Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Guest post: The Next Generation

I've long been struck by the idea of childhood diagnosis of sociopaths--of exactly how early and easily we can be spotted.  I, myself, was pretty aware of my own differences at an early age.  Couldn't describe it back then, but I always saw the difference, that desire to compete fiercely, and even humiliate, break, and if possible, injure the competition in a way that never led back to me, all while playing adults like fiddles.  Because of this history, I recently recognized another small sociopath with absolute clarity.

Recently, my wife and I were on vacation visiting friends of ours from grad school. They have a five-year-old boy.  It was like looking at a little version of myself.  Seeing this kid take joy in first playing with his puppy, and slowly but surely escalating the play and contact to the level of inflicting intentional pain.  I recognized on his part that he knew precisely when he was crossing a line--looking up, causing the pain when he thought no adult was looking, and the false regret in his voice but clearly not his eyes when caught.  It was like looking back in time into a mirror.  He didn't reserve his violence and force for his pet, either, but also targeted both his parents and my wife and I.   When his parents tried to use the old parenting canard of "you're hurting mommy and daddy" which usually reduces kids to crying, mewling shame-balls, their son only grinned.

If seeing his joy at this weren't a recognition of my own childhood feelings when I caused physical or emotional pain, the cinch was seeing his uncanny understanding of social dynamics, and the privileged role that most kids occupy in society which saves them from adult wrath.  In other words, this child was manipulative beyond his years.  Again, something familiar to myself.

By looking at him, you wouldn't think he's growing up in a nurturing, progressive, yuppie household where both parents hold doctorate degrees (or on second thought, maybe you would).  His parents were oblivious to their little 'angel' and the intentionality of his aggression.  Or at least have developed a practiced obliviousness.

But what surprised me most was how quickly a weekend around a small version of myself stirred up territorial feelings.  Those feelings made me think of the practices of male lions direct towards a competitor's cubs.  Good thing I live half a country away.


72 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. warriors? Come out and play! eh?

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  2. crap with hair on 2nd grrr

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    Replies
    1. ONLY the winner matters, Little Johnny.

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  3. i wonder how mutch bad medecation like retaline does to a kid (not fully developed brain) like long therm use of things like retaline (i read now even anti-psychotics are used to "controle" kids and seniors)

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    1. yeah, and that's why kids are getting fatter by the generation. So we'll take another pharmaceutical for that. like topomax, which makes ya stupid, mkay?

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    2. well, I've been on ritalin for 7 years (since i was 14) and I don't pretend to be ok, but at least i know how to spell things like "much", "ritalin", "medication", and "control".
      yeah, i'm just trolling. i actually agree with you on the somewhat sketchy risk-benefit balance when it comes to medicating children for things like adhd. I was 14 so I had the ability to refuse ritalin if I really objected. But some kids get put on it very early, especially boys, and especially the ones with behavioural problems that make them hard to control in kindergarten classrooms. I continue to take ritalin because I need it to maintain my A plusses. I have a choice, and I accept the downsides and side-effects. It can sometimes feel like a faustian deal with mephistopheles, but i'm willing to sign on to that. I'm not saying that kids shouldn't be put on trials for stuff like ritalin, but they need to be monitored. and they need to be asked whether they want to continue or not.

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  4. question to all selfdiagnosed psychopaths
    did you used to bully teachers
    or others

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  5. Perhaps, this (termed sociopathy) whatever it may be called is something instinctual where one easily sees their own more than the lot is able. That's no surprise. Imagine. If the lot (of so called 'norms') could see they'd run for cover, or at least in the opposite direction. Afterall that's self preservation.

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    1. A spade is a spade is a spade! Little Jonnie.

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    2. little john isn't he the big fella in robbin hood

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  6. being 2nd in command for most of my life (my father is a psychopath2)
    has teached me to be more cunning, manipulative and gave me more patience

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    Replies
    1. Do you want a fucking medal #2? 2nd place sucks dumbass! or should Me say dumb ass little bitch?

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  7. Dead lion cubs: The original teddy bear.

    Is it bad that when I saw their lifeless bodies, I was like, Awwwww so cute! ^_^ Not trying to be morbid, but they totally were the most adorable corpses I've ever seen.

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  8. Hahaha... xD this guest thinks he's noticed another sociopath with "absolute clarity." Like I said, empaths would be better at spotting them... just because this guy hurt a puppy and lied doesn't mean he's an absolute sociopath. A lot of people have hurt puppies and not been sociopaths. Maybe in the future he'll regret it and look back on this. I wonder what he'd think of you thinking he's a sociopath.

    Tag Y

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    1. That is ridiculous. This guy had the context with which to put the information. The empath(such as the parents) was lost.

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    2. Your response was completely ridiculous. Monica, just because it's possible that he may be a sociopath doesn't mean he was right. I didn't say that he made no sense. Giving an example of empaths that were lost or fooled (such as the parents) doesn't really prove me wrong for saying that an empath would better see a sociopath, and that was also ridiculous of you. It is not as if I said that empaths will be able to sniff out a sociopath without fail, no matter what... for example, if they don't see enough signs.. how can they? I also never said that an empath can't be fooled (someone showing no signs doesn't even apply when I say that an empath would better see)

      I still go by what I say. Agree to disagree. I think a psychopath's mind blindness to empathy and morals would make him more likely to assume someone is a psychopath when they are not- false positive, because in his world, lacking empathy and morals makes sense and he would assume everyone was like that if it weren't for the signs other wise... A psychopath might look at someone hurting a puppy and think that it must mean they completely lack empathy because of a generalized view that if you have empathy, you will be against animal abuse..I don't know if I'm explaining this properly.

      But as an empath, I know and better understand that that means nothing in terms of the inability to have empathy... that someone can certainly still be an empath.

      Hoped this helps.

      Tag Y

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    3. Tag Y
      Did you have super bad abuse when you were a kid to the degree that your self fragmented?

      Kany, if you are there, later, I would really love to talk to you.

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    4. LOL at both statements

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    5. Anon 10:41

      Does that mean she wrote them both?

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    6. Monica, was that supposed to be some kind of offensive question? If so: Wow, you're showing your true colors just because we disagreed on something.

      Tag Y

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    7. i meant both statements in monica's last comment

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    8. Not meant to offend. I was just thinking that your response was very amorphous, so I asked.

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    9. Alrighty then- no, no child abuse here. Not sure you can really tell from someone's post anyway.

      Tag Y

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    10. Who is it you are defending here, by proxy?

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  9. Stasis:

    I care not what dragon's think in my world, brutha. But since you brought up a bastardized quote I thought this might be poignant:

    "What thou lovest well remains,
    the rest is dross
    What thou lov'st well shall not be reft from thee
    What thou lov'st well is thy true heritage
    Whose world, or mine or theirs
    or is it of none?
    First came the seen, then thus the palpable
    Elysium, though it were in the halls of hell,
    What thou lov'st well is thy true heritage
    What thou lov'st well shall not be reft from thee

    The ant's a centaur in his dragon world.
    Pull down thy vanity , it is not man
    Made courage, or made order, or made grace,
    Pull down thy vanity , I say pull down.
    Learn of the green world what can be thy place
    In scaled invention or true artistry ,
    Pull down thy vanity ,
    Paquin pull down!
    The green casque has outdone your elegance .
    'Master thyself, then others shall thee beare'
    Pull down thy vanity"


    I caution you on your ego.

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    Replies
    1. Does that orignate from your vampire diaries? Speaketh the Queens Englasio? Quick thick. Quite idiosio! Thinketh Thee?

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  10. Children are psychopaths. Little manipulative beasts is what they are.

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    Replies
    1. No. It's called egocentric. An innate trait that ensures the survival of our species. The differentiatiation lies within an individuals level of perception and their ability to make connections. So fast that the others are lost and they are left alone to.........

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  11. I have often made it known the only children I can tolerate for any long period of time are my own. Other people's kids drive my up the wall.

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    1. I tend to agree with this statement. More so when the non related child is so blatantly out of control and un-parented. It makes me want to punch the idiocy out of their mother and/or father. Maybe because I parent with old fashioned strict rules coming from military backgrounds where children were to be seen and not heard. Parents have been made to feel that they should fear CPS When they shouldn't. There is a fine line between abuse and discipline. I miss the days when you could depend on your neighbor to bust your kids tail if they break the rules.

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    2. Of course they do. Selfish chattle do not take the time to feed the pure minds that come into this world hungry.

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  12. It was interesting when the cub rolled over, as that is the universal language for submission, as most people, probably, know.
    When you want to discipline dogs, you roll them over and stare in their eyes, as a mother dog would.

    It was funny because I had a large Standard Poodle. I took her for a walk and she saw a tiny Beagle puppy running down it's driveway toward her.

    She rolled over in submission to the puppy.

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    Replies
    1. Lions don't respect the tapout, bro.

      And neither do honey badgers. Those assholes don't respect anything.

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  13. Although some lions may kill the young of their "competitors", sometimes all a male cat needs to do to mark its territory is piss on everything.

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    Replies
    1. Just remember: Piss on it AFTER you bite it to death.

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    2. Totally unrelated, but that reminded me of that old Shelby fella that designed a car or two. "give me a light car with a big motor, good seats and a steering wheel. Piss on the rest" :)

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  14. Monica, yyou started to sound more like a malNarc than the woman whom you refer to as malNarc.

    Your story of your mom and dad has quite a bit of parallel to this malNarc woman and the guy you trusted. You used exact same words in both stories. You were shocked by both men's reaction to your attitude; they both sided with the other women.

    You know (cognitively) that a malNarc has a hard time accepting that she is one.

    Just saying as food for thought, not an attack. Even your rage and obsession with what is going on is hinting in that direction.

    What do you think?

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    1. I think I am not a Mal Narc, by definition, as I can accept criticism and can admit mistakes. The Mal Narc has to be perfect. I am, very obviously, not perfect and admit it.

      Everyone has something and I have issues, for sure. A Mal Narc is at the extreme of Narcissism, which I don't think I am but I am too high on the spectrum, or higher than I want to be.

      All this mess is really just ego, if you take it down to it's root. One's ego is out of whack with reality, in some way or form.

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    2. "As I can accept criticism and can admit mistakes."

      Many Mal Narc's do this - it's called lying.

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    3. It's also called "looking like a good person in the eyes of others"

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    4. No, I am too narc like for my liking but not a Mal Narc, as I admit weakness too much for that fixed of a false self.

      I have friggin issues. I am not saying I don't. Anyone who stays here has issues. If you were normal, you would be on a Cooking Blog.

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    5. Anon 12:16

      I see your point ^

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    6. MonicaSeptember 12, 2012 12:18 PM
      "I have friggin issues. I am not saying I don't. Anyone who stays here has issues. If you were normal, you would be on a Cooking Blog."


      That's funny:o)

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  15. My struggles with this topic has led me to a brainstorm. I have the insight to heal the PD. I have reached the bottom, after all my struggles

    The PD is evil.

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    Replies
    1. Evil is abstract Heals... you know this. Many a great man have gone crazy pondering things such as infinite, god, and evil... take some breaths... you are doing so fucking well! I never even considered i could be a flower pinned up in a desert... I'm not, but you have gotten me to thinking some deep deep shit. Hang in there, My Friend.

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    2. Thank you Tom!
      I want to elaborate on what I said, lest I seem nuts, God Forbid~

      I have to start with the Bible, which is absolute truth, to me. Here, you may disagree, but hear me out.

      There is good and there is evil, according to the Bible. It is spelled out. Good is everything that is for the enhancement of man, as God loves man with a passion greater than any human lover.

      So, if man follows God's instructions, man will thrive. He will be well, emotionally and physically.

      Evil is everything that is a lie about God and about man, as well, in the general sense and for each individual, specifically.

      This brings me to a PD. It is a lie about the nature of man.

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    3. "This brings me to a PD. It is a lie about the nature of man."

      I hope you know I would never try to pull you into a debate just to throw rocks at your argument... How is a PD a lie about the nature of man? It's just part of the nature of man as a collective is it not? I mean I see how it is an abnormality (we are some very special snowflakes in deed), but a lie? How so? Is it not in man's nature to be all the things a narcissist, or Beeper, or psycho are to be? Is it not you that showed how we all posses a little Schizo in us? No... we are not a lie... we are not abomination,.. we are just abnormal and nothing more. Stay with me Heals... I might need you real soon.

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    4. I am here, Tom. I am not going anywhere :)

      Well, man was meant to live with emotional peace. Man was not meant to be a tormented soul, as is the case in a PD, any PD.

      Hence, a PD could be called a "torment"
      Are you with me, so far?

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    5. It all comes down to shame.

      Serpent's apple and all.

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    6. I'm following, but where is it said we are not to be tormented? Medusa brings up the serpent... after the serpents manipulation of the woman to betray the man into disobeying His Creator, was man not expected to live a life of torment? But maybe you are going somewhere else with this... pardon my interruption, do continue Heals...

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    7. Great question, Tom, as always!

      Man did bring down travail on himself. That was very true but God always had an answer. God always provided a redemption for man because God loves man with the greatest passion in the world.

      In the New Testament times, accepting Jesus brings one back to one's pristine state, to as much as a degree as one can have on the earth.

      After death, one will be completely returned to that innocent and happy state.

      Now, one can get back to some measure as total healing of all emotional issues/disease i.e PD's is promised.

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    8. We all know Tag Y is Monica - is that true of Tom Hill, also?

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    9. I agree with Me! But was it the serpent or the egg?

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    10. The bible is bullshit. Get over it.

      Science: 1
      Dipshits: 0

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    11. It is not bullshit, TNP dear.

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  16. The lion reminded me of the Jewish "Angel of Death" that went around killing human babies. Its lovely to celebrate that Sociopathic God at Passover.

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    Replies
    1. You got the whole thing wrong. Urrrggh

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  17. - Do narcissists know they are projecting?
    - Do narcissists know they are abusive?
    - Do narcissists know they are lying and denying?

    Thank you for your kind answers,

    Sophia

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    Replies
    1. Those are very good questions, Sophia. Wait, let me change them a bit.

      - Does Monica know she is projecting?
      - Does Monica know she is abusive?
      - Does Monica know she is lying and denying?

      Thank you for your kind answers,

      Extremity

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    2. The smart ones know. When they assess outcomes within the framework of positive and negativge reinforcement, narcs can be quite considerate.
      That's all I got to say about that.

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  18. NO!!!!!!!!!! Everything is about them!, They do not know nor do they care. They will lie and defend and spin you in circles until you yourself will question what's true. I think they truly believe their own lies. Narcissistic people are great actors as well. They cannot be wrong and when they are, it's somehow YOUR fault. I think Narcissists can be more ruthless than sociopaths.

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    Replies
    1. Chicken Little says:

      "The Sky is falling. The Sky is falling."

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    2. She's frigging crazy!!!!!!

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    3. morning boner is aching for some crazy

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  19. Snowflakes are all different right? Kinda like pd's......yet oddly similar haha

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