Wednesday, May 1, 2013
What you can learn from sociopaths (part 1)
Early on in my life I could spot sociopaths but I didn't know how to qualify them. There was some discomfort on their parts that I was on to them but they let me fool myself. They figured out my interpretation of their behavior and then allowed me to think what I wanted to think.
One can spot the sociopath by their strange lack of vulnerability, the absence of committal statements and their propensity to linger in a group long enough to politic. These qualities all in one person seemed like a contradiction to me. It's a contradiction because non-committers show some anxiety and sociopaths do not. Lingerers are become increasingly committal as the increased time with the group increases their comfort but sociopaths do not commit even when they are supposed to be comfortable.
I don't consider myself a sociopath but I can appreciate and empathize with their realistic approach to life. You see I grew up with the exact opposite. My parent is a narcissist. It didn't take long for me to learn that as long as the narcissist is receiving his narcissistic supply he will delude himself. Sound familiar? The neurotypical, as long as he is receiving societal approval and validation will delude himself as well. The average person is a narcissist-lite.
The realistic aspect of the sociopath is that he understands human nature and coldly uses it to his advantage. The practical part of the sociopath is that he casts the widest possible social net to influence the greatest number of people - all the while preventing opposition-opposition which would undermine all his hard work. The authentic part of the sociopath is that he knows what he wants and isn't afraid to get it. The only difference is the sociopaths authenticity is that it is harmful for him to divulge it.
The sociopaths authenticity is an impediment when revealed. The sociopath creates rapport without ever divulging his/her "authenticity." Divulging this authenticity is social suicide for the sociopath since society does not accept people that lack empathy and refuse to play by the "rules." From my observation, however, the sociopath is more authentic a being than both the narcissist and the average neurotypical person. At least the sociopath is in touch with who he is. He is someone that knows what he wants and will do whatever it takes to get it. He is strongly in touch with his desires of the moment. He is not afraid to acknowledge them and is not afraid to risk failure in order to obtain them.