Last installment. (As a sidenote, there are a lot of things I know about my readers who email me that I don't include when I publish about them. I know that means you don't get the whole story, but I weigh that against other considerations. I have this guy's backstory, and if he is who he says he is, then he is who he says he is.) My comments in bold.
The truth is most people make me sick. They disgust me. I don't care about them, because they don't care about themself. I don't respect them, because they don't respect themself. Luckily I think that a lot of people are sort of charming. I can be very fond of people, but definitely not anyone who is a self-hater. Those people are lost.A little more commentary about this: when I first read it I was turned off (apparently, like many of you) by all of what seemed to be braggery. I don't know what I was expecting from my first exchange with a criminal sociopath, but I was surprised, particularly on the second reading, to see how much we had in common. To a large extent when i read things like this, it is like looking into a mirror:
I hide behind the mask because if they knew how great I really felt and who I really am they would hate me because they can't be that way. Yeah, I think you are right that they would hate you. I don't know if it would necessarily all (or even primarily) be because they are jealous. I feel like it is more because you threaten their very way of life, are a parasite, someone who is at least capable of doing terrible things to them.
The vast majority of people besides sociopaths are insecure, self loathing, self hating, miserable people guided by their weaknesses who will never change. I wonder if your opinions are somewhat influenced by who you have found yourself surrounded by in jail and with the gang. I think a lot of people are great. I myself have met many smart, really dedicated people who are not at all a drain on society.
Psychologists who call our personality types evil and a mental illness are leading the charge. Blaming everyone for their weakness. Pointing fingers at us calling us evil, because they can't 'treat' our 'illness'. They can't manipulate us, in fact they fear us because without even studying psychology we can manipulate them. Its no wonder they have a high suicide rate. This sounds accurate, although I don't know about the correlation with the high suicide rate and their failure to treat sociopaths.
I want to end in this. Know yourself. You are your worse enemy. Learn to identify other leaders, or 'sociopaths' and be honest with them, don't try to manipulate them because they will also become your worse enemy. Right, making enemies with sociopaths is a losing scenario for both empaths and sociopaths. It's like Dangerous Liaisons -- stuff will turn needlessly ugly for both of you.
Don't try to be weak and insecure like them and have them tell you that you're sick because you don't feel guilty, insecure, and negative about yourself. You are amazing, gifted, and the most important person in your life so live that way. I like your style. You sound like you have worked out a great life philosophy for yourself. Stay gold, Ponyboy.
Most 'criminals' lack any sophistication to put anything out there on the internet or any media for people to understand us. I wanted to change that. I also wanted to see if there's people out there like us who understand maybe that's on another walk of life. I found your site when doing research on sociopaths trying to find a positive alternate view. I found a dr. as well who says he leans towards a minority opinion that it might be a personality type which I agree with.
Most 'disorders' are personality types in my opinion or everyone would have a disorder. I think the DSMIV was written by weak minded psychologists who seem to dominate the industry. Which is why the majority are bananas themselves.
From reading the websites on sociopathy there seems to be a growing trend of people who want to be sociopaths like its a badge of honor. Maybe we might be getting some positive reviews as people now. The strange thing I've found is the fact that people hate us so much by definition but in reality we are surrounded by everyone who looks to us for guidance and leadership. Its a ironic contradiction.