Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Seeing people for what they are

“These people who can see right through you never quite do you justice, because they never give you credit for the effort you're making to be better than you actually are, which is difficult and well meant and deserving of some little notice.”

― Marilynne Robinson, Gilead


  1. Ironically, if "normal" people put the same effort in their presentation and behaviors that sociopaths do to blend in and succeed in their endeavors, the world would be much better.

    1. I wear a light mask and tell the uninhibited truth, often. I find this makes things easier because my friends know not to expect certain cultural formalities from me. It's annoying when people try to corner me to defend my bluntness and I'm thinking these are the same people who preach how "real and genuine" everyone should be. I prefer to be nice, polite, and honest, because I at least have flimsy principles. What becomes frustrating is when people make stupid comments, direct accusations, or open up weakness like they are tempting me to rip out their emotional jugular. I actually love the feeling of watching someone's emotions bleed out, but I at least avoid doing that by behaving normal.

      Not asking for sympathy from you monsters, of course haha. I agree with Morbid that and the OP, though, that it's such a backwards way of thinking. Nobody grows up dreaming to be a sociopath, or loves being a psychopath from birth (I'm suspecting the latter for me.) We cannot change what we are, but adapting to at least be neutral makes us as objectively noble as those who do charity work. That is why I would hate to be in the public eye. Someone would out me and there is no way to convince people that I'm just a friendly neighborhood sociopath that at least takes care of himself. Jesus Christ, what more do they want from us?

    2. "Not asking for sympathy from you monsters, of course haha."

      Entrée, http://images7.alphacoders.com/336/336194.png, but remember, those who transcend the surface do so at their own peril. Your thoughts and spoken language will become an "instrument."

      "I prefer to be nice, polite, and honest, because I at least have flimsy principles."

      When "critics" diverge, "one" is in agreement with himself. And, sometimes |nodding my head|, one does act as his/her own critic. Occupational hazard?

      "I'm just a friendly neighborhood sociopath..."

      I suspected it. All along.

    3. Nicely said socio next door, of course i think the world would be better assuming the majority have enough empathy to prevent a social collapse, but i agree with you that staying neutral is much better than causing trouble unneceseraly

    4. I'm not sure I understand the "see right through you" aspect. That would presupposes there is a REAL ME. There is not. I recreate myself on a moment by moment basis as I adapt to new data. Very occasionally I run into someone who knows the tells and I get that look of dawning horror. We all slip sometimes. I get that moment of "oops".

      My socio roommate takes this view. He thinks we should get brownie points for not doing horrible things when we can get away with them or acting morally when we would rather not. I say no. No one should get points for acting like a decent human being. You get points for going above and beyond not scratching out the bare minimum no matter how hard it is for you personally.

      The discussion started when a guy posted on a site wanting brownie points for taking a drunken female friend home and NOT molesting/raping her when she was out cold. While he agreed that the guy gets no points for NOT raping her he was wanting to award points for the act of giving her a couch in a rapist free zone to sleep on. I pointed out that that was actually what a friend does for a drunken friend so again NO POINTS for acting like a decent human being.

      I should explain we have a point system for acting in appropriate manners. It helps him remember/learn how to interact with our non spectrum associates. One of the reasons for Project Full Disclosure was to let people know that not all sociopaths are the same. We are all unique individuals. We are not our disorder. Let them see through me. Most people find my nothing beautiful.

    5. Interesting take, Puppy Basket. I would agree that we are not entitled to anything, especially when we behave like normal empaths. We are the screwed up ones, after all, even though we are beautiful haha. I was in a fraternity in college, and I took care of plenty of drunk people at our parties. I could be rational at times when others were full of emotions like lust, anger, sadness, and joy. We can do the right thing, because it's often the most rational. I would not rape a girl, because I recognize the consequences, and I also don't delude myself that I'm entitled to her body, if I take care of her. This isn't some feminist thought, but rather that if I want to get laid so bad, I can go out and play the game, and score. There are plenty of women out there with whom I can have consensual sex, otherwise, I can just rub one out. Hell, maybe I have low testosterone, but being a decent human being is only moderately difficult. Trying to be a good person, is much more difficult so we have to compromise somewhere.

    6. Excellent point Puppy Basket, can you tell me a little more about Project Full Disclosure? Are you a socio too?

  2. When others attempt to silence you, the words by this same author make their mark: “When something ought to be true then it proves to be a very powerful truth.”

  3. This site is in limbo. It has likely run it's course.
    All things must pass so that's to be expected.
    My greater concern is M.E. Does she feel stagnated? We must DO ALL WE CAN
    to "free" her. She began this site to have insight, health, and to promote a book
    she was writing.
    At the very least, before the site actually shuts down, we should provide M.E.
    with suggestions on how she can feel more content and more secure. For myself, from here on out, I'm only going to post suggestions to M.E. on how
    she can be happy, or I won't post at all. You all should do the same.

    1. I guess you're expecting a permission for doing what you say you want to do for her.

      OK, here I simply say, go ahead. Start your suggestions to ME on how she can be happy.

      As a support to you, here I say this:
      ME, please listen to this anon's suggestions, s/he wants you to be happy.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. t is astonishing how much people communicate, even without speaking. People convey an enormous amount of information. The most sophisticated source of dynamic realtime information is a person, active or inactive.

    And yet people don't even see it. They don't notice, even the most obvious hints. You could be in an epileptic seizure and people would tend not to notice. It's not that they don't care, even. Certainly, a number of people don't. But even close friends may simply miss the fact.

  6. When a person meets "Scorpio" and "Scorpio" approves, or at least tolerates, then that person have been given proof he/she is of some worth. These things know. These things do not suffer fools. These things are cold, aggressive & scheming critters with low fear-levels and flexible "rubber-conscience"..

  7. Guess who I saw last night, my friend who is an escaped mental patient. (The one in the skirt was money) check back later.

  8. This is the only life we have. The empirical world is the only world there is. (If you think there is some spiritual world which includes an ineffable entity we call "soul" or "spirit," let me see you walk through a wall.

    Arguing on the basis of your "good intentions" is the same as telling me about your spirit. Love is a verb. You have to act on it every day for it to be real. My wife told me this morning she has has a blown ear drum from the (probably) flu she is suffering. I am driving her to the doctor.

    The human species is in danger of going extinct. Do you care? Are you doing anything about it? No? Are you a traitor to your species?

    Oh, yes, I am on a web site of sociopaths. Wrong place to look for love. Return to your preying. "They also serve who wait and prey."

    1. "The empirical world is the only world there is...The human species is in danger of going extinct. Do you care? Are you doing anything about it? No? Are you a traitor to your species?"


      "If you think there is some spiritual world which includes an ineffable entity we call "soul" or "spirit," let me see you walk through a wall."

      2:36-3:09 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mscxntkJWc

      |P.S. It's called humor or "levity."|

  9. I will also add that the sociopaths of the world showed their true colors in Waco, Texas a few days ago. What is it about Waco? Anybody here from Waco? What are your colors. Did you fire? Did you get hit? Welcome to the downward descent.

  10. Exactly what I was wondering about. What is it with that little spot on earth..


  11. This quote reminds me of an incident when I was a teenager, at least insofar as you can't ever know what people do behind closed doors, or what they are thinking. I don't really remember the exact context, but I remember I complained to a friend, accusing her of not being sufficiently loyal or somesuch nonsense, and her retort was that I had no fucking clue how often she stood up for me to other people. That I was such a strange kid that people were constantly questioning her association with me. It wasn't a surprise that I was considered strange, but I had no clue she had ever stood up for me.

  12. ME, you should watch the show Luther.

  13. I know I am a sociopath but I have a tricky relationship with actually being one. I love being a sociopath in the sense that I feel no pain and that I can manipulate people and get almost anything I want. I love the fact that I am able to smooth talk my way through any situation. I love that my "charm" can keep people interested and liking me to the point that again I can use them to my advantage. The thing about me is that I WANT to love and be attached to someone. I WANT to not have such a parasitic way of thinking. I WANT to be "normal". Ive noticed the only true strong feelings I have and express are happiness, anger, and envy. Ive noticed that being around "normal" people makes me feel weird because I know I will never be like them. Ive also noticed that I have to constantly self-talk my way through things and essentially trying to trick myself into thinking that I do love and I am just like everyone else. Being a sociopathic teenager is hard because I dont really understand the strong connections people have with each other. Things that people do are just trivial to me. As complex connections with others and complex emotions are starting to form for others I just know that for me they are just missing. Another thing is that Im not a violent sociopath but I do have a lot of homicidal thoughts that I dont act on, not because I would feel bad or I care but because I dont want to have to deal with the stupid shit afterwards. If anyone has any pointers or any comments about growing up as a sociopathic teen I am happy to hear. ~Eddie~

    1. Hey darling, you can be anything you want to pretend to be. And that's ok. And it's one of the better advantages of being you. Pursue anything you feel you need and take it for yourself.

      Also when your mind changes, and you decide to be someone else? Don't berate yourself for t, just embrace it and be ever changing you. It's the you that you were meant to be - whatever and whenever that is.

    2. Thank you for your post. This explains my sociopath friends I'm trying to understand and now I feel more compassion for them because I realise how hard they were trying and it was not that they were out to get me or really meant it when they put me down. I can make a space for this now.

      I will add that it's a little traumatic to watch but if I had the explanations I would have somehow accepted it without trying to connect. It's almost like growing a tree together for years and then the roots are pulled out and it's gone.

    3. Anon@2:28 just hang in there. It evens out as you get older. Find enjoyable and harmless distractions. If you wish a relationship socios work best with people on the Asperger's spectrum. Find a nice apspe my best friends are fellow socios and aspes. My Hubby is somewhere in between. They are intelligent, low emoting, and fascinating. You can be yourself with them, you can be honest with them. Unless you teach them to lie they will be honest with you too. You help them focus and socialize and they in turn keep your hearth and home and are loyal beyond compare. You can't manipulate them because they come pre programed and it is hardwiring.

      The other really nice synthsis I have seen is sociopaths dating bi-polars. You would think that would not work but it does. That works best with a socially adept bi-polar and low socially functioning sociopath. The one thing to remember is what was written above. Love is a verb. It is something you do Most of what norms call love is just a chemical high. It fades quickly. I have been married 25 years to a man I would kill or die for and I have never felt anything stronger than fondness for him. But I am VERY fond of him. We have shared over half a century and will prolly be together until one of us dies. REAL love is companionship and sharing and making it work when it gets tough. It is about so much more than a quick rush of hormones. We might not be capable of love but we are capable of lasting relationships that are rich. Best of luck anon

  14. "These people who can see right through you never quite do you justice,"

    Being in a very literal frame of mind this morning, my first thought was that if someone sees through another person they cannot actually be seeing that person. So, yes, the above would then be true. Anyway, we are all ghosts of possibilities - but not fixed hauntings ;)

    1. "Being in a very literal frame of mind this morning, my first thought was that if someone sees through another person they cannot actually be seeing that person."

      In other words, you're having yet another day at the airport |a bit of dark humor or rather "levity"|.

      Possibilities. "My favorite words are possibilities, opportunities and curiosity. I think if you are curious, you create opportunities, and then if you open the doors, you create possibilities." M.T.

      As it were, I treasure mirrors. They let one transcend through the mere surface of things. Entrée: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jU3AimFaz0

      Although s/he might be unresponsive or creating in absentia, the artist has a trained eye for seeing all things obscured. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7jRi2kRiUc

  15. The basic problem as I see it is that M.E. feels phony, but she feels
    trapped in this state, and would like the REAL M.E. to come out.
    She thinks if she releases her grasp and her techniques she would lose her
    hold on "reality" and "go off" and kill a few people.
    The only way she can know that this is NOT so, is to risk going "mask free."
    But M.E. has been more sucessful then even she thought she might be.
    So the sociopathic mindset works, at least in a material sense. The masses of
    people are FOLLOWERS rather then leaders, therefore, a person who SEEMS to
    know what they are doing sets trends, and attracts worship.
    No one can argue that M.E. has met the common definition of sucess. She has
    out done millions of people. But so as Casey Anthony. She is actually living
    better now then prior to murdering her baby. Kind of ironic insn't it? It shows that
    crime pays, at least in the short term.
    I doubt that M.E. is 100% sociopathic. What she needs to do is to chance NOT
    being a phony. She may lose SOME her resourses, but she'll learn real love.

    1. "Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing." - Needless to say, the man who wrote this quote believed that dreams are for real, and many sighted his opinions.

      While thinking about the human condition, I say the world is full of intricate things waiting patiently for us to bloom.

  16. 'Breivik’s childhood explains nothing, his character explains nothing, his political ideas explain nothing.' http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/05/25/the-inexplicable

    1. "Before he massacred seventy-seven people, Anders Behring Breivik said that he was going to make his father proud." Because of the inexplicable, Breivik might or might not want to read this: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/did-your-dad-or-a-computer-algorithm-write-this

    2. “I think you can see by the number of weapons that we have recovered from here today, they didn’t come here to eat and have a good time with their family.” http://www.newyorker.com/news/amy-davidson/the-twin-peaks-shootout?intcid=mod-most-popular

  17. Everyone keeps back some part of themselves, as it's essential in order to get along with others. None of us made the rules, but we're all compelled to follow them. I've got no problem following rules that make sense. As for the ones that don't make sense, everyone can shove them up their collective asses and not bother me with their nonsense.

  18. Is it possible for the sociopath and empath to work together in an organization without conflict?

    1. I work with empaths all the time. If you learn to compliment each other's strengths and weaknesses you become an unstoppable force.

  19. My friend, what is it that u want? I keep seeing you but dont know what u want. Keep in mind that no old guy with marginal skills dictates what I can get. If u think hes the shit or the delegator than u should be outside his residence not mine. I dont pay for what old pussys can get. Get that through ur head.

  20. Why dont you all stop being fake, you dumb weirdos

  21. Why would someone want to fake being something that people look at negatively.

  22. I wanted to say thank you for the book 'confessions of a sociopath' it put a label on something suspected I already was. I initially picked the book up because of the title but ended up buying it. In many ways parts of the childhood section of this book could as well have been telling my story.

    Not too long ago a few people pointed out my utilitarian ways of reasoning and my perceived lack of consideration for the emotions of others. I had a series of adverse events in my younger life and all in all I think that is what resulted in my resilience and adaptability to change. Many of the people I encounter often try to figure me out searching, for weaknesses, places where I might slip, vulnerabilities. I haven't any I don't even have a preset self, I am like a chameleon who I am depends on what is optimal for my success in the situation at hand. I do not have many of the normal feelings but I have learned that playing the nice honest person gets you further on, it makes people less likely to believe any rumours of any odd deeds you may have committed.

    I generally try to do the things the legal way.


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