Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Book responses (part 2)


From a reader:

I just finished reading your book and I wanted to say that I found it utterly fascinating. I am not a sociopath but I definitely displayed antisocial traits as a child. Perhaps if my childhood had been different I would have ended up different. I enjoyed reading your points of view on nature and nurture for antisocial children. But more than anything I appreciate the perspective you brought on the issue of sociopaths in society.  Before reading your book I never truly recognized  the unfair bias and often outright double standards (I have multiple aspies in my family) society places upon sociopaths. Being a member of the gay community I am well aware that it was not so long ago that I would have been considered a "monster" or "deviant". Maybe one day more people will see that there are good, highly functioning sociopaths out there just like there are violent and dangerous ones--as is the case for any variant of humans. 

I remember I took a psychology class in college, just for the hell of it, and on a test we were asked to write several paragraphs about what we believed to be the worst of the personality disorders. I thought it was silly because there is no unbendable mold for psychological disorders; they can be good, bad, or both. Most people in my class wrote that sociopaths were the worst kinds of people and I wrote that if I had to choose, I would list BPD as the worst. My teacher actually pulled me aside and asked me to further explain why I felt that way. I guess many others listed socios because of the link to violence and people with BPD are not typically known to be violent. The only reason I had was personal experience; I've known several sociopaths and remain friends with some of them, but everyone I've known that had BPD was just awful. Awful in a sense of massively annoying and using extreme emotions to manipulate--often resulting in hysterics and acts of self-harm. All of which I found extremely time-consuming and obnoxious. I'm sure there are BPDs out there that aren't bad--I just haven't met any yet. 

I've never talked at length with my socio friends about how they think or process things--I just know they are different and leave it at that. Thank you for providing insight I might otherwise have never been exposed to.

63 comments:

  1. A Narcissist is a sociopath. Having Borderline Personality Disorder makes one a sociopath. Those with Schizophrenia or Bipolar moods have organic reasons they're sociopaths. One with ASPD is a psychopath and a sociopath. I know people want to be politically correct and forge a distinction between psychopaths and sociopaths, but they're the same. What actions sociopaths do determines what box a psychological inventory says their actions fit in, but they're all capable of the same madness. People with the D/Os other than ASPD define the term sociopath narrowly so they can try rationalize their behavior fits in some other box, and think they're not all that messed up. People with personality disorders are all that messed up, and under the broad definition the term means, those people are all sociopaths. That's something it takes more that sticking your nose in Psychology 101 in college to conceptualize though, I guess.

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  2. People get so stupid talking about Sociopathy sometimes. We need to understand them better blah blah. There is such a double standard. This is idiocy. Don't get me wrong, they can make for a very good time if properly handled, and they can be insightful as long as you keep it all in context, but the reason they are vilified and feared is because they are usually destructive and sadistic. They are not honest people. They shape truth for ends. They cannot help but to deconstruct and to play with people like objects because that is all others are to them.

    There is no double standard. Sociopaths are often quite dangerous. Open a fucking psychology book one day. This has actually been studied and a few have written about it. A person with aspergers or even various cluster b pers types are not in the same universe of dangerous as sociopaths. Asperger people do have empathy, they are extremely empathic.. they just have trouble reading people and social cues. People are also often just not very interesting to aspies, though they can love and care and be loyal to people based on caring love as deep or deeper than anyone. And they often have a very strong "conscience". Sociopaths are the exact opposite of all this. Of course aspies as well as anyone can be insensitive assholes, and can probably do that better than anyone lol. But they do not operate day to day moment to moment as a kind of shapeshifing, lying, deceitful and potential life robbers. No offense intended.

    M.E., you came off weird in the dr phil interview. You did not appear to be sociopathic, the way much of your writing here looks. You seemed inarticulate, uneasy, like a goofy narcissist. You were "microexpressing" big time. I didn't see all of it but it almost looked like phil was feeling sorry for you. Was this all intentional lol? I don't get it. I have to hand it to you though, you are a bad ass rock and roller. It's been said you have a nice ass. Any chance we can discuss that lol?

    Anyways, good luck with everything and congrats on the book.

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    1. Actually, it looked like to me that you were a little nervous and had some fear issues going on underneath. And like you were monitoring how you were coming off on some level. But sociopaths are said to be generally fearless right? Perhaps this was the face you had on for your reasons. Would have been nice to have seen you discuss sociopathy with him with your usual blog persona.

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    2. You seem intelligent enough, I wonder if I can modify your perspective?

      I'm certainly all sorts of messed up, with traits from sociopathy, narcissistic personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder. However, I haven't been diagnosed with anything, because whatever 'disorder' I may have is well-controlled.

      A very high proportion of the prison population are sociopaths, psychopaths, have ASPD, or whatever you want to call it. This population, the convicted criminals, is the one that is studied by psychologists and written about. There are two questions I'd like you to consider.

      1. Is sociopathy completely inseparable from criminality?

      2. If they are separable, is it possible there is a population of sociopaths that are not criminals?

      I'll answer them for you! Going by recent statistics (2011), 0.7% of the United States population was in prison. About 50% of them would receive a diagnosis of psychopath/sociopath. That means 0.35% of the U.S. population are incarcerated sociopaths. This population is the sole point of study for psychologists, and the topic of any books they may write.

      Large scale surveys show that 4% of the population would be diagnosed as sociopaths, if everyone were evaluated by current testing methods. That means that the sample of criminals studied represents less than 1/10 of sociopaths that are out there. This is an example of sampling bias, in which the population studied is likely not representative of the population as a whole.

      M.E. probably has something similar in her book, but I haven't had a chance to pick it up yet. I'd be happy to discuss the issue further if you have more points to bring up :)

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    3. Good point Andy. It takes a fool to assume all socios/psychos are actively evil. Granted the majority of people are fucking idiots, if we all spent all of our time fucking with people and playing the game then the government would have announced "The War on Sociopathy" a long time ago. They wouldn't do anything about it, but it would get a bunch of money thrown at it and an awareness campaign. The problem is every piece of shit who can't compromise and make a relationship work wants to call the ex a sociopath and absolve themselves of failure, and say fuck whoever else is harmed by their foolishness as long as they don't have to face the facts. We may not share the truth with them, but we see a lot more of the truth than they do and that is what worries them.

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    4. But the diagnosis of S/P/ASPD and the criteria used to make that diagnosis does read off like evil.

      Look it up and read it. At least it does to anyone with a conscience and empathy. It reads like Satan's manifesto.

      War on Sociopathy? It's called prison and the electric chair. The innuit would just drown them. The thing is, the higher functioning ones commit "crimes" of psyche and deceit. And are usually excellent players of the legal system. There is much they can do to destroy someone and not get arrested.

      Yes, some people do blame every "bad" relationship on a sociopath and refuse to look at their own part. It's easy to just blame someone. But there also sociopaths who use deceit and manipulation and the effect is destruction.

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    5. Ups, what do you mean, quasi Andy? All bad boys are the ones in prison and outside are the good ones? What a relief. So you mean that people like M.E. who was also, according her, diagnosed, are not taken into account by psychologists? It is surprising that they come with a 4% in population considering they are unable to see anything besides jailbirds.

      Hard to track down evil, is still evil. And hard to track down doesn't mean bright fugitive. Try to track down a needle in a haystack.

      Well-controlled means not actionable, hard to track, or non-existent?

      Jessi

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    6. Consider for a moment that through a combination of nature and nurture, a mature individual ends up on a spectrum of self-interest. At one end, you have the diabolically evil sociopath, whose only care in the world is to get what he wants, and enjoys hurting people to get it. This is the extreme of selfishness.

      On the other end of the spectrum is the ultimate altruist. He sacrifices all personal comfort and security in order to help others. Most people fall in the middle, being selfish to ensure their own comfort and security, and often donating time, energy, and resources to help those in need.

      Let's say a lack of empathy drives the sociopath, and an abundance of empathy drives the altruist. Disorders, such as BPD in empaths and criminality in sociopaths result from an inability to find balance. I assert that the nature of empathy does not drive all empaths to BPD, just as the nature of sociopathy does not drive all sociopaths to be criminals, or unrepentant destroyers of lives.

      Some people with absence or excess of traits can find balance. M.E. has found balance, and so have I. We edge toward the middle of the spectrum, despite our natural inclination to fall into the pit of evil.

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    7. You have a valid point aspie. My point is simply that if all of us were really and truly evil, we would be hunted down like animals. The criminal justice system in this country is a passive measure. It only springs into action after the damage is done. That and more crimes are committed every day by NTs than socios. They just have a more socially acceptable excuse for their bullshit than we do. If an NT does the crime, it can be blamed on excess passion or extreme emotional disturbance or some other crap and everyone agrees that person just needs help. If a socio commits a crime it's just because they are evil.

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    8. IMO only the stupid psychopaths end up in jail. The ones I have known were way too clever for that. Their crimes were generally fiscal - with a trail impossible to pin down - and the best lawyers on speed dial.

      There's some kind of campaign underway at the moment to make psychopathy 'cuddly'. Believe me these guys are about as cuddly as a rattlesnake.

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  3. When I say dangerous, I'm not referring to rape, murder or bank robbery. Although all of that of course sucks, especially in my opinion when done for the lols. I'm not even talking about crime in the mostly legal sense. I'm talking about how they often act to access a persons psychological makeup, and use lies etc, lots of lies, "control techniques", whatever it takes, a persona, to exploit the persons "issues", often with the intent of manipulating them for an ends that usually does not have the persons interest at heart. And that can end disastrously for the "victim". To put it gently.
    They are dangerous because they can fool you into thinking they are one way and have a certain intention when they are actually not that way at all. A crocodile is potentially dangerous, we know that, we maintain distance and awareness of their proximity. But a crocodile that does not appear to be a crocodile is a very dangerous thing.

    I'm glad you have it well controlled. I respect that. I think anyone who is able to control their impulses, which is no easy task even when they are self destructive, deserves props. And if I'm wrong about all this, that sociopaths or whatever you want to call it can be very high functioning in this manner then I apologize and stand corrected. But they are also known as liars, and known to use pity to garner sympathy which is then exploited. This high functioning, we are misunderstood and are not all "criminal" all sounds like a pity play right? From this perspective? Sociopaths are called "people of the lie". For any thinking person, that will always be the fact that we must consider. How can anything they say be believed? There is too much at stake to be fooled.

    I haven't read the book either. Seems to be getting mixed reviews. I might check it out.

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    1. Whoops, meant to post that under your post above Andy Glass. This blogs wack ass thread reply system strikes again.

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    2. If there was a like button, I would click like on your last post aspie. Well said.

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    3. Hear hear Aspie. A psychopath I knew admitted to me he was trying to drive his ex (and mother of his children) to suicide. That's murder. His gift, if you can call it that, was being able to pass himself off as a decent guy.

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    4. Aspie - I love the line "But a crocodile that does not appear to be a crocodile is a very dangerous thing". You could not have said it any better. I was taken in by a very kind, caring, considerate man that worked on me for MONTHS! The whole time eeking his way into my life with his tales of woe and how he wanted to be happier and have an enjoyable life. Being so helpful and understanding until I started to care and rely on him and then he dropped the mask.
      Looking at it now - I totally see all of the tricks and lies and how he ferreted information out of me that he would later turn around and use to hurt me. And why did he do this? Because he could. Because it was all fun and games to him.
      I could see it if it was a survival of the fittest thing, like a lion hunting an antelope for food - but a sociopath's gaming is NOT for his/her survival, it is all for fun. That is the danger - to hurt or harm another just because you can. Animals don't even do that.

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    5. "Animals don't even do that."
      You never saw a cat play with a mouse after they caught it?
      The cat has hours of fun until the mouse just up and dies of pain and fear. Then the cat walks off without eating the mouse because it was never hungry in the first place. It just caught the mouse because some inner drive made it more fun than leaving the mouse alone to live its little mousey life in peace.

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    6. "but a sociopath's gaming is NOT for his/her survival"

      It is arguable that the psycho's gaming IS for survival. They are in a bottomless black pit and this is their way of relieving the boredom.

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    7. I have seen a cat play with a mouse - but the cat presents as a cat. It does not disguise itself as a mouse to lure the mouse into believing that it is his buddy, his friend, his pal or his lover and that it is safe.

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  4. Evaluating a personality disorder based on our approval or distaste for individual traits treads too close to the line of scapegoating and moral judgment. I say that it's best to look at the pattern of actions and consequences rather than make value judgements about a person's goodness or badness.

    I will agree that BPD's are far more destructive than most sociopaths because they are completely emotion driven. Sociopaths are not as likely to be set off to act destructively by tiny external events. That reactivity is what makes the BPD most destructive on a practical level.

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    1. I disagree. If the individual traits are each sort of evil sounding, and collectively are, then it makes sense to have a judgemental bias and fear against people that have this diagnosis. Of course we don't have access to everyones psyche records in advance and many people aren't diagnosed. So I think you have to look at the persons actions of course because that is all you have to go by. Though in truth, most people are fascinated by sociopaths and tend to "fall prey" to their deft abilities to charm them and make them feel good. I also think that sociopaths can be very hair trigger sometimes.

      BPDs can be very destructive, but there is usually not the deceit behind it. They are emotionally unstable. You can see them coming, though you may underestimate what they are willing to do. High functioning ones are usually very self aware, very intelligent and are able to exhibit some control in my experience.

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    2. It is always better to look at the intentions. That's where you see the badness or the goodness. Actions and consequences are just the most reliable way up to this day to evaluate the intentions.

      BPD's are easier to spot so we can better protect ourselves if we choose to.

      Jessi

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    3. I don’t like the word evil. It comes with too much historical, theological and emotional baggage. Evil too easily becomes an epitaph used to ‘otherize’ another human being. Labels do not necessarily equal understanding.

      Actions and consequences are just the most reliable way up to this day to evaluate the intentions.

      Jessi, I actually agree with this sentence, if we broaden the definition of intention to mean those states of the brain which lead to actions society deems antithetical to its interests. Otherwise, without each of us being able to map other people’s brain states with precision accuracy, the most important thing to look for isn’t intention but behavior. True intent, all by itself, is invisible to everyone on the outside of the person we’re examining and is often invisible to the person him/herself.

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    4. I disagree. Evil is a very useful word. Let's call a spade a spade. All of us recognize evil on some level when we encounter it. That the word evil has come back to general usage allows us to acknowledge it, instead of being in denial and therefore more easily preyed upon.

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    5. Useful in what way? Calling someone evil says more about you than it does the person you are judging. It suggests that you are inflexible in your thinking. It suggests that you lack imagination. It suggests that you are thoroughly conventional in your outlook. It reveals that you do not understand the difference between labeling and understanding.

      Evil tells you nothing about the brain that produced the behavior you wish to stigmatize.

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    6. I've already explained how the word Evil is useful - it allows us recognize and classify certain behavior, where otherwise we might remain in denial.

      Psychopaths trade on ambiguity. They like nothing more than to dissect the meaning of words and distract us from what's really going on. Being judgmental is essential in such circumstances. If you have a tape worm, it's vital that you can identify (ie, label & judge) exactly what's eating away inside. Of course, it's in the psychopath's (or tape worm's) interests that he go undetected.

      Attempting to undermine a person - with your own judgemental labels haha, inflexible, lack imagination, conventional blah blah - is exactly the kind of maneuver the psychopath pulls in an attempt to sew the seeds of doubt in the mind of the naïf. Nice try.

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    7. The only people who need to worry about understanding the brains of psychopaths are medics and family members. The rest of us need only become adept at spotting them and moving swiftly on.

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    8. I keep forgetting, most of you have no interest in understanding what’s actually going on around you. Your only goal is to simply reinforce the walls of your self imposed intellectual prisons. No questioning. No curiosity. No conceptual examination. No push for better and better explanations. Very typical. Maybe it’s not self imposed. Maybe it’s simply the limit of your intellect. The only way to find out is to question what you believe, what you hold sacred; kill your darlings.

      Or not. To quote one of my favorite TV characters, "Dear God, what is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring!"

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    9. Most healthy people have a limited interest in the minutiae of disability. No doubt those afflicted would like the rest of us to share their fascination - but for the majority, we hear 'brain damage' 'stunted amygdala' and think quelle dommage, what's for dinner.

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    10. Why try to convince people that evil is a meaningless and subjective term? That's akin to going into your shed to try and convince your tools to become dull. People that see things in black and white are the easiest to manipulate. Just point them in the direction of your target, convince them he's evil, and let them do the work!

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    11. That people are here reading and commenting suggests they are curious/interested to some extent. The problem is, the discussion goes around in circles because there's no cure for psychopathy. There's really nothing new to say.

      The psychopath can spin to his/her heart's content about how special it makes them, but we all know that's testament to human resilience. For the foreseeable furture, they have no choice but to live with it. What else is there to understand?

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    12. It is possible that someone you consider evil is genuinely trying to help you. There's no cure for old age, the most deadly and debilitating of diseases, so what could the old possibly know? Are you here looking to understand the perspective of someone who thinks differently from you? I am. By really engaging with someone who has a radically different mind, you expose yourself to a perspective that could lead to introspection and improvement. If instead you label a person evil and devalue everything they say, you miss an opportunity to grow. Daniel gets frustrated because it's so clear to him that he cannot fathom that everyone else doesn't arrive at the same conclusion.

      If you're not here to learn and grow, then you're looking only to set yourself against a perceived enemy and win. The victory is empty, though because you've gained only undeserved self-satisfaction. And Daniel's not even a sociopath!

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    13. Why do you say he is not a sociopath?

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    14. Birdick, Andy, forget about the labels, if you don't like evil choose another one, it is not important, it is just about to place a word for those who chose to use and abuse others to understand each other. It is not about stigmatizing or looking for their empathy, guilt, or whatsoever. Using and abusing are the actions we are figthting against, not the individuals.

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    16. nicely stated, Jessi.


      While I do believe in evil (malevolence) it's rare. Certainly 4-10% of the population is not evil. Depending on the statistics you look at, these are the numbers for the sociopathic personality structure.

      I think a lot of behavior that looks evil comes from people who are tired of the world asking them to manifest emotional responses that their brain structure doesn't support. They are faced with a double bind when they know that their felt emotion doesn't match what an empath might feel. It's not that they don't care (well, not always anyway)- it's more about lacking a frame of reference. So they are forced to act phony to escape negative consequences from the emotion police, or they face being shamed. When this dynamic exists a person's entire life, you can bet they are legitimately pissed off.

      Frustration leaks into "acting out" that looks like evil (not minimizing the seriousness of the actions, just trying to explain that sometimes destructive acts are more about a lack of constructive options for expressing the wellspring of repressed anger these individuals feel when sentimental fools/ drama queens declare that "feelings" are the only right motivators for actions.

      The logical fallacy present is that feelings are mistaken for moral imperatives. By that logic, why isn't it also moral for a sociopath to express that bottled up rage by exterminating the source of self righteous emoting?

      So that's why talking about destructive acts as evil without going back to first rule out other causes for acting out like frustration/ cognitive dissonance/ truth seeking is really sloppy thinking. The actions to remedy those other motivations may be something outside the realm of morality/spirituality entirely. It may mean allowing the sociopath more freedom to determine the environment they function best in.

      The problem of nonconformity that is solved by self righteous crusading becomes a problem of evil, not because the sociopath is inherently evil, but because to survive the forces that want to annihilate his dissenting voice, he must fight fire with fire by doing increasingly nasty things. I am not sure that anyone is born evil, even if they are born with a textbook sociopathic brain. The interaction with a nonsupportive environment makes them evil so they can maintain a sense of personal integrity within a world that is populated by sentiment driven despots.

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  5. I hope my book comes today. It is rainy and I will make a good cup of tea and probably finish it, today :D

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  6. Well I hope M.E. knows what she got into and the balance will be positive at the end of the road, I have my doubts.

    Her Dr. Phil appearance was without any doubt good for the publicity of her book, but her performance was bad (I guess she can see that for herself).

    Her body language was 'unsure', so was some of her commenting, it was a poor performance. My guess is she is a true sociopath, but when talking about your sociopathy you can never talk freely. If M.E. is a true sociopath she knows one always has to stand on the break while talking about his or her inner feelings/lack of feelings. People would be too disgusted and one would also compromise oneself legally.

    I guess the dr. Phil performance was the inner narcissist who won over the rational sociopath, unless she was sure in advance she made a really good deal there, which I doubt.

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  7. The Dr Phil performance.. Does M.E. expect to live off this book-gig for ever? Maybe she will, but it seems like such a risk. I wonder of she was really that succesful in the legal field. I doubt she can ever go back. Firms scan the traces of applicants like a m*therf*cker. I hope she'll get a nice franchise ot of this and a Hollywood adaptation with Reese Witherspoon as leading lady. You know, cuz she also has a cute chin. I'm just do confused such a seemingly intelligent person would opt for a hideous synthetic wig on national tv...

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    1. As one example, Terri Cheney seems to be the former-attorney/BPD spokesperson. She wrote Manic: A Memoir (not bad, btw). Cheney also seems to have narcissistic tendencies. She was trotted out as the talking head on all the news channels when Britney melted down a few years ago. Not sure what type of living she makes these days, although I'm pretty sure she no longer practices law. So M.E. will be a spokesperson and put a "face" on sociopathy? She needs to officially come out first before that can happen. I don't think the news channels want an overly made-up pundit in a synthetic blonde wig. But then what do I know?

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    2. In comment 12:10 PM above, I meant Bipolar Disorder and I erroneously put down "BPD". But Borderline Personality Disorder might apply to Cheney as well? (maybe she's just too chicken to come out as a BPD?).

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    3. there is crosssover. If anyone read this ny times magazine article with the woman who has bipolar disorder you see someone struggle to find a lost self.

      here's a link to the article:

      http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/28/magazine/the-problem-with-how-we-treat-bipolar-disorder.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

      Do any of this sound like borderline personality Disorder? This woman had/has a lost identity.

      Do any borderlines here relate?

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  8. next up oprah's book list?
    (and an interview ofc)

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  9. Or you can get it here...
    http://unblockedpiratebay.com/index.php?loadurl=/torrent/8489105/Confessions_of_a_Sociopath_-_A_Life_Spent_Hiding_in_Plain_Sight_#.UZzpfLXUlrJ#filelistContainer

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    1. Ha! Ain't that rich??? It is already available as a free torrent? Haven't read the book but I find it funny, as someone here mentioned she specialized in trademark law, etc

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    2. Stealing from a sociopath? Why, that's downright despicable!

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    3. I never heard of this free download thing but I would not use it anyway because it is wrong to deny the author the money they have earned from something as tedious and time consuming as writing a book.

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    4. That's sweet. You think majority of the people here actually care about what's wrong and right?

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    5. Oh sweet a free download.

      Anyone seen the Dr.Phil interview yet?
      Is it available online?

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    6. http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/3970914-monika

      You're bigger than i imagined you to be, Monica

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    7. That is not me. I am waiting for my book. I was so disappointed it did not come today but tomorrow and then I will write an Amazon review!

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  10. As for the M.E.'s appearance on telly, I don't know what the hell was she thinking. To me it looks simply ridiculous. I just can't imagine that someone who knows her wouldn't recognize her. I mean - you see her face and hear her voice (if it weren't an actress, although I highly doubt about that), no way some wig would hide it.
    Many say that it was brave, I think it's cowardly. If I want to come out as a sociopath, then I want everyone on the street to know and recognize my face. And if I'm scared... then I don't freaking go to television where everyone I know can see my confession.
    I don't think it will help to sell her book anyway, since the doctor made it look like she's some sociopath wannabe and I bet many people believed that, for it is not that uncommon, surprisingly.

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    1. I'm not going to post any links or anything but some people believe they know who she is based on all the info she provided and the way she looked on the show and posted links to her picture and resume etc. Some speculate that this was what she intended and have offered various theories why. I think some people do feel that she is just a narcissist wannabe sociopath weirdo, an attention fiend par excellence, after the appearance as evidenced by many of the latest reviews on amazon, but I don't know, she does seem sociopathic in her writings here and not a twit. Kind of odd.

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  11. So, M.E. Thomas is *________________* Professor of Law at *______________* in T. Why the hell would she give up her anonymity? Also, why didn't she send a decoy to Dr. Phil and have a telephone voice-over? God, she's so dumb!

    I did the *___________* purposely, because I don't want to out my little sociopath blog-author who I love so much. I don't know if I'm a sociopath myself, but definitely a deviant. I just want to thank her for writing the book (despite the stupidity of coming out from anonymity), because it has given me the courage to embrace myself good and bad (especially the bad and be smart about it).

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    1. Narcissists are dumb. That's why she couldn't wait to out herself as a sociopath. :D

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  12. "I lie to myself, but at least I try to figure out why and learn the truth."

    whenever i point out to a` man they lie to thmself they like me better.. why is that? why do they find a woman more attractive when she tell him himself?

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  13. I just finished your book, and I thought it was really interesting. I consider myself a sociopath, and I did find that I related to some of things you wrote about. For instance, when rage gets to me I also go extremely coldhearted and even more calm than usual. I won't lie there have been times where the only thing from me seriously hurting someone (or worse) was the thought that I would probably get caught and go to jail, and I really don't want to do that if it can be helped. There is also the ability to cut people off completely from myself even sometimes family. I never understood how people find that so difficult; one of my relatives did something I felt was unforgivable, and I made the remark to another family member that I wasn't going to associate with that person ever again, and they responded, "Oh, how can you say something like that; their family after all." I just couldn't help but think what the heck difference does that make if their related to me or not. Sometimes it is really difficult for me to completely mask how I actually feel on certain situations. Death is the biggest giveaway most of the time for people to see my lack of emotion, but there have been times where I have been able to pass it off. Like when my grandfather died I was the only one who could help my grandmother go through all the "difficult" things like the cremation and pouring the ashes; she commented "Your such a strong person able to do all this with me, and I am glad that I can count on you in this troubling time," or something like that. I have had the fortunate experience of one sociopathic teacher before. I almost instantly knew he was like me and actually smarter than me, and I could learn a few things from him. Of course I took this opportunity and hung around the teacher whenever I could, and I think he knew that we are similar in our thoughts and viewpoints. He was one of those teachers empaths loved to hate, but I thought he was brilliant. We talked about all sorts of things not only just school related things; we would talk on lengths about the inner working political structure of college teachers, and how the world works. How to get the things in life; it was great. It was a very mutual relationship I thought because I recognized that I wanted to learn from him, and I think he wanted someone to teach someone who was like him. It was the one person I could feel comfortable without a mask. Our conversations would start off with me entering his office with a rant about some teacher I thought was incompetent, "I cannot believe what this teacher just said to me about you," He would pick up on it, and there would be a glint in his eye about wanting the information, and I would tell him because I liked his reactions. His response would be, "That doesn't surprise me; look at that teacher's major, english, what a joke. What could they possibly know." He had such a role in the school that the other teachers would come to him for advice, and it wouldn't be to long after that the teacher who talked bad about him was shunned for a while. Anyway, in the instance of sounding somewhat sappy, I am glad you made your blog and book because it is good to see that my viewpoint and personality are not only with me, but that other people do feel like I do.

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  14. "look at that teacher's major, english, what a joke."

    Eyeroll. What was his major, criminology?

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  15. No, his major was Physics.

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  16. I think think the distinction between BPD and sociopathy is largely based on gender bias. Most people diagnosed with BPD are women and in fact display behaviour that would be considered sociopathic in males. Whether or not they are manipulative, lack empathy and lie readily because they are sociopathic or because they are BDP is irrelevant. It is in fact their effect on other people that causes the problems. You can the be emotionally cold. lack empathy and all the rest. But if you are open about this and do not inflict it on other people then you are simply an odd person not a sociopath.

    A lot of BPD and Sociopathic behavior is the result of childhood trauma and is based in self preservation. A lot of them have abandonment fears, but they resolve this by victimisation. They are very hard to treat because they lie. A therapist might think the Cognitive therapy is working but the patient has in fact set up an escape route and may have only gone to therapy to look like they are trying in first place. In other words people with these traits usually think everyone else is the problem.

    I was married to a women who had a lot of childhood problems and who exhibited a lot BPD and sociopathic traits. I went to endless counseling session, through years of therapy and was encouraged to modify my behaviour to help with her fears and unreasonable behaviour. I t did not work. I left, got our son out of the situation and didn't look back. She was not evil, she had problems, but the truth is that doesn't matter. The effect was the same.

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