Friday, December 3, 2010

Sociopath test: How to spot them before they target you

Everyone wants to know how to identify a sociopath, it's one of the most frequently asked questions I get. The problem is that no one has discovered a definitive means of identifying them, even in a clinical setting with trained psychologists, even with a brain scanner. For the average layperson, the advice for spotting a sociopath is as varied and unreliable as "evil eyes," social parasite/criminal, and (my favorite for being both too specific and overbroad) Martha's Stout's "pity play" litmus test. I had hoped that there would be physical manifestations of sociopathy, but the results, while suggestive of potential promising areas of follow-up (why don't sociopaths take cold medicine?), were far from scientific or conclusive. Still, from my own personal experience with sociopaths, I believe that there are some easily observable behaviors or traits that correlate relatively well with sociopathy. I came up with 12.
1. Sociopaths typically don't smalltalk about themselves as much as normal people do. They will direct the conversation back to the new acquaintance as much as they can.

2. A sociopath will reveal "personal" details about himself strategically, i.e. for the purposes of misdirection or a false sense of intimacy/trust. Revelations of actual truths are very rare and may be perceived as a small slip of the mask.

3. Sociopaths frequently hesitate before responding. It will be unclear to you whether they are bored, annoyed, lying, or all three.

4. No strong reactions to illogical hotbed political/social topics (e.g. Octomom or Catholic priest child molestation).

5. Monotone voice (I am told).

6. A tendency to take things too literally or otherwise not respond appropriately to small emotional cues.

7. Cold indifference to one or more family members.

8. Seemingly a different person when "distracted."

9. Disconnect between what the sociopath says and does, e.g. seems charitable but does not give money to homeless or vice versa.

10. Never shows signs of embarrassment. Easily wins over large crowds with confidence. "Poise" in this case = lack of nerves.

11. Does not fit stereotypes for gender, race, ethnicity, religion, age, sexual orientation, or career. Could seem foreign, bisexual, older or younger, pious, wealthy or poor, but may also just seem unplaceable.
12. Can flip flop between keeping a very low profile (the observer) to being the life of the party (the actor).
I don't think all of these would apply to all sociopaths, and certainly many of them apply to people who aren't sociopaths, however they all have the advantage of being directly observable by a layperson, at least without the aid of a brain scan or 10 page questionnaire. Also, because they're seemingly inconsequential and not directly related to the classic sociopath/antisocial traits, a sociopath would have less reason to mask them.

Do some of these seem particularly predictive or not? Any other suggestions?

413 comments:

  1. I really liked this one and just as a test i asked a few of my schoolmates randomly in the day if they noticed one of these(i asked different questions at different times). Most of my closer friends said that they noticed these and they people that i just have to use said no and gave me some funny looks. So yeah i think that these work if you have an hour or so to check these or you know the socio before hand. Good work M.E.

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  2. While most of those apply to me, #3 applies most and has gotten me in some sticky situations. I never did find an excuse for it.

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  3. I don't particularly consider displaying a personal detail as Always for the purpose of misdirection or a false sense of intimacy/trust, however, perhaps my intent is not as genuine as I'd like to believe.

    Almost all of your points were spot on, though. It's probably due to the fact that the points are so broad, but I commend you nonetheless for making an effort.

    13. Can often appear to be tender, loving, or passionate, yet able to switch to completely self-centered, cold and unapologetic on a dime, and vice versa.

    14. Seemingly able to relate to almost anyone's issues in some capacity, from a logical standpoint, and apt to give advice if needed.

    15. (Related to 14) When not being able to relate to someone's issues, will instead be highly inquisitive as opposed to empathetic, seeming to want to know more about the issue than comforting and helping the person.

    16. Well versed in giving advice on social manipulations in the guise of "help" to friends, loved ones, and family, with great enthusiasm instead of hesitancy.

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  4. Number 1,2,3,4 and 9 hold the most true for me. With number 9 it's strange, because I've only recently began to realise how contradictory my behaviour can be at times. I don't think that number 5 really links in with sociopathy, but it does make sense to me. I never take a great deal of intrest in what other people are saying, and when I was younger, people took offence over how uninterested and unanimated I seemed. I now usually make an effort to sound more excited.

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  5. Very good list ME and nice additions Notable.

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  6. "why don't sociopaths take cold medicine?"
    Cold medicine doesn't do anything except put you to sleep. There is no cure and no real treatment for the cold. You'd probably get this response from the general public.

    I don't like this whole "making a list of ways to out me" thing, so I thing I'm going to obtain from here on in.

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  7. M.E. wrote...
    I had hoped that there would be physical manifestations of sociopathy, but the results, while suggestive of potential promising areas of follow-up (why don't sociopaths take cold medicine?), were far from scientific or conclusive.


    i wonder if it is related to high pain tolerance? i can ignore the aches and pains when i'm sick. what i hate is the mental inability to function, the lack of energy, motivation and boredom. cold medication doesn't change that. why bother?

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  8. i found the similarities in the survey results interesting. there were a small number of participants, and a small number of questions, so you would expect the answers would be more scattered.

    also, there wasn't much difference between the way the empaths and sociopaths answered the questions. was this intended to out the empaths?

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  9. Oh dear, it appears I may be a sociopath! Actually, the fact that this concerns me probably means I'm not one at all - oh well... another day, another label to be coveted.

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  10. 3. Sociopaths frequently hesitate before responding. It will be unclear to you whether they are bored, annoyed, lying, or all three.

    Aren't sociopaths supposed to be impulsive ? They show low impulse restraint, sometimes they say what's on their mind. Like i did when a fat dork started to annoy me with his supposed insights on me. I just blurted out "Shut up, fat stupid fuck". I didn't even know where that came from.

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  11. Not for the so-called high functioning ones when it comes to Impression Management, Mike.

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  12. 1, 3, 5, 6, 8 ,13, 14, all apply to my socio,
    He also can switch from being angry to joking and visa versa without warning.
    Everything with him is a contridiction.
    He also mirror's my facial expressions.

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  13. I see M.E. remembered a suggestion from a previous blog, something about how you shouldn't be allowed to think along the lines of spotting personality disorders in a crowd, and that M.E. should make a Where's Waldo interpretation of a game for us to play in spite of such conversation.

    Looks like we've spotted ourselves a psychopath!

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  14. All of these apply to me and lately the mask has been slipping. I hate my 9-5 job and i know the feeling is mutal. Eveything will spin out of control if I cant keep it going. I need my benefits for my spouse who may need to go see a bunch of doctors now. I dont know how to keep it going another six months. Where can i get help with this ?

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  15. I can't even imagine working 9-5. The longest shift that I've ever been asked to work at a job was 6 hours. I just said "fuck that", walked out and never returned. If I were in your position I'd borrow money of a friend or family member.

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  16. Well if you care so much about your spouse you're probably not a sociopath even though you fit in with the description M.E. provided.

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  17. I consider my wife an extention of myself. I could give a damn about anyone else.

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  18. If it wasnt for the damn medical i would have left already

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  19. So Mike, the charade has limits YOU get to impose on us and we don't get to decide ourselves as of now? Sounds like a prescribed belief to me. I'm not buying it.

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  20. Mike's being a naughty boy.~

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  21. You can believe whatever the hell you want to believe. I'm just saying. If the guy works his ass of to take care of a sick wife, what is he doing here pretending to be a sociopath anyway? Didn't he read the brief? Callous, lack of empathy. I have trouble believing that i am a sociopath and that guy does charity around here and expects to be a socio as well? I don't buy that.

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  22. I have to wonder if these vary between male and female. Certainly there are some of these that describe me perfectly but others that because of my gender and who I am supposed to be, do not at all represent me.

    Obviously numbers 4 8 9 & 10 are pretty common I would imagine in all sociopaths but things like 5 6 & 7 do not apply to me at all outwardly. I am extremely perceptive to emotional cues from people, and every one of my extended familiy members would tell you that I am the "peacemaker" and glue in some cases for our family. Okay so behind the scenes I may be lying and conniving the shit out of them to get what I want or just because but they have no idea.

    I particularly liked your additions Notable as I am always being told how "helpful" I am when dealing with things I know absolutely nothing about. Not to mention people come to me with problems and I lay out the perfect manipulation strategy for them and then they ruin it by breaking down in the middle and end up all sad and depressed.

    It seems to me to be as undetected as possible if you are a female you have to develop a much more in depth understanding of human emotions and you have to respond appropriately. I think men get away with more apathy and can blame it on gender roles easily.

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  23. I have been told that I show no signs of anxiety.

    However, I do get a little nervous from public speaking. Do sociopaths get nervous or show physical signs from something like public speaking?

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  24. @anonymous - Personally I love speaking in public. As a matter of fact I have a degree in Communications. But then again as anyone will tell you everyone has different manifestations of sociopathy. For instance... I have a dog, a ferret and a squirrel- and I never abuse them! Ha

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  25. I get accused repeatedly about acting like a character from a TV show. Every time I say something funny my friends ask me what show I am quoting (i rarely quote shows). maybe its because I’m fucking too funny to be real or there is an non-genuine feeling behind what I say. I often use misdirection in conversation when it is headed to a direction that I do not like and I am almost never called out on it. I think that might be common though among everyone, I mean who would willingly let the convo go somewhere that they don’t want?

    Number 16 I find interesting. Whenever someone comes to me with help with a situation they are in I always advise a way in which they can manipulate other for the outcome they desire. I thought thats how everyone did it. Why would you be yourself and risk a bad outcome?

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  26. @SweetSalineStained

    Interesting, I have no fear when it comes to anything else, sky diving, shooting & hunting.

    I think the main reason is because English is my second language and I lack experience and practice. Once I become a master public speaker, I will have no fear.

    I am involved with business, law and military. I have great eye contact, but I should work on intonation. Or maybe its the monotone voice that ME speaks of, any tips as a communications major?

    I have tried to copy film actors and have been fairly successful. Who would you suggest as an ideal public speaker to copy?

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  27. well its all about surviaval. life is easier with a patner. Right now im playing a part. It was always a comedy now its a drama and i dont fucking know how to handle it. Sometimes it feels like my head will explode

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  28. Mike I just don't buy your thought process. You wanted us to believe you know the individual, and that his charade isn't worth enough for him to keep. Basically you're implying there can be no outside sources for reasons why to keep a charade because it's not possible for me to get anything out of the deal.

    I don't believe that Anon to be a sociopath because I don't believe anyone in existence to truly be one, but I don't see where you get off on judging him either.

    As far as what I can believe, or should believe, I believe you should explain to us where you've gained your all seeing power and share it with us so we can be more socio, like you.

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  29. 'I don't believe that Anon to be a sociopath because I don't believe anyone in existence to truly be one'

    i think you are deluding yourself there. there certainly is such a thing as a sociopath, in relative terms anyway, which is all that matters.

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  30. M.E. might be interested in this list for physical symptoms of sociopathy. some were included in his/her questionnaire, others weren't. i have no idea how valid they are or how much research went into them. some seem hazy to me: just what is meant by "bizarre brain waves?"

    either way, they're kind of interesting.

    http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Are_there_any_physical_symptoms_for_a_sociopath

    i've seen them elsewhere, but can't find the name associated with the research. if i come across it, i'll include it.

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  31. I can see pretty much all of them in my ex and some in myself.

    No 3 He always had a quick answer even when he was all three. He must have had lots of practice prior to me. I never really had a chance to put him on the spot face to face...if the relationship lasted longer and I had the chance to confront him then my response might be different.

    no 10 He was never embarrassed. If it were something he wanted or did he could care less about what other people thought of it. Which seemed like a strength to me at the time. Pioused sounds good otherwise.


    no 11 True. I can't quite put my finger on it.


    no 12 He was too anti social to be the life of the party...didn't care much for parties...only interested in controlling one on one. There might have been a time when that was different though. He wore out his welcome I think.

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  32. Just six months? What is the issue with your job that you can't keep it going six months?

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  33. I'd be happy to debate that with you of all people, notme.

    You, being a product of your environment (your father), and all.

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  34. Mike I don't find someone saving their spouse unsociopathic. Why would he want her to die? Your comment is more of the same belief people have when they first come in here that sociopaths are vampire/gothic/robot/terminators. Sociopaths have spouses for one reason or another. Sometimes they are important to them. If they lose something important to them it is a loss of power and a feeling of powerlessness.

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  35. I have a couple of close friends whom I'm certain fits the bill but I seem one of them cry and the other confided a really heavy episode in an earlier phase of his life. I don't think he was lying. Why do sociopaths cry?

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  36. lol anon. you hurt me real bad.

    i must say, that's the first jab i've got since i've been here, and i kind of like it.

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  37. Notme, that wasn't a jab. I just assume that as we're all here we can tell the truth without restraining ourselves.

    And for the record, I don't believe you anyway :)

    But I will say, I kind of like your bullshit too.

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  38. Gag, I've cried before. I've also faked tears before. The beauty of aging is that eventually it's no longer required, like at funerals. Most people just assume you're "seasoned". Fabrications of one's youth also help for people who aren't "most".

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  39. I hate when people cry in front of me. It makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

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  40. Didn't he read the brief? Callous, lack of empathy. I have trouble believing that i am a sociopath and that guy does charity around here and expects to be a socio as well? I don't buy that.

    Mike, don't tell me you haven't done something selfless for the benefit of your reputation or for a nice warm place to put your penis. ;)

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  41. well, it's nice to be tested, it doesn't happen much. having said that, i found your first comment interesting yet pointless, given how we are all products of our parents, in one way or another.

    also, i feel all tingly when i can venture into new possible- bullshit-territory in my mind.

    i'm glad you like it. i am but a mirror today. and so, i too, like it. ;)

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  42. slam dance. :)

    -another anon

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  43. Isn't this Mike the same one that talks about arson?

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  44. I don't think all of these would apply to all sociopaths, and certainly many of them apply to people who aren't sociopaths,


    How sociopathic of you,ME.....lol

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  45. Notme, it seems to me you need to up your dose of video games (or go shooting). When I lack in those departments, I start to get like you.

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  46. 17. The "sour" smile of purposeful liars. In general, a "sour" face expression which covers whatever other expression they might display at the moment.

    18. Rigid, stale, "frozen" face expression. I compare it to the face expressions of actors of the current generation, who seem to always display one or two face expressions in all pictures and videos available.

    BTW, a bunch of the traits from the article might apply to me too.

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  47. Socio's find abusive behaviour amusing, as long as they are not the one's on the recieving end of the abuse.

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  48. 'Notme, it seems to me you need to up your dose of video games (or go shooting). When I lack in those departments, I start to get like you.'

    'like' what? i'm always like this.

    you should give yourself a name Anon, that way it's more likely i'll become fond of you which should feed your growing obsession with me quite nicely. ;)

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  49. It's not you that I'm obsessed with. It's Zoe.

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  50. Talking about a frozen look in photos, do any of you have wide set eyes?

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  51. @this i know

    i think that's kind of a fetal alcohol syndrome trait, although i suppose it's possible for that to develop into sociopathy.

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  52. LOL, but thank you for answering.

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  53. 'It's not you that I'm obsessed with. It's Zoe.'

    well, she's a lovely lady.

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  54. That wasn't me, but I did admit I respected Zoe the other day.

    However, same answer as always. No. I don't need a name for myself here. It doesn't matter.

    You are worthy though, don't think you're not, but I think this is the part where I say it's not you... it's me.

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  55. we are just one big anon. ;)

    a non anon

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  56. I have a theory of where Sociopathy originated, just a theory.

    The Nephilim were on the earth in those days-and also afterward- when the sons of God went to the daughters of man and had children with them. They were the heros of old, men of renown.
    Genesis 6:4

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  57. who are the nephilim?

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  58. They weren't angels and they weren't humans, they were just called sons of God.

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  59. Google, Nephilim today, Danm wonder if my theory has any weight.

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  60. I told you yesterday that the sociopaths are beings from another reality.

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  61. that's interesting... but i don't think so. largely we're just kind of distorted. :D (but sometimes in a fun way. sometimes not.)

    it's probably some kind of evolutionary adaptation, though---i believe that anyway. if you think about what's needed in war, what's needed in business (at times,) what's needed in even things like emergency tech work---then sociopathy can be fairly useful.

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  62. I was wrong about who nephilim were, they were the offspring of the sons of God and the daughters of men.

    Always thought about who they were, it's possible.

    They can acoomplish alot of things if they use their powers for good instead of evil.

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  63. sociopaths are beings from another reality.



    And I am trapped between theirs, and what is supposed to be normal.

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  64. i think that's true of most people. choosing not to use whatever skills one has for the good is not strictly a socio trait. and some socio's probably do use their traits to achieve things. so who knows? what's normal anyway?

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  65. There have been those on this site that said it was their choice to do good.

    I think that the way they were brought up or their environment must have played a part on which way they choose. And I do believe they choose.

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  66. @nikita---i feel that way too. it's why i like this site. i don't have to spend my time figuring out if what i'm doing is normal or not... and no one seems to mind. :D

    @this i know: maybe i'll get there some day.

    it would be interesting to find that out--what role environment plays in things and how that influences choice.

    it seems like you're asking a lot of questions about things. i hope it's fun. :)

    good night. :)

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  67. You're a fool if you believe a serial killer didn't choose to kill.

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  68. I absolutly believe they choose to kill.

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  69. Well, now you can "know" they choose to kill and stop believing as you no longer have to use such a belief.

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  70. Are you speaking from your own experience? Or is something clouding your eyesight when you read my 2nd to last post? Anon

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  71. UKan:Sociopaths have spouses for one reason or another. Sometimes they are important to them.

    Indeed. I’m married and my lovely husband serves a ton of functions for me. I also consider him somewhat an extension of myself. Good way to put it, Anon.

    Gag: Why do sociopaths cry?
    To get what we want. That's why I do it. Plus there were 6 other times, 4 of which were as a child and I couldn't even figure out then why I was crying. *shrug* People are weird.

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  72. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  73. Misconception: Lack of empathy (even totally) = lack of internal feelings "totally".

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  74. I remember crying about my father one time in front of my ex. He started to cry too and I remember thinking how strange that was. It's not like I was a basket case over it I was just weeping. But I really thought he was just feeling my pain at the moment...it sured seemed like it.

    Is it possible that he might have been feeling some kind of pain and it was just an opportunity to let it out? I wonder because it seemed so real... but then again so did everything else about it. It's crazy!!

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  76. It's the sharing of these thoughts and memories that almost force me to consider I understand sociopaths better than the people who falsely believe they are so vastly different from them.

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  77. Dear Anonymous of the time stamp 8:45 p.m.,

    Please cast some illumination onto the subject of social errors and psychological disorders. You sound like a expert in the field.

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  78. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  79. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  80. Nikita said: Socio's find abusive behaviour amusing, as long as they are not the one's on the recieving end of the abuse.

    There's a line between being abused and being powerless. A proper sociopath would be able to discern a way of turning such an event on its head, all the while chuckling that someone had the audacity to even have a go at them.


    Rating sixteen traits on a three point per trait scale, with zero being disagree, one being sometimes, and two being usually, these were my results.

    1. 2
    2. 1
    3. 1
    4. 2
    5. 1
    6. 2
    7. 2
    8. 2
    9. 2
    10. 1
    11. 2
    12. 1
    ------
    19/24

    Optionals
    13. 1
    14. 2
    15. 2
    16. 2
    ------
    7/8

    Total = 26 out of 32 possible trait points.

    How did you folks fair?

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  81. For comparison, i did it and scored 13.

    1. 1
    2. 1
    3. 1
    4. 1
    5. 0
    6. 0
    7. 1
    8. 2
    9. 0
    10. 0
    11. 1
    12. 2
    13. 0
    14. 1
    15. 1
    16. 1

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  82. addendum: 1 and 2 could have scored 2s. but i erred on the side of 'i am not a sociopath,' so gave them a 1. lol. but i'll stick with 'sometimes' on those.

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  83. There was a purpose for the point system, and I'm glad to see the first example from a non socio.


    I think the point system is better than the blanket statements, as a lot of people have such traits applied to them, but the frequency in which they utilize such is probably substantially lower than the Average Sociopath Joe

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  84. I get it, you don't agree with me. Maybe i am wrong. Maybe the guy gets something out of his wife so he wants to keep her. But he didn't say. He only said that i need money to sustain my wife. That's what i got from that. I, for one, wouldn't sustain that way noone. I have been taken care of my whole life and i know i wouldn't return the favour for anyone. But that's just me.

    Anyways. The problem is with that anon that picked on me for saying what i said. Hey dude, if you have a hunch for anyone around here feel free to let it out. I don't think that anyone around here needs a defender. WTF???

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  85. I can't decide whether to lambaste him for the earlier One True Sociopath fallacy, or laud him for that penultimate sentence.

    I'll just laugh derisively and call it a draw.

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  86. Dude, is that you in the picture? Postmodern? And if not, how old are you?

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  87. The man in the picture is Jacques Derrida.

    I'm 21.

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  88. Give me a famous quote of him. Please.

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  89. "Monsters cannot be announced. One cannot say: 'here are our monsters', without immediately turning the monsters into pets."

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  90. That's cool, and it has so much meaning. Why is he so all over you?

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  91. There's a line between being abused and being powerless. A proper sociopath would be able to discern a way of turning such an event on its head, all the while chuckling that someone had the audacity to even have a go at them.


    So your not a proper sociopath (NotAble)? lol

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  92. 1.2
    2.2
    3.2
    4.1
    5.0
    6.1
    7.2
    8.2
    9.2
    10.1
    11.2
    12.2

    19/24

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  93. Do any of you guys have the PDF version of Martha Stout's "Sociopath next door" that i can "borrow". Please.

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  94. Actors can cry, even summon up experiences real or made up, to get into any role on demand. Guess its more than just a skin when they stay in character for some time. Seems I've answered my own question yet again,.
    Has there been any study and comparison between the traits required for methods of acting and sociopathy? Can empaths or neurotypicals act(well)?

    Interesting that statement about "monsters." Can be applied to almost anything.

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  95. Pythias, do you curb your sociopath characteristics (which for you is.....) in your marriage? I presume your husband is normal?

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  96. Nikita were the answers for you or him?

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  97. this i know said...
    Nikita were the answers for you or him?

    For me of course :)

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  98. Are you russian Nikita ?

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  99. @Gag
    Yes, my husband is an nt. Early on I actually drew greatly on my ability to manipulate (I am a girl, after all), but now that I have established our roles and behaviors, I really don't. He is not my prey. He is my partner and a tool in my belt and significant real-person cred.

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  100. notme said...
    'It's not you that I'm obsessed with. It's Zoe.'

    well, she's a lovely lady.


    why thank you, notme. you are lovely too.

    you too, anonymous.

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  101. I'm 21.

    So many youngin's on this site. Surprise surprise.

    By the way, I stumbled across this the other day.

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  102. The fact that the site has a heavy metal section had me laughing.

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  103. Aside from the rectal humour, this gem made my day:

    "A tree, in rune form, because trees are the ultimate nihilists."

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  104. Those are mostly black/death metal sites.

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  105. Idiots, all of them. I hope they choke on their own shit.

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  106. Do you think it gets tougher to identify many sociopaths as they age and accumulate knowledge?

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  107. Probably. It's said they mellow as they age. Though its likely they have some rep that follows them.

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  108. The older you are, the less socially acceptable it is to be aggressive and ruthless.

    If anything, there is more of an emphasis on subtlety. It usually works, anyway.

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  109. Use of sarcastic humor to demean, humiliate or identify other sociopaths. We have a special way of talking, which ties into double meanings and disconnect between what we say and act.

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  110. Can flip flop between keeping a very low profile (the observer) to being the life of the party (the actor).


    lol, I got this one very strong

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  111. Why would M.E., a sociopath, want to help others identify sociopaths?

    Such betrayal, M.E. :'(

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  112. good point. general cheekiness or he's a cerebral narcissist and can't help himself. interesting...

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  113. Because some of us would rather be known and accepted for what we are to no fault of our own, instead of being obliged to live within a web of shadows and lies to ease the conscious of those close to us.

    It is a tough thing, telling a loved one what you are, and even tougher to explain it. I know this is a bit off topic, and I apologize for the rant.

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  114. Could be anything, but could also be making a point that there's really is no way to identify people so definitively.

    The "sociopaths" who readily identify themselves by answering these surveys and affirming M.E.'s conclusions, however, may be more akin to narcissists, though.

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  115. It is a tough thing, telling a loved one what you are, and even tougher to explain it. I know this is a bit off topic, and I apologize for the rant.

    Why accept a loaded label with such stigma attached to it then? It might be easier to simply explain your behaviour in nominal terms, rather than giving it a name. People more readily accept characteristics than they do labels.

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  116. (I meant normative, not nominal)

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  117. That's basically what I did. I didn't say sociopath/psychopath, just that, "This is how I really am * insert lots of dialog explaining such*. It might be this thing called ASPD."

    Wearing masks is all good fun, but sometimes you just want to take it off, be able to breathe around someone you're fond of, and let loose. I don't think it's so much from fatigue, but constant annoyance.

    I've no qualms with labels, though. People not willing to look past them have no place in my circle of friends and loved ones.

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  118. Perhaps it just takes time. Prior to now, illnesses such as Bipolar and Schizophrenia have been looked upon quite negatively, but now have become much more acceptable as a medical condition than before, especially considering some convicted murderers had been bipolar/schizophrenic.

    I would say that the stigma attached to ASPD is arguably much more difficult to dispel, however, considering the value society places on empathy, which people often associate with morality/ethics.

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  119. I think what irks me the most is that somehow we are to blame for being what we are. It is not as simple as suppressing the urge to eat when you are hungry.

    It's how our very brains are wired, what we process, how we categorize, what we notice that others don't. For all intents and purposes, we are quite different upstairs, and most of us aren't bent out of shape that we are.

    Yet since our own survival and well being is our prime programming, and it is a state or amorality, not immorality, we have shackles cast upon us, like a son inheriting the sins and debts of a father (sometimes literally, genetically speaking). It's not anger, and lashing out. Just a shrug and a sigh.

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  120. i have to say that i think you're envisaging a battle you will never win.
    you think it is just you that has to hide their real self? no. anyone with a (PD-i'll call it that for the sake of argument) has to live in the shadows to a degree. or anyone a little different in any other way.

    yes, the medical world is bringing these non-neuro-typicals to light more and more, but general society simply has no sympathy. the game is always about blending in.

    i don't know why you want to be so accepted by everyone. you won't be. only by individuals in your lives, hopefully.

    i thought that sociopaths survived because of being in the shadows.
    However, there are people in the world who will understand your personality, and that is all you need.

    from my perspective, i see sociopathy as potentially a great asset to our society. so, let's not get all self-pitying about it.

    and by the way, enlightened people will never blame you for what you are. personally, i do not believe in free will, not in any serious way that impacts my analysis of my decisions in life.

    Notable, i apologise if i seem like i'm talking out of line, since i don't know your experience specifically and never will. but i do know what it's like to be different and in all honesty, i have rarely ever complained about other people's inability to understand me. i've been called crazy etc. and it hurts, as it's just one image of me when i also have so many others. but guess what? the people who know me truly, know all sides to me and know i'm not actually crazy, just highly sensitive. that's all that matters.

    how have people in your life reacted to you telling them what you are? badly?

    shit, long post. :D

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  121. Or, we could wait for the day we're all genetically engineered to be the same and are given soma to quell our distress and impulses.

    general society simply has no sympathy. the game is always about blending in.

    I wouldn't necessarily say that "the game" is "always" about blending in. For the most part, yes, but that also depends on the type of society you're a part of. Artists and musicians are typically valued for their eccentricities and originality, while politics is often quite the opposite.

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  122. something happen to your post, notme?

    DEMONS I say!

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  123. lol. i was going to address the entertainment world actually but chose not to.

    from a safe distance, people love people who are different, yes. but alongside them, they become a handful.

    why else are there so many narcissists and eccentrics on our screens? because they are literally larger than life.
    standard lives do not accomodate these people's needs.

    politics is full of sociopaths. you sort of rule the world, which is fine, though many people will hate you for it, you have a license to do what you want.

    my previous post has dissapeared from my screen, so i'm glad it posted. dunno what's up with that.

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  124. Sociopaths genetically disappearing off the face of the earth thanks to genetic engineering?

    There have been worse crimes committed :P

    I don't know if I'd like the prospect of being 'normalized'. It sounds dreadful.

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  125. DEMONS I say!

    bloody aspies.~

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  126. where the flip is my post? all that effort... :(

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  127. Notable, did you see my longer post? i asked you some questions in it.

    oh yeah, how have people in your life reacted to you telling them what you are, if you have?

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  128. I missed it, notme. aspies ate your post.

    My Father seemed relieved. Apparently he thought I was a hard drug addict or something silly like that. I'm not sure why he came to that conclusion, other than, "something always seemed off."

    Most people usually don't seem to care much, presented in that fashion. One person though no longer contacts me, and tries to ignore my existence. Thus, the stigma of labels. Oh well.

    I think the most compelling relation is with my fellow socio coworker. We talk a lot, about life in general through the lens of a 'path. Kindred spirits, if you will.

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  129. You don't often imagine a father thinking "Oh good heavens you're only a sociopath, boy am I relieved you're not some drug addict!" That thought amuses me.

    It's true though, being an addict must be a miserable existence.

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  130. by pale comparison, i shall begrudgingly rehash my demonically possessed post.

    why do you care if people don't accept who you truly are. general society will not. only individuals in your life will, hopefully. (as you just said).

    also, sociopaths survive by being in the shadows. it's who you must be, and you thrive on secrecy.

    i'm called crazy sometimes when people meet me, but people close to me know i'm just highly sensitive and reactive. it hurts to be reduced and dismissed, but i've rarely complained that others don't always understand me.

    we always reduce each other to labels of our own, a medical diagnosis is meaningless in the real world and won't garner sympathy from the majority of people.

    also, informed, enlightened individuals will never blame you for what you are. the free will brigade are imbeciles and privaledged to have a balanced enough mind to entertain such myths. personally, it doesn't mean anything to me.

    if my post reappears, i'm gonna shoot myself. just to warn you all.

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  131. lol. my mother thought i must have been raped (before the incident i mentioned before) since i used to get so withdrawn when i was younger.
    she was like, 'what's wrong with you, have you been raped?' it's funny how parents expect what they think is the worst case scenario, when really, there are so many other ways someone can get screwed up.
    they don't think it's them for example, just some outside enemy force that's hijacked their child.

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  132. Well, in the case of aspies... it really is.~

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  133. I'm annoyed with something I don't have control over. Perhaps something you've heard a few times here.

    Not being opportunistic, not doing what I can to have a good life in the name of norms and morals that don't compel me, is so ridiculous I can barely stand to bother on a conscious level, let alone subconscious level. Thank goodness for Impression Management or I'd be a 'lost cause'.

    It's not something I wear on my sleeve, but if I or someone else chose to, it shouldn't be the equivalent of the mark of the damned.

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  134. lol!!!
    where's Aspie to defend himself.

    also, what happened to Empath? i think Notable is responsible.~

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  135. Notable's song of the day.

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  136. the fact that you have no empathy?

    that's not a bad thing in and of itself, it's only what it possibly leads to, that society doesn't accept.

    i obviously admire it, but when it's transparent it's very admirable. i just don't like hypocrisy, and false empathy.

    i hate being diluted. i have to put on an act too, i'm crap at it sometimes, but i have to for self-preservation. i think that's what you don't like - being compromised.
    diddums.~

    born free - maybe that's the greatest myth.

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  137. She's been trolling my blog. I don't think she realizes that she's been helping me, inadvertently.

    Er... what's so funny about my post, notme?

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  138. oh no, my lol!!! was to no one's joke. i'd never laugh at you pouring your heart out sweetie-pie.
    :)

    trolling your blog? is she Nikita or something? boy you're a suspicious so and so.

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  139. I quite like Nikita's comments. Short and sweet with a tinge of subdued bitterness. Someone must have really hurt her to produce such a lovely composition of biting angst.

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  140. haha. i agree.

    i like everyone's contributions here actually. but then, i'm easily pleased sometimes.

    everyone has their own character. it's amusing.

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  141. I just remind myself that she's just a bitter cunt, and it brightens my day.

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  142. who, Empath?

    do you think i'm a bitter cunt, or just a goofy labrador? :)

    how has she been inadvertently helping you Notable? of course, you probably won't tell me, being a man of mystery and all.

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  143. Notable. i've left you a little present on your blog. you're welcome.

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  144. You're a doll.

    I don't think you're either, frankly. Just someone here for fun, insight and stories. Am I wrong?

    ReplyDelete
  145. perfect answer. you pass.

    did you like my present? you can delete it. i was just being cheeky. :D

    ReplyDelete
  146. Delete you?

    That's cute.

    I smiled.

    Cheeky is fine so long as it's the right cheeks.

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  147. yay i made you smile.

    yes, i have the right cheeks. :)

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  148. Goddamn, woman. Now I need a smoke.

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  149. hehe. go smoke. enjoy.

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  150. @No one

    Actually sociopaths will identify on the internet since there is a disconnect between the virtual world and reality.

    Anything said here will have no practical consequences in their real life.

    If we started using real names and pictures this blog would die.

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  151. Just found your blog and have found very interesting to read.

    As a non-scociopath I took your test and decided to post the results for those interested (probably no-one.

    1. Sociopaths typically don't smalltalk about themselves as much as normal people do. They will direct the conversation back to the new acquaintance as much as they can.
    2
    2. A sociopath will reveal "personal" details about himself strategically, i.e. for the purposes of misdirection or a false sense of intimacy/trust. Revelations of actual truths are very rare and may be perceived as a small slip of the mask.
    1
    3. Sociopaths frequently hesitate before responding. It will be unclear to you whether they are bored, annoyed, lying, or all three.
    2
    4. No strong reactions to illogical hotbed political/social topics (e.g. Octomom or Catholic priest child molestation).
    2
    5. Monotone voice (I am told).
    2
    6. A tendency to take things too literally or otherwise not respond appropriately to small emotional cues.
    2
    7. Cold indifference to one or more family members.
    2
    8. Seemingly a different person when "distracted."
    1 haven't been told
    9. Disconnect between what the sociopath says and does, e.g. seems charitable but does not give money to homeless or vice versa.
    2
    10. Never shows signs of embarrassment. Easily wins over large crowds with confidence. "Poise" in this case = lack of nerves.
    2
    11. Does not fit stereotypes for gender, race, ethnicity, religion, age, sexual orientation, or career. Could seem foreign, bisexual, older or younger, pious, wealthy or poor, but may also just seem unplaceable.
    2 judging by what other people tell me
    12. Can flip flop between keeping a very low profile (the observer) to being the life of the party (the actor).
    2

    22/24

    13. Can often appear to be tender, loving, or passionate, yet able to switch to completely self-centered, cold and unapologetic on a dime, and vice versa.
    2 Barring my boyfriend vary rarely show loving, passionate or loving tendanies that aren't obligations anyway.

    14. Seemingly able to relate to almost anyone's issues in some capacity, from a logical standpoint, and apt to give advice if needed.
    2

    15. (Related to 14) When not being able to relate to someone's issues, will instead be highly inquisitive as opposed to empathetic, seeming to want to know more about the issue than comforting and helping the person.
    1 well I probably appear highly inquisitve just to get the facts to help the person (depending on who it is)

    16. Well versed in giving advice on social manipulations in the guise of "help" to friends, loved ones, and family, with great enthusiasm instead of hesitancy.
    1 most of my advice is rather logical, and straight foward - plus any adive that falls under social manipulations is given to spark a reaction to make them do the logical advice.

    6/8

    This is probably just showing how ant-social I am more than anything else.

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  152. from my perspective, i see sociopathy as potentially a great asset to our society. so, let's not get all self-pitying about it.


    I guess we're going to have to give you one of the "Psychophant" t-shirts, notme.

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  153. Just to note, I spent some time with my socio today. It's still very nice when we're together. We still love one another.

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  154. Actually sociopaths will identify on the internet since there is a disconnect between the virtual world and reality.

    Sure, and if I claim to be God, I'm sure you'd believe me too.

    Knowing the possible negative consequences of being "outed" is enough for me not to participate in these shenanigans, assuming I'm a sociopath of course :)

    As for practical consequences; I suppose you're not aware that ISP's log all transmitted data from their clients which may be subpoenaed by the court.

    (word verification: "gummy")

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  155. my bleeding post reappeard. the demon was exorcised. why does that happen? maybe ME vets posts. hmm.

    the same thing happened to an anon's comment on today's post.

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  156. Aerianne.

    i'm not really a pyschophant. i just appreciate everyone's role.
    i don't always like it, but i understand it.
    and it's not easy to accept either.

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  157. @Noone

    That's why smart ones use VPN, proxy or my personal fav the public library. Also I highly doubt there will be a low functioning path providing a detailed account of his exploits that could be used as evidence for courts to use on this site.

    Well if you support polytheism, I agree with you. Since I am God too.

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  158. What I would find hard to believe is someone from a law enforcement agency reading these comments and believing any of it, to the point of tracking them down and attempting an arrest.

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  159. I am not now, nor have I ever been a sociopath, psychopath, or jay-walker.~

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  160. Oh, and on another note: You didn't find it hard to believe when you deleted your comments about racially motivated violence. :P

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  161. The biggest clue that your dealing with a sociopath is the smile.A sociopaths smile looks completely unnatural it's similar to the jokers.It's more of a smirk think of dick cheney,ted bundy,george bush,kenneth bianchi.

    ReplyDelete
  162. You've been watching too many movies, GRK.

    What I would find hard to believe is someone from a law enforcement agency reading these comments and believing any of it, to the point of tracking them down and attempting an arrest.

    That's not what I meant. Suppose one of M.E.'s idiot groupies actually went out and committed a crime and had a search warrant filed against them, which may include a subpoena. Its happened before.

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  163. @no one So are you saying this is false? Then your an idiot every sociopath will have a creepy smirk i guarantee you.Stop pretending.

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  164. How about lack of sexual drive? I can use my sexual assets to get my goal, but unless I slip a little from drugs such as alcohol... I don't seem to enjoy pursuing sex. I just don't see the cost such as time and energy worth it in the overall equation.

    I will engage in one night stands to take care of my physical needs, but I just don't have a drive to commit to a long term relationship, love or pursue sex unless it is convenient and provided on a platter with no strings attached. I guess the emotional attachment or connection is lacking. I am 22 and went through about 80 bodies, I mean partners.

    Any perspective on this fellow ASPDs?

    I have been accused of being gay, but I just aren't motivated when I am completely sober to pursue anything.

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  165. the king

    you should post your comment/question on the latest blog post. that way, you're more likely to receive input.

    most people don't re-visit old posts.

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  166. @The King:

    I'm in the same exact boat as you, almost to the T. It's not universally sociopathic, but it is very common.

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  167. DON'T FORGET THE EYES, blank stare

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  168. 11/12 I can feel embarrassment if I believe I have done wrong.

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  169. This thread is really bizarre.

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  170. We know who you are. We know what you do.

    We are watching you.

    I am out there looking for you SOBs, what is worse than a sociopath is someone who has been abused by them for years.

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  171. I am struggling with identifying if someone I know is a sociopath. He definitely possesses so many of the listed traits, from constant lying, manipulation,impulsiveness, and a parasitic life style. And many of his actions seem cold and unfeeling, and he tends to write people off, having no contact with anyone from his childhood or college years. However, I have seen him embarrassed and I have seen him moved to tears on occasion when confronted in a vulnerable, non-threatening way, with the pain he has inflicted on another. I know it could be reasoned he was only acting in order to get some kind of pay-off (via manipulation, however, in the situations I'm referring to, there was no payoff to be had. Is this even possible for a sociopath? Have any of you experienced feeling embarrassed or any kind of remorse? I do know he struggles deeply with insecurity and he will react in extreme ways (something comparable to an adult having a tantrum)when he feels attacked by someone, or as a tool to deflect when he doesn't want to be wrong. But I'm just wondering if perhaps he is just so crippled by insecurity that he is driven to these sociopathic type behaviors to do things that give him a sense of power in order to cope. Could it be just a behavior and not true sociopathic condition?

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  172. This text is written by a high functioning sociopath & the main aim of this sociopath is to connect with other people via this post, He is trying to manipulate the readers into believing that they are sociopaths, and as a consequence connecting with the author who is a high functioning prototype psychopath....... YOO GUD TRY YA SOCIO!!!!! Nothingness feels weird! ain't it..........

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  173. Hesitates before answering.

    Well, that depends on the situation and the topic. And empathic normal people do it too.
    So it's non conclusive.

    But not a bad list, M.E.! Some of the points are almost uncomfortably close ... uncomfortable as in not suitable for public discussion. Hehe...

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  174. Perfect!!It's all very true. But please don't reveal them to anyone ;)

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  175. I have a problem with No. 11,

    “Does not fit stereotypes for gender, race, ethnicity, religion, age, sexual orientation, or career. Could seem foreign, bisexual, older or younger, pious, wealthy or poor, but may also just seem unplaceable."

    My problem is with the word 'Stereotypes' and the context it is used in; I believe stereotypes have been the downfall of society. People are individuals, no one person has ever fit into a certain stereotype, nor should they. The media is big on stereotypes as well. An example, black or white, good or bad, right or wrong, etc... In the end, the public has two-false choices. The misunderstanding, misinformation and misrepresentation are forever taking place because of stereotyping. As if the only way for people to understand a thing is to wrap it in a nice package and hand it to them. People understand stereotypes; therefore, they judge based solely on a stereotype.
    I wish we could all get away from doing this. Issues, current events, problems at home or work, and in society and the world are complicated. Very complicated, some have no solution, others have more than 1 or 2 solutions, but no one can get to the heart of an issue because the word stereotype. Stereotypes allow one to view from one or two lens, but what is needed is to see the forest and not be blinded by the trees. For instance, No. 1 said that sociopaths..."will direct the conversation back to the new acquaintance as much as they can."
    However, as a car salesperson my job is to get the customer talking about their selves, while showing interest in who they are, what they like, what their opinion might be, etc.. Why? To build trust and for them to like me. If I listen and show interest the potential buyer will always buy a vehicle from someone they like. That said, I realize the author made clear that "I don't think all of these would apply to all sociopaths, and certainly many of them apply to people who aren't sociopaths..."
    Which is my point as well, no one fits into a box, (Stereotype) as soon as the public fully understands this, and maybe a better public discourse will be underway.

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  176. I identify with every single thing on this list, including 13-16.

    Guess that makes me a sociopath doesn't it?

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  177. I'm annoyed that i can relate to all the points, especially 14-15. I was hoping i would have aspects of my personality which weren't controlled by this "disorder". It means i'm exactly the same as the other millions of sociopaths out there.

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  178. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  179. In my experience, autistics can spot psychopaths a mile off. There's an invisible social hierarchy that shapes the reality of most people; psychos use it to their advantage but they transparently aren't part of it. Borderline personality disorder girls are acting in a slightly different way - more 'realtime', less persona. Both are fascinating.

    Far more scary than anyone with a label are regular crazy normals with spiky egos who have issues with all kinds of things so you have to play nice around them. The undifferentiated majority who'll torture and abuse not for fun or profit, or to learn how to make a better world, but because someone told them to. My blood runs cold.

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  180. This list makes a lot of sense to me. I was involved with a high functioning sociopath for two years and I could have written this list myself. It's a very well-crafted list of traits that certainly describe my friend.

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  181. As I am reading some of your comments about this subject I am appalled. This crap is real that some of you guys are poking fun of or making jokes about. If you're visiting this site, there's obviously some issues going on within or very close near, and this subject should be taken seriously. That is just my opinion and you know what they say... Anyways...
    As a parent of a 12 year old who cannot be diagnosed yet; although 3 psych evaluations support this diagnosis; I am desperately looking for serious feedback on methods or tactics(anything) to divert his behavior. I've tried numerous behavior modification techniques and have been unsuccessful. I don't want to just write him off. I need help if anyone has any ideas. Seriously.
    Thanks

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  182. I think i might be a sociopath.
    I think i do: 2,3,6,7,9,10,11,12

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  183. I feel horrible (well, not really), knowing that virtually all of those traits describe me well and right. I'm meaning to have a nice chat session with my psychologist on Wednesday, assuming that I'm able to be open and feel manic enough to trust in another human being.

    I've written down a list of noticeable behaviors from my childhood into adolescence, and the trend is quite unsettling. I feel like, somewhere amidst a decade of being bullied by my peers and abused by my sister, I've lost something of myself. I don't cry the way I used to when I was little. Death has no effect on me, even though I see it monthly at the hospital I work in. I've snacked on Animal Crackers while watching people bleed and cry and have their stomachs opened up.

    Eh. I don't know what to do. I can hardly say that I feel bad about how I am - I dislike some of my inadequacies and weaknesses. I feel more hollow than ever before. I want things to go back to how they were when I was young, although I've not a clue of which way I should take in getting back.

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  184. This is quite silly. Those traits also apply to someone in shock or mourning, and thus create a high enough false positive rate to render the checklist useless. I'd suggest for anyone seriously interested to read up on the slightly more reliable Hare Psychopathy checklist. And in regard to spotting before they spot you, watch the documentary I, Psychopath. Empaths just give themselves away, especially those who are victims of trauma.

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  185. 17.(?)The "sociopath smile" they have when they know they've beaten their victim.

    And those intense "evil eys" they get when they don't get what they want.

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  186. Wow, I believe from my many years of interest in observing human behavior that some of your spotting techniques are spot on. What is really fascinating is that our government has been profiling them and using them for black operations against against U.S. citizens for decades "see gang stalking or COINTELPRO". This happens in every city and town in the U.S. and requires people that have the ability to stalk, harass, and destroy whoever the FBI or now Homeland Security tells them to target. Part of the harassment requires the smirk and evil eyes and no feelings of mercy for the victims. Leave it to the government to turn everything into a weapon.

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  187. Interesting blog. A recently gained acquiantance of mine just half randomly said she thought she was some sort of a sociopath. Seemed to not be ashamed or anything. Then again I am quite analytical and indifferent to most people as well, except maybe just "normally" socially inept. So she propably noticed that as she then proceeded to talk about gore and whatnot. Quite amusing. I noticed her seemingly trying to exploit something I told later, but I am very unsure about the motivation behind that. It wasn't a big deal though. Can't wait to see what happens next. These people are so interesting compared to normal people. [/psychiathry fan]
    Good thing I have a skill in turning insults and whatnot into jokes if those start appearing.

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  188. Psychopaths who admit it are pretty poor psychopaths. Often they'll have other problems and are trying to convince themselves they have some control.

    I like them for the fun but ultimately they're very limited, they always reach a breaking point before I feel it's strictly necessary. Diversity of crazy people is always good though!

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  189. If I've pinpointed sociopaths correctly, I'd say something about them isn't fragrant. Although some may stink.

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  190. "I have a theory of where Sociopathy originated, just a theory.

    The Nephilim were on the earth in those days-and also afterward- when the sons of God went to the daughters of man and had children with them. They were the heros of old, men of renown.
    Genesis 6:4"

    Do sociopaths play a lot of videogames ?

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  191. @Ooki I'm pretty sure most don't. I myself do, but not for the fun. I play them to manipulate my opponents. IMO most are going to seek real life situations.

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