Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Sociopaths advise sociopaths

Convo with thunderball (my responses in bold):
Hello M.E.,

I sometimes post as thunderball, george cromwell III and anonymously on your blog. I find what you write on there very intriguing. I am still very much trying to find myself or even decide 100% if I am a sociopath. I'm at the 80% point but still am trying to finalize my thoughts. Sorry to try and corner you on your blog, but I found it odd you didn't respond to anyone. It became a challenge to try and get you to comment. As you can see from my comments I've been very extroverted and narcissistic in my actions on your blog and in life over the last few years. That's interesting because the traditional wisdom is that sociopaths mellow with age.

I was far more introverted in my teenage years, perhaps more thoughtful in my actions. Mind you, I was violent as a teenager, as I felt I could get away with it. I also stole quite a bit and was very manipulative. To the point now I don't have any contact with people I was friends with at that time. Dare I say they don't want any contact with me. I've tried to get in contact due to curiosity, but most didn't respond through facebook, and the ones that did kept their distance even then. Yeah, I have a lot of old friends who I know would hate to be back in contact with me. I don't even bother trying. I know some of them have very specific reasons, and I suspect others just get a general bad vibe.

Sorry for the rambling, this is as much me trying to organize my thoughts as give you some background. I find myself very manipulative at work. In the past I've had a strong push to pit people against each other and after years of doing this I think I have a reputation for this among some of the employees. Ever since then and because of this I've become much more open about my dislike and manipulativeness, ultimately to my detriment. I haven't lost my job or anything, but I've become ineffective in going anywhere in the company and ineffective in controlling what those around me do. I feel like I've lost a lot of the subtlety and well thought out thinking processes I used to have. To be honest I feel ineffective and not very bright. I've pushed the limits without regard to consequence. Yeah, one of my most tempting impulses is to disclose who I really am to people. Bad idea. I used to be very reckless with my identity. Luckily I was able to learn vicariously through work experiences what a bad idea that is, and how much harm can come from that. Instead I try to provide myself relatively safe outlets for self disclosure, like this blog.

Anything I've written here is really just a summation of what I feel are failures and poignant examples of how ineffective I have been so far in my life. I guess I want some stability to some degree so I will be more enabled to do what I want.

Have you found this to be true of yourself? Have you gone through a period where you pushed the boundaries and let everything fall apart? Yes, when I was younger especially, particularly when i felt very conflicted about my identity. I couldn't distinguish well between the mask and who I really was. Either I would overestimate the power of my mask to conceal my actions, or I got so disgusted with the mask that I threw it away and just indulged my every evil impulse in plain sight. To avoid this, there needs to be balance. There needs to be a certain amount of honesty with even strangers, like half masks, otherwise the stress of deception is too great -- you lose touch with who you are. The key is finding the outlets for self-expression that are the least destructive to your chosen lifestyle.

I even feel like what I have written above lacks a certain subtlety and sharpness. I am doubting myself right now in a big way. Hence the 20% of me questioning who I really am. Wouldn't a sociopath not care? Sociopaths probably care more than most. We pretend so much, we have to wonder what is true and what is fake.

I feel like I lack a certain confidence. When put into the mix of people I exude confidence, but when I think about things later I pick conversations apart. I try to improve on my interactions but ultimately I see all the little and big flaws in myself and actions. Have you experienced this? Yes. Professional performers are the same way. When you are up on stage you have to stay very in the moment, being a showman. Afterward you can self-criticize, but not during. If you play a wrong note, sing a wrong lyric, trip over a joke, you have to keep going -- push it immediately out of your mind. You'll just make it worse if you think about it. That doesn't mean you have or don't have confidence. What is confidence anyway? It seems like it is just an ability to compartmentalize, to say to yourself, there is a time and a place for questioning, and it is not now. Arrogance is when people never take the time to self-question. Timidity is when people never take the time to act.

People tell me I come across as extremely bright and communicate well. I don't really feel that way. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel depressed about this, just agitated more so. I used to feel deep depression years ago, but it all just disappeared at one point. Poof, gone. Has this happened to you? Yeah, I can get blue, particularly seasonly. I used to get depressed all the time around my birthday. Birthdays used to be reminders of the horrible person I thought I was. Once I confronted myself, and was able to acknowledge there are good and bad parts about me, and that mostly I just "am," I got over the depression. I know I have to reset in a way, but don't really know how. I don't want to quit my job because I get good medical and pay, but it's going no where. I would love to cast off all the people I know now and dissappear into a new life, become someone different. I just can't bring myself to do it. Too costly, too many sacrifices.

A shift in focus can go both macro and micro. If you feel like you're not seeing the forest for the trees, sometimes the answer is to take a step back and focus on forest. But sometimes it is better give up on seeing forests and instead take a step forward and focus on the bark or leave structure of a particular tree. Do you know what I am saying? Big changes are very risky (which is why they are overly appealing to sociopaths). And there is little guarantee that they will make you happier. It is much more likely that picking up an additional hobby that you enjoy or otherwise making small improvements to the quality of your life will increase your overall sense of well-being.


From what I've written here and on your blog what is your view of me? Do you need more info to come to a conclusion? Feel free to ask any questions. I'll answer honestly because I am really looking for some answers. I think that you mainly sound bored. Not surprisingly, boredom is a constant plague of the sociopath. A lot of sociopaths self-medicate for boredom by resorting to quick fixes -- creating chaos, destroying people. These tactics don't work as well when you have become as established in the normalcies of life as you have. Posting comments on the blog can be entertaining, or at least you seem to enjoy engaging people in relatively meaningless altercations, enjoy provoking people, and enjoy trying to manipulate people. It's also relatively harmless since no one knows who you are. I guess that is the magic of the internet. But in regards to your claim that you are searching for answers -- to what questions? From what you have written here, writings that you have described yourself as "rambling," "lacking sharpness, " characterized by "doubt" and "questioning," it seems like your first priority is to really think exactly what questions you are trying to answer. Once you do that, I think you will find that the answers will soon follow.

Thanks ahead of time for your response and I do really appreciate your blog. Its helped a lot. Of course feel free to post this on your blog and any other interactions we may have.

Thanks again.

86 comments:

  1. How sad, do you really view yourself as such a bad and small person Thunderball? Life is what you make of it.

    What is your view Daniel Birdick? I'd also wonder what the other people who comment here think.

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  2. Solomon/simplesimon you are a dream boat. Will you take me to the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance?

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  3. wow thats sounds fun!!! Can i come lmao...hey Thunderball medication works a treat for boredom, especially when the midnight hallucinations start!!

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  4. I'll take it only if we do it together baby. I want to drive into bat country with you straddling me.

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  5. Solomon asked, "What is your view Daniel Birdick?"

    Honestly, my first reaction was, “Oh for Peter Pan’s sake!” Maybe you guys were right about the whole identity thing after all. Really, I think it’s wisest to think about appropriating these psychological labels in a utilitarian way. It really isn’t about identity, it’s about describing a set of behavioral traits and then using that description as a conceptual aid and nothing more. Am I a bona fide sociopath? Is Thunderball/George Cromwell/etc? Is Peter Pan? Is Phage? Is Jane? Is Tinkerbell? Is M.E.? That isn’t the most important question as far as I’m concerned. As I keep saying, so long as none of us are actually on a psychiatrist’s couch and so long as none of us have taken a professionally administered PCL-R, then who cares if we ARE sociopaths to our “core”? Utility and not identity. That’s where the clarity is in my not so humble view. The question shouldn't be "Is this WHO I AM?" The question should be "Will this label help me organize my thinking with a view towards getting whatever it is I want out of life?"

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  6. I think we might all agree that i am just plain nutty..im way to stupid and annoying to be a sociopath.
    Daniel is too clever, reading his comments send me dizzy. lol.
    Hey Thunderball your a married man. Behave ha ha ;)

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  8. Tinkerbelle said, “Daniel is too clever, reading his comments send me dizzy. lol.”

    Awww! That is so sweet Tink! Wait a minute… Who are you and what have you done with Tinkerbell?!?!!!! lol

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  9. Stop wasting your time and energy trying to decide if you're a sociopath. Find the traits that match you and accept them. Find the traits that don't and reject them.

    It's obvious the label doesn't fit you in its entirety, so either pick and choose or reject it.

    It's up to you.

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  10. You think that was sweet Daniel...i wasn't even trying. lol :)
    Besides i have a split personality.... Well, so i've been told by ex bf's.

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  11. Hmm. Thunderball, you sound like such a sociopath. Struggling with the whole "who am I? sense of selfy silly what do I be?" thing. All sociopaths seem to struggle with the sense of self, and as someone said, it makes us very aware of the flexibility of self. We're adaptive by nature and know we'll never really have traits that'll stay thoughout time with the exception of a few. Hence the importance I put into finding that special someone. When you find someone that knows you for your adaptivity, and is equally adaptive, you give each other purpose, checks and balances, and strength. Your strength is currently misplaced. You abused and misused the power of a sociopath and your wondering what to do now. And what will you do with such a power? Manipulating people sounds like it's become tedious for you. Empaths are sheep, and they lack so much in lieu of intellect that they're tiresome, and boring. You resorted to such blatant manipulation that even that isn't fun. SO find someone to laugh at their idiocy with you. Empaths are funny when you have someone to laugh at them with. A purpose to use them for and not just abuse them.

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  12. So either you were lying your ass off, or you're no sociopath.

    I didn't lie, but, I'm not going to trust your opinion, Peter. Daniel and Jasnowflake have given me something to think about. I have always been incredulous of how you present yourself and your opinions, Peter.

    It's obvious the label doesn't fit you in its entirety

    Care to elaborate?

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  13. Thunderball, you are no sociopath. You seem intelligent, albeit, confused. Peter on the other hand, is; that's why you question how he presents himself. You can tell from how he writes what he truly is. Get off this blog and enjoy your life. Make connections, and stop thinking about yourself. I think your questioning of Peter in itself proves that you are a feeling and moral person deep down.

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  15. The “problem” is that the label of sociopath isn’t clearly defined. The DSM-IV doesn’t use it. It doesn’t even officially use the term psychopath anymore. Although Hare and Cleckley’s work on psychopathy has been largely accepted, I believe Hare defines sociopathy differently from other “authorities”, like Martha Stout for instance. Then you have the work of Richard Christie, Delroy Paulhus, Barbara Oakley and others who’s done work on Machiavellianism and the dark triad, but have not, as far as I could tell, made a clear line of demarcation between those conceptual models and sociopathy. (Paulhus and Christie do differentiate Machiavellianism and psychopathy, but not sociopathy.) And then there is the common error of confusing psychopathy with sociopathy. One doesn’t necessarily equal the other. All of this is why we have people leaving comments here about what a sociopath is and what a sociopath will and won’t do, and then going on to declare so and so is or is not a “true” sociopath based entirely on their own opinion and nothing more. (And all opinions are most certainly not created equal. Some are just plain dumb.) There appears to be no mutually agreed upon definition of a sociopath that would then be logically binding on every one. It’s an amorphous label that means different things to different people, which is almost the same thing as saying it means nothing at all.

    So even though M.E. doesn’t like to comment on his own posts, I think for the purposes of clarity, he/she should define what he/she means by the term sociopath. Then commenters can decide whether that definition makes sense to them, and from there can decide why, when, and how to use the label.

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  17. Peter Pan:

    The book “Without Conscience” includes a subtitle: “The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us”. Note the word used is psychopath, not sociopath. Which goes to the point I made in my previous comment. There may in fact be a meaningful difference between psychopaths and sociopaths, which would mean that reading Hare’s book might be illuminating, but it wouldn’t necessarily clear the matter up.

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  18. One final question Pete. Even if every single person here is seriously deluded (which is in fact a possibility), why would you care one way or the other? What difference does our delusion make to you? Why comment about it, and so passionately at that? Or is this just you acting on your overwhelming “compulsion” to fuck with people again?

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  21. Peter Pan asks, “Why would I want to fuck with you, or anyone else here?”

    You tell me. You were the one who spoke about having a compulsion to fuck with people and feeling guilty about it. Your comments on this thread had a passionate tone to me, hence my question. You haven’t fucked with me as far as I can tell, unless your comments about you experiencing guilt from a previous thread were completely bogus. And it certainly doesn’t matter to me whether you care or not, although I’m sure it matters to you.

    Hey man, I’m here to make conversation (which I find useful), no more, no less. Which brings me back to the comment before this last one. Of course, I agree with the sentiment you express in general, except that I don’t personally believe psychopathy and/or sociopathy, or I should say, I don’t find some of the traits associated with those labels, to be synonymous with disorder. Not having a belief in right and wrong and not experiencing the requisite guilt that goes along with said “faith” is not a sign of a mental disorder in my view. On the contrary. It’s a sign of a clear mind, a mind free of the limitations that evolution saddled most people’s brains with.

    I’m genuinely curious Peter. In a nutshell, how would you define a sociopath? I’m assuming your definition will also explain why you’re sure you aren’t one yourself.

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  25. Haha! Ohh Peter, it's just too easy to push your buttons. I am Solomon and anonymous you were fighting with. Too funny.

    Anywhoo, thanks for the fun guys. Enough soul searching, so to say. LMFAO

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  27. But Peter, why should we leave that up to professionals? A PhD is no more a guarantor of insight than the court system is of “justice”. Plus, how can you redefine a so called “disorder” that hasn’t been clearly defined in the first place? You still speak as if you knew what you were talking about when clearly you and most others do not. (And by that I mean, you speak as if there is a clear, well defined and universally agreed upon definition and/or understanding of sociopathology and the point is, there is no such beast.) That was the entire point of my previous comments.

    But apparently, it’s time to move on from interesting and insightful conversation and onto… whatever else. Have fun Peter or should I say Solomon or should I say Thunderball or should I say M.E… Have I in fact been “interacting” with one person this entire time? Tinkerbell are you in fact M.E.? I think I’ve now officially slid into paranoia… I am now screaming. My co-workers are calling the men in white coats as I type…

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  28. How melodramatic, Peter. But, it's what I've come to expect. I enjoyed manipulating you into writing long rambling diatribes; or getting you to obsessively reply back. You do it hook, line and sinker; no matter how much you try to play it off.

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  30. I am Peter as well... it was all about you Daniel... all about you.

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  32. I thought you started that blog to flirt with Tink.


    Anyhoo, I'm off probation tomorrow. So I'll be long gone. Sorry M.E., what I wrote you was BS as well. I've been trolling for a couple years. Living off my savings, laying low. God I can't wait! Thats the truth, short of it anyways. What the fuck is your excuse Peter? Cause you seem to have a lot of time on your hands.

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  34. Thunderball said, “I am Peter as well... it was all about you Daniel... all about you.”

    I knew it!!! Goddammit I knew it all along!!! It’s ALWAYS about M.E.!!!

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  35. Yeah and im M.E so get the fuck off my blog LMAO....
    jesus...now this is what i call a real head fuck!!!

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  36. Because Daniel is bored shitless at work, he/I decided to peruse some of M.E.’s old posts and low and behold, on April 1 (Fool’s Day ironically enough), I discover that M.E. has already addressed, at a basic level, almost everything I said in this thread. Ok then, I retract all my comments about defining sociopaths and the “need” to distinguish between sociopaths and psychopaths and what not.

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  37. Well Tink, you could have told me! Then again, where would the fun have been in that? I suppose this means you're also Thunderball and Peter Pan and Sponge Bob Square Pants as well...

    And no, I will not get the fuck off your blog!!! What else am I supposed to do here, work? I think not. Homey don't play dat!

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  38. LMAO...im not M.E really. This is starting to sound like that famous line..."I am sparticus!, no..i am sparticus"

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  40. Peter Pan said, "I think I understand what Tinkerbelle was trying to say. On some level, we're all M.E..."

    Damn Tink, that is some deep shit!

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  42. The difference bewtween psychopaths and sociopaths is not that they "Grew up" with different titles according to society. You cannot weigh your understanding on how society views these differences because society does not understand the difference. Society rejects the deviant, and therefore, cannot comprehend what they've rejected. Sociopaths, for example, are a taboo subject by people and psychologists, so common understandings must be deciphered by those who are the deviant. So we don't all simply claim, yippy I'm a sociopath, we struggle to come to understandings on our own because we don't fit in enough to be understood by labels and text books. When psychologists are told to avoid sociopaths as soon as they discover their identity, how can you expect their definition as it varies from psychopath to be sound? The difference is immense, as any sociopath will know. Sociopaths are so unemotional that they have power and manipulation skills, as well as practicality and are typically self motivated or self centered. Psychopaths are sick twisted fucks who are so emotionally damaged that they have to emotionally damage the world in return. That difference is obvious to anyone who's met either. But then again, empaths cannot understand that difference because they reject both, and cannot comprehend either end of the spectrum. Their emotions tell them how to react and they simply don't grasp that ours do not. Solomon, you're stupid and arrogant, and misuynderstand a few things. This is not a site to vent or break down our emotional turmoil, this is a place to speak rationally with people who understand rationality, so thoughts are brought out that are typically misunderstood, as by you and others.
    Your misunderstanding only illustrates your empathy and desire to be otherwise. Perhaps your a psycho.

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  43. Sorry, not solomon. That last message was to Peter Pan.

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  44. Thunderball, you're boring now. You can be expected and trusted to be trying to manipulate. Do you really think that people come on here because they passionately care about debating you're stupid points with you yourself and you? We come here because we like debating the ideas. You think you can gain control of us, but you forget that none of us are the people who give a shit that you're used to. We come on here to materialize ideas, converse about them, and broaden our own understandings. You just introduce ideas from three perspectives helping our own personal satisfaction. We aren't really worth the effort you expel on us. We actually like just talking about all this shit. SO try to be insulting, but we aren't the empaths you typically control, love.

    I read the posts following the post I was responding to after I wrote the last one, so now that I know you're everyone I'm telling you how much we don't care.

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  49. Aha, sir, we have very different motives. My motives are not at all to figure any of these people out. A few of them interest me minutely, and that's the extent I go to. You for example, are borderline intriguing. People interest me in my life while they're different, or strange or out of the norm. SO my point and purpose here is not to figure out people I'll never meet or care about knowing. No offence to any of you but I could really give two shits about who you are personally. Daniel Birdick interests me because he's intelligent. Thunderball amuses me. So what. I'm not here to fit in with these people or to get to know them personally. I am here to use this place as a tool to get to know myself better so I can farther improve. SO it's my purpose here that makes me seem like I feel better than all these people. It's not however, that I feel I have the absolute truth, but that I'm writing personal discoveries. My point is not even to broaden these people's horizons. Again, I don't care. I like this place because it introduces perspectives unconsideredby me. I am open minded to new ideas, but firm in my own, obviously. As you seem to have discovered. If you want to get to know me, sir, you'll have to meet me. It takes time and intuition, and you won't see much of that here. But otherwise, what do you want to know. SInce psychological understanding is your goal, set up extremes to bring me out.
    But as I said, the emotional people you are used to manipulating will respond well to this stuff. I don't care about a single one of these persons opinions, including yours. so bringing out emotional responses to extremes in me will be difficult, as my goal is not to feel powerful or perfect.
    Want to know the difference? I'm not insecure. Perhaps narcissistic, but I am amazing.

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  50. Oh, an idea I thought to address. It's irrelevant whether these people are sociopaths or not.

    And if there were no difference between psychopath and sociopath, there wouldn't be two separate labels.

    Though the traits are similar the reasons differ. I'll try to find references if can maintain the enthusiasm but I think I've already lost it.

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  52. lol. As I said sir, just ask. You amuse me so if you're interested in "Figuring me out" I don't mind answering questions.
    And I'm not so terribly condescending as you think. I serve my purpose as everyone else does. So it goes and such is life.

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  54. Alas, no such luck. I'm currently detached from society in that aspect. No longer a myspace post psycho ex break up. The over emotional stalker thing afore mentioned.
    Hence the need for questions. I'm an introvert but I'd humor you. I'm honest too, though you know better than to believe that on a sociopath site.
    No point in lies. They're impractical.

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  56. You could always make up another character and try to instigate a fight. But I'm difficult to rouse on the internet. And my blogs only said something about the Holy Spirit, and music videoes costing enough to fund Africa or something. Maybe something about materialism. Etc.

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  58. Fair enough. Superiority complex mystery unsolved. Surely you'll figure out other interesting people and forget all about it. Have a good night, sir.

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  59. A great article regarding the confusion between psychopathy and ASPD. Clears up the idea of confusion, but further reading is necessary to really get a grasp. None of us really have the grasp on sociopathy that a doctor will. We just basically lack the study time. But here's an article I found interesting, either way.

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  60. And Peter, here's one for you illustrating the psychopathic weakness that motivates them.
    http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/display/article/10168/51661

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  61. The last website didn't paste. :( Here it is, though.
    http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/display/article/10168/54831

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  62. Peter Pan said...,

    "Im not even sure if Tinkerbelle is a real person"

    Unfortunately for me Peter, i am indeed a real person. Yep there is actually someone on this planet as nutty and stupid as me. boo hoo...oh well :)

    I actually learn stuff from here, well at least i think i do, everyone on here seems extremely intelligent. I really only stumbled upon this blog by complete chance,and became intrigued by it. I know im not a sociopath or a psychopath, im just plain weird, and this seems to be a place where personalities outside of societal norms can sort of congregate.
    I am indeed as inane in real life as i am on here, always chiming in with something completely stupid and irrelevant to say. I can't take myself seriously. lol. But hey Pete thanks for understanding what i mean't when i posted ..."i am spartacus, no ...i am spartacus".

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  63. The Evil EmperorJuly 9, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    Lol. Excellent. Everything is happening exactly as I have forseen it.

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  64. lol. Sure it is. Tink, the average person thinks he isn't, and I'm sorry, dear, you are average.

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  65. do you even know me to call me average? so stick your "sorry dear" up your condescending ass!!

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  66. It's obvious that some posters try so hard to belittle others on here. I mean for fuck sake this is just a BLOG!!! Its not the bible or a religion. Read it, leave a little comment, don't take it seriously, then get on with "real life"... get out the house and meet "real people" instead of trying to pick cyber personalities apart! lmao... I could be a 40 yr old man who writes scripts for day time t.v for all any of you know.
    I may make a lot of shallow comments on here, but so what. I don't take it soooooo seriously.

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  67. Average people think they are "normal" and everybody else is wierd.

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  68. how funny that condescending caught on.
    Average people think they're normal, yes, but they also think they're special. People pride themselves in blending in with society, but also in being unique. People always try to seem more than what they are. Especially when insecurity is involved. And anyone that has to tell you they're special is not.
    And that'd only be condescending if it were bad to be average. Everyone has their place and purpose, tink. THough my tone was condescending, the statement only is to you, who wants to be special. But as you said, I don't know you. So why are you mad?

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  70. Funny that isn't it jasnowflake, i've never come on her all high and mighty in the same manner that you have. Im not mad lol,i didn't take it as an insult. I just think you are pathetic for making comments like that. Nobody on here has called me special, im comfortable with myself, its a pity you aren't. Its you that comes across as insecure because of how hard you try.... Condescending is exactly how you came across with the "sorry dear", not the fact you said i was average....what do you consider yourself "superior",...again kiss my ass.

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  71. I don't think I'm superior, I think I'm different. But then, perhaps that makes me average. As you say, I'm trying too hard.
    I assure you, insecure is something I am not. I'm not on here telling anyone how amazing I am. I'm just here figuring things out. As I've said, any of your opinions of me matter not. I pretend, frankly, that none of you exist anyways. This place only exists in my life to further my understandings. I learn much from this place, and if my opinion in some way upsets you or doesn't, I don't even factor that in unless it's interesting or beneficial. I'm really not mean, but none of you will see that side of me, as that is not fulfilling to my purpose for all of you and how you fit into my life. Were I ever to meet any of you, you would not be regarded as fulfilling a purpose, or as flat characters in an internet blog.
    So it goes.
    But then, do any of you see each other really differently? Do you think about each other as friends?

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  73. I am amazing. But I'm not here to tell you all that. Nor will any of you really get any idea of it.

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  75. Jasnowflake, you sound like a borderline idealist. Touch my cock and call me jesus baby. You make me feel like god because you are a slave.

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  76. sociopathy has been blowing my mind since i met my first one, 8months ago. so many contradictions, paradoxes. alot to learn from that end of the spectrum, just as that end of the spectrum knows theres alot to learn from the part in the middle. and it IS about a spectrum, about degrees of difference to 'the norm' (which i couldnt begin to imagine how to define). Essentially, i feel very much for people with sociopathic tendencies, who have to wear a mask through life. sure, sociopathic or not, all humans wear masks (again varying degrees), and when the sociopath's mask comes off, it really does shed light on how much we're all in this mask thing together. The more sociopaths shed the mask, the more they'll be seen as normalised, and the more 'normals' will be seen as deviant. I think we're heading in that direction anyway. It's horrible to read all the first-step research on sociopathy which just says 'stay the hell away, these people are evil' etc, it makes me crazy how dumb and under-evolved our world is... just breeds more hate and misunderstanding. You guys have alot to teach about how messed up the world is for relying on emotions to justify everything. I think the world is over-indulged with emotions, so some straight-up honesty is what we need. Thom Yorke (Radiohead)- 'Just because you feel it, doesn't mean it's there'. The sociopath feels things though- I believe the one I've met loves me (I asked him once, and he said 'a bit'), as well as hating me. And that's how I feel about him I guess, and humanity and the world in general. Love, pain, freedom, spirituality, death, birth, people who truly use the gifts of their head, heart and soul are bound to feel both the pleasure and pain simultaneously. I've always felt that way, but meeting the sociopath has been the most complete example of life's complexities in one. I can only assume you guys didn't really get hugs when you were young? I wish you could feel the beauty in a hug! That would be my one wish for a sociopath. I wanna know more though, more about what you feel when you like someone. Does it sadden you to know that you'll never really be able to have a mutual understanding with the person? Are you capable of something that feels like LOVE? And you've gotta know that the 'normals' have their own troubles identifying what the hell love actually is/involves....

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  77. jesswess saidm “You guys have alot to teach about how messed up the world is for relying on emotions to justify everything. I think the world is over-indulged with emotions, so some straight-up honesty is what we need. Thom Yorke (Radiohead)- 'Just because you feel it, doesn't mean it's there'.”

    Lovely sentiments Jesswess. Your open mind will hopefully serve you well in this life.

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  78. JessWess, I cannot agree with you more about how much the world is too ok with catering to human emotions and expressing how we all feel. This emphasis causes us all to run around feeling and when we get depressed we think it's ok to wallow in self pity. Or when we're sad, we think we're bipolar. Conquering emoptions is an important part of being successful. Acknowleging their existance is imparative even for the sociopath, but understand that they are not there to dictate our lives is a very important element in learning how to feel. Psychologists all want us to express ourselves and talk about our mother, and tell everyone how much pain we're in, but really we have to get over it all. Everyone had issues, and their all relative. Some people grew up and some people wallow in emotional pity.
    THere is strength in being able to control your feelings, and in being able to harness your emotions for strengths, as opposed to letting them dictate our life into weakness. Being told we're ok is not the answer. People need to be a bit callous and tell people the truth. When people complain to you about how much life hates them, tell them they're weak or take advantage of their inability or indesire to cope. Spoiled rich kids are easy to do that to. They love to complain, but really they just chose early in life not to be strong, so you can have no sympathy for those people. Those are the people that beg to be led and beg to be manipulated. Who are we to deny them a leader? If they love to give everything up to the sociopath who is really getting the fuzzy end of the stick? I've seen this happen with every weak minded person who's handed me total control of themselves. Ex boyfriends, for example, were personal slaves, and I assure you I tried hard not to take the control they thrust into my hands. They were weak and chose to fail, and begged to be controlled. And loved to be controlled despite themselves. All you empaths think we're mean, but really, you give us no choice. We don't have to be malicious, and we don't always seek control. Sometimes you want it so bad it's impossible to resist for anyone.

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  79. Excellent comment jasnowflake! It was most definitely on point and I couldn't agree more.

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  81. WOW your site especially on this one has helped me in my life and trying to figure out what i have to do to fix my problems i used to think that packing up and moving away would help me solve my problems but now i realize that the geographic answer is not the solution to my problems now i just need to find a hobby because right now im not really sure of who i am still into all of my interests but i know a few interests thanks for your site and keep it up thank you

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  82. More people need to be on http://sociopath-community.com/

    !!! it used to be connected to this blog but was disconnected over a year ago. We need fresh blood and lots of interesting things have happened recently (relates to kiwifar.ms drama: https://archive.is/M2tXa) that will go down in the forum's history! Be sure to check out http://www.psychforums.com/antisocial-personality/ too, as some of its regulars are regulars on SC too!

    Goddamn ME refused to reconnect the blog to the forum so we SC goers will just have to spam advertisements for the forum in the comments section. ;)

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