Monday, September 3, 2012

Who wants to be a sociopath?

I had the distinct displeasure of coming across this email from a guy named James who calls himself a sociopath. As bad as the email is, it does provide me with the opportunity to address the strange and curious phenomena of the sociopath wannabe.

After much blather, James says,
'There's something you should know about me… whenever I feel emotions, I never know if they are real because I don't stop thinking. I'm way too analytical for my own good, to the point where it's borderline sociopathic. Yes, I'm a sociopath. Not in the sense that I'd steal an old lady's life savings and think nothing of it, or torture little animals, but in the sense that I don't experience emotion like other people... 100% mind, 0% heart, the definition of a sociopath...'

Is that the definition of sociopath? Really? James has taken one sociopathic characteristic, the lack of in depth emotion, and turned it into the whole enchilada. Any reasonable definition of sociopathy would also at minimum include a flexible sense of self, the ability to charm when needed, the love of a well played mind game of one kind or another, a disregard for social norms on an emotional level, a greater than normal desire for stimulation, and of course a lack of conscience. These characteristics would then have to be demonstrated in a consistent manner across almost all aspects of one’s personal and professional lives before you could reasonably call that person a sociopath. James, out of ignorance or sheer psychological blindness, disregards all of this and calls himself a sociopath anyway.

This is a phenomenon I’ve observed coming from several types or groups of people saying they are sociopaths. One group of wannabes who might very well have other 'personality disorders' confuse their 'symptoms' for sociopathy. I call them the confused. For instance, a narcissist might confuse her grandiosity for the sociopath's calculated and laser like focus on self interest. Someone with Asperger's might confuse his lack of desire to interact with others for the sociopath's indifference to societal norms. A schizoid might confuse his social aloofness for the sociopath's lack of instinctive empathy. Another group of wannabes, especially those on the young side of 25 who are still trying to figure themselves out, might want to latch on to the sociopath label as a way of seeing themselves as hard or tough or whatever it is they think all sociopaths are. I call them the seekers. Some seekers might even believe that calling themselves sociopaths makes them 'cool' somehow. Seekers tend to have an unrealistic view of what the day to day life of an actual sociopath is like thanks to modern media. Another group of wannabes strap themselves with this label because they’re tired of feeling. I call them the desperate. They believe sociopaths feel absolutely nothing. The desperate wish to feel this nothingness as a means of escaping depression or anxiety or a creeping sense of failure perhaps.

That doesn’t exhaust the list, but I think I’ve made my point. If I had to guess, I’d say James falls into the seeker category. The tone of the rest of his email is maudlin, self pitying and overly dramatic to the point of tedium. What it does do is demonstrate how easy it is misapply the sociopath label.

Being a sociopath isn’t romantic or glamorous. I don’t have a conscience, so to speak. I can charm and be anything to anyone when necessary, I enjoy playing the occasional mind game with people, I've never cared about social norms, etc. So what? None of that means I go around acting like a movie villain. I’ve got friends, family, a job, a life. In many ways, I appear quite normal on the surface. I’m not plotting to take over the world or running an international crime syndicate or making lamp shades from human skin, and I don't make it a habit to eat the livers of census takers with fava beans and a nice Chianti. I make no effort to live up to any kind of sociopathic stereotype. I do what I must to enjoy the life I lead, plain and simple.

Put your thinking caps on boys and girls. Being a sociopath is more and less than you think. You don’t choose it, you are it. Why bother trying to be anything other than who you are?

191 comments:

  1. All the self aggrandizing 'I'm a sociopath let me tell you' seems defensive at best. Its a way to feel good and create a protective bubble. You all live in shame about the mundane routine you will never break so you create a better version of yourself. Its always a label, biker, metal head, emo faggot, vampire or sociopath. You are all still lame and live the same lame lives everyone else does. Whether you are misanthropic or not you all still suck as much balls as everyone else.

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  2. Lmao, this article gave me a giggle. Wanting to be a sociopath is plain crazy. I don't find what is so desirable about not wanting a conscience?? I have no idea how id function without mine? Sociopathy is intriguing i'l give it that, fascinating almost, but there is no way on earth id want another sociopathic family member or boyfriend. They are hard work!! Nothing ever seems to run smoothly for long, its exhausting trying to sift through all the lies.
    Im an empath, but no way do i see that as a weakness. And neither do i feel the need to kiss sociopathic ass to feel accepted. And if a sociopath wants to percieve me as "weak" for having the ability to feel deep emotion, then more fool him/her! It works both ways with empathy and i think this is seriously ignored....."just as an empath can feel deeply, they can also feel complete disregard and shallowness". Its a spectrum. There are people on this earth i honestly wouldn't shit on if they were on blazing fire!!! Yet there are others id lay down my life for in a heartbeat.
    Sure there are days when i think wouldn't it be so much easier if i could just blow that fucking place up and not feel a shred of guilt or remorse for any hurt caused. To be blunt i wouldn't particularly like myself if i was capable of that level of heartlessness.
    I don't view sociopathy as a gift more of an affliction.
    Empathy is not a handicap! I get pissed off actually that its treated that way. And in order to be strong or "cool", a person has to be able to be as cold as ice. Being strong is a lot more to do with commen sense and logical thinking. Then being able to follow that through. For godsake there are plenty of empaths in high powered professions making difficult decisions. Just because they may feel guilt over difficult solutions doesn't make them less of a human being. A sociopath may be able to can go in there and make the same decision and not give a flying shit when they put their head on the pillow at night. To me thats not "cool".
    I wish some people would use more of their commen sense. To be intimate is a wonderful feeling, bonding with another on an emotional level is both comforting, and yeah it is special. Who the hell wants to be "dispensable". I don't want to have babies one day and look at them and think yeah ok if you lot all died tomorrow id get over it because im a sociopath and i don't deeply care about any of you.
    i came out of a sociopath and i may have personality traits that make me a bit sturdier than most, but do i admire that person? No i fucking don't. Its a relief to know that sociopaths don't always go on to create more sociopaths.

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    1. Re:Wanting to be a sociopath is plain crazy. I don't find what is so desirable about not wanting a conscience??

      BBC's Sherlock?
      Personal Trauma, Narcissism?

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    2. What good does losing sleep and feeling bad do for others?
      Rational consideration of the needs of others including rationally thinking about how best to make up for a mistake does them tremendous good, but I don't get this whole "to be good you have to beat yourself up" philosophy of empaths. As long as I am good to the people in my life what difference does it make if something bad happened to them where there is nothing I can do to fix it I would do the rational thing and move on? How does grieving help anybody?
      And what does deeply feeling mean? I don’t think so-called “Deep feeling” which to me is merely a social convention whether it strongly correlates with brain chemistry or not (no reason brain chemistry couldn’t encourage susceptibility to partake in and identify with certain illusions) does anyone any good. I rather care in a rational manner considering how to maximize the good for myself and those I have chosen to care about.
      As to love and intimacy, I know what it looks like, I define what I like and do not like and conceptualize my own reality so I do experience love and intimacy. Love and intimacy are what ever I want them to be, of course if I want the other person to go along I consider what their concept will be and work with that and I do.
      I’m not against social norms I just don’t feel in thrall to them. I am very happy that we have social norms against rape, murder, and theft. I obey social norms against being naked in public even though I consider it to be useless and would vote for politicians to repeal such laws given the chance. My take on social norms if it serves a good rational purpose for myself and enough other people to get a consensus on it good. If it serves no rational purpose it should be abolished.
      I’m not hung up on labels. I just think I fit from what I’ve read. No skin off my nose if I’m not actually a sociopath as I care more about who I am in substance than any word used by people that might fit with the substance. My point about how ridiculous it is to think you need to do or feel things that have nothing rational to do with the well-being of others in order to be a good person still stands.

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  3. You know Tink, my attitude anymore about all of this is the last sentence of the post: why bother trying to be anything other than who you are?

    Coming to this blog really did help me put some of the pieces together. I figured out that remorse and guilt are just words to me. I don’t really know what they mean emotionally. I know “right” from “wrong”, so to speak, in the same way I know proper English from slang. It’s all just words, with little feeling to go with them. For years I was genuinely mystified as to why people felt compelled to do the right thing or to even talk about it as if it were important. I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I was ignorant of my ignorance. Now I know and knowing is half the battle. (Shout out to GI Joe fans.)


    I think that normals have decided that having a conscience is the superior way of being in the world and I think that people like me have reacted against that smug superiority by claiming the opposite. I went thru a brief phase of that myself. Commenting on ME’s blog helped me to get over that though. (Btw, I don’t think ME’s point in the post above was to proclaim his superiority over all normals…) I now believe that being who you are, whatever that is, must be the superior way to be. Tink, you are superior at being you. I am superior at being me. How could it be otherwise? It’s not like we have a choice. It’s not like we can actually be someone else. It’s not like we can choose to have traits that we just don’t have. We don’t choose our genetics, we don’t choose our parents, we don’t choose our environment. We can only be what we in fact are.


    If I believed normals though, I’m supposed to think of myself as a monster, as defected, as someone who’s supposed to suffer from a pathology and that I’m in need of either mental help or prison just because I don’t give a rat’s ass about their moral codes or their laws. Well, screw them. I am what I am and that’s all that I am. (Shout out to Popeye fans.) Although I don’t particularly feel human, I know that I am a member of the same species. All humans can say for themselves what I do for myself: it is better to be who and what you are whether than try to live up to someone else’s definition of who they think you should be.

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    1. I suppose the hardest part is to face oneself. It is the hardest for me. Some great insights, Daniel. Thank you.

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  4. “All humans can say for themselves what I do for myself: it is better to be who and what you are whether than try to live up to someone else’s definition of who they think you should be.”

    Edit: I meant rather. Oh well, nobody’s perfect, not even me.

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  6. Peter, click on the link in the post. It’ll take you back to the email being responded to. It was part of a larger post on another blog (?).

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  7. Wanting to be a sociopath is ridiculous. I'd go with wanting to be whatever the sociopaths are faking to be cuz that's where you'll benefits are. Sociopaths are looked down upon when they put out what they really think. I know cuz I have and people looked at me crazy and told me they thought I was joking with the vibe that if I didn't agree that they would be offended and concerned. I've actually made a game out of it. I'll tell lies about how I am and how I think and every now and again throw in the truth and they never believe the truth 100% of the time.
    Be who you are. Believe me you fit in more.

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  8. More proof the label is pretty meaningless. He most likely doesn't feel all emotions so shallowly. He should just show which traits he is, and which he is not, that's who he is, not some title he gives himself. M.E. too, should stop being a sociopath and be whatever list of traits make up M.E.

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  9. I think Anon is right, the guy needs to keep himself in check regarding his personality traits. (But i think everybody should)
    He needs to be crystal clear in his own mind about what he is "not capable of", thats when he can start having relationships with people in a productive manner and living the life he wants to lead, instead of being hooked on a label and focusing on all that negativity.
    I have a mean streak that runs right through the core of me. I keep it in check. Its not something im proud of or like to broadcast to give people in my life the eebie jeebies and make myself look all stupid and scary. Because lets face it, that would be just plain pathetic. lol.(partly because i was the biggest Britney Spears fan as a kid, and people know this ha ha)That mean streak did however used to concern me in my teenage years, i knew exactly where it came from and the person is blood related. That creeped me out more than anything. The last thing i ever want to be is that person. I could see how everybody percieved that person and how society shyed away, leaving that person almost in total isolation. No way did i want to end up like that by not keeping myself in check. I accept that im going to have inherited certain traits but im also very aware that i am still and always will be my own person. And i make zero apologies for that. So in that case i can lead my life much differently and try to maintain healthy relationships to the best of my ability, although there will always be a element of dysfunction, because thats how i function lol. I find it strange that people don't seem to be comfortable accepting the label of "themselves"... is just being yourself really such an inferior notion? I think not. It's liberating marching to the beat of your own drum.

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  10. I think it makes sense that people want to be sociopaths. Tink may say she likes the fact that she can't justify blowing shit up, but she has the feeling in the first place that she'd love to blow shit up when it upsets her. The sociopath has the capability without the desire. What would be appealing to anyone is not the fact that the sociopath can function without remorse, but the fact that they don't have to get to the point of overemotional lack of control that brings about remorse.

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  11. I actually agree with you there jasnowflake, makes perfect sense to me. lol,
    Its always a pain when the light bulbs burst!!

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  13. If the Bushes, Falwells, Phelps, bin Ladens, Dr Phils, and Benedict XVIs of the world are the paragons incarnate of morality (within their respective cults), who of right mind and sound body wouldn’t want to be a so-called moral imbecile?

    Dr Whom

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  14. I find you all thoroughly entertaining.

    ...and nice blog.

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  15. You know what I find entertaining (speaking of trying to "be cool") are these idiots who comment on these blogs with things like ..

    "I find you all thoroughly entertaining."

    in some hope that this smart little quip will paint them as a person of some kind of true indifference in hopes of being viewed as a cynic to be idolized as the true "callous sociopath" in so which they believe by googling to be traits he must assimilate to be excepted and smiled upon here. Meanwhile, he provides no real insight at all to add to this post because he has no understanding of what your talking about.

    There are not only those who want to be sociopaths as a weak defensive manuvar or to make them look cool but more irritating is there are actually little kids out there that are what I like to call Sociopath Groupies... ones that think we are and I quote "Aaaammmaazing" They like to wear the tshirts that say "I am a sociopath" buy clever little key chains or even write it on their bodies as a blaring sign of where their heads are which is up their asses. Never did I consider that I would be some hero .. some celebrity a person to be idolized for what is considered a flawed personality.

    Take the time to watch this video and you will see what I mean.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoEPKAvOA9A&feature=related

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  16. This makes a lot of sense.

    I used to be the opposite of James actually.
    Some years ago I was diagnosed as being Sociopathic and dismissed it.
    Recently I have been diagnosed Sociopathic and I know it's is correct.

    I think the reason the ones you call the Sociopath groupies think we're so "Amaaazinggg" is because of our ability to charm people. And because we don't really care what others think of us, that comes off as being "cool" or "edgy". As many people are always worried what others think, they feel admiration for the fact that Sociopaths don't feel the same obligation I think.

    And I completely agree with what you said here:

    " I can charm and be anything to anyone when necessary, I enjoy playing the occasional mind game with people, I've never cared about social norms, etc. So what? None of that means I go around acting like a movie villain. I’ve got friends, family, a job, a life. In many ways, I appear quite normal on the surface. I’m not plotting to take over the world or running an international crime syndicate or making lamp shades from human skin, and I don't make it a habit to eat the livers of census takers with fava beans and a nice Chianti."

    Seriously. Just because I am a scoiopath, it doesn't mean I'm boiling heads in pots overnight!

    The stereotyping is really pathetic.

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  17. All of you are idiots. There is no such thing as sociopathy. It's an invention concocted by a regime of neo-clerics (psychologists and psychiatrists) in an age when eugenics and social control was (heh, or is) all the rage. In most cases it's a form of dissociation or repression. In other cases, it's the stupid notion that everyone must feel the same way about things, and the desire to self-handicap to fit into the mediocre mold of the prototypical modern citizen.

    Anyone taking pride in the label, whether it be the blog owner who flaunts it around as nonsensically as a gambler might his habits, or the douche who wrote him the email, is full of shit. Or mentally retarded. Obviously a sociopath has enough of a fine-tuned sense of what social signals work to cause what effects, which demands a fair amount of reflection. Without the capacity for those social functions, how could he relate so effectively? It's sheer bogus science. If you knew how sad you look, like a bunch of petty morons nursing a secret satisfaction in your corny, deluded thinking, you would blush out of embarrassment. And here I am, forced to blush for you instead! You fuckers!

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    1. Sociopathy: a label given to people that need an excuse to do whatever the fuck they wish to do without taking responsibility for it. An easy way out of this fucked up thing called LIFE! Pathetic!

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    2. Anonymous, just because you can't imagine sociopathy as being real doesn't mean it's an excuse. I really don't think they care what you say, or your opinion on them taking "responsibility". You don't get that they don't think there's any "wrong"-doing to take responsibility for. For them, right and wrong & morals & empathy are something that exists in an empath's mind. They only know what we think of certain actions.

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    3. Dumb ass... I'd totally drug your drink.

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    4. Ironically, they CAN respond properly in regards to themselves. They know when and how to respond rightly or wrongly for their own benefits, so how is it that they can not make those determinations where others are involved?.......they CHOOSE not to. Cowardess self centeredness. A convenient scapegoat from responsible behavior. I dont necessarily FEEL like doing right, but it is my moral obligation to function as a respectable human being. Life is not all about ME...... Just a footnote for all you self absorbed socios wearing your badge proudly ........whatever "disorder" we live with is NOT an excuse.

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    5. Who is making an excuse? No sociopath would ever consider their thought process (watch as I don't say disability) a negative of positive thing, it is what it is. Also, failing to act properly or improperly in a social or moral situation does not immediately make the person a coward or self centered. You speak of using sociopathy as an excuse, yet you are clearly using ignorance, is that better? No one can make a generalization about how sociopaths act because every situation is based on circumstance and context. One does not simply act the same in every situation, they look at what is happening around them, what needs to be done, what are the ways said action could be done, what are the consequences of those ways, which consequence offer the best result, and so on. Each situation is different and can easily result in the sociopath acting the part of the morally inclined, or choosing a different route.

      Just because someone might not choose to do what you believe is right at the moment doesn't mean they are using sociopathy as a scapegoat, it simply means they assessed the situation and don't agree with what you believe to be the right action at that moment. Or, they simply don't care what the right action is, and frankly you don't need to be a sociopath to not care about another or their situation.

      I will agree with you that the sociopath label is something we created, based on what is believed to be the social norms, but even the social norms themselves are something we made up to better control the population. The very concept of morality was created by us in order to help us understand our general nature and why we do what we do. All the sociopath title functions as is a branch of that morality tree to help people understand that specific form of thought.

      But I digress, while on one hand you do show the potential for intelligence, your ignorance, generalization, and unnecessarily aggressive attitude just make you come off as a bitter, judgmental person who obviously needs a proper outlet for his/her anger. You also seem to have an issue grasping the concept that one can accept who he/she is, and the way he/she thinks, without brandishing themselves with a title and openly applauding their own actions. Like I said before, it is what it is, and if someone as aggressive and openly hateful as you is the morally content, than I'm happy to be the ladder.

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    6. I have personally been at the receiving end of a sociopath. I have a very up close and personal experience that has caused me to "self examine". I apologize for my seemingly aggressive hate and jadedness. I believe we are all born sociopathic (complete selfishness). We LEARN responses that meet our OWN needs based on positive or negative rewards and punishments. I do not believe that a sociopath arrives at his fullest manifestations simply due to a "bad" environment, in some instances, yes, in others, I believe a person is born and raised as the center of their parents universe and in time, they become the center of their own universe. They are raised as Gods that never assume responsibility for anything or the exact opposite can be true......they have become who they are through extreme neglect and loss of faith in humankind. at any rate, I believe that there is a confusing element in a sociopaths disclaimers.....they can feel plenty towards their own selves..... But not towards others?????? they are very self empathetic when their world is threatened.... How can this be an incapability? It seems like an oxymoron.?!?

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    7. I do agree that we are all born sociopathic, a child's brain cannot understand good and evil and thus must be conditioned accordingly. However, there tends to be two forms of sociopathic people, those born and those made. Those born tend to lack the proper brain chemistry to feel empathy, it's not a matter of being taught, their brain has actually developed slightly differently, wherein the ability to feel empathy is altered and even lessened. Regardless of how much someone tries to teach that person it would be impossible for them to feel that same level of emotion. However, that does not mean they can't comprehend the concept of emotion, and act accordingly, which is why it is not an excuse to be a sociopath.

      Environment can obviously have an effect on how a sociopath develops, but it has just as much effect on how someone who doesn't lack empathy develops. Unfortunately there are people who are coddled by their parents, treated like gods, and it creates a spoiled little brat who thinks the world is his/hers, regardless of being a sociopath or not, and in many cases the only difference between a self-consumed normal person and an impulse driven sociopath can only be seen under the hood, and not at face value.

      I do understand your confusion regarding how a sociopath shows empathy, and how one can seem to exert a full array of emotions when dealing with themselves, yet simply turn it off when dealing with others. However, what needs to be understood is the difference between true emotion/empathy and simply a series of impulses and desires. I wouldn't consider a sociopath (in my opinion and only my opinion) to be self empathetic, any more than a child who wants a chocolate bar is empathetic with his/her needs. Sociopaths are driven by a series of wants, and impulses, and when a want is not obtained, they can become very childlike in their reaction.


      The problem is determining what reaction is actually caused by sociopathy, and what is caused simply by self interest and selfishness. Just because someone is a dick, uses another person, and calls themselves a sociopath doesn't mean that what they did was actually a symptom of that specific personality trait, they could just naturally be a selfish, self-centered person who just so happens to be a sociopath so they don't feel bad for what they do.

      For example, all criminals and murderers are not sociopathic, but they still kill people or commit crimes. The fault lies not with the sociopathic tendencies but with that person's personality in general. Now unfortunately when someone doesn't often feel remorse for things they do (at least not in the same way you do) it is easier for them to develop a destructive personality.

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    8. Thanks for insight. Very difficult to understand. The confusion for me was seeing myself engulfed in fearfulness wit NO response from sociopath, but when tables turned, and he became engulfed in fear, his response was my response on steroids. seemed very self empathetic to me. And please understand, he is sociopath.... Probably moreso than many here. So, no confusion on the homefront. the shallowness was overwhelmingly apparent, but buddy, when his ass was on the line..... Look out, a raging self righteous empath emerged. That's just my interpretation.

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    9. It is difficult to understand, even for one who experiences it. The best way I could help explain the above situation would be this. Sociopaths tend to develop an obsessive attachment to things, whether it be people, ideas, situations, or sometimes even a specific version of themselves. Like I mentioned before a potential childlike "MINE" attitude, When a sociopath is about to loose, or could potentially lose something he/she does not desire to loose, they would be willing to do almost anything necessary to keep it, and can often react in extreme ways. Let's put it this way, when you grow up you generally develop certain social filters that control your emotions, the same way as you learn not to scream in doors where it's quiet, instead you use your indoor voice. But since sociopaths don't have as many experiences with their emotions as empathetic people do on a regular basis, when dealing with such a situation the result can often be an over-exaggeration, such as yelling while indoors because you don't know how to use the indoor voice. (again purely my opinion and not the whole sociopathic community :p )

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    10. I think the 'born sociopathic' shit is bullshit.

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    11. To each his own Medusa

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  18. You missed out the psychopaths who also have incorporate aspects from the seeker and desperate people you described.

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  19. I'm not a sociopath. I would like to say that being a sociopath, from an evolutionary standpoint, is less advantageous than feeling remorse. Most sociopaths are "lone wolves" and even though they may be able to manipulate and coerce normals into believing they are normal there are drawbacks.

    1. Nobody can perfectly lie, not even sociopaths. Eventually if you encounter someone smart enough or socially aware enough you will get caught and you might just be "blacklisted" by pretty much everyone you know once your ousted and have to move to a new group.
    2. That means as a sociopath you can't hang out with people who are particularly good at analyzing people. Which means you will probably have to hang out with less intelligent people. Which means when and if you pass on your genes the other partner will probably not contribute much social intelligence or perceptiveness to the offspring.
    3. Caring, compassion, etc. are all manifestations of our species wanting to preserve itself as a whole. Not feeling empathy for others mean you would not risk your self to protect them and you would not go out of your way to improve the circumstances of the group.
    You'd better feel lucky that humanity feels inter-connectedness. If the small tribes in our early years felt nothing for each other and didn't support and strive for each other than you wouldn't exist. "Grom is being attacked by a tiger, I should not intervene because I am likely to get injured", the sociopath says. So Grom dies and the sociopath is now left to fend for himself alone. He dies eventually due to simply being unable to survive on his own. Killed while he was sleeping by an animal.
    Two people fighting the tiger have a much better odds at overall survival. A less ridiculous example is that there might be a small tribe picking fruit, the sociopath tries to manipulate others so he does not do as much of the work. Being a small population they eventually catch on and oust him from the group. He/she starves as being ejected from the tribe is pretty much a death sentence. Obviously the tribes chances as a whole would be better off if the sociopath had picked fruit with 100% effort for the good of the tribe instead of being "cunning" and self-serving. Sociopaths seem to always get self-serving and self-preservation. If you wanted to be Mr. Rational then you'd realize the reasons emotion like that exist is to preserve yourself. You come to a compromise with other and support others because they in turn support you.
    Wolf packs are more realistic.

    Sociopaths, genetically, are a product of large societies and the lack of pressure put on genetic selection by post-small community circumstances. (You can't really move onto a new place once your found out to be a completely self centered non-compassionate person if only 30 people exist.)

    Sorry this is really long. Somebody I know is a sociopath and he proposed eugenics to eliminate stupid people and I just kind of laughed internally.
    I'm not saying I wouldn't be genetically weeded out though. If Humanity actually implemented eugenics for maximum survival probability then I would go because I have terrible eyesight. At least I know it though. :P

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    1. Most of the comments on this site are crappy socio-promoting propaganda fueled with logical fallacy, but every now and then, someone totally gets it and makes an insightful comment. Bravo.

      My take on eugenics, the biggest problem is that those who promote it are absolutely the very ones who should be eliminated from the gene pool, if a "successful" eugenics project were to be accomplished, our race would probably kill the planet (and themselves), and hey, what a coincidence, thats what they're doing now and psychopaths have been spreading their genes like crazy for awhile now. Eugenics would be a great idea if only it weren't stupid people wishing to eliminate the more intelligent and claiming its the other way around... Then again I think genes are misunderstood and given too much concern.

      You might be interested in the book "Left in the Dark" by Tony Wright, it proposes that we are all suffering from a neurological retardation due to a faulty diet and lifestyle. It makes sense to me and seems interesting how some of his ideas correlate with personality disorders, and it seems psychopathy is a more extreme form of this retardation. It has been shown that psychopaths have brain "damage" in certain areas, funny how they still claim they are superior, though.

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    2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Wright_(sleep_deprivation)

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    3. Smart people are easy to lie to. Everyone wants to believe something. If you know what that thing is and have even a little imagination you can lie to them very successfully.

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  20. so you're saying you're a sociopath. If you lead a normal life and blah blah blah. do you ever fantasize about killing someone? or a lot of people?

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  21. Having taken the time to read James' entire email, my conclusion is that he is probably what M.E refers to as Uber-empathic. Absorbed in the self-perceived drama of his life. Sentence #1 disqualifies sociopathy as a prognosis for his tendencies. I have to thank him, though, for the laughter reading his garbage brought me.

    ReplyDelete
  22. First in 2012!!! Mwahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  23. There are also the obsessive compulsive who have chosen Sociopathy instead of Homosexuality or Pedophilia, for example. They feel something's wrong, they search on the internet, they obsess with the idea of being a Socio. This somehow scares them but they can't let go, they need to know. Plain fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What does sociopathy have in common with being gay or pedophilia? I think it's even harder to think you're gay or have pedophilia when you don't.

      Delete
    2. Er... it has nothing to do whatsoever. These are things usually picked up by obsessive compulsive people to wonder if they "are" or not. And I assure you you CAN obsesse with the idea of liking children even if you don´t. Mind is amazing, really. I have already had a very rare brain disease and the pain associated to it, I was a lesbian at the age of 9 although I'm straight, I have been a socio and scared of strangling one of my students recently.

      Delete
  24. anyone else notice the date's a week ahead?
    hehe, anyways lots of people are wayyy too quick to label themselves... I guess labels are easier than actually sorting out your problems.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. These recent re-posts and their comments have been pretty wormhole-ish in general. Ouroboros.

      Delete
  25. Hey ME you have the wrong date on your post.
    This James sounds like a proper idiot with a line like "there is something you should know about me". These wannabe sociopaths are almost as idiotic and simpleminded as the Monica types who come here looking for psychoanalysis and validation. Looking to feel superior and to lay easy blame elsewhere. Playing out a self written ego massaging script with no real learning possible.

    Sociopaths at the end of the day are impulsive and sadistic. They are not like this by choice. They are not steely cool analytical non emotional people who happen to also be very charming and magnetic. They are natural born predators. They do enjoy things and do have a bias. And that is often in effect your ruin.

    You cannot join them or be liked by them or make them like you by identifying with them or certain traits they may have. The only approval you will get from them will be in the service of a plan to use you or play with you for some purpose. A real sociopath doesn't ask if he is a sociopath or state how he is a sociopath because of this or that. A real sociopath takes advantage of the person asking this question or making the argument.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think you're necessarily a sociopath wannabe just because you think you are one and aren't. It means you're not educated on it at least... but don't assume that someone is excited about being one, or has a wannabe attitude. Stating you are one, incorrect or not, doesn't mean you want to be one.

      Tag Y

      Delete
  26. He's got the post dated in the future and comments from the past. Maybe ME is having one of those to close to the void moments? Kind of like how spock had to go through that difficult period during I think.. was it puberty? Except maybe a yearly thing? Maybe not. I can understand including comments from the past. The posters were better and the topic was a lot fresher back then. But dating it in the future is weird. Oh well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That or he is on vacation and his auto-post thing is screwed up. Or part of some sociopathic vision for blog commenter ruination.

      Delete
    2. Well, it seems logical to say that this article was originally posted on September 9, 2009, so it could have easily been an honest mistake and he only changed the year. Maybe the 9 turned into a 10 because of M.E.'s penchant for posting sometime 'round midnight.

      Delete
    3. He turned the old posting into this post. In any case, odd to just put up old posts with their comments.

      Delete
    4. S/he announced a long time ago that s/he was going to be doing that.

      Delete
    5. Why did the comment I had right here completely disappear.

      Take two...

      Mɵᴅʊsa
      September 3, 2012 5:10 AM
      S/he announced a long time ago that s/he was going to be doing that.

      Delete
  27. Glad I'm not a sociopath!

    ReplyDelete
  28. When ME puts up the old articles, I wonder if she/he has changed his Point of View, since then.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm quite sure that is the point. Or rather, to see how much it's/ours have changed as well as seeing how much they've stayed the same.

      Delete
  29. "you sense my loneliness, my bitterness at being shut out of life. My bitterness that I'm evil, that I don't deserve to be loved and yet I need love hungrily. my horror that I can never reveal myself to mortals. But these things don't stop me, mother, I'm too strong for them to stop me. As you said yourself once, I am very good at being what I am. These things merely now and then make me suffer, that's all." Lestat

    ReplyDelete
  30. This is from yesterday, but most of these topics are related. You know wjat true freedom is? When you can act, not react~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The past few days discussing self, identity, dignity, and freedom has brought me to differentiation of self... in part I got the act not react thing from this as well as you now. Another key point was that in order to act and not react you have to know "your" bottom line. You have to know where you stand. You have to be defined. Definition puts walls in place. Walls prevent freedom. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this. What if you have NO bottom lines? What if you can go anywhere?

      Delete
    2. Yes, I, totally, hear your question, Tom. For me, I had a brief time period when I had a self reference point. It was clear and distinct. I attribute it to unconditional love from a grandmother. However, I lost it, after a few brief months, and have been trying to get it back, ever since.
      I can say that I am getting it back, now, but it is as friggin slow as ketchup at the bottom of the container~

      I think people without PD's have a self reference point, as an accepted part of themselves.

      Did you ever have a self reference point, Tom?

      Delete
    3. Good question. I am not sure. What about the unconditional love of your grandmother suggest that you might have had a self reference point in her? I ask this to assist me in possibly finding something that may have been similar in my past.

      Delete

    4. Well, my grandmother loved me, just because I WAS. I did not have to get good grades, be popular, be nice, be anything. I looked in her eyes and I was hers. I was hers, for better or worse. I felt it, deep inside. A person can't fake that.

      She was, also, wise about life. She had a good sense of self. She went to college against her fathers wishes because her father did not think woman should be educated but wanted her to work in the family business.

      She cut her long hair off into a bob, which was a big thing in those days.

      She taught me to be a lady and in all my struggles and woes, I never lost that. She taught me that I was just as good as anyone else. In all my struggles, I could go deep inside and touch her. That is why I did not go down as far as I could have.

      That is my self reference point, even though it is covered over from the many years of abuse by my mother while my father looked on and did nothing.

      Delete
    5. I see. She seems to be a self reference point of strength for you. Is this what you mean?

      Delete
    6. Maybe she SAW me and I was a constant entity( value wise) in her eyes. My value did not go up and down based on my grades, appearance, whether I was liked, whether I made someone proud or ashamed. I EXISTED. I think that may be it. I existed, just as I was, and it was not dependent on me. It was a fact external to me.I could not make it go away or make it come. It was it's own thing. That is my only strength. I, always, cry when I talk about her. It never fails. She saved my life.

      Delete
    7. Then I would have to say no, I have no self reference point. I don't know of anyone who has not held me in some value that could both appreciate or depreciate in their eyes. I don't think I have ever known total acceptance; not from someone I cared about. Maybe this is due in large part to me though, like Groucho said (I think it was Groucho originally), " [I wouldn't want to be a member of a club that would have me as a member]".

      Delete
    8. Yes, my grandmother was a pure gift.

      Delete
    9. I assume she must have been your father's mother?

      Tom, I used to use that quote all the fucking time.

      Delete
    10. Used to... does it not apply anymore?

      Delete
    11. Yeah, not so much.

      Although I will love Groucho forever.

      Delete
    12. It doesn't apply because you now join clubs or just no longer really give a fuck one way or the other?

      Delete
    13. Heh, I've always said that "I've never been a club-joiner."

      Still not interested. I guess I just don't give a fuck anymore whether they'd have me as a member or not...their problem, not mine.

      Delete
    14. Mother's mother but I did have other loving extended family, too.

      Delete
    15. So then what was your mother's father like?

      Delete
    16. He was decent, too. There were not real PD things in my extended family except my mother.

      Delete
    17. How did she end up that way then? Some kind of trauma when she was young?

      Delete
    18. NO trauma like sexual abuse or anything like that. My grandparents were very sweet, very normal. In her astrological chart, she has something which is very hard. The Sun combust mercury, exact. The Sun burns up Mercury, when it is that close. Mercury is the mind.


      To make it practical, the person has no detachment from his ego. He and his ego are as close as white on rice. Hence, every slight, every insult, every dirty look or weird look, is taken personally.

      To me, this one thing is a big marker for mental illness.

      Delete
    19. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    20. That is NEVER off topic with me. I love talking about this stuff. Pluto is very intense. Picture a tidal wave stirring you up to the deepest core. You can be transformed, if you go with it.

      If you don't, Pluto will not take no for an answer, so what choice do you have~

      Delete
    21. ROFLMAO!!!!! Those snakes are making you look ever so lovely this evening, My Dear... I only hope you don't mind me mentioning.

      Please accept my apology on the missed lesson of missing undergarments... you have got it thinking.

      Delete
  31. Haven't you posted this same one before?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Would a Sociopath care enough to write a blog about Sociopathy?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why not. You don't know what the real agenda is.

      Delete
    2. No... absolutely not. Without a doubt in my mind, NO!!! Why do you ask?

      Delete
    3. What kind of benefits could one reap with having such a blog, Medusa?

      Delete
    4. Just curious? Ponder this... why do you care enough to ask such a question on such a blog? I think it more than just curious. Do tell, please?

      Delete
    5. Isn't my intention obvious to you Tom?

      Delete
    6. Why not? I don't see what's suspicious with blogging about it. It makes as much sense as sociopaths coming here. It doesn't have to be about "care". It can be something interesting to do. This seems to be more of that "A sociopath wouldn't make a blog about sociopathy" stuff. Anyone who talks about sociopathy with others must not be a sociopath, ruling M.E. out. It's a silly assumption.

      Tag Y

      Delete
    7. I just want to know what the benefit would be. It doesn't make money. It doesn't hurt anybody. The insight revealed pertains mostly to psychopaths, not people you can benefit from. It seems more like narcissistic feed than anything else.

      Delete
    8. I'm going to make something else clear as well. It is not my intention to mock the blog owner, or to insinuate that this person is a narcissist. I know what a dirty word that is around here. I'm not undermining the validity of the content on this site. Its a resource for information to standardize itself, ironically.

      Delete
    9. Perfect place to fuck with people's heads I might add,

      Delete
    10. You make a lot of assumptions there.

      A few of us already know part of M.E.'s agenda.

      Although I doubt s/he had much of one when s/he first starting the blog.

      Delete
    11. Haha...... If you say so.

      Delete
    12. Would you not already be making an assumption about ME's agenda?

      Delete
    13. Not an assumption. Knowledge with proof to back it up.

      Delete
    14. If you are trying to draw it out of me, you fail.

      Delete
    15. Oh, nothing that obvious. I can't draw something out of you that you don't possess.

      Delete
  33. Does it matter what I think your intentions are?

    I have noticed the places in my life these days where I fall down in between the seems are the very places where I have made assumptions based upon the obvious... I don't wish to make that mistake here, with you Anon. So, Do tell?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My intentions were simple. To have my question answered.

      Delete
    2. Ha ha... but why the question? What is it you find so curious?

      Delete
    3. Part of me is a total fan of Tom. I smile whenever I see that he's posted on the blog or the forum. I imagine getting along and being there sometimes. Does that make me a dork? Does it sound creepy?

      The other part, of course, thinks Tom kind of sucks.

      Delete
    4. I'm smiling like a retard at the fact that I posted this anonymously and comfortably. Honesty feels great.

      Delete
    5. And I am sitting here reading such nice comments and smiling like a retard because... well, because I am probably a retard~

      Delete
  34. being a sociopath is great
    but not everyone can be great

    ReplyDelete
  35. The only symptom I thought of being required whenever the subject came up was inability to feel empathy (and therefore lack of conscience, etc) because I didn't want to rule people out, but since it's more than the traits on paper maybe it usually causes those other things listed in this blog entry too. Maybe it's never just inability to feel empathy.

    Tag Y

    Tag Y

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oops, double tagged.

      Delete
    2. Lack of empathy can be the cause of other things, what you think? :)

      Delete
    3. Like what? I mean born with the inability to have empathy. Not simple lack of. Many psychologists think it's a "born" thing so far. Whatever part of their brains can't do it.. it depends on if that can be caused by other things. Can it be blown out by bad experiences? Psychs don't seem to think so. But they still use it in movies.

      Tag Y

      Delete
    4. ... not having empathy causes other symptoms?

      Delete
    5. What's your point?

      Delete
    6. Unless you're asking. Then I'm guessing you don't know what empathy is.

      Delete
  36. factor 1 trades (pcl-r) are born with (most)
    factor 2 are the result

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. now what if you have factor 1 trades and no or nearly no actor 2 trades

      Delete
    2. then you aren't a psychopath. psychopaths = both factors at a high level.

      Delete
  37. Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
    (the everlasting itch is what i used to call it)
    Lack of remorse or guilt
    Shallow affect (genuine emotion is short-lived and egocentric)
    Callousness; lack of empathy
    Grandiose sense of self-worth

    is that he base and all the rest a consequences?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Want to hear something so friggin weird? I am loved by about 90-95% of the people in my life, but I go to the 5% who hate me, and try to beg for their love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. so beg i 'm not stopping you and i hate you

      Delete
    2. Sorry Eden
      I never begged you. This is people who I did value, which was not you.

      Delete
    3. I could beg if I was in the right situation~

      Delete
    4. Beg and get carrot cake. Or bring me Mr.Hill.

      Delete
    5. Is carrot cake ALL you have?

      Delete
    6. you like roleplay?

      Delete
    7. lets play deliverance

      Delete
    8. If you just beg, that's all you get. If you throw Hill into the deal, I'll bring you other things you want.

      Delete
    9. How am *I* gonna throw Hill into the deal. It is not like I own him or nuthin~

      Delete
    10. Small Joke. I just wanted to know if that crazy one was his wife, honestly. Okay, you beg for my love, you get some things you want. What would you like?

      Delete
    11. Let me think about it, as it is a yummy request and I want to draw it out :D

      Delete
    12. Think about that carrot cake... sleep on it, even.

      Delete
    13. Did someone mention carrot cake? I love carrot cake with a light sweet frost. What do you want with me Anon?

      Delete
    14. I am such a dork. Smiling again, looking more like a retard than ever. I said I want with you here: "Part of me is a total fan of Tom. I smile whenever I see that he's posted on the blog or the forum. I imagine getting along and being there sometimes. Does that make me a dork? Does it sound creepy?

      The other part, of course, thinks Tom kind of sucks."
      I'd just like to talk, I don't know about what.
      Again glad that I can post this anonymously.

      Delete
    15. You give a lot of yourself I see... I know a few dorks who smile like a retard. After all, it takes one to know one, right?

      Why so glad about being anonymous?

      Delete
    16. Why would I post this with a name attached? I find this embarrassing.

      Delete
    17. What is "this" that you find embarrassing?

      Delete
    18. My people interest- obsession isn't the right word, in you. This isn't romantic or anything, and I hope I don't come off as creepy.

      Delete
    19. Could you tell me what would not be creepy about this?

      I have felt some twinge of a romantic feeling to your creepiness, but I understand this isn't romantic in itself:

      "This isn't romantic or anything"

      This isn't anything? Then WTF?

      Delete
    20. I didn't literally mean or anything. I'm sorry if this is creepy. I don't know what to ask you... Faster interaction would be better but we can keep it on the blog or forum.

      Delete
    21. Anon
      If you have something to ask Tom, why don't you just ask. Anything goes. Everyone is weird, here.

      Delete
    22. I can't think of anything to ask, besides "life story", which can be hard to do without asking specific questions. Even if not, I would want a very long story. I will think of things to ask first.

      Delete
    23. Favorite movie/car/color/show
      Reading tastes?
      When's the last time you cried, if you've ever cried? Why?
      When's the last time you raged, if you've ever raged? Why?
      If you could witness any event past, present or future, what would it be?
      What is your first memory of being really excited?
      When was the last time you were nervous?


      All I could think of or find so far. I prefer it to flow naturally in conversations.. not just thinking of questions to ask.

      Delete
    24. That is a good start. You have to start somewhere.

      Delete
    25. Thanks, Anonymous.

      Delete
    26. I could never pick just one movie... but The Outlaw Josey Wales is at the top. Along with: Oh Brother Where Art Thou, Snatch, and both Willy Wonka & Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (they both have uniques humor). But ask again tomorrow and I might throw in American Graffiti, Jaws, and Blazing Saddles.

      Car: I love the look of a corvette... I own a 1980. But I now realize it owns me and I don't like it as much. It's still beautiful, but a car is just a means of getting from A to B, really.

      Color: Most days... purple; unless you consider grey a color. Then Castle Rock Grey.

      Show: TV, Broadway,... what?

      Reading Tastes... ask Green Eyes.

      "When's the last time you cried, if you've ever cried? Why?"

      This morning... ruff visit to the bathroom.

      "When's the last time you raged, if you've ever raged? Why?"

      Loaded question... I rage a lot. Wouldn't want to get caught in an unintentional lie. Let me think about this one.

      "If you could witness any event past, present or future, what would it be?"

      My mother and father having sex for the first time.

      "What is your first memory of being really excited?"

      Fireworks at three years old... they were fucking awesome, and extremely frightening at the same time.

      "When was the last time you were nervous?"

      This morning right before that bowel movement.

      I'll see you in the forum...

      Delete
    27. This is interesting. I like this :D

      Delete
    28. The Anon above wasn't me btw. Thanks, Tom.

      Delete
    29. "When's the last time you cried, if you've ever cried? Why?"

      This morning... ruff visit to the bathroom.

      like my lab retriever. He is a pussy (too)

      Delete
    30. Looks like the forum is about stalkers at this point.

      Delete
    31. If you know you are being stalked, and you know what/who it is stalking you... are they really stalking?

      Delete
    32. Anon 5:32, I'm curious, are you trying to be funny or profound?

      Delete
    33. If a tree/ stalker falls in the woods and no one hears it, is it a stalker/tree?

      Delete
    34. Haha!
      I guess if a stalker with a self inflicted fatal injury falls into a shallow grave in the woods, then problem solved ;)
      Are you a member of the stalked club, Anon?

      Delete
  39. I'm who're you dream of :p

    ReplyDelete
  40. "The idea that the structure to be found in a definable you will mean you're now "something" is part of the new prison you are trying to build yourself. Losing the need to define yourself is more freeing than a correctly applied label could ever be."

    Perhaps the most intriguing thing I have read in two days... thanks, Ell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it's Tom Hill, in the flesh! Fan and foe.

      Delete
  41. http://americanfreepress.net/?p=3596

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you have to take your battery out of your cell phone to ensure NSA isn't recording your conversation remotely.

      Delete
  42. Yes, M.E., why bother trying to be anything other than who you are!

    Because:

    Comparison is an act of violence against oneself!
    Don't you agree?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All comparisons are violent?

      Delete
    2. ^When comparing..........

      Delete
    3. ^Definition of comparing:
      Great force of energy or emotional intensity. Sociopaths may have a difficult time with "emotional intensity?"

      Delete
    4. Definition:

      Definition of COMPARISON

      1
      : the act or process of comparing: as
      a : the representing of one thing or person as similar to or like another
      b : an examination of two or more items to establish similarities and dissimilarities
      2
      : identity of features : similarity
      3
      : the modification of an adjective or adverb to denote different levels of quality, quantity, or relation
      http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/comparison


      Not getting violence.

      Delete
    5. My 8:07 should have read:
      Definition of VIOLENT not comparing.

      Delete
  43. look up the blog benevolent sociopath on tumblr...it's much more interesting...this petty arguing about wanna be this and that is useless bullshit and is boring as hell honestly...shouldn't spend all your time trying to prove or self diagnosis. BORING and OLD, boo. This useless ranting is the reason that I have never posted on this site

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And you are here now because?

      Delete
  44. I don't have cable

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing on, anyway.....

      Delete
  45. so what did you stop on? to watch?

    ReplyDelete
  46. I'd like to see a "seeker" encounter a real sociopath who is playing the role of a bf/gf, "good friend", or family member, then they will figure out that they are not on the same level. It would be like doberman vs. a miniature doberman.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Who gives a flying fuck on what/who is classified a sociopath?! The need to even justify such foolish fuckery with a response shows that you yourself are not one. *pttttwh* i spit in the faces of all you fakes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bro, if you dont care about sociopathy or what it is, then why are you even on this site? At least i am man enough to admit that i am interested in the disorder.

      Delete
  48. "The desperate wish to feel this nothingness as a means of escaping depression or anxiety or a creeping sense of failure perhaps"

    sociopaths who feel failed may also take refuge in explanations of sociopathy.

    ReplyDelete
  49. This entire website is guilty of exactly what you are critisizing this guy for. The entire time i have been looking through this website i have been thinking that many of you seem proud to be a sociopath. Its like a sociopath support group. Its like you put yourself above all others because you think you know how to "ingeniously" take advantage of them. You look down on people who, god forbid, feel empathy for others, like it is a weakness. And people is one thing, but harming an innocent animal is another. I realize some don't harm living things, they just feel nothing. Seeing an animal suffer breaks my heart more than watching a person in pain honestly. But I'm getting off topic. My point is, most people who classify themselves as sociopaths on this site seem quite proud of the fact, or maybe they just wish they were sociopaths. And when anyone critisizez these antisocial people here they are weak in your eyes or have just had a bad experience with a sociopath in the past. But has anyone ever had a good experience with a sociopath. Anyone can see the difference between right and wrong. And by the way, you guys are more transparent than you think. My point is we all have to choose between right and wrong on a daily basis and we all have a responsibility if we want to be an active part of society to treat each other with respect and dignity (even if it really hard for you to do because "everyone is just asking to be used"). Regardless if it seems cool to put yourself above all others and to use them before they use and hurt you. Learn some healthy coping skills instead of encouraging each other to be more disturbed.

    ReplyDelete

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