Wednesday, July 21, 2010

More sociopath stories

From a reader:
I can be whomever you want to be. Be your best friend. Your most trusted confidante. The girl of your dreams. I will learn discreetly everything that you love or what makes you tick. And from there I will gradually build myself up. Love what you love and hate what you hate. Not too much as to make you feel that I'm patronizing you. But just enough diversity to make you feel that I am normal. That I am the right person. For you.

I will listen to you. To your most boring problems. To issues as mundane or as complicated as the world. And make you feel that I sympathize. I can make you feel like I am the only person you can trust and understand you.

To you I will always be perfect. But to me, you're just one of the many opportunities for me to re-invent myself.

I've lived hundreds of different lives. And I see my past acquaintances, friends and lovers, as one hit wonders.

One day they will interest me so much that I will be constantly thinking about them. Manipulating ways and tricks to reel them in. It never fails. It also helps that I take really good care of myself. I work out excessively everyday. Eat right. Of course I have vices, smoking and drinking. But those vices fall in shadows once I magnetize a person.

I can be the most charming, graceful, articulate woman and turn into a laid-back hippie or country girl, depends on who I'm with.

I have no real identity. Maybe I have. But it's hidden deep down somewhere, where I can't find it anymore. And I don't have any wish to.

Fascinating really, I get my self worth for the fakery I emulate myself into.

I read, study, work, converse with anyone from the most idiotic moron to the most intellectual people, men and women. And I always get away with it.

Problem is, when I get tired of someone. When that person starts failing to stimulate me intellectually and physically. I move on. Disappear without a trace. And I hurt people that way. I know I do, but I feel no guilt. This is how I am, how I operate.

I apologize and say sorry but I never feel sorry.

So when you meet anyone who seems too good to be true. A person of your dreams. Remember what I said here. It could save you a lot of heartaches.

Take it from me, I'm a sociopath.

217 comments:

  1. Haha..narcissisy - get a life!

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  2. Problem is, when I get tired of someone. When that person starts failing to stimulate me intellectually and physically. I move on. Disappear without a trace. And I hurt people that way. I know I do, but I feel no guilt. This is how I am, how I operate.

    I apologize and say sorry but I never feel sorry.


    Ah yes. I know about this. All too well. It is what it is and it's never personal.

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  3. The only way to truly know a sociopath is to date one. And once you do you'll understand them and will be able to recognize them when they hide in plain sight.

    The person described is the typical female sociopath. They usually tell you exactly what you want to hear, and try to make you feel exactly how you want to feel, until they get bored and then it's over. It usually starts really fast, within a few weeks, and it usually burns out fast too, within a few months.So the one hit wonder aspect is also accurate.

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  4. My advice to empath guys, if you know shes a sociopath then you know shes easy. Exploit her body while shes young and move onto the next one, shes only good enough for a one night stand, so have the best night with her possible.

    When you see those guys talk about hoes, sluts, and bitches in those rap videos, thats who they are talking about.And a sociopath woman who does not put out, and who is not useful to you in some way, isn't worth your time.

    Get laid, get paid, or get played.

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  5. Hah. Pot calling the kettle black.

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  6. Sociopathlove, did someone hurt you in the past?

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  7. I don't understand why you wouldn't want to change from operating like that. She sounds so empty. She's just a shell for other peoples fantasies, beyond that she's empty.

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  8. Actually hoes, sluts, and bitches are insecure women who are fuckin to be noticed or broken broads who get put on the tracc. Broads like the one up on this post are playin succaz like yourself. That's why people call you tricks.

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  9. Where the hell are the much more descriptive narratives of the sociopath stream of thought that I was expecting? I am interested in reading something that will more closely mirror the type of thoughts I have that seperate me from the neurotypicals. What is the purpose of a sociopath reading something about his/her personality disorder when it's limited to information that could easily have been obtained by googling the word, "sociopath?"

    This is bullshit, you guys. Where's the good stuff? You know what I'm talking about...let's all email M.E with some personal experiences that are a bit more interesting than this crap.

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  10. Maybe you can tell us more about what brought you here Paloma. How do you think? What makes you tick?

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  11. the reader wrote:
    "Problem is, when I get tired of someone. When that person starts failing to stimulate me intellectually and physically. I move on. Disappear without a trace. And I hurt people that way. I know I do, but I feel no guilt. This is how I am, how I operate."


    why should you feel guilt? if the person only accepts from you the part of them that you reflect back and not the part of you, then of course you'll get bored and drop them eventually. they are being parasites, not you. they are not interested in you, only themselves, or would leave otherwise from th boredom of having their every thought and feeling and need reflected back. it annoys me just to think about it!

    having chameleon skills makes it easy to fit into any social situation. you're lucky. you can choose your outer identity. if you pay close attention and trust all the little feelings, the likes and the dislikes, and acknowledge those to yourself (even if you don't act on them), that's being true to your real self and making it stronger.

    one question i have for you is if you really don't care about your real identity or whether you even have one, then why did you write the above? i mean who is doing the writing? who cares enough if it isn't your real self??

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  12. Anonymous said...
    Haha..narcissisy - get a life!


    precious anonydicks, you gotta love them

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  13. Zoe: "why should you feel guilt? if the person only accepts from you the part of them that you reflect back and not the part of you, then of course you'll get bored and drop them eventually. they are being parasites, not you. they are not interested in you, only themselves, or would leave otherwise from th boredom of having their every thought and feeling and need reflected back. it annoys me just to think about it! "

    This sounds narcissistic. Can you explain how it's not?

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  14. I am interested in reading something that will more closely mirror the type of thoughts I have that seperate me from the neurotypicals.

    Why would you need to know, if you already are one? Not meant to be rhetorical; I'm genuinely curious.

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  15. Zoe, I think you're misunderstanding the author. When she says she reflects their needs, I'm sure she means all of their needs, including the need to be challenged etc. If done properly there would be no boredom for anyone but the actor.

    Good point about her writing it, though. There's obviously a "true self" in there somewhere, and anyone who denies that is only fooling themselves.

    If you ask them why they do anything, whether it's manipulating or writing something like this, it'll always boil down to some manner of "I want," which necessarily implies a preference, which necessarily implies a self.

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  16. "why should you feel guilt? if the person only accepts from you the part of them that you reflect back and not the part of you, then of course you'll get bored and drop them eventually. they are being parasites, not you. they are not interested in you, only themselves, or would leave otherwise from th boredom of having their every thought and feeling and need reflected back. it annoys me just to think about it! "

    This makes no sense at all.

    1. How can a person accept more than the part of you you reflect back to them, if that is all you are giving them? Since when do sociopaths get bored because the other person is not interested "the part of you," whatever that means

    2. Only interested in themselves? Huh? Who? The empath? What? And if you are becoming the person they've always wanted, how are they the parasites? Why would they get bored?

    I'm guessing you are trying to say something about narcissism somewhere in there, but it's kind of not relevant and projectory [sic].

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  17. 2 said...
    This sounds narcissistic. Can you explain how it's not?


    being chameleon is like a reflex to some people, to me. it's automatic, like breathing. so you're instantly taking on the other person's preferences and traits at the expense of your own. it can get boring after a while being with the other person because you never get to be yourself. they like seeing themselves too much. i don't sympathize with such people. to me, they are the narcissists.

    i've had people tell me i wasn't being myself when i tried being myself. they wanted the act, to see themselves only. so they get the act for a while, and when the act is done, i'm gone. and the only reason they got the act in the first place is there was no other way to connect and i used to feel compelled to connect with everyone i crossed paths with...icky.

    is that narcissistic?

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  18. ...zoe learned not to do that any more. :)

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  19. one question i have for you is if you really don't care about your real identity or whether you even have one, then why did you write the above? i mean who is doing the writing? who cares enough if it isn't your real self??

    I was gonna ask something along these lines as well, but didn't because I assumed I'd get no response.

    But yeah, who are you between identities? Why bother with the warning at the end if you don't give a crap? Unless you just like to hear yourself speak, so to speak? Unless you need the "awe" of others to feel like you exist? Unless the only way you can feel like you exist is to explain to us that you really don't?

    You are beholden to everyone else. Your game depends on the empath game. Can't say that the vice versa is true, at least not to the same extent. There is no winners here, so no sense in the pompous attitude.

    [I just giggled at the orange "Choose and identity" option header above the comment form]

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  20. Zoe, I think you're misunderstanding the author. When she says she reflects their needs, I'm sure she means all of their needs, including the need to be challenged etc. If done properly there would be no boredom for anyone but the actor.

    i may have. i'm half awake and not sure i'm following you, and my new boss is a dick. but i quit my job so all is good, so back to your point. she is the actor, chameleon, reflecting the needs of others, and it's fucking boring. :)

    how's that? :(

    'night

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  21. Zoe, not all narcissism is bad. In fact, some is necessary if anyone has a desire to survive.

    I'll admit to being attracted to clones of myself. Maybe it's my way of justifying my own existence. Or maybe it's just difficult to have a relationship with anyone if you DON'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. Which requires having something in common.

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  22. Wait Zoe, you just called yourself boring?

    Where's your brain today, dear?

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  23. oh hey Medusa i said chameleon not sociopath. forget the empath/sociopath thing for a second. with some people the only relationship you can have is to play to them. the connection is all about their needs and preferences and values. they will reject or deny anything else coming from you.

    so am i preying on the other person by becoming everything they want me to be or are they preying on me by cuing me as to how to accommodate them and rejecting anything coming form me that doesn't? the exchanges can be subtle.

    anyway in my own personal universe, such as it is, i consider these people to be narcissists.

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  24. Medusa said...
    Wait Zoe, you just called yourself boring?

    Where's your brain today, dear?


    did i? i just hate it when i bore myself like that. i'm experimenting with a zen approach to living. no thinking. it's hard to think when you're not thinking. and you walk into things.

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  25. so am i preying on the other person by becoming everything they want me to be or are they preying on me by cuing me as to how to accommodate them and rejecting anything coming form me that doesn't? the exchanges can be subtle.

    Very good question. I struggle with this a lot and I'm not so sure that there is an answer.

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  26. We all do that's why we people get fucked over.

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  27. Zoe, I think I know what happened there. It's confusing as Hell, but allow me to attempt to explain:

    You thought the author was a narcissist.

    Ergo, you took on the role of the author, because you are a chameleon. However, I don't think the author is a narcissist. Narcissists are not as flexible as this author portrayed herself to be.

    Also, Medusa, I don't believe Zoe was calling herself boring. Rather, she was calling the identity that she thought the author to be boring.

    . . . Is this all confusing? It seemed confusing to me.

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  28. Zoe said:

    she is the actor, chameleon, reflecting the needs of others, and it's fucking boring.

    and:

    being chameleon is like a reflex to some people, to me.

    Hence by transitive property...

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  29. It seems like the lot of you are over-analyzing Zoe's statement. From what I gather, what she meant was that it is simply boring to have to constantly accommodate to others' needs while at the same time ignoring one's own; to be oneself (if there is one). If all that's required to remain friends with certain people is to be more like them, then that would make them narcissistic for essentially enjoying their own company (correct me if I'm wrong).

    It's something I can relate to, anyway, and as Zoe has already said, it's not exclusive to sociopaths; everyone has done this at some point.

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  30. Goddamn it's you people who are over-analyzing a lighthearted comment.

    Sheesh.

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  31. Why so defensive, Medusa? That wasn't meant to be an attack. Relax.

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  32. One day your exposure will come and blow away the facade of who you are parasite, for and sundry to see the empty vessel that you are and no one will shed a tear

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  33. @flyonthewall

    Emotion has nothing to do with it. If they are a sociopath they cannot love, so why pretend like they can? They can have sex however, so why not have a fun time with them? It's just entertainment and nothing personal.

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  34. @Locc

    Why defend sexpots like that sociopathic broad? Either she puts out or shes not going to amuse me. There is no point in pretending like I can form deep meaningful relationships with women like that, and no point in you protecting women like that. She's only good for sex and not much else. What I'm saying is shes the ideal sex object that I fantasize about and it's because she cannot love.

    What more can you expect from me?

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  35. @Zoe when approached with illusion, illusion is reflected back. That is because I think deep down I have chameleon tendencies myself. And you make a very good point, that is exactly how we connect and it's called building rapport in NLP.

    Lets be honest, sex is the easiest point of connection. It works on sociopath and neurotypical alike.The connection through sex is shallow and very temporary, but it's also very honest and it's fun. If the goal is amusement then what else matters in your interactions with other people? It's all about amusing yourselves isnt it?

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  36. I think I'm a chameleon, wow that was a very insightful post Zoe. I learned something about why I do what I do.

    In a way everybody is wearing a mask and nobody really gets to know anyone else because of it. We all try to become perfect in the eyes of the person we want to win over. This is part of being a chameleon but also it's about becoming whatever necessary for the situation and this is flexibility. I don't think that innocent people need to get hurt, but I realize it's natural to be that way and I think the reason why people are that way is because nobody truly accepts anybody else. It's not just that sociopaths are afraid their true self wont be accepted by empaths, it's everybody being afraid they wont be accepted by everybody else which causes us to create elaborate ornate often beautiful masks, beautiful in the complexity of the layers.

    Looks like I can connected with Zoe. Zoe you be whoever you have to be to survive in the world.It does not get any easier.

    As for the author's comment, she is a sexpot. Anybody who thinks otherwise is delusional.Shes not going to love you, she wants something from you, and unless yuo want something from her whether it be sex or something else, you'd be wasting your time and money on her. That's cold hard logic, deal with it.

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  37. Out of curiosity Sociopathlove, why is your name sociopathlove, when you say they can't love? I have resentment against sociopaths for personal reasons, would you call what you feel resentment, because your messages sound resentful against women or sociopaths. Maybe both. Not a judgement by the way just a observation that maybe right or wrong.

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  38. Sociopathlove's name might be gay, but his viewpoint is very rational. You can't count on the woman to give you much more than sex, so why bother? If you're feeling horny, then fuck the shit out of her, and leave all of your emotional baggage at the door. That doesn't seem very resentful toward anyone IMO.

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  39. @Clarissa there is no resentment at all. Some people in your life exist for amusement, to have fun with, as they are not responsible for anything more serious than that. Other people exist in your life for different reasons. The sociopathic woman in the article exists to be the stripper, to have sex with or have fun with, to play games with, and not much else.

    I don't feel anything toward her. She's just a muse, until I get bored with her and then shes useless to me.I'm guessing you are the usual empath female who empathizes with everybody whether they deserve your empathy or not, but thats not how I roll honey. I love the sociopath the way the sociopath loves me.

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  40. Well, sometimes it takes a harrowing experience, a stoic strength and a heroic amount of honesty with oneself to be unblinded enough to actually spot them before it's too late, as they don't usually send you an email like the OP. Not an easy adjustment for an empath.

    A rite of passage almost.

    Most of the time the "victims" never get past the lovefraud stage, or the moral indignation.

    But at the same time, you've got these socios coming on here whining because they want their empathy, too..."what about US? We are people, too!"

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  41. So you go around specifically looking for sociopaths to have sex with? For the record I didnt say "How you roll", you are being defensive.
    How did the sociopath in your life love you? Im here to learn so please stop being defensive about my questions. Theres no need for bravado when it comes to lil ol me.

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  42. People are seeing defensiveness here where there is none.

    Clairissa, to put it simply: socios don't love, so no point in wasting your love on them. Equal exchange. Use the user, otherwise stay away. That way there is no love lost, no skin off of anyone's back.

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  43. Clarissa Medusa has it right. I suggest you listen to her as you might receive the education you are asking for.

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  44. Medusa said: "Clairissa, to put it simply: socios don't love, so no point in wasting your love on them. Equal exchange. Use the user, otherwise stay away. That way there is no love lost, no skin off of anyone's back."

    If I only knew.

    That sounds like playing games though. I may be oversimplifying that but that's just it. I can play games in my professional life because that's the reality of it and I don't look for the same thing in that environment. But with personal relationships it's different. I have a habit of thinking...he will treat me different than the rest and I can be myself...the truth is that I was never that important to my ex. Now it’s about how important I am to myself and it’s much safer this way and more satisfying. It’s too bad I had to have that horrible experience to realize how foolish I was with him. Now I understand why he lost interest in me. That part of it had very little to do with me though.

    Grace

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  45. Right there with you, girlfriend.

    That's why we're here.

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  46. Medusa I didn't ask you, and that's not the question I asked.

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  47. "So you go around specifically looking for sociopaths to have sex with?"

    Not every sociopath female is built for that. It depends on whether or not shes physically qualified, it depends on whether her body is for sale and for how much, it depends on a lot of factors. The point is if shes offering sex, and I want what shes offering, why not sample her? If she really is good at what she does I'll even tell my friends.


    "For the record I didnt say "How you roll, you are being defensive"

    IF anyone is being defensive it's you. You are the one who questions me about why I'd dare have sex with sociopaths like the female in the article, Why is it even necessary to ask that question? The answer to that should be obvious.

    .
    "How did the sociopath in your life love you?"
    Irrelevant.

    "Im here to learn so please stop being defensive about my questions."

    Are you a psychiatrist? What are you trying to learn in specific?

    "Theres no need for bravado when it comes to lil ol me."

    You clearly are not little. You merely want me to think you are.

    Are you the woman who wrote the article Clairissa? Please don't be insulted, anything I said is not to be taken personally, but if you are her then you must know that interaction with you will be for entertainment purposes only, unless there is something more valuable you can offer.

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  48. I'm not the one who wrote the article. I've commented before this article and I think I've made it clear where I stand.
    You made the comments, and I'm asking you to clarify. Clearly you are the one with something to hide not me. At least I'm honest with "How I Roll", kid.
    You sleep with prostitutes? Well at least your honest about one thing. Who would lie about that. What happened to being a player? Sounds like youre a payer to me.
    The sociopath in your love life is irrelevant? Well, I'm not going to touch on that. It sounds like a sensitive topic, and reguardless of what you think of my questions I'm not here to mess with peoples emotions.
    This woman in the article is sick, and its a woman like that who has made you sick.

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  49. Clairissa why are you being so judgemental of me?

    1. I never claimed to be a player
    2. I don't believe prostitution is wrong.
    3.I never claimed to have a sociopath in my life.

    So what you are saying is, unless somebody thinks and feels exactly the way you do, that they are sick? You are judging me as a person based upon what? What exactly makes me sick?

    What I think you are doing is projecting. You are projecting your anger and resentment of the sociopath you were involved with onto me. You project this anger because you don't know how else to direct or control your emotional responses. This makes you a continual victim to the sociopath who victimized you, as well as making you a victim to the next sociopath who will see you as wounded prey and use you.

    Why will the next sociopath see you as wounded prey? You appear to have learned nothing from being used. It's like you got your blood sucked by a vampire, your blood being your empathy, and you'll just go to the next vampire and give up the empathy for free. How is this any different than the sociopath woman who gives up sex easily? It's no different. The sociopath enjoys having sex so she gives sex to all, you enjoy feeling empathy so you give empathy to all.Logically speaking you are just as sick as the sociopath in the article because you have an emotionally addictive behavior.

    Where you and I are different is I only give empathy to individuals who can give it back, or who can give something valuable to me in return for it. This means I'm emotionally selfish, emotionally greedy, not sick.Any sociopath woman who you think I've had relations with in the past, isn't important enough to mention. I just don't care. I don't care if shes alive or dead, or what she does after I'm done with her.

    This is the part that you don't understand. You believe I'm supposed to care what happens to the precious sociopath. You believe I'm supposed to make a deep emotional investment because thats what you did, and this is why you can't get over your past. You cannot forget the horror, the feeling of betrayal, the disgust, or resentment of having invested so much time, emotional effort, into a person who used you, exploited you, played you.

    And if you continue thinking the way you do about this, it can happen again. And if it happens again then you think back to what you said to me, calling me sick and remember every word I said to you.You can know that I tried to give you a warning.

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  50. You know it's funny.Clairissa described sociopathy as if it's a virus. This is why I used the vampire analogy. The sociopath bites into the neck and sucks the blood from the empath. According to Clairissas intricate theory of the geometric pattern of human psychology, the bite of the sociopath infects the blood of the empath, polluting the blood and making the empath forever sick with the disease of sociopathy.

    A more simple explanation and more accurate in my opinion would come from looking at nature. If bitten by a mosquito you aren't necessarily infected by the mosquito that bit you. It does not change the fact that mosquito bites are irritating and that you'd rather not be bitten again, so you decide to protect your blood. You use your brain power to wear perfumes or scents that mosquitoes don't like, and when they adapt to the different scents if they ever do, then you have dozens of other traps, like a light which attracts mosquitoes away from you. You will see any animal in any environment adapt to predators and parasites, that comes from the survival instinct and you don't have to read twilight to look at nature and learn how to survive.

    The way not to survive in nature is to be the wounded animal that walks with a limp because some other predatory animal attacked it. Guess what happens? The other predatory animals have heightened awareness and prefer to stalk wounded prey because it's just easier, requires less effort.

    It's really that simple.

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  51. That is some seriously artful writing, sociopathlove. Right up there with the featured comment.

    Clairissa, he speaks the truth. He's trying to help you understand, not attack you. Think on it for a while. Give up the desire to rehabilitate or fix the sociopath, s/he does not want to be fixed, and does not want to be an empath like you. They are fine with the way they are.

    It's just the way it is, for good or bad. Accept it or be burned again. Take the sociopath at face value; and if you can't do that, run away.

    When (and if) what sociopathlove is saying ever makes sense to you, it will be very difficult for anyone to pull one over on you ever again.

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  52. I should also add that this holds true for everyone, not just sociopaths.

    Take people at face value. If you try to fix someone who does not want to be fixed, or doesn't believe that they need fixing, all you are doing is looking in the mirror and jerking off.

    And really, who's to say who needs fixing anyway? "Broken" is a subjective concept when it comes to people.

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  53. Sociopathlove reminds me of a Ukan without the whole insecurity and need to berate people.

    Ukan, are you trying to pull one over on us? :(

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  54. where's the fun in keeping the same handle/identity unless to pander to your own sense of self or ego?

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  55. "where's the fun in keeping the same handle/identity unless to pander to your own sense of self or ego?"

    Because it's unnecessary to take on another identity unless you've been verbally barraged off the site.

    (see: The Daft Capt Wearer)

    I kinda figure he still lurks, though. Perhaps you're him?

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  56. No I'm not UKan or "no one", but I do have another name I use on this site.

    It's not like I'm hiding, I have a screen name. I had to respond because I don't want somebody else to post claiming they are me.

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  57. You don't need to tell me what your about, you already wear your emotions on your comments. The empathetic don't see it, but I do. We've had this conversation before in different handles. Don't you remember? Don't worry your secrets safe with me.
    2 if you're going to keep sitting on the sidelines shotgunning guesses make sure you don't sound like the fool. You were wrong about everyone.

    UKan B Revealed

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  58. You are right about stalking wounded prey by the way. That's what I do here. Maybe you should take your advice.

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  59. Man, you must be one bored motherfucker.

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  60. UKan B.A. MirrorJuly 25, 2010 at 3:57 AM

    Only when I'm forced to scroll past your pathetic comments. How does it feel medusa when you get bitten by your own snakes?

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  61. Hah, yeah I'm real hurt. I'm crying in my soup over here.

    You have a serious logic fail. Makes no difference to me who's real and who's fake. Either way, it's still some random-ass motherfucker on the internet.

    Nice try, though.

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  62. UKan B ApatheticJuly 25, 2010 at 7:01 AM

    I haven't tried yet with you Medusa. You're too insignificant.

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  63. confusedbutawareJuly 25, 2010 at 7:54 AM

    This is going to be long but I want the truth--yes, the truth no matter how brutal from the Sociopaths here. I met a guy who runs a non-profit last year. We both had cancer at one point and we connected by way of that. He and I talked on the phone and eventually met at a conference. The first time we met we talked and he was awesome. Very polite and charming. We said our goodbyes and that was it. We continued to talk on the phone and met again at another conference. We ended up sleeping together for the weekend. We live in different states. We talk several times a day and have seen each other at least once a month since we first met last year. He is separated from his wife (who lives in another state away from here) because she is in rehab-treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder. He says he cannot divorce her because she will attempt suicide and he wants her to be more stable before they make those decisions. He has seen her 1 time since last December. We have been very close however, all of a sudden he refuses to have sex. He says when he becomes very close to someone, he can't have sex with them anymore. He says he loves me very much and he does not want to hurt me so he wont' have sex any longer. So, we continue to see each other and hang out but he does not even kiss me or hold my hand or show much affection. He says he has sociopathic tendencies and cannot feel connections to people except to three people. His mom, his wife and me. He says I am his best friend and he will never let me go. He also admits that he maintains relationships with certain people because he as a "reason" for doing so. He fully admits to using people for a purpose, excluding me. He does not have a job and lies on his form to receive his unemployment checks. He is trying to start a new career and needed equipment to do so. He did not have the money so he asked me to buy the equipment for him. I did and he says he cannot thank me enough for believing in him. He needs additional equipment and asked me if I could buy it for him and he would make it up to me somehow. Since, he yelled at me telling me I didn't really care about him. He was about to be evicted and pointed out that what he needs to live on for a year I make in a week. He accused me of caring about anonymous people I give to charity and I am letting him drown. (He is correct about that. I am wealthy but very conservative with wealth/investments and that is why I have what I have)He also told me he will not date me because he could end up going back to his wife and he does not want to hurt me. Also, he does not want to hurt his wife so he dates no one. I believe he has some anonymous "sport f*ck on the side but he insists I am the last woman he had sex with. He said he can go long periods of time without sex because he is too focused on trying to start a career and solve his life problems. He says it has nothing to do with me. Once, I caught him lying and I told him to get lost. He went to great lengths to get me back in his life. He begged, called all night and sent tons of emails until I would agree to speak with him. He told me how much he loves me and that I am the best friend he has ever had and he would be devastated if he ever lost me. However, he freely admits he does not feel much. He cares about very few people but the ones he does care about he would go to the ends of the earth to protect. He says I am the one that keeps him sane. I am his "normalcy" and he needs me in his life. Sociopath? Yeah. But can he have a few close people he actually cares about and really have a connection to? Also, if he is a sociopath, why he is admitting to me he uses people, feels very little and could not give a crap what most people? He makes no secret of his lack of caring about people and that they mean nothing to him except for what he can get out of them. EXCEPT, me, his wife and his mom. I know I rambled but there is alot to the story---more than I posted here. Response?

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  64. You really believe this loser? You're a muppet.

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  65. confusedbutawareJuly 25, 2010 at 8:16 AM

    UKAN---ROFL- I actually laughed out loud when I read your post. Yeah, I am a Muppet. :-) However, I would like a bit more insight. He sounds like he is telling the truth. He said our friendship is based on only friendship. He says if I never did one more thing for him I would see that nothing would change. He would be exactly the same with me. LOL. I actually do believe him. Hopeless, I know.

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  66. Ukan: "2 if you're going to keep sitting on the sidelines shotgunning guesses make sure you don't sound like the fool. You were wrong about everyone."

    Ukan, please get a life. Your behavior on this site shows that you seriously lack anything else to do.

    Trust me, dolly, I know people just like you.

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  67. to above,

    I have been through a similar situation with a sociopath. Our relationship ended just after I lent him money and I have yet to be paid back. After our relationship ended I asked him some open-ended questions about himself and he admitted he was miserable with his life and he has hurt people...he’s also had a violent past..bla bla. Why does he treat you different..what is it about you that makes him feel safer with you... your money maybe or perhaps the cancer? In any case if you are ok with the relationship the way it is then just accept him for what he is. But, I bet there is more there so just beware and don't expect much. If he says nothing will change if you don't help him out anymore then test that and you will see for yourself. It is possible he just wants to be friends, I guess. These are just some questions you can ask yourself to help get clarity. I should have done the same..silly me.

    Grace

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  68. Stab him in the eye. If he calls the cops, then he is a sociopath, and you can pat yourself on the back. If he doesn't, then just say sorry, and everything will be OK.

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  69. Ukan: I haven't been paying much attention to the comments on this blog until recently. Today I went back and read some older threads and a couple of things stick out to me:

    1. You are pretty smart, I'll give you that.

    2. You enjoy attention, clearly. And here I am, giving it to you. It's fun.

    3. You seem to have something to prove all the time? Otherwise why bother? Isn't trying to convert people to your way of thinking kind of shooting yourself in the foot?

    4. You suck at proving whatever it is you are trying to prove. Your points are usually valid, but the way you present them is interesting. You are constantly trying to convince empaths of this and that, but you don't seem to understand that in order to do so, you need to learn to speak their language. This is what a good sociopath would do when trying to convince someone of something. Otherwise you are just jerking off, attacking. Which is fine, but I think you can do better than that.

    5. In conclusion, I'm not convinced you are a sociopath. I don't know if you ever claimed to be; just saying. If you are, you are a low-level one.

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  70. confusedbutaware: You is being played. I bet the dude helped his wife go crazy. Also, he doesn't sound awfully self-aware; only somewhat.

    Your choice whether you want to play along or not.

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  71. Peter Pan, LMAO!!


    Grace

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  72. Or he is very self-aware, and is only giving you tidbits of who he really is to cover his ass.

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  73. Thanks for the great advice Peter Pan. :-) LOL.

    Medusa, Thank you for your comments as well. Reading other's points of view gives me clarity and validation to what I kind of already know. It just helps to see it in black and white.

    Anonymous, I am going to try your "test" idea and see what happens. The thing is...the fact I even do this shows I don't trust the situation. Normal relationships do no require this type of "test". sigh. :-)

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  74. I agree. If your gut is telling you something then go with that.

    Grace

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  75. confusedbutaware:

    Your man sounds just like a dude I was involved with. Twice. Except I never gave him any money. He claimed his ex had NPD and was crazy. I believed him at first, and then I didn't. I ended up writing to said ex asking her wtf was up with this guy, and then I told him about it. He got really mad, and now the ex and I are are good buddies and he's knows all about it. I don't think he's too happy right now.

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  76. "We both had cancer at one point and we connected by way of that. "

    Maybe that's not the best way to meet a new person.

    "He says he cannot divorce her because she will attempt suicide and he wants her to be more stable before they make those decisions."

    Hes probably not a sociopath. Why shouldn't he just divorce her? I know what I'd do.

    "He says he has sociopathic tendencies and cannot feel connections to people except to three people. "

    He's probably not a sociopath if hes telling you this.

    "He also admits that he maintains relationships with certain people because he as a reason for doing so."

    So what? You don't do that?

    "He cares about very few people but the ones he does care about he would go to the ends of the earth to protect. "

    Hes not a sociopath. He's probably a narcissist. Nothing you mention about him in your post seems sociopathic. In fact he seems very ordinary. Most people have only a few people they are close to. Most people only help people they know. Most people have people in their lives for specific reasons. Look up narcissism, I think that would fit him better. The fact that he wouldn't divorce his wife, in the situation where I'm threatened with suicide I'd dump the person. Not everybody is as nice as he is, and I don't think being a sociopath has much to do with this.


    Is this the trend here? Women posting about their ex bfs asking whether or not they are sociopaths? If the man can feel empathy for anybody in his life hes not a sociopath. He need not feel empathy toward the anonymous masses, and honestly I don't think you need to either, but its your choice and if you are wealthy I guess you have the liberty to do that.Just don't expect him to be like that if hes not wealthy.

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  77. I said it before and I'll say it again. There is only one person here who I know for certain is a sociopath. That person is Daniel Birdick.

    For some odd reason this place has become a "find the sociopath" type of environment. Just be yourselves.
    If people want to think you are a sociopath then let them think that and take advantage of it, and if people want to think you are an empath let them think that and take advantage of that.

    Very few people want anything real from you to begin with.

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  78. "I agree. If your gut is telling you something then go with that."

    Ugh. I do not advocate this kind of thinking.

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  79. I'd agree with you that this dude is a narcissist.

    I don't think my ex is a sociopath, haven't thought so for a while now. He's just a mildly self-aware narcissist.

    It can be confusing at first because narcissism encompasses some sociopathic traits, and it can be hard to tell the difference if you haven't done your research, or if you are inside the situation.

    But narcissists don't feel empathy, either. They generally convince themselves that they do, though...

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  80. For some odd reason this place has become a "find the sociopath" type of environment. Just be yourselves.
    If people want to think you are a sociopath then let them think that and take advantage of it, and if people want to think you are an empath let them think that and take advantage of that.


    I also don't see why it matters whether anyone here is a sociopath or empath unless as a way to invalidate someone's arguments based on their particular denomination, which never really works either way. If an argument is truly logical and sound, it's irrelevant who's making it.

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  81. Medusa it's complicated. I wont go so far as to say Narcissists don't feel any empathy, or at least I wont go so far as to say this guy used as her example does not feel any. If she wants to know theres only one way for her to find out what he feels.

    There is an easy way to reach a conclusion on any man. Ask his mom of he feels empathy or not, she would know. Whether he feels it for anybody else does not matter, but if a man feels empathy for his mother hes not a sociopath.

    There you go lady, there is the best advice you'll ever need for finding out whos what.

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  82. I don't understand how you do this to yourselves and then turn around and blame sociopaths for exploiting you.
    Confused: You're a good person, right? Why are you trying to steal someones man to begin with? Do you think someone who cheats on his wife will have respect for you? He slept with you (bait), he stopped sleeping with you (hook), he asked you for things (line).
    The entire story is a red flag. Everything he said sounds like bullshit. The reason he gave you for not having sex is a lie. What he claims his marital status is, also a lie. His new found respect of the sancitity of marriage, is a lie.
    Him telling you he's a sociopath, is a honesty gift. Its a manipulation tactic where you do a overtly honest act for someone in order to smoke screen them for further manipulation. Its working because you are stuck on that action in your head right now.
    Him telling you your the only one who can......., is his way of making you feel unique and special. The more you feel that way the worse you will end up in the end of this game. If he wasn't showing signs of using you, then there would be no problem with it. Since he is you need to stay away from it. If he is a sociopath then his way of making feel unique will destroy other relationships later. It will be hard to get that special feeling back. It will be hard to trust again.
    His admittance to using people puts you in a place of being on the inside. Again if he wasn't nefarious it wouldn't be a bad thing, however, he is so let's talk about it. He's making it so you feel like he only fucks off the world outside you. If that was the case when he wouldn't be asking for money.
    He claims he's loyal to his wife. If you are loyal you don't sleep with anyone else. If you ever cheated you wouldn't maintain contact with the person you slept with, if you claim you are trying to turn over a new leaf.
    Your not the only one in his life, and your not up there with his wife and mother either. His mother gave him life, he married his wife; he won't even sleep with you a second time.
    He can go long periods without having sex, but cheats on his wife? Come on.
    Unless you are willing to commit a violent act or you're a bank never loan someone money.
    Him not having sex with you is weird. It sounds like a way of keeping control over you. It also sounds like its working.
    Confused you are so much of a sucker I almost wonder if you are making this up. If your not then you need to wake up. When this guy takes advantage of you and you are in the lowest point of your emotional life I want you to come on here and get verbally abused for being such a knob.

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  83. I'm not convinced that anyone here is a true sociopath.

    But I do like this sentiment:

    If people want to think you are a sociopath then let them think that and take advantage of it, and if people want to think you are an empath let them think that and take advantage of that.

    Very few people want anything real from you to begin with.


    and this:

    I also don't see why it matters whether anyone here is a sociopath or empath unless as a way to invalidate someone's arguments based on their particular denomination, which never really works either way. If an argument is truly logical and sound, it's irrelevant who's making it.

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  84. I don't understand how you do this to yourselves and then turn around and blame sociopaths for exploiting you.
    Confused: You're a good person, right? Why are you trying to steal someones man to begin with? Do you think someone who cheats on his wife will have respect for you? He slept with you (bait), he stopped sleeping with you (hook), he asked you for things (line).
    The entire story is a red flag. Everything he said sounds like bullshit. The reason he gave you for not having sex is a lie. What he claims his marital status is, also a lie. His new found respect of the sancitity of marriage, is a lie.
    Him telling you he's a sociopath, is a honesty gift. Its a manipulation tactic where you do a overtly honest act for someone in order to smoke screen them for further manipulation. Its working because you are stuck on that action in your head right now.
    Him telling you your the only one who can......., is his way of making you feel unique and special. The more you feel that way the worse you will end up in the end of this game. If he wasn't showing signs of using you, then there would be no problem with it. Since he is you need to stay away from it. If he is a sociopath then his way of making feel unique will destroy other relationships later. It will be hard to get that special feeling back. It will be hard to trust again.
    His admittance to using people puts you in a place of being on the inside. Again if he wasn't nefarious it wouldn't be a bad thing, however, he is so let's talk about it. He's making it so you feel like he only fucks off the world outside you. If that was the case when he wouldn't be asking for money.
    He claims he's loyal to his wife. If you are loyal you don't sleep with anyone else. If you ever cheated you wouldn't maintain contact with the person you slept with, if you claim you are trying to turn over a new leaf.
    Your not the only one in his life, and your not up there with his wife and mother either. His mother gave him life, he married his wife; he won't even sleep with you a second time.
    He can go long periods without having sex, but cheats on his wife? Come on.
    Unless you are willing to commit a violent act or you're a bank never loan someone money.
    Him not having sex with you is weird. It sounds like a way of keeping control over you. It also sounds like its working.
    Confused you are so much of a sucker I almost wonder if you are making this up. If your not then you need to wake up. When this guy takes advantage of you and you are in the lowest point of your emotional life I want you to come on here and get verbally abused for being such a knob.

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  85. Sorry for the double post mates.

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  86. what makes one empath more boring, if they are slightly unsure of your true nature, unconvinced? theyre bored if they cant show their true nature, how exhausting.

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  87. 1337: Ugh. I do not advocate this kind of thinking

    I don't alawys either but I think it's obvious to her just by her lack of trust in the situation and we are confirming it to her...not that he's a sociopath but that he's full of crap.


    But yes I agree it's not always smart to go by your insticts.

    Grace

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  88. At this point I no longer care who is a sociopath or who is not. I barely even believe sociopathy exists; it's just word of convenience. There is just smart people and dumb people. And my definition of smart and dumb is probably different than what you might assume.

    Frankly I couldn't give a crap what anyone here thinks of my true nature, I only write and respond for selfish reasons.

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  89. Medusa,

    Your right it is for selfish reasons.
    I have cried with what people have said to me here...especially from what Daniel Birdick has said..he tried to be nice at times. But it has also set me straight so I take what I need to continue remembering what has happened to me. It has worked so far and I see where I was responsible for my own actions and setting myself up for pain. It's not ok to be stupid.
    That's just my experience though.

    I never came on here asking if my ex was a sociopath because I already knew it. I needed help with processing the fact that he is one. And I got it.

    Grace

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  90. confusedbutawareJuly 25, 2010 at 2:29 PM

    UKAN---Actually, I am NOT making this up and I am not trying to steal this guy. He lives clear across the country from his wife and they have been separated for over 2 years. She was dating others and he was dating others. Then, she had a relapse and attempted suicide. He said it "woke him up" and he knew he needed to wait to divorce her until she could stand on her own, not add to her pain and her fear of abandonment. They have not lived in the same state for over 2 years.

    Anyway, my self esteem was pretty low but I am getting stronger every day and becoming more resolute about who he is. I just always want to believe the best of people. He has very intense emotions about his mother and is scared to death she will die soon. He has cried on the phone talking about it.

    I may be a "knob" but I have a huge heart and I would rather have that quality than no feelings at all. At the end of the day, it is all just really about nothing. :-) I have had breast cancer twice and beat it so this is really low on the scale in the big scheme of things when I really evaluate it. I do appreciate the honest feedback though. I said I wanted honesty and y'all are serving it up in spades!!! :-)

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  91. You don't need to justify your actions here. Stealing or not just know what the real deal is especially with your money. You don't want to be hurting while he's enjoying YOUR new equipment.

    Grace

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  92. confusedbutawareJuly 25, 2010 at 2:46 PM

    I do wonder at my age (43) what makes me so willing to believe what people say. I guess until I have clear proof I tend to believe people. Ya know, innocent until proven guilty? The story COULD be true but I wish I was more street smart. Sad I have to come on here and even though I read your posts, I still think he is telling me the truth about his situation. I am frickin' hopeless I guess. Sigh. UKAN, guess the verbal beatings can begin now on the site. Let's get it over with. ROFL. :-)

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  93. Where did you get all this information about his wife? Out of his mouth?
    Fuck your big heart. Fuck your insecurities. Fuck your cancer. These are opportunities for him, and that's it.
    If he's done with his wife he'd divorce her. I'm positive after what you said that the seperation was her choice. A borerline and a sociopath together? They wouldn't make it to marriage.
    You are a knob. Whatever time you have left before you die is being wasted on being a idiot. You don't need honesty you need common sense. How do you people live at all?

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  94. confusedbutawareJuly 25, 2010 at 2:55 PM

    Hey Grace---Yeah, he almost convinced me to purchase a condo for him to "rent" from me since he is running out of money and is "terrified" he will be on the street. I told him that if I bought one and he started dating someone or his wife came for a visit sometime that would be hurtful. He told me not to buy it unless I could buy it "as a friend". I decided not to buy anything. He is also about to be kicked off his COBRA health insurance. He asked me to bring him on as an employee so he could have health insurance. I have not done this either and won't--- That is what State Health Insurance is for. I sound a bit cold huh? I also told him to go back on his wife's insurance until he could find his own. He said he would not do that to her because it would give her false hope that they were getting back together. I am telling you, this story is f'd up but I swear I am living it and believing it. As I read it all, I am laughing out loud at the absurdity of how it sounds but I am NOT kidding. This has been my reality for the last 10 months. Lord.

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  95. confusedbutawareJuly 25, 2010 at 3:00 PM

    UKAN--Yep, he told me all of this. UKAN, I don't even care you are calling me a knob because you are probably right. :-) I don't feel offended in the least. Why? Because I USED to have common sense but somewhere I lost it. I know that. I will expel him from my life as soon as I figure out how to. When I ignore him he gets NUTS. He calls non-stop and sends messages and freaks out if I don't return his calls. He says he is worried about me and is scared to death I will die. Oh well, I will figure it out. How do I get him out of my life BTW? Any suggestions?

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  96. He's worried about giving his wife false hope? What crap! It's getting more obvious what he's up to. Do not buy anything for him anymore..not even a fuckin candy bar! Just let him be and slowly work your way out of it. When you respond to his emails or calls keep it simple. Tell him your fine even if your not and that he has no reason to worry.. he probably really isn't anyway. Be careful...you don't want to let this, STRESS, get in the way of your health.

    Grace

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  97. I was talking with a associate of mine at the club one time and this guy came up and asked me for a smoke. I completely ignored him. He looked mad and walked off.
    When my girl gets hit on she doesn't even acknowledge the person exists. She completely ignores him. They walk off.
    I live in a city where people always try to con you or get something from you as you walk down the street. I know the drill. I completely ignore them. They move on looking for a victim.
    I broke up with a girl and she didn't want to accept it. I completely ignored her. She stopped harrassing me eventually.

    You are at a club and get asked for a smoke. You give him one. Another person sees that and asks you for another. Another person sees those two and you buy him a drink. Your surrounded by losers.
    You get hit on by a scum bag and you humor him to be polite. He charms you and off you go. Before you know it you made a mistake. You were nice and he flattered your low self esteem. Your boyfriend breaks up with you.
    You walk in the city and you stop for everyone who needs help. You get robbed and raped in a alley way because they saw you coming.
    You break up with someone and take them back over and over because you picked up your phone and listened to those concerned words filled with compassion. The game continues.
    At your age you should know how to break up with someone. Especially if you aren't sleeping together. Ignore them completely.

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  98. confusedbutawareJuly 25, 2010 at 4:34 PM

    UKan--you have described me perfectly. This is exactly what I do. I am nice to everyone because I don't want to appear "rude". Midwest upbringing and all. I have only slept with three men in my life. My fiance (who cheated on me and I broke up with him) my ex-husband and the guy I am referencing here. Yep, I am 43 years old and that is all. I am afraid of conflict so I do whatever I can to avoid it thus I am bad about "breaking up".

    Besides, we are not dating. We are "best friends". He says he is trying to find himself and does not want to date anyone. Also, he told me he may get back with his wife some day and he does not want to hurt me. He says he has found in his life that being "friends" lasts but having romantic relationships always ends badly. He said it is better if we are friends so we can always be a part of each other's lives. He told me when he really cares about someone he does not "allow them to get away". He will always "draw them back in".

    Yep. I am a knob. You have have me pegged and I am seeing myself in a way I did not realize. No matter how much I want to believe this guy I have to face facts, as they are the truth, and the reality that I WANT them to be is a false reality. Sucks to be me but it's my fault for ignoring my gut. I allowed him to exploit me. I enabled him.

    SociopathLover--line by line responses provided alot of clarity. Thanks for the insight!

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  99. confusedbutawareJuly 25, 2010 at 5:14 PM

    All I want to say is this is the best site I have ever been to for the purpose of understanding (kind of) how sociopaths/narcissists work. I don't like to read the blunt comments but they are things I need to absorb and hear.

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  100. To confused but aware...

    If you're still interested, check out schizoid..here's a good link

    http://www.bookrags.com/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder

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  101. He says he is trying to find himself

    This has got to be the most meaningless and nonsensical thing a person can say.

    Unless you have Dissociative Identity Disorder, or happen to be Carlos Carlos Castaneda on a mescaline trip.

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  102. confusedbutawareJuly 26, 2010 at 6:22 AM

    Medusa--ROFL!!! :-)

    couldbesaid---Thank you for posting the link. I don't think he has schizophrenia but perhaps SPD is different.

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  103. confusedbutawareJuly 26, 2010 at 6:34 AM

    could be said---I just read the link/article. I understand the differences now. I had no idea there was such a disorder. Very interesting. Sounds like him but I am not a head doc so not sure. :-)

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  104. Reading these comments make me laugh a bit. Real deep guys~! I'll come this site if I got any love problems! -wink-

    UKAN, I've been particularly interested in your comments, they seem blunt and harsh, but honestly, I think you go right to the point and how everyone thinks, they just don't want to seem rude.

    Sociopathlove, your comments also interest me to no end, reall deep and understanding!

    Medusa, you're that one frond I wished I had! Haha!

    Alrights, I've had my say of things, I hope you guys co to us this talk!!!

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  105. Sorry about the typos... I'm on a iPod... Haha

    Medusa, you're that one friend I wished I had.

    I've had my say of things, I hope you guys continue this talk!

    Corrected!

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  106. confusedbutawareJuly 26, 2010 at 6:57 AM

    Observer--- I am glad I found this site only because if I actually share any of this info with my real friends, they would freak out and probably lock me up just to get me away from this guy. This is the safest way for me to ask questions, understand what is going on without revealing it to friends. I know it is just "online" but it really did help to read the comments people have left here. I came here to hear the truth and people have been blunt but I am cool with that. It is what I asked for and what I got. It has been of great benefit to me personally. :-)

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  107. confusedbutawareJuly 26, 2010 at 7:02 AM

    Oh, and Grace---anonymous---thanks for your comments as well. I failed to respond to those but I certainly agree with them now that I read them in black and white.

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  108. I'm seeing a cycle here. . .

    Ukan: Fuck off, you empath. You're trash.
    Empath: I know, I know. You're so right, Ukan.
    Ukan: You shouldn't've been with that sociopath in the first place, he just used you.
    Empath: OH UKAN, THANK YOU FOR YOUR INSIGHT INTO MY LIFE! YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING!

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  109. confusedbutawareJuly 27, 2010 at 6:25 AM

    2 --I don't view it that way. Actually, posters here are simply verifying what I knew in my gut anyway, it just helps to see it in black and white. :-) I may be an empath (never been called that btw so I had to look it up, just in case I should act offended--LOL) but I am not totally devoid of awareness of what is going on. When I typed the situation out, read it and then received the responses it solidified and made me realize just how ridiculous the whole situation really is. This guy "friend" is a loser, liar and user. The thing is, I am going to turn the tide on him and "f" up his mind a bit just for giggles. I now know his weak spots and it's time for a bit of innocent payback. It's not like he doesn't deserve it. :-) Maybe I am a tad bit sociopathic myself. :-)

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  110. empath vs sociopath:
    two types of human being and only one BIG difference! the empath know very well how to operate as a human being but know nothing of his self internal-functions.
    the sociopath do. and he know how to operate too, like the empath. but with a difference. he knows he is the creator of...the identity he is assuming.and in control of his environment.

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  111. I'm convince that an empath can feel what I call "infinite joy". the sociopath, low, high or whatever can't. he will litteraly "incinerate". the sociopath can "incinerate" an empath by communicating him what it's like to REALLY know his self "inner-functions". it's unthinkable for an empath to know "him-self"

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  112. @Medusa- "This has got to be the most meaningless and nonsensical thing a person can say.

    Unless you have Dissociative Identity Disorder, or happen to be Carlos Carlos Castaneda on a mescaline trip."

    OMG~ LOL! Hilarious......

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  113. confusedbutaware said...
    "Hey Grace---Yeah, he almost convinced me to purchase a condo for him to "rent" from me since he is running out of money and is "terrified" he will be on the street."

    You are a goddamned idiot. Well unless he's hung like a horse that changes everything:P

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  114. Anon--I did NOT buy the condo nor will I. And, no, he his far from being hung like a horse. Might be worth a condo if he was however. LOL :-)

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  115. Confuse: even if he's hung like a horse..the novelty will ware off but the payments will continue. If he survived cancer he will survive this.

    Grace

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  116. f.e.t. I am intrigued, especially by your 2nd comment. Say more.

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  117. yes f.e.t tell us more.

    infinite joy? I'm an empath and don't relate to that. I know I want to feel joy more than not. It's easier to feel joy than anger for example.

    Incinerate an empath?

    Grace

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  118. ok. I think we are palimpsest(http://www.thefreedictionary.com/palimpsest). I think the cosm, the world right in front of you, have the TOTALITY of infos about itself. no need for anyone( emp- or socio-paths)to look on quantum theory or (deep) space astronomy: micro-cosm or macro-cosm.they are only here to give you your self-perception of infinity...for ever.
    ok.
    we are not only a palimpsest... but what we 'write' on it. too.
    we are not only the 'writing'( created persona), we are 'always at the same time' the persona and...your-self. and self is something like nothing, really nothing BUT existing and knowing its existence. for me, a being( the "nothing"), the palimpsest can create instantly or not any persona (when I said persona, I said complete personality with emotion(s), feeling(s), thought(s) and 'thinking'(s). ok...
    the emp-path CAN be any emotions at ,it appears, ANY level...WITHOUT knowing he's the palimpsest( self). it's like any game, like poker. in order to feel something during the game, you mustn't know everything about the game. 'cause if you do...it's not real and there's no 'game'. the less you know, the more real (and I talk about pure emotion)it gets.
    a socio-path knows SELF more than an emp-path. and knowing self better than the created persona allow to the socio-path to create ANY persona he want...but never LIVE it fully...'cos he knows HOW he work, he knows how any self works. hence the manipulative power.
    a socio-path

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  119. don't see my grammar, I speak french

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  120. empath = folie à plusieurs
    socio = plusieurs folies d'un

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  121. and perhaps you're not ready for this stuff. it took me 37 years of knowing self and the...exterior( the visible, audible,etc universe). ALL is 'double': inside( your-SELF) AND outside.
    inside is 'double': sef AND the created persona.
    outside is 'double': a thing and its contrary...always.

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  122. empath:investissement sans retenue dans n'importe quelle persona-emotion( qui est systematiquement cree par des stimulis exterieurs) pouvant aller de bliss a agony... sans mourir.
    sociopath: cree systematiquement sa propre persona et le SAIT. ce simple fait de le savoir EMPECHE tout sociopathe de vivre PLEINEMENT sa propre persona. il en est detaché, 'exterieur'.

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  123. to be both or to easily shift between those two is the next step of the evolutionary process here in the universe( whatever you call it). because we are 'double', like ONE coin with 2 sides. we can't never speak as ONE.
    we are creator and operator( sociopath and empath). thinking you are ONE of those let you only KNOW AND LIVE one side of the coin.

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  124. if you understand french, see...my work as both:

    http://www.facebook.com/3013639too?v=app_2347471856

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  125. me, as an empath, I crave to TOTALLY LIVE IN REAL TIME what I call bliss.
    me as an empath, I crave to TOTALLY AND HONESTLY KNOW my-SELF, how I "FUNCTION"...hence how anyone "functions".

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  126. but, for the second assertion, I can't. I can only as a sociopath.

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  127. I was just being clever with a common phrase :)

    Let me clarify:

    In this context, madness = persona

    empath: one madness, based on a madness shared with others. fully invested in that one persona. static.

    socio: chooses his own madness, whichever one and whenever he likes. fully invested in no persona. dynamic.

    Also, don't underestimate...I think there are a few people here who do understand what you are getting at.

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  128. To experience bliss and to feel alive,

    and

    To fully know yourself,

    are each mutually exclusive. This is what you are saying, yes?

    But I think to full know yourself is a kind of bliss, just of a different sort and quality.

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  129. I know one thing for sure. if I want to achieve this goal for myself, I must know every "functions" of me... let me tell you something about bliss. it's in the 'here'( oppose to past present futur). an empath can 'be' here more or less. but the 'here' in itself IS bliss. bliss is not a thing, it's the very nature of space and the very nature of space is...HERE. if you have ever 'felt' in your life such things as eternity, eden, infinity, all that with a very peculiar kind of joy...it's 'cause you as an empath have connected with...here. if you have ever 'felt' in your life such things as eternity, eden, infinity, all that with a very peculiar kind of...primal fear. it's because you as a sociopath have connected with here. 'here' is the final and last step of the evolutionary process. it has always been. it's eternal. and, for us, the only 'time' we need to get there is to know that the palimpsest can BE everything and nothing. and that every things and no things is the created persona; when it comes to relate with the "other(s)". it's the "writing". when you let someone or something "write" upon you-self: you're an emp-path, you're a FULL OPERATOR. only that but...how intense.
    when you're writing upon your-self, and knowing it, it means that you know you're a palimpsest and you KNOW the building blocks of any persona. the trick is you can't "feel" any emotion plainly/at all because of that distanciation( distanciation: in order to know completely something, you must, after being inside it, have to take a look at it from outside. have a distance between that thing and you without being related at all, only by the OBVIOUS space between you and that thing.

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  130. @medusa:
    empath = folie à plusieurs
    socio = plusieurs folies d'un
    it seems to me like that( with my own knowlege of madness)

    empath = 'plein' operateur d'une folie cree par autrui
    socio(path) = createur conscient qu'il cree sa propre folie et operateur 'vide'

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  131. I feel neither joy nor fear when confronted with "infinity".

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  132. @medusa
    believe me, those things have their 'feeling'. it's not because you haven't seen/think you have seen a thing that it doesn't exist.

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  133. It's beyond "feeling".

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  134. thank you! I've made a realization:
    I am the inner-universe...all of it. it's not self and the mind( mental)and the...soul, spirit, you name it, like I use to believe. it's only me creating any variation( persona)in me-self. you know that I'm assuming a persona to "share" with you...it's me, a variation, and that variation is not "self". pure self can be reached. it's what 'they' call god or the supreme being. I prefer supreme being...because I am a being and I was a human being. same root.

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  135. to know all my inner-functions is to be abide by their rules. when you know any inner-functions( the things that build the building blocks of a persona), you acquire knowledge, you acquire power, you are a sociopath. low functioning and high functioning, very low and very high too. it depends on how much knowledge of your inner-functions you possess. how much inner-functions you are in control(to switch it on, to keep it 'alive' the necessary time and to switch it off).

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  136. at last, I must say that those terms: empath or sociopath are...irrelevant. sorry(no, I'm not)
    I am talking about you, about me, about us. we area being, to say the least. and that being appears to have 2 sides: exterior( the body hair to toe), itself surroundig by another exterior the environment and the inner side from wich we create to operate on the outside OR on the inner-side.
    isn't it?

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  137. @daniel birdick.
    Have I tell you more as you ask?

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  138. f.e.t.:

    Yes you did. And then some. ;-) I can’t judge though. How many times have I been told my comments are like walls o’ text?

    I do find what you have said, along with Medusa’s comments, interesting, even you did swerve off into the mystical a time or three. New, interesting and insightful commentary is not always the easiest thing to come by in the comments section of this blog. Thank you. You have given me something to chew over in addition to the baked baby I have on my plate.

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  139. Daniel.:
    here to give and here to take.
    indeed I swerve off.
    I am living in a world of low functioning sociopath and "low functioning" empath... and I'm still alive. whatever that means.

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  140. when I say world, I mean environment

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  141. swerving off...
    what if the End of Times means the end of times( past time present time and futur time)?
    what if HERE is gonna be all that is?
    and in order to be HERE, we must be prepared:
    we must fully know HERE by fully knowing self like an ultra-high functioning sociopath. and fully feel HERE like an empath probably does?
    what if we must have those 2 prerequisits to get HERE?
    I'm sure that everything is in existence, I'm sure the case of 'getting' HERE with only one prerequisit exists
    in that case, you'll simply be incinerate or, at least,you'll immediatly find your-self in a state of excruciating inner-pain

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  142. confusedbutawareJuly 28, 2010 at 9:57 AM

    We are born, we live a life of busy work to fill up the space in between our first breath and our last breath, then we die.

    Analyzing all of this stuff really means nothing in the big scheme of things because we all end up in the same place--the dirt.

    Just a does of reality. :-)

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  143. DOSE of reality is what I mean to write. Oops, sorry. :-)

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  144. @confusedbutaware
    you have shown me only the "apparent"
    scheme of things. it's the surface. the physical scheme. the outside.
    and what about the inner-side? be sure that it possesses as much knowledge as the outside. only a few high functioning or beyond, has taped or dugged into it. not putting the inner in consideration is to never give chance to see the...big scheme, whatever you call it. I call it the world order

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  145. when I'm among other emp or low socio, I feel absolutely alone. and never surprised by them. I wait for a full empath or a high socio to sense me. they are extremely rare in my environment and it never happens. I see them-self and the abyss of ignorance between them-self and them. it's anything but a cold, clinical fact.

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  146. how about that?
    the sociopath has the ability of UNDERSTAND the layer of infos from anything( except obviously one).
    the empath has the ability of LIVING those very layer of infos( except one).
    HERE. it needs both ability of knowing and ability of living(to be fully emotionaly invested).

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  147. to be honest, I must admit that I have known your site only yesterday and that all of my writing here was from myself and IN REAL TIME, no background, just your comment. it was as "new for you as it was for me". and I do that sometimes, first time with you, sociopath, though

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  148. "f.e.t "it's in the 'here'( oppose to past present futur). an empath can 'be' here more or less. but the 'here' in itself IS bliss. bliss is not a thing, it's the very nature of space and the very nature of space is...HERE. if you have ever 'felt' in your life such things as eternity, eden, infinity, all that with a very peculiar kind of joy...it's 'cause you as an empath have connected with...here. if you have ever 'felt' in your life such things as eternity, eden, infinity, all that with a very peculiar kind of...primal fear. it's because you as a sociopath have connected with here. 'here' is the final and last step of the evolutionary process. it has always been. it's eternal."

    This I get. I love it!!

    I am born now and I die now. The only thing there is here is movement from a to b. Maybe movement in space but more like movement in experiences..from one to the next. There is no such thing as time. This is why, I think, all my memories come to me like the way dreams are. I remember my past like dreams-dream like quality. I can't express the future though but I think it's already here. I can barely express any of this. lol. I'm just wingin it.

    Ok now I have a headache.

    Thank you f.e.t. for the interesting comments.

    Grace

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  149. @anonymous
    u welcome... ok, let me put it like this. the sole "acces point" in term of 'time' is NOW. but when I hear the term NOW, I automaticaly refer to the present time...who automaticaly give me sense of flow. from a point(past/futur) to another point(present). it's not NOW. and it's not HERE. when you get "here", you STOP. let me tell you something about the past and the futur. 'they' are pure object from the inner. 'they' have no, really no existence OUTSIDE( in front of your eyes). it's like you made your-self an inner-function that retain the NOW you have lived: memory. and a another one that "want to know what's next"/"prepare myself for what's next": extrapolation/projection. here is your flows of time: memory-->present(the recall) and extrapolation-->present( are you ready? here it is: IMAGINATION).

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  150. the now has no time at all, there is no flow. the now is what you call eternity. it's not the smallest 'period' of time, it's NO TIME AT ALL. and it's really really really cool, to say the least. because it's OUR NATURAL or FUNDAMENTAL STATE. so! what's the deal? you forgot something sine qua non. you forgot your-self. you forgot to BE. not being something at all or any created persona! no! TO...BE( from the inner because you are in the inner( behind your very eyes in fact). you see?
    BE...HERE. and TO BE is TO FEEL and TO KNOW. without any boundaries coz this is what you ARE. this is what I AM. as I KNOW my-self, I can't but KNOW your-self. like an open book. sorry for that( no, I'm not).

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  151. so...here(bliss and 'all' knowledge), now( eternity) and to be( to feel like an ultim'empath and to know like an ultim'sociopath). sociopathy= the society and all its knowledge IS NOT ALL THERE IS.
    this is your core.

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  152. how far do you want to go with me? because when you get HERE, it's only the first step of...something I don't have much knowledge on. but it's BIG. for me who has "studied" society as system, the theory conspiracy, the channeling, scientology, the secret, the bible, the qor'ann( I write it as I hear it), semantics, metaphysics, quantum and string theories, bouddhism, zen, occult, alchemy. enough of this!..so for me, all that make PERFECT sens ONLY because I have the knowledge( not all) of the inner-side, my-self. I knew I was an empath when I was young and I knew there was a side of me like a "computer", cold, clinical, always extracting and processing any information from any source( mostly from it-self), classifying the data. it was me too but I couldn't really name it. until 2 days ago when I saw the first ep. of the tv-show sherlock. he says:"I'm a high-functioning sociopath". it made perfectly sens to me. I googled and I came in this forum.

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  153. a classification of some sort:

    1 - I know THAT I know( HFS)
    2 - I don't know THAT I know( Neuropath)
    3 - I know that I don't know
    4 - I don't know that I don't know( VLFS)

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  154. because when you know something, you KNOW that you know something. how about feeling?

    1 - I feel that I feel( full empath)
    2 - I don't feel that I feel( neuropath)
    3 - I feel that I don't feel
    4 - I don't feel that I don't feel( empty empath)

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  155. evolution... I say it's like a countdown, all about knowing things to understand them to unveil the existence and feeling things to perfect this very existence.

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  156. hey you... when I was a child, I had knowledge and living fully my emotions. after that came something called standardisation who wanted to place itself between me and myself. I said no but it enforced itself. it said:" be one, know or feel. but you'll always ONLY know what I give you to know. and I will give you a lot and you'll always feel what I give you to feel, and I'll give you a lot.
    but I'll never let you feel about yourself. I'll never let you know about yourself. and if you could feel about yourself, you won't be aware about it. and if you could know about yourself, you won't feel it...

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  157. I said no and 'he' goes away. and what I did is to know about outside...from inside. and the first thing I stumble upon was that: outside from an outside point of view IS NOT like outside from an inside point of view. better! that inside from an inside point of view IS NOT like inside from an outside point of view. It gives me the ability to switch between the two and KNOWING it and FEELING it...and AWARE of it

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  158. Sociopathlove said...
    The connection through sex is shallow and very temporary, but it's also very honest and it's fun.


    so true! the connection through sex may be shallow and temporary but the "shallow and temporary" is a judgement created by our minds. the connection is more honest and real than the unmet expectations that drive the mind to rewrite and diminish it. why is it that what we never question what we feel?

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  159. Savagelight said...
    In a way everybody is wearing a mask and nobody really gets to know anyone else because of it. We all try to become perfect in the eyes of the person we want to win over.


    great point. can we ever get to know another human being without wearing a mask of some sort?

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  160. f.e.t said...
    It gives me the ability to switch between the two and KNOWING it and FEELING it...and AWARE of it


    hey f.e.t., do you mean knowing as in thinking, and awareness as in the awareness of being aware without the thought?

    feeling and thinking seem like two sides of the same coin. feelings drive the thinking and the thoughts make us feel. i can get worked up just thinking about things! then later that same feeling makes me want to keep thinking the thoughts that got me worked up in the first place. but the coin is just an illusion, not reality. i mean, no matter what we think or feel or believe, it won't change what actually is.

    and i don't think we can experience what actually is, the present, with thoughts or feelings, only with awareness. you can be aware of your thoughts and feelings also. but you can't "know" feelings or "feel" ideas. am i following you? i think i'm following you. trippy.

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  161. I mean knowing as "having reality about". like you said "what actually is" is reachable only by absorbing ALL the information about "what actually is". and when you hear that sentence: what actually is, is telling you that you don't know in your life "what actually is"... even only by awareness. because awareness is a sense, "detecting the existence of". we all have that sense. the ability to "perceive the outflow of information emanating from anything in existence. but we prefer to 'think'(remember, recall) the infos about something when confronting something.

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  162. let me put it that way:
    every thing in existence, including the human being, is TOTALLY in existence, already: total existence. awareness can perceive total existence of anything. it's a sense made for that. this sense work like that:
    perception of the informations emanating from thing= knowing "how" this thing exist by itself= increasing "level of reality" of this thing= increasing the empathy you have about this thing= ability to be...it= FEELING IT. for me, this is how it work.

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  163. HERE is FOREVER HERE, you see. it's only us and our AWARENESS that is the problem. things never are. because as a sociopath I have control inside, I know there's no such thing as randomness and accident outside. there's something happenning, yes but it's an 'order being executed' by outside towards me. it's like the more I am aware, the more I can perceive orders...

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  164. and the big order of all: evolution. you can only perceive it from inside, from yourself. because it's all about your-self.it's like each self( self, no TRUE self, no FALSE self, self) has created the "I". and if you know what the purpose of "I" is, you'll be AWARE of your-self as something that is FAMILIAR. no strangeness or weirdness on that matter...

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  165. f.e.t., at the risk of you unleashing another 20 comments in response, tell us about how your "mystical knowledge" affects your real life. What difference does any of the above actually make?

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  166. @daniel
    it's NOT mystical, it's factual knowledge about self...
    ok ,it gives me a peculiar state of being. to see that any "whole" is BI and DUAL. when there is 2 dual, there is a hole. it means a whole has been created because 2 is the root of a whole in this earth. it means that I am aware of that. so when I meet someone, we became a hole and I know how to manage a "whole", any whole.and yes all wholes are dual. in order to know anything about existence, you must put it "in vis-a-vis" with his opposite: non-existence. and non-existence( now you'll see HOW I process information) tells me that non-existence IS ITSELF NON-EXISTENCE. the sole things that DOESN'T EXIST is non-existence--> that everything will come to existence-->no time!!!so...-->everything IS ALREADY in existence,so...-->2 theories:
    1- I can't sense it ALL
    2- is ONLY AND WILL EVER BE what I hear, see, touch, etc. and only this: outside the "front of" my eyes. and from that...my theory. with that noone is "left behind". any truth is in front of the senses to me

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  167. It could be the language barrier, but I had a hard time following your last comment. I'm not sure what your point was, unless, you are simply saying that everything you sense is reality. Which, when put like that, is not saying much.

    But we digress... When I asked my last question, I was referring to mundane things, like your job, if you have one, or your social life or how you relate to your family, etc. How does any of what you have shared here affect your day to day life?

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  168. ok. one condition: put those facts about me on consideration.
    - I'm in an important work in progress that I spent 37 years on it
    - I'm on the verge of achieving it( and this thread helps). so... I need time but I need money, society provide me that.
    you means what is my power in daylife? to create "context". nothing without context. it is like space containing...things. context CONTAINS circumstances. circumstances equals matter, energy, SPACE and YOU and/or other individual( indivi-sible dual...funny!). this is my power. to a certain degree.

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  169. f.e.t.

    what kind of work do you do...for a living..you don't have to be specific..for example I work part time and I go to school full time. I work in a science lab. I work alone and I like it. I'm asking you about practical things. I don't think anyone here is interested in weird science or utopia. If I can't relate to what you are saying then you are not helping me.


    DB

    He could be some kind of artist. Maybe a con artist. Not sure but it's to bizzare and I don't think we will get any real info.

    Grace

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  170. and maybe I'm the real macCoy

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  171. there is no real macCoy.

    Grace

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  172. PostmodernSociopathAugust 1, 2010 at 4:09 PM

    Sounds a bit like Gene Ray, if you ask me.

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  173. Well I thought f.e.t. sounded interesting at first but then it got weird. At least for me. But, it was thought provoking too. Gene Ray? Is that the man who theorized a time cube or something like that. That sounds just like anti-matter to me..or something along those lines.

    Grace

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  174. Hey Anon-Grace and DB

    The sociopath I am dealing with manipulated me to the point (Yes, I allowed the manipulation, I understand that even though I didn't realize it at the time) that I purchased several thousands of dollars of equipment for him so he could start a new career. My question is this--now that I realize I have been manipulated and used just for my money, my plan was to see him, play along like he is my best friend still, pack up the equipment (it's portable) while he is sleeping and leave without saying goodbye. Any thoughts about this tactic when dealing with a Sociopath? Kind of my way of making my own "restitution" for what he is doing. He recently asked me to purchase MORE equipment. I have not done this. He keeps asking and I play along like I will. He says he keeps asking because of "his own insecurities" and he is used to people leaving him even in friendships. I am just biding my time until I have access to the equipment I did buy for him so I can get some of my money investment back. So, what do y'all think about this idea?

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  175. Even though you paid for all of it doesn't mean you can take it from his house. Make sure you can't get into trouble for that. Know what mean..

    Grace

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  176. confusedbutaware:

    My thought, since you asked: tactics and blowback. Wrt tactics, is he a light sleeper? If so, will he need a little chemical assistance to help deepen his sleep? Will you be nervous or figdety while you await the time when he falls asleep? Wrt blowback, is your ex likely to seek revenge? If so, how far do you think he will go and can you handle whatever he dishes out? Could you get into legal trouble? Can you beat him (out wit him, or even physically, if necessary) should it come to that?

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  177. Sociopathlove, I think you have it wrong. Most women who are the type that get used for sex don't seem to be manipulative sociopaths. They seem more like BPD types. They do it for validation and have low self esteem.

    I think the women you are referring to are rare.

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  178. I think you all are over complicating Confusedbutaware's situation. He probably stopped sleeping with you because you may have a smelly vagina. Just make sure to wash up. If you're doing doggy style, shave your ass and scrub good!

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  179. Hey Grace and DB---I actually had not thought of legal issues. I never thought about it being illegal. Depending on the state, once you give a "gift" it becomes the property of the owner and I could be charged with a felony (due to value). I am not interested in going down that path. As far as revenge? I have no idea. I suppose I should cut my losses and simply not contact him anymore or take his phone calls. We live several states away from each other so it's not hard to avoid him.

    Anon----Yawn.

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  180. Ok then. You don't know what the legal ramifications might be and you don't know if he would move to make your life a living hell for stealing from him and you live several states away from him anyway... All of that adds up to you moving on. Tell him to go fuck himself and get on with it.

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  181. Just think it through before you do anything like that.

    Believe me I know how you feel.

    My ex still owes me money and I know I will never see it. So I guess I should start saying I gave it to him..that makes me angry at myself even more though. He blocked me on facebook...not that I was trying to communicate with him but I did look at his face page from time to time. I guess he's just putting the nail in the coffin. How horrible is that and why? I guess I'm still trying to understand something that I will never be able to fully comprehend.

    Grace

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  182. ^^^Grace, I too am mystified and stupefied by this need to comprehend. I know, I know. Zan attempted to explain this to me in another thread. I didn't get it then and I don't get it now. This is probably why I normally avoid the "love lorn/love burned" comments on this blog. Why not just move on? Why not just decide that you deserve better and walk away? And if you want to hurt them, why not just go ahead and hurt them, crush them, etc, then move on? What is there to comprehend, besides learning how not be a victim again?

    Speaking of, you will have to excuse me, this vampire must go out to hu. It is time for this vampire to go hunting for his next victim. ;-)

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  183. You know that I know your right DB. I can't explain any of it to you more than it has been already. I'm just as perplexed about you and you are about me. So have a good hunt and I will go to sleep)

    ps..i am moving on. so watch out!!

    Grace

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  184. je m'appelle fethi, j'ai 44 ans, j'habite en france je me suis servi de ce forum pour exposer les premisses d'une theorie( la theorie du MEME). je vous remercie de votre participation a tous. so long and farewell.

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  185. f.e.t
    are you sad by the failure of an expectation about us?

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  186. DB--I am afraid of what he will do if I do try to ignore him. I think he will make my life a living hell if I try to walk away. That is the honest truth. I don't want him in my life because he sucks the life out of me but I am afraid of what he WILL do if I try to "leave" the friendship. Scares me actually. So, I pretend to have revenge plans and get even plans all the while knowing I won't do it because I am too scared to "just walk away". :-(

    Grace---I wish I could move on too.

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  187. @Zoe

    "great point. can we ever get to know another human being without wearing a mask of some sort?"


    I'm not sure. I think there are times when my mask or masks don't work or are torn down, but it's only for the moment and its fleeting, it never lasts longer than a moment. In the end it's those genuine moments that constitute "connection" points. I will say that I've experienced those moments watching sports, I've experienced those moments smoking weed, I've experienced those moments having sex, or in deep conversation where something clicks and you relate to one another.

    It's only just moments though. I never have a permanent sense of connection to anyone or anything. I don't think I'm very good at emotional intimacy. Here is how I see the problem, if we are to accept a complete full raw person we have to accept everything about that person from the most beautiful features to the most disgusting. Nobody is any one thing all the time, and everybody if you dig deep enough and look closely enough, is gross, disgusting, ugly, etc.

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  188. An example can be illustrated by the fact that privacy no longer exists. In a world without any privacy where your every behavior is recorded for all to see, where your google search results are public, do you think you'd still have friends? Do you think your friends or family members would still accept you now that they know you like some "sick" kind of pornography, or that you have some "evil" type of thought, or that you said something racist, sexist, or just generally ignorant? It does not seem to matter what kind of person you are, or how you treat people, it's your image that matters most, your reputation, it matters so much that people are forced to wear masks and play these role playing games just to get ahead socially.

    In reality everybody is sick, disgusting, weird, ignorant, in private. The reason is we are animals, not saints. But we want our boss to think we are a saint, we want our friends to think we are cool, we want our partners to think we are beautiful, we want our enemies to fear us, and we have to manage all these different groups of people and their feelings toward us and this is what they call "social skills" because nobody who has any sort of social skills in my experience can last without being a chameleon on all levels.

    Everyone deep down fears that if anyone ever really knew them or "outed" them, that they'd be taken out back and shot, or lynched. Everybody is in the closet, not just gay people, not just psychopaths, not just jewish people, everybody has sides of themselves that they cannot completely understand, that society despises or does not accept, but society wants to do everything to invade everyones privacy at the same time. Society can't even accept something as basic as human sexuality but it wants to create databases with all our sexual habits or thoughts in them, categorized so that it can more easily be searched by whomever.

    Think about it, if you have no privacy, no secrets, your every thought is recorded, then all the people who hate the way you think, or who hate the way you act in private, those people will have your profile from which to track you down. So the end result is everybody is hiding from everybody in public, but in private everybody acts like a "monster" by how society defines how humans should act.

    Now if I'm wrong and you are a saint in public and in private do not be insulted. I'm speaking for the vast majority of humanity that has vulnerabilities and that hides them, or that is in constant fear of not only being rejected but of being activated hated and hunted down. In a world of intolerance everybody who learns to survive in that world is a chameleon, and the ones who don't learn to be chameleons are considered social misfits who cannot survive in the real world because they don't know how to fake it, or play the game.

    Wow that was a long response. Zoe you ask complicated questions.

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  189. "why is it that what we never question what we feel?"


    @Zoe
    Some individuals, or perhaps most individuals, are not in conscious control of their feelings. NLP or subliminal marketing works by preying upon the fact that some individuals will always be victims of their subconscious. These individuals are what we commonly call "sheep" because they can be herded by their emotions, typically fear but love and hate as well. The power of symbolism is immense, as is the power of suggestion, Tabacco companies have taken full advantage of this and that is why in their advertisements physically attractive young people with words like "pleasure" in big bold print are used. It's to create certain associations in the minds of particular individuals.

    Sociopaths with strength of intellect prey upon these weak minded type individuals. Empaths do too, but not in the same way. A sociopath female will go into chameleon mode long enough to convince the empath competitor that she is her "friend" when in reality the sociopath female sees her as a competitor. Let us imagine a situation where you have an empath who is a cheerleader, in fact shes the lead cheerleader, shes beautiful physically, she has a ton of friends, the sociopath female secretly hates the empath cheerleader but wants to gain from her mojo/popularity. So the sociopath female pretends to like everything the empath cheerleader likes, starts wearing similar clothes, similar hairstyle, starts to talk in a similar fashion, down to every level of detail even mimicking her body language.

    The empath finally lets her guard down long enough for the sociopath female to determine her weaknesses. The empath female has no self esteem. The sociopath female will at this point apply the suggestion and subconscious influence techniques, starting by breaking down her self image even further, by suggesting that her friend is "fat". Suggesting that only outer beauty is what matters, further diminishing the empaths self worth. Slowly convincing the empath that no man could ever love her, while at the same time stealing the light/popularity from the empath. Every new guy the sociopath female is with, the empath will have to know about it so as to rub it in her face. This can go on for months or years until the sociopath reaches a point where they are bold enough to directly call the empath "fat", "ugly", "stupid", until the empath finally internalizes it, develops an eating disorder, starts cutting herself, etc.

    Why does the sociopath female do this? The sociopath female is simply diminishing the competition and removing an obstacle. The method of doing this is by covertly diminishing the self esteem of the empath, as the empath made it known that she was vulnerable to this line of attack. The sociopath wants popularity, wants attention from guys, and hates anyone more beautiful, smarter, and generally better than herself because she has this extreme jealousy, combined with ruthlessness that she will convince the empath that she has no "internal", that there is only the external "physical" beauty from which to compete, and that the empath is never physically going to be good enough. Taken to the extreme, such as in the situation of a fight, the sociopath female is likely to cut up a womans face and leave a permanent scar, a way to ugly her up without actually killing her. Another tactic is to spread lies and rumors about her to make her look bad that way but the equation is really simple, it's

    "Many people believe that you can always be the best if you can harass and put down anyone better. "

    This means that the easiest way to win a beauty contest is by making sure your competition is always uglier than you. Remember "God" does not like "ugly".

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  190. Confused, what do you believe he will actually do?

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  191. Confused

    That's why I suggested the other day to back away slowly. Become boring and keep your calls or emails simple. Remember you’re not out for revenge..you just want to slowly move away from him. It may take time but to pull back suddenly might upset him. If you don't give him anymore money then that might help him slip away on his own. You may get better advice from others here or a friend who knows you well.

    Also be honest with yourself about this. Will he really get upset? Or are you just fooling yourself into thinking that because you don't want to split up? Know what I mean? I say that because I could see myself trying to manipulate the situation so that I have a valid excuse to keep it alive in some form or another. These days I don't think I would do that but I know I would think it.

    Grace

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  192. confusedbutaware

    To fear a sociopath is pointless. Either you have more power than him, or he has more power than you. If you have more power than him then it's time you remind him of that. If he has more power than you, then gain enough power to escape. If you are afraid of him you are giving him power he hasn't earned. This just makes it easier for him to control you because you fear him, and it emboldens him to make you fear him even more because it's a power trip to have someone so afraid of you that they wont leave you.

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  193. I didn't want to read the comments, but I honestly think you're just denying the emotions you do have, hidden deep within.

    Problem is, when i get tired of someone...

    If you didn't feel guilt or remorse over this, then why are you labeling this as a problem? You actually just seem like someone who's trying to prove something...that you're dark and twisted just like the people who hurt you in your past. Sounds more like you have issues with self-acceptance and self esteem. But nice try...we all tell ourselves things to make it through the day. As well as deny who we are to avoid the admittance of being human. Sociopaths don't stuff emotions, they don't need to because there isn't much there that needs to be stuffed, released or given time to dissipate.

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