Thursday, May 2, 2013

What you can learn from sociopaths (part 2)

Continued from the same reader, on the inauthenticity of neurotypicals, the downside of constantly looking to some uncertain future rather than living in the moment, the folly of "setting goals" for oneself, how empath wishful-thinking is a sociopath's playground, how the empath feeds the sociopath his lines, the impermeability of authentic empaths, and what you can learn from sociopaths:


The average neurotypical person is not in touch with his primal desires.  He is not authentic.  Instead he is concerned with some future benchmark that will bring in societal approval. This constant looking to the future prevents a realistic assessment and experience of the moment.  Instead the average neurotypical is constantly attempting to adjust and improve his character to something that will garner a legacy, social proof and close relationships.  Look at Facebook and see how many people are making plans for 5 years from now.  Then look at how they quote a famous philosopher whose words they have just read.  They haven't dwelled on these ideas long enough to comprehend them, let alone internalize them, and yet they think that by merely stating something that they will make it so.  Then before they are one step forward into living that quote they are quoting someone else.  

It's a character issue, average people constantly adjust their character in a Kentucky windage manner(also resembling the narcissist, albeit less extreme) leaving their authenticity just as muddled as before.  They lack a single-minded focus.  They are not in touch with their character because they don't know what it should be.  They are concerned with the future condition of their character and the acclaim that it will garner.  They are not concerned with where it is right now.  They don't know what it is because they see character as something to optimize.  They don't see it as something that just is--something that grows slowly, methodically and subconsciously through habit.  And since they are not interested in where their character is at present they are unlikely to figure out exactly what they truly feel or how they truly are at any given moment.  The average neurotypical thinks he can just wish a new and better character into existence. No wonder team-building workshops and self improvement seminars are always booked.  This wishfulness and lack of present-mindedness opens up weaknesses in the average person.  These weaknesses are ripe for the sociopath with his single-minded drive to exploit.

Character exists in the present, is personal and isn't subject to the reactions of others.  Socially brave/adept neurotypicals know this secret and so do sociopaths.  

The sociopath uses this character flux against the neurotypical and easily permeates the guard.  The sociopath can easily establish a strong rapport.  They just compliment the neurotypical on his/her latent gifts, brilliant opinions, great personality, groundedness, and his/her level-headed approach to life (which the sociopath also claims to share).  This validation of "I like you because I'm like you" feeds the social-proof need of the neurotypical.  The neurotypical leaves the interaction with the sociopath feeling better understood and more validated.  To improve the high the sociopath gave him the neurotypical doesn't apply a scientific eye to what just happened.  Looking at the rapport realistically would make it lose some of its wonder. This lack of realism accompanied with desire for more validation makes him drop his guard to the sociopath.  Once charmed the neurotypical will telegraph what he wants to hear before he asks.  The sociopath can just sit back and be coached into the right lines.

If the average person had more authenticity and a stronger sense of self than he wouldn't be as easily placated with the praise and agreement of the sociopath.

Outgoing authentic neurotypicals, or even cantankerous Clint Eastwood-types are not easily impressed by agreement and outside validation. Authentic neurotypicals are adept neurotypicals. I have great respect for them. They are confident and have the sociopath's level of calm.  They are authentic both inside and outside.  This manifests itself when they are not gun-shy on opinions (the way a sociopath is).  Their opinions are uniquely their own and not solely a means to impress.  In turn this means when they say something they validate themselves through consistency within themselves.  Adept people validate themselves through consistency and authenticity.  These kind of people become comfortable enough in conversation to take strong stances and open themselves up to argument and rejection. They let others know where they stand regardless of the chances for rejection.  This authenticity is a commodity to them and it works best when they project it.  They make what they think strongly apparent to others.  They project honesty, authenticity their personal brand into the environment. They attract strong allies and make it clear that dissenters, and sociopaths, should stay out of their way.  

So neurotypicals can say what they will of the sociopath's mask but at least the sociopath is internally consistent and that is something they should learn.

139 comments:

  1. Hahaha, well, I should have waited for the second part. Finally he talks about me, the adept neurotypical. Hi all adept neurotypicals of the world! It's our task to kill the vampires ;)
    Jessi

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    1. Sooo, in this forum's opinion, are "Adepts" often seen as spaths by "normals"? (Super lol at that concept)(normals, that is.) I am a humble lurker who has found a reason to speak. Jessi, your thoughts would be greatly appreciated on this topic. (I am trying to understand where I "fit in" in society and this thread seems to be headed in an enlightening direction. Thanks in advance to all who respond.)
      B.A.M.

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  2. I should add that it was a great post. I've never analized the basic neurotypicals that way. I was never very interested in them, it was never my goal to manipulate them... I just thought they were stupid. point. and moved on searching for another adept.
    Jessi

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  3. On the other hand I think the term "authentic" is not appropiate for a sociopath, since the most commonly used meanings of it are exactly the opposite of the sociopath traits: honest, trustworthy, factual,... I would say that the sociopath is not authentic, but "self-reliant".
    Jessi

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  4. Now that I came to go terms with yesterday's part...

    "He is not afraid to acknowledge them and is not afraid to risk failure in order to obtain them. "

    Wrong. Sociopaths are risk averse, their goals push them to talking risks but they are terrified by failure. That's why they will do completely ridiculous things to hide their game even when they have been completely unmasked. In those moments, their fear blinds their present-mindfulness to a visibly absurd, almost comical, behaviour.

    Jessi

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    1. Very wrong, they aren't afraid to take risks, at all.

      The adept neurotypical will not be afraid to take position because even if not everyone will agree, he know his speech is at least socially acceptable so there isn't much risk being honest.

      The sociopath will keep his true opinions to himself because those opinions are callous and absolutly not socially acceptable, so his speech wouldn't be defensible. The risk is huge and the reward isn't. It's not fear, it's common sense.

      Also, the more predictable you are, the less control you have. Hiding your game is the best tool to stay unpredictable. Read "The 48 laws of Power" if you want more details.

      So yeah, the sociopath won't reveal himself publicly like the adept neurotypical will, not because of the risk but because that behavior serves him. In fact sociopaths are very ready to take risks (by intimidation, by taking credit for someone else's work, by deceiving and conning people, by creating huge lie webs, etc.)

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    2. Exactly, Anon 1058!
      Very well said.

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    3. " he know his speech is at least socially acceptable " Wrong. It can be or can't be. For example I truly dislike kids and I'm open with it.

      As I said, those risks are taken by the spath because of their greed not because they are ready to take risks. That's why they can become utterly ridiculous when caught.
      Jessi

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    4. You publicly say don't like kids, what a badass you are !

      Come on... one third of young peoples say they don't like kids, many are proud of it. If that's your example of something that is not socially acceptable we clearly are on different scales.

      It is true that sociopath can sometimes become ridiculous when caught, when you have nothing to lose you might as well lie till the end. Most of the time it will work and when it doesn't, doubt is still better than certain guilt.

      Keep in mind that it's very rare to catch a sociopath, caught ones are just more visible than successful ones.

      And you're right, sociopaths take risks only when they get something from it. What kind of idiot would take risks for the sake of it?

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  5. The Subject characterizes the sociopath's charm as a careful and tactical assault against weakened defenses, a subjectively vile and dishonest approach.

    I can only speak from personal experience, but my ability to establish a rapport with others is much less diabolical, and much more subtle. I simply take an interest in the person I'm talking to. I make eye contact, I smile, I gesture, and I make them feel comfortable. I come across as playful and interested in them, mostly because I really am playful and interested.

    If they express some opinion on a heated topic, I will generally be agreeable, but I will try to turn the conversation in a direction that doesn't lead them to question my personal feelings on the matter. I try to make them talk about themselves (people love talking about themselves) and I pay attention when they're talking. People can only become boring when they have nothing new to offer, and even then they are still very easy to handle, because I know so much about them.

    Dear Subject, do you practice this subtle charm? You have spoken as an outsider of all these groups, and have not placed yourself into any of them.

    Also, your authentic neurotypicals present with what I consider a major flaw. Inflexibility. As a sociopath, and in my profession, it is absolutely essential to be able to change one's perspective in the face of new evidence produced by scientific inquiry. Holding strongly to an opinion lends it no great weight, but it does lead to self-righteousness and bigotry. I have strong opinions on issues where claims are supported by either robust or fraudulent scientific evidence. Your authentic neurotypicals will seek out the strongest evidence to support their opinions, even if that evidence has been invalidated. If more carefully designed and independently validated studies contradict the people you respect, they will stick to their guns, and their ignorance of the truth will keep them and those who admire them in the dark.

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    1. Where is this inflexibility prejudice coming from? "These kind of people become comfortable enough in conversation to take strong stances and open themselves up to argument and rejection." We are just devoted to one thing, my dear anon, the truth ;)
      Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas
      Jessi

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    2. You aren't devoted to the truth, you are devoted to your opinions and won't say the opposite of whay you believe, even if it would be in your interest to do so.

      So it's both a quality and a flaw. It's a quality because honesty isn't tiring and because most people like consistency. It's a flaw because 1) it makes you predictable and 2) inflexibility isn't as effective as dishonest adaptativity.

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    3. I am devoted to the fact that my opinions should match the truth, so I am devoted to the truth. And I would not say therefore the opposite (besides in few extreme situations) because the truth, the thing I am devoted too, does not change according to my interests.

      Consistency has few to do with the truth, since it is possible to be wrong, therefore the need to correct the believe. The truth is inflexible and dishonesty is ineffective.

      Jessi

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    5. You are projecting again...
      Jessi

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    6. Jessi, I'm curious as hell how you got to be so flexible?

      I have never before seen someone that good at getting their foot in their mouth while keeping their head firmly up their own ass.

      It's a rather entertaining show.

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    7. Jessi, like everyone your opinions don't match the truth:
      1) Because everything isn't black or white.
      2) Because you managed to fool yourself in that very comment (if you really think honesty is more effective than dishonesty, it's time to grow up, the world isn't a creation of Walt Disney).

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    8. Many things are white, and those are not black... There are also other colors.
      The % of sociopaths in prison is higher than outside. Something might be not working.

      Jessi

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    9. That's it, and you don't see colors, you the "the truth" and "the untrue", while many things (like what's "good" or "bad", social norms, etc.) are just based on opinions.

      Sociopaths don't feel compelled by social norms, so in average they'll respect laws less than neurotypicals.

      That doesn't bother be, since those in prisons are almost exclusively low-functionning ones (more impulsivity and less intelligence than high funtionning ones).

      If you want to see high-functionning ones, you'd be better of in a boardroom than in a prison.

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    10. Wannabe sociopath delusion....
      Jessi

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    11. Speaking as one who tries to be an authentic empath. I try to be consistent on my opinions. While being emotional means that I wont usually change opinions on the spot (of those I am attached to anyway,) I do try to take in all outside information provided and make reasonable and logical conclusions. My opinions are not rock solid though. They are well grounded in information and built on with new information. The more stable or rigid my opinion the more grounded it is. But I don't avoid information that would counter a stable opinion. I actually seek it. If someone gives me information that is logical and doesn't agree with my opinion I will continue to pursue the information until I can make a reasonable conclusion. I often change my opinions, but whether I do or do not means that I have a lot of information on the matter. I am curious if any of the sociopaths (or non) reading this believe that this can be manipulated, and why. I would greatly appreciate a reply to this and thoughts on the matter.
      Thanks
      Heather

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  6. Any opinion held too strongly is just that.

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    1. Strongly hold while believed to be true... But open to arguments and rejection.....
      Jessi

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    2. Seeing other peoples' differing opinions as rejections, rather than viable alternatives is simple stubbornness, not wisdom. I'm always open to changing my opinions, and often do in the face of new information. I stand by my assessment of the authentic neurotypical as described above, but please continue to provide contrary opinions, because I could be wrong, or otherwise misunderstanding something.

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    3. We could all be wrong, we know it, but we have been thinking about it and there is one answer that makes sense and we have strong arguments to think it is the right one, so, we defend it with the proportional fervour. If we have scarce arguments the fervour diminishes. In the case of my spath, his opinions are rarely really thought through. I guess because he doesn't care about forming accurate opinions, since is in his main interest to always be able to adapt his speech to what the other thinks if it is in his personal interest. So, I think he has hardly any really formed opinion about anything... (Besides textbook knowledge) He doesn't care about the truth, just about the useful reasoning (may it be true or false)
      Jessi

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    4. Neurotypicals become emotionally attached to their opinions and integrate them into their self, or core personality. An attack on their opinions equals an attack on their self, and to defend their self they cling tightly to their opinions and hold them against reason. You may think sociopaths as vacillatory, when in reality we are merely more receptive to reason. If you can't examine your own opinions objectively, you will never match the cunning of a sociopath.

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    5. Sorry, I thought we were talking here about the adept neurotypicals not about the basic ones... An adept neurotypical cares about the truth, their self is in an honest crusade to conquer the truth and a wrong opinion will leave him/her inner self intact.
      Jessi

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    6. Basic neurotypicals are dogmatic, and dogma is the enemy of the truth. If I ever fell for a spath, it was not because of his flattering/mirroring ways, it was because he wasn't dogmatic.(by the way, he never understood that...)
      Jessi

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    7. Re-read the last section of M.E.'s post. Adept Neurotypicals hold strongly to their opinions, and reject people whose opinions can be swayed. People that change their opinions in response to new information or situations are branded sociopaths. I think the root of this dichotomy stems from whether people become emotionally attached to their opinions, which all Neurotypicals invariably do, and sociopaths do not.

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    8. Let me pose something to you, Anon Ymous. I pose it with my own situation in mind. I feel like I lost contact with my core self. What is the core self? Is it our feelings? Is it our values? Is it our morals?

      Whatever I lost contact with set me adrift. It has been an awful time in a wasteland. I want to get back, but WHAT do I want to get back TO?

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    9. How can anybody project honesty if a new piece of information contradicts their statements and they refuse it?! That's more what an spath does if it is not in his interest....
      Jessi

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    10. And I think the root of this dichotomy stems from whether the goal for creating the opinion is finding the truth (adept neurotypicals) or to have an opinion that is reasonable enough to be believed but also flexible enough to be maleable for personal interest (sociopaths).

      And how do we go from here? I guess you have to agree with me :D
      Jessi

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    11. I can think myself into changing pretty much any of my viewpoints. However, if there is anything I am strongly against it is artificial insemination for the simple reason that I feel that Nature tends to change to accommodate the current situation of the earth. I do not believe we are inherently superior to other animals as humans. Thus, who are we do defy what can naturally be done in those base facets of life such as procreation? As population increases homosexuality seems to become prevalent or at least more publicized, as well as other factors to prevent natural conception. I don't think the response to this should be to fight it any find other and more "futuristic" ways to procreate. Nature will only continue to fight back to prevent the world from being too populated. At the top of the food chain we need something to keep our numbers in check. Although I do not warm to kids as Anon Ymous does I think it is absurd that their are so many orphans and foster children, and that adoption is such an unrealistically difficult process, further leading people towards getting their offspring from labs. I suspect that another reason humans are drawn to artificial insemination with their own DNA involved, as opposed to adopting is so that they have the feeling that the child is really "theirs". Even empaths, from my observation, are incredibly focused on the self and are quite egocentric. If anyone's ever read "Dombey and Son", the son is not so much a wonderful miracle to selflessly love and care for, but an object, a possession, an extension of Dombey's self--his name--his bloodline and heir. This sentiment is more difficult to accomplish if the child is not of blood relation. It's not about the gift of a life or the experience of raising a child--it's about stamping one's name on something and saying "I made this. It's mine." Even if you, as a self-righteous human merely provided the ingredients, while the making was done in a lab, with Mother Nature shut outside, angrily pounding at the doors.


      Then again I can always change that view if I spend enough time debating with myself. But this opinion is probably mt staunchest.

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    12. You're a grown woman Monica. Define yourself as you see fit, and stop constantly bemoaning your trivial issues and self-imposed emotional angst. You are like a woman throwing a pity-party over the unavailability of chocolate ice-cream. Poor Monica, forever consigned to vanilla.~

      You are a poster child for "first world problems". I think it would greatly benefit you to spend a few months getting your hands dirty helping the poor in an impoverished country, instead of wallowing in self-pity and thinking of yourself *all the time*. The experience might give you a proper sense of perspective regarding your "troubles". You won't have the time or the luxury to decry your "non-existent self"- and you may actually find her in the process. Perhaps it is in "losing your life" that you will find, and learn to appreciate it.

      "For whoever will save his life shall lose it: but whoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it."

      You need to toughen up.

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    13. "Poor Monica, forever consigned to vanilla.~" ROLF
      Jessi

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    14. I know. You'd rather "help" others with your psychic astrology "ministry", in direct violation of the book you claim to believe in, than actually get your hands calloused or dirty. You couldnt even look after your own yappy dog, so you passed on the responsibility to someone else, and moaned about it afterwards. That is a pattern in your life.

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    15. Monica, I look inside myself and I cannot find my core, I need people like you to use as mirrors to see what image I project, and use that image to guess at my nature. If that is what you've lost, I think you can rekindle it, provided you can still feel. Throw yourself into situations that elicit strong emotions, especially those you fear, or that make you uncomfortable. You need only a spark to light a bonfire.

      Jessi, anyone that changes their opinion in light of new information, provided the information is accurate, has my respect and admiration.

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    16. Ouch You are nasty Alterego ^^

      Anon Ymous
      That is wonderful advice. Thank you so very much.

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    17. I'm not trying to be nasty. Put on your big girl panties. Sometimes the truth hurts.

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    18. Anon Ymous

      I think your core is who you are when you are with children.

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    19. Chet, I'm now feeling the drive to reproduce, but I have also thought about adoption. I understand people want to pass on their genetic material, but in reality the skills, knowledge, and values we impart to our children make a much greater impact on their lives. Maybe if more people held that viewpoint, they would not pursue the unnatural methods you dislike.

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    20. Then I guess what I really want is to play all day, everyday. It's too bad that will never happen.

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    21. Anon Ymous
      That playful you is your core--all that you feel when you play and love those children( and I do mean love), that is YOU.

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    22. I rarely get to be that person, which could be why I suddenly want children of my own. There's so much work ahead of me to make that a reality, though. You are right, though, I can honestly say I love kids :)

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    23. See, I mirrored some of your core :) :)

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    25. If we're so far apart that should hardly be necessary!

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    26. True
      Don't confuse me with the facts.

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    27. Jessi, you're fooling yourself to boost your ego.

      You identify yourself to the "adept neurotypical" and twist the traits you don't like so you feel good about yourself.

      Take a step back, you need some perspective.

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    28. "The fundamental cause of trouble in the world today is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt"
      Bertrand Russell

      Think about that, Jessi.

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    29. I don't like kids. They remind me to much of Monica...
      Jessi

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    30. Yeah, well...

      My opinion is bigger than yours,

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    31. Again, it is not about being sure, it is about searching for the truth with passion.
      Jessi

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    32. "Be scrupulously truthful, even if the truth is inconvenient, for it is more inconvenient when you try to conceal it." / "Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric." Bertrand Russell

      Think about that, anon
      Jessi

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    33. I'm practiced enough at lying to know which ones are too big to cover up. Thus, I mostly concoct lies of omission, and am adept at feigning ignorance if by the watchful I'm discovered.

      I have no fear of sharing eccentric opinions, because they are not so ingrained in my self that I fear their rejection. For example, I find you walk the line of wisdom, but your comments fall so far to one side or the other that it seems I'm talking to two different people of highly disparate intelligence.

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    34. They fall on different sides??
      Jessi

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    35. Man. I sure love my opinion.

      It's the best opinion in the world.

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    36. Sometimes you sound really stupid, and sometimes you don't. Wasn't my previous comment easier to swallow, or rid you try to jam it down your throat sideways?

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    37. Any of you ever had your own opinion before?

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    38. Hey anonymous want to visit my page on mygirlfund?

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    39. I didn't need an English-English translation but examples... Better this way?
      Jessi

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    40. Only if you have tits. Do you have tits?!

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    41. I think you got it now. So, the examples?
      Jessi

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    42. Who, me? I have tits and a vagina, yet am a male gay soap opera star, all while being a recluse. It's a long story but I'm sure you have a...longer "story" ha

      Delete
    43. It's where you realize that you are in fact the only human visitor on this blog, the rest are all Spambots.

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    44. Sure, Chet. Maybe you can manage to charm me out of some of my money :P

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    45. I'd hate to step on Monica's territory...
      but not really cause I want the D as in dollars

      btw yours was comment #69

      I don't believe in coincidences.

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    46. Speaking of money, do you think Monica is paid to post?

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    47. This is an important question. I also don't know how old she is...

      When it comes to people, I'm an information junkie. So, why do you need to get to New England so badly, darling?

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    48. I am in a living situation that I find repressive, pushed into something I don't want that will only elongate the waiting period for things I do want for myself. On top of that I would be paying for it all. Opposite of what I am keen on doing.

      My living situation will be significantly less expensive in New England. I will have control over my schedule, career, and general future. All I need is the money to get there. I would prefer a plane to bus, but would really just rather pay a friend the gas money so I don't have to travel that far alone.

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    49. And what brings you to sociopathworld, where nobody ends up without a reason?

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    50. I think I discovered it on accident by finding a specific article containing key words such as "empathy" or "sheep".

      Or may have been about a show I don't even remember.

      I stay for the variety of perspectives, discourse, and silly jab.

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    51. Are you actually in a soap opera, Chet?

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    52. No, as that would make me employed I think.

      If you meant that in the literal.

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    53. I'm here for entertainment, and will stay so long as I am entertained. I'm sorely disappointed that I haven't been antagonized recently, unlike when I posted comments many months ago. Maybe I've adapted well enough to fit into this hodgepodge of misfits, outcasts, victims and monsters. Let's play a little game, my kitten with a penchant for flowery logic. I'm going to insult you using pretty words, and I'd very much like it if you'd reciprocate. Google image search is a handy tool that allowed me to read all the posts that have your pretty little face next to them.

      My dearest Chet, you burgeon with such arrogance that you coaxed multiple entities from your addled noggin, that you might have extra space to store your inflated sense of self worth, though the source of inflation is nothing but gas that has passed from your ass.

      You auction your dignity for a pretty penny, but is it really meant to send you to the East coast? You admit to lying to procure cash from the sheep that might tear up at your pitiable pseudo-sob-story. Nay, the funds more likely serve to fund your true love, food, and provide fuel for flatulence. Perhaps there is enough for another personality to balloon into existence?

      I think that's enough for now, someone so young and pretty is probably not accustomed to such antagonism. If you have any hint of the balls you wish you were born with, you'll respond in kind and we'll share a laugh. The question is, how seriously do you take yourself?

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    54. My Master calls me his kitten also. Lately his speech appears on billboards and other people's bedside tables. Have you read my prose that deems shitting worse than murder? Isn't terrible that even the fairest of us commit the vile act? I say I will not change my sex, as it would be futile to plant another palm tree outside of the San Quentin. I might as well present as the erratic femme fatale my lost friends see me as. I'll never get to be a boy. I'll never be a dom. I'll never have my first love call me "Master", nor was I accepted as a surrogate mother. What good is a body, but to tell you you're dying? I shall vengefully use it to make my living.

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    55. You forgot to include any clever, eloquent insults, Chet. How in the hell is this supposed to be entertaining if he insults you and you merely prove his point?

      Oh and you both might want to look up "My Christian Psychic" on Facebook :)

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    56. I didn't notice that he specified that the insults were to be directed at him. Besides, I lack the context that my tendency to privatize my networking provided for him.

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    57. Sooo.. no entertainment then?

      And yes he did ask for you to insult him back:

      "Let's play a little game, my kitten with a penchant for flowery logic. I'm going to insult you using pretty words, and I'd very much like it if you'd reciprocate."

      Did you at least look at the FB page?

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    58. Why the fuck would I check out My Christian Psychic? I looked at it, and it's drivel.

      Chet, I've provided plenty of fodder for you to chew on and transform into an intricate tapestry of shitstains. I was going to give you money, too, if only you would humor me :( Twenty bucks but hey, it's better than nothing. Never forget that the best defense is a good offense. Nobody likes self-deprecation, which is why I won't do your job for you. I have no stomach for weakness, so show me your strength. Flex that mental muscle that I'm about to stop giving you credit for.

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    59. And now I need to know why you wanted me to look at that. Am I missing something? Time to sleep, but you'll tell me, won't you?

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    60. Drivel you say, my charming friend?
      You've just lost some major kudos with Monica. That's her.

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    61. If I knew you would get this curious, I would have kept you guessing for longer. Oh well.

      So, he who doesn't lie, what do you think about it now?

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    62. I really didn't intend to hurt you. I'm so practiced at manipulation that I'm only barely conscious of it. I wanted more information about you, so I courted Chet to make you jealous. I subsequently denounced her, enticing you to present yourself as an alternative. The moment I asked why you wanted me to check that page, I knew I had succeeded. It was only then that I became fully aware of what I had accomplished, and how. I'm afraid you're too old for me, dear, though I'm flattered you would risk revealing yourself to me. I still have a few years before I hit 30. Still want to be friends with a manipulative monster?

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    63. In that whole thing, you were very loyal.

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    64. You think you are a monster, but you are not. You play at it, but it is not you. You are the one with the children.

      Delete
    65. I suppose I could "hint at my balls" and absence of distinct identity by posting under quasi-anonymously, but splitting the word with emphasis on the chromosome I feel will allow for necessary distinction. After all, who would listen to my haughtily formal novella excerpts from such a subtly misogynistic community, and how could I filter the good at mirroring from the glass breakers without risking breaking the mirror myself in the process of a brisk walk-by check? I like to think myself airy and ethereal, if you will. I can't be down-to earth without awareness of the earth's invisible core. I suppose I could play with kids and wish it mattered no more of my wasted years against them spent phlegmatically swimming towards some off the map mirage of dry land.

      Delete
    66. Good night Anon Ymous
      Talk tomorrow
      Sleep Tight <3

      Delete
    67. wait so did you not want me to be mean in a respectful way im confused but anyone could have confused me

      Delete
    68. Umm, Anon Ymous, you've got it so very wrong.

      I am not Monica. I'm the cunt that's been following Jessi and telling her she's an arrogant moron, albeit a flexible one ;)

      I like the way you tried to play it, though. I only intended to make you jealous, you are so brave for revealing yourself to me... that was lovely. I needed that laugh today.

      Delete
    69. this is a soap opera

      is Monica still the Christian psychic?

      the suspense of it all is tickling

      Delete
    70. Chet, you're adorable. If it helps, I'm sure he'll develop an interest in you now that I've shown him Monica. Then again, you might want to brush up on your skills at insulting people. He seems to like a kitty that can scratch.




      Delete
    71. lol so that is Monica? Her name is Ami?!

      Delete
    72. For the love of... yes, Chet. Christian Psychic is Monica.
      The person who posted the link for you two, was not.
      Nor do I suspect were the other anons that posted after Anon Ymous's little declaration.
      My guess is that Extremity has joined in the fun. Then again, as they say "we are legion".

      Delete
    73. See, now that's the response I was thinking Anon Ymous would bring to the table. The dashing, manipulative monster that he is.
      Turned out even more entertaining than I hoped for.
      And yes, I agree with you, she is attractive.

      Delete
    74. My insults never got judged grrr

      I'm sure they are moot now.

      Took a while with limited information though

      I wonder why Jessi looks like
      I hope I wouldn't fuck her it'd be painful to admit

      Delete
    75. I must admit with regards to your insults to him TL:DR. I have low attention span.

      I have no idea what Jessi looks like, but she really does strike me as the type to yap all the way through. And not in any sexy way either.
      Then she would inevitably stalk you, proclaim you to be a sociopath, whinge non stop about you on here, then threaten you with exposure for not giving her the fairy tale ending. Not worth it.

      Delete
    76. yeah plus I'm supposed to be gay

      Delete
    77. Ok, I've just read some of the insults to him. Wtf was that?

      He gives you so much to work with.
      How about the fact that he is so desperately lonely because he is a pompous ass who likes the sound of his own voice too much for anyone else to bear.

      He claims to be charming without the need for flirtation, yet he has openly flirted with another woman whilst chasing Monica. All the charm of a sleezy guy in the bar who asks every girl "if I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

      He claims to be a psychopath, but doesn't lie or enjoy hurting people. Sooo.. he's either a liar or a wannabe who is desperately seeking the image of a bad boy because he clearly has no luck with women, Is (vainly) hoping this label, combined with his eloquent way of speaking, will lend him audience with the Twilight/Anne Rice fan base.

      That's the tip of the iceberg.

      Like I said, so much to work with.. go forth, Chet. Insult away.

      Delete
    78. I said most, if not all of that...
      I don't think it was meant to be terribly concrete

      Delete
    79. That's what I get for skimming it.

      No matter, now he's gotten insulted by me as well. And considering the sentiments were similar, I dare say there may be some real truth to them.

      That lucky boy, basking in the light of our attention ;)

      Delete
    80. Thanks 9:54, you've done an admirable job! Humility, false though it may be, would be a useful addition. I have an inflated sense of my own faculties, and exercising them without boasting would further enhance their effectiveness.

      A little flirtation is entertaining and entirely harmless. Have we all not had fun? Yes, I know there's been some gagging involved, but I assure you it's much less than what would have transpired in reality ;)

      I lie and manipulate others to get what I want. I no more enjoy plopping quarters into a vending machine than I do these acts, and when the candy bar falls, it's part of a mechanical process. I enjoy getting what I want, but the act of getting it is totally uninteresting.

      Thank you again, my loyal mirror. Stick around, I may need to dust you off in the future.

      Delete
    81. You are welcome, Anon Ymous :)

      I have found false humility, combined with a modicum of false sweetness, to be a surprisingly effective manipulation tool.

      I mentioned flirtation because I laughed while reading your speech the other day about how you charm without the need to resort to it. How you see into their soul and and take conversation to such an intimate level that they cannot help but throw themselves at you. Then you proceeded to flirt outrageously with at least 2 women.
      You might claim that it was for the purpose of getting Monica jealous, but I honestly think you simply didn't care. Were relieving that boredom that I know only too well.

      However, I also know how easy and fun it can be to intentionally get yourself into a very messy situation for the thrill of being able to charm your way out of it.

      Everyone like to feel that they matter, that they are not disposable. When I am playing for anything other than a quick, meaningless seduction, I scale back the flirtation around that person. It is disrespectful to throw yourself at another in front of them. And while it definitely gets the green-eyed monster out to play in them, it also raises their defenses, erodes the trust you so carefully cultivated.

      If you are looking for a rewarding relationship, not just a quick seduction game, I would recommend showing them respect by not treating them as simply another plaything.

      I must say, it admirable that you have admitted to being a manipulative liar. This is something else we share. For me, the act of charming and manipulating someone is just as you described, like putting coins in a vending machine. Most people make it too easy.

      As for sticking around, I fully intend to. I have been here for quite a while, sometimes playing the anonymous game and other times posting under my real account. I do hope you intend to stay as well. I find you fascinating.

      Delete
    82. That's good to know, but completely irrelevant to the conversation :)

      How about you tell me about any experiences you might have had with love instead? Including if/how they brought out your inner green-eyed monster. I am very curious about that today.

      Delete
    83. lol that's why I mentioned my eye color.

      Although I can be attracted to all genders, ages, and body types, I have an inclination towards gay and bisexual males who are a year or two younger than I am. For the longest time I felt emasculated and condescended to by older men and straight men. Surprisingly, my attraction has been reciprocated on numerous occasions, but anything that occurred would be kept a secret. The time in my life I had the most potent case of infatuation, when I actually felt "understood" as trite as that sounds, I had the misfortune of being in the position of the other man. Except not biologically. It sucked because this person's bf was treating them like shit, influencing them to be an indecent friend, coercing them into male prostitution, etc...and here I was knowing there thoughts just by making steady eye contact. Then I lost them as a friend for who knows why.


      Now I am in my first serious relationship with someone both older and male, but pansexual and polyamorous. I find I am possibly more jealous of them than they're other current and potential future partner(s) simply because they have the ability to form a connection and bond with an unlimited number of others. It reminds me of the difference between us and leaves me with doubt that we are truly compatible, no matter how well the relationship is going.


      In general I seem to frequently harbor the sentiment of jealousy. I just can't say what I'm jealous of. It's this flowing undercurrent of covetous resentment directed at no one, inspired by what I perceive to be nothing.

      Delete
  7. There is brain, there is body, there is soul. Without an elevated brain there is no past, no future, only now. Reading what that 'reader' is saying in today's post as s/he challenges hopes and dreams of building something as a human being towards a particular goal makes me realize one more time that there is indeed a significant value to stick to a certain level of that 'primal' in a sophisticated human being if not to protect the self from the sociopath, if not to understand the sociopath and its threat to high levels of humanity with art, science, social policies, if not to use the sociopath towards the dream as surgeons, soldiers, lawyers, fund raisers. Thinkers need to understand the sociopath to have high reaching influence and not separate themselves from the primal animal that exists within.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An evolved human has a quiet primal animal...
      Jessi

      Delete
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  11. Up From The SofaMay 2, 2013 at 4:39 PM

    It is funny about the trance. One day I was in it( I mean years) and the next, the opaque turned to gossamer, the density to mist and it lifted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Up From The SofaMay 2, 2013 at 4:48 PM

      I hate not being able to discern utter bullshit when it is clothed under niceties. When I was a child,I had lye soap stuffed down my mouth. I could not make a peep, so I learned to take things at face value.

      Delete
    2. Up From The SofaMay 2, 2013 at 4:53 PM

      I hate when women( and it is mostly women) tell you they want to help you but they really want to skewer you on a barbeque stick until you are roasted and a nice shade of red. Then, they bemoan the fact that you are cooked and not good for much of anything.

      Delete
    3. Hi Sofa
      Is there anyone in particular that you'd like to skewer?
      I presume by "skewer" you mean domesticate and/or emasculate leaving you drained, zombified and irritated?
      There are plenty of those women around.

      Delete
    4. Up From The SofaMay 3, 2013 at 1:02 PM

      Yes, there is someone I want to skewer on here, who keeps insulting me and my writing

      Delete
  12. Hi, I read the author's article posted in the June 2013 Psychology Today. I am a therapist, and was chatting with colleagues about the value of having a support place for sociopaths to discuss their issues, and encourage one another.

    There is a common attitude among therapists that sociopaths would never present for therapy on their own. I would welcome your comments about this, if anyone has an opinion about it.

    The fact is, I am an EMDR therapist, and we find that most personality disorders result from early trauma or neglect that is unresolved. There are many EMDR approaches that can help with this. I am curious to know if any of you have tried an Early Trauma approach to recovering from sociopathic issues.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What is EMDR therapy?

      Delete
    2. This page has some information on it, Alterego:

      http://www.emdr.com/general-information/what-is-emdr.html

      Delete
    3. "There is a common attitude among therapists that sociopaths would never present for therapy on their own. I would welcome your comments about this, if anyone has an opinion about it."

      Due to the them verses us mentality, and the fact that many sociopaths feel like they are above empaths I think there are many who would not present for therapy on their own. Also, there can be huge "retributions" for being outed as a sociopath, which makes it all the less enticing to seek therapy. Plus therapists seem to want to "fix" sociopaths, and not all sociopaths need to be fixed. To offer to fix someone means that the one doing the fixing is already fixed. This spells challenge rather than opportunity, when opportunity is the intended message. And, for one who has spent their entire life trying to conceal what they are it doesn't seem to make sense to stroll into and office and have someone try to analyze you.

      However, many sociopaths want to understand what it means to be normal, and have the chance to discuss things with "normal" people. Many would like to be able to "come out of the closet". It can be frustrating, and to a degree maddening, to live in a society that doesn't accept you.

      I don't know if I would attend a support place for sociopaths. But, I do think there are sociopaths that would attend. Also, I think it would be a good idea to form groups of sociopaths as well as groups of sociopaths and empaths. Empaths who will not shut down when encountering a sociopath. But the biggest point of the sessions would have to be initially riding people of the them verses us mentality. I have little interest in going to a session to listen to why I do not qualify as human. I've heard it all before: no emotion, not predictable, destructive impulses, mind games, generally unnerving to those with emotions, etc. However, going to attend a session where I can talk to those with emotion, or without, about things going on in my head, in my world, and hear the thoughts of others on their world, and I could see myself appreciating that. The problem is that sociopaths generally make empaths so uncomfortable that the empaths shut down. I think a support place could work, but I suggest that you find a sociopath to help create it. Or I think you will end up trying to preform the equivalent of describing a rainbow to a blind person.

      I would like to say that while the general impulses or "nature" of the sociopath is largely similar the resulting person can be incredibly different.

      Dana please answer me this, why do you care? You became an EMDR therapist for a reason, yes? But, why are you interested in setting up support groups for sociopaths? Please understand that I am not trying to lessen your act, but, when you live in a world that portrays sociopaths as monsters you tend to be interested in why someone who is not one of you would want to help? Ether way, thank you for your concern. It is appreciated and respected.
      L

      Delete
  13. Very interesting... Adept... Jessi... B.A.M.

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  18. jesus, every time i read an article by one of you bloodless cunts, i am newly surprised at how pathetic you are..haha...seriously? things i can learn from a pyschopath? that will be the day...if you are so fucking almighty, why do you mimic us? why don't you just go around as the fucked up zombies you know you are? mmmmm...maybe it is because you know you will be alone, as you deserve to be, so you have to fake being one of us...and the only ones you can truly dupe are the broken or the super kind? jesus h christ..it is easy to break a baby bird...you are not tough, you are not above us..if you were, you wouldn't spend your lives trying to either Be us or Destroy us...we heal.. you are always just a batch of empty shit..and you know it..hahaha...nothing is more amusing than a loser psychopath...xx

    ReplyDelete

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