Thursday, December 4, 2008

Sociopath = into S&M?

Most of the responses from my empaths-who-date-sociopaths-are-asking-for-it experiment were from the women seeking men ad. Maybe that means that straight men are more into sociopaths than straight women, gay men, or gay women. But I think the more likely explanation is that straight men looking on craigslist for women are looking for a dominatrix. Guys looking for nice girls go to church social functions, guys looking for easy girls go to bars, and guys looking for dangerous girls go online. True? How about this as a case in point:
Just a Great ad .... and straight to the point .. so well done you .... pity half the people who worked for me arnt like that ... save me so much time ... but thats life i guess... and i like jimmy Stewart also ....
You will also no doubt be deluged with replies .... and some very strange i bet ... however if no suitable white knights on horseback ( in full shinning armour of course ) happen to appear just let me know...... and i will feed my steed and drinks ( the Sanderson is good fun ) and dinner would be my pleasure ....
Me .... 6'2 200lbs (slim ) 54 considered attractive ( well a frog needs a kiss now and then )..... my home is in Liverpool and i keep a flat in London as my business is down here I am every week for 2/3 days (for all my sins I am in the fashion industry ... we supply clothing to most high street strores River Wallis Oasis etc etc etc ... ... ) we have an office in Hong Kong were i go for around 8/9 days every 8 weeks or so .... I also keep a home in Majorca and try to get out there most weekends during the summer...

If i hear from you when it would be nice .... and if not i wish you luck on your quest....

Peter, like many others, was not dissuaded by my addendum to my personal ad:
Almost .... no stutter ..... and of course he was very nice to all in " a wonderful life " ... and most of the other listed things are .... well " cool "
.. sinister ( hmmmmm ) promiscuous ( more HMMMMM .. capital letters ) .. flexible and able to rationalise ... ( dont we all ) manipulative ( most women are ... its actauly a gift )
.... so you sound quite the lady .....
Now if i was a couch doctor i would probably find many things wrong with you .... however as i am not and of course my services are free ... and include the bottle of good wine and dinner ..... it may be well seen as " sinister " ..... " promiscuous " and " manipulative " .... but you decide.
I will of course promise not to bore you.....
Oh, I know you won't bore me, Peter. I won't let you.


  1. I'd like to see your tits, if it's not too much trouble. Kissie.

  2. If you are already so aware of social manipulation, wouldn't it make sense to you that some of these replies are posted by readers of your blogs in order to mess with you, not lonely craigslist searchers?

  3. I've wanted to ask you this, my S thinks so (well technically no longer MY S), but are all doms sociopathic do you think? I suppose all sociopaths are doms..


  4. Yeah yeah're a sociopath!! If you say so! But I would bet if you ever actually met Peter HE would be very very bored! It wouldn't surprise me to find out that you had been he victim of perhaps childhood bullying or emotional abuse, perhaps on the outside violence. You certainly don't have power in your life but for lying to yourself that you have sociopathic tendencies...hahaha! You are about as sociopathic as an after dinner mint! I strongly doubt that you are fact I doubt that you have much of a sex life at all. But goodness are a narcissist...and well now I am bored of you.

    1. I don't know about anyone else, but all my dinner mints are sociopathic. Gives 'em that nice little kick.

  5. Im going to throw out a theory. This theory is one that, if looked at objectively, is absolutely true, even though its damn near impossible to prove with solid fact unless you consider personal experiences (of not just myself, of course) to be factual enough.

    Its said that men are more often sociopaths than women. I disagree. In fact, I believe it is quite the opposite. Sociopaths aren't exactly stupid, though many can be. I believe there are more men than women that are STUPID sociopaths, but I would be inclined to say that more than half of all women are sociopaths, or at least exhibit many sociopathic tendencies (specifically, manipulative, rehearsed emotions, lying, blaming everybody but themselves) . As you even state, "Women are manipulative." Everybody knows this to be an absolute fact. Though every woman will tell you that not all women are manipulative, which is true but very glibly implies that they aren't manipulative themselves (which is assuredly false).

    Women, simply put, are just the smart sociopaths that haven't been "caught."

    1. Anon, that's stupid.

      Physiologically, the brains of men and women develop in such a way as to facilitate slight differences in their perception and processing of information. Women are more inclined to consider a situation holistically, while men are more likely to think linearly. Case in point: the corpus collosum, a brain structure which helps to integrate processes in multiple lobes of the brain, is thicker in women.
      Additionally, women are more inclined to express, whereas men are more inclined to internalize. In similar vein, women put more emphasis on emotional factors (influenced as well by physiological preference for serotonin/norepinephrine/oxytocin reward, versus male dopamine reward preference) when communicating with others, as opposed to men, who put more emphasis on tangible factors.
      This inclination towards holisticism, combined with greater attention to emotions of self and others, means that women are more likely to play on emotions in order to effect desired outcomes. This is manipulation, but most often it is not malicious, or even primarily self-serving. Most are typically not aware they are manipulating. (Sociopaths tend to be aware and deliberate when they are engaging in manipulative behavior.).
      A tendency toward manipulation is not assurance of sociopathy. Everyone is manipulative to an extent. Rehearsed (and learned/reinforced) emotions are the basis of societal lubricants such as small talk. And who has never expressed sympathy ("oh, that's too bad") not out of actual connection, but rather to pacify the person bothering them, or because such sympathy is expected, and one doesn't want to be insensitive? Everyone lies- another social lubricant, and useful in dodging uncomfortable blame or responsiblity. The most frequent recipient of the average person's lies is usually himself. Redirecting blame? Please. From the person so insecure you feel the need to vilify women (not that typifying them sociopathic is vilification, but the way you do it certainly is) to perpetuate your avoidance of your own shortcomings. Redirecting blame is one of the most common human defense mechanisms there is- everyone's a victim...or at least makes themselves or others believe so.

      I'd like to point out as well what is perhaps the most glaring error in your haphazard lashing-out at half the general population: The hallmark of sociopathy is a lack or extreme deficit of affective empathy. Obviously, 'more than half,' as you assert, of women are not sociopaths or high on the sociopathic spectrum. Certainly not any more so than men, in fact a couple percentage points less (gender gap again attributable to the emphasis on dopamine reward in the male brain and serotonin, norepinephrine, and oxytocin reward in the female brain).

      Or maybe my ovaries are just biologically predisposing me to remorselessly manipulate you. There, there.

      By the way. Keep in mind that these are generalizations, that physiology differs not just between the sexes but between the genders, as well as just person to person; and that I am a rationalist, not a sexist.


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