Sunday, January 7, 2018

Sydney in two efficient days

One thing that surprised me in planning my two week trip to Australia is how little detailed information there seemed to be about workable itineraries. I also wanted to post here a little about my trip, so people can see what I'm getting up to on these travels and understand why I want to meet them and a little about what it might be like to meet me this way. So I created a separate page/tab at the top where I will link all of these travel posts for people who are interested in these areas and/or hearing my goings on. If you're not interested, you can probably just skip these posts?

I flew New Zealand Air (very nice flight attendants, and apparently John Travolta can still sell luxury goods there). 

I got into Sydney in the morning. I found out right away that the reservation for two nights at the Megaboom Hotel was for the wrong days, starting the day preceding, and there was no availability for my actual days. The front desk person was not only not helpful, she was antagonistic and tried to thwart every attempt I made with whomever my booking provider (Expedia?) was to resolve my issue. She wouldn't let me extend, wouldn't let me cancel the reservation, and wouldn't refund me anything. Ok. It wasn't until the end of a 40 minute debate that she conceded that she could put me on a waiting list to extend my stay and ask her manager about a partial refund. 

I noticed arguing with the customer to be a common thing in Australia. I guess it's because there's not really a tipping economy? And there is a high minimum wage. The incentive therefore is not to please a customer, but to avoid losing one's job. So when I asked for anything that wasn't apparently completely standard, I often got pushback and even antagonism. Maybe it was my sociopathy shining through and rubbing people the wrong way, but I chatted with some of my new Australian friends about it and they seemed to confirm the trend of lack of customer service.

It was nicely located, though, and I walked around my neighborhood to the lovely Queen Victoria Building, the Town Hall, and then a little bit of Darling Harbor.  

My new sociopathically minded friend (diagnosed ASPD). S came to meet me at my hotel for a day walking from Bondi (Bond - eye) beach to Coogee, a beautiful walk with many great sea cliffs (sea cliffs are my jam, as I had told S when he was planning the day).  As the Uber driver suggested, we kept walking into the cemetery area and even beyond. There are salt water pools filled by the ocean that people swim laps in. Beautiful, truly, and I'm used to beach beauty. 



Bondi is a hotspot, all these jacked up dudes (apparently many of them from steroids, per new friend S) strutting around scantily clad. There are surfers, but not many. Most people seemed to be out for fun, which emphasis on fun is apparently an Australian cultural thing. S and our Uber driver got in a bit of a fight for verbal dominance to explain to me how the Sydney lockout laws have killed certain once vital neighborhoods because Australians want to be able to drink freely and flow freely from establishment to establishment until dawn. Very similar to the Brazilian mentality, and S was a little surprised when I told him that having last calls for alcohol at 2:00 a.m. is very common in the U.S. But apparently random acts of violence are common (as new friend and fellow Australian M told me when I met him in San Francisco, more on that later). M thinks it's because there are no guns but people still need to blow off steam or demonstrate aggression to other people, so bar fights are not unusual.

After Bondi, S showers in the very good public facilities they had there and we head to the hip and gay-ish neighborhood of Newtown to meet some of his friends for drinks.

Day 2. My new friend J was up the evening prior holiday partying Australian style, so I had the morning and early afternoon to kill. I started in the neighborhood known as the Rocks, a 12 minute walk from my hotel. The Rocks is the oldest neighborhood in Sydney, with tons of history about the very first attempts at colonization and has this very great app with audio tour and augmented reality functionality that will show you what the neighborhood used to look like at various time periods using old illustrations or photos -- Walking the Rocks. It took me about an hour or two to go through the neighborhood/tour audio.

Larrikin Culture
While in the Rocks, I learned about Australian larrikin culture.  It's an Australian specific word defined as: "a boisterous, often badly behaved young man. a person with apparent disregard for convention" or as Wikipedia has it "a person who acts with apparent disregard for social or political conventions". *cough sociopath* It was initially used to describe the street gangs that frequented the Rocks (e.g. the Rocks Push) in the 19th century and was derogatory. The street gangs, no joke, dressed in gang specific dandyish outfits with the male larrikins distinguishable by their high heels and pointy boots and the women (donahs) wearing huge colorful hats. The fact of being associated as a Larrikin was often an excuse to bring the full force of the law down upon your head:

The Queen must surely be proud of such herioc men as the Police and Irish soldiers as It takes eight or eleven of the biggest mud crushers in Melbourne to take one poor little half starved larrakin to a watch house. — Ned Kelly in the Jerilderie Letter, 1879.[10]

(Also, is Dawn Fraser, famed Australian swimmer and described as having a "larrikin" streak a sociopath?)

I walked the 10 minutes from the Rocks to the Sydney Harbor Bridge Climb, which was fun and beautiful, but also super expensive? And again, same thing applies re customer service here -- it took forever to get our gear on because we just had one person helping us, there was a ton of stopping on the bridge but no tour information on the buildings or the skyline or anything above just the very most basics, the photos they took were all sort of horrible, like they're not using any good technology or filters or figuring our good angles or anything. I noticed this a lot with Australian tours or activities, just ok being a little mediocre and a passable image of the thing it is supposed to be, like a sad looking amusement park cheeseburger. Because this bridge climb could have been much cooler.

New friend J met me at Bridge Climb because I was running late and she was running early. We walked together back through the Rocks to the Sydney Opera House, didn't take a tour because the guy said they sort of suck (true?), but took a ton of photos from every angle. The best angle is landside, the furthest corner from the bridge on the high point. Make sure that you take a ton here because people keep walking in front of the camera.

The best photo I got, though, was on the Manly Fast Ferry. Very cool trip, because it's basically a tour of the harbor. The fast ferry is just the right speed, and our boat was filled with drunk people wearing santa costumes for a planned pub crawl. Once off at the ferry, walk directly away from the ferry building with everyone else across the narrow isthmus to the actual beach.

Manly is fun, but also there is a lovely walk to Shelly Beach, which has one lovely restaurant, but stops serving food after lunch. There are a few little lookout hikes, spend some time exploring the hill overlooking Shelly Beach.



When we came back into Sydney, we walked through the Botanical Gardens on our way back to my old hotel, swinging by St. Mary's Cathedral, then grabbed my bags and went to my new hotel in Surry Hills, also a hip neighborhood, grabbed a bite to eat, made out, went to sleep. Surry Hills, by the way, is the home of female mob boss Kate Leigh.

So I stumbled upon the history of razor gang wars in Sydney in the 20's. The reason they're called razor gangs is that they banned handguns in Sydney in the beginning of the 20th century, so they'd go around razoring each other up for their share of the cocaine, sly-grog (speakeasy), and prostitution trade. The two main mob bosses were both female for some reason, Kate Leigh, and Tilly Devine, and they were arch rivals. From what I've read, Kate would do some of her own enforcing, killing at least two men and often getting in fist fights with people (sociopath maybe?), although most of the time she hired thugs to do her dirty work. Tilly Devine was also known to be a potentially lethal woman, although for whatever reason I feel like Tilly is more a victim of her terrible circumstances (forced into prostitution as a pre-teen). Maybe it's the fact that Tilly always seemed to have a chip on her shoulder about being more glamorous than most upper class people? Also the main cop going after them was also a woman! Liillian Armfield. This is like a television show begging to be made (not a smallish budget Australian television show, which already has been made, but more like an HBO miniseries). Thank you Australia for providing us the source material for the all female cast biopic about razor wielding mobsters that we deserve.

Next morning I took a bath and watched tv, then took the Airport Train back to the aiport (great and fast, btw, and you can buy single tickets). The rest of the traveling I did was by Uber for convenience and efficiency, although Sydney's public transit is supposed to be great.  

126 comments:

  1. hmmm let's see, I like the part about the violent femmes. I have a soft spot for them.

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  2. Whilst you're over here, maybe give Peaky Blinders a ganders, similar thing, gangs in the 20s with razor blades in their caps head butting other gang doers.
    Sort of, like, blinding them.
    With their, uh, peaks.
    Clever title.

    Weren't Violent Femmes a group? Colour Me Once like?

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    1. haha yes, aaaannnndd also violent females :D:D:D My entire inner world is violence.

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  3. Can't say I've much of a soft spot for Violent Femmes, the singer was too whiny and Robert Smithesque, though the track off The Crow soundtrack was pretty ok, in a depressing slit your wrists and bleed out to the dulcet tones kinda way.
    Violent females? Only soft spot I have for them is the bit of skin between thumb and finger on the back of my hand, grr.
    What type appeals then? I can't say I like all the Harley Quinn type portrayal of violent women on tv, give me Vasquez from Aliens any day though.
    A world of inner violence...what a lovely sentence.

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    1. There was a little girl on Dr. Phil, about 12. She said she found comfort in violence. I found it ....endearing.

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  4. Yeah that's bullshit.
    A dumb kids unrealistic outlook and stupid naïve thought processes.
    Violence is an explosion of adrenaline, not a cozy bed or a blanket or a favourite grand parent that smells of fudge, it's a heart pounding crescendo.
    Endearing because a kid (dumb kid) said it fair enough, but realistically? Bullshit.
    Mind you, if it was on Dr Phil...

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  5. man ur fiesty...are you male or female?

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  6. I am a he, and not particularly feisty really, antagonistic possibly, handsome as hell definitely.
    Yourself? Is this the violent femme softie or another random anonymous pretending not to be A?

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    1. its the violet femme softie. I dont know how anonymous these posts really are, but even using a consistent online name has me concerened. I just kind of prefer to blend in with all of the other anonymous posters because the things I have revealed could be quite dangerous to me. People like to turn that around and say that they would need to worry about someone like me, but I would argue otherwise. It has been nice though just being able to be myself on here.

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    2. oh ima female btw

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    3. I didn't ask, but yes, you do give off a very feminine vibe. Albeit a violently feminine aura.
      That's fair enough, but who you worried about? This lot? Fuck em.

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  7. Razor blades.... my kind of girl....;) Hi Alci!

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  8. Hey Bell! So what are you insinuating? You cut people up with razor blades like 'your kind of girls' or that you self harm and that's worthy of a wink and a 'your kind of girls'?

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  9. ;) I just like razors and knives and pointy things.....glad to see you're back I missed you....

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    1. I'm sure you have yes. Everyone else just ignores you.
      So what does it for you? The simple lethality of a blade? The way a razor/scalpels edge disappears from view into the single most honed blade known to man (or woman yes [rolls eyes])?
      Had much experience with them or just like them in general?
      Me myself, I'm obsessed with them, my "scalpel fetish" as it's been called on here, but I work with them all day, not scalpels unfortunately...that's more of a hobby...but knives. Really fucking sharp fucking knives.
      Ever taken a scalpel to flesh?

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    2. Well are you a surgeon

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  10. I like the pain....scalpel no....butcher knife, hunting knife, yes...

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    1. Bold statement. So you've been stabbed? And you liked it? Or cut and scarred? and you liked it?
      Very bold statement yes.
      You love knives, because of the pain.
      Bell, when you enjoy the pain from these cuts of yours, does shit come out the wound?

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    2. stabbed no don't be ridiculous..cute..

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    3. Swop, are you aware that you actually start to become incoherent and disorganized when you talk about knife play?

      In my experience, a quick, swiping motion straight across the jugular is far more effective at eliciting that warm rush of adrenaline than the tip of a blade digging and twisting into flesh. (Just the tip...)

      Dull pressure leading to pain is delicious, but nothing beats a sharp knife gently scraping against exposed skin.

      (You can stick your blade in the freezer first...)

      Either way, they'd better not fucking move. Otherwise, shit might come out of the wound. ;)




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  11. uhh what is happening here, are people talking about cutting themselves? Ive never been a cutter myself. My violence has always been aimed outwards. Well, at least what I dream of doing anyway. Inside my head is like a Quentin Tarantino movie. I was kind of violent in my teens but I always knew that lifestyle was over once I hit 18 because then you go to prison.

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    1. Cut myself? Where would the fun in that be? No I enjoy being cut by sadistic men prob why I like it here....I enjoy cuttng others also.

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    2. Not necessarily cutting, themselves per se no, but using blades on people, yeah sure.
      I'm not talking strictly violent...as you say, that's a fast track to a cement cell, but just the, I dunno...art? Of cutting.
      Have a look at scarification online, some of it is outstanding.
      Cutting yourself is ok if it's your thing I guess...yes yes, I'm well aware there are the desperate case folks who sit in solitude and cut out of sight because of their horrific lives, but that's their business and I'm not interested, taking a knife to someone or them to you...ooof, that's power, control, ultimate trust.
      I just came yes.
      Violent knife work, I get your Tarantino mindset yes, just to let go and take a blade just for shits and giggles...fuck yeah.

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    3. Swop, i kinda like you now. Initially i thought you were kind of annoying.

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    4. Don't be taken in by my dimples...you wouldn't be the first...I am incredibly annoying

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  12. Yes scarification is intriguing to me and also being branded...

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  13. I've done loads of brands, if you're gonna give it a go, I'd recommend cell popping (heated metal spike, dotted into the skin), hot metal brands are good, but tend to spread a bit, plus with popping you can, draw, your design as you want it.
    And find a Sadistic bastard who enjoys branding you and even you might be able to find something real Bell

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  14. I have watched cell popping before very hot...yes maybe I will. I think I found him so hopefully soon..

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  15. Still waiting on the needle play with him. He has made some intricate toys for me with nails pointing out etc. because he knows my love for sharp objects. That was fun but he hasn't played with me in that way yet but I am hopeful it will be soon. You play with needles at all?

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  16. I have done needles yeah, but it's not really my thing, it's more decorative than pain, um, inflictive?
    Can I make a suggestion? if you're into that stuff and he's struggling to get at you a bit, I made a pair of gloves, with spikes screwed through the palms, and long as he doesn't mind smacking you big momma ass, you'll get your spikes, also fabulous for massages and choking of course.
    And, he'll get to feel like a proper bad ass in fingerless leather gloves (Amazon £3.99/$28.45) with fucking spikes (eBay £1.49/$38.27 for 100) through them.
    Which, fingers crossed, will just make him want to hit you harder.

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  17. oh my thank you. Sounds yummy but choking and face slapping with those yeah no but ass smacking oh yes. I do enjoy needles myself receiving, looks pretty and feels great. Does the trick. Yes, my ass is rather juicy ;)

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  18. Are you sweet talking me Swop? ;)

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  19. Bell darling, there's 702,141 birds on Tumblr leaning forward with their bra supported lumps of flab dangling in the camera lens, and I could take my pick of at least 2 of them.
    I don't need to sweet talk you.
    But, I'm not a monster, you can send me your bra, please, for fucks sakes don't send your oversized knickers...they charge postage by the weight over here

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  20. LMAO you are too cute....

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    1. It's the dimples isn't it?

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    2. I was at the BMW dealership the other day getting my care worked on, and when someone returned one of the loaner cars, someone had left a pair of used gramma panties in the front seat. The employees got gloves and pulled them out.

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    3. A sadist with dimples so yummy.

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    4. Now that wastebook denies me access to any of my fake accounts, I cant't go to goregasm anymore, and honestly see no reason in going on. What's the point of even living anymore? So to help me get through this hard, psychologically traumatizing time I think Im just going to start my own site for black humor, but I dont know how to set one up. I want one where people can comment, and post dark funny memes. Anyone know how to set one up?

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  21. The post I wanna see is a transcript of a conversation between two sociopaths. Don't try to tone it down for everyone, just show the ugly truth of what it looks like.

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    1. like this one? Fuck you.

      What do you think them there sociopaths talk about different to anyone else does?

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    2. I'm not sure what that sentence said, but yea I think it would be a bit different. A lot of people have some sick, twisted, depraved minds that comment on here (I love it by the way), but sociopaths have kind of a different thought process so I jus wanna see it :D

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    3. You'd be equal parts bored and horrified.

      Mostly talk around and around until we need attention.

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    4. Tell us about the horrifying parts. I think a lot of the commenters just really like the author, and don't always wanna hear the really bad stuff, not without it being watered down a bit anyway. I wanna hear the ugly. This is sociopathworld people. This isn't care bears.

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  22. hmm reading all these comments about masochism makes me think i need to find masochist to abuse and subjegate. Have u guys heard of these sexbots that commin out? AI sexbots. You can like rape your sex bot, or you know, do whatever you want to your sexbot.

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    1. But is that really subjugation? It's imagination. I'm not being too disparaging of fantasy, of course. And in this case, yes, that's a much better outlet :D

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    2. yip, i luv finding socially acceptable outlets for destructive behaviors. My favorite post on this site was about that guy that like dissects road kill so he doesnt kill anyone. Ha! That shit made me waf

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    3. Yeah I'm with North there (hey North), you're kinda missing the point of masochism, and unless your sexbot has true sensations and feelings, then you ain't subjugating bugger all.
      May as well jab a toaster with a spoon.
      And you don't just 'get a masochist' (which, like Sadist should be started with a capital as it's taken from a dudes name, a certain Mr Masoch, who got off on and documented his sexual coercion with pain. I digress) not many people are walking around waiting for some guy/girl to smack dat bitch up...
      You earn a masochist my friend.

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    4. North, masochism is a form of release. I get a physical release and a mental release. Trusting someone with your body and putting yourself in helpless situations with this person time and time again is how I can describe it. You connect with them in some way some how and that creates a very cerebral as well as physical bond. Turns me on to know he could kill me but he chooses not to or at least holds back ;) Locking eyes with him as he chokes me until tears stream down my face and I question whether or not he has finally at a point of no return. I am also turned on by fear because in general I don't have much of it. I am aroused by surrendering to a deeply sadistic man. Always have and always will be.

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    5. Can't help myself. It's the dimples....

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    6. I understand.

      Been choked out then? You say choked to tears, but like, outers outers? Give it a go, if you trust him enough of course, I choke mine during sexual liaisons and she just slips away, then bang the holy fuck out of her whilst she's corpse like and watch as her orgasm builds during nap time till her eyes burst open in surprised ecstasy.
      Yeah, bit of a favourite of ours that.
      I just came again.
      But if you're going to, make sure he doesn't choke you round the windpipe or delicate hyoid bone, if he's big enough hands, fingers one side of the neck, thumb the other side and apply slow and steady but forceful pressure, only takes a few seconds.
      Stay safe y'all.

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    7. I have actually been on the brink of being choked out and he stopped. I loved it. Like nothing I have ever felt for sure. Thanks for the tips.

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  23. That Swop guy sure likes to talk alot, as much as a woman.

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    1. He does doesn't he? Knob head. Why doesn't he get people don't want to read or interact on here?! No, they want short sharp to the point complaints about people so that in a week or two they can come back on here and complain about the lack of people talking or interacting and harken back to them good ol' days when SociopathWorld was, well, good.
      I'm no social mediaist, but I think Twitter has limited character numbers, try there maybe treacle?

      Delete
  24. Kate Leigh sounds pretty bad ass. That's kinda hot. I'd do her. What are some other sociopathic websites besides Alcibiades? No one ever posts anything on that site. Everyone is like 12 on sociopath community so I don't really like that one. Whenever I type sociopath or personality disorders in to the search hoping to find disturbed websites to go to, all that comes up are support groups for victims.

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    1. My site is more hit and miss. Mostly miss. M.E. posts more often, more regular. And she has a following.

      Best just to stay here.

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  25. where did swop go....u were kinda entertaining...so swop whats your story? How didya end up on SW?

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  26. and please don't tell me you think you are a sociopath. You're too funny. Like not to be mean to sociopaths, but ya'll usually aint all that funny cept for Lawrence Bittaker. He was funny. I like his twisted sense of humor.

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  27. "Lawrence Bittaker filed 40 separate lawsuits costing thousands of dollars against the State of California including one claiming “cruel and unusual punishment” because he was served a broken cookie."

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    1. I'm not from your land, so I sleep when you party, and stalk around here pretty much alone when you lot get your heads down.
      I'm not a sociopath no, like a lot of us, I have traits, quite a few, and I met a certain someone who'd had a bit of a lifelong obsession with ASPDs, and was pretty sure they were sociopathic, until... and, their words before the Anons and co jump on the wannabe sociopath, not mine...they met me and were a bit, whoa, you're one of them! So she pointed me towards this site, where I was one of them "am I a sociopath?" wankers who don't realise the naïevity of the question, until they get steam rollered on here, baptism of fire befucked! But it did clear the question for me, and allowed me to engage with the finest mind I'm yet to see on here for a while. Which was nice.
      As you can see though, I really do go on (like a woman apparently), and I lose interest and pop back and forth see what's happening, see which Anons are complaining about what people say, or the lack of what people say...gets tedious (like this, yes I'm well aware...thanks for making it this far) and I bugger off again.
      You asked.
      I think they can be amusing, funny even (not you Alci, and you're no sociopath either, actually, you're my point prover...)but they get caught in the web of trying to be a sociopath, trying to be cool and don't give no fucks man, but just come across as arrogant fucks trying and failing to look down on the rest of us.
      What's your story? Is this Paint It Black?

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    2. And anyway, Bundy was hilarious.

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    3. "Is this Paint It Black?" um uh, what was the question? I dunno, I guess it's jus been a lifelong pursuit in better understanding what's different between myself and a sociopath. Hmm I gotta disagree with you on Alcibiades....I think he's a sociopath. Yea it's pretty funny watching people ask if they are a sociopath. I just think a lot of people get it in their heads that only sociopaths can be antisocial. Being antisocial shouldn't be anything to brag about, but I guess if you're in a group that thinks antisocial behavior is cool you get a little braggadocios. I've gotta fucked up psychology, and just don't really know what to do with it sometimes. I don't do anything wrong or bad but being trapped in the normal world with no outlets is pretty awful. That's what I love about the net. I can just go on there and post weird shit, and no one knows who I am and they don't really care either. I can come on here and get the muck and the sludge out of my system, and go back out in to society and just be a normal person. Hmm, I don't remember Ted Bundy being funny, but it seems like in prison he got pretty introspective about himself and his behaviors. He was certainly intelligent and articulate which I appreciated about his interviews.

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    4. You don't get that many pretty girls to your Beetle without some serious charm and humour.
      I have issues with Alciabides, he/she's no sociopath in my eyes, got the charm and allure of a house brick

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    5. "he/she's no sociopath in my eyes, got the charm and allure of a house brick" I think Alcibiades is a man although it would have been exciting if he was a female, but that's just my own bias haha :D There was one thing he said in his book that made me think he is male. I think this is a place where people feel like they can "take their masks off" if you will. I don't think they feel as much social pressure to put on a performance so why would he need to be charming and alluring on this site?

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    6. Just think he's a twat. A spineless twat at that.
      But I concur you don't need anything to come on here, which is probably why he comes here. But I disagree with the no need for performing...no, that's wrong, I mean, there is no need, but I'd say this is a site where people come to perform, to be who they want, away from the daily grind, anonymously, and that's what I think he does, which is why I say about the lack of discernible charm.
      You really do have a thing for the femmes mind don't you? Crossed paths with A on here?
      Not that she's a woman anyway (hairy handed cave dwelling man beast)

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    7. Ps...I'm not starting a personal crusade against Alci, I have my reasons, and I don't like the dude is all.
      But, live and let live

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    8. "You really do have a thing for the femmes mind don't you?" Yea, I just think its interesting. Usually women are the nurturing, caregiver types (inserts emoji with green pukey face) If they're a lil janky, its better.

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    9. Why don't you think he is a sociopath? Maybe sociopathy isn't quite what you thought it was?

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  28. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  29. Why do people wear huge wristwatches these days? Don´t they understand that the proper (mens) size is just 36 mm?

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  30. So here’s a story. I dated a guy for a while around three years ago. I left him. Maybe I didn’t give him a proper explanation.

    He hit me up via email and wanted to catch up to say goodbye properly. I can understand that. Anyway, the day came and he lost his nerve: spammed me with endless name calling: robot, psychopath, psycho, c**t, etc.

    So I know what that’s like now.

    Anyway, I gave him a better explanation. Via email. And said goodbye. I hope he can move on now.

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  31. Hey Swop,

    I'm playing around with a schizoid PD diagnosis. "Schizoid adaptations" as Elinor Greenberg writes it. It's a strange sensation to feel the criteria click into place.

    Then the door opens.

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    1. Why do you think you are schizoid? I didnt really think schizoids had enough interest in peole to really date, and you seem to date a lot.

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    2. North, I've had a quick read through that Greenberg woman's stuff, and, in fairness, I'd say you're a schizoid old friend yes.
      Anon...maybe schizoid isn't quite what you thought it was?
      Do you need professional diagnoses to know what feels right in you? No, because you...know. And despite the best efforts of an anonymous to call you on it, if the doors open, the doors open.
      Did you know sociopaths can't be funny?


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    3. Low on the scale, maybe not even to clinical level but the pattern applies.

      **-* and I retain separate lives and there are inbuilt limits. I can also get along very well with my colleagues... because of the natural limits.

      People with schizoid personality disorder are often aloof, cold, and indifferent, which causes interpersonal difficulty. Most individuals diagnosed with SPD have trouble establishing personal relationships or expressing their feelings meaningfully. They may remain passive in the face of unfavorable situations. Their communication with other people may be indifferent and terse at times. Because of their lack of meaningful communication with other people, those who are diagnosed with SPD are not able to develop accurate impressions of how well they get along with others.[9]

      I was definitely alexithymic but in a different way to psychopaths. My feelings were there, but I thwarted them with comprehensive defences. I was definitely “cold and aloof”, which did my rugby career no good, let me tell you. When things got too bad in my marriage, I did blow it all up. I didn’t have “antibodies” for someone like **-*, somehow he felt safe to me. I realise this is because his self-contained gives me space. I saw no fear of engulfment, and my feelings escaped.

      So, as readers here will know, I’ve been working hard to deal with these feelings I’ve not known before. That’s been an experience, but I’m much better for it. So sorry for bleeding all over this place.

      I think I will always be a mostly-solitary creature with a rich inner world, even now that I have learnt to access my feelings and am learning to negotiate in personal relationships. You know they say the Internet age suits schizoids more than narcs :) No worries, mate. Independence retained.

      Delete
    4. Thank god we have Dr. Swop to confirm over a sociopathic website that you really are a schizoid.

      Delete
    5. Why do you hate "narcs" anyway? What is a narc? I need to talk to one of these fine folk. Is swop a narc?

      Delete
    6. Thank god for anonymous no ones to confirm me as a Dr.
      Does it make you waf?

      Asking if I'm a narc is a fair question, though if anyone dares to have an opinion on it, they're clearly fucktards who shouldn't be casting any personal opinions on anyone, unless they're a Dr of course.

      Delete
    7. Thankyou Swop.

      Entertaining conversation, peeps. I had a little giggle in the change-rooms this morning while reading it.

      As for narcissists: they have a self-esteem regulation problem, minimal / no affective empathy and don't have stable and rounded views of others. They are hyperaware of status hierarchies, they are social climbers. They are grandiose, consider themselves omnipotent and devalue others (the GOD defences). All for their self esteem. (summarised from Greenberg who absolutely nails it.) It's incredible how well she characterises them. Schizoids too. Obviously. ROFL.

      Delete
    8. so swop must be like the manager of the butcher department then.

      Delete
    9. That's the first thing on here I've read that I didn't write that's actually made me laugh out loud.
      Good work.

      Delete
  32. Schizoids say they don't even understand emotions. You sound pretty emotional and sensitive with the things you say. You sound obsessive over that guy you date.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll just paste this in again with some emphasis.

      I was definitely alexithymic but in a different way to psychopaths. My feelings were there, but I thwarted them with comprehensive defences. I was definitely “cold and aloof”, which did my rugby career no good, let me tell you. When things got too bad in my marriage, I did blow it all up. I didn’t have “antibodies” for someone like **-*, somehow he felt safe to me. I realise this is because his self-contained gives me space. I saw no fear of engulfment, and my feelings escaped.

      So, as readers here will know, I’ve been working hard to deal with these feelings I’ve not known before. That’s been an experience, but I’m much better for it. So sorry for bleeding all over this place.

      I think I will always be a mostly-solitary creature with a rich inner world, even now that I have learnt to access my feelings and am learning to negotiate in personal relationships. You know they say the Internet age suits schizoids more than narcs :) No worries, mate. Independence retained.


      So tell us more about you. You're settling in, how about a name?

      Delete
    2. there's nothing to tell...just needed an evil outlet.

      Delete
  33. hmm ok so let's see, reading that description of narcissists. Sooo, I don't get what's so bad. You put someone down for being ambitious? Educated? Making a lot of money? Being successful? I don't get it. Are you insecure? I've noticed really insecure, unambitious people put others down because of their own insecurities.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, thinking you're missing something there anon, you asked what a narc is, North's given you a definition, which she states as classified by Greenberg, not her.
      [watches Anon drowning like a baby possum in a pool]
      Are you insecure then? Fits your own post

      Delete
    2. I think north is horribly insecure.

      Delete
    3. This is the usual sorting process

      Delete
  34. The narcs I've met can be a bit annoying at times. Conversations always redirect back to some extraordinary thing they've done or accomplished. I tend to get completely trashed during the convos just to be able to sit there and not roll my eyes or yawn. Why does North seem insecure to you? Hi North!

    ReplyDelete
  35. oh shit, i think we're starting to see mob mentality here. Isnt this what the author of this blog is always talking about?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You seem to be offended by my previous statement. Are you a narc? Deflecting nice..

      Delete
    2. Whats wrong with being a narc anyway? They're more educated,make more money, have more social status, people like them more. You sound jealous. Swop is the exception. He's not a very successful narcisist. Anyway, this subject is boring. My life is amazing. Lets get back to the crazy stuff on this blog. So I was reading the author of this blog plays minds games with people who comment. What kind of games do you think she plays?

      Delete
    3. I've answered that already pay attention. You have said that at least 3 times already so who are you trying to convince the people commenting or yourself? Obsessed with swop much? IDK maybe if you beg enough she will play one with you and make me "waf"

      Delete
    4. What are you? Like a student or whatever? yawn.

      Delete
    5. A 3 yr old can give me a better argument than you..thanks but now I'm bored. I guess you are a narc after all LOL ;)

      Delete
    6. I mean sure. If that's what gives me such a great lifestyle. Do you have a developmental disorder or something? How can you see those things as bad?

      Delete
    7. Goad me A, I show you what I want, when I want, if I want. Take the hood down and come out to play if you want to get into me.
      Like I said when you started this charade, you're better than this.
      Bellas got you sussed.
      And now you bite.
      You're getting bored and it's showing.
      I'll play with you babes, you know that, but I get that you can't come out from under your new found shell because you'll have to admit what are farce you are trying to play this game.
      I'm really quite disappointed in you.
      You know nothing of who or what I am apart from what I drip feed you.
      Not a sociopath? Sweetheart you have no idea, maybe sociopathy isn't quite what I thought it was? I couldn't care less for adhering to the stereotypes or the checklist tick offs. You think because you found me amusing that makes me like you? You know nothing Jon Snow.
      I'm the coldest cunt you'll ever cross paths with.
      But what's that to you? Nothing. Like your assumptions of me, like mine of Alciabides...anonymous words with no substance.
      An anonymous site for anonymous fools calling each other ridiculous labels.
      narcissist? Of course I fucking am, and if you were like me, you would be too. All sociopaths are narcissists.
      Go back and read through the Internet drivel that you class fact by, go and trawl through Hares checklist again and again and attribute what fits to you and those you see and make your narrow minded judgements.

      She plays the same games we all play on here.
      This one.

      Delete
    8. So anyway, what kinda games do you think she plays?

      Delete
    9. I hope it's hopscotch! I love hopscotch!
      Makes me waf :D

      You're better than this sweetheart.

      Delete
    10. ooh ooh can I go first? pweeeeeeeeeeease!

      Delete
    11. ...and the second time someone's managed to make me waf on here goes to Bella...

      Delete
    12. "Pats self on the back"...;)

      Delete
    13. Hey! Don't drag me into your bullshit. (Not that I've the desire, or hence the attention span, to read through it all, sexual violence notwithstanding.:P)

      Seriously. You thought this anonymous coward was me? Really? Haha! *Points finger*.

      Wow, Swop. I guess I sure did make an impression on you. You see me even where I'm not. :)

      But rest assured that if I want to say something, I'll say it as my hairy, scary self. ;)

      I haven't been around in quite some time. So you were wrong about me. But you were bang on about Albi. Have you read his blog? I got through a paragraph, once. Wanker Wannabe Central. XD

      Delete
    14. [squints suspiciously...]. A? A?! [runs round frantically like a Labrador looking for something to give you]
      It's ok, I appreciate what you were trying to do, it needed it.
      just keep in mind that apart from masturbation and pogo sticking, most games have two players. Apart from every other game of less or more.
      But chess! That's two players.
      I won't deny I've missed you, I've had to take Bella away from that Alci fool to stop her ruining herself...she's coming along nicely...but she'll never have 'it' and will pander to anyone who doesn't make fun of her offspring, and I certainly wasn't gonna engage with an anonymous waffer, and was only stopping in for the one thread really.
      You meeting up with M.E.?
      But...but...but I thought you were adamant Alci was a sociopath?! you know I can't formulate any opinions without your guidance.
      Have you tried Veet? I used it on my man chest for the first time over the festivities, the hair just falls off.
      Good to see you, fleetingly no doubt, but all the best do.

      Ps...Gretel? Cover your trail bit better next time

      Delete
    15. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    16. I don't know what I've done, how to I get rid of this blogger shit?

      Delete
    17. uh lol sign out of blogger before commenting

      Delete
    18. Take me away from Alci? Damn! I have high hopes he will be my future ex husband. Fucking dream killer pff.

      Delete
    19. You're young don't worry, you'll have loads of ex husbands I'm sure, nothing shouts class like five different surnames in a family.
      Alci's already married sorry kid.
      You know what Bell? You've got the thickest skin on a person going, like a rhino fair play to you.

      Delete
  36. its attack of the acolytes!!!noooo!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hey, so while I'm here, this amuses me. I have a desk overlooking the courtyard. I can see everyone coming and going. The sociopath on the floor was sitting out there just now. I was watching my boss yesterday. It's a primal pleasure, being able to see someone when they don't even imagine they are being watched. **-* is very big on lines of sight. He has used them tactically with me a number of times in the past. It's kinda fascinating.

    Do you guys physically position yourselves strategically? Like, in someone's line of sight when you want to be seen, or with them in your line of sight from a hidden position when you wish to observe?

    ReplyDelete
  38. My friend sits in a space where he can observe everyone..never has his back to the entrance or exits either I have noticed...I never hide when I am watching personally..I just observe casually. Don't want to look like a weirdo staring at everybody lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cool, thanks for replying. Lol, I am the opposite of stealth about spying through the window...

      Delete
    2. Do love people watching, voyeurism is wicked. Though your friend sounds decidedly paranoid Bell.
      Anyone else do anything like this one...I have a tendency when talking to someone who's boring me to tears to drop eye contact to their mouths, and, like drift off in my mind to the monotonous tones.
      One went like this years ago...

      Girl I was stuck talking to: yeah ya know, he's a prick and I hate him and he sucks and his feet are shit and and and...
      Me: [drifts from conversation and stares at her mouth]
      Girl: it's just shit and he's just shit and...why are you staring at my mouth?
      Me: [absently] I'm imagining what your screams would sound like
      Girl: [pauses...] that's the sexiest thing I've ever heard.

      Just me? I see.

      Taxi!

      Delete
    3. Yeah he is a bit paranoid. That is pretty hot. That is very ballsy though lol. If I'm bored I just think of ways to get free drinks or just excuse myself to the bathroom or lock eyes with people and sometimes that makes them so uncomfortable they want to leave lol. IDK depends on my mood also.

      Delete
    4. Ways to get free drinks...so you carry your old profile picture round with you?
      Such a narc ;)
      (Narc is still a stupid insult on here right?)

      Delete
    5. You bet your ass I do LOL ;)

      Delete
  39. What happened to the forum that used to be part of this blog?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sociopath-community.com

      Delete
  40. Does anyone know if psychopathy or something similar can be triggered by brain damage? I recently got a concussion that hit the emotional, attention, and judgement areas of my brain, and I was wondering if even though it was fairly minor, the changes in my personality could be signs of psychopathy?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Personality changes do occur with brain damage - refer to the famous Phineas Gage case. An iron rod was driven through his frontal lobe and his personality changed so that people remarked he was “no longer Gage.” He became “fitful, irreverent, capricious and vacillating” but apparently over time stabilised.

      I’ve had lots of concussions from sport. One of them was quite horrible. It was three weeks before I could think without feeling sleepy or make a decision without crying. I felt confused, emotional and couldn’t put my thoughts into words. These symptoms resolved quite quickly, which is typical of concussion.

      Psychopathy entails specific neural differences that result in particular patterns of behaviour. I think it’s unlikely a brain injury could replicate a psychopathic neural configuration.

      You’re best off seeking expert medical opinion on this one.

      Delete

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