A lot of people ask me, how can I confront a sociopath? There are a lot of ways, but you should also be aware of what the sociopath feels when confronted, basically confused and unaffected or very, very angry. Here's how one reader described it in a comment:
When people yell at me, I am confused first and foremost. Bursts of strong emotion take me completely by surprise, and it takes a second or two for me to regain my wits. After that brief moment, my brain immediately kicks into high gear to analyze the situation: Why are they yelling? What are they saying? Have I done something deliberately to harm them recently or ever? Have I done something they could indirectly assume as harming them?
When someone calls me out, manages to look past my charming and pleasant mask and react negatively, it puts me into a very cruel and cold state of mind. It constitutes a threat of the highest order, a threat to my carefully maintained persona, and I treat it as such.
If I decide it is my best interest to passively accept whatever retribution/apology they demand, I do so with the utmost affected sincerity. If I can ignore it, I do, and their subsequent nagging is a mere minor irritation. In the rare occasion that continued contact/antagonizing on their part could compromise my peace, I strike back. I use everything I've learned about their insecurities, their weaknesses, their fears, and I break them. I hurt them so deeply and thoroughly that they are either frightened away entirely or too cowed to ever attack me again. I take great, great pleasure in doing so--oftentimes, to preserve my peaceful existence in the public eye, I have to hold back. It feels good to break others. Very good.
1st
ReplyDeleteThe closest I have ever been to guilt is a sudden hot shock of anger and annoyance at the effort for managing of the situation. When my misdeeds come out I frantically adjust my social calculations, doing pretty much what was described above. Sometimes anger is a useful response, people are surprisingly easy to convince that it's their fault.
ReplyDeleteTiss true that S's are a breed apart.For we do not posses the ability to feel 'the juice of life',that normal empaths are giftd with.We think we are at an advantage for the very thing that empaths feel that they have an advantage.But actually they just 'are'.We are the ones that have to study them ,,and imitate.Sure we are at a mental advantage most of the time,,but from what I have observed,I would like to have that simple thing,,that is mine,,and not persue it in others....for it never to be mine.I look at simpleton empaths and even they have it.And me,,with my mental capacity and enormous cock,,sorry I meant intellect,,can only look on,,like a eunuch..of sorts...and want to crush them...if they confront and threaten me.Yes, our hardwiring is different,but when I hunt, it is not for another S.They have nothing for me,,it is for the juicy empath that makes my mouth water and my body temerature rise.For it is only 'they' that engage me so completely,,not all., just a select few.It has NEVER been another S or BL or A or N.It is what it is.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you are a sociopath; as I find your post
Deletesomewhat envious of empaths. Whatever, you feel - your post gave us enormous insight into your realm.
Bravo!!!!
Thanks, for saying positive attributes of empaths; as
Deletewe hear very little in here.
Wow that is exactly what happened to me when I struck back at a sociopath. He was insulting me and I unleashed on him and I mean unleashed. Well, he insulted every ancestor, every weakness he ever knew and every painful experience I ever shared about my past. He had red hot heat(and all this was in public) and then he went totally cold.
ReplyDelete^Did you every "win" in ANY battle with him?
DeleteThis was the first time I lost my cool with him--ever. I did lose my cool consciously though. I realized that I could not allow him to insult me without fighting back.If I did allow him to insult me with no repurcussions, I would have been allowing him to step on my head and it would have been a pivotal shift in our relationship. I knew that I could not allow that and so I was fully conscious when I "lost it" with him. I realized that I didn't want him if this is what it MEANT to have him.
Delete^Same here, Monica, I, knew consciously, before and during
ReplyDeletethe confrontation on many occasions. But I went there
too many times. He always won and what in the hell was in
my head to continue to confront. But no more.....
Well, I am glad I have enough self esteem that I do have lows to which I will not go. Some people don't even have this.For this, I am most grateful.
DeleteFunnily enough, after all this he came back as if nothing had happened. I suppose that may be part of it. I don't know.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves. This post is exactly how I behave also. I am an uber-empath, not a sociopath. This is pretty much any strong personality with a high IQ and operates under the perception of win-win choices for themselves and the others around them operates.
ReplyDeleteOnly idiots who are care-free and who couldn't care about their output and who are used to being incompetent would not be surprised when they are getting yelled at, they just are used to it.
I got yelled at only twice in my life and both times because I have gone against the interests of the other person. Their interests were not aligned with the system's and far too selfish so one got taken out of the system by an intellectual purge and the other managed to get me out because he could due to his power base that included six corporate lawyers.
Nothing to do with IQ... I have a 168 and still couldn't care if you live or die.. - truth be known, choking on a chicken bone and being well versed in the "Heimlich" - if no one was watching - I'd watch with fascination..
DeleteThanks for coming out...
beeeeeeepz.
ReplyDeletemusic for my sweetcheeks
Can't wait for COACHELLA!! MY 2 favorite things together at once.
mo nusic to pass the time until you come back home
ReplyDeleteI am gonna dance your face off to this song like last weekend in boystown loloxoxox
ReplyDeletewe will have to covertly spread our pd's across the polo field
ReplyDeleteIf you send me a sociopath world t-shirt I promise to wear it and have my picture taken there. I have a goo friend who runs all their social media (and she loves this site) maybe I can convince her to post a pic of me donning the shirt at cochella.com. Maybe watching Plup or something.
I wanna live common people. I wanna do whatever common people do. I wanna sleep with common people. I wanna sleep with common people like you.
i lol hard in there faces (conferming there suspicions)
ReplyDeleteit's good to ba bad
AnonymousApr 6, 2012 02:03 AM
ReplyDeletenarc?
None of you socios want to be vulnerable. Unfortunately until you do, you will have no personal growth. Maybe someday this will appeal to you. Not holding my breath, though.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThat is the problem. Growth, real growth comes with feeling, passion both negative and positive. I am an empath and I am so glad I'm not a sociopath, but I'm having difficulty surviving my sociopathic partner, it's a shame he will not grow. I don't want to leave him behind.
DeleteSociopaths sometimes fuck with the wrong person. While your mark may be a good victim, they may have a fiercely loyal family member who doesnt just roll over.
ReplyDeletePeople may laugh at Born Again Christians but when you know God loves you, you are just not gonna go that low.
DeleteWtf does that even mean?
DeleteIt means that for someone to abuse you badly, you need a commensurate low self esteem. If you know God loves you, your self esteem will not be gutter level. Any mo' questions?
DeleteIf you need an invisible friend for self esteem, it is already in the gutter.
DeleteLOL invisible friend
Delete^In this world "Somedays your the dog and somedays your the tree." Are you telling us that your NEVER
Deletethe tree? Are you narcissistic?
^ Those questions were for Monica.
DeleteWHAT do those questions mean *cocks head like dog*
Delete@Monica......Excuse me, WHERE DO YOU SEE "cocks head
Deletelike dog" in previous posts?"
LOL
Deletepoor anonymous
@anon at 12:02:
Deleteinvisible to you doesn't mean invisible to everyone
Anon 1:10
DeleteDo you want to reword your question about the dog and the tree so a normal person can understand it?
Theme Song for Anon 1:10
Delete@Monica.......No, I'm not going to explain my post.
DeleteYou claiming to be a christian is, also, confusing.
Not so!
What is confusing? I will answer if you dispense with the riddles :)
DeleteMy wife had a very eloquent way of saying something similar, she said that I was born with a gift that when someone made the mistake of crossing me, I would look into their soul and rip it apart.
ReplyDeleteHer discription of some of my quirks always makes me want to smile for some reason, she knows that I was diagnosed and suprisingly seems un bothered by it, she just say the pieces fit.
My wife had a very eloquent way of saying something similar, she said that I was born with a gift that when someone made the mistake of crossing me, I would look into their soul and rip it apart.
ReplyDeleteHer discription of some of my quirks always makes me want to smile for some reason, she knows that I was diagnosed and suprisingly seems un bothered by it, she just say the pieces fit.
She thinks this quality is an asset? Has she been
Deletediagnosed?
She hasn't been diagnosed with anything. So far as I can tell she is normal, alittle emotional damaged, but normal. For alittle while she wondered if she had something wrong with her that allowed her to tolerate me and my set of traits as most "normal" people's advice to the situation was avoid sociopaths like the pleague but she didn't see the problem. She has said before she can see situations in which my set of personality traits could be bennifital, and that aside she has no concern that I would try to wrong her (rightly so, I treat it as if I keep her happy it'll get me what I want anyways).
DeleteWe've been together for so long and she has become so intimatly framiliar with me and how I act that the fact you can apply a label to it doesn't really change anything.
I couldn't agree more with this article. I'm usually able to keep my sweet, caring face on no problem. Had a lot of patients hugging and kissing me (can't tell you how annoying that is) because I'm just so damn lovely. Even my husband, who knows what I am, has said that I better the lives of all I touch, unless they screw with me or mine that is.
ReplyDeleteI can tolerate a lot of bullshit from those I like, love or need, but when they push it too far, it’s almost like a switch going off in my head and I must teach them a lesson. So the games begin. The great part about being a good listener is that you get to know all their weaknesses, fears and insecurities.
When confronted with my naughty deeds, though, I look the person right in the face, smile my sweetest smile and say 'my, my.. aren't you the clever one. Do you really want to continue this though?' Most people backed down when given their last chance, but I've been told I tear the others' souls apart 'like a monkey on a cupcake'. Very thoroughly enjoy it, too.
There are 2 sociopaths in my family.
DeleteIf you tried that "Aren't you the clever one" crap on me, you'd hit a force so hard your imitating, lack of life heart would bounce behind you.
Take no prisoners with socio's or narcisists. Scum of the earth.
wow green eyes, couldnt have put it any better myself, I am placid 90% of the time but if someone gets on my bad side i will make it my mission to make them pay one way or another and like a pitbull i never let go once i lock on!
ReplyDeleteokay so what does tearing a person's soul mean exactly?
ReplyDeleteapart *yawn*
ReplyDeletetake the collective things that construct that person's personality (referred to simply as soul in this case) and use those things to attack them. If you do so and take the things that make them who they are whether they be good or bad and use them to insult them that badly it truly gets the best end result.
Delete^This.
DeletePart of existing under the radar as a sociopath involves countless hours spent listening to and analyzing the people around you. You'd be surprised at how many intimate things people reveal simply because they know you're listening. With all of this recon, you learn everything: the good, the bad, the hurtful, the desires and fears, and their triggers. You stockpile these potential weapons until they're needed. And when they are, you release them in a Shock and Awe assault, leaving the person dazed, hurt, and wounded to their very core.
For example, a coworker was whinging about another coworker, and was trying to voice what it was about her that irritated her so much. I told her the sum of my observations on the coworker in question in a few short sentences. The complaining one simply stared, awestruck. "That's...oh my god, that's right. All of that is right. That's it exactly. How did you do that? How could you possibly know all that?"
I allowed myself a bared-teeth smile and told her: "I'm always listening."
She's been noticeably kinder to me after that.
I don't understand why sociopaths have the need to tear other people apart. If you weren't affected by the other person, you wouldn't even care to. It's actually a little embarrassing to think that you're so powerful over someone when you even care about it in the first place. It comes from some deeply rooted low self esteem and dog eat dog mentality. I don't believe that anyone is a constant sociopath or empath. I know that I'm simply what I choose to focus on most. Some people identify with their thoughts more than others. Some can't even see out of the mental hole they've dug themselves into, so they will toss that assertion aside immediately and say, "no this is the way it is no matter what, I am a sociopath because I am what I am." Just think about that logic, if you can choose what you think, then you can choose what you are. If you think you can't choose what you think, you can't either. It seems most of the "sociopaths" (and empaths for that matter) on this site are very attached to the idea of being this or that as if it makes them better. It's simply your way of thinking about yourself that led to your identity. Either that or you let an ignorant comment or diagnosis define you, which is very weak. But if you want to be a sociopath, that's fine, that way of thinking/feeling is very concise and razor sharp to the point. It has its benefits that I like to utilize at times, just don't become a silent parasite to those around you because you think it's cool or powerful. It's not. It's very weak. What is powerful is the razor sharp way of thinking and acting - only focusing on what you're currently doing to the exclusion of all else - no interfering feelings or thoughts. That creates success. But that doesn't mean that you should use it to "tear someone's soul apart." That is pathetic. It makes you a twisted individual. I hope that those kind of people begin to see that. If you really are the "sociopath" that you think you are, you wouldn't even allow that person to affect you mentally. That sounds like narcissistic rage caused by insecurity and shame. If someone wrongs you or tries to bring you down, just laugh in their face, because you know you have the internals to overshadow whatever they're trying. You have to internally know they can't touch you, and they'll become a fly on the wall. If they wronged you without that intent, confront them amicably, and they'll listen. I can certainly understand dealing with people who try to wrong you and wanting to rip them apart. I've been wronged before and felt a monster come out that felt like it shook the air and people around me, so I understand being wronged. That seems very damaging to bring out, however. When you feed a situation like that, it means they've affected you too much and gained power over you (unless they touch your family...different story). They've changed and twisted you. I've learned to starve the situation with my own internal pinpoint focus, and it seems the most helpful (and most powerful) way to go if you remember to do it in the moment.
DeleteObservation is the most important skill. People expose so much of themselves with everything they do. I feel like a voyeur, at times.
ReplyDeletei relate to this
DeleteAgreed
Deleteme :i'm not a sociopath i'm an aspie
ReplyDeletemy boss: aspies are shy they dont bully ppl the way you do
me: mouhahaha yeah you are right (./wisle)
I remember reading this comment on the day it was posted. I thought it was Zoe. It doesn't matter. I get it. You don't want peoolee to fuck with your peace. I work hard to maintain my order on the outside and way hard keeping my thoughts peaceful. Once someone decides it's ok to step over a certain line with me, if I can't disarm them with my usual tactics, I take them into a quiet corner nestle my face into their neck, take their wrist, and whisper "I'm gonna kill you"
ReplyDeletemy freeholder has 24 flats out of 32 in the block-when he purchased freehold in 1999 he started housing drink and drug patients from a very well known drink and drug clinic.
ReplyDeleteLeaseholders left in terror--the freeholder offered them £2,500 for their flats they had paid £40,000 plus for.
He also at the same time sold 13 of his flats for £1 each-However hey sill remain registered a his home address.
He has left 8 flats un finished since 1999 so refuses to pay
service charges on them-Total manipulaion all the time-HE loves ripping off leaseholders our MP'S plus council can't touch him!
Simple I do believe the answer is this, sociopaths do not care for feelings or emotions, so why not physically attack them? The best to kill a sociopath is just that, stab them or shoot them, leave them in the gutter to bleed to death. Seems a fairly simple way of dealing with these mentally ill individuals.
ReplyDeleteYou are in the wrong forum. Check the psychopath chat room to the left..... Ok no one wants to read that shit
DeleteSociopaths, thanks for the info! You have one strong empath on your hands over here. Knowledge is power and I know way more about you than you know about us! Once an empath becomes "tuned in", we can have amazing powers. I am learning all sorts of new tricks. One day, no sociopath will be able to break me. I know your games and tricks and I dont have to play them or even use them against you. The key is patience, kick back and let them destroy themselves. Run away, if you can. If you are forced to deal with one, learn how to put up a huge wall to block them. Dont give in to anything, they will get bored with you eventually. When you are submissive they will dominate you. If they harass you, ignore them, change the subject, walk away. No reaction is better than a bad reaction. If you react badly to their harassment, they will attack you till you break. Don't spend too much time with them, a few hours at most. I would rather be seen as boring to a sociopath than be their entertainment.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure isolating the sociopath would help anyone, but you're right, knowledge is power. I can see things getting better for me already. I don't want to be broken anymore.
DeleteA wonderful piece of literature "The Sociopath Next Door" should be made mandatory reading in grade school so that we "empaths" know what to look for and how to terminate sociopathic cockroaches on contact. It takes a long time to recover from a sociopath episode, but man, the next one you meet will provide you the sweet revenge you need. For the next one, just be patient and let them hang themselves before you subtly confront and "confuse" their pathetic little world.
DeleteGood ansr
DeleteWell I exposed an sociopath. Told him I knew what he was. Never heard from him again. He just slithered away. Sometimes I wonder if he's plotting his revenge. We'll see. I often look over my shoulder.
ReplyDeleteI just exposed a sociopath as well. She tried to sabotage me but failed to see that the friends in our circle are more loyal to me, the uber-empath, than to her. I fact checked a bunch of lies she fed me and held onto them while continuing to provoke her to dig her own grave by letting her to continue to lie and by withholding the information that I already had the truth. I played the "gaslit" empath and let her believe that I was losing my sanity. Then I exposed her at the ultimate moment with a calm, cool, delivery and laughed at her attempts to backpedal. I'm not going to lie, exposing her gave me sick pleasure and a deep satisfaction that justice had been served. Martha Stout's book says not to play their game, but let me tell you... when you know you can win and rebalance the order it feels great. When she realized she was out of cover-ups and comrades she disappeared. All of her harassment evaporated in an instant. But you're right... I am worried about the revenge plotting. I look over my shoulder too. But the good news is that I've learned to put up a wall to people like her and play dumb which allows me to stop the crap of a sociopath by playing their very own manipulation game.
DeleteI had the distinct misfortune of being married to a sociopath for 6 years. After our divorce, he got killed mysteriously but not surprisingly! Being a perfectly normal empath I felt a glorious freedom at the news an overwhelming relief that the world was a better place with at least that one piece of human garbage now removed. Indeed sociopaths are human garbage and it is bothersome that our society hasn't prescribed euthenasia for all of them! It really is the only way to deal with them.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to that :)
DeleteEuthenasia could be a bit strong maybe? A tattoo on the forehead would be ideal!
I agree too that they're human garbage.
Just put them away on a secured island with only other sociopaths.
ReplyDeletecan any one of you (sociopath) tell us what kind of people would you stay away from(who intimidate you).and how can you be cornered.thanks
ReplyDeleteI have no idea what I am but I have strong emotions and sympathy for the right people. My husband is a sociopath and the hate I feel towards him has changed me into a chameleon where I change myself to fit into any situation. i play his games and give him his own medicine.. But I am still emotional. Just not around him. I have a high IQ and think deeply and connect on deep levels.. But lash out to people like him and feel i become sociopathic around him .
ReplyDeleteWhy do you stay with him?
DeleteThe best way to cure a sociopath, is to for them to meet a better one. Eventually they will kill each other.
ReplyDeletei have seen the real spell caster that can help us all
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Lol people are trying so hard to sound so intelligent here and so many words aren't even spelled right. This is the most ridiculous stuff. I was married to an S for 20 yrs. Honestly it's not even worth talking to them. Their minds are beyond twisted... they live a life of selfisness and insanity. Don't waste your time.
ReplyDeleteI live with a sociopath!! I tell ya, his is my brother and a very difficult person to deal with. One day he told me that he wanted to hang his ex gf upside down and bleed her out in a mono toned voice. He can never hold a job, does nothing all day, doesn't pay me anything, lied his whole life and I've never felt a warm and fuzzy reation from him ever. He has no connection to his relationships and only preys on the weak to support him. My mom and sister are finished with him and I felt left alone to deal with this narssistic human that only cares about himself and what others can do for him. If he doesn't need us he never calls us, doesn't care about other ppls bdays but his own. Doesn't like Xmas, just takes and never gives. He just follows the echos of what a human is suppose to be like? If that is a sociopath, sucks to be you guys, trapped in your own miserable lives. I feel pity for you!
ReplyDelete