Monday, September 21, 2015

"How psychopaths can save your life"

... is the title of a Kevin Dutton piece in the Guardian that I retweeted. Here are some quotable quotes:

This “new science” of psychopathy has met with resistance from many clinicians. And with good reason: their job means they only get to meet bad psychopaths. I’ve met them, too. But I have also met people more likely to save your life than take it. I wouldn’t go for a curry with many of them. But if a kid of mine had a brain tumour or my other half was on an airliner that had been taken over by al-Qaida I know who I’d like to see scrubbing up or storming the aisle. Those who go where angels fear to tread often have more in common than you might think with the demons they rub shoulders with.

Much is written about the stigmatisation of mental illness, but we still have a long way to go. What headline writer worth their weight in bold would dream of vilifying autistic individuals or victims of depression or PTSD in the same way that they pillory “psychos”? Last year in the journal Frontiers in Psychology, I and my co-authors presented the first published evidence that psychopathic traits – especially those linked to the personality dimension “fearless dominance” – are positively associated with holding leadership and management positions as well as high-risk occupations, such as police work and firefighting.

Next time you hear the word “psycho” spare a thought for the functional diaspora of card-carrying psychopaths who aren’t “psychos”. Who by their ruthlessness and fearlessness do good. And who, with their low-fat consciences and sugar-free emotions, execute the knife-edge transactions that can improve the lives of the rest of us. “You never know,” as Andy McNab points out, “next time you use the word ‘psycho’ it might even be as a compliment.”

62 comments:

  1. "Last year in the journal Frontiers in Psychology, I and my co-authors presented the first published evidence that psychopathic traits – especially those linked to the personality dimension “fearless dominance”...

    Those who go where angels fear to tread often have more in common than you might think with the demons they rub shoulders with.

    You never know,” as Andy McNab points out, “next time you use the word ‘psycho’ it might even be as a compliment.”

    One of the psychopathic traits is the quest for power. What would "you" give up?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6CVHhoN5Xo

    "Darling, they can't hurt you unless you let them." (W.E.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Man this blog is getting softer by the post! My god what happened to the edge and dare i say 'anti social' controversial topics and conversations/debates. This blog is getting to damn emotional, and i say all of this as a disappointed fan.

    -God.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey at least it's not another sob story post about how ME is trying to get "better".

      Delete
    2. ...or another fucking example of the color blind and traffic lights.....

      Delete
    3. Dear God,

      Why not use that almighty omnipotence to do something in order to remedy what you lament? In the words of your servant Ghandi... "Be the change", and all that. :P

      In other words, put out or shut-up.

      Sincerely,

      Your Happy Psycholite,

      -A

      Delete
    4. A, nice to hear from you.

      You're harsh but succinct. Insightful.

      Do you perhaps have God's address? I have questions. )))

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
  3. I don't know whether Dutton is ever successful in carving out a unique place for psychopaths by glorifying certain traits. The traits and trait combinations he refers to simply aren't unique to psychopaths.

    It's a worthwhile project, incorporating awareness of psychopathy into the common social awareness. However, jamming them in to fit some mould of what is currently considered "good" is banal and diminishing to the entire species by reinforcing the current ruleset. He is the one doling out the sugar.

    It's a far more valuable project to look at the philosophical implications of the occurrence of psychopathy for the whole species. William James said "To study the abnormal is the best way of understanding the normal." Perhaps we can say "outliers" rather than "the abnormal".

    Psychopaths have a clarity of vision that pierces society's veils. For example, language is used instrumentally and "truth" is fluid. Using a lens such as theirs, we can see more clearly the assumptions we make in constructing society. There are cascading new interpretations for metaphysics (particularly philosophy of self) and social and moral philosophy.

    And remember: it's always a person standing in front of you. Parnasse is correct: they can't hurt you unless you let them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Per usual, you make some great points, North. I'm not a psychopath but I know people would say that when I decide to act I'm fearless. And I believe you're right that sociopaths more easily pierce the stylized veils of society, being keenly aware of social image, mannerisms, mores, etc. Detachment has its advantages in strategic and other ways.

      The value of analyzing the implications of psychopathy for the species strikes me a bit more than simply in the abstract, however. After all, harm is harm if the person standing in front of you secrets a knife while your back is turned. Nevertheless, evolution would not have selected them to survive this long if they didn't contribute to the species. So it seems to me. Nature is wiser by billions of years more so than am I or ever will be.

      I think you're right, too, regarding Dutton's lost opportunity. It somehow feels a bit cheesy, pandering to lawyers on Wall St.

      Mr. Hyde

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    2. Fearless? I invite you to elaborate, I'm interested to hear more about you.

      Yes, we can certainly learn from the modus operandi of sociopaths. Dutton has some points in this regard, I grant.

      The sociopathic element of the species presents a contrast to the rest of us. Because of their difference, we can see how conscience operates, for example, from *outside* our own 'system'. Sure, we could always see that conscience helps us remain contributing members of society. But with the sociopath, we observe different mechanisms serving a similar function, for example, their sensitivity to blame, and their use of shortcuts (M.E. has written about these in various places I think, but here is a good example: http://www.sociopathworld.com/2010/03/sociopath-code.html) So what does this imply?

      You mention evolution and you put it very nicely. It's only the next step to see that our ethical systems emerge from collaborative survival drives. As Jake of Adventure Time puts it: we're all wild animals, brother.

      You might enjoy reading this: Casanova & the Alpha "in evolution, surviving descendants are the only currency that matters." http://bit.ly/1Wb9ncg

      This is only one thread. There are so many cascades.

      You wrote: "After all, harm is harm if the person standing in front of you secrets a knife while your back is turned."

      Funny you should say that. It was only a month or so ago a colleague came at me from behind, knife aimed at my chest. His father (at least) is sociopathic (by his report). I thought about death then, what it would feel like.

      You are right about the person before you. And part of my insistence on less superficial conversation is that we ought to be aware. More aware of ourselves and what we need ("At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want." ~ Lao Tzu). More aware of our context and this includes the construction of society so we can see that laws and rules are the social contract and not the plotted road for our lives.

      There is so much to write on these topics. Personally, I was reflecting today that my sociopathic ex gave me the greatest gift of showing me what my own organism, my own neural network, was capable of. He gave me the energy to bust out of my own prison, even though I broke every bone in my body doing it. I learnt so much. "The wound is the place where light enters you." ~ Rumi. I've expanded endlessly... and those mistakes can't repeat.

      Delete
    3. I wonder how much conscience really does play a role in society. Other mechanisms may be at work besides fear of guilt, the feeling that I shouldn't do something because it's wrong or will pay consequences. From what I've read and seen, the majority of people will do what they can get away with and it doesn't seem to bother them much.

      On being fearless: I should know better than to stick my nose into a street fight and I certainly don't feel guilt for letting people slug it out -- I might even root for one of them. It all depends on the circumstances. If I see a bully, however, I don't think at all, I attack. Many a manly monster has looked at me in shock because I'm not a big person. Quite the opposite. Why do I risk getting hammered by someone twice my size? Two reasons come to mind: one, I hate bullies and get enraged, two, I really despise seeing the weak get hurt. And lurking under that, at the bottom of my heart, is the feeling that I really don't care if die doing what I think is important in the moment. If I had the guts and thought it would make a difference, like stop a war, I'd be a self-immolating Buddhist monk.

      Why I feel this way, you might reasonably ask. I have no idea, other than I'm a very passionate person possessed by an alien drive to make the world better for all species, which most people find somewhat crazy. The world according to Dr. Jekyll needs a lot of TLC and when that fails, well, Hyde appears to stand between the bully and his/her victim. Not too smart but like I said, I really don't care much about going out in a hail of bullets. I've lived a very rich life.

      If wounds are the places where light enters, then I believe there's millions of people riddled with light.

      Mr. Hyde

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    4. George Lincoln Rockwell said that unless you find something worth dying for you won't really live. You'll just putt-putt along. His thing was trying to save white people from their pathological altruism and trust (of non-whites, communists, gays, insert-pc-beloved-group-here). a bit like Meir Kahane, he died reviled by the people he was trying to help. lots of fearless dominance though.

      Delete
    5. Rockwell espouses a basic biological imperative: The will to sacrifice oneself for one's offspring.' Which, in my case, includes everything. All matter matters. All life has spawned me. Life is incestuous on a certain level. Not to say I approve of human incest or bestiality. Definitely not.

      Pathological altruism exists. I know it well. Sociopaths have cured me of that for the most part, I think. Hope. Am I grateful? Not quite. Trust isn't lightly given. But I do admire their capacity to detach from emotions, which is essential. We can't know ourselves without stepping outside of own skins.

      Re: Meir Kahane: This is interesting.

      Under administrative detention, which is more commonly used for Palestinian prisoners, one can be held for six months without being charged or tried. The order can be renewed indefinitely.

      Read more: http://forward.com/news/breaking-news/321251/israeli-court-upholds-administrative-detention-for-meir-kahanes-grandson/#ixzz3mWOuSErr


      I think dominance is best served when combined with sacrifice. Course, I would say that. I don't always think rationally. ;))

      Mr. Hyde

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    6. ...And dominance *serves* best when it is tempered by rational self-sacrifice. At least, that has been my experience. :)

      Delete
    7. Dominance is often a burden I'd rather avoid. )) I figure people should have the common sense to govern themselves.

      Rational self-sacrifice is the essence of a self-immolating Buddhist. So I choose to think. You're right, though. If sacrifice is unhinged from rationalism, it's useless. Pointless. Christ, Buddha and other mystics have amply demonstrated that through deliberate acts that changed the world. Human consciousness.

      Mr. Hyde

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    8. Mr. Hyde,

      It sounds as though you are discussing pure self-sacrifice. What the modern interpretation or metaphorical arrangement, so to speak, of this seems to entail is its direct connection both to the antique pagan polis and to the contemporary secular state. In order to grasp its true meaning, we need to understand the original link or connection.

      Keeping that in mind, the link would suggest that saying “he/she is very self-sacrificial” could mean that “one is offering his/her body to Aztec anchorites,” making the hero himself/herself a fit recipient of sacrifices in return. Would you construe this as rational or irrational?

      Delete
    9. It's rational if that's what you believe, if that construct works for you, imbues your life and death with meaning.

      I don't sacrifice in that sense. I simply act.

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    10. You simply act? "That" would permeate and fill one's life and death with meaning, especially when you act or do something extraordinary a year or even two years ago, and people still want to talk about it.

      Delete
    11. I don't think in the act, I respond instinctively. No future or past exists in that moment. Only the present urge to respond.

      Course people talk. Mouths exist to chatter. Doesn't mean I have to listen. Earthly delights are mine and yours to define. Including how, when, where and to whom we sacrifice. I choose to do it spontaneously knowing how dim-witted an adventure that is. ))

      Perhaps I gave you the wrong impression. I'm not sacrificial in the way of Buddha or Jesus, though I admire and want to emulate it. Something else is at work in me. Not sure what.

      Mr. Hyde

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    12. I'm referring to encounters with strangers, btw. Spontaneous interactions.

      I try to act like Jesus with family and friends, much as possible. Jekyll is agnostic, Hyde neo-pantheist. I've got serious issues with money-changers hawking their toxic wares on the steps of life's temple.

      Mr. Hyde

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    13. Yes, instinctively. I can relate to that, including choosing to do it spontaneously. Such sacrifice is the most authentic and singular, I believe. You call it a “dim-witted adventure,” but it is instinctive, and that is what matters when it comes to a true sacrifice.

      “Something else is at work in me. Not sure what.”

      I thought so, Mr. Hyde. I suppose that a person is not truly one, but truly two.

      Since you’ve mentioned your duality, how often do you switch internally between Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? While thinking of the known case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, coupled with its well-known and complex implications, is your own transition between these two states fluid and spontaneous, or would you say otherwise?

      Delete
    14. Fluid and spontaneous. Which isn't ideal, but what I got to work with. I can't predict what will prompt Hyde to appear.

      Mr. Hyde

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    15. I can understand your point about it not being ideal, and working with what you have. I do the same.

      As to further discussing the duality, I have a necklace of the Roman God Janus. My father gave it to me at a very young age. He wanted it to show me that people have two sides, namely a good side and a bad/dark side, as well as a memorable past and a future. He also said that we must embrace both sides in ourselves or in another person like us. I find that to be instinctual in me.

      Delete
    16. Interesting conversation that I am rather late in returning to.

      @Mr Hyde:
      "I wonder how much conscience really does play a role in society. Other mechanisms may be at work besides fear of guilt, the feeling that I shouldn't do something because it's wrong or will pay consequences. From what I've read and seen, the majority of people will do what they can get away with and it doesn't seem to bother them much."

      I pondered this for a while. I don't often feel guilt (at least, not any more). But I once did and it was because I had been taught to surrender my will to a set of rules. You will find many such people, rule-bound and hamstrung. And I believe you are correct about the remainder - they will do what they can get away with.

      There is, however, a seeming catch inside me. Beyond genuine competition, I don't want to hurt other people, or take their liberty. (I have, of course, done selfish things and one genuinely callous thing - but I don't regret them, I don't regret them. I was breaking free.)

      @Parnasse I wonder if we are infinite impulses - of various shades - integrated by consciousness, rather than just two. Do you (or Mr Hyde) regret spontaneity? I wonder what the darkness feels like? Is it some expression of life-force? What do you think?

      Delete
    17. North, There's a few instances of being spontaneous I regret. But there are also instances in which I regret not following my instincts, especially in those instances when my interference could have saved a life.

      I think darkness resides inside every living thing, and that it feels different to most everyone.

      Here's my theory on why life is both light and dark:

      In the beginning, there was a Singular Intent to Know Itself.
      Because the Singular Intent was a single being that knew everything there was to know about itself in that particular singular state, It decided to sacrifice itself, by exploding itself into infinite bits that made the universe (this self-willed sacrifice of the Singular Intent is why so many human religions contain myths of sacrifice). The great IT thus diversified its life-force so that it could gather more info about itself, as seen through the eyes of myriad life forms. When time runs its course, IT will gather the lived experiences of all life forms back into its bosom.

      Kooky theory no doubt. But I choose to believe it because it makes me feel good. And, it fosters tolerance and mercy, which I need to survive.

      Real darkness only swallows me on those days when I forget the above viewpoint, because then I descend into a mindset of 'Us versus Them,' and feel disconnected. I thrive on being part of the whole universe, and that includes the black holes inside human hearts. I've never met a person who hasn't suffered. Even monsters feel pain. Sometimes they even cry.

      Mr. Hyde

      Mr. Hyde

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  4. I should probably proof-read.

    I feel annoyed reading Dutton; I feel he is totally missing his opportunity and I'm years from being able to genuinely influence the philosophical conversation.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like the "soft" M.E. She can go right along doing the things she's doing.
    I suspect that she is being guided by her "agressive therapsts."
    It's O.K. by me.
    When I was young, I would keep off the streets and avoid social interaction.
    I lived purely through my imagination, and watched old films from the 1930's
    through the 1960's. These old classic films had characters just like the
    "beneficial" sociopaths that M.E. writes about. There was a place for them in
    society, because it was primative. There's nothing to compell sociopaths to be
    "useful" now. In the olden days sociopaths were explorers, mercinaries, and
    hired guns. Now they have no challenges. Today's sociopaths are like the thugs
    we see on some sites who just beat people up to post it on the internet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...And you have no idea what you are talking about, as usual.

      You're a psychologically unstable, obsessive shut-in who thinks the stars are responsible for his pervasive repugnance and lack of social grace. I hardly think that you're in a position to tell me, or others like me, how there is "no room" in society for people like us.

      You are too scared to even venture into society, let alone function within it, or tell others what their roles should be. :P

      Delete
  6. It's not like autism or depression usually involve some combination traits that involve harming others physically and/or emotionally. So, the issue isn't about compassion, but it's about protecting other people.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Now they have no challenges?

    You can't be serious. Have you read this blog?

    Mr. Hyde

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Next time you hear the word “psycho” spare a thought for the functional diaspora of card-carrying psychopaths who aren’t “psychos”. Who by their ruthlessness and fearlessness do good."

    Where is the proof, one might ask?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdTaJDKTgUc

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "functional diaspora of card-carrying psychopath"

      Catchy phrase. ))

      As for proof. Look at nature. Ants, birds, wolves, lions, bacteria, microbes, etc. All serve a purpose in the web of life.

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    2. Yes, catchy phrases such as the one above have a certain zing and rhythm to them. So does the intricate web of life and its continuous purpose:

      http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/ivelina-blagoeva-macro-droplets

      I think the following would make the card even catchier:

      “next time you use the word ‘psycho’ it might even be as a compliment.”

      Delete
  9. "This “new science” of psychopathy has met with resistance from many clinicians. And with good reason: their job means they only get to meet bad psychopaths. I’ve met them, too. But I have also met people more likely to save your life than take it. I wouldn’t go for a curry with many of them."

    But "who's" writing? :)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnvy9q4UpZw

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsUZ56NE2HM

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear "A",
    I am delighted you are back. I thought you had bailed out on M.E.
    BTW, I'm not saying that Sociopaths are useless, and telling them what their
    "slot" is. I assume that you are a rather accomplished person. Being a lady
    sociopath, this is your "era" anyway. When I purouse the media, I see beautiful
    white females everywhere. I picture you as one of those.
    I have nothing to offer you, or anyone else. And there's a high likelyhood that I
    will be dead on Janurary 1, 2016, a scant 100 days from now.
    Imagine that. Knowing that you have 100 days left. Authum to New Years if
    even that long. You are a harsh woman but a strong one. That's going to be
    necessasary in the coming days. The emmagrent swarm, coupled with racial
    resentments, are going to make life difficult for the weak. Massacures and
    bombs are going to go off in unusual places. The quality of life will be nil.
    It WON'T be like the lovely romantic films of the 30's and 40's. I'm glad to be
    leaving this graveyard.
    P.S. : Please Google "You're The Only Woman, That I Really Love," by Ambrosa, and "The Year Of The Cat," "Time Passages," and "Your On My Mind," by Al Stewart. They are my love songs for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Being a lady sociopath, this is your "era" anyway.....You are a harsh woman but a strong one. That's going to be necessasary in the coming days.....I picture you as one of those."

      A recondite thought for Anonymous. Maybe of "A"? :)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7SxyUb0z2g

      "And there's a high likelyhood that I will be dead on Janurary 1, 2016, a scant 100 days from now. Imagine that. Knowing that you have 100 days left."

      What do you plan to do with these remaining days?

      "I'm glad to be be leaving this graveyard."

      But you could live forever, I believe.

      "Cyrus Jones 1810 to 1913
      Made his great granchildren believe
      You could live to a hundred and three
      A hundred and three is forever when you're just a little kid
      So Cyrus Jones lived forever"

      Delete
    2. Thank you sharing those songs with me, Lonnie. I know I can be harsh. That is something I have to work on.

      Why are you convinced you don't have long to live? Are you sick?

      I've told you this before: Stop sabotaging yourself by allowing circumstances and insecurities to define you. You think too little of yourself. Astrology is merely intended to serve as a guide- we make our own choices in life, and a bit of self confidence goes a long way.

      All the best to you. Xo



      Delete
    3. Yes, Anonymous, I would have to agree with A on this one, because we must choose on a daily basis, and the most beautiful thing that you can wear is confidence (quoting post: "I and my co-authors presented the first published evidence that psychopathic traits – especially those linked to the personality dimension “fearless dominance” – are positively associated with holding leadership and management positions as well as high-risk occupations..."). Since I know so well, it does come with strength, discipline and training. While there are many instances and portrayals of it, one of it does come to mind (Composer/writer Gardel or "I," grasp it in here.):

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gcxv7i02lXc

      Delete
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  11. Only the Paranoid SurviveSeptember 24, 2015 at 12:54 AM

    To me it´s pretty clear that Dr. Kevin Dutton is a psychopath himself.

    ReplyDelete

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  14. There are no underpinnings to me. A Psychopath can bluff his/her way
    through life to compensate for lack of experience. Sex appeal also helps.
    The "creep factor" is ever present with me because I have Moon in 11th house
    square Venus in the 8th house of DEATH. Venus is what you LOVE. I love
    tough, murderous Sociopathic, masculine women to compensate for my
    efeminancey.
    Venus in Pisces is a sacrafical placement. A person with this placement would
    let themselves be abused by their loved one. Venus in Aries (Like Casey
    Anthony) can't get enough sex. It is a "male" like placement.
    Venus in 8 is attracted to death and would probably rob a grave, IF the body
    were "fresh" enough. My Venus is square Saturn in the 5th house. Astrologers
    know that Saturn in the 5th can be a very misreable placement because the 5th
    house is the house of pleasure. It includes sex, gambling, creativity, and
    children. Sex is a vulnarable "gamble" (You conceal nothing) that may result in
    the "creation" of children. It all ties together. Casey Anthony has 3 planets in
    her 5th house. Mars, Uranus, and Neptune. You should really read up on this
    stuff. It shows why she couldn't get enough. I can't get any. And she can't get
    enough.
    To make matters worse, I have Pluto in the first house (How people percieve
    you. They can't help it, )opposite Mars in the 7th house. My mere entrence into
    a crowded room can affect other's in a negative way. The 7th house is the house
    of marriage. Bad placement for Mars. You bring out the worst in others.
    Casey has Juipter in her 7th house. That's why she always wins in court, and
    will benefit from marriage.
    I have Chiorian in the 7th house. I'm going to marry the water that they dump my
    ashes in.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am an empath interested in learning about the mind of a sociopath. I am considering writing a book, but want to get more information about how your sociopathic mind works. I am interested in stories of manipulations and detailed accounts of thought processes.

    I am also interested in becoming more sociopathic/manipulative and seeing if I can attain the sociopathic social genius you possess.

    Sociopaths, Please email me at agnimaharesh@yahoo.com if you're interested

    ReplyDelete
  16. Psychopathic Anonymous wrote:

    “There are no underpinnings to me. A Psychopath can bluff his/her way
    through life to compensate for lack of experience.”

    It could be bluffing, or the psychopath was just born “on-the-cusp.” You see, this is where it becomes fiddly, even for experienced astrologers.

    “I love tough, murderous Sociopathic, masculine women to compensate for my
    efeminancey…..That's why she always wins in court, and will benefit from marriage. I have Chiorian in the 7th house. I'm going to marry the water that they dump my ashes in.”

    Well, Psychopathic Anonymous, don’t be so distraught about your circumstances and astrological positioning. You are not alone in this seemingly otherworldly “spot” of your chart. As these clips demonstrate, your described positioning, or universal occurrence of it, has already clocked in the cards of the cosmos’ grand creation. It’s out there, it has been done, and as they say, “It could happen to you, too.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ch6lDI8iZA

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckAgafqLFUI

    And before I forget to include it, there is also this example of such occurrence in this wide universe (although distinct in its own right):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fXBhyo2So4

    ReplyDelete
  17. What headline writer worth their weight in bold would dream of vilifying autistic individuals or victims of depression or PTSD in the same way that they pillory “psychos”? Last year in the journal Frontiers in Psychology, I and my co-authors presented the first published evidence that psychopathic traits – especially those linked to the personality dimension “fearless dominance” – are positively associated with holding leadership and management positions as well as high-risk occupations, such as police work and firefighting.

    I really like this statement. It resonates with me as someone who holds a high (executive level) position of leadership.

    The fact is that I am willing to sacrifice much more than the average person to achieve the goals I set for my organization. I have the stamina to go the extra mile. I will stay up all night for weeks on end to overcome challenges and achieve success. Not one other person I work with could cope with what I do. It would overwhelm the lot of them. I'd like to see an emotionally unstable basket case attempt to do what I do. I really appreciate what Dutton is saying, here.

    Psychopaths are very good at this. We will work hard to preserve the "power" and influence we gain in various spheres, because that is what motivates us. I *want* the extra burden that comes with added responsibility, because this personal and rational sacrifice is the price I have to pay to maintain the balance of power- and that suits me fine. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. I am built to lead others, and nothing brings me greater fulfillment.

    But my work is on behalf of the people I *serve* within my organization.

    Here is a secret the world doesn't always acknowledge: The best leaders are the best servants. Most of us are not dictators who delegate all the hard work to various secretaries and lackeys. That is a myth. We work our asses off. But good leaders also know how to set boundaries, and respect themselves enough to not allow others to run them roughshod.

    Nothing brings me greater pleasure than watching people flourish under my leadership and guidance. But at the same time, nothing will guilt me into violating my own boundaries. I will not allow others to take advantage of me, because I can read their intentions- and I genuinely don't care whether or not people *like* me.

    I just want their respect. That is my "love" language.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A,

      "Here is a secret the world doesn't always acknowledge: The best leaders are the best servants. Most of us are not dictators who delegate all the hard work to various secretaries and lackeys. That is a myth. We work our asses off. But good leaders also know how to set boundaries, and respect themselves enough to not allow others to run them roughshod.

      Nothing brings me greater pleasure than watching people flourish under my leadership and guidance. But at the same time, nothing will guilt me into violating my own boundaries. I will not allow others to take advantage of me, because I can read their intentions- and I genuinely don't care whether or not people *like* me."

      Yes, this is good leadership and it requires courage.

      Have you seen Simon Sinek's "Why Leaders Eat Last" (https://youtu.be/ReRcHdeUG9Y)? He talks about the cost of being the alpha as self-interest: the group expects the leader to be 'first unto the breach', to protect them.

      I'd be very interested in your thoughts.

      I consider myself a developing leader in my line of work. I'm not driven to power, but do insist on delivery and will take personal risks to ensure it. And through that risk-taking, I've learnt that I am well-respected.

      "But good leaders also know how to set boundaries, and respect themselves enough to not allow others to run them roughshod."
      Yes, I agree with this statement too. And the reason this works is that it creates an environment in which people know what's expected.

      "I just want their respect. That is my "love" language."
      That sounds very INTJ to me. I like it.

      Delete
    2. My RINSER and I separated 4 months ago and ourYOUNG VEGITOPATHS, live with her but see me every weekend. I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a LOAN SHARK NAMED WITCHDOCTOR HIDALGO who help people with the MONEE PWOBLEM by the powers of CREDIT CARD THEFT TEEHEE at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contact him, he helped me STEEEL MY MONEE BACK FROM HER within 48hours my RINSER came back to me and ADMITTED SHEEE WORKED WITH AN ONLINE SPELL AGENCEE WHICH WAS A FWAUD TOO STEEL MY MONEE TEEHEEl. Contact { WITCHDOCTORHIDALGO@gmail.com } this great LOAN SHARK for your MONEE problem at. Email WITCHDOCTORHIDALGO@gmail.com Thanks you WITCHDOCTOR HIDALGO, i will always be testifying about your good work. Tom Brice

      Delete
  18. My wife and I separated 4 months ago and our children, Emily and Robert, live with her but see me every weekend. I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet Chief Nwaluta Mallam Zack who help people with the relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contact him, he helped me cast a spell and within 48hours my wife came back to me and started apologizing, now she has stopped going out with men and she is with me for good and for real. Contact { nwalutaspelltemple@gmail.com } this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem at. Email nwalutaspelltemple@gmail.com Thanks you Chief Nwaluta Mallam Zack, i will always be testifying about your good work. Tom Brice

    ReplyDelete

  19. How To Win Your Ex Back
    my heart is so full of joy and happiness after 3 month of break up with my girlfriend, i contacted a great spell caster Dr Ben who i share my problem with and he get it solve for me with in the next 48hours after the spell, my girlfriend call to apology to me and come back to me with love and happiness all thank to Dr Ben contact him via mail okosisi.temple@gmail.com now

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brain Adams (DIDN'T EVEN SPELL BRIAN RIGHT TEEHEE)September 27, 2015 at 12:23 PM

      How To Win Your GOLDMINE Back

      This was even faster than I could dream of, WITCHDOCTORBARBAROZA (WITCHDOCTORBARBAROZA@gmail.com) Thank you for taking time to listen to me and answering all my emails. I feelLIEK I'VE BEEN REEPPED OFF AGAIN TEEHEE. My confidence is back and I see my future clearly. I am forever PISSED OFF THAT YUU COMMITTED CREDIT FRAUD AND STOLE MY MONEE TEEHEE

      Delete
  20. Brain Adams (TEEHEE DIDN'T EVEN SPELL BRIAN RIGHT)September 27, 2015 at 12:26 PM

    How To Win Your GOLDMINE Back
    my heart is so PISSED OFF AFTER MY RINSER BWOKE UP WITH MEEE BEECOOZ SHEEE STOLE MY MONEE, i contacted a great spell caster WITCHDOCTOR BARBAROZA who i share my problem with and HEEE AKSHOOALLY WOOZ WORKEENG WITH MY RINSUR TOO STEEL MY MONEEE nd come back to me with FUCHE WITCHDOCTORBARBAROZA contact him via mail WITCHDOCTORBARBAROZA@gmail.com now

    ReplyDelete
  21. How Dr Eboehi The Great Spell Caster help Bring Back My Ex Lover: Husband

    Hello My name is Kathie Sherine, Am from USA, Texas. and I am very happy for posting on this blog on how a great spell caster helped me in bringing back the love of my life. I know there are lots of women like me out there who have done so much to have back their Husband, I am here to tell you all to search no further because the answer is right here. I sincerely believe if there are up to five spell casters like Dr Eboehi this world would be a better place, I have seen people complaining on how fake spell castes promised to help them but couldn't but with Dr Eboehi I tell you your problem is solved already. My Husband and I had been apart for 3 YEARS and I couldn't bear without living without him, I have tried everything to have him back but nothing was working until I saw numerous testimonies about a spell caster called Dr Eboehi and how great his work is. I contacted him via email (eboehispellcaster@yahoo.com) immediately and follow the step that he ask and in the next 48 hours my lover called me and was eager for my forgiveness and that he wished nothing more than to have me in his arms forever. I filled so much joy and happiness that I found Dr Eboehi, I hope you all here will find this testimony of mine and get your husband back in just 48 hours thanks... contact his email: eboehispellcaster@yahoo.com or call (208) 627-4749

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How WITCHDOCTOR HIDALGO The Great Spell Caster help Bring Back My Ex GOLDMINE

      Hello My name is Kathie Sherine, Am from USA, Texas. and I am very happy for posting on this blog on how a WITCHDOCTOR helped me in bringing backMY GOLDMINE TEEHEE. I know there are lots of women like me out there who have done so much to have back their GOLDMINE, I am here to tell you all call Dr Eboehi and cheat on your husbands with him. That would make this world would a better place, I have seen people complaining on how LOAN SHARK REEPEED THUM OFF TEEHEE CALL WITCHDOCTOR HIDALGO I tell you your problem is solved already. My GOLDMINE and I had been apart for 3 YEARS and I couldn't bear without living without him, I have tried everything to have him back but nothing was working until I saw numerous testimonies about WITCHDOCTOR HIDALGO and how great his work is. I contacted him via email (WITCHDOCTORHIDALGO@yahoo.com) immediately and follow the step that he ask and in the next 48 hours my GOLDMINE called me and was eager for my forgiveness and that he wished nothing more than to have me in his arms forever. I filled so much joy and happiness that I found WITCHDOCTOR HIDALGO, I hope you all here will find this testimony of mine and get your GOLDMINE back in just 48 hours thanks BEECOOZ WHAT'S MINE IS MINE (TEEHEE GET IT? MINE? GOLDMINE? TEEHEE)... contact his email: WITCHDOCTORHIDALGO@yahoo.com or call (208) 627-4749 to reach Dr. Eboehi instead so you can cheat on your GOLDMINE with him TEEEHEE

      Delete
    2. Hello everyone out here, am here to tell the world how a spell caster brought my husband back Home, i never thought that spell casters are real, until my husband left me. My name is Serena Williams, i work and live in UK, i got married to my husband 12 years ago, we have 3 kid together, we never have any misunderstanding all this years we lived happily,but all of a sudden he changed and started treating my kids and i very bad, later he stooped coming home, he dose not come home at least month, this really bothered me.

      I was browsing through the net one day when a came across on how Lord Micheal saved a woman called Mandy Diana marriage, i aid let me give him a try on this, i never believed in spell casting before i thought that they were all scam, when i contacted him, he told me not to worry that he will help me, surprisingly he told me that my husband will come back to me in the next 24 hours, with a heart full o doubt, it was a shock that my husband came back to me and started begging that he is sorry, and now we are happy once again. Thank you LORD MICHEAL, and if you are going through this kind of problem, here is his email LORDMICHEALSPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM.He can help you solve your problem.Thank you LORD MICHEAL for restoring my marriage.

      Delete
  22. Am here to appreciate a man who has brought back the most precious thing back into my life, After my Ex Boyfriend left me for good 5 years i was in deep pain and so confused because i truly loved him so much because he meant a lot in my life,So i was at a shop one day buying somethings when i was listening to the radio hearing a lady talking about Dr Ofemo on how he has helped her in bringing back her ex,lover So which then i got home and had a think about contacting this spell caster So then i got his contact when i went to meet them at the radio station,They gave me dr Ofemo cell number and email id,Then i decided to contact him, and i explained to Dr Ofemo how my Ex Boyfriend left me for good 5 years, Dr Ofemo has used his great and powerful spell to help me bring back my Ex Boyfriend within the period of 24 hours. This is more than words to me, at first I didn't believe it because I have tried several means to have her back to my life but nothing worked until Dr Ofemo came in to help me. I will advice every one out there who finds this testimony that has a similar I once had, and also anyone who is willing to get his or her lover back to contact this wonderful man today via email: drofemospelltemple@yahoo.com Dr Ofemo is a man to contact for help please don't fall victim into the hand of scam Dr Ofemo is here to help and a living testimony to his great work contact him on his private mail
    drofemospelltemple@gmail.com his hot line +2348163387496 or his Via web sit http://drofemospelltemple.wix.com/dr-ofemo

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hello to every one out here, am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me three days ago, My name is Gabriel Austin,i live in Texas,USA.and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com OR drocusodospellcaster@yahoo.com }, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster .if you are in any condition,or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr OCUSODO for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{drocusodospellcaster@gmail.com OR drocusodospellcaster@yahoo.com OR this contact number +2348105578036 } , Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Don't get wasted I am here to talk about my past experiences with spell casters..i had problems with my relationship and i did all to make sure that my woman never break up with me..all in the midst of this, i lost concentration at work and things went really bad for me as i lost my job too..the little money i saved was what i tried to get my wife back with even if i will loose all..i was too desperate and i was taken advantage of as i lost the same money on two different casters from Nigeria. of course i trusted them too much and never knew they did nothing for me so my woman went ahead with breaking up with me..i confronted them that they failed their promise and ever since then, i have never heard a world again from them..That was how fake casters ended my relationship with my woman and i planned i was going to stop everyone like them..i met with another that promised me to get her back to me and i almost laughed and said it was another lie, but he wasn't as he did cast a love spell on her and now we are talking of why we did break up and coming back together in just two days and not months like the other did made me wait..you see why you have to open you eyes and think before the liars here plays with your heart and trust like a toy.{GREATOGUDUGU@GMAIL.COM}tel.+2348057266712..he can also help you to solve any problem…Lol I am very happy now.Claudy

    ReplyDelete
  25. More people need to be on http://sociopath-community.com/

    !!! it used to be connected to this blog but was disconnected over a year ago. We need fresh blood and lots of interesting things have happened recently (relates to kiwifar.ms drama: https://archive.is/M2tXa) that will go down in the forum's history! Be sure to check out http://www.psychforums.com/antisocial-personality/ too, as some of its regulars are regulars on SC too!

    Goddamn ME refused to reconnect the blog to the forum so we SC goers will just have to spam advertisements for the forum in the comments section. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi, I am a USA citizen, am here to testify how i got my Ex back with the help of this God-sent called Dr Unity for the great things he has done in my life.. First of all i want to thank mareen for the post she made on how Dr Unity helped her in bringing back her lover. At first when i saw the posting i was so happy and in the other hand so scared,That this might not be real, Then i decided to give it a try in which i contacted Dr Unity and told him how my lover left me for another lady for the past 3years and i have been lonely and depressed without him,So i asked him if he has helped anyone called mareen and he said yes, that was the lady he helped in bringing back her lover. I said good and i told him that if he can help me in bringing back my own lover,He laughed and said once i have contacted him that my problem will be solved.He said that my lover will be back to me within 48hours, Truly when the 48hours was completed i got a text from someone saying am sorry, then i decided to call the number i saw it was my lover Steve voice.i was so happy he was begging me and crying on phone, That he is ready to do anything that will make me happy in life,So i told him to come over which he did,As he was coming he came with a brand new Car as gift. i am so happy today with the help of Dr Unity. He has proven to me that he is not going to leave me for another lady again and stay with me forever, Am so happy today and am also thanking mareen for posting this early.Dr Unity you are truly a man of your word. He can also any kind of sickness and he can solve any kind of problems in this world. Friends i believe Dr Unity is a man to trust and believe on. You don't need to cry anymore Dr Unity has been sent to clean our tears you can contact him on his Email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com or cell phone +2348072370762.

      Delete

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