Monday, November 14, 2016

Iconoclasts

One of my favorite comedy skits is this SNL version of the old Iconoclasts show with Bjork and Charles Barkley: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/iconoclasts/n12169

Perhaps the thing that people are most often jealous of, regarding a sociopath's life, is the way a sociopath doesn't care about so many things other people in the world care about. Or I should say more accurately, doesn't care about things in the same way that others care about them. Like I guess I care about money and power and things to a certain extent, but not in the same way that I see others caring about them. I don't identify with them, or feel like I need them to be happy, or get really worried about not having them. I have no emotional attachment to them at all. Of course this distance from the status quo rat race life that most people are so deeply embedded in they're not even aware there is an alternative, this distance comes with costs. Costs like not understanding why everyone else in the world is so stressed out or unhappy about certain things. Or maybe not being able to care enough to actually do something in certain situations (although I have such a low threshold for impulsively doing stuff, that I hardly need a reason at all to do something, much less to have an emotionally compelling reason to do it.)

I've been thinking about that a lot this past week or so, my ability to not care and what a relief that is as the world seems to get more and more farcical.

Also this poem:

she was not 
like everyone else,
simply because 
she didn't care
about things. 
instead, her heart
yearned for new places,
people, and experiences 
that would inspire her
to become greater 
in spirit, 
and live as freely,
as her heart loved.

Jose Chavez (?)

291 comments:

  1. Ha-ha!
    Guess what fuckers?

    Y'all all are simply too slow, cuz' I'm...

    ...First!

    :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Socioempath-

      You're funny.:)

      PS-Your "Ren & Stimpy" and "Summer's Eve" links, were hilarious!!!

      HA!!! LOL!!!

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    2. Hey Vegas!

      Hi.:)

      PS—

      Have you watched The Ren & Stimpy Show???

      It's hilarious!!

      :)

      Delete
    3. Hey Socioempath!

      Hi.:)

      :):)

      I have watched "The Ren & Stimpy Show", and yes, it is hilarious!!!

      :):):)

      I just saw a T-Shirt that read:

      Keep Talking
      I'm Diagnosing You

      HA!!! LOL!!!

      I'm STILL LAUGHING!!!

      :):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    4. There's another one that says:

      All I Need Is
      Latte
      -&-
      Lipstick

      :):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    5. Another one says:

      Coffee.

      :):):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    6. And another:

      Nope.
      Not Today

      :):):):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    7. Another:

      (I wish I had this one to wear, to the wedding shower)...

      Sorry
      I'm Late
      I Didn't
      Want To
      Come.

      HA!!! LOL!!!

      :):):):):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    8. Lastly:

      The
      Snuggle
      Is
      Real.

      :):):):):):):):)

      THOSE WERE AWESOME!!!

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    9. Hey Socioempath-

      PS-Where are you, in your HOT BILLY IDOL CAR, to save me???

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    10. Hey Socioempath-

      PPS-When you pick me up, will you be playing Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up"???

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    11. 'Ey, Vegas!

      Hello. :)

      Delete
    12. Hey Vegas!

      That T-Shirts ate definitely funny!! Especially that diagnosis one!!! I laughed!!!! :):)

      Delete
    13. Hey Vegas!

      You should tell them, 'I have my shower, sorry', then just take a normal shower on the day of the wedding and you'll have your wedding shower. Nobody said it didn't have to be a literal shower!! :):):):)

      Delete
    14. Hey Vegas!

      PS -

      I once wore a T-Shirt with this kind of text! Some people couldn't even look at it because it hurt their eyes looking at it!! :)

      I still have it somewhere!!! :):)

      Delete
    15. Hey Vegas!

      PPS -

      Have you watched Movie 43??

      I laughed so much during that movie!!! It's freakin' hilarious!!!! :)

      Delete
    16. Hey Vegas!

      PPPS -

      I just had some delicious coffee.

      :)

      Delete
    17. Hey Vegas!

      PPPPS -

      Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up', now that's funny!! :)

      :):)

      Delete
    18. Hey Vegas!

      PPPPPS -

      I just watched this AWESOME HILARIOUS video!!!

      :)

      Delete
    19. Hey Socioempath!!!

      I HAVE TO KNOW-do you give the Rick Astley song to everyone, and more importantly, does it work???

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    20. Hey Socioempath-

      Hello.:)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    21. Hey Socioempath-

      I'm glad you liked the T-Shirts, and that they made you laugh...

      :):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    22. Hey Vegas!!!!!!!

      I'm glad you're glad I liked the T-Shirts, and I'm glad you're glad they made me laugh...

      :):)

      Delete
    23. Hey Vegas!!!!

      I didn't really try sending it for a reason, only sent it for no apparent reason (for fun), and yes, it got opened always. No specific rules stating it wouldn't work, so I guess the answer is yes, if you know how to send it.

      Oh, that gives me a great idea!

      :)

      Delete
    24. Hey Socioempath-

      The "DVD Commentary" was hilarious!!!

      OMG!!! I LOVE YOUR T-SHIRT!!!

      That T-Shirt is too good, to not know, where it is.:( If you get a chance, I think you should find it, and wear it.:) Will you let me know, if you do???

      Yes, I saw "Movie 43" with my husband, and you're right-it was HYSTERICAL!!! HA!!! LOL!!!

      I think we were having delicious coffee, at the same time!!! What kind of coffee, do you drink??? Just curious.:)

      The "AWESOME HILARIOUS" video, was just that!!! HA!!! LOL!!! I laughed all the way through that one!!!

      Thank you!!!

      :):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    25. Hey Vegas!

      Hi.:)

      Delete
    26. Hey Vegas!

      Usually, just black coffee by itself.

      But now, I got some coffee with chocolate, and put some milk. It was delicious! Just like hot chocolate!

      Delete
    27. Hey Socioempath-

      If I knew you in real life, I'd want to borrow your T-Shirt...

      :):):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    28. Hey Socioempath-

      What made you decide, to add chocolate and milk???

      Just curious.:)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    29. Hey Vegas!

      I already (ab)used it and got quite a lot of laughs - people really do not like looking at that T-Shirt! :)

      Oh, that reminds me. I think there are shops or something where you can bring your own T-Shirt and pay them to print anything you want on it. :)

      PS -

      Yes, I'd let you borrow it. It'd be funny to watch. :):):)

      Delete
    30. Hey Vegas!

      The coffee came like that. I just added milk. :)

      Delete
    31. Hey Socioempath-

      That sounds like a REALLY SPECIAL T-SHIRT!!!

      You should keep it, as a "momento".:)

      Thanks for the t-shirt tip!!!

      :):):):):)

      It sounds like we both had delicious coffee!!!

      :):):):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    32. Hey Socioempath-

      It's cool, that we were both here, at the same time!!!

      I can't stay long, but you know, I always come back!!!

      PS-Do you have a song for me today???

      It's OK, if you don't...

      :):):):):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    33. Hey Vegas!

      Well, I still have the T-Shirt, don't I? You never know who might be hangover, and would really, REALLY appreciate looking at it... :):):):):):):)

      Yeah, I find the coincidence funny. :)

      And that reminds me - next, I'll put some black chocolate in black coffee. That'd be black black coffee, blacker than black coffee! Awesome! :)

      Delete
    34. Hey Socioempath-

      YOU SO CRACK ME UP!!!

      I have a question for you.:)

      From your personal experience, is there a particular type of person or personality type that you prefer, or do you enjoy various people/personality types equally???

      Just curious.:)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    35. OMG!!!

      Socioempath-YOU ARE SO FUNNY!!!

      Are you always this funny???

      I was TOTALLY LAUGHING AT THAT LINK, THE WHOLE TIME!!!

      Thank you.:)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    36. Hey Vegas!

      ...
      It's Q&A time, with your host - Vegas! :):):)
      ...

      Well, I'd have to say that I hadn't really thought about it.

      But personally, when I thought about it (as in, a minute or so), the persons I liked spending the most time with are the persons who are carefree, like to have fun and so on; they are always fun to be around. Fun times and so on. :)

      Delete
    37. Hey Socioempath-

      PS-Are you always that fast???

      PPS-Can you "see peoples' souls", like my husband and M.E. both can, and as quickly as they can???

      Just curious.:)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    38. Hey Vegas!

      I try to be funny - you cannot say funny without saying fun first! :)

      Delete
    39. Hey Vegas!

      Just here to satisfy your curiosity. :)

      I am when I try! Fast, I mean. :)

      A few persons told me I figure out people fast, so I guess that makes it true. :)

      Delete
    40. Hey Socioempath-

      When I started to think my husband is a sociopath, I asked him why he liked me, he said "You're fun and easy"...

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    41. Hey Vegas!

      Oh, that's definitely true!

      If I may take a guess, he must've started to like you after you two had done a whole lot of fun stuff - adventures, pranks and so on, that sort of stuff?

      :)

      Delete
    42. Hey Socioempath-

      I like that you are here, to satisfy me.

      My curiosity, I mean.:)

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    43. Hey Vegas!

      Always happy to satisfy the V...

      The curiosity, of course! :)

      :):)

      Delete
    44. Hey Socioempath-

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    45. Hey Vegas!

      (:

      Delete
    46. Hey Vegas!

      PS -

      ��

      Delete
    47. Hey Socioempath-

      "Always happy to satisfy the V..."

      I like that.:)

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    48. Hey Vegas!

      You like it when I satisfy the V?

      :)

      Delete
    49. Hey Socioempath-

      I didn't expect to "catch you", and need to do a few things.:(

      I wish I could stay...

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    50. Hey Socioempath-

      Yes.

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    51. OMG!!!

      You are SO FUNNY!!!

      I can't stop laughing...

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    52. Hey Socioempath-

      Will you try not to let anyone else, run off with that shirt, please???

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    53. Hey Socioempath-

      PS-Did you like M.E.'s post???

      I thought it was "Practically Perfect".:)

      The only thing it was missing was "For Vegas:", before the poem...

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    54. Hey Vegas!

      Bye! :)

      PS -

      That was fun! I wish you luck with whatever you gotta do and all that. :)

      Delete
    55. Hey Vegas!

      Yes, this was a nice post. First iconoclasts, and the iconoclasts we got was a video link, so, you know, the post name was justified.

      Then, we get the unexpected "socio-perspective", which was the real "unspoken" theme of the blog post.

      Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, a (nice) poem!

      PS -

      Don't worry, I'm keeping the shirt! It's too fun to give it away! :)

      Delete
    56. Hey Socioempath-

      You don't have to save the shirt for me-I know there are MANY PEOPLE, who would love to have that shirt!!!

      M.E.'s post was PERFECT!!!

      THAT WAS FUN!!!

      Thank you, for the "Good Luck" wishes-that was sweet.:)

      I'm sorry I have to go, I wish I could stay...

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    57. Hey Vegas!

      Nah, don't intend to give it away. It's simply priceless when someone's got a hangover, and it's the first thing they see! :):):)

      Well, have "fun", good luck and all that stuff. :)

      Delete
    58. Hey Socioempath-

      What happens when there are 2 or more people with hangovers, in need of "a shirt"???

      Do you break out a "less special" shirt, and let them fight over, who gets which one???

      HA!!! LOL!!!

      Just curious.:)

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    59. Hey Socioempath-

      PS-I wish I was at M.E.'s smoking "Magic Tobacco", but I never got an invite, so...

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    60. Hey Vegas!

      Nah, I don't "borrow" my shirts, because it usually means they will take it with them. And I like not spending money on shirts, because I like spending it on... Something else. :)

      That's a fun idea, though. :)

      PS -

      ...so you're at Vegas's?

      :)

      Delete
    61. Hey Socioempath-

      What do you like to spend your money on???

      Just curious.:)

      I'm glad you like my idea.:)

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    62. Hey Vegas!

      I like spending it on ...stuff... :)

      And "Magic Tobacco". :)

      Delete
    63. Hey Socioempath-

      I guessed "Magic Tobacco".:)

      Stuff???

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    64. Hey Socioempath-

      PS-Man, you're tough...

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    65. Hey Vegas!

      Yes, stuff.

      :)

      Delete
    66. Hey Socioempath-

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    67. Hey Vegas!

      :):)

      Delete
    68. Hey Socioempath-

      :):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    69. Hey Vegas!

      :):):):)

      Delete
    70. All of these comments are so stupid and worthless. Do any of you have something substantial to write? You should all facebook/text each other. Stop pretending to be human. Pathological liars. Soulless mirrors. Murderers. Fucking parasites!

      Delete
    71. Hey anon-

      You seem so upset and tense...
      Don't worry!!! I'm here to help!!! :)

      Here you go, a relaxing video, just for you!!!
      So you can, you know, relax and stuff...
      'Cuz stress is bad for you and all that...

      Stay healthy my good anon!!!

      :):)

      Delete
    72. @anon 6:09am

      I love you

      Delete
  2. I get this. I like money, for example, but once I have enough to do what I want to do, I feel no real need to amass more.

    If I have enough money to spend on alcohol, drugs and curiousities, what more do I need? Plus: it's easy to seem generous and charitable when you don't actually care about having money.

    Experiences are better. Stories are better. Crafting some kind of nebulous, victorious legend: better. Hearing people say: "Oh! You're so-and-so."; even better. And then, on occasion, slipping into obscurity--new name, new alias, just for the night--is just as exhilarating.

    Give me experiences. Keep me entertained.


    -k.b.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vega yeah he was from Portland Maine. I do everything I can do to confuse people of who and what I am. I deal in guns etc. I never forget anything and it's awesome and my worst enemy. I chopped off This girls pig tail in 8 grade... I still laugh. A month back I was screaming at my self and decided to hit a rock read on at 65mph to see if I would feel pain.
      Fealt good. I don't do drugs im physically in great shape. Very Handsome covered in tattoos and to armed to the teeth. I'm not anxious at all. But I'm becoming more violent and risky and I don't know why and it. Bugs me.... I have so much good music.

      Jim-

      Delete
    2. Jim-

      "Vega"-I like it.:)

      Why were you "screaming at yourself", a month ago???

      ~Vegas

      Delete
  3. I like the poem, M.E.

    There is a grief in change; the emotion is a burden but it's also a vehicle that helps us integrate with a new environment. It's more bearable and productive when we don't fight the process.

    It's the cost of our richer emotional experience. But those sorts of emotions aren't necessarily negative.

    My emotions at the moment are definitely getting in the way of my objectively plotted course at work. Big time. They are forcing me to address things that have been bugging me for a long time. But if I didn't have them, I think I would lack the drive to get out of a situation that's far from optimal.

    I'd settle with the factors I do like about my job: that's easier, I can rationalise that... only my spirit is not free! My heart is constrained...

    eh, writing this I've just realised I could probably fix things by saying sorry. I would like to have some peace while I look for another job.

    Fuck's sake. I need to think about this shit. It seems so fucken risky. And not fair.

    How do you guys handle apologising? Tips? My boss is a narc and there's a big conservative machine operating around him to protect his interests.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apologise once, and only once. Narcs love to watch people grovel; if he doesn't accept your apology or seems disaffected by it, don't amp up the pressure. Disengage.

      Make a point of either apologising rapidly, or not at all. It breeds the idea that you're open to acknowledging your mistakes, but also that you don't dwell on things. Apologising for ancient history comes across as obsessive and pitiful; people will exploit that sign to watch you grovel.

      Apologies for catharsis can be selfish, but you're allowed to be selfish. Apologies for an ulterior goal are also selfish. Apologising in general is usually a selfish act, even if it also provides something for the other party.

      -k.b.

      Delete
    2. Cool, thanks k.b. Rapid and once - could be a good circuit-breaker.

      Interesting point about apologies being selfish. Most of our actions are, even collaboration. I think it's pretty rare for us to act against our own feel-good incentivisation. Even for acts that materially benefit another rather than ourselves, we usually find some emotional boost from alignment with some belief we hold.

      Delete
    3. Oh yes: definitely agreed that most, if not all, our actions are selfish to some degree. I think selfishness gets a bad rep, actually; if the world was universally more selfish, I think many of our issues would actually cease to exist.

      No truly selfish person has ever gone to war to die for some ideal he doesn't hold true. True selfishness cannot manifest through entrenched demagoguery; it recognizes that, at some point, it needs to serve itself rather than become part of a collective cult.

      Selfish people can be protective. I can be intensely protective over my friends and the people I find interesting and engaging, even to the point of self-sacrifice; but fundamentally, it's all fuelled by my selfish desire to keep them around.

      Embrace selfishness.

      -k.b.

      Delete
    4. North hi. I personally struggle with apologizing. Hmm I mean I absolutely have no problem apologizing if I feel I have hurt someone -even unintentionally. I am sorry they are hurting despite how it came about. But apologizing to keep in the good graces of someone. That is hard for me. I read an interesting article the other day about cowering to sociopaths or narcs. I'm sorry I don't have a link. It was on love fraud. It was what I needed to read at the moment. So much of life is an exchange of power but I also think it's about remembering who you are. Easily sidestepping others games.

      Delete
    5. North the article is appeasement-an impossible goal with a sociopath.

      Delete
    6. k.b. There's a disconnect between what we think we're doing and what we're actually doing. Our organisms are doing what they can to survive and reproduce. Prosocial and loving or caring acts are part of that equation; they are strategies, even if they aren't deliberate ones. I.e. We are all inherently selfish but wired for collaboration: it's a fascinating balance we play out each day.

      "True selfishness cannot manifest through entrenched demagoguery; it recognizes that, at some point, it needs to serve itself rather than become part of a collective cult."

      Nicely put. In small ways, we all reach this point when we switch jobs or sporting teams: the collective is demanding compliance which exceeds our limits of tolerance, or doesn't provide enough benefit. Individual and group aims are now in conflict; that seems quite natural, expected.

      anon - thanks, I'll check out the article when at my desk... I'm sure I'll have some thoughts on it. That's a very interesting dynamic indeed. **-* doesn't respond to - I guess appeasement is the word, though I prefer negotiation. Instead, I have to force the issue, press his buttons as hard as I can. It's so weird 'cause I don't like doing it. And it sends him over the top chasing his fantasies with me.

      And I'm with you: where I feel I've wronged someone, I have no problems apologising. In this case, it's quite different, I don't feel that way at all. But I have enough information about the cards they are playing to know they will all fight against me and that's a very unwise thing to encourage.

      There's a technique in rugby called "jackaling". One way to do it: let a player drive hard at you, taking some of their weight. Cede a step backwards and drop them to the ground. Steal the freakin' ball :) I'm good at that. In this case though, what's the ball? I'm after a smooth and peaceful workplace.

      I'll read and post back, thanks :)

      Delete
    7. Hi anon,

      Thanks for the article. It's very true we have the choice of whom to engage with and we can learn new responses.

      This situation at work is lobbed right in the crossroads of this sort of consideration.

      My new boss is a narc; a new member of the management team he hired is classically codependent on him. Appeasement is her default mode...

      It's a very revealing, quite-painful-to-watch dynamic. And of course, I got myself caught up in it.

      Gotta go now, will write soon...

      Delete
    8. North it is a very painful dynamic to observe and one that seems to be very common. A sort of symbiotic relationship in many ways. Being caught up in this kind of triangle reminds me of the roles that can manifest with a narc parent and children. There is a child that becomes a sort of right hand man that is excluded from the abuse. And then there is one that is the target. The parent senses something in that child. Something that can't be controlled.

      Delete
    9. Symbiotic is a great word for it. My psychologist said we attract people who match us where we are at. As we change, those sorts of ties break and we interact with people who are a better fit with our new patterns.

      Patterns stem from our childhood experiences :) (I was the favoured child. The dynamic was a bit different to appeasement; it was primarily that my father - and consequently everyone else - saw us as the same person. I didn't have a separate identity.

      At work, I've been learning to act on intuition, on feel. I've almost forgotten rules exist; I don't consciously consider them anymore. But they can be used to smack you. I suspect, though, that I will internalise this and it will become part of my intuition.

      Yesterday, I had a distinct sensation of creating myself in this situation. Of drawing lines around myself. I accepted the situation and accepted me. It's made a big difference because choices abound then.

      Delete
    10. North I know business is meant to be a bit cut throat. All business you know. ;-) but I think you can be successful and also be true to yourself. And it is hard when you get caught in those pesky triangles! More than one person working together trying to mess with you is more than unfair. It can seem like a downright conspiracy. I wish you the best and maybe a little luck. It never hurts! :-)

      Delete
  4. The poem is by Jose Chaves.

    Dammit M.E. You're going to make me look at the backpacking sites again. Now that my life has blown up (again) I'm going to have a hard time not doing it.


    And favorite SNL sketches:

    first one

    second one


    "Issue #4..." LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey D-

      How has your life "blown up"???

      No need to answer, if you do not want to...

      PS-THOSE SNL SKETCHES WERE AWESOME!!!

      Thank you.:)

      Have you seen "The Best of Eddie Murphy SNL"???

      That TOTALLY CRACKS ME UP!!!

      HA!!! LOL!!!

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    2. Say a relative dies and you get a message from a law firm saying you have to fill out some forms to get what they left you. The law firm emails you 100 PDFs and say they want them signed and sent back in 2 days. You think to yourself "Fuck..." and email them to your work email address so you can read them on lunch. You download the emails, read them at lunch, and then email a couple of them back to our personal email account. The computer security people at work totally sperg out and say you're stealing sensitive info from the company. There's a meeting and they accuse you of being worse than Hitler. You just sit there and deny everything and won't be intimidated. After looking into it, they find that you didn't do anything but they fire you because they think you're a jerk and you hurt their feelings. I'm thinking of going to truck driving school.

      Delete
    3. Hey D-

      Do you know if it's legal, to be fired, on those grounds???

      If it's not-will you be looking into your legal options???

      I think you'd be an AWESOME TRUCK DRIVER!!!

      You'd get to see a lot of places, maybe take someone with you, and you might even have a bed in the back of your cab...

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    4. Plus I heard they get paid like 18$+ an hour and work overtime usually. The road is long but they get nice breaks when they are done. And they get to have a shit load of fun and talk dirty on their CB.

      Delete
    5. Hey T-

      I bet they get to listen to a lot of AWESOME MUSIC, too!!!

      :)

      ~Ve

      Delete
    6. That should've been "Hey D & T"...

      :)

      ~Ve

      Delete
  5. Interesting. "Like I guess I care about money and power and things to a certain extent, but not in the same way that I see others caring about them. I don't identify with them, or feel like I need them to be happy, or get really worried about not having them. I have no emotional attachment to them at all."

    I get that sociopaths have no emotional attachment; I'm somewhat less clear what you mean when you say that you have no attachment to power -- I thought wielding power was/is a socios wet dream.



    "Of course this distance from the status quo rat race life that most people are so deeply embedded in they're not even aware there is an alternative, this distance comes with costs. Costs like not understanding why everyone else in the world is so stressed out or unhappy about certain things."

    Speaking only for myself, I could write a book about things happening in this world that stress me out. Trump's win and his new cabinet, the thought of racists running the government, etc., is sickening. And yeah, sometimes it really sucks to care. Still, I'd rather care than not; being indifferent to the world around me sounds boring as hell. But, I also think the advantages versus disadvantages of caring are pretty even, depending on what you want from life.

    "I've been thinking about that a lot this past week or so, my ability to not care and what a relief that is as the world seems to get more and more farcical."

    That makes sense. I distance myself from certain 'farcical' horrors via gallows humor. Without dark humor to buoy up my spirit I'd drown in a vale of tears. Yuck.

    The poem is beautiful and expresses that wondrous hunger for new experiences and growth that to me embodies the ultimate search for individual purpose and meaning.

    Mr. Hyde

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mr Hyde,

      Your posts lift my spirit, inspire me to spread my wings and catch a soaring wind.

      Delete
    2. North,

      Aw shucks. *blushing*

      Spread your wings, by all means. The wind waits for no one. Just make sure you mind the sudden updrafts that can send you hurling in Trump Tower's gold-glazed windowpanes. ;-D

      Mr. Hyde

      Delete
    3. Good advice, Mr Hyde

      *sheaths talons and embarks for work*

      Delete
    4. Mr. Hyde,
      I don't know if it makes much sense but, I, myself, couldn't give less about power. It's not so much about power than it is about having the upper hand in a situation against someone you dislike, or someone trying to corner you. I love to learn, at least to have general knowledge about every subject possible, and I like to argue. People seem to think I argue to show that I'm more knowledgeable, to put others down, or to push my beliefs on people when in fact it is to allow me to understand both sides of the argument, and to gather more fact. When I find an atheist downpressing someone or making a fool out of them for their belief I'll argue for the theist, when I see a theist doing the same I'll take the atheist's side (love to brag about it, I've turned a religious man atheist, and an atheist into a dip my toe into religions). To me it really doesn't matter, it's the same story told differently, both sides of the same coin. In short people might think I'm doing it for power when that really isn't my intention. The only power I seek is over my emotions, my body, my brain, and my life. I don't care enough about other's plans to feel the need to control them, and I don't believe money is power (just that they've made it almost mandatory to live).

      That being said, I hate feeling that someone is playing me (I cath on pretty quickly). In a situation where that happens, I will subtly turn the table on them so that by the time they realize they've fucked up, it'll be to late. That's about having the upper hand and not being made a fool out of. I feel it's safe to say sociopaths don't go around like vampires building up their power by transforming people and taking over their lives. I think the sociopath is simply selfish enough to do anything, including deceive people to get what they want. In the process they usually establish and assume some kind of power over certain individuals to make it happen, working in the "shadows" (dare I say) gives them the upper hand. I think it's more about pleasure than it is about power, though I admit many find pleasure in power, and will do anything for it. I find pleasure in knowledge, every time I find someone taking a strog confident stance I will engage in a debate (usually building a bridge and friendship, instead of a wall) with them. I'd say power is the means by which you achieve some of the things you want, not the ultimate goal. Power comes in many forms, not only by deceiving people and leading them where you want. My few cents.

      Delete
    5. I love it when I don't get asked to prove I'm a robot... it's a bitch and a half over the phone.

      Delete
    6. Tii,

      Well said. Thank you for defining the finer points of your relationship to power and to knowledge. I especially liked this: "The only power I seek is over my emotions, my body, my brain, and my life."

      Power does come in many forms and the strongest of these is the power to rule oneself. Without that one is at the mercy of others, their ability to trigger to one's weak spots. It's interesting that being either selfish or unselfish can be manipulated . . . there's always a way to tweak any trait. That's why I think it's so vital to know one's self through and through and never stop self-examination. Self deception is worse than being deceived by others, ask me.

      Mr. Hyde

      PS Do people really ask you if you're robot?! Is "T" for terminator? (sorry, I couldn't resist. ;)

      Delete
    7. Tii,

      You wrote:
      I feel it's safe to say sociopaths don't go around like vampires building up their power by transforming people and taking over their lives. I think the sociopath is simply selfish enough to do anything, including deceive people to get what they want. In the process they usually establish and assume some kind of power over certain individuals to make it happen, working in the "shadows" (dare I say) gives them the upper hand.

      This resonates strongly with my experience of **-*. A, too, agreed that sociopaths are compelled to take the upper hand at the negotiating table.

      It makes sense to me given the emotional deficit: there are so many social/status cues that must be missed: that innate drive for the upper hand is useful not just in obtaining advantage but in avoiding disadvantage too. It simply puts disadvantage at a greater distance; although at a higher risk.

      It's a different paradigm of the human condition, perfectly valid for its existence, and successful after its own fashion.

      Why would sociopaths expend more energy than necessary on power acquisition? I imagine a proportion - as there is a proportion of neurotypicals - who seek power, or fame, or money. But I would hypothesise there's far greater heterogeneity within the psychopathic population than the current narratives adequately explain.

      Delete
    8. Mr. Hyde,
      Lmao, I meant the website before letting you submit. People generally accuse me of being a robot instead of asking. Though my parents gave me this new one the other day, "... I'd call you a robot but, a robot at least is programmed with some sense to care and love it's creator..." I thought it better not to respond with an argument, so I left it at that.

      North,
      Exactly! I'm always saying that! There are millions of sociopaths out there, the majority undiscovered (people don't generally go around looking for them). That means that most of them are unaware and/or live pretty well along with NTs. The ones that are flashy and are discovered are the reason for all the stereotypes. I, myself, find it a hassle to try and gain monetary or hierarchical power. Ain't nobody got time for that.

      Delete
    9. it's very interesting that power is such a hot topic here ;)
      hey north, you said "It makes sense to me given the emotional deficit: there are so many social/status cues that must be missed".... but the emotional deficit doesn't need to imply that a sociopath misses many social cues... if you are good in observing other people and if you are not that stupid, you can easily compensate for the emotional deficit.

      alice

      Delete
    10. Hey Alice,
      What are the odds of being able to teach English in Germany, without speaking much German. Or, do you know of any jobs that don't require much German? Someone suggested to me trying out an Irish pub because they are always looking for English speakers, or a hotel of some sort since I speak English, French, and quite a bit of Spanish... would yoi agree?

      Delete
    11. hey tii, well I guess not in a school (you need to be teacher then and they don't even have enough money to hire as many teacher as needed haha) but there are some private language institutes (but I don't know if you need a special education... as far as I know the people there can't necessarily speak german)... or there are some private tuition institues (they often employ students). well other jobs... I guess in frankfurt there are a lot of companies which also employ students and I think there it's more important to be good in english than in german and, I don't know what you are going to study but I guess something with business or some finacial stuff, so you woud fit in such a company as working student (I would choose this if I were you because it will promote your career, you get more money etc). you can also ask in your university they often need research assistants... I also can imagine they employ people without german knowledge in irish pubs but in hotels I don't know (I guess it could be a problem with the other employees... they usually don't speak (good) english) ... but I think it's worth a try... anyway I wish you luck and you can just ask me if you need further information etc :)

      alice

      Delete
    12. Hey alice :)

      "but the emotional deficit doesn't need to imply that a sociopath misses many social cues... if you are good in observing other people and if you are not that stupid, you can easily compensate for the emotional deficit."

      Thanks for pointing this out. Honestly, I felt a bit reluctant writing that sentence as I've had questions arising these last few weeks from observing **-*. He does pick things.

      When I asked him if he was a sociopath a couple of years ago, he didn't say much, but he did say "sometimes I get confused." I think my idea came from there.

      But what is it he "gets confused" about?

      If you ask my ideas on this... I think the confusion is around intention and method. Bonding is experienced differently and so much of our social experience is around relationship.

      I'd be very interested to hear people's thoughts on this!

      Delete
    13. I have absolutely observed the confusion about motivations. This is why I think they need a trusted right hand man -to bounce things off of. And I think that's also why they have such a plethora of plans. One usually sticks. But exactness? Not the ones I have observed.

      Delete
    14. Not to be pessimistic, but answering "sometimes I get confused" to a question like that to me sounds like a way to keep someone around. Saying yes, or I think so (if you're aware) sorta implies that at least half the emotions you've displayed around that person was you acting. This can seem like a turn off to people if they begin to think they were just played. Saying no to someone who's asked that and sticking around wouldn't work. Just by asking the person shows that they've picked up on some clues, if you stick around they'll realize, eventually that you are. Sure they're are ways to counter that later on... but, if you're trying to stay onest without freaking someone out "I get confused sometimes" is the correct answer so that if the matter arises again later and you're accused of being one, you can always say "I told you I get confused sometimes, maybe that's why."

      Delete
    15. Hey Tii,

      I appreciate that perspective... and it's quite possible. He was also saying things like "I haven't thought about" and "maybe." He was definitely keeping his options open.

      When I emailed him with the objective reasons I thought he was a sociopath, he told me he loved that email!

      But I do think he gets confused about things, or interprets them incorrectly. He'll attribute aggressive intent where there is none. He hold fast - stubborn - in preference to open discussion that would create a win-win.

      anon wrote:
      I have absolutely observed the confusion about motivations. This is why I think they need a trusted right hand man -to bounce things off of. And I think that's also why they have such a plethora of plans. One usually sticks. But exactness? Not the ones I have observed.

      I think this is true. I've seen **-* test out his spiels to see how people will react. Like a dress rehearsal. He even told me once when something fell flat - "yeah, that was beyond what I am good at." Very puzzling sentence at the time.

      It's very interesting. Tii and alice, what do you think? Is there a difference in interpreting intention and motivation? I know from my side the intentions of a psychopath are just so different, so puzzling, so unexpected.

      Is it the same for psychopaths dealing with neurotypicals? Or have you developed sufficient heuristics over your lifetimes?

      I feel I'm learning **-* a little but also feel it would be forever learning to understand the why behind his actions. This is usually very natural - or at least discernible - in other relationships. With him, all our disagreements are remote: over the phone or over text. In person, we read each other better.

      Delete
    16. I mean that after the event, I can interpret his actions a teensy bit better. But I'm still relatively poor at predicting his actions, especially when there's tension (which is where the primary differences in motivations play out.)

      Delete
    17. I agree with tii, this is a good strategy I guess and I think I did it myself a few times (but until now I wasn't aware of it)... but I experienced this can also backfire. hey anon, where did you observe the confusion about motivations? (just curious) I guess everyone is sometimes a little bit confused about others intentions and actions... would be really strange if someone could relate to everyone and every motivation, wouldn't it?

      alice

      Delete
    18. oh hey north didn't read your last post... I'll answer later... need go to my lab and blow up a few things haha:P

      alice

      Delete
    19. My brain was on work today... the first thing he said when I mentioned it was "I'm happy for you to call me that, just don't tell anyone else."

      I took him seriously about being confused because it made sense of a few incidents that triggered my suspicions in the first place, e.g.

      - our mutual friend was struggling with work and it seemed to not resonate with him at all. He didn't respond in expected ways, it was empty, nothing. Not cold, per se, just... nothing.
      - after we'd split up, my then-husband was facing court. **-* and I were vaguely circling, but not so much. I was stressed about it and emailed him. On the day, I actually phoned him and it was the same sort of emptiness. I must have reacted to that because I distinctly remember him "switching on" and responding as I might have previously expected.

      Again, now I think about it, alice, these slip ups occurred in phone conversations. The more blatant strangenesses were coldness after sex, those vacuous, dark eyes, those fantasies that seem to overtake him. And something that just seems... different. Something you can't quite put your finger on; his gait, his stance, his left-fieldness.

      (I haven't seen that coldness or vacuity this time around. Not yet anyway.)

      Different is dangerous, as well I am learning right now at work. Tii, I think I have always been primarily curious about him rather than judgemental. I have at least as much to be judged on if it comes to that...

      Delete
    20. North They always interpreted that I was playing a game. Playing them..This is what I believe all the weirdness came down to, in my personal experience. They were interpreting everything I did as if I were completely aware we were playing a game. The game is their reality.

      Delete
    21. And I know your very well aware of this fact but it's so strange the things they thought were of ill intent. Common kindness. Its a little sad really. They couldn't trust that someone would do something nice just to do it. That still is hard for me to understand.

      Delete
    22. Hey T-

      I know what Beaujolais Nouveau is...

      :)

      ~Ve

      Delete
    23. Hey T-

      Also, it's delicious...

      :)

      ~Ve

      Delete
    24. Hey T-

      PS-I've never had it with crepes, but I bet it's delicious that way, too...

      :)

      ~Ve

      Delete
    25. Alice hi. I have unknowingly observed sociopaths my whole life. I've been very close with a few. It is impossible to know anyones true intentions. You can only hope for the best.

      Delete
    26. Hey T-

      PPS-You're making me dream, of Europe...

      :)

      ~Ve

      Delete
    27. Hey T-

      PPPS-You are SO LUCKY!!!

      :)

      ~Ve

      Delete
    28. hey north, I think there is a difference in interpreting intentions and motivations. for me, the motivations are more important because they show me a person's character which is important to predict their actions etc. for instance if someone has always very good intentions (like helping other people) but his motivation is actually selfish and he want to prove that he is a "good" person, the motivation gives you a better understanding of this person (and you can use this to prodict him or to maipulate him etc)... maybe the intentions are just the mirror of the motivation. "I know from my side the intentions of a psychopath are just so different, so puzzling, so unexpected. Is it the same for psychopaths dealing with neurotypicals? Or have you developed sufficient heuristics over your lifetimes?" well I don't know if I'm a psychopath or sociopath or whatever, but I'm quite good in reading and predicting people and yeah I find it often confusing but the trick then is to just accept the intentions or motivations. I don't need to understand them to predict their actions because I figured out there is only a limited amount of pattern of motivation/intentions (which I usually determine through observing) and following actions (took me some years to figure this out). it's like the weather... you don't need to understand the circulation of the air to predict the weather (even if it's a very interesting topic)...
      hey anon, "It is impossible to know anyones true intentions. You can only hope for the best." It may be true that you don't know others intentions for sure, but there are quite good indicators of someone's intentions. so you can not only hope for the best, but you can also influence it for your benefit... and sociopaths are only humans, too haha so maybe they have different pattern but I'm sure they have some... you only need to determine them.

      alice

      Delete
    29. Hey anon,

      About them interpreting our actions as manipulative or as a game: that's been the case between **-* and me. And not my intent!

      As with us: assuming niceness or at least mutuality and being stunned it's not the case, that they're not motivated that way.

      Hey anon,

      About them interpreting our actions as manipulative or as a game: that's been the case between **-* and me. And not my intent!

      As with us: assuming niceness or at least mutuality and being stunned it's not the case, that they're not motivated that way.

      Our bias as humans is to predict based on our own motivations, experience, methods.

      "And I know your very well aware of this fact but it's so strange the things they thought were of ill intent. Common kindness. Its a little sad really. They couldn't trust that someone would do something nice just to do it. That still is hard for me to understand."

      Our bias as humans is to predict based on our own motivations, experience, methods.

      alice, I agree they have patterns that can be determined. That's a key reason I think socios like withholding information or creating false info economies because it constrains everyone else's ability to predict. This gives them the "upper hand"

      While we can operate effectively enough without knowing the "why" behind the pattern, one of those very fundamental components of the human psyche is curiosity. We ask 'why?' of anything painful or disadvantageous for a very powerful reason: it helps us learn more effectively, to create beliefs upon which to generate better predictions. Much of this process is subconscious.

      This is why I haven't been satisfied with explanations that don't fit the data of my experience and why I keep revising my own beliefs.

      My approach is to find the commonalities, the common elements of our experience. Then, given the differing capabilities (or at least, different wired priorities or focuses) and contexts, the different social strategies make sense.

      alice, have you ever read Thomas Nagel's What Is It Like To Be A Bat? It's a philosophical paper on the nature of consciousness and experience. We cannot conceive of a bat's experience, living in a world of sonar and fly catching, no matter how we imagine it.

      In the case of other humans who operate within different paradigms (differing neural capabilities, focuses and strategies), I'm more hopeful that we can at least understand the 'why' of our behavioural patterns. But this is just me lens on it, my curiosity.

      That's why I enjoy hearing about how you guys experience things.

      Delete
    30. Apologies for the iPhone copy-paste weirdness

      Delete
    31. hey north, "That's a key reason I think socios like withholding information or creating false info economies because it constrains everyone else's ability to predict." never thought about that until now, but I guess this could be true. I just realized I do this quite often because it really gives one the upper hand. but I don't know if most people do this or if they are all so honest to share informations even if they are leading to negative situations for themselves.
      I didn't read the paper yet but it sounds very interesting and I will definitely read it!

      alice

      Delete
    32. "or if they are all so honest to share informations even if they are leading to negative situations for themselves"

      I - and I think many neurotypicals - share information as a way of building relationships. We think that's a good outcome, we're inclined to do that. In other words, we are biologically incentivised to build trust because it allows us to achieve more together.

      This is why it's confusing to fight with **-*. Every instinct and pattern I have pushes me to clarify my goals, explain my motivations, invite his perspective. He seems to feel at risk of being manipulated and completely locks down (doesn't seem to matter where so long as he doesn't budge.)

      I did explain this and he has noted it, volunteering a little more information these days... for whatever reason that may be; I don't think it matters, for instance, if he's just giving me what I want because he wants stuff from me. I think we all do that to a degree.

      From my side, I'm learning not to catastrophise and to listen and offer room for his perspective.

      Delete
    33. North I I agree we share information as a way to build trust but also as a way to connect with others. It is so important to our psyche to be able to do this freely. I believe it allows our minds to grow and develop in a healthy way. In so many ways I feel this inability to be open,to connect is what keeps sociopaths minds from functioning at their full potential.

      Delete
    34. I guess that's why I feel we can only hope for the best. Second guessing others causes us to second guess ourselves. We ultimately hurt/ hinder ourselves. There are far worse outcomes than losing.

      Delete
    35. Alice your thoughts on motivation/intention make a lot of sense to me. I observed the sociopath I knew doing a lot of "nice" things for others. And something about them always seemed off to me. Way off. But it's hard to fathom that people would go out of their way to do nice things to try to appear"good" I guess that's why they didn't trust the nice things I did for them. They couldn't figure out what my motivation was. .

      Delete
    36. Hi anon,

      Thanks, those are helpful reflections. I'm learning to make connections with people only these last few years; I agree connection creates an environment in which we can flourish.

      ("Help" or any interaction really had previously been rather a threat; people after their own objectives and I hadn't learned the skills to negotiate my own place. It's made all the difference to my life to find an environment in which my contribution was valued in the achievement of team goals and where I was personally valued. That changed my life, showed me much better things were possible than the isolated fight and clenching self-reliance I was accustomed to.)

      These are very different strategies to deal with social threat and opportunity: the one wired to enjoy and seek (and assume) collaboration / shared journeys; the other ruggedly self-reliant and hyper-aware of both threat and opportunity.

      Delete
    37. We assume safety in numbers and although we are aware of competition and competing objectives, it doesn't occur to us to maliciously act for others' disadvantage. We naturally assume fair intent because we have fair intent.

      I find it interesting to watch **-* struggle with honesty. It's his favourite topic of conversation. He is appalled by the dishonesty of companies and governments. It grates in him. I asked him why and he said "why should I be honest if they are not?" The other day he said "to be honest is to be stupid." I had previously asked him how he holds this position given his lack of honesty; he held himself very straight and said it was time to make reparation.

      I think maybe we all need to feel whole, innocent.

      Delete
    38. North I think your right. We all do need to feel both whole and innocent. We want others to feel that way. We want to accept and love others. For whatever reasons sociopaths seem appalled by this. They spit it back at us. And somehow we can continue to love. I think that is one of the biggest things I've taken away from all this.

      Delete
    39. I have always had to learn things the hard way. I am very self reliant. I am extremely stubborn. And people just don't mess with me much. Not to my face anyway. I am also very vulnerable in many ways. I feel like it shows. A weird mix of tough and vulnerable I guess it took someone like them to reach me. I wonder if I reached them at all

      Delete
    40. hey north, I just read the paper and it was very interesting/(thanks for posting it :) ). I thinl nagel is right in many ways, for instance that our imagination is limited due to our experiences. do you sometimes think about why you are you? I mean why am I just me and not someone else? this such a strange feeling, I can't really descibe. but it fascinates me and I'm curious if other people also think about this and have this strange feeling.
      hey anon, "But it's hard to fathom that people would go out of their way to do nice things to try to appear"good" I guess that's why they didn't trust the nice things I did for them. They couldn't figure out what my motivation was." I guess they are very stupid then... I experienced that there really are some people with genuinely good motivations and if they would have figured out that you are such a person (well I don't know you personaly but for now I just assume you are) they could have trusted you. for instance I know a guy, I believe is really genuine. he really cares about other people and don't only want to appear like a good person. (he is studying medicine and in germany the most easy part about this study is to gain a phd. and he is the only person I know that does not want to get a phd because in this time he will do nothing important to help people. the doctoral studies are usually about things a assistant is usually doing... I would be the first one who would say yes to such an easy obtained phd!)
      "For whatever reasons sociopaths seem appalled by this. They spit it back at us. And somehow we can continue to love." well I guess if you can not love, then you can not relate to people who feel that way. and then this is kind of appalling I guess... maybe it's compareable with the feeling you have when you think about a gay couple while you are not gay.... and for whatever reason you can still love them... this is really fascinating! humans in general are really fascinating!

      alice

      Delete
    41. maybe I should start to make different paragraphs... it's really confusing...I'm sorry for that

      alice

      Delete
    42. Alice hmm I guess stupid is as stupid does. ;-) humans are fascinating . We are all fascinating in our own way.

      Delete
    43. Hey alice,

      do you sometimes think about why you are you? I mean why am I just me and not someone else?
      This is a very interesting question and though I haven't naturally pondered it, I can understand it. For me, my questions of self have been different in nature, I think because I was miserable and didn't quite know it. From very early in life, I found peace and strength in my own mind, in my own thoughts. So I've always known and deeply trusted my own mind (though my feelings were a mystery to me.) I don't fear death the way many people do and see my identity as integrated with my physical organism with all its (often competing) agendas.

      anon, you wrote you've been a weird mix of tough and vulnerable and it took a sociopath to reach you. This is resonates strongly with me. The toughness is in my thinking; the vulnerability in my feeling. Now I am growing my capabilities in the latter... but as I've written here previously: I'm a learner driver with the keys to a Corvette, and I'm crashing into bins and park benches all over the place.

      alice (and others): do you have have goals that are shared with others? Specifically, we can seek collaborators on our own projects or we can contribute to a mutual goal. At work, it's a combination of both: the ideal is where our own goals align with the group's. This means everyone is pulling in the same direction such that the group thrives (managers call this "being engaged".)

      What's your experience of this? How about in personal relationships?

      Delete
    44. "For whatever reasons sociopaths seem appalled by this. They spit it back at us. "

      Yes. They cannot understand it (Alice's analogy is pretty helpful)... and thus cannot control it. They can only poison it or try to limit it. That's quite sad, I think, for everyone involved.

      I think it's easier for me to make space for his paradigm - his experience - than it is for him to make space for mine. Still, it's pattern recognition, reverse-engineering, on both sides.

      Delete
    45. hey north, yes I do have goals I share with others, but only regarding work... you can only achieve something when you collaborate with others (I think I wrote about that in a previous post some months ago)... "How about in personal relationships?" actually I don't really understand this question. what goals do one should have in a personal relationship? do you mean something like getting married or children? (a very personal question... it's ok if you don't want to answer: what are your goals in personal relationships?) anyway I think I have no shared goals with people who are close to me. I only try to achieve my dreams and well, I'm not a good fairy and I don't fulfil other's dreams... I often hear people say "if you are happy I'm also happy"... I think this is really bullshit... but if someone would have the same dream (and if it is a dream which can be shared, not something like " have more power than ...") I would pair up with this person.

      alice

      Delete
    46. Hey alice,

      Thanks very much, I appreciate it.

      On the work side of things, the two socios I've worked with (**-* and Knife-guy) really pursued their own desires on the work front, and kinda tangentially or minimally contributing to stated goals. I'm a bit like this too - I want freedom- but I also take pleasure and pride in creating outputs and outcomes explicitly to meet the needs of the group. I like to be part of a thriving community.

      As for personal relationships - well, I don't have much experience with mutual journeys but I feel it's something like finding out what each others' needs and preferences are and supporting each other to grow into that. Maybe kids come into it; well much of the time they do.

      As you point out, I don't think dreams or goals can align even so well as they might do at work. It's more like patterns of reciprocal altruism, reciprocal support by which we can grow and achieve more personally than we can in isolation.

      Maybe anon can explain it better!

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. I have a lot to do, but I'll be back...

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    2. Hey, M.E.-

      :)

      I know...

      :(

      I have to try, though...

      :(

      Wish me luck???

      I'm going to need it...

      :(

      You don't know it, but you've "saved me", since the 1st day I came here...

      Thank you.:)

      :):):):):):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    3. Hey, M.E.-

      Mr. Hyde already "outed" me, but just to clarify...

      ...the "Song of the Day", is FOR YOU!!!

      :):):):):):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    4. Ve,
      Good song! I love the beat. Didn't know that one.

      Delete
    5. Hey T!!!

      I'm glad you like the song-it does have a good beat.:)

      I'm glad it's "something new", for you.:)

      Do you think M.E. likes it???

      :)

      ~Ve

      Delete
    6. Ve,
      I like to think I have great taste in music. If ME's got an ounce of good taste I'm sure she'll enjoy. ^_^

      Delete
    7. Hey T-

      I hope you're right.:)

      You gave me "the face"...

      :):):):):):):):)

      ~Ve

      Delete
    8. Hey T-

      PS-That just made me think of the movie "Office Space"!!!

      Have you seen it???

      I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!!

      :)

      ~Ve

      Delete
    9. Ve,
      Nope, don't think I've seen it. I don't watch many movies.

      Delete
    10. Hey T-

      If you haven't seen it, and you get the chance, I highly recommend it...

      THAT MOVIE CRACKS ME UP!!!

      HA!!! LOL!!!

      :)

      ~Ve

      Delete
  7. Hey, M.E.-

    I love this post, more than words can say.:)

    It's as if you and Jose Chavez, can see into my soul...

    :):):):):):):):)

    -Vegas

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. P.S.-

      I think that NT's focus on "the shell" a lot, whereas Sociopaths see through and beyond "the shell"-that is something I have always loved, about my husband.:)

      -Vegas

      Delete
    2. Hey, M.E.-

      Just a quick "pop-in".:)

      This post made me think about a movie trilogy I really love, that includes the movies Before Sunrise/Before Sunset/Before Midnight.:)

      I LOVE THOSE MOVIES!!!

      I love Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy...

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    3. PS-

      I love this scene, that Julie Delpy sings and plays guitar in, from the end of the 2nd movie in the trilogy...

      Before Sunset

      AWaltzforaNight

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
  8. Great! Thanks for sharing the information. That is very helpful for increasing my knowledge in this field.
    Five Nights At Freddy's, run 3

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hey, M.E.-

    I'm listening to "Fresh Eyes"...

    :):):):):):):):):)

    ~Vegas

    ReplyDelete
  10. Now this is worth reading.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Here I go again retyping this. I was diagnosed at age 13 as a sociopath. I come from a wealthy family with a father that just like me now. I never had any people that called friends. I used to protect the smaller kids by beating the up the bullies at school a parasitic relationship. I police started coming around young in life. I beat bullies and assholes regularly. I lost my composure last time and yanked the guys teeth out with Kline pliers. So that sets us back about 5 years.
    Being a law breaking criminal smooth talking playboy type I could get my ass out of hot water if needed. But the whole tooth incident wasn't going away. So I left everything and went overseas Asia all over most of Africa Middle East etc. my goal was to become the a criminal mastermind for the 3rd worlds. I achieved it very quickly. I was in volver im anything and everything. With out problems. While working in West Africa. I was captured by some some men stopped working with. I'm my compound and my guns.
    I was really difficult in the beginning. They held me captive for 37 days of sub par torture.
    During this reflection time I would come up with a was to kill my self, and after 5 foiled attempts. I abandoned the idea. I had two your boboreal dogs. I had no choice I killed them quickly for my hose guest and they ate them. I realized that I've been alone all my life but something was different and this feeling was vast emptiness. I wished I'd die every minute.
    More B-team tortures ensued and rancid puppy with rice. I managed to escape with most of my skin etc. I jacked some car and went to Guinea for new guns. I plotted the whole time obsessing I was not in ideal state. I went back to my evicted my unwanted house guests. I freaked some more torched the compound and left for Thailand.
    INTERPOL issues me (Red Notice) and I was taken into custody at Bangkok airport.

    "I tried to be good, I was a failure. So I took to taking all the goodness down"..

    J-

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon,
      Any idea what happened after Bangkok Airport?

      Delete
    2. J-

      "I tried to be good, I was a failure. So I took to taking all the goodness down"..

      I only have a moment, but I wanted to tell you-that is a perfect quote!!!

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    3. I sat in Thai prison and was extradited back to Liberia.

      Delete
    4. Where, I sat in Monrovia Central Prison.. Ellen Johnson the president made it a point to let me rot in there for while. I paid a bunch of cash did 9 months and went to Sri Lanka.

      @Vegas
      Here is the song that's from Daves dead now but great stuff.

      https://youtu.be/pjlOh47-Wt4

      Delete
    5. (https://youtu.be/pjlOh47-Wt4)

      Delete
    6. OMG!!!

      I LOVE THAT SONG!!!

      That is new music for me...

      Thank You!!!

      :):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    7. Anytime.

      https://youtu.be/LaaemmGynow

      Delete
  12. These things may sound ridiculous, the next time you dig into the many aspects of it would appear logical. Article is truely awfully impressive how to get help in windows 10

    ReplyDelete
  13. Socioempath-

    If you are out there, and you had chocolate coffee with milk today- I hope it was delicious!!!

    :):):)

    ~Vegas

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vegas -

      I just had some delicious coffee!!!

      :):):)☺

      Delete
    2. Hey, SE!!!

      We were enjoying delicious coffee, at the same time!!!

      We must be "telepathically linked"...

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    3. Hey, SE!!!

      PS-Did you miss me???

      :):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    4. Hey, SE!!!

      PPS-Did you like the "Waltz For A Night" song, I shared???

      Just curious...

      :):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    5. Hey, SE!!!

      PPPS-My psychic abilities tell me that you are out and about in your HOT BILLY IDOL CAR, cranking "Never Gonna Give You Up", and "trolling for skank"...

      Am I right???

      :):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    6. Hey Vegas!!!

      No, you are not right.
      I am not out and about in my hot billy idol car, cranking "Never Gonna Give You Up", and "trolling for skank"...

      I am drinking coffee.

      :)

      Delete
    7. Hey Vegas!!!

      Hello.

      :):)

      Delete
    8. Hey SE!!!

      You don't have to tell me your secrets...

      :)

      You make me giggle-you sound just like my husband, when he sits and drinks coffee...

      :):)

      Yesterday, I tried my coffee your way-black...

      :):):)

      I am drinking coffee, too...

      :):):):)

      How did you know, I was here???

      Hello...

      :):):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    9. Hey SE-

      PS-Is my T-Shirt safe???

      :):):):):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    10. Hey Vegas!!!

      Unfortunately, I have lost the T-Shirt....
      It is somewhere in the wardrobe...

      But it is safe!!!

      :)

      Delete
    11. Hey Socioempath!!!

      I'm glad my T-Shirt is "safe", somewhere in the wardrobe.:)

      I'm enjoying some delicious coffee!!!

      I only have a moment, but I have a song for you!!!

      Foals

      MountainAtMyGates

      Lyrics:

      "Mountain At My Gates"

      I see a mountain at my gates
      I see it more and more each day
      What I give, it takes away
      Whether I go or when I stay

      I see a mountain at my gates
      I see it more and more each day
      I see a fire out by the lake
      I'll drive my car without the brakes

      I see a mountain in my way
      It's looming larger by the day
      I see a darkness in my fate
      I'll drive my car without the brakes

      Oh, gimme some time
      Show me the foothold from which I can climb
      Yeah, when I feel low
      You show me a signpost for where I should go

      I see a mountain at my gates
      I see it more and more each day
      And my desire wears a dark dress
      But each day, I see you less

      Oh, gimme some time
      Show me the foothold from which I can climb
      Yeah, when I feel low
      You show me a signpost for where I should go

      Through lanes and stone rows
      Black granite, wind blows
      Fire lake and far flame
      Go now but come again
      Dark clouds gather 'round
      Will I run or stand my ground?

      Oh, when I come to climb
      Show me the mountain so far behind
      Yeah, it's farther away
      Its shadow gets smaller day after day

      Yeah, gimme my way
      Gimme my love
      Gimme my choice
      You keep me coming around
      Gimme my fate
      Gimme my lungs
      Gimme my voice
      You keep me coming around
      Gimme my lungs
      Gimme my, gimme my, gimme my, gimme my
      Gimme my, gimme my, gimme my, gimme my, gimme my way
      Gimme my fate
      Gimme my lungs
      Gimme my choice
      You keep me coming round

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    12. Hey A-

      If you are out there...

      I just saw the word "Alpha"-my name for you!!!

      I don't see that word often...

      Signs...

      :):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    13. Hey Vegas!!!

      Was it black coffee???

      :)

      PS-

      I'm having some delicious coffee!!!

      :):)

      PPS-

      If you get the chance, try this coffee!!! It's yummy!!!

      :):):)

      Delete
    14. Hey Vegas!!!

      PPPS-

      I forgot to say thank you for "popping in" and sharing a song for me!!!

      I have a funny awesome song - how about a song for the ladies???

      :):):):)

      Delete
    15. Hey, SE!!!

      Nope, it wasn't black coffee. It was a "Hot Venti Non-Fat Peppermint Mocha No Whip", from Starbucks.:)

      I have whip added, when I'm feeling "naughty".:)

      Life is better, with whipped cream.:)

      HA!!! LOL!!!

      :)

      What kind of "delicious coffee", are you having???

      :):)

      Thanks for the recommendation!!! Is that German coffee???

      :):):)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
    16. Hey Vegas!!!

      I way having delicious black coffee!!!

      :)

      But that chocolate one is also delicious!!! Just like hot chocolate!!! The only coffee besides black coffee I enjoy!!!

      :):)

      I don't know really...
      I just found it in a store and bought some...
      But it probably is German!!! Germans have the best chocolate!!!

      :):):)

      Delete
  14. Vegas~ here's anther band and song..

    https://youtu.be/LaaemmGynow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jim-

      Thanks, for more "new tunes"!!!

      ~Vegas

      Delete
  15. Anyone else have super bad insomnia from sociopathy ? I see images of things I saw in the day when I close my eyes and they flip all right that's it's... been my problem for years.
    Jim

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hey, M.E.!!!

    :)

    ~Vegas

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, M.E.-

      PS-The 1st song I heard in the car today was "Adventure of a Lifetime"...

      :)

      ~Vegas

      Delete
  17. Im a poor idolizer. I've gained well above average in superficial objects and been as low as they go. If it wasn't for the attention I bring to myself for not earning, even tho I still had attention when the hummer was parked outside, I'd probably sleep like a baby in a cardboard box. In my blue collar life, I got more shit(n by more shit I mean those "I have a cure for everything advice/lectures" n you'll b right on your feet) for my elaborate gift of not givin a shit than people admiring the ability.

    But when I was in my domain,(muahahahahahahaha) that was a whole different story, oh yes, we were young Gods in our hood.

    #Straight outta the isolation cell

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hey, M.E.!!!

    If I haven't told you lately-I THINK YOU'RE SO COOL!!!

    It reminds me of the scene in "True Romance", where Patricia Arquette's husband (Christian Slater), is doing a drug deal and Patricia Arquette is writing on a napkin...

    "You're So Cool"...

    :)

    ~Vegas

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi everyone, I'm so excited.
    My ex-boyfriend is back after a breakup,I’m extremely happy that will are living together again.
    My name is Mary Wilkie from England.
    My boyfriend of a 4yr just broke up with me and am 30 weeks pregnant.I have cried my self to sleep most of the nights and don’t seem to concentrate during lectures sometimes I stay awake almost all night thinking about him and start to cry all over again.Because of this I end up not having energy for my next day’s classes ,my attendance has dropped and am always in uni and on time.Generally he is a very nice guy ,he ended it because he said we were arguing a lot and not getting along.He is right we’ve been arguing during the pregnancy a lot .After the break up I kept ringing him and telling him I will change.I am in love with this guy and he is the best guy I have ever been with.I’m still hurt and in disbelief when he said he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards me anymore that hurt me faster than a lethal syringe.He texts me now and then mainly to check up on how am doing with the pregnancy,he is supportive with it but it’s not fair on me, him texting me as I just want to grieve the pain and not have any stress due to the pregnancy.i was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my bf came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my bf are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Unity. If you have any problem contact Dr.Unity now and i guarantee you that he will help you.Email him at:( Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ),you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: ( +2348071622464 ),His website: http://unityspelltemple.yolasite.com .

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hey, M.E.!!!

    Your Jose Chavez poem, also made me think of this song.:)

    I've seen The Fray in concert, too.:)

    The lead singer was dressed in all black, and it was WAY HOT when he jumped up on his piano, while he was singing!!!

    :)

    YouFoundMe

    :):)

    ~Vegas

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hey, M.E.!!!

    PS-That song has awesome lyrics, too.:)

    PPS-Your "Friend" re-tweet made me smile.:)

    PPPS-2 "signs" today.:)

    :):)

    ~Vegas

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hey, M.E.!!!

    PPPPS-I originally said that I hoped you would do a post on the election, and by the time Mr. Hyde also said so, I knew you'd do something different-this post was perfect!!!

    PPPPPS-My guess is that you voted for Hillary.:)

    This is my favorite post of yours, yet.:)

    :):):)

    ~Vegas

    ReplyDelete

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