Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Guest post: Troublemakers removing Blind Spots

I saw this video today, and thought it somewhat interesting. So often I feel that I'm trying to remove people's blind spots, and to liberate them from the bonds within their heads, clouded by emotion without a healthy dose of logic. Like the speaker, I really appreciate it when people remove my blind spots. It is so rare that it happens. I find that the few sociopaths I know in real life on a personal level (one of my uncles and a close friend) are usually the ones that do this.

82 comments:

  1. Its better to feed peoples delusions and keep them in the dark.

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  2. Some years ago I went through a phase of reading Pema Chodron.

    Her plainer truths met a deep hunger in me at the time for an enlarged definition of humanness, which I believe, is central to the Western appeal of many master Buddhists. Have you ever observed monks jousting philosophically on a mountaintop beneath a full moon? Oh my.

    But I digress. I too believe that there's value in having our shadow side shown to us, which to my mind, is often provoked by the unexpected dissolution of the self. Each of us has aspects of ourselves that we're loath to integrate into our identity, let alone acknowledge, especially when they jostle with how we wish to be seen by others.

    If we don't own them, and understand them, they own us – which makes us more vulnerable to manipulation and exploitation. Then there's the small matter of projecting them onto others, which often starts a crazed game of tag, dumping the darkness that's been dumped onto us.

    It would be wonderful if all our emotional wounds could be alchemised into strength - many of them can be. However I don't agree that an insulting spiritual friend is valuable *no matter what* his or her intention is. Not everyone rises, phoenix like, from the wreckage of their soul - what value is an insult when it breaks and withers a life?

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  3. "Not everyone rises, phoenix like, from the wreckage of their soul - what value is an insult when it breaks and withers a life?"

    That's their own fault for letting words break them beyond repair.

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  4. I would have to trust this person before I believe what they tell me about myself. Also they would have to walk the talk.

    My boss is my mentor at school. I value her opinion about me. She tells me...get your priorities straight and stop worrying about other people who don't really care for you. I hate looking at myself.


    I also like Pema Chodron.

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  5. Misanthrope took the words from my mouth! If you didn't care about a person you wouldn't want to help them.

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  6. I gain satisfaction by removing peoples blind spots, because I can make them see how flawed they really are. A harsh reality is more crushing than a cruel lie by far.

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  7. I am currently admiring this person, M.E.

    wv: dingle

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  8. TheNotablePath at 4:45am:

    Insults aren't only words - they're deeds too.

    Stripping away illusions is merciless if done with malice because it snuffs out people's flickering hopes.

    Grace at 5:09am:

    I don't trust anyone to define me because most people define in me in ways that have nothing to do with the core of who I am.

    But when negative emotions are triggered, I ask myself what I'm feeling and why, which can indeed lead me to discover my 'blind spots.'

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  9. Sometimes i can take a person in and treat them as an equal, it always goes horribly wrong in the end though, through alcohol or disagreement i usually end up severing the friendship in a violent fashion.

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  10. Some are fragile while others hard as nails,...really? Or just things for us to get attached to. All the same at the end of it all.

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  11. There was this guy i used to be friends with we were talking on xbox live once and he was from my area,luckily i never told him were i lived and he only knew my first name, i asked him to come come out with me for a drink one night, we got into a bar and it was pretty empty there was no single girls, i still wanted to stay there get drunk and see what happened from there, he told me he was going home right after getting there, i was furious after getting dressed and going all the way in there.

    I persuaded him to stay out, so we went looking for a lively place to drink, we couldn't find anywere, we had picked a bad night. He said he was leaving and told me goodbye, i told him he was an idiot for making me walk all the way out there, he stood his ground which annoyed me, i looked around, the place was completely empty, i walked up to him and said "excuse me?" he replied "your some friend not saying goodbye" i told him he better shut up before he gets knocked out, i then remembered, he took out his cellphone in the bar and it was a blackberry, the phone i wanted.

    I am much taller and i knew i was going to take him. I punched him right in the lip and he went down holding his face, i kicked him in the side of the head, and told him to give me his cellphone and the money for his cab home, he wouldn't at first so i grabbed him by the hair and gave him like five really hard slaps into the face, he start crying like a sissy and gave me both the phone and his ten dollars LOL

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  12. Lol! friend mugged ~ date rape

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  13. aaaaaand thats why i carry a knife

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  14. M.E.,

    What you describe is what I have been doing for perhaps the better part of my life.

    And yes, I am appreciative when people remove my blind spots.
    It used to anger me when they didn't, and you know, mostly they don't.

    At this time I have put this behind me. I will try and remove blind spots for a few select people, but they must show me in advance that this is what they want, that they WANT to learn, WANT to progress!

    But oh yes, I remember, I remember!...

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  15. Misanthrope:

    "Its better to feed peoples delusions and keep them in the dark."

    I must agree, absolutely.

    But like I mention above, there were years in my youth (very early teens) when I did what M.E. describes. And there've been occasional periods during my twenties where I would try again.

    It never worked... NEVER!!

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  16. Are you gagreflexes brother?

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  17. Explain this to me, why do most atheists look out for others, if they know they won't be punished in the afterlife?

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  18. Helping does not require kindness nor care. They should be grateful. It isnr a courtesy extended to most. A gift on awareness is one most prized. Friend or enemy given does not matter.

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  19. "Helping does not require kindness nor care"


    You are an idiot, of course it does.

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  20. Sea Witch @ 2:58am

    Beautifully stated, seeing one's shadow and integrating its gifts provides the ultimate power of self-mastery. Not a path for the weak, its a difficult challenge and the ultimate game. I soooo enjoy your brilliant posts.

    Adam @7:29
    At your stage in development, shedding and giving voice to your life experience is good. Secrecy can be a poison. Later on down the line when the magic starts to fade, and deep boredom arises, opportunities will arise in your life where you are shown your own vulnerability. And once you stop projecting it on others, no one can provoke. You truly become invincible. And its then you can use your unified "self" for more challenging and exciting adventures thus occupying the boredom. I suggest reading biographies of ruthless men through history. Especially one's who made an ultimate contribution to society. Kind of opens the mind to possibility. Education for a ruthless mind can move mountains.

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  21. You have come far young path

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  22. I am fairly open minded, it's nice to have a level of closed mindedness, you have to call out some people on their retarded ways of living at some point. I love that i don't self reflect, if i did I'd probably find something i didn't like, which is unacceptable.

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  23. What the fuck are soulful and witch going on about? Sounds like my daily horrorscope.
    Adam doesn't xbox live have your full name, as you need a credit card to use it?
    I don't remove peoples blind spots unless its on here. I want everyone around me to be vulnerable so if they turn on me I know where to strike.

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  24. What is everyones plan for the summer? BRING IT !!!

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  25. Adam irks me. All his stories are about as impressive as that time he spat in his aunts soup. Most people here say something intelligent from time to time but not him. Not to mention the fact he seems to spend most of his time seeking approval from the other more violent sociopaths here.

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  26. Nope, they can't see my full name, i have my settings on private and my gametag has nothing got to do with my name. What games do you play UKan?

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  27. Not really, I'm just boasting.

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  28. UKan @8:47am
    Your horoscope reads: You have have an admirer. Love your fucking posts and your biting honesty! I honor your "troublemaker!"

    Regarding Pema Chodron and Post.

    I find that the goal of many spiritual paths is in the discipline and mastery of mind and emotion so one can live in "raw' truth.

    The mind and emotions of a Socio are like a cobra to others. (this is incredible useful) It's what wakes people from delusions. It's nature way to "prune." This cobra can also turned onto itself. (how many are as biting and tough on themselves as they are on others) Self-critical are we now?

    Diversions and occupations are like the snake charmer. (power games, sex, drugs, alcohol, work, mastery of skills, posting on blogs)

    One never changes the snake- the instinctual urge to strike in defense. What gives self-mastery is to be the snake, the charmer, and all the crowd watching which you project onto . . . as one.

    Then you are not alone. You know you are part of a larger stage. You are connected. Harming others then feels like self. So behavior changes.

    Yet the irony is as one sits guiltlessly in the "raw" truth of it (oneness) boredom arises and fun of engagement (duality) brings one to create trouble for the "raw" truth in it.

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  29. Just because your settings are on private doesn't mean the authorities can't get your name from microsoft. That kid only needs your gamertag. What's the real story?

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  30. I'm still waiting for the knock on my door.

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  31. I'm starting to fit in again. I spent most of my life with a strong desire for peoples approval, as a child, this meant I fit in naturally without trying to act, I did things which they liked. As I grew up I cared less and less, this led me to have very little social contact. Now I'm starting to act more, it's easy but hard to break out of when you get home or feel like telling the truth to someone.

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  32. I don't think anything sea witch has said has made sense to me, it's all metaphorical blabble.

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  33. I'm just looking for someone who will give an opinion of the way i am, as i believe many people have attested to on this blog self analyzation can be difficult. Before finding this site i just thought i was good at manipulating people, when people asked me about how i could get away so much i would always explain it as thus "It's not about what your actually doing, it's all about what you make people see that your doing. Make them think they want what you want". I know that this may be a bit ambiguous but i'm sure someone on here can relate to that. I have friends, and can care about people. As long as they have something to offer. I was in a long term relationship with a pretty average girl and was basically using her for physical gratification. When situations changed, we split. She still loves me and i am self admittedly extremely calm about it. I guess i kind of thought that everybody was like this, to some degree. If you ask anybody at my school i'm charismatic, funny and will be the first person to help you out if i can. But i do so to further my own goals, i'm nice because it's easier to get things when people like you and i'll help people so that they owe me. I can insult, persuade or cause guilt by making indirect comments that most would never know where meant for that. I'm highly cautious with my manipulations, and i always have an out. I feel that i can relate to sociopaths (to varying degrees, i've only ever met one other person who can see my actions for what they really are. We have a mutually beneficial friendship but it's more of a pact because neither of us wants to have to deal with the other one on the playing field. Anyone have any thoughts on me?

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  34. 11:51: Have you seen this. http://www.sociopathworld.com/search?q=joseph+newman
    It was only after I watched this that things made sense
    The mistake I made was thinking that other psychopaths were like me. Not the case.

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  35. lol TNP wasn't i just telling you the other day buddhism and socio types have a lot in common - the coincidence is almost enough to give me faith :p

    adam - you are quite young, why do you think that is so obvious?

    Insults aren't only words - they're deeds too.
    I'd say that insults have to have intention. i don't think it possible for me to feel any anger at someone who genuinely didn't intend any slight.

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  36. Please explain :

    I have been watching the case of Rodney Alcala for quite a while now I'm fascinated with sociopaths in general.

    On the wikipedia entry of him it states :

    He joined the United States Army in 1960, where he served as a clerk. In 1964, after what was described as a "nervous breakdown", he was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder by a military psychiatrist and discharged on medical grounds.

    Question, how could a psychiatrist diagnose a clerk as a sociopath? And have any of you self diagnosed ones ever had a nervous breakdown?

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  37. Res. What do you think of men who sexually assault or kill children?

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  38. "Nervous breakdown" really isn't a psychiatric term, it's not well-defined. Did he have a psychotic break? (Was he experiencing hallucinations or delusions?) Was he having panic attacks? Was he in a severe depression? Was he unable to control his rage?

    It has too many meanings to draw any real conclusions.

    Sociopaths work in any number of fields, just as non-socios do... that is, when we're not busy sacrificing babies and conducting exorcisms on each other.

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  39. I find it difficult to focus on creating an impression without getting highly narcissistic and grandiose.

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  40. You have to be able to read people well if you want to create a good impression. I like imagine myself as some kind of entertainer and I try to show them everything they want to see. With some people I don't even bother, if I can't see a reason to. Being rude to people is fun.

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  41. I like ruining womens self esteem. This girl came up to me on the couch at the club and said, "I love you." I didn't even know this idiot. She asked "do you love me?" I said "I don't even know you" she said that love should be given freely. I told her that anything given for free is worthless. She got mad and left.

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  42. Rudeness almost always raises a reaction. Some people are just dull unless they're excited about something. In this case, rudeness can be a sort of public service.

    Does it promote spirituality or self-awareness? Probably not. It's an end in and of itself. So given that--- maybe it is a little zen ;).

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  43. If you want to make a pretty girl cry just comment on her weight. Sometimes when girls ask me If I think they look fat I just shrug, and they get upset. I told this girl at my collage that she looked kind of "puffy" in what she was wearing and she left the room crying. The good looking ones are just as insecure as the ugly ones.

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  44. and conversely if you want to make a pretty girl like you, you should compliment her mind. if she is pretty then lots of people will have told her so - very few if any will have complimented her mind and so that is her insecurity. compliment her insecurity to manipulate her.

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  45. I always use the line size doesn't matter as I am thinking to myself. Small dick.

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  47. Today’s horrorscope for AssholesFebruary 16, 2011 at 7:08 PM

    Taurus enters Uranus and promises success for Assholes everywhere.

    A decapitation, with neatness, could help you get ahead.

    But be sure dismembering a corpse doesn't jinx a relationship on its last legs.

    Single? Clown suits are subtle but very effective.

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  48. You were, Res, heh.

    I guess I should clarify. I don't give a shit about almost anyone. I'll be as mean, condescending, and cold as I please so long as it doesn't screw me over. But people I take a shine to for whatever reason, I see their flaws, their blind spots. Since I've taken a shine to this person, I want to improve them, and stamp out their weakness and blind spots. Sometimes I do it with "tough love", other times I do it nonchalantly, whatever the situation requires. I don't bother with any old Joe. Pearls before swine, and such.

    It usually numbers 1-5 people a year, if I'm moving or switching jobs, closer to five. It's not heart to heart shit usually, just, hey, by the way...

    I make people who are rude to me pay. I have little tolerance for an undeserved insult or stab. If it is deserved, well, I guess that depends how stubborn I'm feeling...

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  49. Chinese Fortune Cookies says . . .February 16, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    "I used to have a sign pinned up on my wall that read: Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us."
    — Pema Chödrön

    "We can spend our whole lives escaping from the monsters of our minds."
    — Pema Chödrön

    "At the root of all the harm we cause is ignorance."
    — Pema Chödrön

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  51. can someone tell who these ruthless men (who made an ultimate contribution to society) are?

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  52. Alexander the Great
    Ghengis Khan
    Tamerlane
    Chairman Mao
    Che Guevara
    Fidel Castro
    Joseph Stalin
    Julius Caesar

    Yeah, I'm going to stop there. That should keep you busy.

    Teddy Roosevelt, not so much ruthless as a dick, but he got a lot of shit done.

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  54. Great list, Note.

    Additions to the power hungry ruthless strategists . . .

    Julius Caesar
    Hannibal, the Carthaginian military commander
    Napoleon Bonaparte
    Charles Maurice de Talleyrand (a favorite)
    General William Sherman
    The Medici as a family

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  55. ... blah

    Malcolm X
    Norman Mailer
    Larry Flynt
    Marquis De Sade
    Henry Miller
    Anais Nin
    Andy Warhol


    ... almost anyone whose life story has been featured in a Milos Foreman film.


    etc...

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  57. Love Anais Nin.

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  58. Hands off! Anais is *my* favourite narcissist.

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  59. Ménage à trois

    6 handed solution.

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  60. Julius Caesar was on my list, Soulful :P

    I'll add a few lesser known or novel ones...

    Vlad III, The Impaler
    Cao Cao
    Nestor Makhno
    Josef Mengele
    George Patton
    Thomas Edison

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  61. Notable troublemakers always expose the flaw. . . ouch, sigh.

    Caesar would have felt he deserved the double mention.

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  62. Aspie, you must like rude people a little bit. You're here. :)


    Gary Gilmore
    John Nash, Jr. (not so much ruthless as just unempathic and terminally rude.)
    Mata Hari
    Sacco and Vanzetti

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  63. Taurus enters Uranus and promises success for Assholes everywhere.

    A decapitation, with neatness, could help you get ahead.

    But be sure dismembering a corpse doesn't jinx a relationship on its last legs.

    Single? Clown suits are subtle but very effective.

    February 16, 2011 7:08 PM

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  64. Res Said:
    "and conversely if you want to make a pretty girl like you, you should compliment her mind. if she is pretty then lots of people will have told her so - very few if any will have complimented her mind and so that is her insecurity. compliment her insecurity to manipulate her.


    Quite. This is for Res only:

    How do the smart ones who are also pretty do with you?
    February 16, 2011 5:03 PM

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  65. Ukan said:
    I like ruining womens self esteem. This girl came up to me on the couch at the club and said, "I love you." I didn't even know this idiot. She asked "do you love me?" I said "I don't even know you" she said that love should be given freely. I told her that anything given for free is worthless. She got mad and left.

    Good luck with that, Ukan.
    Priceless. You did her a favor. She'll remember it and thank you later. Ironically, her esteem should be higher now, so it backfired on you.
    Unless she is a total dumbass (prob, if she picked you to love.) In that case, you've had no effect on her whatsoever.


    February 16, 2011 4:43 PM

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  66. Anon 6:06
    I know, that dick thing is a problem. Good thing for that six handed menage.

    Notable, what about Eva Peron?

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  67. "I used to have a sign pinned up on my wall that read: Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us."
    — Pema Chödrön

    Huh
    I went out with a guy a few years ago who was breaking my heart. He knew it, I knew it, and maybe to some extent he thought I would break his. He asked me if I ever went out with someone I later regretted meeting. I said no, and when he asked why I actually said that it was because I wanted to "callous my heart". In retrospect, I don't know if that was me being wreckless with myself, or me showing off some stupid ability to keep getting punched and still land on my feet. I don't get it. And yet it exists in me. Even now.

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  68. Mis said:"Its better to feed peoples delusions and keep them in the dark".

    You must have no faith in the people you meet to understand what you have to offer. Or maybe you're a jackass, in which case, who gives a fuck whether you live or die alone. You obviously don't.

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  69. You have to be able to read people well if you want to create a good impression. I like imagine myself as some kind of entertainer and I try to show them everything they want to see. With some people I don't even bother, if I can't see a reason to. Being rude to people is fun.

    You try too hard to impress people here on sw. You seem pretty smart. What's the use of entertaining a bunch of people who are using your name to prove their own points?

    February 16, 2011 2:54 PM

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  70. That comment was for Mis. I also think rudeness is unattractive, Mis. Walking away is more affective if you want to hurt someone. I am only rude when I'm out of control. It happens. Shit happens.

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  71. TheNotablePath said...
    "Not everyone rises, phoenix like, from the wreckage of their soul - what value is an insult when it breaks and withers a life?"

    That's their own fault for letting words break them beyond repair.
    -----------------------------------

    Words Shmerds.

    There are ways to say things. Sometimes it is all in the delivery.

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  72. Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.

    Anais Nin

    Yes

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  73. Why is that a failure?

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  74. how could we know if anything is like death?

    sounds good in a drama prose though

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  75. why would you want to give someone else power over you? who cares what others think about you? don't ask someone what they think about you because you are giving them power to judge you, to analyze you without knowing the full depth of your character and the reasons to your flaws or negatives.

    if you have negative traits, work on them, don't ask others to analyze it or to "help" uncover you blind spots. not everyone is genuine with their "help". they might "help" show you your blind spots only to later gossip about you in the corporate office and tell everybody how dumb they think you are in a whisper campaign.

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