Saturday, September 22, 2012

Halo effect

As a partial continuation of yesterday's post, I found this description of how child molesters target their victims and get away with it to be pretty interesting and relevant to all victims and victimizers. From Malcolm Gladwell via the New Yorker:


The successful pedophile does not select his targets arbitrarily. He culls them from a larger pool, testing and probing until he finds the most vulnerable. Clay, for example, first put himself in a place with easy access to children—an elementary school. Then he worked his way through his class. He began by simply asking boys if they wanted to stay after school. “Those who could not do so without parental permission were screened out,” van Dam writes. Children with vigilant parents are too risky. Those who remained were then caressed on the back, first over the shirt and then, if there was no objection from the child, under the shirt. “The child’s response was evaluated by waiting to see what was reported to the parents,” she goes on. “Parents inquiring about this behavior were told by Mr. Clay that he had simply been checking their child for signs of chicken pox. Those children were not targeted further.” The rest were “selected for more contact,” gradually moving below the belt and then to the genitals.

The child molester’s key strategy is one of escalation, desensitizing the target with an ever-expanding touch. In interviews and autobiographies, pedophiles describe their escalation techniques like fly fishermen comparing lures. Consider the child molester van Dam calls Cook:


Some of the little tricks that always work with younger boys are things like always sitting in a sofa, or a chair with big, soft arms if possible. I would sit with my legs well out and my feet flat on the floor. My arms would always be in an “open” position. The younger kids have not developed a “personal space” yet, and when talking with me, will move in very close. If they are showing me something, particularly on paper, it is easy to hold the object in such a way that the child will move in between my legs or even perch on my knee very early on. If the boy sat on my lap, or very close in, leaning against me, I would put my arm around him loosely. As this became a part of our relationship, I would advance to two arms around him, and hold him closer and tighter. . . . Goodbyes would progress from waves, to brief hugs, to kisses on the cheek, to kisses on the mouth in very short order.
Even when confronted, child molesters frequently get away with it because they seem so charming and likable and molestation is such a horrible thing to believe about someone, much less accuse someone of participating in:

The pedophile is often imagined as the dishevelled old man baldly offering candy to preschoolers. But the truth is that most of the time we have no clue what we are dealing with. A fellow-teacher at Mr. Clay’s school, whose son was one of those who complained of being fondled, went directly to Clay after she heard the allegations. “I didn’t do anything to those little boys,” Clay responded. “I’m innocent. . . . Would you and your husband stand beside me if it goes to court?” Of course, they said. People didn’t believe that Clay was a pedophile because people liked Clay—without realizing that Clay was in the business of being likable.

I thought this was an interesting example of the halo effect, the residual goodwill that accompanies one good trait like physical attractiveness or likability and unduly impacts the viewers ability to accurately assess other aspects of the person. The overall impression of the person as likeable blinds the viewer to evidence that the person does bad things. Take as an example Jerry Sandusky -- so successful and relatively powerful in his own slice of the world that he is able to get away with one of the most unthinkable crimes for decades.

What I don't understand is, how did humans evolve to be this way in the first place? Shortcut thinking? First impressions are actually more accurate than they are inaccurate? Not like I'm complaining. Obviously I have benefited from being able to fly "under the halo" myself.

146 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Alright, I'll read this shit later. Today's going to be fucking awesome. Peace.

      Delete
    2. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 4:53 AM

      LMAO!!!!!!

      Delete
  2. FIRST! That’s four in a row. I’m stepping up the game, ladies and gentlemen. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ARGGGHH!! LOL!!

      I'd say nicely played, Extremity- but my foot is is currently stuck in my mouth.

      Well done. :)

      Delete
    2. Thanks. :P

      Have a good day.

      Delete
    3. Well night, don't know about your time.

      Delete
    4. Close, Alterego, but as they say, close is only good enough for horse-shoes and hand-grenades.

      Delete
  3. There dont seem to be any co'-factors witth pedophiles. It comes down to subtle cues and intuition when identifying them- gut instinct. I identified one once and what made it challenging is that you never catch them in the act, and you are facing ruining someones life based on flimsy evidence and intuition.

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  4. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 5:10 AM

    I know this has nothing to do with the subject at hand, but please give me your thoughts and opinions on this....... Sometimes, I think I have many more sociopathic traits than I actually think I do......

    So this morning I go to the methadone clinic to get my dose and at the window the nurse said "Richard, do you work?" and I said "No, not right now, but I just put in an application last week" (which is true) and she looked at me and said "No you didnt", so I just laughed and said "No, I really did" than she asked me "What do you do all day long then?" and I said "Nothing" and she goes "Damn that is sad" and I said "Yeah, I guess". Than she said "Do you live with your mother?" and I replied "Yes" and she said "I would have done been kicked you out already" (She is black) and at that point I started thinking to myself, does she want me to leave here and commit suicide today? Than she asked me if I had anybrothers or sisters and I said "Yes, one brother", and she said "What does he do?" and I told her the honest truth "He lives in california and grows warehouses full of marijuana for the dispensaries" (Which he does) and she said "Well, I was gonna tell you to move to california with him, but nevermind"........ By that time iam done dosing and just wanted to leave so I left.........

    When I got into the car I started seriously questioning my work habits, or lack there of....... And I dont apply for social jobs because I have Agoraphobia and panic disorder and it kinda terrifies me to work with the public.


    I felt like a sociopath, like I dont belong, like iam not like other people, like iam lazy, and it kinda makes me sad........ Now Iam here writing this and iam thinking I may have more sociopathic traits than I even realize..... I would never knowingly hurt another person though, Iam not like that, but I would be content if I never had to leave the house, it is kinda sad I guess (Like the nurse said to me).

    I guess what Iam trying to ask is, how many other people here live a "Parasitic Lifestyle"?

    She made me feel like shit after that encounter :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're depressed, you would probably feel better with some extra endorfines you could easily get by going to a psyquiatrist. To call yourself a socio you should at least be feeling right, THEN observing yourself. Not the other way around. All people are sociopathic when they have lost interest in life.

      Delete
    2. Don't feel bad about what that woman told you. Judging and patronizing the way she did is meaner, sadder and filthier than living a parasitic lifestyle. She needs to make you feel like shit to feel better about herself. It's so easy to laguh it's so easy to hate, it takes guts to be gentle and kind.

      Delete
    3. Truth bites hard (TBH) Harden the fuck up (HTFU)September 22, 2012 at 8:53 AM

      The lady gave him a healthy dose of reality and motivation to think.

      Miss sharp, you ain't so sharp to make it all about that lady. If this guy had a mother like that lady, he would be productive and nondepressed by now.

      Delete
    4. @HTB
      There is a balance between hard and soft. Each tool is needed at a different time. You need wisdom to use each one when it is called for imo

      Delete
    5. ... Violence is the weakest thing when used by weak people unaware of their own weakness. There's nothing lamer than that. I find insulting and damaging quite fun when it serves me as an affirmation of my own will and power. Gratuitous mauvaise fois is pathetic, being grandious in life means being mean while knowing and wanting to, and what for, even if it's for the fun of it. To insult a young man in trouble you barely know shows an indecent amount of selfdeception and pride, the absurd pride of the weak pretending to be strong and pretending to be stronger than... whom? What was this lady's point? If I had been the youn man, I would have faught back targeting her weakest point just for the fun of making it no contest and having the satisfaction of mirroring to her her own disgusting indignity.

      Delete
    6. Addicts generally display increased antisocial traits while indulging or coming off of substance abuse. When you're all cleaned up and working again, I'm sure those traits will level off after a year or so.

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    7. I really hope so TNP, but I dont plan on stopping Methadone anytime soon. Thank you for your information, I appreciate it.

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    8. Thank you so much Ms Sharp. You are very percoptive and very wise. She is a real bitch to alot of people...... She thinks that since she is clean and goes to church that the people that she dispenses methadone to are loqlife junkies just looking for their next fix (Which some are but not the majority......).


      Iam depressed but I want to try to get my endorphins pumping from working out, not from anything else....... I do have some steroids that I can use when Iam working out but IU dont know if I want to, I have 15mL of 200mg's per mL of Testosterone Cypionate and I have 10mL of 100mg/mL of Trenbolone Acetate, they could help alot with the working out but Iam not sure if I should start doing steroids again, they were left over from a previous cycle.


      Miss Sharp thank you and I hope you stay around as well, you are a very nice and accepting person........

      Delete
    9. To Ms. Sharp @ 12:22 Thank you for defending me and saying that Iam not wrong in my thoughts of wanting to bring myself down to her level and insult her just as much or more than she insulted me.......


      It hurt me, it really did, and Iam paying this bitch $14 a DAY to dispense 110mg's of Methadone to me and than I leave, she shopuld be fucking praising me because IAM THE ONE FEEDING HER FAMILY, (along with my other friends who are patients there too, and ALL PATIENTS).


      WHy be so mean and kick somebody when they are down????? I really wanted to say to her " How about you drink 110mg's of metthadone, go home and an hour after you get home pop a 2mg xanax ( thats what iam prescribed, Iam actually precribed 6mgs a day , 2mg pills, but I only take one 2mg pill in the morning.


      Thank you for being so kind and nice....... I would really like to talk even tommorow and in the future so please stick around and post on a regular basis :)

      Delete
    10. Ro Ms. Sharp @ 12:22 Brilliant, fucking brilliant! I wish I would have done that...... But BELIEVE ME she will never get away with talking to me like that again. Ill chew her apart.......Now I know why there is a window between the nurse and the methadone patient LOL

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    11. LOLOL Never lose your sense of humor Rich!

      Delete
    12. Lmao! Ill try my best not to! Thank you Anon @ 5:18!!!!!


      :)

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    13. Hey Rich, sports for endorphines is just fine, what about running or swimming apart from working out? Alcoholics and drug-addicts with socio/depression issues seem to swim a lot in literature (take Jake in The Sun Also Rises, maybe as a way of connecting to life through the action in water, I don´t know, but it has helped me a lot throughout the years... It's quite hard feeling bad about life or yurself after one hour swim in cold water. I know I souns stupid, but the simplest is sometimes the best idea.
      For your information, born to an alcoholic father, girlfriend to an alcoholic father's son, friend and roommate of one... unless you quit your addictions you will never have the energy or the state of mind to make truthful connections with the others. Of course it's up to you, I'm just saying. You see, I understand why ou wouldn't want to live a real Life. There's more to life than booze, you know, but not much more LOL.

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    14. LOL thank you Miss Sharp, I have a community swimming pool where I live so I can swim whenever I want to, that is a good idea and I hear it is great exercise. The running part isint too good for me because I have asthma, but the pool sounds great, I just went there a couple weeks ago and swam for 2 hours.


      :) Ive decided to quit the weed tommorow (Monday) and I heat that Walmart wants to hire a half million new employees for the holidays so it should be out of my system by then, I bought a drug test for marijuana at the dollar store (it was only $1!!!!) so I can test myself to see when it is out of my system....... I also get tested at the methadone clinic too so I will know through both ways.

      Thank you for your suggestions and support, I appreciate it!

      Delete
  5. It's the drugs buddy. Can't live with 'em, can't fucking live without 'em

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 5:32 AM

      Yeah, I take 110mg's of methadone every morning and Iam prescribed 6mg's of xanax a day but I only take one 2mg pill every morning like two hours after my dose to make it feel stronger........ I also like to smoke weed and drink alcohol every day but Iam thinking of quitting weed cause I REALLY need a job :(

      But like you said, I cant live a "drug free" life, I dont know how, I have been high since I was 13 years old! I may have to give up weed for awile though.........

      Delete
    2. Not being proud of your parasitic lifestyle is not sosiopathic.

      I have a family member who's on Meth and they try very hard to get a job but the meth has done so much apparent damage that they appear
      slow or retarded. This is a really sad situation. They don't go completly off because of fear (of many things).

      They don't live with me now, thier on thier own I keep in close contact with them and use alot of positives when talking and they seem to be putting a full effort into being stable but they have a drug mentality that I wish to God they could over come.

      Delete
    3. Rich
      I can relate to terrible anxiety. I never took psych drug because I don't trust drug companies.
      However, I bet SW can help you, as it has helped me a great deal.
      All that you go through, on here, good and bad, will help you to find out who you are. When you do, many things will become clear. With that clarity, you life can move forward.

      Mine is. I owe SW a great deal of the credit. I am, forever, grateful to ME to let us have a place which is free to go wherever it will go, unimpeded. In that way, we are free to learn who we are. When we know that, we are not emotionally ill, anymore.

      Delete
    4. I just read your post, Rich. I hate those friggin doctors and nurses, sometimes. They are so arrogant that they should be shot. She should lose her license for talking to you like that.

      Rich, stay here. I have been down so low I never thought I would get better. I have been resurrected like Lazarus. YOU CAN TOO. I am on your side and I love you.

      Delete
    5. Drug’s are a crutch. You gotta’ kick that shit – stand on your own two feet.

      Marilyn Manson nailed it when he sang about you gotta’ do the drugs and not let them do you.

      And I don’t even particularly like that androgynous pale imitation Alice Cooper douche-bag.

      Get a passport, and get the fuck out of Dodge – experience the world. There's a lot more to it than just anonymous shitheads on the fucking internet.

      Delete
    6. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 6:17 AM

      That is why I dont come off of the methadone either, fear...... Fear of relapse on short acting opiates, fear of withdrawal, fear of falling back into that whole lifestyle, fear of going back to the pain clinic and getting back on oxycodone........


      I dont know if I look slow or anything but most people say I look normal/healthy but I may seem slow to a completly sober person......

      Of course Iam not proud of my parasitic lifestyle, how could I be? Iam 24 years old, still live at home, no car,no job, no social life, and a drug/drinking problem........ I dont know how anybody could be proud of that, it just makes me feel sad.

      Then sometimes I think I just use "Agoraphobia" or "Panic Disorder" as an excuse not to leave the house, which is even more unhealthy I think.......

      When I got on methadone I cut off all my old friends, every single one of them was using and I couldnt be around it so when my family moved I changed my cell phone number and deleted my facebook page so nobody would or could get in touch with me.......


      I just feel stuck, like I have become used to living this way and am afraid of change, but I do want to change, I want to work and be a productive person and make money. I wanna live on my own....... I know the weed is holding me back so I think I need to quit that, because I cant pass a drug test only because of weed (I have prescriptions for the xanax and methadone) so I need to get on top of that but ive been smoking since I was 13, it scares mme to stop because I love it so much, but I know I have to stop if I ever wanna have a life of my own........ I wish I would have quit years ago and never even got into this situation in the first place.....

      I guess iam gonna have to quit weed. Maybe I will start on monday at the beginning of the week, I heard that psychologically it is better to quit on a monday in the beginning of the week (Like a fresh start I guess) and I wanna start working out again, I put on like 25 lbs just from my sedentary lifestyle of taking methadone, coming home, taking xanax and smoking weed, taking a nap, wake up, start drinking, drink til I blackout, wake up and do it all over again. I need to change or ill be doing this my whole life......

      I guess I just have to take baby steps until the steps get big on their own, because many small steps can and will equal a big change in my life.....

      Thank you for sharing your family members and your experience with me, I appreciate it.

      Delete
    7. Mindless Pleasures
      You need your own account. Use your old one with that long name. Eden imitates posters, so people never know when it is you.

      She used to imitate me and have me be a trash mouth~

      Delete
    8. But I am already a trash-mouth

      Delete
    9. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 6:24 AM

      Thank you Monica, reading your posts made me smile, I love you too for being so nice and sweet to me..... I am going to stick around sociopath world and hopefully learn about myself alot more, I never thought this would be a place for me to "Find myself" but sometimes things just happen and now it seems like agreat place to find myself, especially with members like you who are so helpful and empathic.

      Thank you for your posts, they made me smile after feeling like shit the last couple of hours....... I couldnt believe how much of a snobby bitch she sounded like, I couldnt believe what was coming out of her mouth...... I should have sad "It must be sad being BLACK too" but Iam not a hurtful person and would never want to emotionally hurt anybody....... But if she ever talks to me like that again Iam not gonna let her get away with it, she kinda pissed me off.......

      Thank you for your support Monica, Iam not going anywhere, iam going to give SW a chance and stick with it :) Thank you again <3 :)

      Delete
    10. Get fucked you racist cunt. You've lost all respect from me. End of.

      Delete
    11. The real Mindless Pleasure has a wit and an intelligence to which the fake could never attain. The fake one, like all Eden's sock puppets, have a dead feel to them.

      Eden, try to heal yourself, rather than worry about me or trying to be fake people. I know you won't, but I tried~

      Delete
    12. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 6:28 AM

      I agree Mindless Pleasures, drugs are nothing but a crutch, a cruth I dont need or particularly want.

      I wish I could just pick up and travel the world, but I literally have $25 to my name, Iam broke as joke and that is why I want to work, to make money but also to develop people skills and not be so scared when leaving the house. I also want something to do with my time so what could be better than a job, making money and keeping busy at the same time is something I would love to do........

      Thank you for not being judgemental and being so kind to me, I appreciate it more than you even know.......

      Delete
    13. I think the one trait a person needs at SW is gut level honesty. I think that is respected and earns one a place, here. Fakeness will get you kicked off, on your ass. The thing that was attacked was your ego, not you.

      That being said, I have almost left several times from feeling too rejected to stay. At those times, someone will encourage me to stay. They will tell me that the prize is in knowing myself. That is very true. That prize is priceless. You cannot find it, in most places because people lie.

      On here, they don't.

      Delete
    14. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 6:32 AM

      LOL @ Mindless Pleasures....... Iam not a racist but that is the only thing I could have said to her to bring myself down to her level and hurt her.......


      But if you dont want to associate with me or be my friend, than so be it.

      Delete
    15. Get a job

      Delete
    16. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 6:35 AM

      Monica is that the real Mindless Pleasures or a fake one? I dont know which one to believe but I guess they hate me now anyway.......

      It can be hard to get to know yourself and some people here are jerks but as long as I know you are around and people like you are around here at SW I will stay and give it a shot.

      Delete
    17. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 6:36 AM

      Iam trying to get one Mindless Pleasures, I been putting in applications and nobody calls back but I need to quit the weed so I can get a job anywhere that drug tests which will open up alot more doors for me.

      Delete
    18. If Mindless Pleasures sounds like a pure out jerk, it is the fake one. Don't pay attention if you see that. It is Eden. She is a multiple personality, so she imitates people until they get accounts. She will imitate you, too, or has, most likely.

      Delete
    19. This is the real Mindless Pleasures and you're a loser. FACT.

      Delete
    20. I am here for you, Rich. There are quite a few great people on here. You will find them, if you stay xxx

      Delete
    21. Volunteer at an animal shelter Rich, I promise this would be good for you and not alot of hours to deal with. You'll be doing something that will start better things for you.

      Delete
    22. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 6:40 AM

      MP- Iam sorry if I offended you, I just want you to know that. Iam not racist but it was the only thing I could have said to hurt her and bring myself down to her level...... If I was racist I surely wouldnt live in South Florida....... There are more blacks/hispanics than whites here and I have grown up here all my life...... If a person is nice and a good person that is all I care about, not the color of their skin.

      Delete
    23. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 6:43 AM

      MP- I agree Iam a loser......

      Monica- Thank you dear, I have already found one of them (you), and I do plan on staying around :)

      TIK- Maybe that would be good for me...... I love cats, I have four of them myself that live here and I think I would enjoy doing that.

      Delete
    24. It is NOT the real MP, Rich. Don't answer that loser, Eden.

      Delete
    25. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 6:45 AM

      Monica we arent talking to the real Mindless Pleasures are we?

      Iam sorry if I offended you MP, I apologize and that is all I can do.

      Delete
    26. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 6:46 AM

      Oh okay thank you for letting me know that Monica.....


      Fuck you Eden........

      Delete
    27. You would love it.
      Don't feel bad for living with your parents, be grateful you have them. Your not a loser your loved by them, that shows your worth something. And believe me they don't have to they want to.

      Delete
    28. Get fucked. I'm out of here and will only come back to interact with interesting people from now on.

      So you can use my identity all the fuck you want. Everyone can see through your unintelligible bullshit.

      Bye

      Delete
    29. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 6:51 AM

      :) Thank you TIK, that makes me feel alot better. They do love me, and I do love them, dearly...... I love my mother to no end, I would die for her in a second, no questions asked.


      I may volunteer if there is a local animal shelter, I hope there is a close one (because I dont have a car)

      Delete
    30. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 6:53 AM

      There is the real Mindless Pleasures......Dont let those bored trolls push you away from coming here......

      PS_ How exactly do you set up an account? I would like to set one up so nobody imitates me like they do to MP.


      FUCK YOU EDEN!!!!!!!!

      Delete
    31. Go to Google and set up an account Rich. Eff you, Eden!!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
    32. My friend makes real good money dog walking. But you have to be dependable. Just put up computer made signs around the neighborhood if there's no animal shelters close by.

      Delete
    33. Rich the uber empathSeptember 22, 2012 at 7:26 AM

      Monica, I have a Gmail account, but do I just go to the Reply as: at the bottom and click google? Nobody has imitated me yet but I dont want them saying mean things and people thinking its me.


      TIK- Interesting, my mother has actually recommended for me to try an animal shelter too so if I ask her Iam sure she will know the location.

      Dog walking would be a perfect job for me, as I would only have to deal with animals (mostly)....... That is a great idea......

      Delete
    34. Hey it worked!!!!!! I had to do it temporarily because I wanted to use the Name "Rich the Uber Empath" but now I know how to make a profile! Thanks Monica!

      Delete
    35. Resolve what? If I hurt you or offended you in some way I would love to resolve it.

      Delete
    36. Rich you were ment for so much more than all of this, just believe it. And if your lost, go exploring!

      Delete
    37. Are you ok Monica? I notice you start mentioning Eden more often when you're really anxious about your life. It didn't seem worth mentioning in the beginning, but now your obsession with Eden seems to be spiraling out of control. Everyone else here can tell that the anon who keep fucking with your head, are not Eden, except you. I think they want you paranoid, and you keep playing right into their hands. You keep telling the other posters to ignore it, but you, yourself, cannot. If you would like to talk about what is really stressing you out, I will be here to listen without judgment. But please; for the sake of all the other posters, and for your own sanity, stop obsessing over Eden. It will only set you back on your progress, and irritate those people here who want to help you get better.

      -L.L.

      Delete
    38. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    39. I don't care about Eden. I just don't want her to mess with new people who come on. Some people are very vulnerable and don't need someone playing with their head like Eden does by taking over people's accounts. I don't care for myself, but I won't stand by when she harasses other people especially new people.

      Delete
    40. Monica, now you have been told by several regulars that it is not Eden. I'm trying to be nice to you about this even though it's starting to get rather irksome that you won't listen to reason. You must let her go; move on.

      Delete
    41. The whole thing is stupid.

      Delete
    42. Nobody cares about Eden, but some asshole is posing as people. That asshole is probably Eden, but it doesn't matter who it is. You are right on that. We will call it/her some asshole who is posing as people ~

      Delete
    43. Thank you TIK, Iam trying to explore, especially my inner self, and that is the main reason I have come to SW and decided to stay. THe second reason I decided to stay are the good people on this site like you and Monica. Thank you TIK, I appreciate your kindness.

      Delete
    44. :) Thank you for having such a big heart and not letting me get discouraged by the mean comments on here Monica! I wont let them ruin the time that I have here with the good people like you and TIK.

      Delete
    45. PART of your recovery will be to learn to blow off people who don't matter. That will be a big step to your recovery from social phobia. I will, always, be at your side. You can count on that <3 <3

      Delete
    46. Be the example for him, Monica. Guide him with your own actions, and learn to blow off the people who don't matter. Calling attention to them obsessively, and reacting compulsively, gives them importance. How bad does it hurt you if you say nothing, and don't react?

      Delete
    47. That is very, very true Monica. I have been striving at that for YEARS but I just cant help it...... It's like EVERYBODIES opinion matters to me and it really shouldnt, it gotten to a level where it is pathological and I have been diagnosed with Agoraphobia and Panic Disorder.

      I wish I could just not care what ANYBODY thought of me, kinda like the psychopath has, I envy that about them but I dont like any other parts of sociopathy, besides maybe the unhampered by guilt part too :)


      Thank you Monica <3

      Delete
    48. Rich
      If you stay here( which I pray you will) you will get a lot of tough love, which will be good for you. People will take your inventory, which will be painful, but good.
      You will, also, learn to ignore some jerks like Eden and some others. All in all, you WILL heal, if you don't give up.
      I went from being afraid of everything to having my own business which is getting more and more successful. The main thing for a person is to believe in oneself. One can't fake it. It must be real. You will start to make the kind of progress I have, if you stay here.
      I am not that great. I am not saying I am.However, I have changed a great deal from the days I rolled in these doors like a friggin lunatic :D

      Delete
    49. :) YOu ARE great and you sound like you are doing great! Iam gonna stay and get that tough love! I kinda want UKan to tell me what a failure I am like the guy below suggested. LOL

      Iam going to stay and find myself no matter how long it takes or how harsh people are mto me!


      Thanks Monica!

      Delete
    50. To Anonymous @ 1:47, it hurts more when I dont speak up than when I do.......

      Delete
    51. There is a difference between speaking up and reacting, Rich. Eden is no longer here. She is not the anon who keep high jacking the names of other posters. Monica has been told this time and again. I have seen Elicit call her out on it. Extremity has called her out on it. Ukan has called her out on it. Alterego has; the list is rather lengthy of people she has accused of being Eden. Despite this effort to make her see her delusions; her obsession with Eden being every "bad" person on here, continues.
      You showed that you are easily lead by a lie and obsession that doesn't belong to you, when you let Monica's delusion become your own, and started shouting "FUCK YOU", at a person you don't know, and who isn't YOUR problem. Eden lives in Monica's head now. Accusing one person of every wrongdoers crime, is also a crime. Eden is not here to defend herself against these allegations, which is all they are.
      Monica says she won't stand for someone messing with the minds of the new comers, and I will not stand by and watch her continue to hurt everyone's progress here, including her own, by making her obsession, theirs. If this were real life, and Monica were to accuse the wrong person of a crime, then some innocent would be serving time for a crime they didn't commit.
      Which makes me wonder if Monica does do this in real life. How many people has she gotten into serious trouble because of her delusions? I urge you to make your own judgment of this place without the influences of others. Let Monica wrestle with her Eden demon on her own, and only listen to what you know to be fact.
      That's my good deed, and friendly advise for the day. Take what you want of it, and leave the rest behind.

      No offense to you at all, Monica. I say all of this as a faceless friend. Please hear my concerns with the ears of a true Christian, and the loving person I know you to be. :)

      Delete
    52. Ok I know that is you, Alter. Here is the deal, I will talk to "The person hijacking other people's accounts who remains nameless". Will that make you happy?
      I think it is Eden. It feels like it is, but it may not be. She is a multiple personality disorder, so it probably is. However, I will just talk to the "nameless person trying to hijack people's accounts" if that makes you feel better ~

      Delete
    53. This is not Alterego, my friend. Do you see how bad this is getting for you? The fact is this; I have seen other regulars tell you time and again that they were the anons you have accused of being Eden, and you refuse to let it go. How long does she have to be gone before you realize she left you here, and went on with her life?
      I'm saying all these things to help you, because I think this is another real problem of yours that you need to start acknowledging.
      Would it bother you if Eden were NOT the anons you think are her?
      You say she doesn't matter to you, but you practice the opposite behavior of not caring. If you didn't care, you wouldn't even say her name. I challenge you to count how many times you have said her name in today's thread.
      Now you are saying that you KNOW that this is Alter. I am not she. Why are you doing this to yourself? I really want the truth here. How much does it hurt to think that Eden can just go on with her life as if nothing happened, and you are still here, shouting out her name every day?
      Please hear what I am saying with the ears of a woman who wishes to continue to heal.

      Delete
    54. Geez Louise
      I don't care about Eden. I don't like the person who is trying to harass people. I will address that nameless person if that makes people happy. OK?
      From now on, it won't be Eden. It will be 'nameless person trying to harass people" Is that acceptable to you ~

      Delete
    55. I don't believe you, Monica. You are avoiding the truth in your actions. Yes, I would love nothing more than for you to stop calling every game playing loser here, Eden. But this is not the point I am trying drive home. Your obsession with her is evident. It will still occupy your mind even if you are not putting it down in writing. How will you make it go away? You do care about Eden. I'm not saying you love her. I'm saying you cared about her opinion of you enough for it to damage your ability to see the truth. Why is that hard for you to admit?

      Delete
    56. Tell you what; I am going to leave the subject alone now, as I do not wish to rub you raw. Just think about my words to you, my friend. Lay it on the alter before God. Let him be the judge of the wicked, and you be the vessel for him to fill with his grace, and love.

      Peace be with you.

      L.L.

      Delete
    57. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    58. OK LL
      I am being called to stand up against some scary things in my real life. Eden has the importance of an ant to me.
      When I see Rich come on here and some"person" messing with him, I think it is Eden. It could be someone else.
      I just want to reach out to the new people and lend a hand.
      Thank you for being a friend and not a source of strife. I have a lot going on in my real life and I don't need hassle about Eden, who means nothing to me.
      Thanks!

      Delete
    59. You are most welcome, Monica Darling. I hope that you will be able to put that burden in the past where it belongs, and embrace what is real in your present life. You are strong enough to do what is best. :)

      Delete
  6. According to this article, i must not be a psycho XD http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/09/120920115739.htm

    ReplyDelete
  7. You respect no one.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You know where to find me if you would care to resolve this once and for all. Communication.

    ReplyDelete

  9. 
MonicaSeptember 21, 2012 4:40

    ....Delusional and unrealistic goals 3


    
TNPSeptember 21, 2012 5:16 PM


    There are no 3s you fucking idiot.



    ReplyDelete
  10. Delusional is YOU......none of it had to b this way. You are a coward.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A "lab rat" of sorts....or call it a "social experiment" not sure how you would reference me.....I'm sure I have all kinds of titles, everyone does right?

      Delete
  11. A fucking bad episode of the muppets!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Rich the Uber Empath:

    Listen carefully:

    You are not an Uber Empath. You are quite sociopathic. You learned to appear nice and say the words people wanted to hear (watch your performance up there) to continue your parasitic life style.

    For you the choice is clear. Between working and staying sober you have almost always chosen drugs and parasitic life style.

    The chances are you already figured out how to get government support as well. All you have to do is share how abnormal you are once in a while.

    You mask well, and narcs will always buy it, especially well-meaning family members (and monicas).

    You are not the learning into action type because you have been aware of everything you said here (all that is above where you play the sweet honest boy).

    Setup an account where monica can send you some money along with majority of the lovefraud types. Embrace your socio side, stop delusion of sweet, weak guy. Had you not drugged yourself so much and figured out the option of parasitic life style you would have figured out by now how to steal and get violent.

    I wish UKan was around to give you a better dose of reality in a way you drop the mask of nice, kick your ass really hard, humiliate you, show you that you are just like many of his loser customers.

    If you have any peace of brain that's not already cooked on drugs start thinking how to make anything worthwhile so someone will pay for you.

    Consider being a jigolo, at least you'll make some woman happy. So, yeah, get off the couch and lose some weight and read and study 'how to make women happy.'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can Sociopaths have empathy? Can I be asociopath but still have massive amounts of empathy for all things? If the answer is yes, than I may be sociopathic......

      Iam not just being the "Good boy" and telling them what they want to hear, that would be pointless. I was being BRUTALLY HONEST on a subject that has bothered me alot even before the encounter at the methadone clinic. The methadone clinic encounter just made me feel like shit for not ALREADY doing what I know I should have been......

      Iam going to stop smoking weed on monday so I can get a job. I know what I have to do and once I get the job I can start smoking again, If I want. But to pass the idle time I will have that I spent getting high I will be excersizing so I can lose some of the weight I have put on.

      Thank you for your post. Iam not trying to manipulate anybody here, Iam just being real and in a few months Iam sure you will see my progress.

      PS- I like Ukan, he is a drug dealer right? I used to deal drugs too, it was EASY money..... But you cant trust anybody these days and one day one of my customers rolled on me and I got arrested for selling weed. I was in benzodiazepine withdrawal when I got arrested so I asked to be taken to the hospital and about 3 hours after my arrest I had a full blown seizure in the hospital (thank god I was there for them to stop it and save me) there are easy ways to make money like dealing, and I have thought of dealing again, but that is a last resort type of thing...... You Ukan can be harsh sometimes but I guess thats just how he is.

      Delete
    2. PS- Iam on no government support although I probably could get it for my Asthma/ Panic Disorder/Agoraphobia, but I dont want that for myself, I WANT TO WORK! I wanna get out, work, meet people, get drunk with friends, start banging chicks again as frequently as I used to.

      If it means giving up weed for a few months than I think it is a worthwhie tradeoff.

      Thank you for your insight.

      Delete
    3. Also, you are quite right, that is very fucking sociopathic of me!

      And I love how you wanted to have Ukan (a known drug dealer) rip me apart and humiliate me because Iam exactly like one of his customers....... But all I really buy is weed so I dont have to deal with the very shady types I used to like when I used cocaine/crack. I quit that shit and dont do it anymore. but I used to sell weed for years too, so I know how it is to be a "Ukan" too. lol


      Maybe I should embrace my sociopathic side, its just hard to when you have a conscience to be violent. I wouldnt mind stealing from the rich...... lol Madoff style.........

      Do you think Iam a sociopath?

      Delete
    4. People who proclaim to be one type of personality, in as obnoxious a way as you have with your title of choice, are usually the opposite. Take Monica for instance. She came here saying that she was an uber empath, and now she knows she is a narcissist.
      Think dating sites. The one person pointing out many times that they are a "nice" person, is probably the one with the most anger issues, who will fuck you 6 ways to Sunday if you should bruise their ego.

      Delete
    5. It is fucking hard to know yourself, dip shit, unless someone is perfect like you~

      Delete
    6. ^Anger issues and fragile ego.

      Delete
    7. @ 6:12 That could be very true and that is why iam here, to find myself.

      Delete
  13. I love those environmentalists they think they can save the planet. As jaded as an NPD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the planet is fucked and so are you.
      Now bend over and take it like the bitch you are!

      Delete
  14. http://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a110.htm

    ReplyDelete
  15. Just Melvin, Just Evil

    ReplyDelete
  16. Why did all my posts go from purple to green.....hmmmm musta needed to git

    ReplyDelete
  17. Today's post is muy caliente. I read somewhere that psychopaths have a bad sense of smell.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. they got hannibal lector wrong, then? He knew what kind of bath soap clarice used.

      Delete
    2. I think it's more incidental. Like I can live in filth unless my attention is called to it. If I don't act on it immediately it will cease to bother me.

      Delete
  18. that article up there at 1030 is a bunch of shit.

    ReplyDelete
  19. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_2M3LrfFAw&feature=related

    ReplyDelete
  20. "Flying under the halo"

    People just like to stick their heads in the sand and ignore the "bad" in the world. The masses will rationalize anything away if they can just make their world "beautiful" and "nice". It isn't until the "monster" begins to eat the children when people get a clue and start asking the hard questions they tried even harder to avoid. This thing we call a sociopath is great at working in those shadows created by all the "monsters" in the world, because they can help "you" stick your had in the sand... they're so good at it, we forget they are "monsters" too.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Tom are you a sociopath? not familiar w all the users yet. I ran off some interesting information about viruses containing child pornograph being placed on innocent peoples computers...it's a sick world for sure

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Didn't understand the significance in emails.....not computer techie so had to have it explained. I guess this would def be a "shadow" you speak of.

      Delete
    2. Anon 4:02

      I am a person who can bring people massive amounts of joy and happiness or unbelievable quantities of pain and heart ached, and I get the same amount of satisfaction from either...

      Delete
    3. Accolades to you, Tom Hill.

      You'll soon be down the hill, so says your tea cup.

      Delete
    4. ^LMFAO! Now THAT was funny!

      Delete
    5. Tea cup;

      I have been falling down a "hill" my whole life!

      Shit rolls down "hill"... I hate all this shit running down my back.

      And, yes at sometime... I will be over the "hill".

      I love it when people are cute:o)

      Delete
    6. A posse of cuteness :-)

      Delete
  22. Replies
    1. Theme for Rich giving up weed on Monday

      Delete
    2. LOL! Not for life, just so I can get a job.

      :)

      Delete
  23. That's quite a pleasant attitude, Rich the U-E. SOmehow, I don't buy it. I will buy it when I see it. I buy actions not words, or potentialities. You follow through, report to us, and there we go, we buy it.

    Yes, I do think you are more sociopathic with your parasitic acceptance than uber empath. WHat have you felt and what have you done for anyone other than yourself as an empath? Parasitic folks typically offer the whole world to others in words, because they are safe in that there is nothing to lose in reality. It is when they have money one day we can see if they really are do-gooders to different folks they supposedly empathize with.

    So, yes, I'd be happy to see you pull it off. Turn the table around and make some money and be on your own, and then decide whether you are dreaming or acting like an empath.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would really like to see that happen too. Iam not making any promises but Iam going to do my best to follow through with it and get a job.

      Delete
  24. I don't want to sound like a know-it-all based on how I addressed R the UE. It's just that I have seen what happens to people just like him. The society almost accepts them till about 30. After that everybody loses respect, and they become mental patient feeding on the family money and the government. So, he has a window of a few years to prove that he can step out to the real world, make it on his own so that he can gain some confidence, and then follow with what comes. I wish him and all others like him good luck.

    IN the meantime, I need to ask for support myself. I'm sick of having hardened up and become too independent too early (18). Now I resent my parents for not being there for me at all just because I did not cry.

    I am fucking angry actually. If Rich the UE has a sibling who is not like him, then I am that sibling and I resent Rich the UE we have at home for feeding on the entire attention of my parents.

    It's as if we(me and other siblings) don't exist. It's all about the parasitic loser at home (sorry R t UE, but I am angry). I am seriously fucking thinking of making up sad/sick/lost money kind of stories just to get a slight attention away from the parasite. It never ends. He is such a drama queen that he'll always have his drama. Poor grades... Drugs.. Asthma... Agoraphobia. Fuck it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol it's okay, I understand your feelings and I take no offense.

      Delete
  25. Anyone want to take bets on when Jerry Sandusky gets iced in prison?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I doubt he will last for more than 3-4 months

      Delete
  26. Replies
    1. Theme for the New People Who Come On the Forum

      Delete
    2. Skillet is fucking atrocious, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

      Delete
    3. Skillet is awesome.What is up with you ~

      Delete
  27. Rich - uber lost. Start cutting back on the drugs. Weed is not so hard to quit. And it's making you lazy an definately anti social/ paranoid. Stop giving a shit about what others say. Get outside, be active. Realize that your mind is going to play tricks on you until you can detox. It's a battle. Drink lot's of water, and for God's sake, cut back on the booze. Turn of the TV, video games. Get in touch with the physical world. The walls are closing in on you. It's time to grow up. At least the lady at the methadone clinic has you pissed off. Anger is fuel for your fire. Just don't piss it on the first person who tells you that you are a Loser. You only get one chance. Death catches us all. Don't give up and keep fighting. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger! Good Luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :) thank you buddy! I know that alot of it is just my mind playing tricks on me and I wanna get that in check...... Iam stopping the weed tommorow so Iam going to see if I get my energy back :)

      It would be nice not to feel so lethargic all the time.

      Delete
    2. Eat raw food. That gives great energy.

      Delete

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