Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Sexuality and sociopathy

Sociopathy is a personality disorder. We are unusually impressionable, very flexible with our sense of self, and with our defining characteristics. Because we don't have a rigid self-image or worldview, we don't observe social norms, we don't have a moral compass, and we have a fluid definition of right and wrong. We can also be shapeshifters, smooth-talking, and charming. We can become your ideal mate, in a way described here and here. We do not have an established default position on anything. This extends, at least in some degree, to our sexuality.

The original diagnostic and statistical manual (DSM), released in 1952, listed homosexuality as a sociopathic personality disturbance. The connection between the two was subsequently removed due to protests from the gay community that homosexuality was being equated with sociopathy. Many have commented since that sociopaths seem to have no particular sexual identity, that even the term bisexual is misleading as it implies some sort of a preference, albeit a shared one, and that "equal opportunity" is a more apt label. In fact, the sociopath seems to be the bonobo of the human world -- frequent, casual, utilitarian sex. As one person reasoned, "such an individual, in their quest for dominance and power would not feel the need to discriminate according to gender."

We see fictional examples of the sociopathic "bisexual" with the talented Mr. Ripley, Joker from Batman (depending on who writes him), and real life examples with Leopold and Loeb and others listed here. If I had to speculate about current celebrities, I would also include Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, and Lindsay Lohan, although narcissism could apply equally well for some of those.

I was thinking about all of this while reading an article on Sir Laurence Olivier's sexual predilections. Although married three times, he apparently also had many male interests, one of whom explained it as follows:
"He's like a blank page and he'll be whatever you want him to be. He'll wait for you to give him a cue, and then he'll try to be that sort of person."
Maybe larry wasn't a sociopath, maybe he was, but he shared with sociopaths the common characteristic of a weak sense of self, and he illustrates well how that might play out with one's sexual identity. In any case, the lesson learned here is not only does being a sociopath potentially make you a great thespian, it also gives new meaning to the old consolation, "there are plenty more fish in the sea."

47 comments:

  1. Daniel BirdickMay 28, 2009 07:47 AM
    One advantage of having a flexible sense of self is seeing how illusory the self really is. Some of the latest findings in neuroscience, not to mention the insights of religious monastics from both East and West, indicate that there is in fact no self, at least not in the way most people believe. Ironically, this so called “disorder” makes it easier for the sociopath to clearly see and take full advantage of, the actual nature of personal identity.
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  2. We are the sea contained in one fish.
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  3. To the anon post above, was that a reference to a higher being?, if not can you explain.
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  4. Daniel BirdickMay 29, 2009 07:57 AM
    Tinkerbelle it sounds like some kind of pseudo-Zenny "pearl of wisdom" about one person being the universe and all is one and so on. In other words, it sounds like bullshit.
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  5. Daniel BirdickMay 30, 2009 05:25 PM
    This post stayed with me because I believe it encapsulates one of the “sociopath’s” defining characteristics: the inability to believe in self. “Normal’s” have a more or less static sense of self. This sense of self includes but is not limited to beliefs about morality, politics, religion, and of course sexuality and gender. “Sociopaths”, not so much. My theory is that “sociopaths” are unable to believe the story the left hemisphere of the brain constantly spins about who and what the self is the way “normals” do. The aware “sociopath” knows he/she is wearing a mask. The “normals” believe the mask they wear is who they really are. The aware “sociopath” has a better chance of understanding humanity’s true nature as a result of his/her inability to believe while “normals” live and die by the cobweb of illusion their brains ceaselessly spin about the self. Metaphorically speaking, the aware and intelligent “socio/psychopath” is the last of mankind’s prophets. Their very existence serves as a living testimony to the nihilistic truth of the universe.

    Mark Twain said it well, (if a little melodramatically): “you are but a thought -- a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!"
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  6. Mr Birdick....what make's you happy?
    If sociopaths believe in nothingness and have no sense of self....what do you actually enjoy in life except "ruining" those around you. I did think that your post had a point, i understood your perspective, i really did, however what is there to look forward to in life if the left side of the brains hemisphere doesn't constantly spin a sense of self? Is life pointless?, You have me thinking now.
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  7. Daniel BirdickMay 31, 2009 11:08 AM
    Hello Tinkerbelle.

    What makes me happy? Jamaica Delights. Watching the sun rise over the ocean. The rich green color of freshly cut grass. Good music. A well delivered punch line. Cheesecake. Brilliant acting. A perfectly cooked T-bone steak. An expertly crafted movie, one where all the elements that go into great filmmaking are there on the screen. Watching my little niece run happily toward me. Devising effective stratagems to deal with the ceaseless power game that passes for “human adulthood”. I could go on and on, but you get the point. I enjoy many of the kinds of things I suspect you enjoy. I just don’t need to indulge in just so stories, like “Daniel is a republican, democrat, straight, gay, bi, would never kill, hates lying, and so on” to experience that enjoyment.

    Is life pointless? Yeah, it is. Meaning and purpose are nothing more than products of the human consciousness, which is itself prone to self deception and delusion. (Witness the spectacle of billions of people all over the globe prostrating themselves before their invisible friends for instance.) Fortunately, it isn’t necessary to believe in meaning, purpose, morality or “selfhood” to enjoy the exchange of ideas or take delight in the taste of ice cream on a hot summer day or have great sex.

    This may very well be one of the main things that bother “normals” about “sociopaths”. We at least have the potential to enjoy many of the things they enjoy without the baggage of having to negotiate with an inborn conscience. This fact may gall them because it makes a mockery of all their precious beliefs about morality and meaning.
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  8. If life really is pointless we all may as well lay down and die this very second. Why waste one's time? I've often pondered the "point". Sociopaths don't offend me with their views, people are who they are. Besides the topic is a damn good juicy debate!
    I just think to myself that its ashame sometimes thats all (not in a condescending manner)...I can only imagine sociopathy to be like only ever watching black and white film's. Beautiful no doubt, yet two tone, empathy is like experiencing a film in burts of technicolour. Creativity stems from emotion.

    Maybe sociopathy misses the "point". Then again maybe not?...who truely knows?
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  9. Oh how rude of me...Hello to you too Mr Birdick. T.
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  10. Daniel BirdickMay 31, 2009 02:55 PM
    Hi Tinkerbelle. You're right. These kinds of discussions are fascinating. It gives me an opportunity to exercise my mental muscles. Thanks for being my "spotter", so to speak. ;-)

    Now to address your comments-

    Tinkerbelle said: “If life really is pointless we all may as well lay down and die this very second.”

    Is that true? Are you certain that this must be the inevitable outcome of discovering that life is meaningless? That would be akin to a 12 year old deciding that she’s never going to celebrate Christmas again after finding out that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. That would be a valid option, like any other, but not a necessary one.

    “Why waste one's time?”

    Why not? Besides, it’s only a waste if you define it as such. You have far greater power to define your personal experience of life than you know.

    “I can only imagine sociopathy to be like only ever watching black and white film's. Beautiful no doubt, yet two tone, empathy is like experiencing a film in burts of technicolour. Creativity stems from emotion.”

    You could be right. Even if you are right, even if “normals” greater facility for empathy is makes their experience of life richer, that doesn’t make it any truer and that’s my “point”. Emotions are no more an indicator of truth than speaking in tongues is an indicator that god exists. Being honest with myself is my highest value. Truth is what matters to me, not pretty lies. Even if I wanted to believe the fairytales others guide their lives by, I’ve discovered that I am incapable of it. Take empathy for example. Empathy literally means to vicariously experience the feelings of others. Your brain calculates what it might be like to feel what someone else is feeling and creates that experience within you. The literal experience of empathy is an evolutionary adaptation which I believe stems from the human drive to bond with other humans. But here’s the rub. You can’t really experience another person’s subjective state. You can only ever experience yourself and your own projections. So in a sense, empathy is as deceptive as morality is. Which again, is my point. The aware “sociopath” doesn’t miss the point because there isn’t one to miss.
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  11. " we are unusually impressionable, very flexible with our sense of self, and our defining characteristics. "

    It's odd, but I noticed a few months ago that I am basically just myself compiling the information I get that is good and sucking the best from anything I read, watch, hear, etc. (It backfires sometimes when I am not with enough resources to tell when something isn't 'good'.)

    Oddly I was actually doing this without even noticing myself.

    I'm not sure that applies as a 'flexible sense of self'. It does seem more like a perfectionist complex--instead of the other--though.
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  12. Daniel BirdickJun 2, 2009 12:39 PM
    Life said: “It's odd, but I noticed a few months ago that I am basically just myself compiling the information I get that is good and sucking the best from anything I read, watch, hear, etc. (It backfires sometimes when I am not with enough resources to tell when something isn't 'good'.)

    Oddly I was actually doing this without even noticing myself.”

    Actually I do this as well, with everything I come across. I have a more reliable set of concepts by which to judge ideas as they come in now (reason and reason’s child science) which help me out.

    I’m guessing you don’t judge the ideas that you take in by how they cohere with your predetermined sense of self. Maybe that’s the connection.
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  13. " I have a more reliable set of concepts by which to judge ideas as they come in now (reason and reason’s child science) which help me out. "

    Yes, as do I. I use Science and Reason (and logic, but that sort goes with reason) to judge the concepts. However, sometimes I tend to misinterpret something and misjudge it. Or I don't have the true Science of the situation. i.e. false information.

    "I’m guessing you don’t judge the ideas that you take in by how they cohere with your predetermined sense of self. Maybe that’s the connection."

    Well, I'm not sure I understood this correctly. Are you saying that I don't judge ideas by the predetermined ideas I already take in? In that case, yes (if we exclude logic, reasoning and science as ideas)
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  14. Daniel BirdickJun 23, 2009 10:39 AM
    “Yes, as do I. I use Science and Reason (and logic, but that sort goes with reason) to judge the concepts. However, sometimes I tend to misinterpret something and misjudge it. Or I don't have the true Science of the situation. i.e. false information.”

    I hear you man. I prefer a skeptical kind of rationality precisely because of my tendency to believe the irrational otherwise. I'm very human in that sense.

    “Well, I'm not sure I understood this correctly. Are you saying that I don't judge ideas by the predetermined ideas I already take in? In that case, yes (if we exclude logic, reasoning and science as ideas)”

    Within the context of a flexible sense of identity, what I was trying to clumsily suggest was that you don’t decide something is true based upon whether or not it props up your beliefs about who you think you are. I believe most normals judge truth claims based on whether it validates their sense of identity. The stronger the complex of beliefs about their identity is, the more close minded they are to any ideas/facts which might contradict those beliefs. All the facts/reason/logic in the world won’t move them if it in any way threatens their self defining beliefs.
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  15. Sociopaths and sex

    In her book, Matos seems to accept the statement that James McGreevey is gay. I do not. As I said, I believe the man is a sociopath. I also believe that many sociopaths are neither straight nor gay. In fact, it’s not even fair to call them bisexual.

    Sociopaths have an extremely high need for stimulation, so they’ll get sex wherever they can. And, sociopaths are adept at using sex to control people. So I don’t think they’re really attracted to anyone. They use people for sex, and they use sex to get what they want.

    Shortly after I met my ex-husband, James Montgomery, he proclaimed to me, “I don’t have a gay bone in my body.” I later learned that, along with his multitude of affairs with women, he solicited gay male prostitutes.

    Lovefraud has received numerous e-mails from women involved with sociopaths who discovered that not only was their partner cheating on them, but was cheating with men. Lovefraud has also received numerous e-mails from gay individuals who found themselves involved with sociopaths. I asked several of them if they thought the sociopath was actually gay. They all said no
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  16. I am 31 yrs old. I lived in west hollywood 12 yrs. My ex TORTURED me last year. He was an old blue blood attorney and his dad owns law firm on Rodeo. He had a charge on me for hitting his 70000 car when I was on way back from hosp w/ nervous breakdown. I forgave him for affair and I drove car for a year. He beat me in ear and I finally kicked him back after 6 months of not filing charges like an idiot! He blackmailed me and said if I don't tell the judge he will press 10 yrs no parole for assault w/deadly weapon. I lost my beautiful apt while disabled with a head injury...I suffered pain from orbital trauma and lost apt due to his harrassment. I could not call police or he would press charge. I was 29, naive and no attorney. He sexually abused me and then called me lacy peterson and took my cat and said, it would be easier then killing a human. I snuck to his guest house at his father's to try to retrieve the cat...I let him sexually abuse me because I didn't want to go to jail, after having to sit there 4, 4 days. The gyno said I was a victim...but L>A> is so crowded I had to sit in there for self defense. I recieved messages after he sabataged my apt saying "now your on the streets with the real pychos bitch" He was so WICKED. He did relaspe on meth. I knew him for 6 years, and the first 4 years we had fun as friends. The torture was odd because we decided to split and I thought he would move and leave me be...but instead he chose to sabatage my new apt and loved to see me suffer when I already had had a hard life and childhood. He confessed in the end he was "gay" but he cheated with multiple female prostitutes!It's been a year and a half and I can't stop dwelling. I regret and resent all the wasted time on the street when I could have been enjoying my apt and recovering from the nervous breakdwon. I want justice. I need a good attorney for victim's. I lay awake feeling sad about my cat's fate.He despised me in the end, and I never did anything? I know he has no remorse but does he know what he did was horrific?
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  17. My ex sociopath I have no doubt has had sex with men. He is a very tall muscular masculine man who would deny having sex with a man to everyone but I know in my heart of hearts that he has and I have found some evidence to support this. When confronted he acted extremely angry and agitated and his heart was palpitating a hundred miles a minute. I have since learned that his anger is usually a deflection of a lie. He also had sex with prostitutes on a regular basis and random women that he would meet off the internet and bars. Very predatory like. He also chooses the weaker of the women to pick up on. For instance all of the women who I have discovered him to have affairs with were very plain, seemed to be unahppy about something, were married in bad marriages, had children. In other words he chooses easy targets. He told me that any mans dream would be to have sex with a married woman because there are no consequences...so you see how flawed a sociopaths logic is? The scariest part about a sociopaths indescretion with sexual partners is that I believe this could very well make them more prone to child molestation. I'm guessing that most or many sociopaths would not do this because of fear of being caught and going to prison but if there were no laws I bet they would have no problem having sex with teens or children as well if it suited them. It really is terrifying. I know personally that my ex was always pushing the boundaries of the laws seeing what he could get away with and very secretive about his behavior, only doing things in which he didn't believe he would get caught. If jail did not exist I have no doubt that he would be doing horrendous things and that he has some serious deep and dark urges which he keeps very very secret and tells noone of.
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  18. i'm wondering why these people are defining themselves as sociopaths as opposed to nihilists or rationalists.

    at the very least nothing that has really been said so far- would differentate them.
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  19. A gay sociopath

    Is a gay sociopath gay first or a sociopath first? If he hurts women, does he do the same thing to men?
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  20. Anonymous of Jan 5, though I doubt you'll ever read this commentary:

    There is a set of 'symptoms', a group of faculties that are deficient or modified or hyperactive in a sociopath that are not so in a 'normal' person. It is the fit of these symptoms which suggests that one is a sociopath. One need not be a nihilist or a rationalist to be a sociopath, nor vice versa.

    Rather, the condition and the mindframe have something an incestuous relationship, as the one supports the other in both directions, if both are present.
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  21. That is a fairly brilliant interpretation, Amdusias. I hadn't ever really thought about my two conditions, one intentional and one perhaps pathological, feeding one another. I may have to delve further into that.
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  22. You all are being quite silly. None of you are sociopaths. You are simply intelligent people who see through society's veil. You were socially ostracized in life because of this. You probably will have a hard time with authority figures, and the law -- because of this too, as the masses are stupid, gullible and weak emotionally. You don't have to be a 'sociopath' to sense those things in others. You just have to be *smart.*
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  23. Cynicism does not a sociopath make.
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  24. gender is so overrated.

    maybe it's irrelevant to say that, but i don't care. it's ridiculous that you're supposed to choose a camp and stay there.
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  25. I've seen more perceptive comments on the nature of humanity on this blog than I've seen virtually anywhere else, which is interesting. People who don't "get" sociopathy (as evidenced by some of the comments from socio-bashing "normals") seem to be under the impression that sociopaths are incapable of understanding anything at all about humanity yet the viewpoints expressed by some of you here make it clear that isn't the case. I think many people are just blinded by their own empathy, which is often inaccurate as it is based on the assumption that others think and experience emotions the same way you do. It's a useful mental "shortcut" that saves having to consciously work out why someone is behaving a certain way, but as with any mental shortcut it isn't always the most accurate strategy. The same goes for the sense of self, which people use to filter the incoming information and accept or reject it depending on whether it "fits" (as Daniel Birdick explained). Obviously filtering has its uses, it reduces the sense of overwhelm and helps people create a stable and predictable identity, but it is responsible for some of the messes that the world finds itself in where people entrench themselves in a viewpoint that is destructive or unhelpful. Sociopaths might get the label "anti-social" but I think that "normals" attachment to an unwavering sense of self has the potential to be just as anti-social (look at the things people do in the name of religion, for instance).

    I suppose I have to disclose here that although I'm not a sociopath I find that some aspects of my thinking have more in common with them than normals at times. It's that hint of autism, the weak sense of empathy and of self (although not absent in my case, just not as well developed as some people's seems to be). I find other human beings incredibly irrational, but incredibly fascinating. My interest in the way their minds work is probably what helps me appear normal(ish)! But then I suppose that's another thing I have in common with high functioning sociopaths, the ability to analyse from a slightly detached viewpoint and base my interactions with others more on this analysis than on any innate sense of empathy.

    I have a question for the socios here: how do you feel about mirrors? An apparently bizarre question, I know, but I have noticed that I have such a weak sense of myself that I find mirrors quite strange, I'm almost surprised by my own reflection sometimes. I also find it almost impossible to resist looking at my reflection, which may appear like vanity to others but is more about me trying to cement my image in my own mind, I think.
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  26. I've got questions to do with sociopaths and sexuality.
    Well...mainly alot of comments to begin with.

    Firstly you should know that I'm a sociopath.
    Secondly it may help to know that I'm female.
    Thirdly, I am in my late teens and have never had sexual interaction of any kind.

    I consider myself gay, but I'm not so sure sometimes. On a scale of 1 to 10 (where 1=straight 10=gay 5.5=bi) I tend to drift between 7 and 9 alot of the time.
    The other thing that's changeable is my interest in sex. Sometimes it's just too weird, too bothersome, to annoying, whatever. Other times I'm really interested in it.
    I have attributed these changes to my menstrual cycle (because supposedly you get more horny and interested in males just prior to your period).

    I understand that the sociopath has a very flexible sense of self and sexuality.

    All in all I consider myself to be rather asexual but with underlying homosexual inclinations.

    Now the only other sociopath I know is the character Sherlock Holmes. I've read the books and I'm quite sure he's a sociopath, rather similar to my own sociopathic behavior. He's also rather asexual.
    Then of course there's the new Sherlock BBC series where he actualy admits to being a sociopath (much to my delight) but I can also see clearly that he's asexual but appears to have underlying homosexual tendencies.

    My question (finally) is about other sociopaths. Are all sociopaths like this? Not very interested in sex but leaning more towards same-sex interactions?
    I understand that 2 (possibly 3) sociopaths isn't a very large pool of information so I'm asking.
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  27. No noticeable bias in one direction or the other, myself. Sex is fun, but I don't take an active interest, except in rare moments when I get very interested.
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  28. I have just learned that I'm a sociopath (people have always said there is something different about me, but no one has been able to point out the exact reason until earlier today. I've never known because I just assumed I felt or didnt feel the same as others do and couldn't really understand why relationships go so horribly wrong after a while).

    Since I was 14 I've been very promiscuous. Now sex can be good fun, but it's never something I've tried to actively seek out. It just happens, and I have a hard time saying no even though I know what the concequences will be. With only a few exceptions I have a very strong sexual preference for men, being female myself. Maybe it's for practical/natural reasons...

    However, after my new discovery I was hoping that there might be a way to asexualize myself, as sex and relationships always end up in disasterous messes I really don't want to deal with.
    I've tried not looking people in the eyes when I talk to them, which appears to be an effective way of lowering their interest, but I really do enjoy conversations with people and I don't want to be robbed of all the fun society has to offer. I probably sound like a real douchebag when I say this, but has anyone else had problems with their "charming" effect on the opposite (sometimes same) sex? How can this undesired effect be corrected without knowing specifically what creates it? Is there a way of finding out exactly what I do wrong?

    Thanks in advance for any help.
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  29. You are not a sociopath. You are Histrionic.
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  30. I've read about this before (the "bonobo" phenomenon) & believe this is likely to be a contributing factor to cultures of prison rape/sexuality.

    Normal people (myself included) view that prison culture as absolutely sickening & baffling. But, perhaps it makes sense in light of there being a proportionally high sociopathic prison population.
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  31. "Sociopathy is a personality disorder. We are unusually (impressionable), very flexible with our sense of self, and with our defining characteristics. Because we don't have a rigid self-image or worldview, we don't observe social norms, we don't have a (moral compass, and we have a fluid definition of right and wrong.) We can also be shapeshifters, smooth-talking, and charming. We can become your ideal mate, in a way described here and here. We do not have an established default position on anything."


    I exhibit most of the abilities you state here except those I marked inside () yet I am considered an empath. So what does that make me? What you seem to call inherited ability due to your condition I exhibit due to circumstance and study. I am not asking this to be snide, I really am curious why i seem to share these traits you constant attribute to sociopaths, yet i am not one. What are all your thoughts?
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  32. You know I had the most fucked up dream about this. There was this ugly,no, HIDEOUS man who I know killed this girl (and raped her). Yet for some reason he had a way of charming all the girls (except me), including my mother! And then when everyone was talking together at a party I screamed "He did it he killed her, He's a monster, a fucked up Pig!" And he looked at me with these rapped eyes, that haunted me. What was really fucked up was that no one belived me! And the next day (apparently in my dream) he tried to abduct me at my research office. And it was so fucked up how everyone around him reacted! I mean thank God this wasn't real, in the end I ended up killing him at heart shot, and skull crush point.
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  33. I am still recovering from a relationship I had with a sociopath. It lasted 14 months...of hell. He was an ex-con. He was physically abusive and he was a monster. He conned me out of thousands of dollars and even took my credit card a couple of times without my knowledge.

    Here is the kicker: I knew approximately 15 min after I met the guy that he was not normal. I knew there was something wrong....but the physical attraction was so overwhelming that I felt powerless. I knew I was playing with fire but I continued. I endured so much abuse that my head is still spinning in a pool of self-loathing. Yeah, I am messed up and trying to fix it....I will never be the same person I was when I met him.
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  34. @Sas

    Interesting, I have pretty much the same thing about mirrors. I did think that it was vanity for a long time, and I tried to avoid staring at myself in the mirror for ages (because vanity is supposed to be wrong), but eventually I realized that it was something different, though I've never been able to quite put my finger on it until you worded it that way.
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  35. Someone way at the top of the messages, who says he is a sociopath, listed "my young neice running towards me" or something like that as one of his pleasures. That struck me as an odd statement. If sociopaths do not have regular human emotions, why would he list a very loving moment like that? Do you all see where I am coming from?

    Also, I think I wrote on one of these links about my relationship with my then current sig nif. I said I did not understand why he fit the bill yet was so loving towards me. I should have waited a week when I found out he was a lying, cheating, bleepity bleep. I mean once the truth came out, it was never-ending. Imagine the little Dutch boy holding his finger over the whole in the damn. It was something like that. I talked to a lot of his exes and found out just about every thing that came out of his mouth was a life. He even lied when it had no importance to him or myself.

    I would NEVER have believed it - never believed someone who was SO attentive, and said he loved me 2 or 3 times a day was that cold-blooded. The funny part here is when I read that a sociopath will blame you for things they caused. That is him to a Tee! He said a few times after we broke-up; "all you ever did was talk about money..." Um...yeah! That's because you TOOK almost all my money you shit head!!!
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  36. These people are demons...smh...they really think they have a life, when they are unable to have what God gave normal human beings?? They are not of God, God is Love....they are of their Father Satan....hold on to the end sociopaths & maybe God will have mercy on your souls & give you a soul again :)
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  37. I don't really have a sexual preference i can get off with females and males, neither do i have a conscience but the other day the weirdest thing happened, a woman with a toddler came up to me asking if i had jumper cables or a car. Technically i do have a car but it's not mine and i didn't have jumper cables but I didn't lie or make a good excuse or anything i just helped out. Which is weird for me, I never help unless i know there is something in it for me or is for me. Maybe I'm not a sociopath maybe I have some other disorder but either way I never let anyone see who I truly am. I almost always lie or cheat and really don't give a damn about others. The only people who i rarely use or lie to are my mother and my grandmother, and the only thing that i actually liked was my dog, he is dead now (No i didn't kill him). I remember sometimes being somewhat cruel to my dog but nothing deliberate. I could go to a shrink and maybe see what i really am but i don't feel like going to a shrink.
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  38. I've spent 10 months with a sociopath - 10 most miserable months of my life. Thanks God my eye are open now. Just do yourself a favor - RUN, RUN, RUN
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  39. I dated a sociopath for almost a year..He actually sought me out, but apparantly, as I found out later on, was his MO..Online dating, socializing..I am no angel myself , but it has been 6 months since I ended it, and I feel like I will never trust anyone again. the relationship, or lack of, for a better word,changed who and whatI was..he actually had me believing towards the end that it was MY issues of anger that was my/our problem..i actually went to a few therapy sesions..But a few clicks of a mouse and a little eye-opening and I easily realized it was not me at all..Besides having actually been on every sex web site possible, he was also soliciting males as well.I think if i had to give it a number i would say over 500 men/women in a six month period.And it's growing I'm sure as we speak..I had no problem with the bi sexuality of it, I did have a problem with the lies, deceit, and lack of caring for my health and well being..I explained to him that h was a textbook case but of course to no avail.. he actually offered to take a lie detector test then take me out to dinner..It actually got worse , but for legal reasons i cannot go into it.. please if you do encounter anyone like this , and you get that gut feeling you should leave.. take it from me.. listen to your gut.. it will be nothing short of a train wreck, get out while you are still in one sane piece..it broke me
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  40. glad to get out alive
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  41. Dear Anon:
    Boo-Hoo. WOW!! Whadda resume!!
    C'mon...You're a sociopath junkie - admit it.

    The biggest lie is the lie we tell ourselves...

    And yet, it was nice following your seemingly misguided perception of our relationship...
    albeit based upon a falsified statement - all posted here just so you could advertise and garnish a better class of sociopath...

    Sorry I let you down in our little came of cat-and-cat, babe. I'm working on being a better deceiver/manipulator. Promise. Thanks so much for the tips...I will use them for future fun.

    See you again...and soon.
    ReplyDelete
  42. Geez, that certainly looks that I AM a sociopath. Just another clue.
    ReplyDelete
  43. Concerning a critical view of the Self and its strengths and weaknesses, I'd like to recommend the book

    Mark R. Leary: "The Curse of the Self"

    Have a nice time and find true friends.
    ReplyDelete
  44. The sociopath I dated was 100% gay and never had sex with a woman. However, he seemed to take cues from me and molded himself such as to appear to be my ideal mate. I do not like to use the word "soulmate" but that is how he made me feel.

    He was manipulative beyond anyone I had ever met and did not tell me he was HIV+. Interestingly, he dumped me right after certain health of mine had doctors believing I might be HIV+. Thankfully this was not the case.

    After he dumped me, I discovered several of his online profiles on various dating and porn sites. To me, he presented himself as "reserved and sorted" to use his own words.

    From what I learned from his profiles, he is anything but that, with a taste for unsafe sex, rough sex and an eye for very young guys. He owns words paint him as juvenile and superficial, with no interests other than "boys, a pint or two and fooling around."

    Thus, what he presented to me was 180 degrees opposite than his real person.
    ReplyDelete

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