Thursday, March 12, 2015

It's not always depression

From a reader:

I recently read your book. I finished it yesterday actually. It's full of little highlighted sections that I marked that sounded just like me. It was eerie how recognizable your experiences were and how closely they seemed to mirror mine. I did not cry at my uncle's funeral. I knew him very well and grew up with him. He got brain cancer and everyone was very upset - he was a very kind, loving man. I can't remember a single person besides me who didn't cry, but for whatever reason, I just couldn't force myself to. I didn't feel anything at all, except mild curiosity. Was he still around somewhere else, like heaven? What does it feel like to die? And what does it feel like to love someone so much you react like everyone around me was reacting at his funeral? 

I used to torture ants, absolutely fascinated by their pathetic struggles on the sidewalk when I smushed parts of their bodies to see how long they could continue dragging themselves along. I didn't realize it was cruel until someone reacted with disgust (probably my mother). Whenever someone reacted to me with disgust, I always responded the same way. I acted contrite and then continued doing whatever I was doing, but much more carefully to avoid detection. 

I was also a perpetual liar and still am. I love to charm people - to be the person they want me to be exactly, even if I might bend some truths and tell some tales in doing so. I get bored with people who become too dependent or too attached and throw them away. I'm underage, but not a virgin, despite never being in a lasting relationship (longer than 4 weeks). 

When I was younger, I was sadistic towards my little sister. I loved hitting her, pulling her thick curly hair, and watching her eyes well up with tears. Sometimes I would blame my misdeeds on her so my parents would punish her for things she wasn't guilty of. Sometimes I would simply cut her apart verbally. I don't remember exactly why I did this, just that I did, and for immense pleasure from it. 

I wouldn't call myself a bully currently and I've never done anything officially criminal (except maybe the underage sex or that one - or two - times I shoplifted), but I do blackmail people sometimes and love the power it gives me. I value power far above intimacy. I love to be feared, and there's something about me that either draws people in or repulses them, because there's something not quite right about me.

I would consider myself high functioning. I'm usually pretty good at faking emotion (except at the funeral). I lie constantly, but rarely get caught. When I fail to follow through on promises, I act adequately contrite. I'm good at guessing what others feel through careful observation. My mother is convinced I'm absolutely fine.

I've told you all of this because I genuinely believe myself to be a sociopath. The above is all of my evidence that I am. However, I don't remember it myself, but my mother tells me I had irrational anxieties as a child. I was afraid of some things that made sense - like not 'fitting in' or being a 'freak' to my peers and aggressively tried to adapt correctly to avoid those things. I was also apparently afraid of bridges and grass, which I don't remember and don't understand. 

I have been diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder and depression. I do feel like I have less energy in the winter, and I know that my vitamin D levels are down, so seasonal affective is probably at least partially true. I feel bored a lot and fairly apathetic, but I'm not sure if I'm depressed. I often over exaggerate my sadness to get sympathy and favors from my parents. I also manipulated my therapist into sending me into the hospital by claiming to be suicidal because I didn't want to spend Christmas with my family before realizing how awful mental health wards are. 

I'm not actually sure how much of my depression/anxiety disorder symptoms are real and how much were simply manipulation. I feel like I can turn emotions on and off. If it's beneficial to cry, I can tap into sad emotions and bring myself to tears. If it's beneficial to stop crying, I become calm and no longer sad. I don't understand if I am sad or if I somehow manage to manipulate myself into feeling sad in order to cry in order to get things.

I'm emailing you because I know sociopaths are supposed to be immune to depression and anxiety so I'm wondering if you, knowing what you know, think I am a sociopath, or simply a delusional depressed girl who wants an easy explanation for her apathy and problems in life (such as difficulty relating to others). 

If I truly am a sociopath, it seems like my life will be fairly empty and flexible - ambiguous and spontaneous - which it is now. I'm wondering how you cope with the knowledge that you don't get to relate to people like others can or feel things that others can. Doesn't it bother you to know that others may be better off than you and you will never actually know whether or not they are? And if so, what do you do about it?

Thank you so much for your time and hopefully reply.

E.B.

From M.E.:

I don't think I have ever really put limits on what I am able and not able to do, even post diagnosis. To the extent that I describe myself in what may seem like a fixed way, it's more that I am trying to accurately describe myself in any moment, as you might describe the particular location or slope of a mathematical function with precision, all the while knowing that the function is constantly changing. 

I have had depression and anxiety symptoms. I have spoken with my current therapist about it. He says that depression and anxiety are common byproducts of an underlying issue. Let's say, for instance, you have been frustrated a long time. Or empty? The frustration or emptiness may eventually manifest themselves in a depressed mood if they persist. I think I taught myself, trained myself really, to be anxious. I found that I didn't naturally care for things that I should care for, so I trained myself to, the same way I trained myself as a musician to be really sensitive to fine changes in intonation and to abhor playing notes that are even slightly out of tune, when before when I was younger I wouldn't even notice it.

UPDATE: This is an interesting NY Times article about how depression can be symptoms of other issues (in this one, it is shame and lack of emotional awareness).

140 comments:

  1. This should be really deprerssing. Why and I laughing?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because this is the sort of thing that makes a self-described sexless, insignificant, worthless meat bag laugh?

      :)

      Delete
    2. A,

      "...sexless, insignificant, worthless meat bag...."

      Apparently, there is no cure for you.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90u5Ar9OBgo

      Delete
    3. @ A and RA: Get a room already!!! Or post it on the internet - whatever. 8)~

      Delete
    4. How very clever, anonymouse- allowing Youtube links to say what you lack the eloquence to express. But I'm not the one who thinks those things about him. I've merely reframed *his* beliefs about himself, and all other humans.

      It isn't my fault that you lack the perspicacity to understand this.

      Delete
    5. @HL, I'll pass. Given his condition, it wouldn't do us a lick of good. XD

      Delete
    6. A,

      "...allowing Youtube links to say what you lack the eloquence to express...."

      Apparently, it manifests in you in more than one way. What can I say, you "double-speak." I crown you king of:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90u5Ar9OBgo

      "@HL, I'll pass. Given his condition, it wouldn't do us a lick of good."

      A "lick" of good? Why, yes, this is exactly what a pornographer would say.

      I lack the perspicacity to understand this? No, you just don't know when to keep your mouth shut, and I know more than you think I do.

      Delete
    7. A,

      "I've merely reframed *his* beliefs about himself, and all other humans."

      Translation. Let's watch:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xmMSt0-ulM

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E67VZTOzK3w

      Delete
    8. If you would refute my statements, by all means, refute them. So far, you've attempted to show me Seinfeld clips and a few Nigerian quack doctors. I'm not actually going to watch those.

      Delete
    9. @AnonyMousE 435... Since you know so much, why not enlighten the rest of the class?

      Why do you want me to keep my mouth shut, I wonder? So that you can keep lecturing, uncontested?

      I know more than you think I do, too.

      Delete
    10. HLH,

      "@ A and RA: Get a room already!!! Or post it on the internet - whatever. 8)~"

      Do you actually think that you can belittle and brainwash RA with this garbage? No, everybody knows exactly who you are.

      Delete
    11. ♬ What a De-LU-SI-ON-AL twat! ♬

      :D

      Delete
    12. @yellowbellied agnostic 513: Just like I now know who *you* are. I seeeee you! xD

      Delete
    13. A,

      Again, This is not "A's Pornographic World." You have no control whatsoever.

      Delete
    14. I really wanted to say something, but A said it all at 5:18PM...

      Delete
    15. A at 5:18 PM and everywhere else (all comments):

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90u5Ar9OBgo

      Delete
    16. A meat bag sounds delicious. Perhaps loaded with bacon and steak.

      Delete
  2. It might be possible that depression manifests differently in sociopaths than in empaths. Depression is not just sadness, as the teen points out, but also lack of energy or will to do normal things (work, school, hygienic behaviors, etc).

    As for anxiety, everyone can experience it, stress is not really a feeling, but a reaction to stimuli or over stimuli. If trying to fit in creates anxiety for you, perhaps you need to do it less, it might mean socializing less or spending more time with people who accept you the way you are, either way would minimize stress.

    Interesting subject that would be great to study so that we can provide answers to this community.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "t might be possible that depression manifests differently in sociopaths than in empaths."

      yeah.. in they way that it doesn't. Socio's are not depressed. They can lose interest in work etc. but they are always scamming, always trying to find an angle for a certain situation. So there is no time or place for self reflection,dwelling.

      I think however if a socio is limited in his movements, like in jail. It might be possible for him to get depressed (if he can't scam anything or can't fight his case)

      Delete
    2. Being placed into a situation where you are not in control, or some other similar frustration, prison, poverty, public humiliation, can manifest itself as depression or anxiety over time in sociopaths.

      Many empaths are able to "accept" being stuck in one spot and are complacent, but sociopaths can get frustrated quickly when all their plans keep failing.

      We are used to getting what we want on our own terms, not getting strung along like a donkey with a dangling carrot tied onto it. Once we find a way that works, though, that frustration/anxiety/depression clears up and we're back to our powerful selves once more.

      I went through a rut of heavy anxiety after a series of unfortunate and highly unforeseeable accidents drove me into living with people I couldn't stand. It felt like a jail cell and whenever I ended up sitting about in there, I'd suddenly have strong waves of fear, to the point my eyes would well up and cry without a thought of it. I'd get frustrated even further when nothing I did would make it stop, and it would cycle again and get worse and worse.

      Moment I had the means to live on my own again, it all disappeared and no circumstances whatsoever have brought back those feelings.

      I shudder to think about prison. I'd sooner die than live in another cage again. I had never thought I could be so weak, and never had I thought I would not have control over my mind and body in such a way.

      Delete
  3. If an experiment with empaths & "ordinary sociopaths" were launched where they both lived in a neighbourhood & then the crime-levels were measured I´m pretty convinced the empaths would win big. I´m pretty sure these also lied more, behaved like drunken bastards more & teased their relatives more & kicked cats for no reason other than pure malice. They danced with their cocks out at christmas & shat on the lawn. If caught and questioned they would whisper they had deep suspicions they were psychopaths..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dont the scriptures tell that socios never suffer from depression? They´re supposed to have "mood swings" just like fictive Dexter, none. Did Hannibal appear to have any blue days? Dont think so. Empath=bohoo. Psycho=flat line but not all dead.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Major depression is what brought me close to suicide and getting into some real therapy. In the end, one cold say that I was depressed because as hard as I tried, relationships would unravel (usually in spectacular fashion) - largely because I don't have the same "cocktail of love." Or, they would "latch on" and I would run screaming (after a few weeks) because they couldn't hold my interest longer than that.

    I'm not sure I buy the shame/anxiety idea - at least for myself. I am practically void of shame (did someone say, "rock out with my cock out?") and I'm not a particularly anxious person - I'm a bit of a fish these days, really.

    For me the source really was my lack of connection and my perception that it was something I had to overcome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is both you and your partner:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghFEzNRyZVE

      Delete
    2. LOL

      You delusional twat! :D

      Delete
    3. A,

      Since when does speaking the truth make one "delusional?"
      Correction: This is not "A's Pornographic World."

      And watch your vulgar language. It is making you look even smaller and insignificant, uncouth varmint.

      Delete
    4. Fucking Smartie - you REALLY need to get laid. Maybe you'd stop trolling here and move on to PornographyWorld or whatever it is that gives you a knot.

      I didn't bother with the Nigerian docs either -

      Delete
    5. Hush! Still thy foul tongue, Rogue- lest I cut it off with my blade!

      Thy narcissistic narratives shall naught take root here.

      This is *sociopathworld*, thou misplaced miscreant. You're on our turf now, Princess. :)

      Delete
    6. HLH, I didn't bother with any of your boorish and inane comments.

      Delete
    7. A,

      "This is *sociopathworld*, thou misplaced miscreant. You're on our turf now, Princess."

      This is not your "turf," pornographer. THIS IS M.E.'S TURF.
      You and your trolling partner disgust me.

      Delete
    8. "Fucking Smartie - you REALLY need to get laid. Maybe you'd stop trolling here and move on to PornographyWorld or whatever it is that gives you a knot."

      Other people don't thrive on pornography as you do. You're absolutely repulsive.

      Delete
    9. Wait, wait, wait...

      A is a pornographer??! Why didn't anyone tell me? Does M.E. know about this?

      How much do you pay for a scene? XD

      Delete
    10. I'm thinking A and M.E. as dom twins and me as a sub pizza delivery guy that's trapped in their basement and secretly is thinking to himself, "I can top these 2 from the bottom...". We'll call it "Make Him hurt Slowly".

      Delete
    11. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90u5Ar9OBgo

      Delete
    12. The real Damaged did not post the comments at 7:23 PM and 7:27 PM.
      A/HLH as Superchicks using Damaged's name, and trolling everyone and everything. Let's call it "Gays without brains."

      Delete
    13. @A: If you're a pornographer, I have a friend at AVN.

      Delete
    14. Did you forget your math....or what you really thrive on?

      HLH+A = two pornographers.

      HLH, you told people who asked what you did for a living that you were a pornographer.

      SUPERCHICKS!

      Delete
    15. Damaged, you tease, it looks like you've got a Secret Admirer. From fake serial killers to Princess Petunia. You sure run the gamut!

      HLH, I'm a CEO. Same difference. ;)

      Delete
    16. Okokok. Lemme get this straight.

      @Uptight Anon....

      So, in your vast intellectual superiority, you've managed to deduce that I'm HLH, Damaged, and TWO Superchicks.

      Damn. I'm a one person gang-bang! XD

      Delete
    17. Which Anon are you talking about, A? There are so many.
      It looks like you've lost your marbles...or count of them.

      Delete
    18. You know... The outraged, cowardly one without an identity, who corrects our vulgar language, and thinks I'm a male pornographer posing as three separate posters.

      And you say *I'm* the one losing marbles. :)

      How observant of you.~

      Delete
    19. @Moth

      If I wasn't so committed to keeping my flame under control, I would suggest that we give Uptight Anon something REALLY worthy of her outrage...... ;)



      Delete
    20. Fuck. I've got to go now, or I'm not going to be good. :P

      Delete
    21. How did you feel the depression? I have bipolar disorder, but I thought sociopaths don't feel too much so how can they get on the lows, real lows, like suicidal as you mentioned?

      Delete
    22. A,

      "If I wasn't so committed to keeping my flame under control, I would suggest that we give Uptight Anon something REALLY worthy of her outrage...... ;)"

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quu9Uzmjs50

      /s

      Delete
    23. @MP: It's not something that was one time. It's something I manage.

      For me, the definition of depression is "anger without the enthusiasm." I don't get wistful, but I withdraw to reduce the backlash - I can be a really sour prick in those moods. Part of this is shutting down emotionally - the older I get the easier and faster I do it. As long as I don't do anything that needs later processing, I'm usually OK - took a while to learn that.

      There is also a strong anhedonia component - I can't seem to get a dopamine kick no matter how hard I try. I used to try to force it with an adrenaline rush (stupid activities that make for fun stories later).

      Another aspect of it is that I'm not really all that put off by death or suicide - death is inevitable and sometimes I think it will be a relief.

      Here's an example I share from time to time: I get migraines. Bad ones. All my life. I tried Imitrex (a vasoconstrictor) some years ago for the first time during an attack. My chest tightened up and as I was blacking out (believing I was having a heart attack) the thought that went through my mind was, "well at least the headache will be over." It was my first clue that I might need angioplasty (which I did some years later).

      Finally, there is also a seasonal component (cold/dark = bad; warm/sunny = good). So every year there is an element of relief when the time changes and the weather warms (about this time of year, in fact).

      I don't know if that really answers your question -

      Delete
    24. HLH,

      "When Idiots Attack:"

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AM3xLpWYgh4

      "I don't know if that really answers your question -"

      The sly/dishonest meaning and underlying, "chicanery" purpose of your so-called answer denotes the following about you:

      Who is HLH?

      "Nobody. I am nobody. I'm a tramp, a bum....a jug of wine. And a straight razor, if you get too close to me.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9QXY80OxS0

      Fitting, "Old" clips....

      Delete
    25. @ HLHaller: yes, totally! and how did you or do you get over the blues? Definitely being in a sunny city has helped me, also reducing stress.

      Delete
    26. @MP: Mostly I ignore the feelings until I shut down. I learned an important idea in therapy: "it's just a feeling; it does not have to be acted on."

      Stripping away all of the energy of "fighting it," leaves the anhedonia, which I mostly "wait it out." If I really need to "feel" better, I will get buzzed (beer/wine/hash), but "medicating my way out of it" isn't a good long tern solution - it's a break I give myself from time to time.

      The real relief comes when things warm up and get sunny though -

      @Smartie: "Who is HLH?" I'm just an asshole on the internet - you give me WAY too much credit.

      Delete
    27. HLH,

      "Who is HLH?" I'm just an asshole on the internet - you give me WAY too much credit."

      Fitly. Bravo!

      Let's see HLH/A (double-dealing at play - "half-old-timer-Manson-male and half-pornographer-female," so to speak) in action:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUBPt5S6V-w

      Delete
  6. Shameless men were cavorting
    their noses white due to snorting
    this was surely not illegal at all
    it was baking stuff from the mall

    Because it was christmas that day
    they danced with dicks filled with hay
    it was all done with the law in mind
    the stern sheriff no outlaws could find..

    ReplyDelete
  7. Why did they dance with cocks made from hay some reader may wonder? It was "heathen" pre-christian stuff going on..

    ReplyDelete
  8. Quack, quack, said the quack. Whenever I want inspiration or distraction, I come here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is still not "HLH/A's Pornographic World." Powerless.

      Delete
    2. They come here to act aggressively. There is so much anger and hate inside of them.

      Delete
    3. Anger and hate, not so much.
      All I see is desperation for attention.
      Pitiful and very tedious.

      Delete
    4. In addition, the two of them are powerless. They just can't seem to understand that having power over others is just an illusion in their heads.

      Delete
    5. Powerless? Really?

      I sure seem to be exercising some sort of power over you, since I already have you deluded into believing that I'm a throng of people. Moreover, you've spent the majority of your day launching an angry tirade against "us".

      Damn. I'm *so* good that you can't bear the thought that there's just one of me. XD

      Delete
    6. Hell, I didn't even have to try.

      Delete
    7. A/HLH,

      "I sure seem to be exercising some sort of power over you, since I already have you deluded into believing that I'm a throng of people. Moreover, you've spent the majority of your day launching an angry tirade against "us".

      Damn. I'm *so* good that you can't bear the thought that there's just one of me. XD

      Hell, I didn't even have to try."

      In other words (spoken and visual translation, as you sound to me):

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9g-U2-cAUMM

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9QXY80OxS0

      Delete
  9. It definitely isn't always depression. For anyone suffering from depression, I recommend the Destroy Depression system http://inersche.com/2015/02/26/destroy-depression-system-a-review/. It was written by a man who cured his own depression naturally, it teaches 7 steps which help to eliminate depression from your life. It may have just saved my life.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've suffered from depression. Stephen Illardi's book THE DEPRESSION CURE was helpful to me. I am skeptical that there is one formula that works for everybody. In my case exercise and improving diet, cutting down a bad job situation and long commutes helped. In the long run, there is no "cure" except telling yourself appropriate and adequate lies (such as religious belief). Because in the long run, "Life is a bitch and in the end you die."

    ReplyDelete
  11. What's so bad about being "unaffected?" Is it because this culture tells you
    it's normal to be affected? Or, that something is wrong with you if you are not?
    The cause of misery is identification, depandency, and attachment. Or, as the
    late Dr. Albert Ellias said, "Musturbation."
    You have been told that you cannot be happy unless you get the specific
    defined result you want. Naturally, this impeads your ability to be happy.
    So how can you be happy? Non identifaction. That Grandfather (God love him)
    that was placed in the ground, is just another human being. That lover that left
    isn't the only fish in the sea. It is your THOUGHTS ABOUT the past that
    resserect it.
    Now, I don't say this applies to a toddler that lost it's parent. In such a case they
    must be helped. You have to make provisions for your physical up keep, and
    stay out of certain part's of town, and be lucky enough not to run into a serial
    killer. But except for those few exceptions, you CAN be reasonably happy no
    matter what befalls you.
    I reccomend a mixture of Buddhism, Suffi Islam, Avendia Hindusim, Zen and
    Daoism as study aids. Cain, from "Kung Fu" was never miserable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "The cause of misery is identification, depandency, and attachment."

      Attachment?

      You married your partner due to love and attachment, meaning connecting, having strong feelings/emotions and relating to another (I read your wedding vows, which were posted/published online). You are doing all of this in real life, but online, you're shamelessly trying to brainwash and to destroy other people and relationships by disturbingly acting as the opposite of what you are. In truth, you're an irritated, intrusive, attention-seeking and uncouth empath, and so is your partner. In addition, you seek revenge/arguments/fights, erroneously thinking that you can destroy the deep connections, attachment and lives of others for your personal gain and satisfaction. As a "bonus," as you or your partner would call it, you'd be getting lots of attention because of it, too.
      So, no, you can't experiment with the brains, attitudes, feelings and behaviors of others. You can't manipulate and turn anyone into an unfeeling, cold and emotionless person for your personal gain. You can't tell anyone how s/he should love or express that love. You, as an empath, can't brainwash anyone into becoming a sociopath for your personal gain/attention/online business, revenge and so forth. You don't have that POWER over people.

      In fact, this is what you do:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xmMSt0-ulM

      Delete
    2. "The cause of misery is identification, depandency, and attachment."

      Attachment?

      You married your partner due to love and attachment, meaning connecting, having strong feelings/emotions and relating to another (I read your wedding vows, which were posted/published online). You are doing all of this in real life, but online, you're shamelessly trying to brainwash and to destroy other people and relationships by disturbingly acting as the opposite of what you are. In truth, you're an irritated, intrusive, attention-seeking and uncouth empath, and so is your partner. In addition, you seek revenge/arguments/fights, erroneously thinking that you can destroy the deep connections, attachment and lives of others for your personal gain and satisfaction. As a "bonus," as you or your partner would call it, you'd be getting lots of attention because of it, too.
      So, no, you can't experiment with the brains, attitudes, feelings and behaviors of others. You can't manipulate and turn anyone into an unfeeling, cold and emotionless person for your personal gain. You can't tell anyone how s/he should love or express that love. You, as an empath, can't brainwash anyone into becoming a sociopath for your personal gain/attention/online business, revenge and so forth. You don't have that POWER over people.

      In fact, this is what you do:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xmMSt0-ulM

      Delete
    3. I posted my comment twice by mistake. I didn't see that it posted the first time and re-posted. However, my comment was meant for two individuals, so even though it happened due to an error, it does work out in terms of emphasis.

      Delete
    4. I am not sure when I will travel to Nigeria again, but in the unlikely event I do, how can I find a doctor who will not kill me? Don't worry about posting twice. We love you anyway. Post four times if you want.

      Delete
    5. Those quacks are powerless, RA.

      "We love you anyway."

      Ditto.

      Delete
    6. @Uptight Anon,

      My wedding vows online? ROFL!!!

      You are *completely* out of your mind.

      Honestly. You are one of the most uptight, angry, delusional people I have ever had the pleasure of trolling here- and I've worked through a bunch of characters, so that is truly saying something.

      Look at you, spewing off about my being 6 different posters, the lot of us pornographers. I've managed to irritate you so much that you've worked yourself into a veritable posting frenzy! You're nothing short of hilarious. :D

      Look how easily I've managed to get right under your thin skin. A few simple comments, and I've provoked you into an angry, frenetic tailspin of inaccurate deductions, conclusions and resulting posts.


      I mean, really. Look at your behavior objectively, for a moment, if you possess that capacity. One Seinfeld clip after another, all day long... *Essays* attempting to justify your ridiculous, grossly inaccurate conclusions and mischaracterizations. An online goose chase seeking to ferret out an identity that you couldn't be further from pinpointing! If this is you "behaving calmly", as you claimed, I'd hate to see you upset. It is very plain to everyone that you're frothing at the mouth, by now. xD

      *Nonexistent weaknesses*? Ha ha! That's about as convincing as your claim of being tranquil. In reality, you're an uptight, prudish, emotional train wreck of a neurotic narcissist, Uptight. Your weaknesses are written all over your "eloquent", painfully verbose treatises, which are veritably suffused with you smug superiority complex.


      You are clearly unaware of what a complete *fool* you are making of yourself, Uptight, but believe me, everyone else can see it very plainly.

      On behalf of sociopathworld, thank-you for the quality entertainment you've provided for everyone, at your personal expense.

      By all means, keep it up. :)





      Delete
    7. HLH/A

      I am miles above you, capable of eloquence and emotional depth that white trash like you can only aspire to. You are like a speck of dust under my beautiful foot. I would step on like the varmint you are. Rightly.

      Delete
    8. HLH/A,

      On re-examination, this is what you're really like on the inside. Showing your true colors on here has become unduly evident. Take a look at what you sound like to me and, most likely, to others who happen to read your comments:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xioCGmZVoqw

      My advice to you? Find a cure for it.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07EZrBF5cq0

      Delete
  12. A,

    "How very clever, anonymouse- allowing Youtube links to say what you lack the eloquence to express."

    My eloquence? Why, yes, you commented that my eloquence and ideas are "beautifully stated." Saying the opposite to irritate me, thinking that you've found some sort of weakness (nonexistent in me) is quite obvious. Your inane, half-baked "methods" don't work on me. What's more, I don't see any eloquence in you, including your mode of dry, envious, cowardly and bitter expression. And, by the way, eloquence of expression has its own time and place. Sometimes, a video or "an image/picture is worth a thousand words." Are you going to argue with that, too?

    Anonymous March 1, 2015 at 1:05 PM

    A,

    There are different types of dances, and each one has its characteristic and particular triggers. As a train of thought or even flowing with an idea about it in a more artistic sense, take, for instance, and compare the evolution of dances/dancing throughout the ages. I believe that each one of us can possibly place himself or herself in a specific age or era in time, suitable to our own style and connected to your comment on it. I understand your point, though, but what I have always felt is that each one of us identifies with a certain beat or a flow that has its place in its evolution. While not aiming for a particular order, since there isn't one when it comes to this subject, some of them are the Classic and Postclassic eras, the Baroque times, the Progressive Era, the Petrine Era, the Age of Discovery, The Postmodern Age, the Atomic Age, the Vedic Period, the Romantic Era, the Golden Age of Piracy, the Iron Age, the Gupta Empire, the Space Age, and the Age of Enlightenment. Having said that, each one of them had its fleeting emotion and "flash in the pan," because, as we all know, each one has passed.

    Of course, like dancing to a beat versus an original composition, lust versus love are two different areas altogether. And you're quite right in saying that people overemphasize the emotional aspect of love. Love is not an emotion, because an emotion, like feelings, can indeed be fleeting. I believe that love as an authentic composition is the most complex phenomenon. I say phenomenon because of its stable originality. It surely entails commitment and choice, and unlike a transitory or fading dance of lust, love is deep-rooted and solid. It also encompasses respect and trust.


    A March 1, 2015 at 1:33 PM

    "Very interesting perspective. I've never studied dance, or experienced it as anything more than a purely visceral indulgence that I like to engage in from time to time. Are you a musician?

    I agree with your statement concerning love. Beautifully stated."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Continuing what I truly meant to convey:

      That authentic composition is a strong, high and soaring passion that never dies. There is no chore in it, and it springs forth naturally, originating from that distinct connection that knows no bounds. It makes one feel alive, seeking it, and truly knowing that it is the love that s/he has always meant to experience in all of its strength.

      Delete
    2. You appear to *know* a lot about dancing, Uptight, although I doubt that you actually *can*- what with those knickers so tightly wound in a wet bunch. You are obviously a highly self-conscious, awkward person. I don't think you could give yourself over to a visceral rhythm if your life depended upon it.

      I furthermore agree with your original statement that love is not merely an emotion, but a commitment and choice which encompasses love and trust. In fact, you were agreeing with and parroting *my* definition in your comment.

      Yet you contradict yourself: In the next breath, you state that it is a "high, strong, soaring passion that never subsides, in which there is no chore."

      So which is it?

      Obviously, you don't have kids, LOL.

      So yeah. I'm calling you on that shit you spewed concerning your "soul-mate". You obviously have no practical experience with long-term relationships.

      You're a fraud. There's nothing real about you, or the verbose, contrived statements with which you try so hard to impress.

      What are you doing here, anyway? Do you claim to be a sociopath, Uptight?

      Do you consider yourself to have a charitable ministry, here? Is that what you're all about? Or are you too chicken-shit to give me a straight answer, coward?

      Delete
    3. HLH/A,

      This is a fitting reflection of your inner, true self. Moreover, this is what your comments and uncontrolled, mindless and unchecked questions sound like to me:

      "Charles Manson's Epic Question"

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XREnvJRkif0

      Delete
  13. Anon 7.29 how come such an intelligent and philosophical being like you wastes his time on a place like this filled with mental-disturbed persons without a conscience and some wannabe losers? You deserve more man, go find love, get laid, live your life.
    Dont come here trying to fix this people

    ReplyDelete
  14. have to say that sarcasm is my thing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a "she"- and apparently she's here to "enlighten" all the dead, hollow sociopaths who frequent this site with her heartfelt empathy and unsurpassed wisdom. But don't you dare swear or make any sexual references in your posts, or you'll incur her venomous wrath, which she will manifest with an endless barrage of Seinfeld clips and Nigerian quacks. She never does anything disreputable, and has no weaknesses. We can be sure of this, because she says so.

      I'm the resident pornographer. Pleased to meet you. ;)

      Delete
    2. A/HLH,

      "I'm the resident pornographer. Pleased to meet you. ;)"

      HLH/A = The resident Not-Phony, "NotPuttingonanAir" at all:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePfwayktIus

      Delete
    3. Pleased to meet you too resident pornographer A.

      So Anon is a ''she'', get the impression that she's the old cat lady still virgin who has so much empathy that feels the need to share it. I know the type

      Delete
    4. Abc,

      Resident "dope"..."I know the type."

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=613hHzdp6lk

      Delete
    5. I you go back a few months you'll find a poster that went by Stay Smart - sounds a lot like this uptight old bag. I think you're not far off with the cat lady thing.

      @ Smartie: so, how many cats do you have?

      Delete
    6. HLH,

      You're right, I am giving you WAY too much credit. Let's watch:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cey35bBWXls

      How many cats does Stay Smart have?

      Let's ask HLH/A (the fairly recent-old-timer clip):

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6oC4PtpsQY

      You wish you were as young as Stay Smart, old timer. Truly.

      Delete
    7. LOL! I like my wrinkles and grey - one of the perks of being a guy you dried up old hag.

      Delete
  15. A/HLH/Superchicks,

    While I am not an attorney, THIS is what an attorney calls "wiping the Courtroom floor with" when prosecuting criminals and quacks who attempt or go through with shamelessly abusing, psychologically offending and talking a seriously depressed person into committing suicide. THIS is how they become EXPOSED.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You only serve to expose your own lack of deductive prowess and intelligence in posts like these.

      I would never provoke anyone to suicide. Except in rare exceptions, I am pro-life, ya bloody moron! XD

      LOL

      Delete
    2. As usual Smartie, you make no sense and you are clearly here to get some abuse that justifies the fact that no one has fucked you in all of your 56 years. Didjagetwhatchacamefor?

      While I have no desire to provoke anything I will ask that if you off yourself, make it something worth posting on the internet. I am really and truly sick of cat videos (and Seinfeld clips - I didn't even like that show when it was on the air!).

      As to being a pornographer, I am looking for a job...

      Delete
    3. A/HLH,

      "Wiping the Courtroom floor with you: PART II (quite succinctly)"

      Your "eloquence," as stated in your own words "Didjagetwhatchacamefor," serves as a true and apt reflection of the below:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhQI47DFsWU

      Delete
    4. LOL!!! Why thank you! That's the nicest thing anyone's said in a while - I do enjoy ChuckyM!

      So, you either like the abuse (my theory) or you're a delusional twat (A's theory). I gotta say - I'm torn...

      Delete
    5. HLH/A/Superchick (Since you have a double or triple and so forth "personality" on here, I can really understand your confusion and being torn.),

      No, you can't abuse me. Your dream will never come true, old timer. I'm too strong and young for your antics and relics.

      You're as close to abusing me as these people are to winning. Let's comprehend this better, enhancing it with a FOSSIL clip of a visual:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv3gK2bmkAk

      Delete
    6. Watching someone get "all wrapped around the axel" is pretty funny -

      Delete
  16. Is it true that sociopaths are incapable of trusting anyone? If so, is that because they know themselves to be untrustworthy? And if love blooms within the cozy cradle of trust, how then can a sociopath love? If love always entails sacrifice and compromise, how, in what manner, does a socio make sacrifices for the one they love?

    Just curious.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Our species is untrustworthy. Right now someone is planting a nuclear bomb in your flower garden.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi RA, still alive i see, why dont you go to Africa so that Ebola can take care of your life, you wont have to find yourself getting bored on places like this anymore

      Delete
    2. I am too old and dumb. Actually, my brother spent three years in Senegal in the peace corps. As he is a talented guitarist (who hates rock and roll), he became the lead guitarist for a rock and roll band who almost became the national champion band of Senegal. Well, t doesn't take much talent to play rock and roll. At the moment, my plan is to stay alive until I am not alive any more. Do you have a better plan?

      Delete
    3. One can win a socios trust, if that person starts acting like a well trained dog. Then the socio will trust him. But as soon as any integrity comes back, he´ll be on the "not to be trusted" list again. More refined socios trust people that never ever let them down for say 30 years even if they do not behave like puppets.

      Delete
    4. Ra, has your brother met Souleyman Faye?

      Delete
    5. Abc/HLH/A,

      "Hi RA, still alive i see, why dont you go to Africa so that Ebola can take care of your life, you wont have to find yourself getting bored on places like this anymore"

      "Just go puff," as you'd "say," and as it's "said/reflected" in here:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3us1bMwlUVM

      Delete
    6. Just so you know, I'm not HLH or A,

      Advice: stop being so paranoid, you look stupid catlady

      Delete
    7. Abc,

      What can I say? We're witnessing "eloquent," "haiku" poems in the making.

      "Just so you know,
      I'm not HLH or A,
      Advice:
      stop being so paranoid, you look stupid catlady

      Pleased to meet you too
      resident pornographer A.

      get the impression that
      she's the old cat lady still virgin
      who has so much empathy
      I know the type"

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_e-TUhRbrI

      Delete
  18. Fang:

    most likely no one will give you an honest answer cos even socio's are confused too,
    I can explain my view point however:
    Lets say I meet a new person, she's smart, good looking and is fun to have around.
    Now I'm sure you've heard that socio's treat persons like their possessions and is kind of true. I like to have around me a nice and successful women. And as long as I get along well with them, then I would try my best to protect and help them, to some extent. I wouldn't like to lose such a person.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dangerous spider spreading in europe: one bite gives the victim hourlong erection. If somebody is planning a vacation here beware of the the erective arachnid. It means business. It inflates male organs to proportions the christian God never intended. So look out. Its evil plan has fermented for years & now it has crept forth from the shadows..

    ReplyDelete
  20. What a treat. Every day, I think, "I don't believe I will see anything stupider, more insane, more offensive than what I saw on SW yesterday." And low and behold. We go from amoeba shit, to rotifer shit, to mouse shit, tto rat shit, to gopher shit, to dog shit, to elk shit. Keep this us and we will soon hit whale shit. Then the world ends.

    Right here on Sociopath World, courtesy of one of the millions of imaginary gods paths pretend to worship.

    ReplyDelete
  21. To the real Damaged,

    I can tell that you are a sensitive, courteous man. Do not be ashamed to tell A/HLH how REPULSED you are by their vile pornographic speech, and how disgusted you are by their impersonation of you. You do not have to fear retribution. Let us expose the superchicks trolls together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous,

      The real Damaged would feel repulsed and disgusted, but he is not fearful.

      Delete
    2. A,

      I've read your posts from the last few days. I don't like you impersonating me and I've had just about enough of your pornographic talk.

      Shut your mouth or I'll fuck it.

      Delete
    3. Damaged- the name says all. You cant shut A's mouth, were on internet, and she probably got bored of you already first. As Anon said you're not ''fearful'' so why dont you get life by the balls and start confront everyone that bothers you on here.
      You deserve some respect man, defend yourself.
      So on the next post I want you to confront everyone, and dont give up until you'll make someone cry.

      Delete
    4. Abc,

      "Damaged- the name says all."

      You're absolutely clueless.

      So, this is what you get for your mindless statement above:

      Can you solve this puzzle, Abc?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmitE0TQiQY

      Delete
    5. " A,

      I've read your posts from the last few days. I don't like you impersonating me and I've had just about enough of your pornographic talk.

      Shut your mouth or I'll fuck it."

      I doubt the real Damage would say that. I'm assuming Anonymous might have wrote that herself. Smells like doc's trolling. Can't prove it , but I smell her from here. ;)

      Delete
    6. Doc tends to get like that when she's in alter mode. If that's you doc, play away cookie - it's entertaining to watch when I'm bored soaking in the tub. I'm laughing at you - not with you of course. Nice to see someone put you in ur place after all your deflection onto some others around here.

      Delete
    7. So Doc likes being treated rough - good to know. ;p~

      Delete
    8. Superchick,

      "I'm assuming Anonymous might have wrote that herself."

      I would never impersonate Damaged. What's more, I would neither use such words, nor say such a thing to anyone. It's not me or my style.

      Delete
    9. No, Uptight, you wouldn't. You'll post an endless litany of boring clips that nobody will watch in an ill-conceived crusade to support your hare-brained theories, instead.

      Stick to poetry and researching all the dances you'll never be able to perform. As we have seen, character analysis is not your forte.

      HLH, Uptight is a repressed masochist in obvious need of relief. We should consider our interventions to be therapeutic. XD







      Delete
    10. Superchick, that is *exactly* what the real Damaged would say. He's an insufferable tease. ;)

      Delete
  22. No Uptight, *you're* clueless. I'm not HLH, ABC, Superchick, or someone pretending to be Damaged. I'm just me. You just can't stand the thought that anyone else might see your comments for the delusional tripe they actually consist of. You're so wound up in your own self righteousness that you can't hear past the sound of your own voice. Classic.

    @The "real" Damaged (lol)

    You aren't helping me to be good. Slut. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There should be a like button on sociopath world. ✓ ✓

      Delete
    2. I was going to post an outline of the movie. Then I was going to post a treatment. That turned into a script. Which turned into a jerk session that would've made Caligula blush.

      And I thought I was really doing good with my impulse control... :(

      Delete
    3. LOL

      Now you're making *me* blush. ;)

      Impulse control is a very, very tricky thing. :P

      Delete
    4. ROTFLMAO!!! This really has been a fun thread!

      I think N used to call these "hoedowns." 8)~

      Delete
    5. I just keep thinking of all the interesting ways I want to Hurt You Slowly...

      Exquisitely and excruciatingly slowly...
      :)

      Delete
    6. That's a slippery slope. Don't try to go down it. You'll only get into trouble.

      Delete
    7. But I'm so good at going down....

      ....Said the moth to the flame. ;)

      Delete
    8. that scene in The Abyss...

      Delete
    9. Fuck it. That scene in 9 1/2 Weeks.

      I can't be in your bed, but I can be in your head. Lol.

      Delete
    10. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Na-rQy9PRlA

      Delete
    11. Since we're posting music....
      https://vimeo.com/13603714

      Strangers. ;)

      Delete
    12. And another one of my favorites... Because I can't wait to be rid of the snow, so I can "step from the road to the sea to the sky..."

      http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=o7MhpFF1vv0

      Listen to both, LOUD. :)

      Delete
    13. You are not in my head. You cannot be in my head. You are not that significant. Having episodic periods of men u stration in your administration? Or delusions again? Or hallucinations? Or those grandiose illusions of idollations of masculinity absurdity you obviously think you are profoundly perrrrfect at meowing? Go kiss yourself in the mirror again. Practice in the mirror of which multi personality disorder cloak you will ware for the next few hours. Go scratch your ass while you are busy scratching your balls as violating dumbass. Anyone that knows me knows that kissing my ass is imperative. Especially while I am correct and angered. Afraid of losing a face to face argument with me? That is even more pathetic. Your head still trying to present itself out of your ass? Do not remove the blue butt plug! The fecal impaction may help with not taking your psych medications as prescribed. Anyone that can tolerate you for more than 30 seconds is your goddess. Call her queen shit for brains.

      Delete
  23. Do you need an urgent spell to get your ex back, there is a great spiritualist who can help you, his name is Dr Brave!!

    An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is Natasha Johnson,i live in Florida,USA,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with three kids. A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husban

    ReplyDelete
  24. Tell Dr. Brave that he needs an enema. Mineral oil is the usual first.
    Then a blast of salt to salt him for her next meal. Do ask pepper if her manager still longs to kiss my hand again. He begged. That was the day after I made a multi million killing with some doctors. Word to the unwise, you get more with sugar and honey than spice and sour puss. Go do your usual wah wah wah wussy petty meow to your pussy. I am not her. She grew balls and now own your penis. All over a true joke in regard to a man's unusual looking penis. I happen to be educated in the correct design of the human body. Did you know? An upside down penis maybe classified as a tale of two cities. A double edged sword sewn and tied back on her body now instead of yours.. Has your leash on Bourbon Street jiggied that lose yet? Ask your groupies on the balconies. Your own absurdity caused this reaction from me. Congratulations.

    ReplyDelete
  25. OMG!!,I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back. My name is Natasha Johnson,i live in Florida,USA,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with three kids. A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website { http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr Brave for bringing back my husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. { bravespellcaster@gmail.com }, Thanks..

    ReplyDelete
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