock her.

    2) I DESPISE intimacy,i hate being dependent on anyone.Leaching off someone for money is okay.But being emotionally dependent on someone is a sign of weakness.

    This is GRK i am going by "GM" from here on in.

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  13. And on that note.Why would any sociopath want to be in a relationship with another one? That's really dumb.

    A sociopath doesn't want confrontation.We are bullies we don't want people calling us out for every little thing.The best thing a sociopath can do is find a nice little co-dependent who will submit to you're will.

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  14. Okay, "GM", but the conversation at hand is about adult relationships and since you are only 17, it's hardly the same thing.

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  15. It was a bad joke i am actually 20.

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  16. The fact that you think that you at 20 is that much closer to the adult relationships being discussed than 17 is, is the worst joke.

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  17. Some young adults are capable of serious relationships.

    GM, what is the duration of your longest relationship?

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  18. Longest relationship i had was two months.I got bored of her and cheated one night at a club.I got this half decent one to blow me and i recorded it on my phone.

    I'd rather be single though and have lots of one night stands (:

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  19. As long as he's being civilized, there will be times when you need an allie or at least someone that gives a shit.

    Burn all your bridges and you'll end up burning yourself as well.

    People will catch on to you and turn on you if you keep thinking your all you need.
    Some will take great pleasure in destroying you first.

    The fact that your hear means you need to be social without holding back just remember no one is going to hold back either.

    You'll get what you give here.

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  20. Well duh that's generally how the world works you know the saying.

    "Smile and the world smiles with you" Or something like that.

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  21. Being single and having lots of one night stands is appropriate for a lots of young men. Twenty is a good age to be doing that.

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  22. I don't believe in karma either ill explain how karma works -

    If you're a prick in general or a thrill seeker you are going to find yourself in way more dangerous situations than you're average law abiding citizen and therefore the odds of something bad happening you are pretty good.I think this is why a fair amount of sociopaths die violent deaths.

    When it happens idiots turn around and call it "karma"

    Ive been stabbed with a screwdriver and knocked out a good few times anyone who is blinded by their narcissism will have the same outcomes.

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  23. Occasionally I will find someone who I think will accept that I am a sociopath and so I tell them, but I have found they all deny it and pretend it isn't true. I guess believing I am just a little depressed and bad at relationships is easier...
    I have an Identical twin sister (she is an empath) and I have explained it to her a few times and while she accepts it, she almost lets herself forget and often tries to use it to hurt me in arguments.
    As far as dating another sociopath... been there done that and hated every minute of it. I was bored, annoyed that my manipulations didn't work, and constantly in a bad mood. Empaths are so easy to date and then when one stumbles upon the truth or I slip up in a lie and get caught usually I can convince them that it wasn't me. One guy I date (on and off again) knows that I am a sociopath, he's seen me at my most honest and conniving and yet he pretends it didn't happen and has the ability to forget and just enjoy the act.

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  24. Ive never told anyone i am a sociopath in person.The person who you reveal it to probably won't tell you anything again and if you really were a sociopath you'd have a "Bad" reputation already.

    And what would be the need to tell anyone? For what? I just think it's dis-tasteful explaining to someone how you're a sociopath.If you're a sociopath you're character will reveal itself.

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  25. If you have let someone know that you are or have tryed to and their still in your life would you prefer that they ask you about it, like when they don't understand or just keep playing the game.

    Would you perfer to share imformation and ask your own questions?

    GM, probly be distastful if your being a total prick anyway.

    Sweet Saline,
    What do you think about the fact that they pertend that your not or pretend it isn't true?
    Do you wish you could talk more about it to them?

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  26. Dont tell anyone. Its a mistake. There's no point. You will shatter everything they believed in you.
    You know what's funny is how much the world of psychology has love for every mental disorder, but psychopathy. I wanted to get one of those self help books tailored for certain people for my new venture into the business world and legality. You can find one for everyone, but psychopaths. In the psychopathy section it's just like a big skull and crossbones. WARNING: DO NOT TALK TO PSYCHOPATHS. Do not hire them, do not date them, do not engage them in any manner. One book said the minute you speak to one you have already lost.
    Best thing to do is continue what we have done through out history. Stay hidden.

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  27. Ahaha i found out who to identify one of you fuckers why do ur hair grow so fast? then why they smirk and tell you to fuck off instead of smiling like a nother person BINGO

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  28. Ahaha i found out who to identify one of you fuckers why do ur hair grow so fast? then why they smirk and tell you to fuck off instead of smiling like a nother person BINGO

    what is this i don't even

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  29. 'I think everyone that has their feet in two different worlds (e.g. you being both high/low functioning) is interesting. For instance I am interested in someone who is transgendered, or black but light enough to pass for white, or poor but very educated. They are about the only people I trust to speak honestly about their own circumstances because they have a rare objectivity about what it really means to be a certain gender, or a certain race, or a certain social class. It's an objectivity about one's own personal circumstances that I think I lack in a lot of ways.'

    I relate to this a lot M.E. I grew up between two very different ethinic cultures, one at home and one outside my home. At a young age this dissonance made me very conscious about 'identity' and how to define it for oneself. I matured and realised I belong no where really, mainly just inside my own head.

    Any patriotism i felt was to the other side from where I actually lived, and parochialism bores me to tears. My eye is simultaneously turned into the core of myself as well as to a wider picture, but nowhere really in between. If that makes sense.

    There are many ways to feel like you're never quite at home where you are, whether the reason is culture or personality. When you have both it creates a very intricate situation. So you just rely on yourself more than ever before, while the world looks on and deems you a loose canon, or simply, impressionable. Little do they know.

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  30. Danm just when I thought we were talking in our big boy's and girl's voices they let the kid's stay home from school and play with the computer.

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  31. For GRK http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwxIA7JVf64

    Word verification - joker

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  32. lol Post. You make me chuckle.

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  33. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  34. why do people think ted bundy is sexy? he really isn't all that.

    The Unknown/GRK, you are far hotter i'm sure. ;)

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  35. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  36. THE WEASEL MESSENGER ASSANGE IS OUT!!! THE SOCIOPATHS HAVE FAILED ONCE AGAIN!!! HA-HA-HA :D

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  37. beware of those who tend to type in capslock. something is usually amiss.

    glad to hear assange was released, though.

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  38. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? CAPLS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL, D00D.

    Ow... that hurt my heart.

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  39. I think I might be a sociopath. I am a cop, but I got a dark side. I don't care what it takes to get the job done.
    I slept with some of my informants. One of them I really brainwashed. She took risk after risk for me. I knew she was going to fall one day, but I would always think, "It wasn't going to be today she has a few more in her."
    One day it happened. She got murdered in a terrible way. There was blood everywhere. I ended up confiscating her children. One I threw into a foster home because he wasnt impressionable enough. The other I kept.
    That stupid bitch didn't know what she had. I only had some squealing cunt daughter that cried about everything. Now I have a weapon. If only he will stick to the code.

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  40. @this i know
    i'm out to a couple of people. the benefit is partly the same as talking here - it's nice to occasionally be honest with your opinions instead of tempering them to be at least semi-acceptable for mass consumption. i watched 3 guys 1 hammer with one; i wanted to see what a 'normal' reaction was. her reaction was as much to me as to the video, due to my lack of reaction except a chuckle when one guy poked at the victim's mashed up nose. i think only then did she realise that she actually hadn't understand quite how cold i was on the inside. she's got some aspie tendencies.

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  41. @notme
    a highfuctioning socio without a moral code gets away with it. someone with BPD who isn't cold and calculating without a moral code acts impulsively and gets caught. that's what happened to my BPD. you been in trouble with the law?

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  42. @harry
    though i detest authority, i can see how the job would be enjoyable for a sociopath. i am sure there are more cop socios than in most careers because you get power, and you don't have to be very bright to be a cop so it appeals to a broader range. kinda sucks that you lost one tool to gain another one that is now financially dependent on you though.

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  43. Well I've just read a children's novel here. It appears teenagers are wondering why their relationships don't last forever.

    On a fruitful note, I really don't believe in separation of high-functioning and low-functioning. Every high-functioning has had their low-functioning moment. Those that can't help themselves are food and you know it.

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  44. Res Cogitans

    Yeah, I'm not cold and calculating at all, quite the opposite.
    'trouble with the law' - um, not so much, unless you count the police being called over cos i've been causing a 'disturbance' a couple of times. Fights or just drunken 'revelry' etc. I use the police as an escape route on occasion. I'm always the 'victim.'


    I've stolen some things even when I had money.
    I'm pretty nifty at shoplifting small things. It was a short phase I went through. Never got caught.

    Personally, I can call the police in a heartbeat, I've done it to my dad just cos he wanted to talk to me and I couldn't stand it. It was a threat, and it worked. My gran hated me for it and hasn't spoken to me since. She usually thinks I'm an angel, so that was upsetting.

    If i feel even slightly threatened, I will react. Beware. ;)

    But, yeah, no real trouble with the law, I just rope the law in when shit hits the fan.

    I wouldn't put it past me to get in a mess with them though, i'm a little capable of impulsivity, just not significantly of a criminal nature. I usually stop myself/find a solution before things get that bad.

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  45. @anon 12.59
    i'm left unsure if you are serious or are just another of ukan's multiple personalities. i hope you are serious :)

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  46. Harry, somehow I think little D will do just fine sticking to the code. You'll always be there to haunt his ass when he strays.

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  47. @ rescogitans

    i am totally serious, and no i am not one of ukan's multiple personalities. multiple personalities are for the weak.

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  48. yeah, i've had a run-in with an officer. they aren't all lovey-dovey that's for sure. One officer who got called round my mums house after I got into a fight with her decided to give me some 'life advice.' lol, I gave him a hard stare and said 'are you patronising me?' lol. the other officer stepped in.

    actually, when they drove me away they did give me some advice in the car. that was a weird day.
    I actually love the police, they've gotten me out of some sticky situations. You all hate them, but sometimes I need them. :)
    I always smile at them when I see them. I get all tingly. hehe.

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  49. I think UKan is trolling us.

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  50. "though i detest authority, i can see how the job would be enjoyable for a sociopath. i am sure there are more cop socios than in most careers because you get power, and you don't have to be very bright to be a cop so it appeals to a broader range. kinda sucks that you lost one tool to gain another one that is now financially dependent on you though."

    Anon, your dumb.

    PMS

    That actually him?

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  51. I sure will haunt him. I will imprint myself into his mind so much that generations after I'm gone I will have left my name in the whispers ofmy code on their lips.

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  52. Ha ha ha he looks like a total goofball.

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  53. LOL! He has got acne. (:

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  54. He's just a skanger. Bit hilarious, really.

    Also, Manchester United? Really?

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  55. "Harry" is full of shit, for so many reasons, lol.

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  56. i don't mind the police, and thought about joining up at one point. so far as they know i'm a model citizen so they have always been good to me. though the last time one spoke to me was when he pulled me over (speeding along a bus lane) and the first thing he said was "what the fuck was that!?" lol i stifled a chuckle and acted all meek and apologetic and got let off. it helped that i pulled off the main road towards a dodgy estate that a cop had been shot at the previous evening... he didn't wanna stick around to write me a ticket :)
    i think maybe you like an authority figure in uniform :p

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  57. Post, where did you get that picture and how do you know it's him?

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  58. GRK is a Ginger, lol. That explains everything...A punk-ass Ginger with draining acne.

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  59. All will be revealed in good time, my dear. He posted his face next to a picture of Ted Bundy, and if you saw that, you could compare. If you don't believe it, I have more than enough to prove it beyond a shadow of doubt, though.

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  60. 'i think maybe you like an authority figure in uniform :p'

    Yes. indeedio.

    Post, that's just what UKan said a couple days ago.
    all will be revealed...

    you guys are such teasers. :)

    right, shower time. exciting my life is.

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  61. Well, to be fair, that last one could be his mother.

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  62. I'm not a troll, for some reasons of my own and some I don't understand I've gotten really involved with you all and want to understand what goes on inside you.

    Strikes me that it has to be lonely or isolating to keep yourselves hidden when it's just the way you are.

    I don't like anyone to hurt espeially
    phycically. And when you all talk about the way you see things and the things you've done and why for some reason it seems to give an outlet for anger.

    I see you (caring) about what happens, the effects of what you do have on others and yourself more and more (it's very human like) xoxo

    Ukan amazes me and so does ME with the growth and insight.

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  63. GRK?
    And plays the Pet Society Ap?

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  64. anyone tried oxytocin?
    might be an interesting experiment for a socio. any volunteers to try and report back, lol?

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  65. 'Fraid not, Anon. He does have a Bebo, though.

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  66. I did see some others on bebo that might be him.
    Please show us some more, Post.

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  67. Is that his sister whos to ugly to walk down the street with?

    Whats wrong with this picture?

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  68. I just confirmed that I am three months pregnant. The father is an ex, an empath, and an utter loser. At first I figured I'd get it vacuumed out, but the dad's also Christian and rich and he's offering me shit-loads of financial support. Anyway, why not keep it?
    Do any of you have kids? I'm hoping it's not an empath so I can at least respect it and give it a code to live by. How do you go about this whole 'raising' thing?

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  69. Maybe some spiteful friend hacked him and is out to get him..

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  70. @This I Know -
    I guess I would say that I prefer that they pretend... I can still manipulate them if they don't see me as calculating. I find it a little pathetic when they keep pretending but I find most people a little pathetic. Maybe not so much my twin, I sometimes forget she is an empath since I expect her to be the same as me.
    As far as wishing I could talk to them about it... I don't think I have ever really wished for anything so I guess not. I don't really have anything I need to talk about and if I wanna say something I come here.

    my word verification : cumming

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  71. The word "code" has been greatly overrated and abused here. Please refrain from it's further use.

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  72. @SSS
    "...my twin, I sometimes forget she is an empath..."
    are you out to her?
    identical twin? i guess not but very interesting if so.
    any notable differences in your upbringings?

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  73. I'd rather someone used the word "code" than mis-used the word "it's"

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  74. My apologies.

    A good rule of thumb to check your own writing is to try to substitute the words “it is” every time you use “it’s." If the sentence makes sense, you’ve used it correctly. If the sentence does not make sense, reach for the possessive case and use instead “its.”

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  75. lol daddy'sdaddy that's even more pedantic than pomo :)

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  76. i think you meant to link to this for GRK?

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  77. Is that a photo of GRK's mother the prostitute, or GRK's mother the plastic surgeon?

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  78. It looks like every post GRK made from his blogger account for the past few days "has been removed by the author".

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  79. Let's hope he doesn't return.

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  80. lol. I don't know what's going on.

    You lot are funny.

    He was behaving himself today since we were ignoring him.

    but then, maybe that wouldn't have lasted.

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  81. Post isn't it a bit much to post his pictures,something terrible could happen him.You'd never know there are crazy like that. :/

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  82. So? I have his name, too.

    Also, learn to put spaces in your sentences, idgit.

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  83. "Post isn't it a bit much to post his pictures,something terrible could happen him.You'd never know there are crazy like that. :/"

    Who the fuck gives a shit anon!? I wouldn't piss on the little fucker if he were on fire. He lives in the UK, right? Mabye christmas will come early and he'll cross my path. (:

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  84. Lol what a tool,tries to troll us then shits his pants when you find him out.

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  85. Misanthrope: Ireland, actually. I'm going to keep narrowing it down until I'm satisfied. :D

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  86. Back in 20 minutes or so. I take payment in the form of begging, pleading, or cash.

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  87. "Misanthrope: Ireland, actually. I'm going to keep narrowing it down until I'm satisfied. :D"

    Too bad.

    You should post his name. He'd probably shit himself.

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  88. Oh, how I wish we had a "Like" button on here!

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  89. @Res-
    Yes she is my Identical Twin sister. Not one difference in our upbringing... unless you consider my rape. Our father is a heroin addict and she's always cried about it but I never did, and by the time I was raped (not by my father) I was already displaying signs of sociopathy (12 years old).
    My sister does know that I am a sociopath, but she either forgets or has done a really good job of being in denial. The only time she brings it up is if I have pissed her off and I pretend to cry for forgiveness ... She'll sometimes yell for me to stop with the whole sweet saline stained act.

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  90. Northern Dublin, if my knowledge of Irish slang isn't too out of date. Near the Liffey.

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  91. His name's really Glenn. Not Glenn Mitchell, though.

    Where have you gone, Glengarry Glennross?

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  92. just out of curiosity, what is your relationship like with your sister?

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  93. Maybe he can change his name and have his plastic surgeon mom change his face.

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  94. Pms got the biggest psychopath award

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  95. Pms got the biggest psychopath award

    *Like

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  96. My “best” friend yesterday broker her neck in 2 places and fractured her skull. I was told this morning by my mother and before I was sure she was ok, in the back of my head i wanted her to be dead. I don’t want her dead it was more about a curiosity of whether or not I would feel anything. She is ok.

    Later I was talking to my brother-in-law about it and he was surprised someone told me because they had agreed to not tell me because they did not want me worrying until after finals.

    I found/find it hard to see how any one would worry about someone who is in this condition but not going to die and no chance of a coma or paralysis. Does anyone have an explanation of how people feel in this situation and how should I act towards this person when I see her? Should I ignore it because she probably get sympathy all the time and doesn’t want to talk about it or should I be like “ are you ok , can I get you anything“?

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  97. I left my mask on the way out has anyone seen it?

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  98. How's that sister of yours, Glenn? Georgia, is it?

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  99. Sam, you know your friend and what she likes in the way of a fuss. Part of the art of being a sociopath is to read and know those around you. That's not something any of us could advise you on. It would be speculation.

    This place is getting like an advice column for newbies.

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  100. I watched Capitalism: A Love Story last night.

    It made me decide once and for all that Michael Moore is a manipulative uneducated douchebag.

    That is all.

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  101. I left my mask on the way out has anyone seen it?

    Sorry, it was broken and put in the trash.

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  102. Medusa: The neckbeard didn't give it away for you?

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  103. he's still here. i know i ask a lot of questions, but the one at 4:33 is completely graceless and not compelled by genuine curiosity.

    i keep asking them because i'm trying to figure out if i'm a sociopath or not.

    i wonder a lot about "coming out of the closet." i asked this question earlier before This I Know did. i wonder if it would ease some of the problems, or just make them worse, being out.

    i don't know if i'm socio or not. i suspect i could be diagnosed as one, but not all that's discussed here fits me. i feel enough of a "fit," though, that at least internally i sometimes apply the word to myself. i know that i'm "wired" differently from most people and that i have a difficult time making sense of much of what the general population does (or doesn't do.)

    i'm still trying to sort through social rules; i don't make intuitive sense of them the way most do. it seems that what will apply in one situation won't in another, or may even get you in a good deal of trouble. the end result: even when i'm attempting to follow whatever the apparent norm is for any given situation, i fail. i suppose that makes me low functioning. i'm not sure how much that matters to me.

    i really suspect that just about any pd diagnostic category could be applied to me. i self-injure (any negative comments around this will be blithely ignored.) so likely i'd be diagnosed as bpd. i don't generally do this from a fear of abandonment, though. i just don't identify or understand emotions well--i find them confusing. self-injury is a way of making concrete something i find completely nebulous and difficult to understand.

    when i'm tested (mmpi,) i usually end up with a ptsd dx. however, i have a degree in pscyh and so i know a little too much about diagnostic categories to give objective test answers. i don't stay in therapy long--it makes little sense to me. if i were "only" ptsd, i would have responded well to therapy, but i don't.

    everyone has shared something of his/her life that might not be shared with the public, and i feel a benefit from that--i feel less freakish. i felt a need to do the same.

    i have no idea where the conversation is now, most likely it's completely irrelevant by now, people have moved on. but i still felt i wanted to do this anyway.

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  104. Post, did you scare poor little GRK off?

    swoon.

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  105. I guess my main question is....why do people worry about people with non life threatening injuries?

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  106. @Pythias: Seems so. I haven't even gotten to the juicy bits, yet. And I still have so many pictures of our little friend to show off.

    Oh, well. Running away won't protect him. Only supplication can stop me, now. :D

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  107. Sam, usually there is no worry after you find that their life isn't in danger. You can be sympathetic about their discomfort. That's a nice gesture. You can even be grateful that the injury or illness isn't worse. Both of those are nice, normal gestures.

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  108. Since people are talking about relationships with empaths...

    My closest friend is empathic if a little sadistic. I never had to tell her I was a sociopath, she told me. She put a name to it before I ever realized I was anything other than smarter or more logical than other kids. Now more than a decade later we're eachother's closest allies because like someone else said, if you isolate yourself you make yourself vulnerable. Creating that barrier of protective contacts means a lot when it comes to self defense or defending your image.

    I've mentioned I'm emotionless to a few people and even used the word sociopath here and there - more out of curiosity about how they'd respond than anything. In most cases the person brushes it off with something like, "but you're a nice guy." but in a few cases the person has been interested more than anything. I don't generally mistreat people in my inner circle and if anything people see me as extra honest or straight-forward.

    I was briefly fascinated by the idea of dating another sociopath but honestly reading a comment by UKan put it into perspective when he said something like, "...and that's when I realized I didn't want to date myself." Complimentary personalities seem to make stronger matches (like my empathic friend and me).

    I don't know that this place is a relief or an outlet for me. Mostly I'm just curious and also amused reading what self-identifying socios think or want to broadcast that they think. The idea of anxiety doesn't register with me so the idea of relief from it is a bit foreign.

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  109. Isn't that question a litttle strange to ask sociopaths?

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  110. I just bought a whole liquor cabinet of alchohol

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  111. I think little Glenn is back, fucking around.

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  112. Party at UKan's! Roll me one of those funky ciggs too. I need it.

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  113. I think Charlie is a great name for a dog.

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  114. Seriously! Thanks for the idea and direction, Post.

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  115. Sam,

    Just tell her that you are there for her and if she needs something she can tell you. Bring her flowers and maybe some good food. If she needs anything else from you she will have to ask. Or her family can ask you to help in some way. Just put yourself out there. Does that require much feeling..not really. She is being inconvenienced right now..you can be a little too. That's really what they want..is your attention..so big deal.

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  116. Yep, Charlie was a pretty cute puppy.

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  117. What's with the puppy..and what do you mean by was?

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  118. Grace: GRK is unmasked. Charlie is his dog.

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  119. Our resourceful Postmodern Sociopath has found out all about GRK, including pictures of his puppy, Charlie, as linked above. This picture is old and so Charlie is no longer a puppy.

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  120. GM said...
    I'd rather be single though and have lots of one night stands (:

    Misanthrope said...
    He lives in the UK, right? Mabye christmas will come early and he'll cross my path. (:


    Hmmmm

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  121. I'm reading this book: Snakes in Suits. If you are a sociopath you will laugh all the way through. They got us pegged. Robert Hare fuck you. Stop telling people how we get down.

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  122. Snakes in Italian suits?

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  123. Snakes; not just for serving fruit anymore.

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  124. I enjoyed "Snakes In Suits" myself Ukan.

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  125. Never read it I'll pick it up when I'm out :P

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  126. Might have to find a copy while I'm out Christmas shopping.

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  127. if boas were worn as neckties more often, it might make for a more appealing wardrobe overall... just a thought.

    i wonder if this is the source of the reptilian conspiracy theory, snakes in suits. those theories all have to come from somewhere. for some reason, i think it's an especially fun one.

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  128. Helen Blatvasky, in the 1880's wrote that Lemuria was occupied by a race who were 7 feet tall, sexually hermaphroditic, egg-laying beings.

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  129. don't worry. i'm reality-based... in a sense. i don't believe in conspiracy theories, i just find them fascinating. how do they develop?

    i won't start hallucinating and lose it on this blog. not any time soon, anyway.

    -another anon

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  130. i didn't see your comment, psychophant. there's truth in it, then. most socio's and pd's are hermaphroditic--gender fluid or have had sexual partners of both genders. and if not seven feet tall, often it can be essential to behave as if one is.

    it's interesting. :)

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  131. I think the art of sociopathy lies in making others believe you're larger than life.~

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  132. possibly so. i'm a tiny, tiny woman, but i can put some unease in people when i want... and sometimes when i don't.

    that's the hard part... the "when i'm not even trying" thing.

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  133. hey psychophant is that like elephant.....are you an elephant???

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  134. I'm not religious but if I was going to be I would join the payote church...

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  135. I have convinced many people that I am Psycho....I mean Psychic

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  136. no, i think she's hot.

    peyote is not something i've tried, but mushrooms are. i thought it was a beautiful high, oddly non-addictive. unlike acid, i found i could choose where i wanted to be with it to a certain extent--this space or that, pleasant and floating or deep under water.

    acid just grabs you by the collar, yanks hard and says, "c'mon, you, you're just along for the ride... i'm in command now." it's a little like a socio, lol. it's fun in a way, but you're not given much of a choice.

    usually that was the case with mushrooms anyway: that i felt i had a choice as to where i wanted to go with it. i only had one "bad" high on them--i felt that i was descending into pure id and would completely lose whatever control i had. i was sure i'd wreak havoc, but you really get pretty peaceful on hallucinogens. it was a strange sort of double-bind.

    but really, to say it was a "bad" trip is a value judgement, and it was interesting, too.

    i don't think i'd do them now--but i don't regret having tried them.

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  137. Some will understand my screen name. Some may not. I couldn't care less. It's for my amusement.

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  138. Pythias, that was even cuter than Charlie.

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  139. Which is the best book on sociopaths?

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  140. Thanks, Psychophant.

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  141. Another good read for sociopath/borderpath,BPD,etc: Evil Genes (Why Rome Fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed, and My Sister STile My Mother's Boyfriend) by Barbara Oakley. Has anyone else read it?

    -Jayne

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  142. i missed the elephant sneeze, i was too busy babbling. (i'm glad i saw it now, though. :)

    sorry to babble. i just like it here. i don't care what anyone makes of that. :D

    goodnight.

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  143. ps: sweet dreams everyone. :)

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  144. @Aerianne/Psychophant: Yes, yes, and yes. That is all. :D

    Question about the book, Snakes in Suits. Is it another one of those Crusader style anti-psycho books? And if so, is there anything within actually useful?

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  145. Note, are you agreeing with me on something or stating your approval about something?

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  146. The latter.

    Also, I have a pretty good idea why posts are disappearing. Someone was saying they lost their comment over at my blog. I had a few sitting in the spam section. It's possible that your posts were flagged as spam, and only recovered after ME briefly read them to make sure they weren't.

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  147. Note, it's guys like you who made me the Psychophant I am today~

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  148. Is that you all dolled up, or is that your normal gorgeous self? :)

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  149. Note, the answer to that question would be: Both and Neither.

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  150. Oh really? :)

    By the way, bravo on the datamining, and bravo to the poster, "Harry". Both very entertaining. Poor Dex :P

    Sort of reminds me of that one Kevin Smith movie where Jay and Silent Bob get that list of internet commenters and go door to door kicking their ass. Only, an ass kicking might be the least of GRK's worries. And no, I'm not hinting at physical violence. Just think about it.

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  151. I watched a couple of Jay and Silent Bob movies with my socio but I must have missed that one.

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  152. If I recall, it was at the end of the movie. I don't know if it was a Jay and Silent Bob movie, but they were in it at least.

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  153. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, when they get all the money from the movie-within-a-movie.

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  154. All I remember of those movies was a mall.

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  155. Mallrats was the best of Kevin Smith. I've enjoyed all his movies to some degree, but that was the one that I really loved first.

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  156. It's a tie between Mallrats and Dogma for me. Well... Clerks was great, too. Shit.

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  157. I'm going to go with Clerks. Mall Rats and Dogma were amazing, but virtually everything about Clerks was good (for me).

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  158. I loved Clerks, even if it came out when I was 8... Recently though I laughed my ass off through Zack and Miri.

    @anon from forever ago - Other than the boyfriends of hers that I have slept with, I don't think there is much out of the ordinary with our relationship. We do a lot of the strange twin things like today when I showed up to get my hair cut on a whim she left work early and arrived about 10 min's after me for the same thing.

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  159. I hope we can get back to having insightful/fruitful discussions in the next post. :)

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  160. I miss my comrades. Fuck all of you who say they wont miss their friends. I miss mine. I wish you guys were here to see what I got going on the internet. One time. Our day will come brothers/

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  161. Are you drunk,UKan?.






    Word verification: blest

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  162. talking about books...
    i'd recommend "the fall" by camus. fantastic book.

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  163. Well, looks like glenn's fucked off. I get in fights fairly often and I enjoy it. I've been thinking about taking up boxing or martial arts, but I can't really bothered to do all that training. I've also been thinking about joining the army, because I want to get my hands on some serious fire power and get into gunfights, but I don't want to have to sit around in the barracks for days at a time, waiting to be deployed. Anyone here been in the military?

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  164. Re; Spam (=censorship?)
    It's possible that your posts were flagged as spam, and only recovered after ME briefly read them to make sure they weren't.

    Doesn't that also allow for M.E. to "choose" what comments should be allowed or not? If so what's the difference about this, from the insecure female moderator that Ukan was talking about at that NPD site? Was GRK spam flagged?

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  165. Gag, the website auto filters posts. Very few get sent to the spam box that aren't actually spam. If someone's post was sent there, they'll realize soon enough and be able to make their post more concise.

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  166. I believe that it's not possible, even for empaths like myself, to feel an emotional connection with every single person they meet. As an empathetic person, I find it difficult to turn people down who are more interested in me than I am in them. If I can't connect mentally and emotionally with someone I can't seem to connect with them sexually. Just wondering; do sociopaths experience a similar difficulty?

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    Replies
    1. what's an empathetic person? why is it linked to sociopaths? I feel exactly the same way about sex. Unless I've already established an emotional or mental connection with a man I feel nothing during sex it's like I don't even want to be there. but i'm going nuts cuz I always seem to do something wrong in relationships it's like I speak too much truth and people hate me for it? I don't know what to do, I'm so lost and confused.

      Delete
  167. M.E. is an interesting person, and the blog is wonderful blog, but
    how reflective is it of what a person who resides in a modern urban
    area is likely to encounter? M.E. resides in a rather pristine and
    protected city of Salt Lake in Utah. I reside in an eastern megalopis.
    I know full well that I must actively take measures to save guard my
    self protection when I go out and about. It is unlikely that M.E.
    would be physically afraid to frequent certain areas of her city.
    Being a woman poses certain dangers, but has M.E. ever faced down
    a "wolf park" of feral teens, been backed against an alley wall and had a
    knife placed against her throught, of faced the thousand and one
    things that can happen in a seedy urban enviornment?

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  168. Somehow I doubt that many socios gather in pairs, most likely one too many socio in that area. They are rumored to have "psycho-dar" and avoid each other. Not seeking any genuine company, not being able to "play the piano"..what´s in it for them? And few things seem to anger hollow folks more than others trying "get fresh" with them. A most unlikely gathering. Many of the "creepy duos" in criminal history seem to consist of just ONE psycho fuhrer..

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  169. I have a friend who im sure is a sociopath. He has been in trouble with the law since a child, is easily agitated, full of broken promises, very contradictory and secretive, and wont introduce me to other friends. He also was in a gang and has a gun and knife obsession. When he is sober he can be mean and he stonewalls and never takes blame for anything. However when he is high on coke he has told me how much i mean to him and he hates the way he treats me when he is sober and the wall goes up. My question is if you think he is being sincere or manipulative and lying when he is high? I just cant tell because he genuinely seems real then. But maybe i just want to believe he might care just a little. Your thoughts?

    ReplyDelete

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