Sunday, February 14, 2016

Probably puberty

I've been trying to get to some of my very old backlog of emails from almost two years ago. It's interesting because most people no longer care about whatever they wrote me about (e.g. my sociopath boy/girlfriend/boss/ex/parent/etc.) Some of the most interesting replies, however, are coming from people who wondered if they weren't a little sociopathic themselves. (By the way, I have stopped opining myself on this question from people -- I don't feel like I'm anywhere near a credible source, but I realize that most people who ask me do not have access to professional psychological help so I figure we can try to help a little by crowdsourcing our experiences. I know some of you hate those posts. Sorry, but as long as I think it helps people to figure things out even just a little bit, I'll probably keep posting them, as it is literally the least I could do. Compromise? You can skip reading them and I promise I won't have my feelings hurt?)

Probably not surprising to most, there's a good portion of these am-I-a-sociopath people that no longer wonder because they no longer experience those tendencies. To put it perhaps too broadly, it was just phase. I actually have been enjoying hearing back from these people because I think it helps put things in perspective for those people who are currently where they were almost two years ago.

For example, from a reader in answer to my question if he would still like a substantive reply from me:

Haha no it's all good. Long time passed, lessons learned. To be honest, I just wanted to be different and the label of sociopath was a good excuse at the time. I realized that I'm not a sociopath, I'm simply amazed by the sociopathic type. I learned that I'm fixated with welcoming the unknown. I find a melancholic beauty in things considered taboo, immoral, dark, forbidden and sadistic (such as death and dying). Even though a sum of people consider me to be a source of emotional comfort (I get really deep really fast and find out things, that some people tell me they don't tell people), I enjoy watching people suffer in almost anyway possible but! It tends to be a win win thing. so what I'm doing isn't considered wrong even though sometimes I do question my own motives but! You don't need to be a sociopath to feel comforted by death. But thank you kindly for replying haha I'm a little surprised that you did

PS. I'm in the process of acquiring a degree in psychology (feel free to tell me to fuck off, feel free to not reply) but if I ever have to write a paper on sociopaths, mind if I send you some non-relative to this conversation questions?

PPS. It probably was puberty.

Good luck to all of you out there trying to figure it out. 

28 comments:

  1. Personally, I wouldn't let popular opinion sway what blog posts you put up M.E.. People will say what they want to say on the matter or not, and if the blog post isn't a appealing topic we clearly generate our own conversation topics regardless if whether or not the blog post is appealing to talk about. The topics you do talk about certainly matter, as made evident with the many quality posts you make, but perhaps it might be fair to say the ones about people questioning their personality are not very useful; In my opinion at some point if you recognize those traits within yourself, that you're a sociopath, there is nothing more you can do but embrace yourself as you are and continue on with life as you see fit. To do otherwise is to needlessly ruminate upon what about you you can't change, and if people were better informed it does not absolutely have to be a bad thing at all. We are all born as we are meant to be.

    ESTP Sociopath

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    Replies
    1. I don't object to such posts per se, just only if there's actually something worth discussing from them. The stuff obviously written by young teenagers with bad grammar just describing the typical puberty stuff isn't even worth debating imo, but every so often there is one of those posts with actual substance there. I guess whenever anyone writes in to ask the opinion of ME that in itself makes me doubt that they are a socio because the fact that they care or are worried about it in itself kinda suggests they aren't

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  2. I am no expert and I'm not a sociopath but they seem to indeed be a sociopath. They are normalizing their traits. And over a period of two years that seems a natural progression. They haven't changed or come out of a phase but it appears they have grown more comfortable with their sociopath traits.

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  3. One can rephrase all these "am I a sociopath" questions to something like "You know all those things Mom and Dad (or your teacher or priest etc) used to tell me to stay away from, well I like them a lot and don't see why I shouldn't. I don't know or care (or both) why the adults (i.e. mature, serious people) say keep away. All I know is I'm happy being *rational* and not emotional (my way of saying I sold my integrity) and now that I found a blog full of *smart* (solipsistic) people, I want some confirmation that I'm in the cool gang. So, am I cool?"

    As for the narcissists who accuse me of narcissism: as I've repeatedly said, I attribute any good & helpful comments that may come from me to God. Anything beyond that - unnecessarily strident or mistaken is due to my own shortcomings. Of course this is all white noise to you because more than likely you're doing what you do best: lie & deceive.

    Come back to reality people. How can you knowingly go down this road? Seriously HOW does one do that and still have any self-respect? Or is it that you sell that too for your lust & a false sense of "power"?

    Psychopaths are literally like children except they're fully aware of the ethical implications of their actions. Imagine looking at human civilization from an outsider's perspective. They'll look at psychos and say "these guys are literally like a virus among these people...they only do what satisfies their base instincts are actively destroy their civilizations." Oh wait, there are "outsiders" looking in at our civilization...they're egging you on and helping you sell yourselves and destroy your civilizations. They pick the ones they know will sellout for a cheap price and then use them to delude others. The cheap sellouts get to feel special and powerful when in reality they're the exact opposite.

    Come back to reality. God is in control don't fear anything else.

    Peace.

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    1. (Part 1)

      "All I know is I'm happy being *rational* and not emotional (my way of saying I sold my integrity) and now that I found a blog full of *smart* (solipsistic) people, I want some confirmation that I'm in the cool gang. So, am I cool?""

      Sociopathy is a naturally reoccurring personality type in humanity due to genetics, and I'm beginning to think environmental factors is simply away of explaining the maladaptive coping mechanisms to meet the bottomline of what society expects of normal people; "the mask of normalcy" is a learned skill, other antisocial behaviors would be a convenient short cut to acquire direct benefits, furthering desires, and protecting one's own best interests. We cannot cure our personality traits, and should not have to because it is not the true issue so much as what we do for ourselves that is self destructive. It's a matter of building a better model of perception of reality to have adaptive coping mechanisms, and to let go of the contempt we hold for society for what we were born as. It's society's toxic beliefs, superficial morals that are mostly self serving to meet bottomline expectations, and thus the environmental factors that "shrivels and blackens our hearts". If you think we're the "cool club", doesn't that speak so much more about you then it does about us?

      ESTP Sociopath

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    2. (Part 2)

      "as I've repeatedly said, I attribute any good & helpful comments that may come from me to God. Anything beyond that - unnecessarily strident or mistaken is due to my own shortcomings. Of course this is all white noise to you because more than likely you're doing what you do best: lie & deceive."

      Using a deity to excuse your narcissist sadism, effectively using the "perfect storm" figure of speech, verbal harassment in attempt to deflect your own lack of accountability for your misbehavior onto me and everyone else and assuming we're incapable of honesty. Typical narcissist manipulation tactics.

      ESTP Sociopath

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    3. (Part 3)

      "Come back to reality people. How can you knowingly go down this road?"

      As some would know, sociopaths like myself and M.E. Thomas are making progress to shed our maladaptive coping mechanisms. Sociopathy cannot be cured, but we can educate ourselves so that we can have a better model of perception of reality to more efficiently adapt in less self destructive ways.

      ESTP Sociopath

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    4. (Part 4)

      "Psychopaths are literally like children except they're fully aware of the ethical implications of their actions. Imagine looking at human civilization from an outsider's perspective. They'll look at psychos and say "these guys are literally like a virus among these people...they only do what satisfies their base instincts are actively destroy their civilizations." Oh wait, there are "outsiders" looking in at our civilization...they're egging you on and helping you sell yourselves and destroy your civilizations. They pick the ones they know will sellout for a cheap price and then use them to delude others. The cheap sellouts get to feel special and powerful when in reality they're the exact opposite."

      Devaluation, slander with false information, more slander by implying that sociopathy is a choice so people can hide in plain sight their whole lives knowing risk of ostracism, implying sociopathy confers specialness when in fact it's just another naturally reoccurring personality due to genetics; it's not "winning the lottery" at all, it's a personality type that possibly lowers quality of life due to various factors. This is more narcissist sadism coming from you.

      ESTP Sociopath

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    5. "Come back to reality. God is in control don't fear anything else."

      We already live in reality, it's "madness without delirium" as some sources would put it. Your perception of God is a facet of your false sense of self, to impose your belief that people lack free will over our own lives and in effect you're extending that power role to yourself, trying to deny our free will to feed your malignant narcissism.

      You don't deceive me, narcissist, or anyone on this blog. Your motivations and weaknesses seem quite clear to me. Your blind arrogance that leads you to mistreat others for the sake of getting your narc' supply is pretty much clear as day; based on the crowdsourced overall opinion of you and my own best critical analysis of you, I think it's safe to say you're a malignant narcissist.

      ESTP Sociopath

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    6. My god! What wisdom! What excellence!
      Praise the lord!

      How could I have been so blind? I never thought sociopathy was just a matter of simple choice. So easy! Let's disregard all that we know and listen to Jonaid! He's the expert of experts, he knows all there is to know!
      Watch out, everyone! Jonaid's coming and he's gonna change history with his all-encompasing wisdom concerning sociopathy!

      I was on a dark, corrupted path of satan. Raping, killing, stealing, those are just some of the "talents" I used to have. I was so bad, I would've went to hell and taken it over!

      The moment I laid my eyes upon this unselfish blessed comment, undeniably bristling with wisdom, was the exact moment I was enlightened!
      I was so goodified, a golden light of redemption appeared, engulfing my sinful body and soul, a cleansing beam completely scrubbing away all my rottenness and filthiness!
      I was lost, but now I am found!
      I was blind, but now I can see!
      I hath called, for thy Lord, and thy Lord, answered!
      Suddenly, the walls around my house turned into nothingness, and He came, thundering down like a million trucks! He came down, to bring me a message! It took me 4573 years, 7 months, 23 days, 15 hours, 39 minutes, 55 seconds, 666 milliseconds, but finally, it was clear to me... Clear as Everclear!

      I bring you His message;

      Hahahhahahahahahhahahahha! Jonaid, you are one of the most determined ignoramus dimwits I have ever seen! My god, your life must be so pathethic and boring for you to come here and spread your hate-fueled propaganda drivel. What is it you hope to accomplish? No way in hell anybody's gonna listen to you. But if you enjoy wasting your time, making us laugh and facepalm, well, then... Dance, monkey, dance!

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    7. Why do people who believe in god still exist? Why don't you just go "up" there and join him... :)

      Delete
  4. I remember coming to this site a few years ago, trying to figure out why I attracted the sociopathic-type spectrum or the dramatic cluster b's. I never saw the bad in them ever (while some act like assholes yes, many others are really genuinely good people {too true}. Just like the neaurotypicals. (Some of them act like assholes while many others are genuinely good people.) I don't discriminate. I new I was one from a young age (a cluster b) I just didn't understand who I was ( my my essence) until the psychology community had more info about our cluster b traits. We fall into more of the traits than the average neaurotypical individual. I always saw a different type of empathetic response from people like us. But many people I conversed with had blinders to what I saw ( the neaurotypicals). It was a different type of empathy. Some were more to the extreme of emotional empathy while another type had more of a cognitive emotional response in dealing with situations. For myself, having bpd/ocd and falling into some hypo-manic traits aswell as high functioning Aspergers traits slowed down the process how I related to people -- but at the same time I could really relate to people and many truly felt safe with me in opening up, fast. I realized my talents and giftings along the way. I am who I am, I just have to keep accessing healthier outlets because I need stimulation. I need to be sarcastic within reason too, I need fun, I blurt out. But I need serious, I need to act accordingly, within reason of course. Then I just need me time where no one else exists on the planet. I'm always better equipped in relating to people when I find my own solitude.

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  5. In the name of God, The Merciful, The Compassionate.

    "One Day We shall remove the mountains, and thou wilt see the earth as a level stretch, and We shall gather them, all together, nor shall We leave out any one of them.

    And they will be marshaled before thy Lord in ranks, (with the announcement), "Now have ye come to Us (bare) as We created you first: aye, ye thought We shall not fulfill the appointment made to you to meet (Us)!":

    And the Book (of Deeds) will be placed (before you); and thou wilt see the sinful in great terror because of what is (recorded) therein; they will say, "Ah! woe to us! what a Book is this! It leaves out nothing small or great, but takes account thereof!" They will find all that they did, placed before them: And not one will thy Lord treat with injustice.

    Behold! We said to the angels, "Bow down to Adam": They bowed down except Iblis. He was one of the Jinns, and he broke the Command of his Lord. Will ye then take him and his progeny as protectors rather than Me? And they are enemies to you! Evil would be the exchange for the wrong-doers!

    I called them not to witness the creation of the heavens and the earth, nor (even) their own creation: nor is it for helpers such as Me to take as lead (men) astray!

    One Day He will say, "Call on those whom ye thought to be My partners," and they will call on them, but they will not listen to them; and We shall make for them a place of common perdition.

    And the Sinful shall see the fire and apprehend that they have to fall therein: no means will they find to turn away therefrom."

    Qur'an 18:47-52


    Some people - and they know who they are (so if you're confused you're not one of them) - are as described in verse 50. They literally sell themselves knowingly to someone who hates their guts and their entire race. Imagine being an African slave 300 years ago. A white racist picks you and says "You're not like the other darkies here. You're smart and capable and can be white like me if you do what I say. I want you to help me ruin the rest of these darkies until they all love me like you do or else they'll be killed." The real psychopaths are like these hypothetical slaves who sign up for this knowingly and happily. You might start realizing now why hell exists.

    Peace.

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  6. Oh no-here we go.:(

    ESTP...you are "The One"...

    ~Vegas

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  7. ESTP-It was good to read, what you think "the deal" is with Jonaid-I've been trying to figure it out, all this time...

    ~Vegas

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    1. ESTP-I've never seen anyone persist the way Jonaid does, in my lifetime...

      ~Vegas

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    2. Yes, it happens. I'm currently dealing with a narcissist in close proximity to me in fact, someone I thought I might have considered a friend, the same friend I spoke of before that I thought was worth coming out to. I suppose I should've taken more consideration of my analysis of her, I brushed it off as a possible cognitive projection of mine. We've worked closely together in the past, as I was clever enough with my manipulation of her. I thought it was worth investing in her, she even offered to get in contact with the alleged crime family she's connected with if I ever needed the help for whatever reason. Now though she's betrayed my trust in her by taking malicious action against me to jeopardize my life, all over some petty miscommunication. I'm confident in my ability to acquire the positive outcome I want out of this though. So yes, I'm all too familiar with dealing with narcissists. I even grew up under the toxic influence of one, my own mother. Mothers are supposed to set a better example, yes? Her narcissism allowed for a home environment under which I developed many of my maladaptive coping mechanisms; she did everything she was capable of doing, however maladaptive, to support me and my brother as we were growing up. I'm surprised she didn't take more action with my brother though, with his compulsive serial killing of domestic pets and his tendency to be violent towards others. Disappearing kittens, cats, snakes, etc. He'd show me some of his kills and I'd look at them as art I suppose, the state of beauty to me in death is just as appealing in the living to me. Why my mother was passive about it I could only guess was because she tried to maintain the facade of a normal family life.

      ESTP Sociopath

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  8. Well, now. *That* was gratuitous, narcissist.

    Speaking of narcissism, don't pretend that you didn't just use that silly little morsel of supply to launch into your own brand of it. :P

    You don't jeopardize someone's life over a "petty miscommunication", tool.

    I don't come here much anymore, and I can't be bothered to sort through all of your self-indulgent rambling to piece together a coherent back-story, but it sounds to me as though this woman you refer to is the one who has been manipulating you. And now that you've bared your throat, she's tightening the screws.

    Your autobiographical spewing shows me that you want desperately to be known. This person has uncovered your weakness, and is now attempting to leverage it against you.

    The moral of your story? Don’t take someone who is your intellectual equal as a confidante, unless you are certain you can trust them with your life.

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    Replies
    1. ^That was for ESTP.

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    2. I suppose you're entitled to your own opinion, A, previously before I was going by ESTP Sociopath I wrote a post about career exploration of possibly getting into psychology, and your opinion was that I'm indeed a sociopath according to your analysis of me, and I liked your suggestion of entrepreneur. If you want to withdraw that opinion, that's fine. You'll think what you want to think of me, as everyone will.

      If it helps to give clarification, I was quite stoned while writing that and as another poster took note of is that I apparently go into a lot of depth while stoned. It might be that?

      As much as I manipulate other people, they seem to be just as capable of manipulating me by falsifying their own emotional output, convincingly lying, and so on.

      I was taking a leap of faith I suppose, on trusting her. We were out together on the streets helping each other survive, and at the time I guess her narcissism didn't really bother me. Her dreams of becoming famous and her two thousand plus Facebook followers just seemed charming I guess, I decided to not ruminate too deeply on it.

      ESTP Sociopath

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    3. Haha! Your narcissism doesn't preclude your sociopathy, but it *is* your blind spot. When I first came here, I did exactly as you are doing.

      Might your lack of rumination have had something to do with your genitals? :)

      You are vain, too easily swayed by hollow flattery.

      ::toke, toke, pass::

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    4. When I'm stoned I really notice I want to get deep into conversation, and I've had some of the best conversations that way. We talk, talk, and talk...

      According to some people, narcissistic qualities are a part of sociopathy but by no means entirely defining it; grandoise sense of self, megalomania. I have enough humility to admit to having those flaws.

      I do like to take fair critical consideration of flattery, in case there's possibly a ulterior motive behind it so I can take a better approach. Otherwise if nothing seems amiss I just take it for its face value and think nothing more of it.

      I notice with most other men they've got noticeable egos, and maybe I'm not a exception to that.

      ::toke, toke, pass::

      ESTP Sociopath

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  9. More people need to be on http://sociopath-community.com/

    !!! it used to be connected to this blog but was disconnected over a year ago. We need fresh blood and lots of interesting things have happened recently that will go down in the forum's history!

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    ReplyDelete
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