Thursday, February 13, 2014

Reciprocity

Recently I have been struggling to keep a particular (and essential) professional relationship in any sort of equilibrium. If I act too professionally, I am considered cold. If I get too friendly, I'm accused of "handling" this person, of pretending I like them just to get them to produce better/more work. This person insists that I instead be completely honest and only do anything nice or social with them if I actually "want to," as opposed to merely keeping the wheels greased in our professional relationship. You can of course guess how this person reacts, though, when I am really honest, e.g. telling them that actually I don't want to go out to dinner every weekend and would really rather keep the relationship more professional, etc. Complicating issues is that this person has basically guessed who I am, or at least is aware of some of my more dominant characteristics; in fact, until recently we have laughed and joked about my ruthlessness around the office. And finally, the cherry on top is that this person is an aspie, and not just an aspie but a high strung, short-tempered, angry and emotionally oversensitive aspie. (Either it is my profession, my personality, or both that seemingly make me an aspie magnet).

I have put up with so much in this relationship -- accepted basically every idiosyncrasy of this person and adapted to it. For my part, I get criticized and apologize daily for small hurts I have "inflicted." But if I ever so much as refer to any of Aspie's numerous failings, I am accused of kicking someone while they're down. Aspie wants us to be "besties" instead of "frenemies" or even "water cooler colleagues", but I'll never be truly close with someone for whom I have to not only custom-tailor every response in a way that feels so unnatural to me, but also fabricate an elaborate fiction as to every sanitized-for-consumption thought I never actually had, down to the most intimate detail. I can play make-believe as well as anybody, but there are limits. In the meantime, I desperately need Aspie's technical skills in a very time-sensitive project, so I grovel when I need to, and screen calls when I can't muster up anything else. (Aspie if you are reading this, please do not find where I live and kill me and then you in a murder/suicide).

A reader presents what I thought was a relatively similar situation:
I think my ex-boyfriend might be a sociopath, and to be honest with you I don't really care all that much. We're still friends, but I seem to keep setting myself in the line of fire and getting hurt in some fashion. The result is me being upset and him being frustrated because he feels that I have no reason to be upset, and he doesn't think that he did anything wrong.

I want to make our friendship work, because like it or not...I'm hopelessly addicted to this boy - to the point that I don't even care how he feels about me. If he is a sociopath, then I'll know, and I'll be able to tailor what I say and do accordingly in the interests of avoiding future confrontations of the same nature.

We get in disputes, and he somehow knows exactly what to say to end it. Whether it's an apology, a promise, etc...But I always get this weird feeling about it. He's very attentive when I explain how I felt wronged, but not because he feels bad that I feel that way- because he's trying to dissect the feeling that I'm having, so that he can calculate what to say that will counter it. Then he'll come up with a conclusion that he thinks completely solves the problem, and it does - but I always get this underlying feeling of contempt from him. Like he sees me as some sort of authority figure that he's trying to outsmart.
You said: "Like he sees me as some sort of authority figure that he's trying to outsmart." He probably does feel that, in a way. He has to edit himself, restrict himself, and sugarcoat himself for everyone else that he probably resents when he has to do it around you too. He probably thinks that since he accepts and accommodates everything about you, why can't you do the same?

203 comments:

  1. Did you hear about so and so? They had a terrible accident on the way back to their car after Project X ended.

    Eggheads are a dime a dozen. Most of them are such prima donnas, they don't realize just how expendable and easily replaced they really are. I've seen so many come and go at multiple corporations, thinking it impossible for themselves to be thrown away like old meat.

    You need this co-worker like you need the flu. For no longer than two weeks. Purge them of your project after finding a suitable replacement unless you can wait it out. If you think you're having a hard time with this person, imagine what normal folks have to deal with.

    Just lop the tumor off before it spreads. You'll be doing everyone a favor. A real Hero.

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  2. Rape and kill her.

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  3. You are a sociopath. I don't understand why you care enough to write a blog about this person, why is it needling you so much? Just carry on pretending, as I'm sure you do with everybody. Why is this any different?

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  4. I often have to do the same at work. Pretend I give a shit about what my boss or co-worker say just to smooth office relations and get things done in a manner of least resistance. I have my limits though, and a low tolerance for bullshit. Maybe one of the best (and worst) things about my field is that it's primarily male dominated so I don't have to hear about peoples feelings and emotions constantly because, quite frankly, I have enough problems I don't need other people dumping their shit on me too. I don't get to close to the people I work with and I don't bother socializing with them. Water cooler colleagues is the way to go.

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  5. Anon, he wrote why it's different. He requires technical skills from this person. When you have to fake it for someone you receive nothing from then you are already gone even if you're sitting right next to them.

    On that note, I'm quite sure many non socio readers could agree: "That could happen to anyone."

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  6. It does happen to anyone. It happens to everyone.

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  7. I agree, Ive never thought about a person for more than five minutes, let alone write a blog about them.

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  8. You're kind of suggesting that that we should all be of the same mold. You're also suggesting that you might not have the intellect to fathom using someone for longer than five minutes. You're also hinting that your sex life lasts five minutes each time. Surely if you've accomplished all your goals in life by yourself then hats off to you, but not everyone is of the same exact mold. Maybe you should think for longer than five minutes before you waste another five minutes of my time :)

    Then again, maybe M.E. should put five minutes of study into the tech field to be more self sufficient so he'd ONLY have to use her for five minutes to get what he needs.

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  9. Let's say I'm the aspie ME is talking about.

    ME is transparent to me, I know his game, but not in a way that I have accepted that he is a psycho but in a way that he's tretaing people differently, and I'm pissed off because there is this one opportunity that I want (a managerial responsibility, added to my technical skills) that he is juts not giving. Bozo thinks I can't do it, he is in a tunnel-vision limiting me to only a part of me, not giving me a chance to enjoy myself fully. He does not realize I have capabilities he cannot imagine, he's blocking my way. Till he gets me what I want I'll be around him and will finally convince him that I deserve better.

    So, ME, shape up, EIther give the aspie more of what he wants to get him off your back or find a way to eliminate him altogether. By the way, pure honesty in terms of your assessment of his skills and discussion could do both of you no harm. You may be surprised how well an aspie takes honesty (unlike a socio).

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  10. Sociopaths don't respect the truth, we give criticism to people who show kindness to others LoL.

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  11. Right... because thats a useful tool.

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  12. Am i the only person who thinks that people who join the military are retarded?

    I wouldn't be able to stick having those soldiers screaming into your face I'd punch one of them out, if you take that shit off them your winding yourself up to take shit from any authority figure, it's incredibly dumb when others say that it "turns you into a man" bullshit! It's mind control.

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  13. Yes absolutely. punch them in the face that way when you go to the brig you can tell your self how worth it it was... or you can suck it up, make it to the other side have shit loads of fun making others lives miserable with the blessing of your superiors, and then if you weren't too much of a bitch to take a job that might get you killed, you may get to kill some people... with the blessing of the us government.

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  14. Yeah, but you get to kill people. Might just be worth it.

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  15. Your more likely to be killed, what sort of achievement is ending a couple of Iraqi's lives? Anyone can do that, its easy. The military is for dumb people, why not go into the business world? It's technical not everyone is cut out for the job but it's a whole lot safer than the army, and you are not seen as just another hot headed thug looking to shoot anyone who gives you the wrong look.

    When my grandad used to tell me about his military stores, I'd pretend i was listening, behind his back i was calling him a fool, I'd hate someone to think the same of me.

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  16. Which to y'all enjoy more: a chance to enact base impulses i.e. killing or striking out, or more subtle manipulation w/ delayed gratification?

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  17. Striking out by far, i can't delay shit.

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  18. Death, murder, rape. Cop-outs. Real power is found the interaction with others. Messy, taxing, thrilling.

    I say the only thing you can change is your reactions to this aspie. You are living in a box. Use your socio-powers to break free. You are having an intimate interaction. M.E. are you not a Cancer? You will survive. Pull back your discomfort, get bigger than the issue, enjoy the ride. Boredom could be worse.

    How does one break free of the box. Be the higher wave. Power, authority and surrender are an art form.Understand the Greek Ideals of Reciprocity,
    Aret, Xenia and Ergon.

    http://shs.westport.k12.ct.us/jdamico/WH/Ideal/GreekIdeals.htm

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  19. You are more likely to die but your grandfather is still alive. I've known a few sociopaths in the military. Many of them found it to be a useful tool for two reasons. One they get to act on those base instincts and two it a good way to get into politics. Its all about your goals. I don't disagree with you when you say your are more likely to die if you do the ARMY. For them its a numbers game. Thats why get some real training in the Marine Corp and then go special forces. Careful thou, the only people that really stay in long enough to make the higher ranks tend to be people to stupid to do anything else, except for officers of course, but they just want to get in your way.

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  20. Agreed, i tend to make glib remarks, it's true what they say, well for me, i lack complete insight. Into myself and of the world in general.

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  21. If i had the self awareness that normal people had of themselves, I'd probably want to change, so I'm glad i guess, I'd also be aware of the damage i am causing.

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  22. Even if you had it you wouldn't care, your brain doesn't have the emotional smack that we have.

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  23. Yeah, I've got the self awareness but there's no way I'd want to change. As for being aware of the damage you're causing, I love that, makes you smile when you realise how impressive some of it is.

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  24. Adam if you didn't have self awareness you wouldn't be aware that you didn't have it. Also, if you really were without insight, you wouldn't think to label your comments glib. In other words, you are both aware and have insight.

    It sounds like you found a list of sociopath traits and decided to sprinkle your comments with the appropriate buzz words. It reeks of inauthenticity.

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  25. What Robocop said.

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  26. Check me out singing here :)

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  27. ME was fine for ages.
    then seemed to get depressed about repeating the same ol shit, and started fantasising about how to get in touch with his feelings.
    then he felt better.
    now he's turned into a whining little bitch. i think maybe he succeeded in his aim and became a real boy.

    wrt military - i was an officer for a very brief while. definitely better being an officer than a grunt if you're a socio. there is really very little difference between the military and a big corporation; just that in the military if your boss asks you to do something it is a legally binding order. corporations have ranks just like the military - line managers, middle management, function heads, etc.

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  28. I don't think you should fire this aspie, ME. Just remind him that your the boss and he's the worker. Tell him that if he doesn't like how you run things, he can pack his bags and fuck off. Pretend as though he's easily expendable, that will make him fear for his job and treat you with more respect.

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  29. Matter of fact, don't listen to me, ME. I am just an institutionalized gay retard. Also, i drink my own pee. I am not reliable. As you can see i just changed my mind from a second ago.

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  30. heh, Well I am a pretty unreliable guy. I can always rely on you to make laugh though. Keep up the good work.

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  31. Actually, I'm flattered that you went through that trouble just to create an account especially for me. With all this talk of gays, I'd think you had a thing for me. Are you confused about your sexuality? Are you ashamed by the feelings that you have towards me? Is that why you resent me, for making you feel all.....dirty?

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  32. Cause if that's the case, i would be more than happy to let you put it inside my anus...

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  33. I don't think you should fire this aspie, ME. Just remind him that your the boss and he's the worker. Tell him that if he doesn't like how you run things, he can pack his bags and fuck off. Pretend as though he's easily expendable, that will make him fear for his job and treat you with more respect.

    Exactly.

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  34. Adam if you didn't have self awareness you wouldn't be aware that you didn't have it. Also, if you really were without insight, you wouldn't think to label your comments glib. In other words, you are both aware and have insight

    It sounds like you found a list of sociopath traits and decided to sprinkle your comments with the appropriate buzz words. It reeks of inauthenticity.


    No, told you, you stupid bastard, I'm glibly self aware, i can see things on the surface but not deeply, i said glib because it's a word that is used time after time when you are dealing with sociopaths, shall i create a new word for you? Stop attacking me because you are burdened with a conscience.

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    Replies
    1. Wow, Adam.. your so angry. Why do you get so angry? Because everyone has noticed that you try to appear as a sociopath? Yet you really might be something more like a Borderline?

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  35. just a question for you so called socios out there who like to get defensive.
    how dose getting defensive serve logic and reason?
    I understand that as socios you lake a natural impulse control but obviously any successfulness sociopath must find a way. Otherwise they would all be in jail. I mean seriously if you acted on every impulse how many people would you have killed on the spot.

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  36. M.E.
    obviously because its a time sensitive project you can't just fire him and, with someone that emotionally sensitive, threatening their job will probably produce substandard work. You can't be honest because people can't handle honesty. The guy is desperate for friends. As an aspie I'm sure he/she finds it very difficult to make friends, so by treating him/her differently than everyone else you have created yourself a vary needy pet. Maybe you should reassure him/her and keep feeding untill the project is complete and start looking for a replacement. But thats just me. Priorities... right

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  37. It doesn't, it just makes you look stupid. Which is why I don't do it.
    It's like with you, letting your heart rule your head, whilst you may want to, say, run away with the love of your life, if you stop and think for a split second you realise how impractical it is. If you have any kind of intelligence you learn pretty fast to keep it under control because you have to. If I do act on an impulse I like to think that I don't have to, that I could stop but there's just no reason to. But that might just be me deluding myself. Maybe I'm not socio. Damn. It's identity crisis time... Not sure I ever actually made my point in this comment... Oh well.

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  38. Everyone is expendable. To make someone inexpendable is to give power to people who should not have it (i.e. somenoen besides yourself).
    I have a employee like that. She complains, shorts the count, and lies. She also makes makes me twice the amount of anyone else. She think because of that she can get away with shit, and give me complaints. I don't let her get away with anything. She's like my pittbull, always a bad dog. Just like my dog she gets reprimanded every week. I leave her in tears sometimes, but she can't leave. It got so bad my girlfriend had to handle her, but since my girlfriend is out of the business she has to deal with me again.
    Give people a inch and they'll take a mile.

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  39. So if she pushed you to far would you fire her?

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  40. I think thats where priorities come into play. I mean she makes you more money than any one else and as long as thats worth more than not having to deal with her she will stay. once that line is crossed... good day bitch. But that seems pretty obvious.

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  41. Identity crisis

    Who said that socios aren't susceptible to self delusions? I mean most socios think they are the smartest people in the world which isn't possible considering there are so many of them, and the smartest people generally are not socios. sound a little like self delusion to me.

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  42. I asked because it sounds as though UKan's already given her plenty of second chances. I was wondering how far is to far. Why haven't you said good day to that bitch if she is expendable?

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  43. Because when she's short I bury her in interest to where she is a indentured servant. When she screws up I bury her in guilt. When she complains I use it to make her feel small. I don't get rid of her because I have total control.
    I don't fire people. She either gets with the program or she faces the consequences. She's tried to quit, but I won't let her. She makes me what the average job in my country pays every month and I'm not even there. Its free money.

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  44. 1:47 I never said they weren't. Besides I'd say there were two main types of socios. Smarter than most and dumber than most. But that kinda fits in with the low functioning, high functioning thing.

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  45. Is she a prostitute Ukan?

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  46. She goes too far if she gets brave, supports my competitors, tries to go on her own, doesn't pay her debts, or turns informant. In these cases a pink slip will be the last of her worries.

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  47. Lol your aspie is manipuateing you M.E. He's making you jump through his hoops for fun and laughs.

    Cause you need him what I would do is be textbook polite, act confused when he complains that you're cold, because you're just trying to get the job done for the good of the company and all of it's employees. Then get away from him so that he can do his job.

    If you didn't desperately need him I would turn the tables on him and offer him some constructive critisism.

    I love high strung emotional people, they are so easy to get going. Fuck with them long enough and they will get themselves fired or quit. Just don't antagoize him too obvious. It's better if he thinks you're his friend, cause that way you are always able to get in his head and you have a front row seat as he reacts to every little piece of shit that you throw at him.

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  48. You're 13 aren't ya Adam? I'll leave you alone. I don't like messing with minors. Besides, you'll grow out of this "I'm a sociopath here me roar" phase soon enough. Unless you're the special snowflake type. In which case, welcome to the rest of your life.

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  49. So here's something I'm confused about, do the rest of you manipulate people for personal/political/economic gain or just because you like doing it? If the latter what is it you most like to make them do/feel?

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  50. Only Notable says special snowflake, like the big aspie douche he is.

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  51. Both.
    I like to automate the work and risk I have in my life, much like any owner of a business.
    I manipulate in my relationships with people, because I distrust them in general. If I'm not controlling them they might get ideas of their own. Those ideas have in the past led to being threats to my position.
    I used to manipulate people for fun, but I stopped.
    I get a rush when I used to do this. It was free entertainment.

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  52. Explain to me how Not Able is a aspie? Its funny how we have a favorite diagnosis every week.

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  53. I like to play people off against each other. I'll tell person A that person B said something nasty about them behind there back, just to create tension. I lead people into humiliating situations very often. For instance a couple of days ago I told this guy who I'd just met that this girl I know was into him(she wasn't) and that he should go and talk to her. She rejected him and he went all red in the face. Sometimes I set people up to take falls for me, without knowing for sure wether or not they'll come in useful later. Like a couple of weeks before I stole some money from this guy I know(he's a prick) I told him that I had caught is girlfriend trying to steal some money from my bag, So that he would suspect her. I didn't need her in the end, but it's always good to have a scapegoat. Manipulating people for no reason is like creating your own TV show and casting whoever you like in it, wether they want the part or not. It is entertaining, but it also makes me feel more powerful.

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  54. You people are twisted. Make my stomach turn.

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  55. *Not just UKan and Misanthrope either(although they strike me a particularly twisted).

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  56. I love it misanthrope good show.
    My business partner and best friend went against me when he thought he learned enough from me that he didn't need me anymore. I turned everyone against him even his own brother.
    His brother would slip up and tell me what this traitor was doing. I would get him to slip by telling him that his brothers earner was telling me so I already knew that he was lying. What a coward. When I had him close to checkmate I told him his earner gave him up. He talked to his brother and he corrobrated it. When he dissassociated himself with her I hired her and told her he turned me against her. As he sat confused I used his earner to take all his business.
    After I isolated him I gave him a choice and he left the game.

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  57. I did the the guy girl setup with this other sociopath girl. We were bored at the club. I told this guy she was my sister and that she liked him. When he went up to her she laughed in his face and humiliated him. This guy was so dumb and seduced by her that he stood there and took abuse for 10 minutes while she tripped him up with his words into quasi saying he was a homosexual (he was really homophobic so it was funny). He ended up leaving and calling me. He asked me "What's your sisters problem?"
    I told him that it was her way of being flirtacious. I told him she loved how he defended his views (my private joke when I'm really telling people that their defensiveness tells me where they are insecure) and how (much a sucker) witty he was. He actually came back to the club and she humiliated him more. It was hilarious. When I left he was still there trying to prove his manhood to her.

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  58. In my country its not twisted. This is living. Get off your high horse you pig.

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  59. Excellent. It's actually nice to know I'm not the only one who's mostly about having fun. I mean, I will use people for personal gain, but once I convinced a girl who really looked up to me that I was depressed. Bit of obvious self-harm and moping later, she starts copying me, after that all I had to do was plant a few seeds and she did all the work driving herself to therapy and suicide attempts. I just had to say a few words and she was off again. Only when I got bored did I question why I was doing it and I realised it was just to watch, because it was amusing. Everyone on here talks about control and power and money. I just like to, 'watch people dance' I guess.

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  60. Lol. Stupid people invite manipulation. The guy I met was boasting to me about how he could get any pussy that he wanted. He was short and ugly, but he thought he was all that because he was wearing designer clothes. I just decided to put him in his place.

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  61. Beautiful, isn't it?

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  62. It is all for laughs in this life isn't it? I don't do the bad guy scowl I'm always smiling. I love it. I'm used to flying by the seat of my pants and being put (or putting myself) through situations and struggles and having to fight my way out. I love having enemies and making them suffer. I love playing games with people. Sometimes I want to leave it all, but what boredom would I have?
    I can't really care about money and power because both are limitless. There are plenty of marks out there ready and willing to make themselves available for your needs. I can be broke and still have everything I need from people around me. However, if someone tries to take my money or my influence its a different story. What mine is mine.

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  63. Yah misanthrope I love fucking with the people that are narccissists. The weak insecure people are too pathetic to work with. There's no game. You can tell them they are nothing and they will just go along with it without a fight because they know they are pathetic. They cry or have that stupid weak look on their face. It makes me sick.
    The narccissists are just as insecure, but you can shoot jokes right past them and low key lead them into admitting they're complete tools. Its more satisfying to watch a paper tiger burn than piece of paper.

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  64. Wtf is Yah? Are you Jamacin?

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  65. Belief systems. I fucking love people with belief systems. They're so deluded and desperate for it to work they'll twist anything to fit it. And they'll build their whole lives on it. It's like a house of cards, pull one of the bottom ones out and everything else comes with it. (If I keep saying pretentious shit like that I think I'm gonna be sick.)

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  66. Why not? Let's get pretenscious in here. I'm tired of being humble. Let's talk about how great we are.

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  67. Haha. We have been. Cool to have people that don't say things like "You did what? You're a fucking monster! How could you do that to another human being?" Weirdly enough, they never seem to get my point of view... :D

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  68. hehe, i'm enjoying this...

    Have you ever considered Ukan that maybe some people find your 'games' pretty tedious that they'll say anything just to be done with you since they see you're not worth the time and effort?

    Just a thought.

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  69. I've never understood all this "empiness" shit. I guess that in some ways I am empty, but it's not something that causes me any distress. If anything I think i'm happier than most people. I wake up everyday feeling great about myself. Some people tell me that I'm not living my life to its fullest potential, and that I sabotage my own happiness and success but I don't know what the thier talking about. I feel great! And I'm usually smiling too. People are my playthings and I've got them in abundance.

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  70. titty fuck me notable

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  71. And what makes you better than any other scumbag?

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  72. "Let's talk about how great we are."

    Sounds good to me.

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  73. Sure, they get tired. Who cares. There's plenty of people that are waiting to be useful. Most of humanity are fools. Dime a dozen. You can burn through people like straw, and still people line up to be used.

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  74. well it's mutual affair. Life that is. You're the sucker if you think that it's only you doing the using.

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  75. I don't feel empty, I just get bored. I get the whole 'potential', 'happiness' etc. thing as well. You'll never catch me with high blood pressure though. Stress? What's stress? Sometimes I get confused though, how can I know I don't have 'feelings' when nobody can describe one to me? And how can they have feelings if they can't even describe one to themselves.

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  76. I'm a brilliant scumbag. And people love me for it.

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  77. I know. They never can explain their emotions and when they do its some general thing they have no basis for, then they say that I don't understand. How can I understand nonsense.

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  78. I can describe a feeling to you if you like. It's not that hard.
    It's harder describing why feelings change i guess. I assume your question was rhetorical though.

    I'm curious, how did you guys react to 9/11?

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  79. It wasn't rhetorical if you can describe one well.

    How d'you mean react? I wasn't there.

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  80. I manipulate people for entertainment, and also to learn how people act and react. I don't want their money or anything material from them, I just find them interesting. I don't usually aim to hurt anyone but some people just ask for it.
    I like to get into my enemies heads, find the festering wounds in their psyche, stick a knife in and twist.
    To the person who said 'you people make me sick'. Normal people make me sick too. If they could, they would be as mean as I am. Wanna know why? Because it's empowering. You ever been bullied Anon? How did being bullied and humilated make you feel?
    As far as I'm concerned I'm playing by society's rules. I'm taking the Golden Rule and treating others as they treat me

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  81. I was excited to be honest, and I think everyone was if they were honest. I know you were too notme. It was like a action movie. The planes, explosions, tragedy, people jumping to their death, crazy president, and rogue terrorist. I love it.

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  82. I actually thought it was boring, and i went out to play golf.

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  83. The people who treat me best, i treat the worst by far.

    wv - cooking

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  84. GOLF!? There's actually something more dull than golf?!

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  85. 'how did you guys react to 9/11'

    It was so unreal, like some TV show or something.

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  86. I love vengeance. I like it more than sex. I put people in situations where they are tempted to fuck me over and use it as a excuse to fuck them completely. When everyone sees what happends they take my side as the victim.

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  87. it was exciting, and yes like a movie, not really real. I had a different take on it cos of where my dad is from and we watched it happen together. He was elated, and i guess i was cheering for his side. Goes against what i'm usually about but i guess i was sick of seeing what the US was doing around my dad's part of the world. I grew up watching the bombings over there, so this was like a great comeuppance,(conspiracy theories aside). Truth is, these days, i side with no one really, i can't stand this world in all honesty. People suck, wherever they are.

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  88. What were you supposed to feel?
    I don't remember it being all that spectacular.

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  89. See, its what I told my fiance when she called me the devil. You can't help but fascinate yourself with our destruction, and our sense of judgement on the world. No matter the destruction you watch you will find a way to justify what we do if not to make sense of it, then as a way of privately cheering what you wish you could do if you had the stomach for.

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    1. No, this is the yes-saying of a codependent

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  90. what emotion do you want me to describe anon?
    Have you never felt rage, or anger or something? I'm sure you have.

    Emotion by definition, is felt, not talked about. sorry. I inhabit an emotion deeply, so words are a pale comparison. I could show you in poetry form if you like - i have plenty of those. ;)

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  91. I get annoyed sometimes, but it never lasts long.
    That sounds useless. But go on.

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  92. I justify my actions to other people but never to myself. I don't need to, I don't care. Half the time when I'm caught out, people do most of the work for me. They'll come up with reasons as to why I did what I did, and I'll simply go along with the one that sounds the most believable. Then I go off laughing about how stupid they are for buying their own shit.

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  93. I'm the same way, but I will admit I was caught up so much in my justifications when I was younger (pre-prison) that I believed them. It happends when you have to lie a lot. You have o believe it so much you lose yourself till you get older. I was the constant victim ring above. The underdog.
    When I realized how much I destroyed people around me realized how much power I reallly had.

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  94. i left the house that day and everyone was like, 'isn't it terrible, isn't it just awful'
    Well, i thought it was pretty grand actually and plus, i wasn't there, burning to death. (so yeah, i half-feigned sympathy-lol). I still thought of the people dying and how horrible that was, but my priorities were elsewhere.

    I grew up watching the US act like an asshole round where my dad's from. It's the reason I finally became desensitised and stopped watching the news. I force myself to not care about what happens in global politics. I just switched off one day and realised what a sick game it all was. I didn't know the word sociopath back then, but, I guess i realised it all, well before.

    I still get emotionally involved in certain things, but, i try not to care. :P

    destruction doesn't normally fascinate me Ukan. It may for a while but i like fixing things up really.

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  95. Anon, how about i just show you an emotion. Oh, it's the internet, too bad.

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  96. I hate bullies and authority. I know its a childhood thing. I know why I do it. I hated my father. He told me until I beat him up he would beat me up. One day I broke a chair on his neck (I aimed for his head) and it sent him to the hospital.
    I fought bullies and lost or won depending, but I never accepted defeat. I always keep coming until you give up. That's how I grew up. I like seeing someone being fucked with and them coming back with a bloodbath. I love being fucked with and shocking people to how far I will go to make that person kneel.

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  97. The whole being horrified at people dying thing, I don't get it. That's what people do. All the time. Everywhere.
    Recently someone near where I live jumped 3 floors of the shopping centre killing themselves, people set up a facebook group saying 'r.i.p. the woman who died in the shopping mall". Not only did they not know her, they didn't even know her name. They were all crying and saying rest in peace. She could've been a serial killer for all they knew. Theres a hospital down the street, people are dying there everyday, I don't see them crying by their bedsides.

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  98. Its a display for people to feel better about themselves. Its total shit.

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  99. Anon what you said makes sense.
    But making sense of things is just one component of human nature, it's not everything.

    People are unconsciously selective. We can't be all things all the time. Unless you're BPD - that's no mean feat. LOLS!

    I feel really sick right now - shall i describe it Anon? My oesophegus is all acidy and I just want to hurl. In fact, i forced myself to but only water came up.
    So, yeah, my face is all grimacy and i'm forcing myself to type to forget the feeling. It's not really working...

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  100. what kills me about that is that person killed herself. i can see maybe if she were like pregnant and someone raped and threw her off, but the bitch jumped. she wanted to die. sound like she got what she wanted. why is that sad.

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  101. Well anytime the rest of you would like to start making more sense and being less illogical that would be fine.
    I do hope you know you're just describing a biological response.

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  102. I'm not a socio at least not text book but people piss me off for just being people. maybe its just because i don't understand but how can i when people run there lives by mystical notions that no one can explain.

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  103. Can you feel great loss?

    If you can't feel love maybe you will never feel greif when someone dies. That part of your life is over and you will never see them again. The pleasure you felt to be with them is cut off. It's a physical pain that radiates from your chest to your head and makes you feel a presure that builds to the point of explosion.

    Did you ever experience over whelming fear?
    Similar pain.

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  104. ya know they say that but its not like I don't have those chemicals. like I said I'm not a socio. I made the choice a long time ago not to emotions run my life. I chose not to be an idiot. Trust me I had plenty of that emotion shit as a kid. I didn't even have a bad life. I just kept watching other people make emotional decisions and decided that was not going to be me. There still there, I just don't act on or react to them.

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  105. cos suicide IS sad. It's tragic. Yes, she got what she wanted but i'm sure she would have wanted a happier/better life.

    People feel for these people, it doesn't mean they handle it well or understand it - many don't.

    Personally, i'd feel happy for someone who killed themselves, only cos i know that life was probably unbearable for them.

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  106. tik where most people feel pain or love or fear sociopaths feel anger irritation excitement or most commonly nothing

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  107. That sounds rubbish. And you say you like having emotions? Not really sure what fear is like. I love adrenaline though.

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  108. you need to get a name so we know which anon you are. It doesn;t help the conversation this way and i'll get bored.
    you may be the same anon but how do we know

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  109. Your impluse control could be compared to an Empath's emotions.

    Some reactions just come out without any real thought behind them. Emotions will come out as a responce with out any thought behind them.

    My reaction to a suicide would be horror not loss if I didn't know them.
    My reaction to a family member would be loss and grief'

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  110. I get it tik. That makes a lot of sense how you say it. Like when I feel like I can't drink enough, but I don't know why. Like when I feel like manipulating someone, or making people suffer. There's no reason or explanation.
    Anon I doubt you have not felt fear. Fear like pain is something you become tolerant of. Tolerance is felt after youy hagve become accustomed to it. Don't be over the top.

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  111. Not me
    I can understand being happing for the ending of unbearable pain. Just like the whole issue with keeping the elderly alive past there due date. Lol its law. and people like to think that that is some how human... what ever that means.

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  112. Do you find that you experience foreign emotions to you by inducing them in other's?

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  113. yes, i have chemicals.

    People put their animals to death but humans are exempt. And it's against the law for logistical reasons, you can't assist in someone's suicide unless you go abroad where they have legally registered practises for it. So people end up killing themselves in ghastly, painful ways and most survive, badly hurt, brain damaged etc. How is that being humane and merciful?

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  114. ukan
    fear for me is almost always replaced with anger but you are not wrong. I have felt fear but nothing like other people.

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  115. As an empath (intuitive at that)
    I feel what other people are feeling even physical pain. And it's not like I want to it just happens.
    Sometimes I get angry at them when their reactions are extreme, maybe because I resent that they are causing me to feel with them.
    I can be distructive when dealing with a narcc because of their need to be in the spotlight all the time. And I have. anytime I've felt wrong after doing this they have always reared their ugly head again which has taught me to block the feelings that I was wrong and now I don't let them interfer I am always on gaurd.

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  116. not me
    I'm not really sure what your talking about. When people get to the point of no return and they are on their death beds dieing in ways more painful than can be induce people do everything they can to keep them alive because they don't want to lose them, even though they already have. they would rather let them sit there and suffer because they are uncomfortable with the idea of... easing there pain.
    How is THAT humane?

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  117. Afraid, no I am right. When you say you have not felt fear you are lieing. I know. I have felt fear most people can't imagine for years. Now I'm numb to it. I know what its like to be fearless, but I know what I went through to get there. You know its true because you contradicted yourself.

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  118. i think you misunderstood my comment. I'm totally agreeing with you.

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  119. ukan.
    Of course your right. I was was over the top. I haven't spent my life in the face of fear but I have been there. I've been places and I've seen things most people can't imagine and many of the people that were there with me are all fuck up for it. I felt fear. I felt the shortness of breath the hart beating so hard you thought maybe it would stop. But it didn't own me and it didn't slow me. It motivated me. It became a rush. It stopped being fear and became rage. It was fun. That may be stupid but thats how I remember it. I didn't feel it like others. I'm not reckless by any means and I'm not an adrenalin junky but fear wasn't my enemy.

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    Replies
    1. Are you former military?
      Desensitized to fear; i concur with UKan.
      One can become conditioned to fear, used to living in conditions in fear so much that it no longer is a fear. Conditioning in a way i suppose...
      I used to be an Andrenalin junky yet not so much now that i am older.

      Delete
  120. not me... lol okay got ya.

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  121. notme 8:09:

    I've often wondered about the biological imperative to live, and why most of us seek to prevent other people's death.

    In many ways it's absurd that we save each other from dying naturally, outlaw terminating our own or other people's lives upon their request, and are obsessed with living for as long as possible as well as unnaturally lengthening each other's life spans.

    I can only imagine that we do it to improve our own quality of life, another biological imperative that increases our own chance of survival, especially with regards to maintaining the benefits of being part of a *large* tribe.

    In these modern times I believe our biological imperative to live has gone slightly haywire. Where once maladaptive babies were abandoned and left to die, in the 'civilised' West we now strive to enhance their chances of survival at the expense of their quality of life as well as that of the tribe. The same can be said for prolonging the lives of octogenarians and the terminally ill.

    Thanks to technology biological imperatives no longer have to conflict as frequently or as finally as they once did which has removed many of us from our own mortality.

    I think that may be why it's confronting for many people when a stranger dies publically or dramatically - they have no emotional attachment to them, but they do have the biological imperative to live, and the stranger's death has very likely forced them to think about their own mortality which they've not wanted to face.

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  122. Fear is your friend and your enemy. Sometimes you can't get enough, till you hit that point where you are surrounded by it. When it is relieved it feels so great. Like a orgasm. I love the risks in life. I will say I'm a adrenaline junkly.

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  123. you've basically said it all Sea witch. That's exactly how it is.
    It also ties in with the idea of the 'sanctity' of life. Our reality gets mixed up with fantasy borne of the most powerful force there is, the biological imperative to survive.

    I think it's natural for many to see suicide as horrifying, particularly those who just haven't come close to seeing their mortality yet.
    I'd say it's not an unhealthy attitude to life and death, but it causes untold problems for those who are ready to die.

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  124. Ukan, we learn a lot from you here. So let me return the favour.
    Please use 'an' before a word beginning with a vowel.

    'I will say I'm a(n) adrenaline junkly' (junkie, although a junkly sounds fun too).

    You're welcome ;)
    Hmm, do you think i'd be a good teacher?

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  125. Oh, indeed, notme.

    The pressure to avoid thinking about our own mortality in the West is incredibly sad, I think, and does indeed cause untold problems for those who are ready to die and do not receive palliative care (which is most of us.)

    I believe that's why elderly people are sidelined, maligned, and much forgotten in our society – they remind us that we're mortal.

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  126. I just got in college so ill learn all that. I don't care about my sentance structure, because what I say still has its impact. You cant deny the impact of what I've said reguardless of the ignorance of the language I speak to you.

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  127. Sea Witch. And now look at the genie pool. Every life they save complicates the future. I partly believe that, Ironically, that basic biological imperative my be what destroys the race. but thats just high me talking.

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  128. sorry, "Gene" not "Genie"

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  129. no i can't deny that Ukan. If anything, it gives you a cute side. About the only cute side we get here. hehe. I bet that makes you mad now.

    interesting thought razzmatazz. I can't say i disagree. Though i think we can destroy ourselves in various ways.

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  130. Razzmatazz, I do agree that by unnaturally prolonging or preserving our own and other people's lives that we're potentially complicating our own and other people's futures. How? I don’t think we can explicitly know that yet. But I do know of people who have been driven to take their own life by unnaturally preserving the life of another. The anguish it causes is intense.

    As far as suicide goes, the greatest tragedy as far as I'm concerned is that it's taboo to talk about wanting to end one's own life, which ironically leads many people to seek a permanent solution to temporary problems *because* they're suffering silently with their torment in intolerable isolation. It's appalling that we don't ease their pain by listening to them but contribute to their pain by gagging them instead.

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  131. Edit: But I do know of people who have been driven to take their own life *as a result of the consequences of* unnaturally preserving the life of another.

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  132. No not mad. My girl corrects my english all the time. Girls like when you have vulnerablities they can nurture. Nobody likes perfection

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  133. Sea Witch. How is easy. too many people and most of them are dumb because the dumbest ones bread instinctively and the smart one bread intelligently. Unfortunately every life is sacred so they keep breading unhealthy strains that continue to grow and sped through the gene pool. but we are talking extremely long term. Like Not Me alluded to, well probably find other wonderful ways to to extinguish our selves before we're there.

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  134. Seawitch, a response to a earlier thread, don't feel sorry for me. I am happier than most. I m accustomed to my life.

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  135. i agree with that razzmatazz. religion really doesn't help either.

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  136. What's one less human on this planet? May as well be one less dog.

    I was sick on 9-11. I watched it all on the tele. Sort of like one of those cheesy action/Tom Clancy movies. The panic, despair, heroes were all very entertaining. What I remember most was the dust. Everywhere, on everyone. Dust and ash. That was the strangest bit to me.

    My views on why I mess with people is congruent to ones already expressed by UKan and Misanthrope. Why I do it to friends and family on occasion is notated here.

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  137. was that ? to me?

    anyway, MEs just posted something new. i wasn't expecting that.

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  138. Not Me. Lol. Better not get started on religion. It's all a joke. Or a useful tool to put ones self into allot of power. Everyone thinks that Americas big religion is Christianity. No it politics and political party's. No matter its all the same... just some form of control.

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  139. Yes notme, I didn't understand what you were alluding to, sorry.

    I felt curiosity more than anything as I observed the world's reactions to 9-11 from afar – the social fallout experienced by Muslims and caused by 'moral' panic pained me most because I observed the consequences of it directly all around me.

    By the time I actually stood at Ground Zero, and looked at the debris, I had been thoroughly desensitised to the event by media saturation and was questioning the unfairness of 3,000 deaths being avenged by killing countless other innocent people in a 'war on terror.'

    Ultimately it led to my interest in the psychology of suicide bombers, and how they’re manufactured, as well as feeding into my interests in propaganda.

    The London bombings in 2005 affected me more because I was very nearby when they occurred - one of the bombers drove the bus I caught to work every day – and it was intense (although not terrifying because it felt so surreal) to be caught up in the swell of collective vulnerability.

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  140. Oh, and I always say hello to my bus drivers.

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  141. UKan if that's your description of fear then I guess I love fear. It's just like adrenaline, anticipation and excitement all rolled up into one. I've never disliked it. Someone would probably say it's one of those things that reminds us we're alive.
    It surprises me that people are so blind of their own mortality, and also of all the risks inherent in everyday life but then they go out of their way to be afraid of things like spiders and deep water.

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  142. Ok, so you have to deal with another sociopath. You assumed you were the only one and you're not. And you can't accept this sociopath but you want the rest of the world to accept you.

    Why should we accept sociopaths when sociopaths can't accept each other?

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  143. Because you're the loving, accommodating type. Go on.. It's not our fault.

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  144. Anon 4:16AM

    "You are a sociopath. I don't understand why you care enough to write a blog about this person, why is it needling you so much? Just carry on pretending, as I'm sure you do with everybody. Why is this any different?"

    Why do you people always think being a sociopath means your character and personality is cut in wood, that we're all the same? Our levels, range and depth of emotion differs and virtually nobody fits the textbook definition. That's why it's called a spectrum.

    Dunny Bit

    "I know his game, but not in a way that I have accepted that he is a psycho but in a way that he's tretaing people differently, and I'm pissed off because there is this one opportunity that I want (a managerial responsibility, added to my technical skills) that he is juts not giving. Bozo thinks I can't do it, he is in a tunnel-vision limiting me to only a part of me, not giving me a chance to enjoy myself fully"

    Your relationshipo is professional, am I correct? What makes you think M.E. has any obligation to fullfil your wish for an opportunity? "He has a tunnel-vision limiting you to only a part of you", well that's the nature of working for someone, they decide what they need you to do, not you. It's not his job to make sure you don't get limited, it's your own damn job!

    "You may be surprised how well an aspie takes honesty (unlike a socio)."

    Yeah right, that's just a postulate. Normal 'empathic' people say the same thing about themselves. Actually I've seen sociopaths take 'truths' with a calm you rarely see from any other group of people.


    I don't have time to read through everybody's comments, so I'll just say that I can certainly relate to your position, M.E.. I also think it's not very uncommon, but I can't give you any specific advice because each situation is different. Each person is different, so once it's come to where you're at now, it takes a custom made approach.

    Good point you make with the woman who writes about her problems with making her man stop solving everything so effectively. That's a situation I know very well, especially when I was younger. It kept surprising me that people never seemed to be happy when I gave them what they said they wanted. It was never enough. It's always about something called 'emotions', emotions THEY define, and if we don't deliver why then WE are wrong. I have to say I'm happy to not be in that position at the moment.

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  145. I have a sociopath colleague. Well, I suspected he was a sociopath and recently he told me so, with a candour that left me speechless.

    When we first met we spent a lot of time together. He was the funniest and most thrilling company I've ever had, although once we dated and it was the date from hell - he displayed a bit too much of a "caveman" attitude for my tastes . I think I had a big crush for him at some point and for a while I energetically pursued him, but my crush vanished when I realised that there wasn't anything underneath the endless mindgames and unrelenting competition to outsmart each other, and that he was just enjoying being run after.

    He has influenced me, done me a lot of good, always showed me a strange mix of admiration and contempt, occasional bouts of dark tenderness, used me as a trophy, then got tired of the game and signalled me that it was over.

    We still have to see each other and we can't find an equilibrium.

    Until recently:

    ...He always insisted on the "watercooler colleague" thing but I can't stand hypocrisy, especially from a person I've been really close to (at least, _I_ feel I've been close, I can't guess how reciprocal is that), and when he showed this kind of glib courtesy to me, he irritated the guts out of me (I am a normie with a short temper). So I distanced myself. When I ignored him, he stared at me with a gaze of pure hate. If I tried to get closer - and for closer I intend: to be genuinely friendly, not in a romantic sense - he would display contempt and rage. I didn't know what to do to remain myself AND minimize attrition at the same time. I ended up being very smiley and avoiding engaging in any kind of conversation with him.

    Eventually, catastrophe ensued: to make a long story short, one day out of the blue, in a non-professional context, he verbally attacked me in a truly vicious and unprovoked manner, but this time I ruinously won, he ended up storming out in tears and was visibly affected for some days after. We haven't spoken since and when he sees me he looks like he's about to faint or to puke. I am sure he's trying to recoup the defeat by bad-mouthing me around the office, but it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

    I am left with a strange sense of guilt. Sociopath or not, he was just a guy not much into me I suppose, and I had no good reason to crush him, especially when our personal relationship was minimal to start with, and now dead and long forgotten. Yes, he should have left me alone since I had made clear that I meant no harm, but let's face it: once provoked, I really jumped on the occasion with gusto. It's a victory I am proud of? No, but I can't find a reason to apologize, even if I toy with the idea to do so, sometimes. Is that the end of the feud? Have we reached an equilibrium, by just pretending we don't know each other? Alas, I fear not. I have no animosity towards the guy, and, on the romantic side, we are both seeing other people now (him knowing that I was seeing someone seems to have been the trigger of his attack: I thought it was only Narcissists that treated people as property?), but to imagine that one day we are going to shake hands and be friends ever since, it's just delusional.

    Some problems have no solution. He's a liability for me now, which is sad, considering that he is a sociopath, certainly, but an awesome guy nonetheless, whose intelligence has still my sympathy. I hope he changes job quickly.

    a.s.

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  146. Listen to Tracey Chapman. You feel better.

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    Replies
    1. I don't know what to say but I know that I am you.

      Delete
  147. Okay so there was a person above who said some problems have no solution. I can tell you that all problems have solution, and that there is always another way to do things. I can tell you what to do but I feel like that would be wrong. I will not apologize.

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  148. Like I feel like I just don't wanna scare people that's my biggest thing I don't wanna scare people.

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  149. I am He, eH ma I. Practice Satanism and I think we'll be okay.

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  150. Like I know about the rapes, I know about the murders. I know about all of that, its why I'm here. Saying sorry, asking forgiveness, giving blood, keeping faith. "Why can't they do the same?" because they're tools.

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  151. I love my tools. I love my toolshed. I love my enemies. I love judgement, i love guilt i love all of that.. incest and family healing I love all of it. Don't make me ask forgiveness out loud.

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  152. The mouth is formed out of the upper jaw and the lower jaw and inside it is a tongue. From the tongue comes the WORD. It is not what goes into your mouth that defiles you, but what comes out of it.

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  153. Say your prayers. Keep praying. Always pray and don't stop praying.

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  154. Everything the Gospel of Mark says is 100% true.

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  155. I think that M.E. would probably be best served by seeking relationships
    with people on her own developmental level.
    We are all attracted to our opposites because we believe they can
    somehow "complete" us. It doesn't work that way. You have to release
    the healthy qualities in YOURSELF first. Then (and only then) will you
    attract someone with the same healthy qualities, and NOT rely on
    someone to rescue you from yourself.
    M.E. has many admirable qualities. She probably has exceeded the
    expectations one would have based on her up bringing. When M.E.
    recounts the story of her folks just driving off and leaving her
    brother and herself at the playground to find their way home, THAT IS
    ABUSE. She might have even wondered whether they would open
    up the door for her when she got home. That may seem like small
    potato's, but that is an extremely unstable way to live. M.E.'s best
    friend was the girl who said she would forgive her anything.
    M.E. is like King Solomon. Extremely smart, but NOT very happy.
    In fact, mere intellect is NOT enough to be content.
    The L.D.S.-because of disipline-can upgrade a person's material
    well being. Just look at the backround Travis Alexander came from,
    how far he progressed. But the L.D.S.-like ALL orginized religion-
    cannot alter a person's essence. Only self examination can do that!
    M.E. must admit to herself that the reason she attracts these Asperger's types is because she is afraid she is unworthy of a healthy
    loyal man. Because of this, she sets herself up for failure in her
    relationships.
    Relax M.E. Plenty of quailty people would love you just as you are.
    Your "role" is NOT to rescue the unhealthy. Your "role" is to become the
    TRUE J.R.L. The way you do this by jettisoning M.E. and all her baggage.
    But DO retain your leagal skills. You will need a job to put food on the
    table.

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  156. Come on, this blog article describe normal social situations. We all tailor ourselfes to adapt to our surroundings. How would the world be like if we went around like the lowest animals on pure instinct? We have brains you know.

    Sounds like that Aspie M.E. describes has some personal problems. I would get rid of him/her and escalate a case if he/she bothered me.

    It is no ones job to please others to the extent of tailoring responses and actions. As long as you are not outright delivering insults and offenses, then whataever some one else thinks is theyr personal problem.

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    Replies
    1. This is different. Normally for everyone else you are still communicating on a human-human level. Same species. In this case, it's alien-alien, where each alien is a different species from each other. ME is thinks differently than you do - a sociopathic level. It is radically different in truth than standard empaths. The person she is interacting with also thinks differently - an aspie level. Also radically different.

      ME, like most sociopaths, has adapted herself. Like a proverbial wolf in sheeps clothing. But what happens when, instead of meeting another sheep, she meets an ostrich with a wool hat. What then? Aspies are a different species than neurotypical empaths. As a sociopath, you've spent your life emulating a sheep. But like a natural sheep emulator, when you try to emulate the right breed of sheep, you find none of it really matches close to ostrich.

      It's frustrating and requires significant effort, because learning to emulate the one species - sheep - has taken decades to master. This new species has different rules and a different mindset. It's one thing to emulate the ideal sheep, it's another to go back to wolf and laboriously stitch an ostrich suit by hand from scratch.

      Delete
    2. You guys should all eat green eggs and ham together, and then sit down for a group therapy session. yeah, good idea.

      Delete
    3. "AnonymousFebruary 13, 2014 at 9:17 AM"
      I understand what you are explaining. Though you still don't realize a critical point. We all adapt to society, and adapting to society is not a general process. There might be people who are born just right, but that is more luck then anything else. You talk of adapting to sheep and resembling them when you are a wolf. I get that, M.E. is a wolf, but most people still have to adjust themselfes to be a part of society if they are clear cut wolfes or not. Why do you think that many people world wide fall outside of societ? Most people are not clear cut breeds of either wolfs or sheep. Some sheep have a wolf inside them, some might be related to a complicated mix of animals.

      To have a society that works, all the different individuals have to have rules that they all follow, we have to establish common grounds, cultural commonities that we all adapt to. These cultural commonities vary from place to place, thus what is right and wrong varies from place to place. A nazi office for instance might have an entirely different idea of right and wrong, then you and I. Not think of him as a sociopath, but as an empath that adapts.

      Humanity has evolved over millions of years. Only recently have our societies become the way they are today. Once you could never know if a new person you met was going to kill you for your food and woman, or become your hunting companion. You couldn't know if a wild animal would kill you the next day, or if you would get lucky again. The world hasd for the most part been alot more different then it is today, thus the environment we have evolved in is gone. For the most part, most of us have to adapt to survive.

      Take boys for instance. They will show typical signs of male aggression and dominance at a very young age. They will fight in kindergarden, have a tendency to join gangs (caveman clans) when they get older and have fun with unlawful bad acticities. Many men, and men in general spend 20 years or more of theyr lifes to learn how to control aggression and theyr male nature to be a part of society. Many argue that western societies are getting more and more feministic, thus depriving men of theyr natural habitats.

      This is all a complicated picture.

      Delete
    4. As I said, it's different for a sociopath. Of course everyone is a special snowflake which has to adapt to other special snowflakes. What must be understood is that a sociopath literally thinks differently than neurotypicals. Radically different. The mindset is different.

      Masculinity, feminism, or an empath "on Wall Street", throw that all away. A sociopath, a more prototypical one like ME, doesn't use or care about any of that. Turning the discussion as "sociopaths are all still citizens of Sheeplandia" is a non-starter, since that is not the issue being discussed. I was talking, and relating to, how sociopaths think differently - that it is more alien at its core and inherently not fully relatable to empaths. Yes there are similarities in many cases, but there are stark differences as well. Sociopaths are not misunderstood sheep wearing sheeps clothing.

      By the way, when you said "you're missing a critical point" with an around-the-bush answer followed by "it's complicated", that's a non-answer. You are welcome to ask questions, but trying to "prove a point" for the sake of one-upping is unnecessary. I can see you had a gut reaction followed by trying to figure out a reason, but couldn't quite find one. That's ok. Just make sure to ask questions at the end. You don't need to prove anything.

      The reason why I say this as (this particular anon) I am a diagnosed high-functioning sociopath. Yes, there are actual sociopaths who comment, others who have never have committed a crime who lead successful lives, though from what I have observed there are few real ones who are regular commenters. I understand the skepticism. Posting anonymously might not help, but it is done out of understandable necessity. That's fine. However in this case, what I related was an analogy of actual thought processes. It's not hypothetical or role play. I get what ME is talking of, how she thinks aloud, because it is relatable. I have commented off her posts, and she off mine (a couple of commenter tweets, which were apt). And no that is no proof of celebrity endorsement - it's only that I get it too, that's all. Of course there are differences - I don't feel satiated out of ruining people (only ambivalent) for example. Which means I'm not her breed, just the same species. Even so, while being a different wolf, I can still tell you there are misconceptions in your statement.

      Delete
    5. "Anonymous February 14, 2014 at 9:57 AM"

      My reply to you was too long, so I put it on pastebin, you can read it here: http://pastebin.com/aHWW3zuE

      Delete
    6. Noted and accepted as you've stated in the pastebin. And yes, the confrontational structure of the comment was observed. That being said, there was no offense taken, but the reply was structured to fit the style by being a direct counter for impact. A cold analysis on my end, but in commenting in this blog I am purposely being sociopathically unfiltered.

      It is generally accepted that in reality individual people are uniquely granular and more diverse than most admit, for purposes of intellectual discussion the concepts are categorized and delineated. They are also separated from individuals, to prevent ad hominem attacks. With that as reference, when referring to empaths and sociopaths, it is with the understanding that it is "empaths/sociopaths in general". Every rule has exceptions, which as long as they are accepted as given, can allow for discussions about the rules themselves.

      In this context, it is in reference to certain inherent unique traits of "wolves" as a species. They share many traits to many species - including sheep - but are still a separate taxonomy. This was the critical point that was being referenced.

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    7. I perceive your answer as an agreement to my own opinion put in good words.

      I would like to share with you the following description:
      A collegue of mine used to be a sailer/fisherman. When at work, he and the crew could be on that boat for weeks. To amuse themselfes, they would throw meat or dead fish on the sea so that the seaguls would gather in a pack/horde fighting for food. Then they took a loaded shotgun and tried to kill as many as possible in one shot. Then they did it again. That was the game, he who killed the most in one shot won.

      I thought that sounded like an amusing game, but I guess you don't tell your psychologist about it and propably someone would stop you if you were doing this down by the docs.

      What do you think? Insensitive psychos or just men been to long away from society?

      Men been to long away from society - that opems up a bigger discussion. Have you seen what men do when they are away from society long enough. Most of them end up creating theyr own rules, very brutal ones. Thats all nice and dandy for a very long time, until they return to society. Suddenly then, and only then, they start to feel bad about all the terrible things they did. What type og interpretations do you think this open up to?

      Delete
    8. Comment:
      Didn't check for typos.
      Re-read after posting - sounds confrontational. Not intented though :)

      Delete
    9. Insensitive? Perhaps to PETA. But psychopathic, no. Shooting birds purely for sport (ie. entertainment) is common-place. The fact that it is not an official sport is irrelevant.

      And no, your last post doesn't sound confrontational.

      Delete
    10. Yes you are very right. Birds get shot for sports. Maybe not as a massacre, but still the same thing.

      Actually, I have no idea when I am being confrontational and not. Sometimes the two situations are just the same to me. Perhaps I should reflect on that some more. This is not good

      And, I am not purely sure I understand psychopathy entirely. Reading the checklist for Antisocial personality disorder and M.E.'s book is revealing, but to me it can all be twisted and mixed into traits I myself have and traits I know others have. Who are we really?

      Like I mentioned in an earlier post, why do we regret our bad actions first after we are told they are bad? We can continue killing civilisans face to face in cold blood for years, and no regret before we are home again trying to live normal lifes. Where these men different people when in war? Was it that traumatic? Or maybe all emotions and states of mind are more fluid then we think. Maybe there is a natcissist, a paranoid, a psychopath, and more, in all of us?

      I had a friend once who resembled a psychpath/sociopath. I never cared in a negative sense for the things he did, I guess because my own moral compass is damaged, and surely was then. He liked beating people, starting fights and so on. Nothing more bad then that. A little fighting was just a good way to lay down order, they way I saw it. In his eyes it was more about power, and personal satisfaction. There was something sadistic in it, he liked putting someone down and being theyr master I guess. "After the first time I beat up a guy, I could never stop, it felt so good " he told me. He was great with women. He had charms that you find only amongst one in 10 000. I could hear a woman say that she would never touch "a guy like that, " but see her ending in bed with him anyway. He was notoriously unfaithful. He could find ways to get laid almost any time he wanted.

      He lied and manipulated alot. I didn't think much of it. He was stone cold to others feelings, but not to his own. The ironic thing is that he called me the psychopath, even though i was nothing like him. He said that mostly for for fun I guess. Mixing of pereptions is so easy. Even though anyone can be cold and heartless, there might still be something there in them.

      Maybe not in M.E. and you, but I think for him. I think he did experience love (wait M.E. said the same thing, maybe that doesn't give him an aliby), I think i saw him care for a few of these women. Usually his sense of love was when the woman he was seeing was more powerful then he in the relationship. He quckly lost interest if he "won" over her. I guess that ain't what most call love?

      He was a loyal guy though, and beneficial in many ways. Yes, well, until power shifted and social relations changed. The tables turned and soon we used what we knew of each other to at least attempt to ruin each other. I didn't really care, and deep down inside I think there was not much affection to the whole deal from him either.

      Fun experience though. In my eyes he might still be just a normal guy. Maybe we were just immature assholes? At least I was, don't know about him. His personal inner is offcourse unkmown.

      So tell me anonynous, what is your perception of these descriptions?

      Delete
  157. Your Aspie is a narcissist. I can almost guarantee it. This reeks of Axis 2.

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  158. What's with all these old posts? Not sure if I should respond to something from 2011 or 2014. We all have to work on relationship skills daily , welcome to planet earth.

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  159. Dealing with aspies as a sociopath requires excessive amounts of work. I understand you exactly, having been in a similar situation. First off, humor doesn't work (glibness falls flat), and social interactivity with them is non-standard. They get fixated on certain things said, things which are atypical to what is expected during normal social interaction. Normally social interaction is a lot like ball-room dancing, except instead when you lead left, they pull right. Years of refining an adaptive mask collapse, because none of the standard algorithms really work. When I find them responding in a way I don't expect, I am left perplexed. Sometimes I have to backpedal or apologize.

    Aspies run on a different social construct, which is hard to figure out without extensive observation. Adopting a mask for it requires a whole new one constructed, essentially, from scratch. That is a lot of effort - an excessive amount. You spend years pretending to be "human", only now you must pretend to be a different "alien". It's exasperating.

    As a suggestion, try following your standard model, with a few refinements. There are obviously certain overt triggers to avoid, but outside of that, use your neutral/generic ones. Make yourself "hypoallergenic". Remember, he has to examine and interact as well - since he has to interact with the standard populace and has partially adapted to do so, you kind as we'll meet him in the middle on those grounds. Keep in mind, he is also an alien who is trying to adapt (albeit different species), so it'd be best for both of you to communicate on the one species you both normally try to emulate. Mind you it seems his ability is inferior to yours, but at least his efforts are on more familiar grounds.

    Remember, just because you are both from different planets, doesn't mean you both speak "alien-ese". The one commonality you both know at some level that can be of use is you both speak ESL. Adapt yourself as an "Intelligent Jane" and you'll send (and he'll receive) in standard English. While not perfect, it is a common basis of communication that will improve reception.

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  160. How do you know whether my pride is real or false? I'm beginning to think that my narcissism might be my love for myself. I am entitled to that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. uummm obviously ur just a narcissist...you sit here and post a zillion posts that no one responds to

      Delete
    2. Hello TMAC MSHAK. When you post, make sure you have typed all you want to type before you submit. That way you don't need that many postings. It also makes it easier to reply to your posts. If you post that many posts regarding the same thing, which one should I reply to?

      Nice boobs by the way. According to your videos you practice celibacy. You have to stop that =) Most likely only a few years of your life are lived in youth, most of your years are lived in old age or an age where your physical fitness is more and more deprived. Enjoy the years you have before it is too late, with people you see worth spending time with.

      Only my opnion.

      Delete
  161. Or God's love for me. Either way you're gonna call it narcissism because you're an outsider.

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  162. I'm really working on being equal here. Its hard!!!

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  163. Wait no I'm an Elitist. Why waste love on ingrates?

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  164. You'll never be able to please this person. Get the dumb bitch fired. I'm shocked that I even have to suggest this to a sociopath.

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    Replies
    1. Don't forget, she needs them for work-related stuff. Besides, in the end you want them to like you, not hate you. Hate has limited utility.

      Delete

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