Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Stranger than fiction

I ran across this older than a year email and remembered again how there were some people who absolutely could not believe that the book was nonfiction. I never could understand why that was. I think this from a reader provides at least one plausible explanation (another reason why I actually like the premise of that iZombie tv show -- people really are living in such different brains from each other):

I was informed of your website and subsequently your book by a friend and former colleague.  We worked together for almost 10 years and at some point realized we had a lot of common world views and didn't understand peoples emotional attachments to supposed negative actions.

As we peeled away layers of our friendship it became clear that we had both "cheated" on boyfriends and felt nothing that would constitute shame.  That was only the tip of the iceberg.  We kept so many of each other's secrets and still do.  I get nothing out of gossip and know it serves me better to keep her secrets as much as it serves her to keep mine.

When people see us together they assume we are on our own planet.  We are very well liked individually and collectively and are two of the smartest people I'm aware of.  We often joked about how things would easier if certain people were dead.  It wasn't that we would actually kill them, but just a logical fact that it would be easier if something killed them.  What prevented us from any wrongdoing ever was not our moral bias but our awareness of the consequences.

We joked a lot about being sociopaths and started to really look into it.  Well before I came across your book, I already knew.  Here's the thing.  I've read a lot of bad reviews of the book wherein people are shocked that someone would try to pass that off as nonfiction.  I merely read it as written confirmation of everything I have ever known about the way I think.  However, it messes with their construct of a functional person.  It reads like a hoax to them when it is anything but.

Additionally, I have met others like my friend and I.  It's something subtle that I can pick up on.  Maybe they haven't figured out why they are different yet.  They're always smarter and ask questions I would have asked.  I'm drawn to them and after each and every meeting, I text that friend and say.  "I've found another.  So and so is one of us."  I tell no one.  I thrive more on keeping the secret to myself and I feel a little less alone.

You said you would tell me who you are. You know who I am.  Feel free to use any of this on your website. For all I care, you can make me the face of non-violent sociopaths.  I'll take everyone on because I like the challenge and no one is going to take me seriously anyway, much to their own demise.

34 comments:

  1. No wonder you identify with the book so much. Your letter is dripping with narcissism and reeks of that particular stench that is the desperate need for validation.
    You want so badly to be recognised as the most special of snowflakes.

    You. Are. Such. A. Cliche.

    Face of non-violent narcissism more like it.

    Agree with you on one thing, it is very hard indeed to take you seriously.
    Get over yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband who left me over 3 months now, we got married for more than 7 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. So i decided to tell my co-worker and when i told her shell told me that there is a Psychic spell caster named Priest ALLI that i should contact him that he can solve my problems. So she gave me his email and his website and i contacted Priest ALLI and explained everything that has happen to him. And he only tell me not to worry that my husband was going to come back to me just as he left i thought it was a joke. But it was a surprise to me when it happen the way Priest ALLI said it. Now i am a leaving testimony to what Priest ALLI can do. So if you are passing through similar problem just as i was you can as well contact Priest ALLI i know he will still solve your problem as well. Here is Priest ALLI email ALLISPELLHELP@GMAIL.COM or his website on You call also call his telephone number +2348149158514

      Delete
    2. i am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband who left me over 3 months now, we got married for more than 7 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. So i decided to tell my co-worker and when i told her shell told me that there is a Psychic spell caster named Priest ALLI that i should contact him that he can solve my problems. So she gave me his email and his website and i contacted Priest ALLI and explained everything that has happen to him. And he only tell me not to worry that my husband was going to come back to me just as he left i thought it was a joke. But it was a surprise to me when it happen the way Priest ALLI said it. Now i am a leaving testimony to what Priest ALLI can do. So if you are passing through similar problem just as i was you can as well contact Priest ALLI i know he will still solve your problem as well. Here is Priest ALLI email ALLISPELLHELP@GMAIL.COM or his website on You call also call his telephone number +2348149158514

      Delete
    3. Are you searching the internet looking for a sincere and honest spell caster?then search no further and quickly contact this great man who helped me cast a spell to cure my fibroid to enable me get pregnant just within two days after my ex had earlier abandoned me for another girl because i am unable to get pregnant he also helped me cast a spell to help me bring him back home and now we are happy again and we have a baby boy.You too can contact this great man on,FINALSOLUTIONSPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM or FINALSOLUTIONSPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM call his mobile number on +2347034249441.

      Delete
  2. Presently, this IS the Sociopathic States Of America.
    We have "dumbed down" morality in ways that would shock people in
    generations past. Everything is "justifiable" in the name of "rights."
    People offer lame excuses for shoddy behavior and dishonesty.
    The end justifies the means. "Thuggery" is a "civil right."
    If you were a guest in my home, and detected the oder of a rotting carcuss
    which I threw a rug over, and occasionally sprayed the room with air freshener,
    and said, "Smell? What smell?" you'd have a clue about America 2015.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Odor. Carcass. Spelling.
    ...
    Don't be too angry with America. She's going in the right direction. Empires must fall in order for new orders to rise.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ajay kumar
    Lived in Adilabad,Andhra Pradesh

    I suppose there is a normal number of sociopaths every where in the world, including southern India. Welcome to the club. So you have anything more interesting to say besides a long list of spam links? No? Well, have you considered offing yourself?

    ReplyDelete
  5. That describes my experience reading the book as well; just confirmation of my own thoughts and experiences.

    I don't think recognizing this or even writing such a letter indicates a need for validation, at least not any more so than most other human interactions, and certainly not any more than writing an anonymous post sneering about someone else's validation issues.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol!
      You've missed the point entirely, Bot. But you felt the same as her and felt the need to defend.

      The letter is dripping with narcissism and need for validation.
      The talk about being the smartest person; about cheating on a boyfriend and (shock) not being the slightest bit sorry; the veiled hints of all the very naughty things done but kept secret; the talk of being too smart to actually do anything too naughty etc, etc, etc. All the way to the end where she essentially proclaims herself as the glorious face of non-violent sociopaths. A glowing beacon for people to follow. Or not take seriously to their own detriment...so many cliches in one little letter.

      And yes, I did particularly love the last parts.

      If this letter does not indicate to you the extraordinary need for approval and validation, but rather for normal interaction, then I can't help but wonder what kind of people you surround yourself with :)

      Personally, I don't give a rat's ass about the book. No matter how my curiosity might get piqued occasionally, I find it so boring and disappointing that I have never been able to come even close to finishing it.

      Delete
    2. Green eyes :* I think that may be you - not sure thou. I enjoy reading ur thoughts if it is you. You see things as they are.

      Both HB & you just made some valid points. Like M.E. mentioned up above ".....people really are living in such different brains from each other..."

      Delete
    3. Maybe we need to see from both angles.

      Delete
    4. Bits and pieces resonate.

      I think the main issue here is that people assume persons with low empathy are automatically sociopaths, which is not the case. They never get up to any wrongdoing because they don't want to get caught. Sure, they cheated on their boyfriends and felt nothing, but were they discovered?

      Rational people make up a minority of the population, but they're not all sociopaths. I haven't read M.E.'s book yet (sorry), but I did buy it (you're welcome). Whatever anyone has to say about her, she is intelligent and rational, and separating those aspects of her personality from sociopathy is not feasible. So, a number of people are going to read her book and relate to the isolation that comes from being a thinker in a sea of feelers, falsely assuming they are sociopaths.

      That's my two cents.

      Delete
    5. Hi Superchick :D

      Wonderful to hear from you again.
      I hope life has been very good to you and your family.

      Thank you for the compliment. I always enjoy reading your thoughts as well.
      Regardless of your upbringing or the inclination towards destructive actions, you seem to have embraced your darkness, channelled the energy constructively. Grown and evolved into a better person, a good mother and wife.
      You seem to strive to understand and help others.
      I admire that.

      Yes, we are all different. But I must say it still amazes me how certain traits make people behave so very similarly to one another.
      And yes, I completely agree with Nameless that there will be people reading the book and recognising that isolation and falsely identifying with sociopaths.

      Some will even start looking into their experiences and trying very hard to colour it with sociopath paints:
      Stealing a candy bar as a child becomes clear cut evidence of delinquency, in their mind.
      Burning ants with a magnifying glass or strapping a cherry bomb to a frog is suddenly evidence of sadistic nature.
      Not doing an assignment and getting the teacher to buy the bullshit excuse that they were distraught because grandma died is suddenly evidence of a highly manipulative nature.
      You get what I am trying to say.

      Problem comes when these confused people start wanting the label enough that they start going out of their way to make it fit.. slashing and burning. Hurting themselves and others. All for want of a label that makes them feel more powerful. Gives them not only a convenient excuse for fucking up in the past, but to keep going down that road.
      Pretty pathetic, if you ask me.

      Then of course we have the narcissistic, like the woman who wrote in. They see all those "traits" in themselves, then proclaim themselves to be The Face of Non-Violent Sociopaths.
      Some of them then set off on the quest to redefine sociopaths, based upon how they themselves are.
      Fucking wankers have no idea how cliché they sound or how annoying they are in their quest for validation.

      Oh and please feel free to call me Kat if you wish. It is my (real enough) name. Although Green eyes or Bite Me are good too.


      Nameless, very well said.
      "relate to the isolation that comes from being a thinker in a sea of feelers, falsely assuming they are sociopaths" I love that.
      You have a bit of poet in you :)

      Delete
    6. You also felt the need to defend, Anon. See how that works?

      Is it narcissism to state a self-aggrandizing fact? Depends on context I guess, but it seemed appropriate enough for this kind of letter.

      Delete
    7. There is a marked difference between defensiveness and explaining a point to someone who clearly missed it, Bot :)

      Agreed, stating one fact, no matter how aggrandizing, does not point to narcissism. But as I explained to you, a collection of cliches, as well as proclaiming herself to be the face of non-violent sociopaths, does.

      This kind of letter? She could easily have said what she wanted to: that she understands why people might think it was a work of pure fiction and that she identifies with the book, without all that.
      But she had to.
      I am pointing out how deeply narcissistic she sounds and that it is indeed very hard to take her seriously.
      If her delicate ego cannot take it, then perhaps she should show me just how it is to my own demise...

      Delete
    8. Given that the e-mail is over a year old, the writer's pride likely was sorely wounded by the lack of response.

      I think it's the purported specialness that points to narcissism, the fact that she recognizes qualities in herself and others that seem to place her in a caste above. She is different, sure, but being different does not make her superior.

      I have interacted with people who saw complementary qualities in me, but they assume introspection approaches self-omniscience, and often I am blind to my own faults, traits, and strengths. So, they speak as if we hold some shared, unspoken secret (I'm certain I've done the same), yet only one half of the pair is privy to that secret.

      Delete
    9. Thanks Kat, always pleasure to see you on here. :))

      You said :

      " Some will even start looking into their experiences and trying very hard to colour it with sociopath paints:
      Stealing a candy bar as a child becomes clear cut evidence of delinquency, in their mind. 
      Burning ants with a magnifying glass or strapping a cherry bomb to a frog is suddenly evidence of sadistic nature.
      Not doing an assignment and getting the teacher to buy the bullshit excuse that they were distraught because grandma died is suddenly evidence of a highly manipulative nature. 
      You get what I am trying to say. "

      Yes, I totally see what your saying. :D Both empaths/ sociopaths fall into these particular traits. Labels have way too much significance now because one can look into a DSM book and probably diagnose themselves with multiple disorders depending on their particular season of life and maturity level with coping whether you lean more aspd or not. The OP does come across as a immature narcissistic bragger looking it from the perspective you propose. She'll meet her own match -- for her own good one day. I know I did. Best thing for anyone is to hault the pride in them just a tad. It always can come before a fall.

      Delete
    10. Kat, the funny thing is that children strapping cherry bombs onto frogs was the exact example given of a sadistic nature in the book 'The Sociopath Next Door'.

      The best thing about having this 'label' is that I no longer have to try to fit a square peg into a round hole. For instance, when my wife and daughter died two months apart I spent hours trying to cry. When I finally did I just felt stupid. I couldn't figure out why I felt so indifferent to something so traumatic. Now I'm no longer worried.

      Also, after years of criminal activity I finally landed two well paying stable jobs, yet I still felt the urge to commit crime again. Now that I know what I am I can channel those urges in a more positive direction (or at least a less destructive one).

      This revelation also explained why so many of my one night stands became stalkerish and long term exes hate my guts. The former was superficial charm mistaken for real affection. The latter was because superficial charm will only fool someone for so long. I now know how to keep women at arm's length and have avoided a lot of headaches because of it.

      Once you know your true nature the next step is to harness it for the best possible effect. Not use it as an excuse for self destruction.

      Delete
    11. Hello there,

      Lol! That explains a little why my family started screaming that I'm a sociopath after reading Stout's damned book.
      I still say it's usually just kids being kids. Exploring the world slightly differently than others.

      A problem only if it is an outlet for rage they don't see other ways of expressing.

      It was curiosity that drove me to maim and kill animals. My rage was only satisfied when I managed to cause my family pain.

      I know what you mean about sabotaging yourself. Could never quite resist playing little games, stealing, turning people against each other for fun... no matter how much I liked my work.

      "Once you know your true nature the next step is to harness it for the best possible effect. Not use it as an excuse for self destruction."

      Absolutely!

      Putting ego aside, taking a long, hard look in that dreaded mirror and facing a brutally honest inventory of strengths and weaknesses, requires great strength in itself.
      Doing what needs to be done to address the issues requires integrity as well.

      I admire people who can do that.

      As for your loss, working in oncology taught me that people grieve in different ways. It is an unfortunate tendency of some to project their own needs onto the grieving party and make them feel worse for doing what is simply natural for *them*. Hinders the process.

      Crying feels natural for many, by certainly not all.
      Doesn't mean you loved them any less or that there is something wrong with you.
      Fuck what others want you to do. It is your loss, deal with it however it feels right.

      Grinning and humming "ding, dong the witch is dead" whilst posing for a selfie at the funeral would make me raise an eyebrow, but not much short of that.

      I would love to hear more about you.

      Kat

      Delete
    12. Are you searching the internet looking for a sincere and honest spell caster?then search no further and quickly contact this great man who helped me cast a spell to cure my fibroid to enable me get pregnant just within two days after my ex had earlier abandoned me for another girl because i am unable to get pregnant he also helped me cast a spell to help me bring him back home and now we are happy again and we have a baby boy.You too can contact this great man on,FINALSOLUTIONSPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM or FINALSOLUTIONSPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM call his mobile number on +2347034249441.

      Delete
  6. When I was young and had a young and stupid gf, I ended in a bit of a drama with a male friend of hers. He assumed, as you do, that taking a step into my territory was a potentially pleasurable act. Now you can always argue that my ex gf could have used her brains, but that doesn't stop me from loosing my mind on both of them.

    I think of it this way;
    You can show your finger to plenty of people in traffic, cut them off and be a real asshole. But if you keep on doing it, one day you will meet someone that lets his
    inhibitions go and doesn't think of consequences. When that happens, you might be in a tough spot.

    In my case I did jailtime for hammering up with them. Can't say it was worth it, but it was damn pleasurable.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nightcrawler movie. The main fictive character is supposed to be..a sociopath? He walks/moves slightly robotic. His eyes stare. He gives "salestalk" (glib stuff). He does not like people and sees them as expendable. Because of this: its a psychopath. Well, yes. But surely it has to be one of the worst ever "painted" in cinema? Almost like if a movie character had the word "socio" written on his forehead so nobody could claim it was not? And the "controversial" point of it all: cynics profit from media. Well yes. That would have been hot in..1966? -74?

    ReplyDelete
  8. One of the things that caught my attention about what you said is that you've never done any of the things you've thought about for fear of the consequences. I am a female in my twenties and was diagnosed with aspd a couple years ago and one of the main characteristics of aspd that I displayed which led to this was extreme impulsivity absent fear of consequence. That is one of the most noted traits according to the doctor I saw and upon further research on the subject it actually states that many people are misdiagnosed as bipolar because of this maniac behavior. I'm not speaking for everyone bc each of us are different but I'm just saying that the opitome and actual name of this disorder means to defy social norms which also includes authority figures( at least for me). Not saying you are or are to but I think some of you should talk to a professional before self diagnosing. If not true and you let it get to your head that might not be entirely healthy

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't think she meant she feared the consequence but rather the consequences weren't worth the actions. A smart sociopath does not potentially give up their freedom because they believe the world would be better for them short a particular person. I think a sociopath finds more pleasure in being free (don't we all?) and being in jail for murder per se, would hinder their ability to do as they please. I mean, that's rather depressing for a neurotypical. I would imagine for a sociopath it's damn near painful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lord above...

      "What prevented us from any wrongdoing ever was not our moral bias but our awareness of the consequences."

      That right there is freedom to you?

      It is clearly fear of consequences to the point that she never allowed herself to do anything really wrong.

      Just as Aisforapathy beautifully pointed out, sociopaths tend to be impulsive, to have little fear of consequences.

      You jumped straight into murder, per se?
      There is a fucking hell of a lot on the scale between raping someone with a spiked 15 inch dildo, then peeling their skin off slowly and feeding it to them...and being so "aware" of consequences that she never really does anything.

      That fear is also indicative of why she so desperately longs for the label of sociopath. It would make her feel strong, powerful. Not the fearful, pathetic creature who sounds almost guilty for saying she wishes someone was dead.

      Freedom is not living in a cage made of your fears.

      Delete
  10. I don't think we should incarcerate sociopaths, particularly the pretty ones.
    We should take Casey Anthony, Jodi Arias, and Amanda Knox and put
    them up in a villa. They should have ALL their material needs met, but have
    no contact with anybody but themselves. They should have cameras on them
    24/7, so we can watch from home. We will see if they can stand each other's
    company, and how long it would take until they are at each other's bodies, and
    throats.

    ReplyDelete


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    ReplyDelete
  14. i am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband who left me over 3 months now, we got married for more than 7 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. So i decided to tell my co-worker and when i told her shell told me that there is a Psychic spell caster named Priest ALLI that i should contact him that he can solve my problems. So she gave me his email and his website and i contacted Priest ALLI and explained everything that has happen to him. And he only tell me not to worry that my husband was going to come back to me just as he left i thought it was a joke. But it was a surprise to me when it happen the way Priest ALLI said it. Now i am a leaving testimony to what Priest ALLI can do. So if you are passing through similar problem just as i was you can as well contact Priest ALLI i know he will still solve your problem as well. Here is Priest ALLI email ALLISPELLHELP@GMAIL.COM or his website on You call also call his telephone number +2348149158514

    ReplyDelete
  15. i am here to give testimony of how i got back my husband who left me over 3 months now, we got married for more than 7 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. So i decided to tell my co-worker and when i told her shell told me that there is a Psychic spell caster named Priest ALLI that i should contact him that he can solve my problems. So she gave me his email and his website and i contacted Priest ALLI and explained everything that has happen to him. And he only tell me not to worry that my husband was going to come back to me just as he left i thought it was a joke. But it was a surprise to me when it happen the way Priest ALLI said it. Now i am a leaving testimony to what Priest ALLI can do. So if you are passing through similar problem just as i was you can as well contact Priest ALLI i know he will still solve your problem as well. Here is Priest ALLI email ALLISPELLHELP@GMAIL.COM or his website on You call also call his telephone number +2348149158514

    ReplyDelete
  16. Are you searching the internet looking for a sincere and honest spell caster?then search no further and quickly contact this great man who helped me cast a spell to cure my fibroid to enable me get pregnant just within two days after my ex had earlier abandoned me for another girl because i am unable to get pregnant he also helped me cast a spell to help me bring him back home and now we are happy again and we have a baby boy.You too can contact this great man on,FINALSOLUTIONSPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM or FINALSOLUTIONSPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM call his mobile number on +2347034249441.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Paul Gregg

    I am Mr Gregg, When I eventually found testimonies about this spell caster Dr.sunny, how he helped many people to get their lovers and broken homes back, i contacted him through his email address drsunnydsolution1@gmail.com because I was absolutely desperate to get my wife back. Life without my wife was a real mess for me and my children. i wanted a dramatic change and I thought magic could be the solution. After discussing the resolution with Dr sunny, he gave me hope that he will restore my marriage. I felt confident that he will actually make my wife to return home and he did! It’s fantastic what this great spell caster have done for me, his help is priceless! I don't know what I would have done without Dr.sunny,he does his job so well he is organized and highly functional, i believe he is the best spell caster i can count on when it comes to all kinds of spell, I was floored that his spells worked, if you need help, contact him on drsunnydsolution1@gmail.com or phone number +2348077620669

    HE FIX THE FOLLOWING PROBLEMS TO ALL
    ACROSS THE GLOBE ON:
    1. Getting your lover or husband back
    2. Spiritual bulletproof
    3. Training
    4. Money spell
    5. Long life spell
    6. Prosperity spell
    7. Protection spell
    8. Get a job spell
    9. Becoming a manager spell
    10. Get a huge loan without paying any fee spell
    11. Getting your scam money back
    12. Child spell
    13. Pregnancy spell
    14. Freedom spell
    15. Love spell
    16, vanishing spell
    17. Invisible human spell
    18. Success or pa** spell
    19. Marriage spell
    20. Avenging spell
    21. Popularity spell
    22. Killing spell
    23. Cancer spell
    24. Supernatural power spell
    25. Madness spell
    26. Free house loan spell
    27. Production spell of films and movie
    28. Hiv/aids spell
    29. Tuberculosis spell
    30. Loose weight and body spell

    ReplyDelete
  18. Getting my Ex back my name is Alicia Justin. from, UK, I've known brown Moore for years, When we finally got together things were kind of weird so we broke up which was in February of 2013 In June of 2014, my husband and i recently got back together and we were together until march of 2013 which he told me he was not interested in relationship again During that time I changed completely, I wasn't eating,I was sleeping a lot, I wasn't talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I'm so depressed and stressed out that I'm scared I'm going to end up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and I want us to last forever Google recommend me driayaryi2012@hotmail.com that he will solve my relationship problem then Dr Iyaryi told me he will come back to me between 48hrs after he cast spell on him never believe it until my fiance called me on the phone and told me he want us to come back and live happy together forever , Am so happy now that DR Iyaryi , help me bring brown Moore back to me. Thanks so much( Dr Iyaryi) his email: driayaryi2012@hotmail.com

    ReplyDelete

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